Ordinary Adventures
by Metal Chocobo
Summary: While working a summer shift at a cafe on the island, Kairi just wants a little adventure in her life; maybe a boyfriend. However, when a surf competition comes to town, she finds...something else. Kairi/Yuffie, AU.
1. Raspberry Paopu Smoothie

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own any of Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or the locations within this story.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 1: Raspberry-Paopu Smoothie**

For the past month, ever since Kairi first started working here in the café, she spent her four-days-a-week refilling glasses and bussing dishes. If she had wanted to be a maid, Kairi would have taken the house-cleaning job at the Highwind house. It paid a good dollar twenty an hour more than this one did.

'_But no, I wanted to meet people,'_ Kairi thought snidely as she wiped off a table. _'I wanted to talk to the mainlanders who come here for the surfing. I wanted to serve food.'_

The bell jingled as the front door opened. A youth swaggered into the almost empty café. Kairi grimaced when she picked up a half eaten baloney, mustard, and mayo sandwich.

'_Gross,'_ Kairi mentally moaned as she dumped the sandwich on the trash_, 'Irvine seems to think I'll scare his precious customers away. Sora gets to handle coffee and customers at the coffee hut, but all I get to handle is trash.'_

When she felt a hand touch her shoulders she screamed and dropped her bin full of plates. _'There goes my paycheck,'_ she thought sadly.

Kairi turned around with a pained expression. A slightly older girl with black hair and a jack-o-lantern grin carved on her face stood there. Kairi wasn't certain what the girl was doing there, Irvine had put up the closed sign so that he could run home and give his cat its shots.

"Hiya," chirped the girl. She had a headband on and a black shirt that said 'BITE ME'.

"We're closed," Kairi blurted.

"Why?" she asked as she tilted her head to the side. This gave Kairi a nice view of her tanned neck. She figured that the girl spent a lot of time in the sun, but not here on the islands since Kairi didn't recognize her.

"Because my boss had to give his diabetic cat its shots?" Kairi asked more than answered.

"Excellent," the girl said and sat down in a window booth. "Can I get a menu?" she asked.

"Excuse me?" asked Kairi, surprised. She had just told the girl they were closed and she wasn't really certain to do with this girl who didn't seem to care.

"Oh, is this one of those places where all of the items are written on a blackboard? These islands have so many places like that. I love them because they're so different from anything back home."

"You do?" Kairi politely asked as she handed the girl a menu.

"I'm Yuffie by the way. I'm here for the surfing competition," Yuffie babbled as she searched over the menu.

"You're in the surfing comp?" Kairi asked excitedly, "Not many girls are in it, so it's neat you made the cut. My friend Riku made it in."

"Rikku?" asked Yuffie excitedly. She put down the menu and looked at Kairi. "I can't believe she didn't mention she knew anyone as cute as you. That bitch left me out of the loop."

"What?" asked Kairi, confused. She decided to clarify, " My Riku is a guy. He is about a head taller than I am and is definitely male."

"How did you find out that?" she asked teasingly.

"I accidentally walked in on him when he was in the bathroom when I was eight," Kairi said with a blush.

Yuffie laughed for a bit before saying, "Well I guess that it can't by my Rikku. Ya see, I was thinking of this girl I know when you said Riku. Sorry Two-K for calling you a bitch," she shouted out even though this 'Rikku' was nowhere near them. Yuffie beamed at Kairi and said, "I'll take a raspberry-paopu smoothie please."

Kairi started fiddling with the blender. She had seen Irvine make smoothies a million times, so she figured she could make one. The redhead tossed in some ice, sugar, and tossed in some fresh raspberries.

"Hold on a sec," she said, "I need to pick the paopu."

"Pick it?" Yuffie asked incredulously.

"Of course, do you think we, the only place in the world that the paopu fruit grows, use canned crap?" scoffed Kairi.

She went out the back while Yuffie trailed behind her. As Kairi started to climb the paopu tree out back, she heard a wolf whistle. She glared at the girl behind her.

"Now this is service," Yuffie said with a grin, "I love seeing people work for my dollar. Can I have the big juicy one?"

Kairi plucked the big juicy fruit that Yuffie had pointed to and slid down the tree. "Its not my fault that I'm short," she grumbled to herself.

"Yes it is," Yuffie crowed as she followed Kairi back into the café. "You didn't drink enough milk as a child so your bones didn't get enough calcium to grow big and strong to make you tall."

"I could lock you out of here. And I will if you keep teasing me."

Yuffie snorted and waved one of her hands. "Your boss wouldn't be happy when you do that. Especially when I pick the locks. Besides I like short people. I'm one, you're one, there are lots of them. We're not short, we're travel sized."

Kairi felt her cheeks heat up at the teasing. She silently washed off the paopu and dropped it in the blender. Kairi put the top on, gave it a 90º twist and turned the blender on.

"Remember, you can't share this smoothie with anyone," Kairi said. Yuffie gave her an inquiring look, "Well you know, the legend of the paopu fruit."

Yuffie gave her a blank look.

Kairi sighed and rubbed her brow. "Pull up a seat," she said. Yuffie jumped onto a bar stool on the opposite side of the counter from Kairi. "Okay," started Kairi, "Supposedly if two people share a paopu fruit, their destines are intertwined forever. It's why the Destiny Islands are called Destiny Islands. Only people who are truly in love should share them since they really change your life."

"So it's a marriage fruit?" Yuffie asked.

"It's more than that, it's a way of making certain that even in your next life, you still run into that true love," Kairi said before shrugging, "That is, if you believe the legend. I however don't since I think you only get one time around."

"Well, whatever else, it's a neat story," Yuffie said thoughtfully. "I think I saw a silver haired guy sharing one of these star fruits with a spiky brunette kid. They must be really in love. Either that or really stupid."

Kairi's eyes widened_, 'Sora and Riku are… together? Why the hell didn't they tell me? Did they think they'd hurt my feelings, the things they've never cared about in the past, because they loved each other and not me? Or do they think I'd throw a hissy fit about them being gay and not telling me? Damn right I'd throw a hissy fit, I could have gone cruising with them for… well, men! Yes, sexy men! With black surfer hair and… and… umm abs of steel! Yes, hot sexy black-haired surfer men with abs of steel!'_

As Kairi was lost in her 'deep' thoughts, Yuffie poked her. "Umm, cute nameless girl," the surfer started, "Your eye is twitching."

The girls heard a thunk, saw something white zoom by and were then covered with pink slush. Apparently Kairi hadn't screwed the lid on tight enough and they were now covered in cold ooze. Yuffie wiped the stuff off her face and shoved it into Kairi's. The girls stood there in silence as the smoothie dribbled down everything.

With a shriek, the girls chased each other around the café. The bell tingled and the front door opened. Kairi ran smack dab into her boss.

"What the hell is going on?" yelled Irvine.

Kairi quavered for a few moments before Yuffie saved her. "I'm really sorry Mr. Boss Man," she said, "I came in here even though it was closed and forced this really gorgeous girl to make me a smoothie. But then she told me about the paopu legend and the destiny thingy, which was bad because I was gonna share it with Squallykins and that would be bad since I like girls, although Squallykins is cool in a badass way. So I grabbed the smoothie making machine and tried to stop it only I got the top of instead so the stuff went spew!" Yuffie waved her arms in the air while she told this story.

Irvine stared at the girls. "Kairi, start cleaning up this mess," he said. She quickly started because the redhead was happy to still have her job. "I'm going to get the world famous Yuffie Kisaragi's autograph!" he squealed happily.

By the time Kairi had finished cleaning up the café, her shift was over. Irvine was still fussing over the 'famous Japanese surfer'. The two girls left the café for the boardwalk. They drifted toward the beach before ending up on the docks.

"Thanks for saving my butt back there," Kairi said as they hung their feet off the dock.

"Hey, you're cute," Yuffie said with a grin, "and I mean it was my fault, so no problem. Only I didn't pay for my smoothie. You won't get your pay docked will ya?"

Kairi laughed, "Irvine was so happy to meet his favorite surfer he nearly wet himself. I doubt he even remembers the mess."

Both girls laughed. Yuffie grinned at Kairi again and Kairi smiled back. Kairi thought it was pretty nice to hang out with another girl for once instead of Riku and Sora. _'Especially if they're going to ditch me to suck face in secret,'_ she though darkly.

"Hey," Yuffie said as she poked Kairi in the arm and out of her dark thoughts, "I have to get going now even though I had a great time with you. Squallykins, Two-K, and the others are most likely worried about me since I've been gone for hours. I swear, even though I'm nineteen, they treat me like a baby."

Kairi was surprised that she didn't want Yuffie to leave. "But-"

"No buts," cut off Yuffie as she stuck a finger to the redhead's lips. "Come on and cheer me on in the competition tomorrow. I'll even buy lunch."

She then leaned in and kissed Kairi. Yuffie's lips were dry and the kiss was chaste, but it left the sixteen-year-old spluttering.

Yuffie stood up and brushed off her shorts. "Well, I'm off," she said with a mock salute.

"I can't believe you just did that!" yelled Kairi.

"What, didn't you like it? I thought I felt signals."

"That isn't the point! It was my first kiss! You stole it!" accused Kairi as she blushed. She was more than a little embarrassed that her first kiss had gone to some girl she had just met and she was trying not to cry.

Yuffie grinned again and cocked her head. "I always wanted to be someone's first," she said shyly, "My first kiss went to a guy who… ahh you don't wanna hear about that." She pulled out a card and scribbled something on the back. The girl then opened Kairi's hand, stuck the card in and then closed it. "Call me!" Yuffie shouted over her shoulder as she ran off.

Kairi stared at Yuffie's retreating form before she looked at the card. It read:

Congratulations, you have been robbed by

The Great Ninja Yuffie Kisaragi

Japan's best female surfer

Tokyo U attendee

Yuffie had written her cell phone number with the words "call me" on the back. Kairi stuffed the card in her pocket and when home. She took a shower with her clothes on and then went to bed.

The next morning she woke up to find herself in wet clothes on her bedroom floor. She sat there dumbly for a few moments before she fumbled with her pockets and pulled out the soggy card. The ink was runny, but she could still make out the number. She grinned and thought_,_ _'Fate has other plans for me than those I had expected. I guess I'__m__ not cheering for Riku this year.'

* * *

_

So it would be great if people could review to this story. I'd love to hear what people think of my work.


	2. Snowflakes and Car Hopping

Metal Chocobo: Just a little side note, this series is a set of short stories that are connected. So for most chapters a few months have passed in between entries. I would also like to thank my several reviewers for commenting on my very first post

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own any of Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or the locations within this story.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 2: Snowflakes and Car-Hopping**

It was cold out. Not that nasty cold that left Yuffie wishing that she lived in Mount Fuji, but rather a light chill that made it cold enough for snowflakes. Man there were snowflakes; about a bazillion were coming down outside right now and Yuffie had spent the last hour catching them on her tongue. The only reason Yuffie came back into her apartment was because she had developed a brain freeze.

"Ahh," she sighed as she sank into the couch. Stripped off her snow covered gear and burrowed into the furniture under a fuzzy blanket.

As Yuffie was falling asleep, a strawberry blonde slunk out of her bedroom. The girl smirked then pounced on the unsuspecting ninja. There was a high-pitched girlish scream and then flailing limbs.

Yuffie was being jabbed and tickled by a monster. She couldn't see who was attacking her so she jabbed, kicked, and hit back. The girl managed to get a hold of some squishy flesh when it was shoved in her face. Since she couldn't breathe, Yuffie did what Yuffie would normally do, she bit it.

"Gwaaa!" her attacker yelled and fell off the couch. Unfortunately for Yuffie, the tussle had entangled the girls in the blanket, so she fell off too.

"Rikku," Yuffie growled as she starred at her attacker.

"You bit my boob!" wailed Rikku.

"You attacked me!" Yuffie yelled back. Rikku pouted a little and looked ready to start crying. Yuffie sighed and then said, "I'm sorry for giving you boob-pain, Two-k, now why did you attack me?"

Rikku immediately smirked at Yuffie's question. This made Yuffie inwardly groan. She knew that smirk, that was the smirk that Rikku used to get men to get her free stuff. Seeing it on Two-K's face with no hapless men around spelt trouble for Yuffie.

Rikku took her time in answering, "You got a phone call."

Yuffie perked up. She loved phone calls. They made her feel loved, especially when one of her studly man friends called because they sucked at talking on the phone. "Who called?" she asked with a grin.

"It was on your cell phone," Rikku continued as if she hadn't heard Yuffie.

The ninja's grin faltered and her brow furrowed. Nobody really used her cell phone number because everyone knew she always forgot it in strange places (Rikku once found it in a tub of Rocky Road in the freezer) or let the battery die. The fact that Rikku was able to answer it in the first place was amazing in and of itself.

"Who was it?" she asked again.

"A girl," Rikku said. She drew out the word 'girl' like an annoying little brother would.

Yuffie grabbed Rikku by the shoulders and pushed the girl onto her back. The black-haired girl sat on the blonde's stomach and shook her. "What girl?" she yelled It had been months since Yuffie had been on a date and she hated being single. If the girl was calling Yuffie, the possibility of getting a girlfriend was there. Spending another winter single was not acceptable to Yuffie. The season was bad enough because she couldn't surf, throwing in a bunch of lonely nights was not happening.

"Kairi," Rikku said with a knowing grin. Whatever reaction the girl was expecting, it wasn't what Yuffie gave her.

Yuffie stared blankly into space. _'Who the hell is Kairi?'_ she thought_, 'Arrgg! I know that name!'_ She growled and leaned against the couch. Yuffie exhaled loudly and gave Rikku a mournful look.

"Is she someone bad?" Rikku asked worriedly. Her teasing mood had vanished when she saw that Yuffie was unhappy. "Is she an ex? I could kick her ass if you'd like, Yuff."

"No, no, no," Yuffie said waving her arms about, "It's nothing like that. I remember all of my exs in great detail. Thing is, I can't remember who Kairi is. Could it have been a wrong number, Rikku?"

Rikku looked thoughtful. "I don't think so." She finally said, "She asked for you by name. She was pretty timid and sounded a little young." Rikku grinned, "She asked if I was your girlfriend. As if! I told her I was very happy with my Gippal, thank you very much."

"Kairi… young… girlfriend," muttered Yuffie. Then it hit her. "Oh," she exclaimed putting her hands to her mouth, "The cute redhead from the islands!"

"Summer surfing fling?"

"I wish," Yuffie said with a grin. She looked at Rikku and continued, "Remember the Destiny Islands comp where I just barely finished second after that silver haired dude?

"Guys with my name, yeah I remember those islands."

"I just met this gorgeous babe there," Yuffie said savoring the memory. Not only did the memory have a cute redhead, it also held an exploding blender and a marriage fruit. "She was this cute little redhead," Yuffie continued, "So timid and unsure about how to react to me—"

"Most people have that reaction, Yuffie," cut in Rikku.

"I stole her first kiss and gave her my phone number," Yuffie said with a glare at the other girl. "I didn't get to see her again while I was on the islands. I'm so happy she called!" squealed Yuffie as she threw her arms around Rikku.

"She didn't leave a number, Yuffie," Rikku said quietly.

Yuffie's spirit fell. She pulled back from Rikku and looked at her sadly. "She didn't?" she asked.

Rikku shook her head. "The cell phone died before she could tell me. I'm sorry, Yuff."

The two girls sat in a gloomy silence. An idea started to form in Yuffie's head. She grinned and stood up. "I know how to get Kairi's phone number," she said.

Rikku perked up when she caught Yuffie's enthusiasm. "How?" she asked as she got up from the floor.

"The Destiny Islands' directory! It's a list of all the inhabitants' home addresses and phone numbers. Wuti has one, Tokyo has one, so why not the Islands?"

"It's a great plan, Yuffie, but do you have Kairi's last name?"

"I don't need it!" Yuffie shouted with an insane laugh. She leapt onto the couch's back and continued, "We have the surfer dude's last name! He's Kairi's friend, so he should have her number. Bwa haha haha haha—ekkk!" The 'ekkk' occurred when Yuffie lost her footing and took a swan dive off the couch.

Several hours later Yuffie had made some headway. She had figured out the surfer's name, which was Riku Jenova, and had just gotten his home phone number by pretending to be his elderly aunt.

Rikku had left the apartment an hour ago for a date with Gippal, so Yuffie had the apartment all to herself. Yuffie stretched and yawned. The surfer had spent the last three hours bullying and harassing phone operators into giving her what she wanted. She figured it was time for a break.

'_After all,' _Yuffie thought as she made herself a smoothie_. 'Kairi wouldn't want me to keel over and die of starvation before our first date.'_ She was mindful to make certain that the blender top was on tight. She drank her smoothie before getting back to work.

Yuffie twisted the phone cord through her fingers as she waited for Riku to pick up. She could never remember ever being this impatient to hear from a man. Finally the phone was answered. Yuffie resisted the urge to cheer.

"Sephiroth speaking," a man, presumably Sephiroth, answered.

"Its this the Jenova residence?" Yuffie politely asked.

"Yes."

"May I please speak to Riku?"

"One moment please," Sephiroth calmly said. Yuffie heard the phone move and then the man bellowed, "Riku! Stop trying to suck Sora's face off and get down here!"

The phone was silent for a minute before Yuffie heard muttering on the other end. Then another man, Riku, was on the line. "Hello," he said, sounding somewhat annoyed.

Yuffie felt the direct approach would be best. "Do you have Kairi's phone number?" she asked.

"What?" the man asked, clearly surprised at the request.

"Do you have Kairi's phone number?" Yuffie repeated and then felt she should explain, "Look she's sixteen, or at least was this summer, red hair purple eyes, great body. She said that you were her friend, so do you have her number?"

"Kairi," he said slowly, "Has a great body?"

Yuffie was ready to scream. "Have you looked at her?" she snapped.

"Almost every day of my life," was the reply.

Yuffie glared at the phone. Clearly this Riku did not know what a good-looking woman looked like. She heard some noise on the other end of the phone. Riku was talking to someone.

"I donno, Sora, it's some chick who wants Kairi's body," Riku said.

"I want her phone number! PHONE NUMBER! Damn it!" Yuffie screamed into the phone.

The surfer heard some muffled swearing before another boy, who was much more cheerful, was on the line.

"Hello, this is Sora," he said, "May I ask who is calling?"

Yuffie smiled, "Hello Sora, nice to meet you. I'm Yuffie, do you have Kairi's phone number?"

"Yes, but it won't do you any good," Sora said.

"Why not?" whined Yuffie.

"Well, she's in Tokyo right now," Sora said a little uncomfortably.

"Tokyo," Yuffie exclaimed. She could do Tokyo, she lived in Tokyo. She was so going to find Kairi.

"She's staying with her… Oh God… uncle…" Sora trailed off with heavy panting. Yuffie tapped her fingers on the counter. She wasn't really in the mood to listening to boys do something she really didn't want to think about. "Riku, stop it… sorry Yuffie, umm what were we talking about?"

"Where is Kairi?" Yuffie asked through clenched teeth.

"She is staying with her cousin, Axel."

"Got a phone number?"

"No," Sora said. Yuffie wanted to cry; she was never going to find Kairi at this rate. "But I do have an address," he added.

"I could kiss you," Yuffie said with a grin.

An hour later Yuffie was banging on her good friend Aeris's door. The lady owned a great flower shop and Yuffie needed flowers. After all, flowers were a key part to wooing someone. Yuffie planned to woo.

"Aeris! Aeris, I know you're in there!" Yuffie yelled as she continued to pound on the door.

Suddenly the door was opened and Yuffie was banging against flesh instead of wood. The flesh was well toned and belonged to her good friend Leon, who she fondly called Squallykins. He was only wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and a scowl. Yuffie grinned up at him.

"Can Aeris come out and play?" Yuffie asked, "I need flowers."

Leon glared at her, "You shatter this neighborhood's peace and drag me out of bed because you need flowers."

"No," Yuffie said wagging her finger, " I shattered this neighborhood's peace and dragged you out of bed because I want Aeris out of bed to get me flowers."

"You are one crazy bitch," Leon said.

"Yup, but you love me," Yuffie said with a grin, "and if you don't get Aeris down here, I'm going to spend the entire night on your doorstep singing opera."

Leon growled and then turned around to go and get his wife. Yuffie smirked as she waited for Aeris. She loved the pair dearly, Aeris and Squall 'call me Leon' Leonhart were like older siblings, and understood they needed sleep, but she'd be damned if she spent another season single.

It was almost midnight and Yuffie was hiding in some bushes. She had the flowers (provided by Aeris's shop), she had the candy in a heart shaped box, and she even had a stuffed moogle doll. Yuffie was outside Kairi's Cousin Axel's house and she was nervous.

'_What if she doesn't remember who I am?'_ Yuffie wondered completely forgetting that Kairi had tried to contact her first. Yuffie walked up to the front door and took a deep breath. _'What am I thinking?'_ thought Yuffie_, 'I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie and of course she'll remember me. With my charm, I can easily win Kairi over.'_

Yuffie rang the bell and found herself face to chest for the second time that night with an annoyed shirtless male. When she looked up, she saw that he had long, spiky red hair and a smirk. He was glaring at her, so she glared back.

"The flowers are lovely," he said, "but I have to disappoint you, I'm already taken."

Yuffie smirked back. "Charming," she said, "You must be cousin Axel. Is Kairi home? Because these are for her, not you."

Axel looked surprised. He rubbed the back of his head and said, "I didn't know that Kairi was a lesbo."

"She doesn't either, at least not yet," Yuffie said. The girl sighed, "I met Kairi last summer. She was cute, I gave her my number and haven't seen her since. She called my cell today, which my stupid roommate got instead, so I didn't talk to her and I wanna talk to her which meant pretending to be Riku Jenova's aunt which lead me here." Yuffie paused for air. With every word she said, she had been speaking faster and faster. She always did that when she was nervous. "So," she concluded, "is Kairi here?"

Axel blinked. "You are one weird chick," he said and then stood to the side of the door to allow Yuffie in. "Down the hall, second door on the right, he added after Yuffie came into the house.

Yuffie followed those instructions while Axel went back to his phone conversation. The girl crept up to the door and gently knocked against the wood. She waited silently for an answer from within.

"Go away Axel!" Kairi yelled from inside the room, "I don't wanna hear your Roxas woes. You don't need my help getting in his pants."

Yuffie's heart skipped a beat. Her goofy grin plastered itself across her face. She had found Kairi! Yuffie bit her lower lip, still smiling. Kairi sounded a little more forceful, which was a good thing since Yuffie wanted a girlfriend and not a pet.

The surfer ninja opened the door slowly and peeked inside. Kairi was sitting at a desk with her back to the door. The girl was reading a book by the light of a table lamp. Yuffie slipped in and carefully shut the door behind her. She sat her offerings on the bed and slunk up behind Kairi.

Yuffie grinned. She slapped her hands over Kairi's eyes and sang, "Guess who?"

Kairi sat still for a moment, then timidly asked, "Selphie?"

Yuffie shook her head, "Nope."

"Umm… Larxene, Axel's friend?"

Yuffie shook her head again, "Nope."

Kairi made a wild guess, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer?"

Yuffie grinned. "Close, but no cigar," she said. Yuffie then spun the girl around and cried, "It's meee!"

Kairi blinked. Yuffie grinned. Kairi blinked. Yuffie grinned. Kairi stared. Yuffie smiled. Then, "Yuffie?" Kairi asked slowly.

"The one and only," Yuffie said.

"What are you doing here?" asked a bewildered Kairi.

"Picking you up for our date."

"What date?"

"The one you initiated when you called me."

"I didn't even reach you," cried Kairi indignantly, "I got your roommate!"

"And for that I am truly sorry," Yuffie said. She got down on her knees so that they were more or less looking eye to eye. "But I am here now," she said, "and I brought flowers."

Kairi stared at her again, "How did you even find me?"

Yuffie grinned. "I have my ways," she said, "Now come get your presents!" The surfer then pulled the younger girl over to the bed and had her sit down.

"What is this?" Kairi asked lifting up the white blob.

"A moogle," Yuffie answered promptly.

"Okay… and you got me coconut chocolates."

"Is there a problem with coconut?" Yuffie asked.

"I'm allergic."

"Oh… I'll do better next time."

"You got orchids," Kairi said when she looked at the flowers.

"Are you allergic to those too?" Yuffie pulled on her hair, "I should have gotten roses… all of my gifts suck."

Kairi smiled at Yuffie. "I love orchids," she said softly.

"Well, at least I got something right," Yuffie said with a laugh. The two lapsed into an uneasy silence. This wasn't how Yuffie wanted their second meeting to go. She wanted excitement, fireworks, the good stuff, but so far, all she had done was mess up.

"It's nice to see you Yuffie," Kairi finally said.

Yuffie leapt into action. "Yeah, it's great to see you too," she said happily, "So what do you want to do?"

"Well," Kairi said thoughtfully as she got up from the bed, "The flowers need to be put in water, so I think that should be done first. After all, it would be bad if your gift died."

Yuffie nodded dumbly. Aeris would approve of Kairi's choice, they both seemed to believe that people needed to care for flowers. The two girls entered the kitchen in order to put the flowers in a vase. Axel was sitting at the table talking dirty to the phone and barely glanced in their direction.

"It he," Yuffie trailed off.

"Trying to arrange a foursome?" Yes," Kairi said as she started running some water. Yuffie gave her a look. She smiled and added, "Yeah, he's really weird. So shall we do this date thing later today, like after the sunrises?"

"Why not now?" Yuffie asked, quite puzzled.

"Because its after midnight, you vampire bat" Kairi said teasingly, "and unlike you, I can't stay up all night. I usually conk out in about an hour."

"Fine," grumbled Yuffie, "We'll meet for ice cream tomorrow. Tenish, at the Diamond Dust six blocks from here."

Kairi smiled slightly at the suggestion. She walked Yuffie to the door, which was when Yuffie kissed Kairi. This time Kairi didn't seem quite as surprised and she didn't freak out.

"Until tomorrow," Yuffie said with a grin, and then she left.

Yuffie woke up warm and content. She had a date with Kairi around ten. It was at an ice cream parlor in the middle of winter, but since Kairi agreed to it, Yuffie wasn't complaining. Yuffie took a leisurely shower and then ate breakfast. She got dressed and painted her nails. She wanted to look her best for her date.

Yuffie was just pulling on her roller blades when she glanced at the microwave clock. It read 10:54 am. Yuffie screamed. She was over an hour behind schedule.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit," Yuffie swore as she viciously tugged her blades on. She messed up on the straps four times before she got them on.

Yuffie raced out of the apartment. She fell down half a flight of stairs before she got her footing. She burst out of her building and sped through the crowd. Considering the crowds in Tokyo, Yuffie made excellent time by ducking and weaving.

She made it to the ice cream parlor by 11:30. After slamming into the glass door, she entered cautiously and looked for her redhead. No luck, Kairi wasn't in the shop. Yuffie growled, ran her hands through her hair and sat down on the counter.

She spied Rikku working behind the counter. "Two-K!" Yuffie yelped, "Have you seen Kairi?"

Rikku looked at her blankly, "Who?"

"Red hair, purple eyes, great body," Yuffie said with her face inches away from Rikku's.

Rikku looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well there was a girl in here who fits that description," she said slowly. Then Rikku shrugged, "She was in here for about an hour or so, just left about twenty minutes ago." Rikku looked around, Yuffie was gone.

"Stupid alarm clock dying on of all days," Yuffie muttered as she skated along. She would look up and glance around the snowy city every now and then, hoping to see red hair.

Yuffie was a romantic idiot, she hated to admit it, but who else besides a hopeless romantic idiot would chase after a girl she barely knew in the middle of winter. Yuffie had no idea if she was going in the right direction to find Kairi or even why she was going to such extremes. All she knew was that at twenty, she was sick of messing up. There was something about Kairi that Yuffie couldn't describe, but she dearly liked.

Then she saw it. Red hair across the street, Yuffie knew it had to be Kairi, after all how many redheads were there in an Asian city?

Yuffie stopped and yelled, "Kairi!"

The girl didn't seem to hear her, or at least she didn't stop. Yuffie growled, she had already messed up enough today and she wasn't going to screw up again. Yuffie took thirty seconds to analyze, Kairi was moving away on the other side of the busy street. It she tried to find a crosswalk, she'd have to wait for it and Kairi could be gone forever before Yuffie could make it across the street.

'_Screw it,'_ Yuffie though angrily_, 'I'm going to do what the Great Ninja Yuffie would do.'_

Then, ignoring the strange looks she was getting, Yuffie ran up to the street and started climbing a bus. People inside of the vehicle were giving her weird looks, but she made it to the roof. She skated down the roof and nimbly hopped onto the top of a nearby taxi. For once Yuffie was happy for the over population and the deadlocked streets. She leaped and skated from rooftop to rooftop, slowly gaining on her friend.

"Kairi!" Yuffie shouted once she was closer, "Kairi!"

The girl turned around. The anger on her face was immediately replaced by shock. The girl watched as Yuffie finished crossing the street. Yuffie leaped off the roof of the last car and sped toward Kairi. Unfortunately the combination of ice and the busted brake from landing on the back of a pickup truck meant that Yuffie ran Kairi over instead of stopping in front of her.

They hit the ground in a tangle of legs. Yuffie, since she ran into Kairi, was on top. The girl lay there panting while she tried to recover from using her ninja skills.

"What is wrong with you?" Kairi barked when she pushed the older girl off of her.

"Don't be mad," Yuffie pleaded, "My alarm clock died. I came as fast as I could, but you were already gone, and Rikku was no help, so I ran over cars when I saw you because I want there to be an us."

They sat there again with Kairi starring and Yuffie silently pleading for forgiveness, even though she was smiling.

"I've fallen for you," Yuffie said quietly, "at least twice."

"I must be insane," Kairi said move to herself than to Yuffie. The girl stood up and slowly pulled Yuffie up too.

The pair started to walk down the sidewalk, ignoring the strange looks they were getting. Kairi smiled hesitantly. "Those were some fancy moves you used back there," she said, "Where did you learn to jump like that?"

"My dad," Yuffie said with a slight smile, "He's a dojo master in Wuti, taught me almost every thing he knew. We had a big falling out when he found out that I'm, you know… a chick who likes chicks."

"Well it was really something," Kairi said with a laugh, "I thought you were going to break your neck."

"Well excuse me, I figured our kids would want some excitement in the story of how their moms met," Yuffie said as she wrapped her arms around the other girl.

"But this isn't how we met," Kairi said sounding annoyed. She then stopped and gave Yuffie a strange look. "What kids?" she asked unsurely.

"Oh, the ones we'll have later on," Yuffie said. "Don't sweat it," she added and kissed Kairi on the cheek.

"I wanna take things one step at a time," Kairi said giving Yuffie the look.

"We will," promised Yuffie.

"Now for the first step," Kairi said, "Do you know of someplace where we can get warm?"

"I believe I do," Yuffie answered with a smile. And she did.

* * *

So reviews would be wonderful. Thanks for reading chapter two 


	3. Surfing for Chocobos

Metal Chocobo: Hey there again. I'm here to warn you that there is some "adult content" in this chapter that some people may find offensive. Technically, one can skip over it (hell you could skip the entire chapter if you wanted to) without it destroying the plot. Still I really would prefer if you would read chapter three.

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own any of Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or the locations within this story.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 3: Surfing for Chocobos**

"Kairi?"

"Yes, Yuf?" Kairi responded sleepily.

"Do you think Cloud is lonely?"

Kairi stretched and yawned. She was used to her girlfriend going off on strange tangents at the oddest moments, but that didn't mean that she liked it. It was four in the morning and the girls were cuddled together in Kairi's bed. The last thing Kairi wanted to think about was her boss when Yuffie had her arms around her.

"Do you Kai?" Yuffie asked as she pulled Kairi closer.

"I have no idea if Cloud Strife is lonely or has any other emotions at all. He has the personality of a workaholic ice cube and makes your friend Leon look like a squealing fan girl," Kairi said sternly. She then sighed and continued, "I'm sorry Yuffie. I'm tired and sleepy and just can't believe that my girlfriend wants to talk about my boss's emotional state at four in the morning."

Yuffie laughed. "I'm rubbing off on you," the older girl said. Yuffie was grinning, Kairi couldn't see it since the room was dark, but she knew the smile was there thanks to the teasing tones in Yuffie's voice.

"So can I get back to sleep?" Kairi asked, "Unlike you, I have to get up in an hour and a half to get ready for work."

"Sleep," scoffed Yuffie. The ninja started to plant a trail of kisses down Kairi's back. "I have a much better idea than sleeping," she whispered. The matter of Cloud Strife was forgotten.

**xxx**

"I want you to type up the Okowkwo's and the Clarkson's cases by lunch and have the client list properly updated. If the Trepe lawyer calls, let me know, otherwise don't bother me until after lunch. I want you to sit in on my meeting with the Tilmitt family. Do you understand Hart?"

"Yes Mr. Strife," Kairi said demurely. Cloud Strife really knew how to kill a morning by packing on the work the moment she stepped into his office. She had to be in Strife's office at seven sharp every day; otherwise she'd lose her internship. He always gave her a boatload of work to do. Unlike the other interns, Kairi was special; she was the only one to handle Cloud Strife's paper work.

_'And boy were they lucky,'_ Kairi thought bitterly as she was about to leave the room.

"Hart," Strife said as he scanned the newspaper.

"Yes, Sir?" she asked dutifully.

"Get me the Kinneas file before you do anything else."

"Yes Sir." After the redhead retrieved the file, Strife's office was shut for the morning. She gave a sigh of relief and got to work on her projects.

Kairi knew she should feel special. She was Cloud Strife's only intern. With big blue eyes, spiky blond hair, and the short stature of five-foot-seven, Cloud Strife did not look like the country's best prosecuting attorney. But he was. Kairi was learning the basics of lawyering from the best, and she wanted to gorge his eyes out.

Kairi had just shut the finished Clarkson folder when Strife's door opened. She squeaked and quickly grabbed the folders. She then held out the folders as if offering sacrifice to a god. Strife took the folders and carelessly tossed her hard work onto his desk. He locked his office and turned to look at her.

"There has been a change in plans," he said calmly, "If you want to listen in on the Tilmitt case, you will have to come to lunch with me. I would, of course, pay and you do not have to accept."

"I…" Kairi trailed off blanking on what to say to her boss. Then her phone went off. She could hear the Mission Impossible theme music blaring out of her purse. Normally her lunch hour was a fine time for Yuffie to call, but this wasn't a normal lunch hour.

"Your purse seems to have a movie fetish," Strife said.

"I have to take this, Sir, can you give me two minutes?" Kairi asked in a panic. Cloud crossed his arms, but he stayed where he was. Kairi pulled out her phone and answered it.

"A chocobo," was Yuffie's greeting.

"What?" asked Kairi. She wasn't in the mood to play a guessing game.

"We should get Cloud a chocobo," Yuffie said enthusiastically.

_'Oh god, not this again,'_ Kairi groaned as she stole a glance at her boss. He was checking his watch. Kairi needed to end this. "Can we talk about this later?" she hissed.

"Why this is your lunch break, isn't it?" asked Yuffie, "I can talk to you on your lunch break."

"Yes, but my boss is taking me out to lunch," Kairi said.

"Cloudster trying to get some action eh?" Yuffie said sounding annoyed. "Well not with my woman he don't" she bellowed into the phone.

Kairi did something she knew she'd regret later. She hung up on Yuffie and turned her phone off. She then tucked the phone back into her purse. She then brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and looked at Cloud. Cloud's only facial expression change was that his eyebrows were raised.

"Dare I ask," he said.

"That was Yuffie, she is rather weird," Kairi said before quickly adding, "So the Tilmitt case, Sir, can you tell me anything before we arrive?" Strife started to explain what she could and could not do since she was there to observe only. Kairi was really glad Strife had forgotten about the phone call, she didn't want to tell her boss that she was gay.

After work Kairi went over to Yuffie's apartment in order to find her estranged girlfriend. Instead she found Yuffie's roommate Rikku, who was not pleased to see her.

"Can you explain why Yuffie was crying when I got home?" demanded Rikku, "She says you were cheating on her with a piece of the weather."

All of Kairi's annoyance at Yuffie evaporated. Kairi hated making people cry, especially her little ninja-surfer. "My boss brought me along to meet clients at lunch today and Yuffie got the wrong impression when she called," Kairi said rubbing her temples. She did not need this right now. "As of the whole weather thing," she continued, "I can only assume that came from the fact that my boss's name is Cloud."

"Oh," Rikku said, no longer angry with the redhead.

"Where is Yuffie?" Kairi asked.

"Ocean," Rikku said automatically, "She said she was going to her favorite surfing spot."

"Lovely," Kairi said with a sigh. She caught a train to the beach.

From the beach it looked like Yuffie was walking on water. Actually. It looked more like she was dancing on it. The way the waves crested hid her surfboard so all one could see was her lithe figure spinning and twirling a top of the waves. Yuffie looked like a water sprite playing with the tides.

Kairi would have found this breath taking if she hadn't already seen Yuffie surf at her best. "Yuffie!" she yelled out at the figure. Getting no response, Kairi walked up to the edge of the water. She grimaced when the tide ran over her high heels. _'I spent seventy bucks on those heels and they had been on sale too,'_ she thought sadly_, 'Still, Yuffie is more important than any pair of shoes.'_

Kairi continued to watch her dark haired surfer. Yuffie seemed to turn on a wave too sharply and lost her balance. She fell into the water while her board went sailing along with out her. She wasn't resurfacing.

"Yuffie!" screamed Kairi. She ripped off her suit jacket and skirt before she ran into the waves. Her heels came off, stuck into the sand. When she was waist deep in the water, she stopped running and started swimming. After having a particularly large wave roll through her, Kairi caught sight of her. With a vicious kick that made her lose her pantyhose, Kairi caught Yuffie. The water had so thoroughly soaked her blouse and made it so heavy that Kairi had to yank if off in order to keep her head above the water.

She carried the older girl back to the shore and held Yuffie as she coughed up water. When Yuffie was finally done, Kairi held her tight. Kairi buried her head into the shoulder of Yuffie's wet suit. They stayed there embracing each other.

"I thought I had lost you," Yuffie said softly.

"You're an idiot," Kairi said quietly from Yuffie's shoulder. She pinched Yuffie's arm and looked up into her face. "I love you more than I could love anybody else in the entire universe," she wiped some of the sea brine off her face and continued, "and how can you think any different I have no idea. How can you possibly do something as stupid as surf in this weather, depressed, and without someone to spot you. If I hadn't shown up, you could be dead!"

Yuffie grinned and kissed her. "I am an idiot," she said while grinning, "but you love me and that's all that matters." Yuffie pulled Kairi to her feet. "Come on Kai," she said happily, "I've got some dry clothes you can wear. Well unless you like standing around in only a bra. That's fine with me too. More of you for me to look at."

Kairi squawked before snatching up Yuffie's clothes. They went home soaking wet and sharing a towel.

**xxx**

That weekend found the girls in a pet store. It was run by a small blond boy. His tag read 'Link', Kairi didn't know if that was his name or rank, but he was nice and helpful. They were trying to find a pet for Cloud. Yuffie's idea was that since no human could possibly love Kairi's boss, an animal might. Kairi had her doubts.

"Hey, think a chocobo would be good?" Yuffie asked as she looked at the small birds. She cooed softly at the birds.

"Yuffie," Kairi said softly. "For all I know, Strife is a chocobo eater. We can't pick out a pet for my boss. And that is final."

Yuffie looked at her with large puppy eyes. "But," she started.

"No," Kairi said firmly.

"Please," the ninja whined.

"No," she said again.

"Kairi," pleaded Yuffie.

"Yuffie, so help me god, if you love me, you will not get a pet for my boss," Kairi said firmly, "Cloud Strife can get his own bloody pet if he wants one."

Link glanced at both girls and asked uncertainly, "You work for Cloud Strife?"

Kairi locked her purple eyes with Link's blue. "Yes," she said in a tone usually reserved for killing people.

"The lawyer?" he timidly added.

She gave a slow nod. The boy's face brightened considerably. "I know him," he said cheerfully, "You must be his intern. Yeah setting him up with a new pet wouldn't be good; one should never buy pets for someone else."

"Why not?" Yuffie asked.

"Because you don't pick your pet, your pet picks you. So your little buddy wants you and no one else," Link said with a smile, "They'd be sad if you gave them away to somebody else."

Kairi smiled, the boy had managed to do something she could not; Link had talked Yuffie out of buying Strife a pet. The madness was finally over.

Yuffie looked at Kairi. "Can we get a pet Kairi?" she asked Kairi as she intertwined their fingers.

_'Oh shit,'_ Kairi thought as she stared at her girlfriend. "Where would we keep a pet?" she asked being the voice of reason.

"My apartment, we're allowed pets for an extra fee. Or your apartment, it has the same deal," Yuffie said with a grin.

"It does?" Kairi asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Yuffie said happily, working on the crack of Kairi's armor for her I-want-a-pet campaign, "In the third article, fifth page, second paragraph of your lease it said that for an extra ten bucks a month, you can have a pet."

"You read my lease," Kairi said, amazed. Yuffie had never gotten around to reading her own lease, she never even read the terms of use with her email account, so how could she possibly have had time to read Kairi's?

"Yep," Yuffie said. She wrapped an arm around Kairi's shoulders and pulled her close. "A pet would also keep you company, Kairi, in three weeks I'll be gone for the rest of the summer on the surfing circuit. You'll need somebody to keep you warm at night while I'm gone, so why not a cute fluffy chocobo?"

"Okay," Kairi said slowly, "we can get a chocobo."

"Sooo," Yuffie said slowly with a grin.

Link stared at her for a moment. "How did you learn to pitch sales so well?" he asked.

"Girl Scouts," Yuffie said with a laugh, "Can we see the birdies?"

Link pointed toward the bird pens. "Help yourselves," he said, "however, you must know, the two black birds are not for sale."

"Why not?" Yuffie asked, "they yours?"

Link nodded. He then ushered Kairi over to the pen. Kairi leaned over and looked into the large pen. There were chocobo of all various shapes, sizes, and colors. Besides the traditional yellow, there were blue, green, brown, black, purple, red, pink, gold, white, and one color she couldn't identify.

"Is that a silver chocobo?" Kairi asked squinting at the one she could swear was sulking in a corner next to some roses. It seemed to be annoyed by the pink one that was either trying to flirt with it or the rosebush.

"Yep, that silver one is Zexion," Link said before he climbed onto the pen. He waded through the birds over to the corner and pulled the pink chocobo off the rosebush. "Marluxia," Link demanded, "How many times have I told you the rosebush is not interested in you. Plants are not willing to have inter-kingdom relationships. Stop trying to mate with it!"

Kairi had to laugh at the stupidity of the pink bird. She then turned to see Yuffie in the pen holding up a struggling dishwater-blond bird. She was laughing and pointing at the bird's unusual crest.

"Kairi," Yuffie said with a grin, "This bird has a mullet!"

"Yes, Demyx does have a mullet," Link said, "Could you put him down? He isn't very fond of heights."

"Are all the birds named?" Kairi asked. She thought it would be a little weird to get a pre-named pet.

"Yes," Link said, "I've named them all in order to make them feel loved. If you want to name your own chocobo, you'd have to wait until the next eggs are hatched. That won't happen until October."

"Hey, what's wrong with that black one?" Yuffie asked. She was pointing at a rather bedraggled looking bird. It seemed to be dirty and missing many of its feathers. It was curled up in a corner. The all black coat was dull and the red eyes were so bloodshot that perhaps it really had a different eye color. Next to the crappy looking bird was another black chocobo. It was a fine looking specimen with purple eyes and a glossy coat. He, Kairi got the sense that it was a he, was trying to preen the other chocobo, but the bird was having none of that.

"That's Vinnie," Link said sadly, "He's my bird and he's in love. Unfortunately."

"How is that a bad thing?" Yuffie asked, "Being in love is wonderful."

"He's in love with a moogle," Link rolled his eyes, "Intra-species relationships rarely work. She doesn't really give a damn about Vinnie and besides that Lucrecia—" Kairi noticed Vinnie perk up at the name, "—belongs to my creepy neighbor Hojo. I'd never leave Vinnie in his care, he scares me."

"Who's his big beautiful buddy?" Kairi asked teasingly. She smiled at the bird as he preened himself at her compliments.

"That's Zack," Link said, "He lives with a friend of mine. I baby-sit him while his master is at work."

"Neat," Kairi said as she looked through the chocobos. Something about Yuffie's enthusiasm, the birds themselves, and Kairi's own childhood desire for a pet made Kairi want a chocobo. The girl then climbed into the pen and sat on the floor so she was closer to the birds. She sat quietly and watched them interact. She knew one of them would turn out to be right for her. All Kairi had to do was sit and wait.

Then she saw her. She was a small chocobo, with the common canary-yellow plumage and orange stalk-like legs. Her beak and talons were on the small side, though still serviceable. She stood silently next to the edge of the pen, uncertain what her rougher brethren were doing. She also had one blue eye and one green eye. Kairi loved her.

"That's Yuna," Link said softly. He turned to Yuffie and smiled. "I think you've found your chocobo," he said.

An hour later, the girls and Yuna left the pet shop with twenty pounds of assorted chocobo greens. Yuna also had a new collar, harness, lease, and water bowl. She had gotten a thorough examination from Link before she had become part of Kairi's family. Apparently Link was also a vet, one that specialized in chocobos. She had even seen his doctor's degree; he had gone to Midgar for vet school and had his internship under the great Chocobo Sage. The girls had been told that chocobos could be trained to use the toilet, but until then, they should put down old newspapers. Kairi had suddenly become thankful that Yuffie was too lazy to collect and recycle all of her old newspapers.

**xxx**

Kairi had to drop a report off at work. Even though it was Saturday night and she wasn't due back until Monday morning, Kairi knew Strife wanted it the sooner the better. She left Yuffie, Yuna, and the chocobo supplies outside the law office while she ran inside. It would only take a moment and then they could go home after spending their first afternoon as a family at the boardwalk.

The first thing that Kairi noticed that was weird about the office was that there were two black chocobo in a leather jacket on top of her desk. Then she noticed that the lights were on and Strife's door was ajar. This was all strange. Strife was always extremely meticulous about locking his door.

Kairi put the report in the correct basket and then heard a strange noise. She glanced at the two birds, both asleep, and then crept over to Strife's door. She pushed it open slightly and peeked in. The sight that met her eyes astounded her.

Link's upper body lay across the top of Cloud's desk and he tightly gripped the front edge. Cloud was standing behind Link with his hands on Link's hips. He was thrusting himself into Link. Both men were panting and covered in sweat. Their clothes were strewn about the office floor. Cloud's tie was hanging off of a potted plant.

Kairi shut the door as Cloud started to suck on one of Link's pointed ears. She felt deeply violated, as if she had been the one who had been fucking in her boss's office. She looked back at the to chocobos. Zack had woken up and was glaring at her. He seemed to be admonishing her for peaking in on Cloud and Link.

"Look," Kairi said to the bird, "I didn't mean to see your master and Link have sex. I'm gonna leave now, before they hit their climax."

Kairi hurried back outside to where Yuffie and Yuna were waiting. She wrapped her arms around Yuffie's neck, which nearly caused the older girl to drop Yuna. She then pulled away from Yuffie and picked up the chocobo greens.

"Home. Now. No questions," Kairi said to Yuffie. Yuffie smiled and suddenly Kairi realized again why she loved her girlfriend so much. The surfer led the intern towards home.

"And just so you know," Kairi said as she wrapped an arm around Yuffie, "Cloud Strife is not lonely."

As Kairi climbed into bed next to her lover and her chocobo, a realization hit her. She was going to have to see Cloud on Monday. In his office. _'Oh fuck,_' she though as she ran a hand across her face_, 'What am I gonna do? Do I even tell him?'_

Then Kairi realized another thing as Yuffie pulled her close to spoon. She had all of Sunday to figure out what she should do. _'And things could be worse,'_ Kairi thought sleepily_, 'I only saw my boss have sex with my veterinarian. They didn't do it on my desk.'_ Then Kairi fell asleep.

**xxx**

Monday came sooner than expected and Kairi was nearly late to work. Amazingly, the morning ritual of piling on the workload went as smoothly today as it had every other morning that Kairi had worked for Cloud. The day was just like any other day, although Kairi was nervous and kept making typing errors that she then had to fix.

She had made it through the day with no altercations. Kairi was packing up her things and couldn't wait to see her little Yuna when she got home. Yuffie would turn up sooner or later with dinner or be ready to cook. Kairi's mind had just left work mode when Cloud poked his head out of his office and beckoned her inside.

Kairi came into his office carrying her briefcase. He motioned for her to sit in the empty seat in front of his desk. As Kairi sat, she looked at the fingernail grooves on the front of the desk that Link had left on Saturday. Kairi felt like a deer in the headlights that was about to be hit.

Cloud cleared his throat and looked at her. _'He knows,'_ Kairi though_, 'He knows and he is going to fire me. I'll end up on the streets and have to eat Yuna.'_

"Ms. Hart, Kairi," Cloud said, sounding a little unsure about using her first name. He had never called her Kairi before. "You have been working as an intern for my firm for a month now," he continued.

_'But I'm afraid that your work is not satisfactory and I have to let you go,'_ Kairi thought bitterly.

"You have worked directly under me," Cloud said, "so I have been able to gauge your proficiency and capabilities personally."

"I'm sorry," Kairi said when Cloud paused, "I did not mean to walk in on that. I'm so sorry."

"What?" Cloud asked.

"I didn't mean to walk in on you and Link. If I had any idea what was going on, I wouldn't have dropped off my reports until Sunday," Kairi was beginning to babble, "Don't fire me. I only just got Yuna, I don't wanna have to eat her."

Cloud stared at her for a moment. Then he started to rub his temples and said, "Oh shit."

Kairi stopped and looked at him. This was not the reaction she was expecting. Cloud was suppose to stay calm, hand her a check for two weeks and tell her it was a shame to let her go. Also, if she refused to leave, he would call security and have her forcibly removed from his office. He wasn't suppose to sit there like he had a headache.

"Is there something wrong?" Kairi asked timidly, "Mr. Strife?"

Cloud looked her in the eyes with his mouth quirked into a half smile. "Did you know that you've lasted the longest out of all the interns who have ever worked for me?" He asked.

Kairi stared at him.

"One month," Cloud said, "The longest I've ever had an intern, or hell even a secretary, is three days. They usually run out of this law firm crying and saying that I'm a kamikaze bastard who expects too much and is too strict. I only assign as much work as I did when I was an intern. Is it too much to ask for competency?"

Kairi shook her head.

"I called you in here to congratulate you on lasting a month and to inform you about your pay increase," Cloud said. His smile was gone and he was looking at her again. "Instead of hearing me out you come and cry about being fired and eating someone." He paused as if unsure about how to continue, "and um… me being involved with… Link." There was a moment of uneasy silence.

"He left fingernail marks in your desk," Kairi said helpfully.

Cloud's eyebrows rose. He got up from his chair and leaned over his desk, which reminded Kairi of Saturday night, and examined the damage. He gave a low whistle and sat down again.

"So," Cloud said in a resigned tone, "does this mean you want to quit or blackmail me?"

"Well," Kairi said frankly, "I like my job."

Cloud leaned back. "So how much do you want?" he asked.

"Nothing!" Kairi yelped, "What kind of person do you think I am?"

I spend my time trying to put murders and child molesters behind bars," Cloud said, "either that or make millions for dirt bags out of accident or injury cases. The legal system isn't full of honorable people no matter what anybody says."

"So can we just forget all about it?" Kairi asked hopefully.

Cloud nodded. He then stood up and leaned on his desk. "Congratulations on lasting through your first month at the Strife law firm. May you have many more." Then he offered her his hand. Kairi took it and shook it. "In five years, you'll make a great lawyer," he added.

As she walked out of the office, Cloud called, "I expect you in here at seven."

Over her shoulder Kairi called back teasingly, "Yes boss."

As she walked out of the law firm, Kairi knew she'd be back at seven. She'd be in Cloud Strife's office every day at seven because he expected her to be there. Her internship would be hell, but she'd end up a damn fine lawyer. Cloud couldn't stand and didn't make losers, so the training would be worth it. Kairi would be a lawyer, and a great one at that.

* * *

So yeah I did warn people and I hope you all review.


	4. Bonfires and Surfing Trophies

Metal Chocobo: So I know that some of you want a plot and have been surprised that these chapters have come out so quickly. Well, there's a little bit of a plot in chapters 4 and 5, but beyond that, I have no true plot in this story. That's mainly because I'm lazy and this story is a set of short stories spaced out over time, so I won't get writer's block.

The other thing people should know is that the first six chapters were already written before I even got this account and I've been holding off on posting them all at once because I need to write more chapters. So any suggestions probably won't be incorporated until chapter seven, which I am currently writing.

Sorry that my author's note is so long, at least this is a long chapter.

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own any of Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or the locations within this story.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 4: Bonfires and Surfing Trophies**

"Thank you, thank you all you peoples," Yuffie said happily. She wiped some sweat off her brow and hefted up the trophy. There were many kids crowded in front of her grinning and excited that Yuffie had won the Beside surfing competition.

She squatted down in front of a little boy who was shyly holding out a pen and a piece of paper. Yuffie cheerfully took the things presented. "What's your name little one?" she asked.

"Denzel," he said softly, "My name is Denzel."

"Well there, Denzel," Yuffie said happily, "Let's see… to D E N Z E L, nice to meet you little buddy. Your surfing pal, Yuffie Kisaragi." Then she handed the sheet back. Denzel smiled and faded into the crowd while others pushed forward to get Yuffie's signature.

Yuffie signed fifty or sixty autographs before she made her way over to Rikku and her messenger bag. She traded the trophy for her bag and pulled out her sharpies to sign more autographs. She had signed twenty or thirty more autographs and posed for several pictures before she got a weird offer. Instead of having a blank sheet of paper shoved in her face, Yuffie got one that had writing over it. The note read:

Hey Yuf,

I'm standing at the edge of your mob of fans. When (and if ever) you

finish signing autographs, come find me for dinner. I need to talk to

you about something important to me.

-- Kairi

Yuffie smirked and shoved the paper into her pocket. She signed a few more autographs before she pushed her way through the crowd. Once she was through, Yuffie spied Kairi. The surfer grabbed her girlfriend and dragged her over to where Rikku was waiting in the rental car. Yuffie opened a door to the backseat, threw Kairi, in and jumped in after her. Rikku then drove away.

Yuffie smirked at the red head under her. They were tangled up pretty badly in the backseat thanks to Yuffie's hasty exit. She hoped that Rikku had enough time to strap her board to the roof before they made their retreat. Still, her surfboard wasn't important right now, Kairi was.

"Hey there. good looking," Yuffie purred into Kairi's ear.

"Can you get off of me?" Kairi asked. She grunted, shifted a little, which thrilled Yuffie, and said, "I think your kneecap is in my spleen."

Yuffie sighed and tried to get off Kairi. The girls spent several minutes repositioning themselves into more normal car riding poses. Yuffie had hoped to sweep Kairi off her feet and into an island romance. Although now that she thought about it, Kairi was suppose to be in Tokyo, not here on an island. _'Maybe Kairi wants an island romance,'_ Yuffie thought with a grin.

"So I know this great little sandwich shop," Yuffie said, "where we can get a bite to eat. After that we can head back to my place since there's a jacuzzi."

"A Jacuzzi?" Kairi said giving her a look.

"It's built for two," Yuffie added. She wasn't entirely certain what the look meant, but whatever it was, it couldn't be good for her case.

"Hold it Yuffie," Rikku said from the driver's seat. "We're sharing a room and while I love you dearly, there is no way I'm letting you have sex two feet away from me."

Yuffie glared at Rikku for cramping her style. Still, since Rikku's statement startled a giggle from Kairi, the ninja couldn't be too mad. Yuffie swatted at the blonde, which caused both of her friends to yell about no hitting the driver and she'd cause them to all crash and burn.

That evening Yuffie took a bubble bath in the Jacuzzi. She was keenly watching her girlfriend, in her no nonsense lavender pajamas Yuffie might add, brush her teeth. Yuffie could tell that Kairi was ignoring her nude form in the tub. To try and remedy this problem, the surfer flicked soapsuds at Kairi.

Kairi spit into the sink and turned to face her. "It's not that I don't want to have sex with you," Kairi said. Yuffie waited silently for 'the but'. "But I know that we have to be good parents," she finished.

_'Good parents, what is she talking about?'_ Yuffie thought. Then it hit her, "Oh you brought Yunie!" she exclaimed.

"You didn't notice?" Kairi asked dumbfounded.

Yuffie laughed uneasily and scratched the back of her head. "I've been too busy staring at you."

Kairi looked annoyed. She huffed something about idiot surfer ninja girlfriends not remembering their own children. Then the bathroom door was pushed open and Yuna waddled in. Yuna was their baby; she was a little chocobo with mismatched eyes and a sweet disposition. She had been part of their family for two months now and Kairi was truly considered mommy. Yuffie however was more of a family friend in Yuna's eyes than a parent. Kairi didn't have the heart to explain to their little bird that the reason Yuffie was able to crawl into Kairi's bed was because she was 'daddy' and not 'mommy's best friend.'

"Hey there babe," Kairi said happily. She scooped up the little chocobo and sat down on the edge of the tub. Yuffie gently stroked Yuna's beak.

"By the way, Kairi," Yuffie said causally, "While I love having you here, why are you here?"

"Oh," said Kairi sounding rather embarrassed, "I forgot to tell you."

"Forgot to tell me what?" asked Yuffie.

"That I'm going to my best friend's wedding," Kairi said, "and I was hoping you'd come with me. I mean you have a week or so off, so you can come home with me."

Yuffie could hear eagerness and fear in Kairi's voice. She hated hearing any fear in Kairi, uncertainty was okay since her redhead was the voice of reason and could be uncertain about new experiences, but fear was bad. Yuffie decided to slay her girlfriend's dragon of fear.

"Well I've never gone to a wedding, Squall and Aeris eloped, and I don't have any formal clothing," Yuffie started solemnly and then grinned, "but we've been together for seven months and I moved in with you last month. This wedding is important to you so I'll come. Besides, I've got a week break that I wanted to spend with you anyways."

Kairi smiled happily and gently kissed Yuffie. She brushed a bit of the ninja's black hair behind her ear and said, "Selphie and I can get you some formalwear."

Yuffie grinned at her family. "So either pass me a towel or climb into the tub with me," she said teasingly. Kairi smirked and undid the first button of her pajama top. Yuffie's eyes widened since she didn't think Kairi would take her up on her offer. The redhead tossed a towel onto her girlfriend's face before strolling out of the bathroom.

Apparently Riku had been secretly planning his wedding since he was nine years old. While the plan had changed greatly over the years—once he had wanted a Star Wars wedding—two things always remained the same. Sora was always the bridegroom and Riku always walked down that aisle in a white wedding dress.

"So do you commonly dress in drag?" Yuffie asked.

Sora snorted and soda came out his nose. He started to snicker while Kairi wiped the soda snot off the table. Riku was not amused and glared quite evilly at Yuffie from across the table.

The four youths were sitting in a burger joint on the islands. The girls were on one side and the boys on the other. Sora and Kairi were sitting next to the window and all four were eating dessert.

"No," snapped Riku, "I've never worn a dress, high heels, lipstick, panty hose, or any of that make up crap and I've never wanted to." Riku paused, bit his lip, and his expression softened. "Except for this," he said softly, "I've always wanted to walk down that aisle seeing Sora beaming at me in a black tux from the alter. I want to have Seph give me away and my entire group of friends and family there."

Kairi smiled, "That's so sweet, Riku, you always try to act like a heartless bastard, so it's great to see the real you."

Riku smirked, brushed some of his silver curls out of his eyes, and said, "You only get to wear a wedding dress once in a lifetime, so I thought I'd give it a try. Besides someone is going to be wearing that white dress and the only thing Sora is certain about is that it's not him."

"Damn straight," Sora said with a grin.

"And yet nothing else about this wedding is straight," Kairi said dryly. She tugged on Yuffie's sleeve. "Come on, Yuf," Kairi said, "We need to get you a formal dress. Let's go."

The girls slipped out of the booth and left the burger shop. Kairi said that they were supposed to meet some girl named Selphie. She was going to help Kairi pick out Yuffie's dress. Yuffie had some bad vibes about the entire thing, she liked surfing, not shopping.

"Yellow just isn't her color, Selphie," Kairi said. She turned to the brunette and smiled, "Maybe we should try purple."

Yuffie sighed, this yellow strappy thing was the sixth dress they had tried. That was five too many in Yuffie's opinion, but nobody listened to her. Their reasoning was that Yuffie had the fashion sense of an aardvark, but that didn't matter, she'd be the one stuck wearing whatever evil thing they came up with.

Yuffie and Kairi were standing in the dressing room at the only formal clothing store in the archipelago. It was a small room, there was barely enough room in there for Yuffie. Fitting Kairi into the room to help get her into the dresses was an amazing feat Selphie was in the main part of the store scouting out more potential dresses for Yuffie. The small room had no air conditioning and the ceiling fan was broken, so the ninja was sweating up a storm. Kairi didn't seem bothered by the island's heat.

"The only purple is cover in bows," Selphie called out from the racks, "Will that do?"

Yuffie felt her face twist in disgust. _'Bows are the spawn of… well technically not Satan, but they're still the spawn of something nasty,'_ the ninja thought bitterly. Kairi was helping Yuffie get out of the dress when she caught her reflection. The look on the surfer's face made the redhead giggle.

"Let's not nave any bows or frills, Selphie, I think Yuffie might kill me otherwise," Kairi said with a laugh.

"Maybe we should try something that I'd actually be willing to wear in public," Yuffie growled.

"And what would that be?" Kairi asked smirking. She was enjoying this way too much. She planted a kiss on Yuffie's neck and gave her a quick squeeze.

"Hey what about this?" Selphie asked coming back into the dressing room. She was carrying something black, which meant it was the best thing yet.

With both girls' help, Yuffie was able to struggle into the dress. The dress was tight, it was strapless, hit her in strange places, and Yuffie had no idea what it was made of. Kairi looked rather shell shocked while Selphie was trying not to giggle. She must look like an idiot.

"So sexy," Kairi breathed. Yuffie grinned and wiggled her hips, which caused Selphie to laugh.

"You're not quite right," Selphie laughed, "She still needs lingerie, Kairi. Then your roommate will be a huge boy magnet."

"Great, more shopping," Yuffie grumbled before she was pulled off to pay for the dress and return to the hunt.

"Hey Kairi."

"Yes Yuffie," said Kairi. The redhead shifted so that the black haired girl could crawl into bed with her. They were in Kairi's childhood bedroom. Yuffie still couldn't get over the fact that she had pictures of the Disney princesses plastered over her walls. Kairi said that they were put up when she was a really little kid, but Yuffie was certain that Kairi must have been about fourteen when Mulan came out.

"Does anyone here know that your roommate is gay?" Yuffie asked. She felt angry about being kept a secret. Yuffie hate secrets whenever they weren't hers, "Or that you're dating your gay girl roommate? I suppose you just forgot to mention it to anybody."

Yuffie could feel the other girl's tension. "I've never told anybody I was gay," she said quietly, "I only recently admitted to myself that I really do love you and that I react to women's bodies, not men's."

Yuffie didn't really feel angry anymore after hearing Kairi out, coming out, especially to one self is extremely difficult. Coming out to a family member is really hard too, her own dad had thrown her out of the house when he found out she liked girls and they hadn't spoken in years. She hugged her tight but didn't say anything. Kairi hugged Yuna tightly and Yuffie gently rubbed her side.

"I like girls," Kairi laughed. She sounded like she was about to cry, "My mom's gonna kill me."

"I can't hide what I am," Yuffie said softly, "and I won't lie about it either."

"I know. Everyone should be fine with you, me," Kairi paused, "Us. I mean Riku and Sora are getting married."

"Shall I leave you for breakfast?" asked Yuffie. She figured that a subject change might make her girl feel better. Both girls climbed out of Kairi's small bed, Yuffie figured it was never meant for more than one person.

Kairi nodded, wiped her eyes and pushed Yuffie out of her room. "Mom should be in the kitchen," she said, "Tell her what you want and she'll make it. She'd often make breakfast for me and my friends when I was growing up."

Yuffie found the door shut in her face. _'I wonder if she knows how to make egg rolls?'_ the ninja wondered as she strolled to the kitchen. Yesterday when they arrived, Kairi had given her a tour of the house, so Yuffie knew where everything was. "Hiya Mrs. Hart," Yuffie greeted Kairi's mother.

Kairi's mother straightened and turned to look at Yuffie. In her right hand was a skillet. "Good morning Yuffie," she said pleasantly, "Would you like some bacon?"

"Would I ever," Yuffie said eagerly. She sat down in the nearest chair and giddily waited to be served. Life was good, Yuffie was sitting in her family's family kitchen about to be served breakfast by the woman who would someday be her mother-in-law.

Yuffie bounced eagerly in her seat as Mrs. Hart placed a plate in front of her. Besides the bacon, there were pieces of French toast, waffles, pancakes, and an egg. It was a bonanza of yummy food. _'Food!'_ screamed Yuffie's stomach_, 'Glorious fool!_

Yuffie experimentally picked up a waffle. After looking at it, sniffing it, and giving it a lick, Yuffie stuffed the entire waffle into her mouth. She chewed it happily.

"My god, you're eating like Sora," Kairi exclaimed as she sat down next to Yuffie. The surfer glared at the redhead.

"Why have you hidden this vast knowledge of cookery away from me?" Yuffie sobbed.

"Oh shush," Kairi said and flicked Yuffie in the shoulder, "If I told you, you'd force me to cook all of your meals. Besides, I never learned how… eww is that bacon?" Kairi scrunched up her nose in disgust.

"I thought you loved bacon?" Mrs. Hart said surprised.

"Last couple of months, Kairi hasn't been willing to allow pig anywhere hear her," Yuffie said while munching on the bacon, "She says it makes her physically ill."

Mrs. Hart's eyebrows narrowed, for a moment, then they widened in surprise. "Kairi Violet Hart," she thundered, "are you pregnant?"

Kairi choked on her toast. Yuffie squirted orange juice out her nose because she was laughing so hard. Kairi was coughing, spluttering, and turning red. Yuffie ended up having to perform the Heimlich maneuver. After coughing out her breakfast, Kairi was able to splutter out, "W-what?"

"You really are too young," admonished Mrs. Hart, "But if Sora is getting married at seventeen, you can have a baby at eighteen." She grinned eagerly, "So who's the daddy?"

Kairi's mouth opened and shut a few times, but no sound came out. She was speechless. Yuffie managed to quell her giggles and then covertly wrapped an arm around Kairi's waist.

"Why didn't you tell me we're gonna be parents?" she teased.

"We're not. I'm not," she looked at Yuffie imploringly.

Yuffie figured she should come to the rescue now, "Actually, Mrs. Hart, I know Kairi isn't pregnant," she said with a smile.

"How so?" asked Mrs. Hart, "Her nose is more sensitive than normal and I think her breasts are engorged. Both signs of pregnancy."

"Mom!" screeched Kairi.

"That may be the case, but I know that Kairi has never slept with a man since she moved to Tokyo over six months ago," Yuffie said, "I live with her, I should know."

"Mom," hissed Kairi and she glared at Yuffie, "Can we please have a normal breakfast?"

"Well okay," said Mrs. Hart sounding rather put out. The three of them finished eating in silence. Yuffie finished her breakfast after eating a pancake and two eggs shy of Sora's record

Yuffie rode her board until it slid to a stop in the sand. Kairi, Selphie, and two boys she didn't recognize ran up to her. Selphie jumped on her while Kairi gave her a quick hug. They were all hanging out on a small island just off the shore of the main island. It was a favorite hang out of Kairi and her friends, so Yuffie had to see it.

"That was so f-ing awesome I can't believe you surfed like that, that was so cool I think you're better than Riku," babbled the dirty blonde boy.

"You were great, ya," said the other boy. His red hair looked like a cow had licked it.

Selphie looked like an octopus the way her limbs were wrapped around the blond. "This is Tidus," she said happily, "He's my boyfriend. That's Wakka," Selphie then added nearly pointed out Tidus's eye when she pointed to Wakka.

"Those were some amazing moves, man, where did ya learn them?" Wakka asked as she scratched his nose.

"Long hours of practice," Yuffie said with a laugh, "I've been surfing since I was five and I've gotten really good."

"She's a pro," Kairi said shyly, "I mean the only reason Yuffie is able to be here for the wedding with me is because there's a break in the surfing competition circuit."

"Wow," Tidus breathed at the thought of such greatness. Then he blinked and asked, "How did you two meet anyways?"

"In the Blender Accident," Yuffie said calmly, "We live together now."

"Cool," Wakka wriggled his eyebrows at Yuffie and tossed his ball at Kairi, "You birds ready da play some blitzball, ya?"

The girls' affirmatives overshadowed Tidus's squawked at the gender slight. The five played blitzball both on land and under water until it was too dark to see. Sometime between Wakka being beamed on the head with his ball and Kairi swallowing a fish, Riku and Sora showed up to play. Now the moon was out and the group was sitting around a bonfire.

They had made the bonfire in the center of the beach. Wakka and Riku had carried over three logs for the group to sit on while Tidus and Sora found kindling. Yuffie found it surprising, that Selphie was the one to light the fire.

Sora and Riku were sitting on one log, Selphie and Tidus sat on another, and the other three sat on the third. Yuffie was a little uneasy about the seating arrangements on her log, she was in the middle and Wakka was smashed right up next to her. He also had his arm around her.

"Let's tell ghost stories," Sora said eagerly.

"Shouldn't we be talking about your impending marriage instead?" asked Kairi.

"Yeah," added Tidus, "Marriage is scarier than any ghost story." Multiple people hit Tidus. He rubbed the back of his head as he winced slightly.

"So what do you guys feel about getting married?" Yuffie asked as she leaned forward to try and rid herself of Wakka's arm. It didn't really work out, his arm was still there, only now his hand was resting in the small of her back.

"I'm excited," Sora said, "I can't wait to be Mrs. Riku Jenova."

"Wait a minute, you want to be Mrs. Riku Jenova?" asked Riku, "I want to be Mrs. Sora Harada."

"Really?" Sora asked surprised.

"No," Riku scoffed, "I think it's stupid to take on anybody's name. Besides you'd be a 'Mr.', not a 'Mrs.' And when someone called for a 'Mr. Riku Jenova' we wouldn't know who was being called."

"Oh," Sora said. There was silence for a moment before he added, "My mom thinks we're too young to get married since I'm seventeen and Riku's eighteen. She thinks our marriage won't last."

"Hey, my friend Squall got married at seventeen," Yuffie said brightly, "and he's been married for four years now. Yours will last."

"That's cool," Selphie said, "Are they still in love?" Yuffie nodded.

They stayed on the island for several more hours before they returned to the big island. Riku escorted Sora to his house before walking Kairi and Yuffie home. All three teens headed into the Hart family guest room where Yuffie was staying. Riku wanted to hang out a bit more before he went home.

"So yeah, that's why Sora and I aren't spending the night together," Riku finished. Yuffie found that all the crazy Destiny Island superstitions were really unusual and the wedding ones were especially weird. Apparently, if the bride and the groom spent their wedding dawn together, their marriage would be an unhappy one and the bride or the groom would end up committing suicide. These were good things to know if Yuffie every decided to ask Kairi for her hand. She really didn't want either of them offing themselves, or anyone else for that matter.

"Oh gees, I've been amiss in my duties as hostess. So do you guys want something to drink?" Kairi asked.

"Pop would be great," Riku said with a smirk.

"Sure," Yuffie said brightly, "Whatever's fine."

Kairi nodded and then left for the drinks. As Kairi left the room, Yuna waddled in. The chocobo toddled up and warked demandingly at Yuffie.

"Does my big girl want to be picked up?" Yuffie cooed. She picked up the bird and gently stroked Yuna's beak.

"How long have you had the chocobo?" asked Riku.

"We've had her for two months," Yuffie said happily.

Riku smiled pleasantly before his eyes narrowed. "How long have you been sleeping with Kairi?" asked Riku.

Yuffie's head snapped up. "What?" she asked surprised.

"Don't act dumb with me," snapped Riku, "You two are constantly teasing, flirting, and touching each other. The constant touching, your secret jokes, and using the 'we' word those are all couple indicators. Kairi is like a little sister to me, so what are your intentions toward her? Because I swear if you hurt her, I will kill you."

"I… ah," Yuffie stumbled, "Seven months, we've been dating for seven months. We've been having sex for three months, but dating for seven and living together for one, but I mean I met her over a year ago and I love her, I really do and she's gonna kill me when she finds out I told you any of this."

Riku stared at Yuffie looking rather stunned. Once again Yuffie's tongue and had managed to run someone over and leave them stunned and disoriented. Yuffie cringed, it would be just her luck if she had just caused the bride to go brain dead.

"This is our baby," Yuffie said feebly as she waved Yuna about.

Kairi came into the room carrying three cans of pop. She looked from one to the other several times before she sat down next to Yuffie on the bed. Kairi handed out pop to her friends and then gave Yuffie a look.

"Hi babe," Yuffie said weakly. She wiggled her fingers limply in greeting.

Yuffie's tone and action told Kairi everything she needed to know. "You told him," accused Kairi, "how could you, Yuffie?"

"He threatened to kill me," Yuffie protested. She gave Kairi doe-eyes, "Honest."

"Kairi you bad girl, sleeping with your roommate," admonished Riku, "and an older woman too."

"Shove it Riku," snapped Kairi. When he tried to protest, Kairi silenced him with a glare. Kairi gave Yuffie a look. "My mom is going to kill me if she finds out I'm gay," Kairi said, "She demands grandchildren in exchange for college tuition. Yuna may be our baby, but she won't cut it for mom. She wants human one."

"You know this gay Kairi thing does explain one thing," Riku said.

"What?" asked Yuffie.

"Why Kairi wasn't mad when Sora and I told her that we weren't fighting over her, but rather each other," Riku smirked, "She didn't really want either of us to win."

"Actually," Yuffie said, "I told Kairi about you two and she was really mad."

"What?" Riku said surprised, "When did this happen?"

"The same time we had the Blender Accident," Kairi said, "I'll tell you about it some other day. Now go home Riku Jenova, your maid of honor needs her beauty sleep."

Riku looked annoyed, but then smirked, bowed, and left. Kairi smiled and then whispered her good nights into Yuffie's ear. Yuffie pulled her in for a kiss. Instead of going back to her own room, Kairi spent the night in the guest room.

Yuffie woke up to see a forty-year-old Kairi in her face. Yuffie did a very non-Great Ninja Yuffie thing, she screamed. The normal Kairi was jolted awaked and hit her head on the old Kairi's chin. She then grabbed the terrified Yuffie.

"Yuffie, Yuffie, what's wrong?" asked the worried redhead. She gently stroked the ninja surfer's cheek.

"I just woke up to have you…" Yuffie's mind finally clocked into work, "err… your mom in my face. I wasn't expecting that and it… umm, well it scared me," she finished lamely.

"Young lady, can you explain why you're in bed with your roommate?" asked Mrs. Hart. She was giving the two a hard look and Yuffie realized where Kairi got 'the look' from.

"Well this is as good a time as any," Yuffie said softly to Kairi. She wrapped an arm around her girlfriend's waist to offer her some support.

"Well umm," Kairi's normally powerful lawyer voice was soft, stuttering, and slow, "Mom I … ahh I won't be having kids."

"Wait a minute, I want kids," Yuffie said breaking the seriousness of the moment.

Kairi glared at her. "Yeah, well unless you develop some testicles, we aren't likely to have any," she said.

"We can have artificial insemination," Yuffie said burying her nose in Kairi's hair.

"Kairi, are you a lesbian?" squeaked her mother.

"Yeah, well… Sora and Riku aren't the only gay ones," Kairi said sounding rather embarrassed as she rubbed the back of her head.

Mrs. Hart grabbed Yuffie by the arm and dragged her out of bed. Yuffie's arm was in such a tight vice that she was certain that she would have permanent scarring. She was dragged into the living room. When she was thrown onto the couch, the furniture nearly tipped over. _'Thank god I wore pajamas,'_ she thought. Having Mrs. Hart's glare focused on her naked body would have been too much to take.

"Now you have ten seconds to explain why you think you can date my daughter," growled Mrs. Hart.

"Shit, umm shit," mumbled Yuffie as she panicked.

"Eight," said Mrs. Hart as she glared evilly.

"I'm nice, I surf," Yuffie said, "Professionally, I surf professionally."

"Five."

"I have two years of college," Yuffie said desperately, "Tokyo U."

"Three."

"I love her."

"Two."

"We have a chocobo together!" Yuffie held up her arms to protect herself from the mother's wrath, "Don't kill me!"

Leave her alone mom," Kairi yelped as she leaped onto the couch next to Yuffie. She wrapped her arms around Yuffie's shoulders. "I love her and you can't kill my girlfriend!"

"How many years of college do you plan to get?" snapped Mrs. Hart.

"Only the two," Yuffie said and then added, "Since I've gone pro in surfing, I don't have time for college."

"Do you have any other job or abilities besides surfing?" she asked pleasantly.

"Well," Yuffie started, "Technically no, but as a pro I'm doing sports stuff ads and travel about for competitions and events. Some would be charities, but I'd be paid for most. Oh and I can make a mean pancake."

"So this means that you aren't home much."

"I guess so," Yuffie said scratching her chin.

Mrs. Hart turned to her daughter, "You want to make an immature, slacker idiot college dropout who has no real job and won't be home most of the time as your mate. Kairi have you given any thought to what you're doing?"

"If Yuffie were a man, you'd be delighted," the redhead raged, "You'd say, two years of college, great. A professional athlete, wonderful. Immaturity would be boyish charm and you would call him laid back and street smart instead of a slacker or idiotic."

"Calm down Kairi," Yuffie said gently.

Kairi turned and looked at her. Yuffie could see that she felt hurt. "It's not okay, Yuffie, I- I was stupid not wanting to tell anybody about you, but mom can't just insult you like that," Kairi said angrily, "After the wedding I'll pack up my stuff and ship it home so I won't bother you anymore, mother."

Kairi got up and dragged Yuffie back to her bedroom. Once inside she shut and locked the door. Kairi sorted her things into what she wanted and didn't want. Yuffie needed to say something, but didn't want to unleash hurricane Kairi's wrath.

"Babe," she started, "I think you're blowing things out of proportion. A lot of parents are mad when their kids first come out and a lot of parents dislike their kid's dates. In both cases they usually get over it and come to like, or at least tolerate, their offspring's choices. Don't toss away your relationship with your mom just yet. Besides, she took the gay girlfriend a lot better than many parents would. She didn't say that I corrupted you or anything right? She likes me better than my dad would have liked you."

Kairi gave her a mournful smile. "I think I blew it out there," she said, "I should have stayed calm and just talked her out of trying to kill you instead of getting all bitchy and moral. Well, at least this gives me a chance to send my roller blades and comic books back home."

Yuffie grinned at Kairi. "Do you have any Batman? I love Batman," she asked.

"No," Kairi said. There was a moment of silence before Kairi said in a realived tone, "Thank god you didn't mention your klepto tendencies. That would have gone over really well."

Both girls snickered at the imagined look on Mrs. Hart's face when she added convicted convict to her list of Yuffie's faults. Yuffie stopped laughing first and smiled gently at Kairi. "Hey," she said, "I'm gonna need lots of help getting into that dress and all the other crap. We'd better get going huh?"

Kairi smiled, but shook her head. She took the hanger with Yuffie's dress and handed it to her. "We're going to Riku's," she said, "We can't put your dress on now if we're climbing down my tree."

Yuffie blinked. "Wait a minute, why are we climbing down the tree?" she asked.

"Because I don't want to face my parents," she said, "Can you imagine my mom attacking you with a butcher knife if we went out the front door?"

Yuffie flinched. she could easily see Mrs. Hart chopping her up for ninja stew. When she opened her eyes again, she saw Kairi halfway out the window and onto the big tree.

"Hand me Yuna," Kairi said simply, "Then come down after me."

"What do I do with this?" Yuffie asked as she waved the dress gently.

The redhead was silent for a moment. "Fold it over your arm," Kairi said. She took Yuna from Yuffie and then added, "oh, and grab some heels from my closet. The black ones. Stuff them down your shirt front for the climb."

Yuffie mutely searched the closet for the black heels. When she found them, she tucked them down the pajama front. She flipped the dress in its plastic cover over her arm and climbed down the tree. Yuffie had been surprised to see that the black heels were only heels in the closet since she wore heels every day for work at home.

"How did you learn to sneak out like that?" asked Yuffie.

Kairi grinned and wrapped her free arm around Yuffie. "There are maybe eight hundred people on this island and maybe three hundred on the surrounding ones," she started, "We have our entire school system for all of the Destiny Islands in one building. All K through twelve. The only movie theater is just one theater, no multiple theaters in one building, just one theater. We, my friend, are in the boondocks."

Yuffie laughed, "So what does this have to do with you being the next Houdini?"

"What else is there to do besides sneak out and drink beer with your buddies?" Kairi asked. She grinned and added, "Come on, let's go wake up Riku. He's the one who has my dress and I bet you want to see it."

Yuffie looked at her shrewdly, "Are you certain he doesn't do drag?" Kairi laughed and Kairi locked fingers with Yuffie. The girls ran toward the Jenova house while the sun rose and the wild chocobos started to sing.

* * *

Reviews are always loved, so it would be great if people would take the time to write one. 


	5. An Island Wedding

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own any of Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or the locations within this story.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 5: An Island Wedding**

Fourteen months ago, Kairi could honestly say she had never met a homosexual. Then she met Yuffie and everything changed. She got her first kiss from a girl and found out that her two best friends, boy friends, were in love with each other. Eleven months ago she had moved to Tokyo for her last year of high school so she could try and find the crazy lesbian she had met that summer. Seven months ago she had started to date Yuffie. Five months ago she had found out her male friends were getting married. Three months ago she had sex for the first time. Two months ago she got her first pet. One month ago Yuffie moved in with her. Three hours ago her mother found out she was gay.

_'And three seconds ago Riku got cold feet,'_ Kairi thought a little annoyed. Yes, she felt sorry for Riku, marriage was a scary thing, but really everyone knew that Riku and Sora were madly in love so why worry about the marriage.

"I can't do it Kai," Riku mumbled from between his arms. He had taken off his high heels, but otherwise he was still in his wedding garb. Riku had also climbed under a table and had pulled his knees to his chest.

Kairi sighed and climbed under the table next to him. Boys were all really insecure idiots, even the gay ones. _'Especially the gay ones,'_ she thought as she rubbed Riku's back. "Why can't you get married, Riku? Everything's perfect, this is your dream wedding," Kairi said.

"That's just it, everything is just perfect," Riku said waving a manicured nail. Kairi wasn't following his logic and she told him that. "Everyone knows that the more perfect the wedding, the shorter the marriage," Riku said, "It's Murphy's law or something. I love Sora, I couldn't bear to lose him after only a few months."

"I've never heard such utter crap," Kairi said angrily, "You're going to leave Sora, precious little Sora, at the alter because you're worried that the marriage won't last? You'll break his heart. If you don't want the wedding to go perfectly, let some of the anti-gay people in to shout 'I object' when the minister says 'does anyone object to this man and this man being joined in holy matrimony?'. Or if you really want, I can talk Yuffie into stripping down at the wedding reception to act as some bad luck."

Riku looked rather stunned at Kairi's outburst. Some of his make up had run because he had been crying. He tried to say something, but Kairi cut him off again.

"Now you Riku Kinsley Jenova are going to happily walk down that aisle with Sephiroth on your arm because you planned it that way. I will carry your train and you will say your wedding vows to Sora. You two will kiss, go to the wedding reception, Yuffie will strip if need be, and you will go on your honeymoon to have lots of sweaty gay sex. Then you will come home to the islands and have many wonderful years of matrimony. Is that understood?" Kairi finished as she dared Riku to object.

Riku timidly nodded. This was the first time in all of Kairi's seventeen years that she had seen Riku speechless and following orders without objection. Kairi snorted and then climbed out from under the table. She smiled at the bride and offered him her hand. She clumsily pulled her best friend out from under the table and nearly fell over herself thanks to the tacky bridesmaid gown.

"Let me fix your make up, Riku," Kairi said calmly. Riku bent down so Kairi could reapply the make up. When she was finished, he slipped the heels back on and took Sephiroth's arm. Kairi picked up his train and waited for the brothers to lead the way.

Riku really did make a beautiful bride. Despite the fact he had football-sized muscles, they weren't noticeable in the dress. His make up, hair, and veil turned his face into that of a lovely maiden's. With the high heels he was even taller than his six-foot-one brother.

The wedding dress had intricate lace patterns interwoven all along the bodice and arms. The same pattern was on the veil and was suppose to be vines and leaves. The skirt was long and flowing, which was why Kairi had a train to carry.

Sora made a great blushing groom in the black tux. Normally Sora was a head shorted than Riku, but now he was at least two. His hair was as messy as ever and he looked like he was twelve instead of seventeen. He was grinning like an idiot, but at least the tuxedo fit. There were large yellow shoes on his feet. Despite all of this, Sora made a good groom.

Kairi grinned because she could see that any fear either boy had vanished the moment they laid eyes on each other. When Riku reached the alter, Sephiroth guided Riku up onto it and then moved to stand next to the organ. Riku handed his bouquet of orchids to Selphie and listened to the minister. Kairi moved to stand next to Sephiroth.

She saw Yuffie sitting in one of the two front pews with her parents. This surprised her since when she had last seen her mom, she had wanted to kill Yuffie. Yuffie gave her a big grin, which she smiled back at. "I love you," she whispered quietly.

When it was time for Sora to say his vows, he had to be prompted three times before he realized what was going on. He had been too busy staring at Riku. The vows he gave were the usual ones, only he had managed to include sword fights and rights to the last slice of pizza in it. Riku's vows included the love and honor, through sickness and n health too, but his also said that Sora was to stay the hell away from his espresso machine.

Kairi tried not to laugh when it came time for the kiss. Since the two boys were at such different heights, Sora needed something to stand on. The brunette would have used some bibles, but the priest threw a fit when Sora stepped on them. Kairi distinctly heard Yuffie's cackle while the priest berated poor Sora. Tidus and Wakka acted as good best men and ended up picking up Sora so that the boys could kiss.

Sora and Riku were now Mr. and Mrs. Jenova; or rather Mr. Jenova and Mr. Harada since Riku said he'd take Sora's name if he insisted on taking his to defeat the entire purpose of the name change (Sora kept his own name). The two ran down the aisle and the entire wedding party stood for photos in front of the church. Kairi felt the best picture in the bunch was Riku, Sora and herself when they all had their arms slinged around each other like they used to do.

Kairi shut the limo door for her two favorite people. The newlyweds always took a lap around the island right after their marriage. The earliest weddings ended up with the bride and groom being carried on the shoulders of their comrades. Kairi was pretty glad that the fashion had turned to using the island's only limo instead.

Kairi managed to talk her former boss Irvine into giving her a piggyback ride to city hall, while Selphie caught a ride from Tidus. The bridesmaid dresses that she and Selphie had to wear were monstrous. They were these raspberry colored dresses with ankle long skirts that allowed the wearer to take steps three inches apart. The edge of the bottom of the dress that covered her bare feet looked rather like fins. The dresses had silver, scaly like trim. Selphie said, and Kairi had to agree with her, that they looked like badly skinned salmon. The only good thing about the dress was that she didn't have to wear high heels in it, although Selphie didn't think that was a good thing. Normally Riku had excellent taste, but she had to figure, he chose the crappy looking bridesmaid dresses, to see what he could get away with forcing them to wear on his wedding day.

The first thing she did after thanking Irvine for the ride was to check to see if her wedding gift was there. Yuffie was supposed to drop off their present, but she wasn't the most reliable person, so Kairi had to check. Since the gift was in the right place, she was able to enjoy the party. Kairi couldn't get anywhere near Yuffie because so many of her island friends were mobbing her to find out what life in 'the big city' was like. Yuffie didn't seem to be missing her however, Wakka seemed more than capable to entertain her.

After Riku and Sora arrived, they had the first dance of the evening all to themselves. After that, the bride got the traditional dance with her father, or in this case, Riku danced with his big brother. Kairi decided that this was the time for the maid of honor to claim her dance with the groom. Sora was more than happy to comply and during the dance he promised to send her a postcard from the honeymoon. After dancing with Sora, Kairi repaid Irvine for the piggyback ride by giving him her second dance.

When she finally managed to get a dance with Riku, Kairi asked, "So do I need Yuffie to get up on a chair with a lampshade on her head and start a strip tease?"

A burst of laughter escaped Riku. "What?" he said.

"You were worried that you needed something to go wrong and I promised to get Yuffie to strip if need be," Kairi said with a grin.

"No, I don't need your girlfriend to strip," Riku said, "I wouldn't want to see her naked. I might start bleeding from my eyes."

Kairi hit him lightly. "You wouldn't know a good-looking woman's body if it cam up and bit you in the ass," she said. Riku smirked at her statement, "Although it might be a good idea to keep her from getting drunk."

"Why?" asked Riku.

"About three weeks after we started dating, New Years rolled around," Kairi said, "She and a couple others got incredibly drunk. They then believed that they were too hot for clothes, so they stripped and ran outside to make snow angels."

"Are you serious?" asked Riku, "that sounds like something Sora or I might do."

"It took Two-K and me twenty minutes to herd Yuffie back inside. Axel took even longer and nearly lost a testicle to hypothermia," Kairi said dryly. Riku winced. Kairi smirked, "Anyway, the moral of the story is do not let Yuffie get drunk."

"Then you may want to rescue her from Wakka," Riku said. Kairi looked at him questioningly. "He's been trying his charm on her since Selphie introduced them and I think she's a little sick of him," he said, "I think she's had about four glasses of the spiked punch since he located her. It is your duty Kairi Hart to keep Yuffie from stripping at my wedding. Do you accept this mission?"

"Yep, she's my guest, so I don't want her making a fool of herself," Kairi said before leaving Riku.

Kairi got about ten feet away before she decided on how to greet her girlfriend. Before she could voice her words, another person did it for her.

"Hey there sexy," came a voice.

Yuffie grinned and stopped dancing, "Hey there, Two-K," Yuffie called.

Kairi observed Rikku stroll across the dance floor toward Yuffie and Wakka. She was feeling a little jealous of Rikku right now because she actually looked good. Rikku had on a dark green blouse and some leather trousers. She also had a leather jacket thrown over her shoulder.

When she reached Yuffie and Wakka, Rikku trailed her fingers over Wakka's bicep. "Who's the sexy stud?" she asked, "Don't tell me you're batting for both teams now, Yuffie, I have enough competition as it is."

"Huh?" Wakka asked confused.

"I thought you were with Gippal," Yuffie said.

"I am, but I though I'd check up on you. I'd go to the wedding, keep an eye on you, and see some single men. Good plan, huh?" Rikku said. It almost sounded like she was not only flirting with Wakka, but with Yuffie too. Kairi figured it was time for her to step in and claim her girl.

"Hey," Kairi said grabbing onto Yuffie's arm. "I've gotten a dance from the groom and one from the bride. Now I want one from you," she finished

"Well I'm more than willing to comply," Yuffie then grinned and wrapped an arm around Kairi's waist.

Kairi called over her shoulder as Yuffie led her back onto the dance floor, "Rikku, this is Wakka, Wakka Rikku. I'm certain that you can entertain each other while I'm busy."

Yuffie led Kairi onto the dance floor and started to slow dance. The dark haired girl slid her hands onto the redhead's hips. Kairi's fingers interlocked around the back of her partner's neck. Normally Kairi was a little taller than Yuffie, but Yuffie had heels while she didn't, so she was looking up into the ninja's eyes.

"Riku asked that you refrain from stripping," Kairi said as she tickled Yuffie behind the ear.

"What?" asked Yuffie as she laughed.

"I told him about New Year's," Kairi said.

"Oh god," Yuffie said as a blush crept onto her face, "You know I don't usually take off my clothes when I drink too much."

"Oh damn," Kairi said sadly as she snapped her fingers, "and I was so hoping you'd give me a performance."

Grins developed on both of the girls' faces as they tried not to giggle. Yuffie took one of her hands off of Kairi's waist and gently stroked her cheek. Yuffie's grin faded into a timid smile before she leaned down and gave Kairi a chaste kiss.

Sora gasped, Riku smirked, Wakka spluttered, and Tidus's tongue hit the floor. Tidus then received a sharp blow to the head from Selphie, which caused him to howl. Rikku also gave a cheer as she saw her favorite couple kissing. Sephiroth snorted and turned back to talking to Irvine, who hadn't noticed anything.

Kairi and Yuffie noticed none of this commotion; they were too wrapped up in each other. They spent the rest of the evening dancing and making out. They even missed out on when Sora opened their wedding gift, which was a lava lamp.

* * *

So, I would love it if people would submit reviews of any sort.


	6. Computer Woes

MC: Hey there everybody. I just wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to read my story and to then review it. Thank you to the several people who favorited this story, it made me really happy to see that. Now on with chapter six, the last of the chapters written before I made my account.

DISCLAIMER: Sadly I do not own any of Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or the locations within this story. /font

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 6: Computer Woes**

"She threw me out!"

"Calm down, Yuffie, I'm certain—"

"Over milk! Can you believe that? Milk, Aeris, milk! Me and Yunie both!" wailed Yuffie. She was standing in a phone booth that smelled strongly of urine while holding a mini chocobo under her arm.

Aeris sighed, it sounded staticy over the bad connection. "Can you tell me what happened?" she asked.

"Hold on," Yuffie said. She juggled the phone and Yunie while she pulled some money out of her pocket. She added a few gil and munny to the machine, although she wasn't certain which the phone took. _'That's the problem with two money systems,'_ Yuffie thought_, 'I can never remember which one is needed for what. Kairi always kept track for me. Oh God, Kairi!'_ She sniffed, repressed the urge to wail and continued, "She sent me to buy milk and I knew she was busy and wouldn't eat well, so I got her easy food stuffs to put around her and I was so busy finding her food that I forgot the milk. So she said that I had the maturity of a three-year-old and threw me and Yunie out!"

""This doesn't sound like Kairi," Aeris said slowly, "Is she under any undue stress?"

"She's been like a werewolf or something and acting all weird. Things titled, 'the Metaphysical Reform of Justice in Ronso Society' are all over the apartment and Yunie was nearly killed by a textbook avalanche. Just because I stepped in her laptop, which by the way was under some papers about the mating habits of the wild Luca Moogle, she completely blew up and ordered me out to get milk."

"Do you think that any of her anger might be connected to the fact that finals and all her papers for the end of term are due next week? Or the fact that she keeps all of her papers, notes, and schoolwork on her laptop?" Aeris asked gently.

Yuffie's mind blanked. She dropped everything, which included Yuna, and wailed, "It's my fault that Kairi's gonna fail all of her classes and drop out of college! She's gonna kill me!"

"Yuffie, Yuffie, calm down!" came Aeris's voice from the swinging phone end.

Yuffie grabbed the phone again and pulled it close to her ear. "What should I do, Aeris? How can I fix things and stop Kairi from being mad at me?" she asked desperately.

"Well the first thing you should is," Aeris started. Yuffie listened eagerly. But instead of Aeris's calm sweet voice of reason giving her sagely advice, Yuffie heard a metallic voice telling her that she was out of time and thank you for using this phone service.

Yuffie frantically searched through her pockets. While she found her keys and a lollypop, there was no money. _'I shouldn't have bought those gummy worms,'_ she thought sadly.

"Come on Yunie," Yuffie said quietly as she gently picked up the bird, "Kairi's mad at us so we can't go home tonight."

Yuna warked sadly and the two girls walked out of the phone booth and into the rain. Yuffie cuddled the chocobo close to her chest under her leather jacket. She figured if she kept the bird hidden, she could bring Yuna on the train. The ninja also knew that wet bird smelt horrible and she couldn't deal with that on top of everything else.

Yuffie leapt onto the roof of one of Twilight Town's trains. While sometimes she missed Tokyo, she liked a lot of things about Twilight Town, which included being able to snag free rides on the roof. She hopped off in the market district about a block away from 7th Heaven.

7th Heaven was a bar. This was its fourth home after being located in Nebuhalem, Midgar, and a small town called the Edge. Tifa Lockhart was its owner and an old friend of Yuffie's from when she was in high school. If anyone in Twilight Town would give her a place to crash until Kairi took her back, Tifa would.

She walked into the bar and shook like a wet dog. She unzipped her jacket and let Yuna out. The chocobo popped her head out of the partly opened jacket and warked happily at the fresh air. Tifa was in the middle of filling a beer mug when she saw Yuffie. She stared at the yellow fluff ball sticking out of the ninja's shirtfront until some of the beer spilt onto her hands.

Tifa dropped the bar pull and jumped over the counter to get to her. She grabbed Yuffie roughly by the shoulders. "Yuffie," she hissed, "Get that thing," she glanced down toward Yuffie's chest, "out of here."

Yuffie was outraged. "Yunie isn't a thing!" she said angrily.

"Fine, fine," Tifa said as she glanced around. "I can't have a bird in the bar. It's against policy. We have to get you two out of here."

"Can I sleep with you?" asked Yuffie.

"What?" Tifa said as her attention snapped back to Yuffie.

_'Oh crap,'_ thought Yuffie. "What I meant was can I spend the night on your couch?" asked Yuffie as she blushed from her mistake.

"Well sure you can sleep on my couch," she gave Yuffie a sideways glance, "but I'm not sleeping with you."

"I don't want you to!" yelped Yuffie as she clutched Yuna.

Tifa's eyebrows rose. "And why not?" she asked teasingly with her hands on her hips.

"Because I have a girlfriend," Yuffie said proudly. Then her demeanor changed to defeat when she added, "Who is currently really mad at me and threw me out."

Tifa's expression softened. She sent Yuffie up to her apartment to settle Yuna for the night. Yuffie put her on the seat of the armchair. Yuffie then returned to sit at the counter and keep Tifa company. Yuffie told Tifa all about Kairi; how they met, her major, her likes and dislikes. Finally they got onto the subject of how Yuffie became homeless tonight.

"So let me get this straight," Tifa said as she locked the windows, "During the last week before all the test and papers are due, you step on her computer which contains all of her notes and term paper stuff."

Yuffie nodded meekly.

"Then Kairi freaks out and sends you out for milk to give herself some time to cool down. Only you come back too soon without said milk, so she kicks you out," Tifa says brushing some hair out of her face.

"Yes," whispered Yuffie.

"So you now want to make amends?"

"Yes!" whined Yuffie as she pulled on her hair, "It's only been about twelve hours and I miss her worse than when I'm out competing! I hate Kairi being mad at me and I want her back!"

"Chill out," Tifa said. Yuffie noticed she was wearing a look that said you wee acting like an idiot. "It's simple, Yuffie," she said, "all you have to do is atone for your sins."

"Huh? So I have to convert to Christianity and become a Catholic?" asked a confused Yuffie.

"No," growled Tifa, "You have to atone for your sins against Kairi."

"But how do I do that?" whined Yuffie, "She doesn't give a damn about religion."

Tifa held up her left hand. "You broke her computer," she said before lifting up her other hand, "You fix it." She slapped her hands together to make a large noise. "Capice?" she asked.

Yuffie stared at Tifa for a moment. Tifa stared back. A smile started to spread on Tifa's face when Yuffie wailed, "I don't know how to fix a computer!"

Tifa ran a hand across her face and sighed. "That's why you hire some bloke to do it for you," she said and continued before Yuffie could protest, "You are a surfing star. You make millions in a year. You can easily pay for a data retrieval and buy Kiri a new computer. Don't ask me how to get her laptop because I don't know. I suppose you could steal it, you are pretty good at swiping things, but I have no idea how you'd go about doing that. Now, time for bed."

Both girls went behind the counter and through the 'employees only' door. Yuffie followed Tifa up the stairs and into her apartment. The ninja waited while the brunette put a sheet on the couch. She received pillow and blanket before she cuddled up to the couch. Yuna insisted on climbing into the couch with Yuffie, so she used the chocobo as a teddy bear. While Tifa's couch was better than a lot of places Yuffie had slept it, she missed her bedroom with its soft warm bed, cuddly warm girlfriend, and stupid paopu-print curtains.

Yuffie was up the next morning with a belly full of bacon and a mission on her mind. It was seven am on a Thursday morning. Kairi's first class wasn't until ten and she wouldn't wake up until nine. Yuffie, the Great Ninja Yuffie was confident she could get in and out with the laptop and never wake up Kairi.

_'I am a stealthy ninja,'_ she thoughtas the wind tugged at her headband. She was riding on the roof of the train again. Yuffie figured she should bum all the rides she could get since she was about to shell out two thousand bucks on a bunch of metal and plastic. _'Why should computers be so expensive anyway?'_ she grumbled_, 'They're just a plastic box with some wires and green boards. I could buy—ooh cinnamon buns—buy that crap for six fifty at the junkyard.'_

When the train reached her stop, Yuffie leapt onto the bridge because the train didn't actually stop anywhere near her apartment. She checked her watch and found that she still had over an hour to get in and out. Yuffie went into her building, climbed the stairs, and unlocked her door.

The ninja crept into the apartment. Her girlfriend was passed out at the kitchen table. Some of Kairi's red locks were in a bowl of soggy cornflakes. The ninja made no noise as she assessed the situation, although she knew Kairi would be pissed about the milk-hair. She slunk through the kitchen and swam through the sea of papers, textbooks, and the occasional caffeine-emptied container.

The computer was nowhere to be seen. Yuffie snuck into the bedroom and changed her clothes. As per her usual habit, she stuffed the dirty ones under the bed. Suddenly her ninja ears twitched, she heard a yawn. Yuffie froze. When she heard the screech of a chair move, she dived under the bed.

Kairi walked into the room. Besides having half of her hair either wet or dried with milk, she looked like death warmed over. Her eyes were watery and her nose was about twice its normal size with the coloration of a cherry. Her face was covered with various orafix secretions. She unbuttoned her shirt.

Yuffie wasn't certain whether she should look or not. She loved Kairi dearly and never wanted to take her eyes off her, but Kairi was currently mad at her and might not like being looked at. She decided to go with the latter choice; it was safer. Kairi left the room and went into the bathroom. Yuffie climbed out from under the bed when she heard the shower start. As she stood up, she noticed the laptop sitting on the windowsill.

"Bingo," she whispered and she picked it up. Yuffie removed a sock from her shirtfront and scuttled out of the apartment.

Yuffie bummed another ride from the town's public transportation system. Over breakfast Tifa had not only promised to watch Yuna, but she had also given Yuffie directions to a good computer repair shop. Yuffie figured that the sooner it was in, the sooner it would be foxed, and the sooner she could surprise Kairi with her papers.

When Yuffie walked in, she saw that the only person in the shop was behind the counter. The kid was dressed all in blue with a large yellow-brimmed hat. The kid, Yuffie couldn't tell the gender, was fixing a computer.

"Hi there," Yuffie said as she glanced at the nametag, "Vivi can you fix this computer?"

She handed Vivi the computer. The kid smiled at her and opened the laptop. Vivi gasped and looked horrified. He, Yuffie had decided that it was a he, said, "It looks like somebody stepped on the screen. I don't think it can be fixed."

"Yeah that's what happened. Can you do a date return?" she asked earnestly.

Vivi stared at her. He then said uncomfortably, "Data retrieval? Well yeah, I guess… the motherboard is in the body of the laptop. But I'd have to put the data onto another computer or a USB drive."

"Ok," Yuffie said thinking, "and how long would this date retrieval take?"

"Data retrievals take anywhere from a couple hours to several weeks," Vivi said, "Until I open her up, I can't tell."

"How long until you can start the date retrieval?" asked Yuffie.

"Data retrieval."

"Data retrieval," repeated Yuffie.

"I'm booked solid for a month," Vivi said, "What with finals next week and—"

Yuffie snapped. She grabbed Vivi by the collar and hauled him over his counter. "Listen Vivi," she spat, "This computer belongs to my girlfriend and I stepped on it. She's mad at me, really mad at me, and threw me out of the house so I had to sneak back in to get the computer I stepped on and I came here because you can fix computers so Kairi can get her term papers and not flunk college so that she'll take me back. You are responsible for making that happen Vivi, and if you don't give me the edge to win her back, I will stalk you down to the ends of the earth and make your life a living hell. Understand?"

Vivi looked dazed when Yuffie set him down. "Is having it done by Sunday okay?" he asked.

Yuffie smiled, "That sounds lovely. Do you want cash or credit?"

**xxx**

Sunday evening found Yuffie sitting over a copy machine like a four-year-old watching a cookie. She had been at this for an hour now and was on her second paper. She had six more papers, a play, and three graphic designs to print out. It was going to be a long night. Yuffie pulled her six-pack of caffeine closer. She had a lot of work to do.

An eight am Monday morning class seemed to be the stupidest idea Yuffie had ever heard of. Kairi had her psychology class at eight am on Mondays.

Yuffie crept in at eight ten and sat down in the back of the room. The teacher was blathering on about Freud or something, so Yuffie tuned her out. She had more important things to do, like find the love of her life.

'_There she is!'_ thought Yuffie excitedly. Kairi looked worse than ever, although she didn't have milk in her hair. Yuffie grinned; she couldn't wait to see the look on her face.

Kairi was sitting in the middle section, halfway up the seating. She was sitting three seats to the right of the aisle. Normally the redhead would avidly taking notes, but today she was staring off into space.

Yuffie took the seat next to the edge. She watched Kairi intently, waiting to be noticed. All of a sudden the students were all getting up. Yuffie tugged on the sleeve of a cheerful looking brunette and asked, "What's going on?"

"Its time to turn in our papers," she said quietly, "Would you poke Kairi for me? She's the redhead there, I don't believe she heard."

Yuffie nodded and released the brunette. She poked insistently at Kairi's side until she looked at her. When Kairi saw her, she gasped. Yuffie grinned and waved before she held up Kairi's psych paper. Yuffie got up, joined the masses and turned Kairi's paper into the teacher's bin of term papers. Yuffie returned the Kairi's side and sat down next to her.

"How did… what…Yuffie?" spluttered Kairi.

"I've got seven more of these, baby," Yuffie said with a grin.

"You stepped on my computer," Kairi whimpered, "and broke it."

Yuffie pushed up the arm divider between the two of them. She wrapped her arm around the younger girl. "I snuck back into the apartment and took it to a repair shop," Yuffie said, "They did a date return."

"Data retrieval," Kairi mumbled.

"I spent all night at a copy shop printing out all the papers and crap from the UFO drive," she continued.

"USB drive," Kairi corrected.

"So all the papers are here," Yuffie said as she pulled her messenger bag, "And I'm buying you a computer."

Kairi smiled even though she was crying and took the messenger bag.

"With more google chomps," Yuffie said with a grin.

"Gigabytes," Kairi said with a smile.

"And the tooth fairy feature," Yuffie said with a grin.

"The blue tooth feature," laughed Kairi.

She kissed Yuffie. Yuffie held her really tight and let Kairi tuck her head under Yuffie's chin. They both stare at the professor, but Yuffie wasn't listening. All in life was good again, the way it should be.

* * *

So yes, this is the last currently written chapter as stated above the disclaimer. My imp of creativity happens to like killing stories in the seventh chapter. I'm hoping that people will review and then I can use the reviews to bribe the little monster into letting me create a seventh chapter. Please review. 


	7. Photos and Threats

MC: So here is chapter seven, I'm sorry that it wasn't up sooner. You see I had written this chapter about a week and a half ago, but only got it edited about two days ago. Then after it was edited and changes were made, refused to allow me to upload this chapter to my account. I just got it uploaded now, so here is chapter seven. A friend pointed out that there were several mistakes in chapter six, I've gone through part of the chapter and hopefully fixed them all (that's the problem with having only one editor). So, on to chapter seven.

DISCLAIMER: Sadly I do not own any of Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or the locations within this story

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 7: Photos and Threats**

Kairi flipped the lights on and dropped her jacket on the counter. She grabbed the door and held it open for her girlfriend Yuffie, who was carrying several large grocery bags. Yuffie smirked as she passed her and headed into the kitchen. The girls had spent the last three hours shopping and Kairi was glad to be home finally. Kairi locked up and strolled into the kitchen.

"Hey babe," Yuffie called when her head was in the refrigerator, "The answering machine is blinking again."

"Got it," Kairi said as she started the tape.

First the answering machine rattled out their message. "Hey," came out Kairi's voice, "This is Kairi Hart and—Yuffie Kisaragi!—Sorry, but we're not here right now. Please leave a message." The machine beeped and a voice said they had two messages.

Kairi stuffed some cans and cereal into the cupboard.

"First message," the voice said. "Kairi, Yuffie," Tifa's voice came over the speaker, "I've got the reservation ready for your first anniversary. I think everybody is coming; Link even promised to drag Cloud along. So gimme a call if there are any details you guys want to hash out."

Kairi grinned. She could barely believe it had been a year since Yuffie had knocked the two of them into one another and started their relationship.

"Second message," the voice said. "Ms. Kisaragi?" a woman asked, "This is the Wuti hospital. I have some unfortunate news. Your father has suffered several serious injuries and is currently at our hospital. We need you to come in as soon as possible. Our number is…"

Kairi's mind froze. _'Yuffie's dad is hurt?'_ she thought,_ 'Why are they calling us, he hates her.'_ Kairi heard a large crash. She turned and saw that Yuffie had dropped the carton of eggs. Yellow yolk seeped out of the container and spread out over the tiled floor.

"Dad," whispered Yuffie. The ninja tried not to cry.

"Oh Yuf," Kairi said gently. The redhead pulled the older girl close and held her as Yuffie cried.

**xxx**

"Dad," Yuffie screeched as she raced down the hospital hall. Kairi followed her at a slower pace. The redhead was amazed at the trail of destruction that the ninja had left behind, the worst of which was the spilled blood supply and the three patients who had slipped in it. Several doctors glared at the receding figure.

'_I have got to buy her a leash,'_ Kairi thought grimly as she helped a patient to his feet. She followed the trail of destruction, her embarrassment growing with every step, until she reached Yuffie.

Yuffie stood in the center of a patient's room. She had a doe in the headlight expression on her face. All of the ninja's attention was focused on the slumbering man in the bed. Kairi assumed that this was Mr. Kisaragi, Yuffie's dad.

All four of Mr. Kisaragi's limbs were in casts. Both legs were tied up so that they hung in the air. His Asian features were more prominent than Yuffie's and he had the wispy mustache that all the ancient dojo masters seem to have in the kung fu movies.

Kairi shuffled up to Yuffie and wrapped her arms around the older girl's neck. After two attempts of being shrugged off, Kairi hugged her around the waist instead. "It's going to be okay, Yuf," Kairi said softly, "The docs are practically miracle workers. I'm sure he'll be fine."

A doctor wandered in to check on the patient. She checked Mr. Kisaragi's charts and his bandages. She seemed surprised that Kairi and Yuffie were standing in the room. "Hello there," she said pleasantly.

"Is my dad gonna die, Doc?" Yuffie asked worriedly.

The doctor blinked. "Gracious no," she said sounding surprised.

Kairi felt that someone had to act rationally. "What happened to Mr. Kisaragi?" she asked.

The doctor flipped trough Mr. Kisaragi's charts before replying. "It seems that Mr. Kisaragi was drunk and fell off the roof," she said and flipped the paper over, "Then he was promptly run over by a car."

"Oh," Yuffie said meekly.

"He should be ready for release in a few weeks. Although he won't be fully healed for several months. He'll need to be cared for by a registered nurse if he wishes to be released from the hospital," the doctor said briskly, "I'll leave you here to spend some time with him." She then walked out of the room.

Yuffie crept up to the bed and stared at her sleeping father. Kairi stood at the edge of the curtain surrounding Mr. Kisaragi's bed. She felt it would be best to give Yuffie some privacy with her dad. Kairi watched as Yuffie gently stroke her father's cheek.

Mr. Kisaragi's eyes snapped open. He stared at Yuffie for a moment until he recognized her. "You," he snarled angrily.

Yuffie pulled her hand back like she had been burned. "Hello dad," she said weakly, "The hospital called and said you got hurt, I had to come to see if you were okay."

"Well if I was okay I wouldn't be in the hospital!" he barked at her. Yuffie shrank back with every barbed comment and Kairi realized she hated this man ho didn't deserve to be called Yuffie's father. Mr. Kisaragi settled down a bit and asked, "Have you straightened yourself out, kid?"

Yuffie brightened considerably. "Oh yeah, dad, of course," she said happily, "I've been staying out of fights and everything. I haven't picked a fight in over a year, although I could still finish one, and I've got a much better hold on my temper. I even went to college, Tokyo U, I bet you weren't expecting that, for two years and they didn't throw me out or anything. Sure they brought me in for my surfing skills, but my grades were good enough that they didn't throw me out after the first semester. I only left because I went pro… oh! Did I tell you I went pro in surfing, Dad?"

"That's all very well and good," he said sounding exasperated, "but that's not what I was asking. Are you still a faggot?"

Yuffie deflated like a punctured balloon. Her bravado was replaced with the beaten dog expression she had ever since the hospital called. Yuffie looked down at her shoes, but didn't say anything.

"Well?" asked Mr. Kisaragi, "Are you or aren't you a faggot?"

Kairi stared worriedly at her ninja. _'Just say you were wrong before,'_ Kairi thought unhappily_, 'If you need this bastard so badly, just lie. If he asks about me, I'm you roommate and nothing more. I understand babe.'_

Yuffie continued to stare at her shoes while her father looked on expectantly. She glanced hesitantly at Kairi. Kairi tried to smile back, but her attempt went poorly. Yuffie stared at her for a monument before she nodded silently. The ninja-surfer turned back to her father. "Yes," she said bravely, "I'm not a faggot." Her father breathed a sigh of relief and was about to speak when she continued, "I'm not a faggot, but I am gay. I'm a lesbian to be exact and I'm proud of it. I'm doing well in life, I'm rich, I'm happy, and I have a girlfriend. I'm not gonna hide it, I am what I am."

Mr. Kisaragi's face went bright red. "Get out!" he roared, "Get out you faggot! I never want to see your face again!"

Yuffie's nerve broke. She turned and ran out of the room as her father continued to scream. Kairi glared at the man, silently swore that she'd get him for this later, and followed Yuffie out of the room. She needed to find her girlfriend before she did something really stupid.

Kairi found Yuffie on the roof of the hospital smoking a cigarette. Yuffie stood next to the edge of the roof leaning over the three-foot safety wall. Kairi strolled up to her and stared silently for a moment. "Yuffie, your dad is a bastard," Kairi said, "but that gives you no right to smoke."

Yuffie jumped guiltily when Kairi spoke. She turned around and smiled guiltily, cigarette dangling from her mouth. "Hey babe," she said uneasily.

Kairi glared at her girlfriend with her hands on her hips. "Why are you smoking?" she demanded.

"I used to smoke a lot when I was younger," Yuffie said, "and I still do when I get really stressed."

"I can't believe this!" yelled Kairi. She ripped the cigarette from the older girl's mouth and flicked it over the ledge. "You're gonna mess up your athletic ability and lose your job you idiot! And don't even get me started on the cancer risks you've subjected yourself to!"

Kairi would have continued her cigarette rant, but she noticed that Yuffie was crying. She stood there dumbly watching Yuffie cry silently. The redhead exhaled loudly and reached out to the older girl. Yuffie pushed her away at first, but pressed her head against Kairi's shoulder when the younger girl was finally able to pull her close.

"Kairi," mumbled Yuffie softly as she clung to younger girl, "Why does he hate me so much?"

"A lot of people are idiots because they fear homosexuals," Kairi said softly, "They just don't get that we're all the same. I know that it's hard to stand, but your dad is one of them."

"I hate crying because of him," Yuffie said quietly, "He doesn't deserve off of these tears, and yet he still gets them."

Kairi pulled partly away from Yuffie so she could look at her face. "Come on," she said, "let's get out of here. You can show me around your hometown."

Yuffie sniffed a few more times and then grinned evilly, "I know the perfect place to start." She grabbed Kairi's hand and pulled the redhead toward the roof entrance. "We'll start at my old place," she said smirking at Kairi.

"Didn't your dad chase you off the property with a shotgun when you were seventeen?" Kairi asked jogging down the stairs.

"Yeah, but he's not here right now," she said, "Plus I already know all of the traps he sets, so nothing could go wrong." Kairi had a really bad feeling about this.

**xxx**

"So this was your room," Kairi said looking around.

"Yup," Yuffie said grinning. She leaned against the doorframe watching Kairi look around. They were standing in the room that Yuffie had lived in for the first seventeen years of her life. This was after Yuffie had picked lock on the back door of her father's house.

"Hey," Kairi said when she noticed the wallpaper, "You've got My Little Pony™ wallpaper."

"That was put up when I was three," Yuffie said defensively.

"And yet it was still up when you were seventeen?" Kairi asked trying not to smirk, "Come on Yuffie, it was unfair of you to make fun of my Disney Princesses."

"At least I didn't add more ponies to my wall when I got older," Yuffie shot back, "Mulan wasn't around until you were at least seven."

"I was ten, thank you very much," Kairi said stiffly, "and she was courageous; she taught lots of girls how to be brave. What did your horses do? Oh, I know by the magic invested in my horn, flowers will sprout out of the ground!"

Yuffie glared at her. "That was the _Pretty Pretty Unicorns_ show doofus," she said.

Kairi's eyes widened. "Name calling now, are we?" she said snidely, "Wouldn't the ponies be offended by your use of foul language."

"Yeah, well what sort of moral values are your princesses teaching?" shot back Yuffie. "Sleeping Beauty marries a man she only met once upon a dream, Snow White moved in with seven unmarried men, Arial tossed away her entire life and family to be with some guy who left her for another woman for a while! And don't even get me started on Alice and her drugs! Damn caterpillar with a hookah!"

Kairi stared at her seething girlfriend. There was a tense minute of silence. "Okay, let's make a deal to never again argue about our childhood role models," Kairi said, "I don't want to lose you to a horse."

"Deal," Yuffie said. The ninja then went over to her bed and shoved it about a foot to the left.

"What are you doing?" Kairi asked as she watched the ninja carefully pull the carpet out of the wall and peel it back until the wooden floorboards showed.

Yuffie started prying the nails out of a floorboard with a small wooden knothole. "I'm getting at my super secret stash," she said as she pulled out the board.

"We broke into your father's house to steal four-year-old pot" Kairi asked rather surprised. She didn't think Yuffie would go to all this trouble to hide drugs.

Yuffie gave her a scandalized look. "Drugs?" squawked Yuffie, "Kairi my dear, I may have been an idiot and did a lot of stupid things, but doing drugs isn't among them. Fighting, cigarettes, and cheap slash dangerous thrills were my thing." She carefully set the board down to keep the carpet in place. "Besides," she added with a grin, "four-year-old pot is too old to be used."

Kairi, who was now the scandalized one, watched Yuffie pull out an old shoebox. The ninja reverently set down the box and then pulled a couple of porn magazines out of the secret compartment."

"Oh, like you never had any," Yuffie said in a disbelieving tone.

"Nope, never did. Remember, I didn't realize that I was gay until after I met you," Kairi said matter-of-factly. She added, "So what's in the box, more porn?"

"Hardly," scoffed Yuffie. She picked up the box and tapped its side. "If I'm gonna show you this stuff, I want you to be serious. This is important to me, understand?"

Kairi nodded and waited quietly. Yuffie carefully blew off the layer of dust on the top of the box and opened it. She pulled out a stack of photos and handed them to Kairi. The first one was of a beautiful Asian woman in a yellow kimono. _'She's so gorgeous,'_ Kairi thought.

"That was my mom," Yuffie said softly. Kairi looked at her. "She died when I was four," Yuffie continued, "She was sick for a really long time before she died, but dad never told me with what."

Kairi reached out and stroked the other girl's cheek. Yuffie shook away her hand and busied herself with re-nailing the floorboard in place. Kairi flipped to the next picture in the stack. The same woman was in it holding a small child and standing next to a handsome man. Kairi's eyes widened.

'_That's Yuffie's dad,'_ she thought excitedly_, 'So that must be Yuffie!'_ Kairi determined that Yuffie made a cute toddler and flipped to the next page. The next one was of a young Yuffie, this time she was recognizable, wearing a huge grin and holding up a black belt as her father stood proudly beside her. The fourth photo showed a nervous Yuffie sitting still while her father tied a white bandana around her head. After puzzling over the photo for a moment, Kairi realized that it must be a photo of when Yuffie became a full-fledged ninja.

"Hey, Yuffie, who are these people?" Kairi asked when she looked at the next photo. Besides a Yuffie who looked like she was about eight, there was a brunette girl and a little blonde boy with spiky hair and a ponytail. The other two looked older than Yuffie.

"Oh," Yuffie said when she saw the photo, "That's Tifa and Cloud. You know Tifa, but Cloud was like a big brother to me. I haven't seen him since he went off to military boarding school when I was nine."

"Cloud?" Kairi asked feeling surprised. There couldn't be very many blonde men with naturally spiky hair around who were named Cloud. It seemed weird that Yuffie could have known her old boss as a kid though.

"Yeah, Cloud Strife," Yuffie said fondly, "he and Tifa were both from Nebulam, but they visited us here to learn Kung fu from my dad. Cloud had this dorky ponytail that needed about a gallon of gel everyday to keep it lying down, unlike the rest of his hair. He was like a big brother and Tifa, a sister, to me. Dad loved him like a son; I wonder what ever happened to him."

"I think I worked for him," Kairi said.

Yuffie looked at her, surprised, "When?"

"About a year ago, my entire senior year of high school," Kairi said. When all she received was a blank look she added, "The guy you thought I was cheating on you with."

Yuffie's eyes widened. "That was Cloud?"

"I think so, Yuffie. His name was Cloud Strife and he had spiky blonde hair," Kairi said.

"Okay, that's really weird," Yuffie said. She flipped to the next photo. It was of cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, and Mr. Kisaragi all in formal dojo wear. Yuffie flipped to the next photo, but since it was the first picture again, she stuck them back in the box. "Come on, help me get this room back together."

Kairi carefully picked up Yuffie's shoebox. Yuffie carefully put the carpet back into place so that the split in it was unnoticeable. The ninja then shoved the bed back into place. Kairi led the way out of Yuffie's room and then out of the Kisaragi home.

Yuffie carefully locked the door she had picked and then gave Kairi a grin. "Well, at least I have all of my important stuff now," she said brushing the hair out of her eyes.

"What else is in the box?" Kairi asked curiously.

"Oh, you know," Yuffi said shrugging, "The usual things a girl finds important. Those pictures, my throwing stars, my throwing knives, my black belt with the proof that I've earned it, and my ninja certificate." She fell silent for a moment thinking, "Silver chopsticks with my name engraved, my mother's comb and… oh, her wedding ring!"

Kairi knew that weaponry wasn't usually an important thing to girls, but she wasn't going to burst Yuffie's bubble. "Hey," she said slowly, "I know you left home at seventeen, but what did you do then?"

The ninja glanced at her before climbing into ther rental car. Kairi followed suit and passed the box to Yuffie. As Kairi turned the car on, Yuffie said, "After dad threw me out, I was kind of lost for a while. I lived in the park for three weeks of my junior year before Tifa found out and insisted that I move in with her. The three of us, me, her, and her dad, lived together for about a year and a half before I went to Tokyo for college. I spent about two years at high school being 'the fag'."

"That must have been really rough," Kairi said quietly as she drove down Main Street.

Yuffie laughed. "No, not really," she said grinning, "Since I've always been a fighter, everyone was too scared to call me gay to my face. Tifa didn't get much flack either since she was out of high school and people didn't realize that there was any connection between us."

"Everyone sounds really horrible here," Kairi said.

"Nah, they're just not very open minded," Yuffie said with a chuckle, "Hell, I wasn't very open minded either, but I've gotten better since I moved out of Wuti. It's a great place to grow up in, very safe, but new ideas don't come easily here. Sure, I bet you can like girls just fine here, but ya can't flaunt it, and I didn't fit in really well because you know I'm not good at hiding anything. Anyway, I love my hometown but I'd much rather live in Twilight with you."

Kairi smiled quietly and tried to control her blush. Even after a year of living with Yuffie and her sappy remarks, Kairi still turned vermillion at any show of endearment. "I'm going to stop by the hospital before we go home," Kairi said softly.

"What?" the ninja squawked clutching the small box.

"He may dislike you and I know I don't like him, but," Kairi sighed and looked at her girlfriend, "You love him. If I don't make him some sort of arrangements so that he gets better, you'll be unhappy. I don't want you unhappy, so I'm off to fix things. You, stay here."

Yuffie nodded mutely as she watched Kairi get out of the car. The redhead smiled at her ninja as she shut the car and locked it. Kairi strode into the hospital. She caught a staff member of the hospital's administration to hash out the immediate future of Mr. Kisaragi. After an hour of hammering out details and running through legalities Kairi had set up a decent plan for Mr. Kisaragi's rehabilitation. He would to be released from the hospital in a week and then cared for by a nurse until his arms were healed.

Kairi marched up to Mr. Kisaragi's room. She strode in and stood next to his bed arms folded. After a moment he noticed that Kairi was there and demanded to know who she was.

"I'm Kairi Hart and I am here to tell you that you will be released into the care of a nurse in a week," she said leaning against the wall. Kairi then leaned in close to Mr. Kisaragi's face. "I'm also here to tell you this: if you ever insult or hurt Yuffie again, I will castrate you and break every bone in your body."

Mr. Kisaragi spluttered angrily. "What are you talking about?" he demanded.

"Yuffie, your daughter, loves you dearly and would do anything to keep you safe," Kairi said softly. She continued dangerously, "You mean the world to her and yet you treat her like dirt. I don't ever want to see her cry again because of you. You make her cry, you pay, got it?"

Mr. Kisaragi stared at her in fear. "I understand," he said softly. He looked like he was about to wet himself. "Who are you?" he asked meekly.

"Why I'm Kairi Hart," Kairi said cheerfully, "I'm your daughter's girlfriend. It's nice to meet you dad."

Kairi turned on her heel and walked out of the room. She left the hospital and climbed into the car. "Hey. Yuf," she said kissing her sleeping girlfriend on the cheek. Yuffie woke up and gave her a sleepy smile. Kairi smiled back and said, "Your dad is gonna be fine, I've made arrangements for him. We'll be paying for his medical bills, but that's what I figured you would want."

"Yeah, that's great, thanks, Kai," Yuffie said nodding vigorously.

"Your father and I also had a little talk," she said grimly.

"Really?" Yuffie asked nervously.

"Yes," she said, "He realized that his behavior was uncouth, so he sends his apologies for the way he treated you."

"Really," Yuffie asked excitedly.

"Yup," Kairi said grinning. Yuffie let out an excited whoop and raced into the hospital. _'Oh shit,'_ Kairi thought angrily. She ran after Yuffie into the hospital.

Kairi made it into the hospital room a moment after Yuffie did. She watched the ninja eagerly approach the bed. _'Shit,'_ Kairi thought_, 'He's gonna start screaming at her.'_

"Hey dad," Yuffie said timidly.

Mr. Kisaragi's face turned purple. "Yuffie," he finally gasped.

"Daddy," she said excitedly.

'_This might turn out okay,'_ Kairi thought with a smile.

"You are a homosexual who has brought dishonor upon our family," Mr. Kisaragi said sternly, "You will never have children to continue our line."

'_I am going to kill him,'_ Kairi thought angrily.

"However," Mr. Kisaragi continued, "You are my daughter and I love you. You, Yuffie, made me the proudest father a daughter could ever have when you were young. Hopefully you will continue to honor me with your exploits as an adult."

The room was silent when Mr. Kisaragi finished. Kairi was certain that she'd have to kill him when Yuffie flung her arms around her father. When she pulled back, Kairi saw that she had a huge grin on her face, even though she was crying.

"Dad," Yuffie said happily, "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"You're welcome," Mr. Kisaragi said gruffly.

"Oh, and as for the whole kids thing," Yuffie said with a big grin, "I'm probably going to be able to talk Kairi into have kids for us after she finishes college. So the family line will be continued after all."

Kairi stared at the happy reunion. She couldn't believe that Yuffie was bringing up her child crusade to her father. _'I can't believe this,'_ she thought_, 'I guess my threat really did work after all. I really hope Yuffie doesn't mention her plan of getting me "in the family way" to my mom.'_ Kairi then strolled out of the room to get some coffee and allow them some time to catch up.

**xxx**

"So you guys had a good visit?" Kairi asked.

"Yup, he wanted to hear all about my surfing competitions," Yuffie said happily. She was driving the rental car back to Twilight Town while Kairi rode shotgun.

"That must have been fun," Kairi said.

"Mmm-hmm," Yuffie said, "He was so disappointed that I haven't been keeping up with my kung fu and ninja skills, but he gave me a great idea on how to practice my skills."

"Oh yeah, and what's that?" Kairi asked.

"I should teach you kung fu!" Yuffie shouted happily.

"Seriously?" Kairi asked surprised. She had always thought it would be neat to learn, but never had the time as a kid. "Aren't I too old to learn?" she asked warily.

"Naw, it'll be a bit harder, but we'll have lots of fun," Yuffie said with a grin, "He also said he's gonna send us a card for our anniversary. By the way, there was something kind of weird. Dad said that you'd be good for me since you're a super alpha bitch that would make me behave. Do you have any idea what he was talking about?"

_'Oh great,'_ thought Kairi. She said, "Don't worry about it Yuffie, it's not really important."

"I can't wait to get home and see Yunie," Yuffie chirped happily.

"Me too," Kairi said softly. She cuddled up to her ninja as they drove off toward Twilight Town, and toward home.

* * *

Chapter eight and the later chapters of this story will come slower since I've started a second story. Its a Legend of Zelda fic and I haven't actually started posting it here at but it does take up some of my time. Since it doesn't relate to Ordinary Adventures, I will refrain from mentioning it here. Thank you all so much for reading chapter seven, I hope everyone reviews it. 


	8. Kisaragi, Yuffie Kisaragi

MC: Yes, I know I've been a bad, bad little chocobo for not posting a new chapter in almost two months. Still I have reasons! First I had to get a new editor since my old one and I were having too many fights and kept putting off/losing her manuscript of chapter 8. Then when I finally got a new editor (on a side note, thanks to Niccolo for editing chapter 8) she pointed out that there were some major problems with the last several pages of this chapter, so they had to be written. Plus it doesn't help matters that my new editor can only edit on the weekend, so I only get my fixed copy on Mondays (that will affect future postings). To further matters, Yuffie and Kairi weren't happy that I ended up having to bribe friends to get reviews on chapter 7, so they were mean to me (I guess that shows you people don't like not totally happy chapters). Still, chapter 8 is finally written and out, and it is a mammoth of a chapter. I will now shut up and let you all read.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, Kairi and Yuffie would have hooked up leaving Sora and Riku to their own nefarious deeds.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 8: Kisaragi, Yuffie Kisaragi **

"Do-dooo… Do-doooo…" Yuffie hummed the James Bond theme song softly as she checked her pistol. She had her back up against a wall near a corner.

Pulling out her pistol and holding it up near her head she carefully looked around the corner. Yuffie saw her beautiful girlfriend tied up to evil Professor Dr. Wise's Trial of Doom. She, Yuffie the Great Ninja-Spy, couldn't leave her lover hostage, so she was about to perform a rescue.

Yuffie adjusted her bowtie and whispered, "Showtime."

She leapt forward, wrapped an arm around Kairi's waist, and hoisted the redhead out of her chair. Yuffie ran carrying the screaming girl and tripped on a rug. Agent Kisaragi pulled both of them through a summersault and then launched the two off the floor and onto the bed. Rolling slightly Yuffie managed to straddle her harried girlfriend. She smirked devilishly at her prey.

"I take it you had fun at Casino Royal," Kairi said breathlessly.

"Mmm-hmm," Yuffie said as she started unbuttoning the top of Kairi's blouse. "Although Sean Connery could easily kick this new Bond's ass."

Kairi frowned slightly and pulled Yuffie's pistol out of her hand. "Don't stick this thing in my face," she said and sniffed the barrel. "What did you fill this with, Yuffie?" she asked.

"Brandy," Yuffie laughed malevolently.

"Lovely," Kairi drawled and squirted brandy up Yuffie's nose.

"Gaa!" screamed Yuffie. She fell off the bed and onto the floor.

Kairi jumped down, landing squarely on Yuffie. She jabbed the brandy-filled pistol under Yuffie's chin. "So, are you ready to surrender, Yuf?" she asked, caressing Yuffie's cheek.

"I never give up, I never surrender!" shouted Yuffie.

Yuffie's oath earned her a face squirted with brandy. When she was thoroughly soaked Kairi leaned in and kissed her. "You know," Kairi said, playing with the ninja's hair. She had shifted so she was lying on top of the older girl. "I'm not the one with the flavored face."

"But you do taste good," Yuffie said licking her collarbone. "Really."

Kairi's breath hitched. "We are not having sex on the floor," she said breathlessly.

The older girl smirked, "Well, we've got a bed right there, babe."

Suddenly the redhead frowned and looked away from Yuffie. "Yuna," she said dryly.

"What about her?" asked Yuffie as she covertly pulled the blouse off Kairi's shoulders. "Because I can tell you that you aren't thinking about her during sex."

"What?" asked Kairi looking aghast. "No!"

"Why'd ya mention her then?" demanded Yuffie.

"I just remembered that you have to take Yuna to an appointment at the vet's," she answered.

"Now?" whined Yuffie. "Can't it wait half an hour?" she pleaded rubbing one of Kairi's breasts gently.

Kairi glared at her. "How the hell did you get my bra off without me noticing?" The redhead got up and pulled her blouse tightly shut. "You know what," she said brushing hair out of her eyes, "I don't want to know. Just take the bird to the vet's."

"Spoil sport," Yuffie grumbled as she got up from the floor. Grinning, she started to viciously tickle the redhead. She managed to steer the tickle fight back onto the bed.

"Yuffie!" Kairi screamed as she laughed hysterically. "Get off! I have… ha ha ha… to finish that paper… Wednesday!"

"Oh yeah!" crowed Yuffie when she had pulled off Kairi's blouse and dangled it over the girl trapped between her legs. Kairi growled and tried to push the ninja off, but she had no leverage.

Yuna, seeing her dear mother in danger, gave a battle wark and rushed into the room. She ferociously attacked the soles Yuffie's feet with her beak. Yuffie screamed in pain and fell off the bed onto the little chocobo.

"Serves you right," Kairi snapped pulling Yuffie roughly to her feet.

The redhead then threw the ninja out the front door, although since Yuffie's feet didn't actually leave the floor, it was more like falling out. The door clicked shut. Yuffie rolled onto her back and stared at the door in a daze. Moments later her boots were thrown in her face and the door slammed shut again. When Yuffie had laced her boots up, the door opened a third time. Yuna was carefully pushed through and the door snapped shut a final time. When she picked up the chocobo, she noticed a bus fare attached to the bird's collar.

_'I guess she wasn't in the mood,'_ Yuffie thought, feet still smarting. "Why did you attack me?" Yuffie demanded. "You know I'm your mommy too." Yuna smirked at the girl. "You're a real bitch sometimes, Yunie," Yuffie growled before sighing, "Guess we'd better get going. If we miss the appointment, Kairi'll have my head."

It wasn't until after they stepped out of the apartment building and the artic wind hit them that Yuffie realized that she didn't have her coat. "Could this day get any worse?" the ninja screeched, scaring various pedestrians.

**xxx**

Yuffie was still in a foul mood when she reached the vet. After checking in with the receptionist, she sat down in the lobby near a giggly man with a dirty blonde mullet. He had two cat carriers next to him. Yuffie clutched Yuna to her chest tightly.

"Oh!" the man said. It looked like he was staring at her chest. "You've got a chocobo too!" he squealed, "What's his name?"

"_Her_ name," Yuffie growled, "is Yuna."

"I'm so sorry, Yuna, I should have realized your effeminate beauty," the man said. "I've got two of my own," he added, tapping the cat carriers lightly.

Yuffie stared at the strange man blankly. "Who are you?" she asked.

"Me?" squeaked the man, clearly embarrassed, "I'm Demyx, Demyx Nocturne. These are Little Demyx and Little Zexion."

"You named your chocobo after yourself," Yuffie said, thinking_, 'How conceited can you get?'_

"No, I found Little Dem already with that name, and I thought 'Oh my god, this is so cool, that chocobo has my name.' When I saw Little Dem had a mullet and could sing, I thought there is no way that I'm not getting him," Demyx blathered, "and when I saw Little Zexy, I immediately thought of Zexy and knew he would love him, so I got him too. Besides Little Dem started crying when I put him in the car without Little Zexy."

She frowned for a moment thinking. "Oh," Yuffie said cheerfully, "You must have gotten Dem and Zexy from Link! Did you know Demyx is afraid of heights?"

"Yeah, I did," Demyx said happily. He paused for a moment, processing the rest of Yuffie's statement. "Really? Because I am too."

Yuffie blinked at the odd coincidence and smiled at the cheerful man. She introduced herself to him and they both tried to shake each other's arm out of its socket. Finding themselves evenly matched, Demyx gave her a chocolate bar and popped another one into his own mouth.

"This is so cool," Yuffie said, "Kairi and I got Yuna from Link too. He's also our vet. I mean, we almost had that creepy old guy who's always talking to his rats, but then Link and Cloud—that's Link's boyfriend—moved here for Cloud's law practicing thingy. That means I don't have to deal with creepy rat man anymore!"

"Really?" asked Demyx, "Because Link is our vet too! Our appointment isn't for another hour, but Zexy wanted me out of the house so he could work on his chemistry papers in peace. I tend to, ah… distract him."

"Are you serious?" Yuffie laughed, "'Cause Kairi kicked me out of the apartment to take Yunie to the vet, even though that's usually her job, so she can work on her opening statement for the mock trial. It's like we're twins or something."

Demyx stared at her. "You're right," he breathed, "we _are_ twins."

A small blond boy with pointed ears came out from the back of the veterinary building. He wore a white lab coat and carried a small file. "Ah, Yuffie," he said, smiling pleasantly. "It's good to see you again."

"Hi ya Link," Yuffie said happily. "Did ya know Demyx and I are twins?"

"Really?" Link said, nodding slightly. "Well, you'll have to leave your twin now so I can give Yuna her physical."

"Okey dokey, Linky," Yuffie said following Link into Exam Room 2.

"Yuffie, I would appreciate it if you'd use a little professional decorum when you address me at work," Link said, "I did go through four years of veterinary school to get this degree after four years of undergraduate college."

"Sorry Link, it's just you look like a little kid playing dress up," Yuffie said.

Link scowled, or at least he tried to. The faces of small children don't hold scowls very well, so it looked like he was pouting. "It's not my fault that I have a genetic disorder," he whined, "Just because my body will never look physically older than a ten-year-old's doesn't mean you can tease me."

"So in other words, you're a pedophile's wet dream since you're a legal adult, but still look like a child," Yuffie said, nodding wisely. Link shot her a disdainful look. "Does this mean Cloud has some seriously weird kinks 'cause he's sleeping with you?" she asked.

"No it doesn't," Link snapped, "Cloud and I have many personality traits that make us very compatible. Plus he's an excellent cook. Now I'd like to get to Yuna; we're not here to discuss my sex life."

He carefully picked Yuna and set her on the examination table. Link carefully checked he eyes, beak, plumage, coloration, and claws before taking her temperature. He stretched out her wings and gently twisted them to examine the fragile bone structure.

Yuffie was fascinated. She had no idea that Yuna's wings could bend that way and much less that the little bird would let anyone do that to her. Yuna wouldn't listen to any requests Yuffie made. The bird wouldn't even let Yuffie use the bathroom unmolested; the bird loved to chase her out, especially when she was in the shower. Only reason Yuffie was allowed to share a bed with Kairi was because Kairi willed it.

"How'd ya get her to agree to all that?" Yuffie asked.

Link looked surprised. "She's one of my birds," he said, "I hatched her and took care of her as a chick. She'll always be willing to follow my instructions because she loves me and trusts me to always have her best interests in mind. Yuna here is one of my chocobo children."

'_Ah ha! Now I've learned your little secret,'_ Yuffie thought smartly, squinting her eyes at the chocobo on the examining table._ 'You want Link and Kairi to get together since they're your parents. Well, over my dead body.'_ Yuffie blanched when a new thought occurred to her_, 'Maybe Yunie plans to turn me into a dead body. She's always pecking at my feet, it could be a sign of her evil intentions.'_

"Yuffie?" Link asked touching her arm.

Yuffie jumped. "You're not killing me to get your parents together!" the ninja yelled leaping onto a small plastic chair that was in the corner of the examination room, "I'll never sleep when you're around again!"

Link stared at her wide-eyed. "What are you talking about?" he asked before shifting uncomfortably and said, "…Yuna's fine."

"Yunie's fine?" Yuffie scoffed, "She's not fine, she's a psychotic killer hiding in the guise of an innocent chocobo. She wants to whack me!"

"Yuffie, Yuna doesn't want to kill you," Link said calmly. "She loves you and cares about you. Her family would be incomplete if you weren't there. Yunie is a perfectly wonderful chocobo that you should be proud of. So take her and go home."

Yuffie leapt down and gingerly scooped the bird up off the table. She could tell that Yuna was mad at her, but for once that didn't involve pecking.

"Hey girl," Yuffie said softly as she moved to the front desk to pay for their visit, "I'm sorry I accused you of intending to commit murder."

As soon as Yuffie paid at the reception desk, she was knocked down by a mass of white and brown. At first the ninja thought it was a bear because of its massive claws and size, but then realized bears wouldn't be in a veterinary hospital's lobby. Yuffie recognized it exactly the moment it started licking her.

"Angelo!" she cried, shoving the shaggy dog off of her. The collie-lab mix happily continued to lick her face. "What are you doing here, boy?" Yuffie asked while playing with the dog's fur.

"Getting his shots and blood tests," a woman said. She squatted down next to Yuffie and Angelo and brushed some of her dark brown hair out of her face. "Hey Yuffie," she said, smiling faintly.

"Rinoa," Yuffie said softly. It was painful to see her after all of these years. There she was giving Yuffie that same old Mona Lisa-smile like she knew everything in the whole wide world. She was even wearing that same blue dress that Yuffie always remembered her wearing.

"So what are you here for, kiddo?" Rinoa asked standing up again. She offered Yuffie a hand.

Yuffie ignored the hand, getting up on her own. She carefully picked Yuna up from the counter and walked out of the veterinary hospital. Yuffie could hear Rinoa and Angelo hurrying to catch up with her.

"Yuffie, wait," the brunette blurted. "Can we just talk? It would be just like old times…"

She turned and glared at the older girl. "It's been four years, Rinoa. I don't want you in my life," she said coldly.

"Come on Yuffie, I just want to take you out to lunch," Rinoa grinned at her. "Are you just gonna walk home through the snow like that? Your cute little chocobo will get frostbite…"

Yuna hissed at Rinoa. Yuffie was certain that she had never loved Yuna more than at that moment.

"Please Yuf, I just wanna find out what's new in your life, babe," she pleaded, "Angelo really misses you."

Yuffie glanced down, seeing that Angelo had cuddled himself up to her legs so that he was practically wrapped around her feet. He was panting and happily telling her how much he loved her in doggy speech.

Yuffie felt her resolve waver when she saw that overgrown puppy's mug. "If I came out to have lunch with you, what would we talk about?" Yuffie asked, "Maybe what young girl you're currently romancing and cheating on your husband with?"

Rinoa winced. "That was uncalled for," she said softly.

"Seifer may have a lot of faults, but he was a friend," Yuffie said, glowering at her, "and even the worst creep doesn't deserve to have his wife, his partner for life, cheat on him."

"Yuffie—" Rinoa started.

"No," Yuffie said angrily. Rinoa's insistence for a little reunion had just unearthed all of her old anger and pain. "You made me the 'other woman,' the home wrecker! I hate 'other woman's!" Yuffie yelled angrily. "I lost Seifer, who was rapidly becoming my best friend! He thought I knew you two were married and that I was willfully trying to destroy his marriage by seducing you! _Plus_ I got kicked outta my house by my shotgun-wielding father! And to top things off, I found out that the woman I was madly in love with thought I was some sort of plaything! Do you have _any_ idea how that feels?"

"Yuffie, I'm sorry," Rinoa whispered.

"Well 'sorry' doesn't cut it," Yuffie said coldly, and marched away.

**xxx**

Yuffie arrived at the apartment in a storm of rage. She dropped Yuna on the counter and flopped onto the sofa.

"I hate her," muttered Yuffie. Glancing around the room she realized that Kairi wasn't home. _'She's probably off abandoning me,'_ Yuffie thought grouchily before her thoughts returned to Rinoa. "I really, really, _really_ hate her!" she bellowed at the top of her lungs.

"I get it, you hate her. Now can you tell me who you're talking about?"

Yuffie looked up at Kairi, feeling extraordinarily embarrassed. "Hey babe," she said weakly, feeling stupid for being caught.

"Come on Yuffie, spill it." Kairi set down her basket of clean laundry, then walked over to Yuffie and sat down on her lap. "I could hear you yelling down the hall." Kairi kissed Yuffie's nose. "Wanna tell me about what put you in this foul mood?"

"The thing is—" Yuffie started, but was then cut off by the doorbell buzzing.

"Hold that thought," Kairi said getting up and striding over to the intercom. "Ah, hello?" she said.

"Yuffster? You sound pretty different over the intercom." Rinoa's voice buzzed through the electrical device.

Yuffie froze. _'Oh shit,' _she thought, eyeing Kairi warily_, 'Rinoa is gonna be all possessive and act like I'm still seeing her to piss off Kairi because she's just a bitch like that, and then Kairi'll be mad 'cause she'll think I was cheating on her even though I'm really not and she'll yell at me and make me sleep on the couch—'_

"Who is this?" Kairi asked uncertainly.

"Oh come on, Yuffie, would you just get over it babe and let me in? Angelo and I are getting cold," Rinoa whined.

Kairi glowered at the intercom. "This isn't Yuffie," the redhead said coldly.

"Then who is this?" The label on the button says 'Yuffie.'"

"And Kairi. It says Yuffie _and _Kairi," Kairi retorted, "I'm her girlfriend."

"Oh," Rinoa said snidely, "Can I come up, Yuffie's girlfriend?"

"No," snapped Kairi, ending the conversatation. She turned to Yuffie and demanded to know who that was.

"My ex," Yuffie said miserably, "My first ex. We… Well, I dumped her after I found out she was married. She really messed up my life, since dad kicked me out of the house because of her. I fell really hard and fast for her and I was heartbroken when I found out she was seeing me on the side. I always want to be the top banana."

"But you're not seeing her, or anyone else for that matter, now, right?" Kairi asked nervously.

"Of course not, babe," Yuffie said, getting up and crossing over to her girlfriend. She wrapped her arms around the redhead. "I would never, ever cheat on you. I only ran into her because I went to the vet, and even then I really didn't like seeing her."

"Okay, I believe you," Kairi laughed shakily. "I just wanted to make sure."

"You're always my only banana," Yuffie said sternly, wanting to banish any doubts from the redhead's mind. They stood there embracing for a few minutes in the silence of the apartment.

"Hey, let's do something special tonight," Yuffie said quietly, brushing some hair out of Kairi's eyes, "We'll do anything you want."

"Even if I want us to hang out with all of my vegan friends and go to the opera?" asked Kairi suspiciously.

Yuffie gave a strangled squawk, but nodded firmly. "Anything for you, Kairi," she said, "But I'm leaving if they call me 'The Barbarian Muscle Stripper' again."

"Geeze," Kairi laughed, punching the older girl in the arm. "You're pulling out all the stops. Maybe I do have to wonder if you really weren't up to anything." Yuffie made a rude noise before Kairi silenced her with a kiss.

**xxx**

Yuffie loosened and retightened her tie for the twelfth time. Instead of hanging out with the vegans, she and Kairi were currently attending a dinner party that Aeris and Leon were hosting back in Tokyo. It was full of doctors, lawyers, and other people with cushy conservative jobs. As a professional surfer, Yuffie knew she didn't fit in. Everyone kept pegging her as a drug addict as soon as they found out what she did for a living.

'_These are Cloud's people, Squallykin's people; Hell, they're even Kairi's people,'_ Yuffie thought sadly as she listened to two men talk about the stock market. "About the only thing I get to do is look pretty and not make an ass of myself," Yuffie growled quietly. She tossed her white wine into a potted plant and set her glass on a table before wading into the throng.

As she moved through the crowd, Yuffie got the sense that she was a cheetah on the hunt. All of the other partygoers pretended to ignore the girl in the suit; they were quietly watching her to see what she would do. Couples shied away from her as she approached, making a thin, almost unnoticeable path through the room. It made Yuffie feel both powerful and insignificant.

She spotted Aeris talking with a pink-haired man and a green-haired girl. Since she was busy, Yuffie felt the best policy would be to leave Aeris alone to play the gracious hostess. Yuffie hadn't seen Kairi since she had been called away by Cloud so that he could introduce her to clients.

Squallykins had told her privately that there were over a hundred guests invited to the party. They were all friends of Aeris' that she had met over the years. Yuffie only knew about six of them.

"Yuffie!" she heard a man shout excitedly.

Turning, Yuffie saw the mullet man from the vet. He was dressed in a powder blue tuxedo and was eagerly pulling a shorter man in a regular tuxedo with him. The shorter man didn't seem happy about such treatment, but had resigned to such a fate long ago.

"Hi there…" Yuffie trailed off as she stared at him.

"Demyx," he supplied cheerfully, "and this is my boyfriend, Zexy!"

"Hi Zexy," Yuffie said offering him her hand.

"I'm Dr. Zexion Grey," Zexion answered stuffily, shaking her hand.

Yuffie smiled at him. Zexion looked really young for a doctor, like Link. His light grey hair covered most of his face and it looked like he had lilac colored eyes.

"How old are you?" Yuffie asked curiously. There seemed to be an abnormally large number of childish looking doctors running around Twilight Town.

Zexion seemed surprised by the question. "Twenty-six," he said after a moment.

"What's with all the young doctors running around?" demanded Yuffie, hands on hips, "I mean Link's twenty-three and you're twenty-six—"

"I was twenty-four when I got my doctorate," Zexion broke in.

"—and this is just crazy," Yuffie continued, "People don't get their doctorates until they're like forty. I mean I thought having a saggy butt was one of the requirements to getting the "D", little "r" and dot in front of your name. No, wait a minute, I've got it: you've already got a saggy butt even at your young age, right?"

Zexion's cheeks were tinged pink as Demyx howled with laughter. Demyx smirked at Yuffie while still giggling and pinched the good doctor's rear. Zexion yelped and turned crimson as he slapped Demyx's hand away.

"I'm afraid that your analysis is wrong, Yuffie," Demyx said sincerily.

Zexion's mouth opened and shut, but no sound came out.

"Dr. Grey?" Kairi asked coming out of nowhere and tapping Yuffie's arm gently, "Is something wrong, sir?"

Yuffie jumped slightly. "Where did you come from?" she asked, "Have you secretly developed the ancient ninja skill of apperating?"

"No, I've just been looking for you for the last twenty minutes," Kairi said before asking in a louder voice, "Are you alright sir?"

"I'm burning all of your sheet music when we get home," the still red Zexion said quietly to Demyx. He turned to Kairi and replied curtly, "I'm fine. What do you want?"

"Hey!" snapped Yuffie angrily. Nobody talked to Kairi like that. She was about to give Zexion a piece of her mind when Kairi's hand clamped across her mouth. She struggled for a moment, but the hand stayed firmly attached.

Kairi said their goodbyes to Zexion and Demyx for both of them and pulled Yuffie through the crowd to the balcony. Only then did she take her hand off Yuffie's mouth. "Yuffie," Kairi said sternly, "If there's one thing I don't want you doing, it's pissing off Dr. Grey."

"Why is that?" Yuffie said nervously. She had a bad feeling about this and wished the warning had come a few minutes sooner.

"Because he's my chemistry professor, he doesn't like me, and he can't take a joke," she said sighing. Kairi smoothed her blue skirt with her hands and she leaned against the balcony.

"Oh," Yuffie replied carefully.

"Well, what did you do now, Yuffie?" Kairi asked tiredly as she rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"I kind of told him that I thought all doctors had to have saggy butts in order to earn their doctorate and asked if his was too, so Demyx, Zexy's boyfriend who I met at the vet before running into the Bitch from Hell, pinched his ass to find out," Yuffie breathed, wincing slightly, "Then he turned bright red and speechless."

Yuffie expected Kairi to yell at her after insulting her chemistry professor. She knew that teachers liked to judge their students by their friends and family sometimes and she had _not_ made a good impression.

Instead the redhead started laughing. Between fits of laughter, Kairi choked out, "Dr. Grey… got his ass…_pinched?_" She laughed for a few minutes before regaining her composure. Wiping some tears from her eyes Kairi asked, "And you say his nickname is Zexy?"

"Yeah, Demyx introduced him as that," Yuffie said grinning.

"I'm not going to be able to keep a straight face in class on Monday," Kairi said grinning back, "God, I could kiss you, Yuffie."

"Then why don't cha?" Yuffie smirked. She leaned in for a kiss.

Just as their lips brushed, Yuffie was roughly jerked away. The ninja came face to chest with an enraged man in a white trench coat. She looked up to see hatred in the eyes of a blond man with a scar running diagonally across his face.

"Hey Seifer," Yuffie said weakly.

"You bitch!" he roared, "I told you to stay away from my wife!"

"Hey!" Yuffie cried indignantly, "She followed me home, not the other way around!"

That wasn't the smartest thing to say because the next thing she knew, Seifer had wrapped his hands around her throat. He was squeezing hard so that her circulation was cut. Her knees buckled, but his grip was tight enough that he supported her weight.

She didn't have a lot of time. She jabbed her thumb into his left eye in hopes that he would let go. Seifer roared in pain and clutched his face. Yuffie dropped to the floor, gasping.

She caught sight of Kairi frozen against the balcony. "Get out of here, Kairi," Yuffie wheezed. When the redhead hesitated, the ninja screamed, "Get the fuck outta here!" Only then did Kairi run.

'_At least Kairi won't get hurt,'_ she thought as she started to crawl away.

Yuffie wasn't so lucky. Seifer grabbed her by the tie and bashed her face into the balcony railing twice. When she hit the ground he kicked her several times. Yuffie tried to push herself up, but he ground his heel on her right hand. Yuffie screamed.

"That's for the eye, bitch," he snarled before continuing to kick her in the ribs.

Her body twisted over, and her head slipped between two bars of the balcony railing, trapping her. Seifer kept kicking her; her left shoulder and the side of her head kept bashing against one of the metal bars. She tried to get away, but her arms were too weak. Finally the ninja gave up, and Yuffie blacked out.

**xxx**

Yuffie woke up feeling like she had finally taken part in the running of the bulls and was then trampled. "Gaa," Yuffie groaned while thinking_, 'I hope all of those damn bulls were hacked apart by the matador.'_

She opened her eyes and found herself in a hospital bed. A Hispanic nurse was checking her bandages. This made sense, as Yuffie was somewhere in Spain. Yuffie just hoped that her Spanish was up to snuff so she could find out what was going on.

"Dondé estoy?" Yuffie pronounced terribly.

"Ah, you're awaked, Ms. Kisaragi," the nurse said speaking in perfect Japanese, "The doctor will be in shortly."

'_What the fuck?'_ Yuffie thought, watching the nurse leave. A moment later a short pudgy man with brown hair and glasses entered the room. He beamed at her.

"It's good to see you awake, Ms. Kisaragi," he said, "I am Dr. Cid Kramer. You took a bad bashing and—"

"Where's Kairi?" Yuffie broke in.

"Who?" Dr. Kramer asked.

"Is Kairi okay?" Yuffie asked, "Did the bulls get her too?"

"You weren't hurt by bulls, Ms. Kisaragi," Dr. Kramer said, "You were beaten by a man. Now who is this Kairi?"

Everything from before came flooding back. "Did Seifer hurt her? I swear if he hurt her I'll kill him!" roared Yuffie, "Nobody hurts my girl and gets away with it!"

"Is Kairi your child?" Dr. Kramer asked.

"My girlfriend," Yuffie hissed, "Now if she isn't hurt, why isn't she in here?"

"Well," Dr. Kramer said, scratching his head. "Since your condition is so serious, the hospital cannot allow non-family members in to see you."

Yuffie stared at him. "You won't let my girlfriend, who loves me dearly and must be very worried about me, in to see me because of some stupid ruke?

Dr. Kramer smiled weakly. "I'm sorry, but that's hospital policy." Changing to an official tone, the doctor continued, "You've suffered several serious injuries, Ms. Kisaragi. Four of your right rib have been broken and your collarbone on the left side has been cracked. Four of your fingers on your right hand are also broken, which is why your entire hand is in a cast." He looked back down at his clipboard before continuing, "You had a lot of internal bleeding which we have been able to stop. Still, we are worried about your larynx, since it was severely bruised."

"Okay." Yuffie nodded. "So when do I get outta here? Later today, maybe tomorrow?" she asked, scratching her head with the non-bandaged had.

Dr. Kramer laughed. "My dear, you just woke up from a three day coma. You are pumped full of Demerol and if you weren't, you would be withering in pain. I don't foresee you leaving this hospital bed for weeks."

"You have got to be shitting me," Yuffie growled.

"Get some rest," Dr. Kramer said, "You'll need it." He left her in the room alone.

'_This is so fucked up; I'm outta here,'_ Yuffie thought, grimacing at the possibility that Seifer could be out there attacking poor Kairi. She had to go find her and make certain that she was safe. _'Sure Kairi was book smart, but her survival skills were bad and fighting skills even worse,'_ Yuffie thought bleakly_, 'If Seifer was on the loose, she wouldn't survive if he decided to give her a beating._'

Yuffie pulled the little patches off her right arm. The hair ripping would have been painful, but she was so doped up Yuffie didn't feel a thing. She would have to use her teeth to get the cords out of her left arm. There were two of the large needles: one was connected to a cord filled with red stuff, and the other yellow. Yuffie tried gently to pull out one of the cords, but it was too securely wedged into her arm.

'_Screw it,'_ she thought, glaring at the cords_, 'that quack'll be back before I can get away if I take the time to pull these out.'_ She looked around and noticed that the tubes were connected to pouches on the top of a metal stand. There were wheels on the bottom of the metal stand. Yuffie grinned._ 'Bingo.'_

She hopped out of bed and hit the floor hard. "Oww," she groaned and got unsteadily to her feet using the bed and metal stand. It was then that she noticed a cord coming out from beneath her gown. It connected to another pouch that was tucked on the side of the bed. _'Pee bag,'_ she grimaced as she nimbly unhooked the pouch from the bed. Adding it to the metal stand, Yuffie determined that she was finally ready to leave.

She crept up to the door and peeked out into the hallway. It was full of doctors, nurses, and patients, plus stands full of medical supplies. She figured that if she kept her cool, she could blend in and seem like one of the patients who weren't bed ridden.

Yuffie rubbed her nose. Tears welled up and she nearly yelped in pain. _'The bastard broke my nose,'_ she thought angrily, eyes turning into slits. _'Seifer will pay. Oh, yes he will.'_

She slunk into the hallway and moved away from her room as quickly as her stitches would allow. After she was several feet away from the room, she slowed down, stood up straight, and pretended that she wasn't in a ton of pain.

She made it about half way down the hallway before she bumped into a nurse. While the nurse stared at her bruises and tried to steady the ninja, Yuffie panicked. She refused to be caught in such a stupid manner; it would be an insult to her ninjutsu training.

She pulled a needle off of one of the carts and quietly ripped the paper off it. It looked quite sharp. Yuffie carefully uncapped it and grabbed a second one off the cart. She knew she'd need another to escape all of these idiots who didn't know the first thing about how to take care of her. After all, she was the Great Ninja Yuffie.

"Sorry about—" the nurse started before she saw the naked needle. The nurse stared at Yuffie, fear clearly in her eyes. Yuffie stared back, like a cobra ready to strike. The nurse made a lunge for the needle. Yuffie jabbed it into the nurse's shoulder, making the woman scream in pain. The nurse hit the ground in a cold faint. Yuffie stumbled past the body and started down the hall. She felt something trickle down her legs; she must have ripped something scrambling over the nurse.

'_I guess that means I can't climb through the air vents'_ She smiled wryly_, 'Time for Plan B: bolt out the front doors,'_ Yuffie thought with grim determination. Her escape was going to be a lot harder than she thought it would be.

The pursuit was on. Doctors tried to stop Yuffie, but she waved her second needle in their faces. She lied and said that she got it from the used needle bin; that was much more effective than waving a clean needle around. When she was still a fewyards away from the double doors to the lobby, she looked back to see two beefy male nurses in protective gear bearing down on her.

"You'll never take me alive!" Yuffie screamed and redoubled her efforts to get to the lobby. She began to plan rapidly. _'They'll stop chasing me once I get into an elevator. There I can escape through the elevator's ceiling, and slide down the other elevator's cable to the basement floor and get out the maintenance door...'_

Unfortunately Yuffie's broken body was not cooperating with her grand plans. It slowed Yuffie down to a snail's pace. The only reason the nurses hadn't caught her yet was all of the equipment and patients in the way.

Yuffie hit the double doors. One of them popped open, but then shut when she was halfway through, hitting her bad side. Yuffie screamed in agony. A nurse firmly grabbed her around the waist, and started pulling her back into the hallway.

"Help!" Yuffie yelled as she clung to the doors. Every time the nurse pulled, the other door would hit her side. It hurt like hell, but she refused to be dragged back until she knew Kairi was safe. "Help! Murders! Somebody save me, damn it!"

The visitors in the lobby all stared in sheer horror. "Yuffie?" a voice called. It sounded like Kairi's. Yuffie glanced frantically around, but she couldn't spot the redhead anywhere. She did see Dr. Kramer hurrying towards her, however.

"Oh, Kairi, where are you?" she wailed.

Dr. Kramer reached her side. He was holding a needle. "Now, now, Ms. Kisaragi. This will only take a moment and then you'll feel much better. You've been a bad girl and ripped your stitches." He reached out toward Yuffie, needle in hand.

Yuffie bit him.

Dr. Kramer yelped and dropped the needle. Yuffie batted the thing away with the metal stand. She growled at him and tried to bite him again. Dr. Kramer slapped her. Yuffie hit him with her hand in the caste. Dr. Kramer hit the floor, knocked out. Yuffie slumped back, beginning to feel her terrible weakness.

She yelled again for the redhead. Then she saw her, coming out the gathering crowd. The girl looked haggard, and was still wearing the dress from the party.

"Kairi!" Yuffie gasped.

"Yuffie…" she mouthed, but Yuffie still understood what she was saying. Kairi rushed over to the wounded girl. "What the hell are you doing?" the redhead whispered in amazement, cupping Yuffie's cheeks.

"Looking for you," Yuffie replied. Then something, or rather several somethings, poked her rear. Yuffie's eyes rolled back and she collapsed in Kairi's arms.

**xxx**

Yuffie woke up again in a hospital bed. This time there were restraints on both of her wrists. Kairi was also present. She sat in a chair next to the bed reading one of her law journals.

"Kairi?" Yuffie rasped. Her mouth felt terribly dry.

"Shh. Don't speak," Kairi said gently as she picked up a glass of water. Bending the straw for Yuffie to drink, Kairi continued, "They've given you enough pain meds to put down a rhino."

Yuffie let the straw fall from her mouth when she finished. "You're in here this time," she whispered, smiling.

Kairi snorted. "They figured this was better than you trying to escape again. Really Yuffie, what were you thinking trying to leave the hospital? You almost killed yourself again."

"I had to save you from Seifer," Yuffie retorted defensively. It was unfair that her girlfriend was badgering her when she was only trying to keep her safe.

"Seifer is in prison for assault and battery," Kairi said firmly, "And you're staying here, in the hospital." Seeing Yuffie's hurt puppy-look softened Kairi's stern face. She sighed and lightly stroked Yuffie's face. "You're just so badly hurt, Yuf," she murmured, "I just don't want to see you dead."

"That's not gonna happen," Yuffie barked. "I'm too tough to die."

Kairi gave her a small smile. "Demerol often makes people paranoid delusional. I guess since you're already paranoid and a little delusional—

"Hey!" Yuffie cut in.

"—you had a more severe effect than most," Kairi said. "They don't want you playing Houdini again, so they've switched you over to morphine. And added restraints."

Yuffie nodded, not certain why that would matter. "Hey, Kairi?" she asked.

"Hmm?" Kairi replied as she adjusted the older girl's blankets.

"You're not going anywhere, right?" Yuffie asked worriedly.

Kairi grinned. "Course not. I'll be here long after you've gotten sick of seeing my ugly mug."

"Your mug's not ugly," Yuffie giggled, "Can you read me a story?"

As an answer Kairi opened her journal and began to read. She paused once to kiss Yuffie's forehead, but otherwise she voice flowed serenely through the room. Yuffie fell asleep to the redhead's rhythmic words as Kairi read out loud about the environmental policies involving shoopufs.

* * *

So that was chapter 8. Again, I am very sorry for all of the delays. Still, my little Imp of Creativity loves feasting on reviews and they truly help us write. Reviews are requested, I've also turned on that little function that allows people to to respond anonymously in case that was hindering their response. 


	9. Cookies, Chick Flicks, and Champagne

Metal Chocobo: Merry Valentine's Day everybody. As I promised some of you, here is chapter nine for Valentine's Day. It took a little while to get it perfect, but I think everyone will like it. This chapter is a little different than the others, but it's still all good, so have fun and read.

DISCLAIMER: We've gone over this, I'm don't own Kingdom Hearts and I don't get any money from it. I really wish I did, but I don't.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 9: Cookies, Chick Flicks, and Champagne **

"I just don't get it, Kairi; why won't Roxas go out with me?"

"Maybe it's because you wear shirts like that, Axel," Kairi smirked, pointing at Axel's shirt. It said 'I'm an equal opportunist slut' in bold green lettering.

Axel clutched the shirt desperately. " But I've had this shirt for years," he cried, "I couldn't possibly part with this expression of me!"

"And how long have you been trying to get into Roxas' pants for?" Kairi asked dryly. "Shut up and eat your misery-ice cream," she ordered waving her spoon at him.

Axel glared at her as he took three big scoops and shoved them all in his mouth.

"That shirt is lewd, crude, and so not Roxas' type. You know that," Kairi admonished as she grabbed a handful of gummy worms.

They were flopped on the couch watching cheesy chick flicks and eating various junk foods, although most of it was chocolate in nature. Axel didn't look it, but he was a huge fan of sappy romance and when Kairi lived with him for three months they watched at least a film a night. Tonight was their traditional monthly movie fest night that usually coincided with the worst crap in both of their lives.

"Just because you have Yuffie doesn't mean you can act all high and mighty," Axel snapped, "If it wasn't for me, you two wouldn't be together."

"Oh really?" Kairi asked, taking another mouthful of her rocky road. "Do explain."

"If you weren't staying with me, you would never have had your first date with Yuffie and fallen in love. I made that happen, kiddo," Axel said snapping his fingers in Kairi's face. He took another bite of his choco-monkey ice cream. "Come on Kairi," he added, "Valentine's Day is in three days and I've been trying to get Roxas to agree to one lousy date for the last four years. I need your help, oh wise guru."

Kairi rolled her eyes. Axel was far too dramatic sometimes, but he wouldn't be Axel if that weren't the case. _'If I don't help him now he'll be bugging me about it for the next twenty years,'_ Kairi thought with a sigh.

"Tell you what, Axel, let me change my tampon and then you can tell me all about how you've been pursuing Roxas," Kairi said before setting up and hurrying to the bathroom.

When Kairi returned to the living room she found that Axel had sprawled himself across the couch. He grinned lazily at her and drawled, "So doc, where do I start?"

"I'm not a psychiatrist, Axel, although you should see one." She flopped onto Yuffie's armchair. "Tell me how you've been trying to win Roxas over," she ordered.

"Well I've been in love with Roxy since I was, I dunno, twelve or so. I've memorized every possible detail I've ever learned about him." Axel sat up and rubbed his temples. "I show up at least daily either at his dorm, work, or classes."

"What do you usually say to him?" Kairi asked. _'I sound like Freud,'_ she thought laughing silently.

"I kid around with him a lot. Like, I tease him about his height, hair, looks, that scrawny little body, and the way he always has his nose in a book… you know, all the normal best friend stuff," he said trailing off. Axel was silent for a moment before laughing bitterly, "Roxas is just a scrawny little bookworm and I love him for it, ya know?"

"Does he even like guys?" she asked popping another worm into her mouth.

"Oh yeah," Axel chuckled, "Roxas likes books and boys. Those are his two loves. He's always reading some shit in French or German or something. I remember him reading the Iliad last year."

"Iliad's Greek," Kairi said without thinking.

"Whatever," Axel sniffed. He pulled a cigarette out with his lips and flipped open his lighter. Glancing at Kairi he asked, "Can I smoke?"

"No!" Kairi yelled. Axel grimaced, but shoved his lighter back into his jacket. Sighing she said, "I'm no expert, but I think you're a lot like Riku. He loves Sora, I mean why else would he have married him last summer, but he always teases and picks on him. Riku loves to tease those he cares about just like you, Axel."

"So I'll be okay?" Axel said, grinning, "Riku got Sora, so I'll get Roxas."

"Umm…" Kairi mumbled, scratching the back of her head, "I don't think it works that way. I mean Sora looks up to and adores Riku, while Roxas has never had either of those feelings toward you. Riku still shows that he cares about Sora even though he teases him all the time. Do you show Roxas affection?"

"I give him noogies and punch him in the arm sometimes," Axel nodded eagerly. His facial expression reminded Kairi strongly of an excited puppy.

"Roxas is a man of language and culture," she said, "He possess culture and learning, both of which he highly respects. You possess neither, Axel. You've never even read an entire book!"

"Hey!" Axel yelped defensively.

"Well it's true," Kairi replied, "Look, let me put this in terms you'll understand. You know Harry Potter, right? Seen the third movie?"

"Yeah, so?" asked Axel starring at her.

"You are Sirius Black and Roxas is Remus Lupin. He's cultured and you're an ex-con. You two are meant to be together, I don't care what Rowling says, it's the truth," Kairi took a breath and continued, "But in order to get Lupin, you have to woo him."

"I have to what?" Axel squawked.

"Court, pursue, _seduce_," Kairi clarified, while waving her hands. "Do you know 'seduce'?"

A slow grin spread across his face. "I know 'seduce,'" he breathed, smirking devilishly.

"Great, but we're doing it my way," Kairi said firmly. When Axel scowled she glared at him and added, "Well, your way hasn't been working."

Axel sighed. "Fine," he said, looking at Kairi forlornly. "Tell me what to do to make Roxas fall madly in love with me. Please, my wonderful cousin."

Kairi grinned and leaned forward. "Okay, so here's what we're gonna do."

**xxx**

"Kairi, I look stupid," Axel whined as he struggled at his tie.

"You look great, Axel," Kairi, said adjusting her cousin's shirtfront. She licked her thumb and carefully smoothed down Axel's bangs. "Now be nice, be yourself, and for the love of god don't forget your Yeats," she ordered.

Kairi scurried away from Axel, leaving him outside of Roxas' dorm building. She hid in some bushes and eagerly waited to see her plan unfold. About five minutes after Kairi hid, Roxas showed up.

"Axel, what are you doing here?" he asked, running a hand through his spikes. He was returning from class and was still in his uniform. Staring at the suit Roxas asked, "And why are you in a suit? Did someone die?"

"I—" Axel stuttered, staring at Roxas like a goldfish. "Tiger, tiger, burning bright In the forests of the night, What immortal hand or eye Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?" he rattled off.

Kairi rubbed her forehead. _'That's Blake, Axel, Blake. What happened to the Yeats I spent the last three hours teaching you?'_

Roxas stared at him, brow furrowed. "What?" he finally asked, inspecting Axel shrewdly.

"Yeats; it's Yeats," Axel squeaked, much to Kairi's fury. He stiffly wrapped an arm around Roxas' shoulders. "Roxy, baby," he laughed nervously as he fumbled in his suit jacket pocket. "Do you want to umm…" he glanced down at the tickets he pulled out of the pocket, "want to see the Phantom of the Osprey?"

Roxas' dazed expression left his face as his eyes brightened happily. "_You're_ taking me to the Phantom of the Opera?" he asked laughing.

Axel looked taken aback slightly. "Well if you don't want to go I can take Kairi or Larxene or something," Axel muttered, pulling away. "You probably have plans or something tonight."

"No, no," stammered Roxas grabbing Axel's hand, "I'd love to go with you. Just let me get out of my uniform and we can go," he said grinning brightly.

Roxas ran into his dorm building, leaving Axel on the stoop. The wiry redhead blinked and grinned dazedly like he had been hit across the back of his head by a frozen cod.

Kairi climbed out of the bushes and hugged her cousin around the waist. "Somebody has a date with Roxas," she teased.

"And somebody has leaves in her hair," Axel snickered back. Kairi glared at him and socked him in the arm. Axel laughed giddily and hugged Kairi back. "Thank you," he whispered into Kairi's ear, "Thank you so much."

'_Any time, Axel, any time,'_ she thought, smiling as she carefully brushed Axel off. "Just don't do anything too stupid and you'll be fine, Axel," she said softly, "The rest of the date is up to you since I won't be there to baby-sit you."

"Going off to get some Yuffie-loving?" Axel asked, leering slightly.

"I wish," Kairi sighed, "There's still two weeks before the last of her casts come off. Believe me, the last month and a half has been hell. At least she can walk on her own again now."

"That really sucks," Axel said, "being in a long term relationship and you can't even get any."

"It could be worse," Kairi sighed, "In fact it's been sort of a learning experience. I had no idea how dependent on sex I had become until Yuffie got hurt. Anyway, enough about me. Good luck, Ax."

As Kairi walked away she thought_, 'You'll need it.'_

**xxx**

Yuffie's woozy, "I'm not Kairi," was the first thing Kairi heard when she woke up.

"What the hell?" Kairi responded groggily.

"Some asshole wants you," Yuffie yawned, "Can I hang up on him?"

"Go for it," Kairi mumbled snuggling into Yuffie's chest.

Yuffie hung up the phone and kissed Kairi's forehead. There was a moment of blissful silence that the girls were able to cuddle in. Kairi had almost been lulled to sleep by Yuffie's steady breathing when her phone went off again.

Kairi let out a string of unintelligible curses as she flipped open her cell phone when it went off again. "What?" she snapped angrily into the electronic device.

"Kairi, I really fucked up," Axel moaned into the phone.

Kairi quietly counted to ten and imagined strangling Axel. She sighed, "What happened?" Yuffie quietly wrapped her arms around Kairi and snuggled her nose into the dip between her shoulders.

"First I fell asleep in the middle of opera," Axel started.

"That isn't bad," Kairi said brightly, "Roxas understands you aren't a big theater buff."

"When I woke up I then managed to accidentally set a curtain on fire," Axel continued.

"Oh…" Kairi trailed off, "…that's bad."

"Then at the restaurant a waiter tripped and dumped boiling soup on Roxas. Then I found out I had managed to tuck the tablecloth into my pants. I realized this because when I got up to help him get the stuff off, the tablecloth came up and dumped all of the dishes and food on Roxas' lap," Axel lamented, "Roxy is so pissed at me."

"Look, Axel, I'm really sorry, but I need sleep to function," Kairi said, "Can you call me after dawn?"

"Oh, okay," Axel said softly and hung up.

Several hours later, Kairi was again woken up by a phone call. "What do you want?" she snarled.

"Kairi, is that any way to talk to your mother?" the voice demanded.

"Mom?" Kairi asked, stifling a yawn. "Ah, hi Mom. What gives me the pleasure of this phone call?"

"Much better, Kairi," Mrs. Hart said, "Now I've found five potential donors for you. Three of them are smart, successful, handsome men. One of them is remarkably similar to your Yuffie if you want my grandchildren to seem like a mixture of the both of you. There there's one like you in case, and heaven forbid this, you can't bare children."

'_What the hell is she talking about?'_ Kairi thought asking. She verbalized her thoughts to her mother in a more polite way.

"Donors, sperm donors," Mrs. Hart said, "You're giving me grandchildren you know."

"I'm eighteen Mom, I'm not having kids yet," Kairi said angrily, "I haven't even finished my first year of college! I can't take care of a baby now!"

Yuffie poked her head out of the bathroom. "What's this about a baby?" she asked curiously.

Kairi glared at her lover and ordered her to shush while wagging a finger.

"Don't shush me young lady," Mrs. Hart reprimanded.

"I'm not shushing you mom, I'm shushing Yuffie," she said. "Look, I'll talk to you later mom. I don't care what your master plan is, I am _not_ getting a sperm donor."

Kairi hung up the phone feeling flustered. Yuffie crawled into bed and snuggled up to the redhead. She gently rubbed Kairi's belly and looked up at her hopefully. "So we want have a baby?" Yuffie asked trying to keep her face blank. "I can't imagine us having kids right now, I mean you're barely even legal yet. And let's face it; I'd make a really crappy mom. I'd probably let the kid climb into the oven or something."

Kairi laughed. She could see Yuffie playing hide and seek with a small child that ended up in an oven. It wasn't really funny—child endangerment was a terrible thing and Kairi would be horrified if it actually happened—but Yuffie was trying to cheer her up, and it worked.

"I feel like everyone wants to get me knocked up," she commented as she petted Yuffie's head.

"That's because they do," Yuffie said cheerfully. The ninja crawled up a little so that they were cheek to cheek. "Kairi, I totally understand the whole 'not wanting to have kids thingy," she added.

"It's not that I don't want kids," Kairi continued, " I mean I always imagined having two or three brats of my own when I was growing up. I just… want to wait until I'm older, preferably after I'm out of college."

Yuffie grinned, "I'm just glad you want kids someday. I want kids too, but you know, we'll have to watch out for open ovens and stuff." She kissed Kairi's collarbone and asked, "So do you wanna practice making some?"

Kairi stared at her. "I am not sticking a tube connected to a container of sperm into my vagina," she said.

"What?" screeched Yuffie, "I was talking about sex. What are you talking about?"

"Artificial insemination. You said you wanted to practice making some and that is the way we'd have to make them," Kairi smirked.

"I really want to have sex with you. So can we please?" Yuffie pleaded.

"Nope, you've still got two broken ribs and a broken arm. I'm not having sex with you until your casts are off," Kairi said firmly. She added after a moment, "and your casts have to be removed by a licensed professional."

"But that's not fair," Yuffie whined rubbing Kairi's sides, "and… and you're not just punishing me, this hurts you too since you like sex too. Right, Kairi?"

Kairi laughed and kissed Yuffie. "Of course I miss the sex, but I'm teaching you a lesson not to do stupid things. Like trying to escape a hospital while being pumped full of pain meds and having recently suffered a beating," Kairi teased.

"They wouldn't let me see you," Yuffie huffed, "or rather they wouldn't let you see me."

"That's still a bad excuse, Yuffie." Kairi kissed the older girl's nose. "Now I've got to go kill my cousin. Love ya!"

"Love ya too, babe," Yuffie chimed, pinching Kairi's rear as the redhead got up from the bed. Kairi rolled her eyes, but she was trying not to smile.

**xxx**

"Thank you so much for all the help," Axel said again, "but are you sure this'll work?"

"No, I'm not sure, but do you have a better idea?" Kairi responded as she carefully tied together the bow.

She had just spent the last several hours instructing Axel in the ancient art of cookie baking. He wasn't very good at it, Axel preferred to eat the product rather than make it, but Kairi refused to make his love cookies. Since the kitchen was in shambles from the several dough explosions, Kairi was really glad they had used his kitchen rather than her own. Neither was certain how half scorched, half frozen batter had managed to make its way into all of the counter's drawers.

"No, but do you think he'll like butterscotch cookies?" the older redhead asked. Axel had settled on making butterscotch cookies after the third batter blow up. They had lost another two batches before he finally had some workable cookies. Kairi found them surprisingly good, especially the fact that they were a light pink color from the cinnamon candies Axel had mixed into the dough. Perhaps if he wasn't so lazy, Axel could quit his dead-end job, go back to school, and become a chef.

"I'm certain he'll love them," Kairi smiled. "They're to die for."

They hurried to Roxas' dorm so Axel could present his gift. When they finally got to Roxas' room, Kairi waited outside so that her cousin could have some privacy.

"Hey Roxy, how's the lap?" she heard Axel ask.

"Scalded," Roxas replied bitterly. "I went to the campus clinic in the middle of the night because it was so painful and it turned out I have a bunch of second degree burns all over my groin. I have this cream I have to rub over my crotch for the next three weeks until they heal."

"That sucks," Axel said. Some springs creaked and Kairi assumed Axel had sat down on the bed.

"Yeah, it does. Every time I move it screams in pain." There was a moment of silence before Roxas asked, "What's in the green box?"

"A present," Axel purred, "for you."

"Really?" Roxas asked suspiciously, "You didn't wrap it, did you? The green paper isn't wrinkled into a million crinkles. Plus there's actually a red ribbon around it. Most of your presents are lucky if they've been totally covered."

"Do you really think so little of my wrapping skills?" Axel demanded. There was a pause; Kairi was pretty certain Roxas was giving him The Look. "Fine, Kairi wrapped it for me." Axel sighed in defeat, "But I made it, so there."

Wrapping crinkled and was ripped off the cookie tin noisily. The tin was shaken for a moment before Axel yelled that he'd break the contents. The tin lid came off the box with a loud pop.

"You made me cookies," Roxas said surprised.

"Yup," Axel said, in his 'I'm wonderful' voice. "What did you think I made?"

"I dunno," Roxas replied, "Maybe something like a pinecone with googly eyes glued on that you'd be able to burn in three weeks. Cookies… take effort."

"You don't think I put effort into stuff?" Axel asked.

"Axel, if you put effort into stuff, you wouldn't have failed eleventh grade. Twice," Roxas deadpanned.

"Just try a fucking cookie," Axel snapped. "I worked damn hard on those things and you're gonna like them. They're butterscotch."

Kairi peeked around the doorframe to watch Roxas carefully pick up a cookie. He held it up to examine it carefully and asked, "It won't explode when I take a bite out of it, will it?"

Axel glared at him. Roxas smiled sheepishly and carefully took a small nibble of the cookie. He held a hand under his chin to catch any crumbs. He sat staring pensively off into space for a moment, tasting. Axel stared eagerly, looking for any reaction. Finally Roxas swallowed and smiled at him.

"These are really good," Roxas smiled. "I'm impressed."

Axel preened at the compliments and happily watched Roxas gobble down several cookies. After a few minutes Roxas paused and stared at Axel. He looked a little red.

"Hey, you shouldn't bolt down those cookies like that, you could choke," the older man said, slapping the younger on the back.

"What are in these cookies?" Roxas whispered. He looked sick.

"Butterscotch," Axel said looking a little worried. "You like butterscotch, don't you?"

"They're pink," Roxas stated. "What's in them? Is there cinnamon? I need to know, Axel."

"Well yeah," Axel said blinking, "That's what made them pink."

'_Oh fuck,'_ Kairi thought realizing what was happening. She flipped open her cell phone and dialed 9-1-1.

"Axel," Roxas rasped, "I'm allergic to cinnamon, like deathly allergic."

"Shit," Axel yelled, tossing the cookies in the trash.

Kairi quietly spoke to the operator about what to do. She was told to get Roxas out of the dorm building so that the ambulance could pick him up.

"My throat's closing up," Roxas said, panting, "Axel, I've got an epi-pen in my sock drawer, get it for me—"

Axel hurriedly scrambled through the sock drawer until he found the pen. He turned to hand it to Roxas, but he noticed the blond had closed his eyes and was barely breathing. Axel fumbled with the pen, trying to uncork it, but he couldn't. When he finally managed to get off the cap, he was fumbling so badly he stabbed himself in the hand and emptied half of the contents into himself.

"Fuck!" howled Axel.

"Forget it, Axel," Kairi ordered, "Grab Roxas and let's go. We have to meet the ambulance at the north entrance." Axel picked up his crush and they hurried to meet the paramedics.

They had to wait several minutes for the paramedics to arrive. When they finally showed up, they quickly stuck Roxas with an algerizic to combat the reaction. They then loaded him onto the gurney. Axel was allowed to ride with Roxas because of his hand. Kairi followed in Axel's car.

They spent several hours at the ER before Roxas was released. He didn't look too much worse for wear, although he still had some hives.

Axel followed him as he was carefully wheeled out of the hospital. He had his hand bandaged up from the pen stab.

"Hey Kairi," Roxas said tiredly as they exited the hospital, "Care to give me a ride home?"

"Of course," Kairi said. "We had no idea that you were allergic."

Roxas shrugged, "I found out when I was eight after having a box of that cinnamon cereal. It took me two weeks to eat the whole thing and I spent the entire time with hives." He smiled cynically, "Don't worry about it, Kai, what's a near death experience between two friends? I'm just amazed that Axel baked me something."

"Do you want me to spend the night with you?" Axel asked. "You know, in case you have another attack."

Roxas shook his head tiredly. "Allergies, or at least my allergies, don't work that way," he explained. "Besides, I think you've tried to hurt me enough this week."

Axel was crushed. Kairi tried to think of something funny when she left him at his house, but nothing came to mind. '_Having your crush think you were trying to kill them really sucks,'_ Kairi thought as she rode the bus home. She was very glad she didn't have Axel's problem.

**xxx**

"I'm going to tell him," Axel announced.

They were sitting on a couple of lawn chairs on Twilight University's grounds. Despite the fact that there still was a lot of snow everywhere, it really was quiet comfortable. Kairi shifted slightly so she could look at her cousin.

"How are you going to tell him?" she asked, stretching.

"I dunno, but I'm gonna tell him today," he said, getting up from his lawn chair.

"Well, do you want my help setting things up?" Kairi inquired.

"Mmm-hmm," Axel mumbled. "Meet me back here when it gets dark. Bring fireworks."

"Alright, I will obtain fireworks and return at sunset," Kairi swore. She stood up, turned around on her heel, and left.

She bought some sparklers at a stand and hit a library. She had a huge history test in a few days so she spent several hours studying. Afterwards, she wandered around town until it got dark out. Finally, she headed back to where Axel specified.

'_What the hell?'_ she thought as she reached the lawn chairs.

Instead of two chairs surrounded by snow, the chairs were in a circle of dry brown grass ringed by lit torches. There were also little Japanese paper lanterns in the trees encircling the ring. There was a distinctly tropical feel to the setup. Axel stood in the center wearing a pair of red trunks with floral print and sandals.

"Hey Kairi," Axel called out, waving as she jogged up to him.

"What are you doing, Axel?" Kairi inquired, unzipping her jacket, "I mean this is… wow."

"I called Roxas a few minutes ago and asked him to meet me here. Can you help me set up the fireworks?" Axel asked, stretching out his hand for the explosives.

"I was only able to get some sparklers," Kairi admitted sheepishly, handing over the box.

Axel frowned as he took the box from Kairi. Shrugging, he said, "Well, this'll do. Thanks, Kairi, I'll probably get my ass handed to me in a few minutes, but at least he'll know."

Kairi smiled and said, "I hope everything works out for you, Axel."

Axel grinned widely, but then looked past her, clearly scared. "Roxas,' he whispered in terror. Kairi was picked up and thrown into the nearby bushes. Cursing quietly, Kairi righted herself so that she could watch what would happen.

"Axel?" Roxas called out suspiciously, "Why did you want to meet me to meet you here?"

"Hey Roxy," Axel greeted cheerfully, "I figured that since we both didn't have dates for Valentine's Day, we could party together."

"Did you know that Valentine's Day was originally meant for people to confess their love for someone?" Roxas asked. He grinned as if enjoying a large joke. "So the whole 'we're totally in love and must go out and express it' thing is incredibly stupid. Valentine's Day is meant for the losers who are single to go out and find someone."

"Really?" Axel said grinning. "That's cool. So what do you think of my set up?"

Roxas looked around the ring of fire and tiki lamps noticing it for the first time. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. When he could finally speak again he said, "You know the campus security guards are gonna kick your ass when they see this. You've killed…" he broke off quietly calculating. "…Eighty-one pi squared feet of grass. I'm certain that one of the trees will spontaneously combust soon."

"I like fire," Axel whined defensively. "Besides, what sort of party would you have?"

"I dunno. I guess this is fine," Roxas sighed as he gingerly sat down on a lawn chair. "So what kind of pathetic Valentine's Day party are we having? Are you doing a fire dance for me?"

Axel smirked and sat down next to Roxas. "I thought I'd juggle fire instead. Do you want some champagne?" He waved a bottle, trying to entice his friend.

Roxas frowned. "I live in a substance free dorm, Axel, I'm not drinking your booze."

"Oh," Axel said before accidentally dropping the bottle, "Shit—" The bottle cracked and the alcohol bubbled out. Axel stared morosely as his booze and chances seeped into the ground.

"I've told you in the past, Ax, booze and I don't get along." Roxas rubbed his parka-covered arms and checked his watch. "Is there a point to this Axel, or can I go back to my dorm? I have a paper on Christina Rossetti's _Goblin Market_ to finish."

"Roxas…" Axel sighed. He stared at the blond for a moment before burying his face in his hands and then running them through his hair. "Roxas… I-I need to tell you something and it's really difficult for me to say."

"What is it?" Roxas asked. He leaned over and touched Axel gently on the shoulder. He noticed that Axel had tears running down from the corner of his eyes. "Hey, don't cry Axel," he said touching the redhead's cheek, "Whatever it is you can tell me. I'm your best friend."

"I," Axel sighed, "I really like you Roxas."

"Yeah, and I like you too," Roxas said grinning and punched Axel slightly in the arm.

"No, I mean I like you, like you," Axel said smiling nervously. "I've loved you for years. I mean years, since I was twelve. I'm sick of hiding it from you Roxas; it really hurts and I want more… I want you."

"Oh," Roxas said quietly. "I had no idea, Axel."

"So you're mad at me, aren't you," Axel said scratching the back of his head.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Roxas asked. "I like you too. I like you a lot, actually."

Axel stared at him. "Are you serious?" he asked, "I mean are you fucking serious? 'Cause if this is some sort of joke, I'm not laughing, I am dead serious."

"I'm serious too. I like you too," Roxas said, smiling warmly now.

"You're serious?" Axel spluttered.

"Yup," Roxas replied.

"Seriously, you're gay for me?" Axel asked dumb founded.

"Yeah, I am," Roxas grinned, "I just always thought you were straight. I mean, you're always talking about all the ladies and conquests you've had. Has any of that been true?"

"Umm, yes. I mean come on Roxy, you know that I'm horny bastard. My heart's always been for you, but my libido hasn't. It can be yours if you want it though," he said hopefully.

Roxas glared at him. Axel grinned sheepishly and held his hands up in surrender.

"I just have one question," Axel added, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Roxas was silent for a long time. "I've liked you for a long time, Axel. I've just never said anything about it since I thought you'd laugh. Or go out with me because you would feel guilty about turning me down."

"But I've been trying to get into your pants for years," Axel countered. "You know I've been trying to get into your pants!"

"Axel!" Roxas yelled, effectively silencing the redhead. He continued quietly. "You try to get into _everyone's_ pants. When we went to Radiant Garden's Historical museum last year, you propositioned every living thing in the building. That includes the security guard that threw us out. And that blind lady's Seeing Eye dog. And then you asked the bronze statues in front of the museum for a… 'Quick fuck in the bushes' as you put it."

"I didn't realize that they were statues," Axel grumbled sullenly.

"They were bright gold, Axel." Roxas rubbed his nose. "Frankly, I don't understand what I see in you."

Axel pounced onto Roxas, knocking him from the lawn chair and onto the champagne soaked ground. "You like me because I'm a sexy, sexy beast." He purred as he licked Roxas' ear.

The younger boy grabbed the redhead by the roots of his hair. Axel yelped and proceeded to wrestle with Roxas. They struggled a little while for dominance before Roxas gave up. Axel straddled Roxas and proceeded to kiss his face.

Kairi sat back and in the bushes and smiled. She was glad that her cousin had found happiness, but she wanted to get out of the bushes before they started doing something worse.

Suddenly a pair of arms encircled her and voice breathed into her ear. "Why Kairi, I had no idea you were such a voyeur."

After Kairi stifled her scream, she whispered, "Shut up, Yuffie." She turned to see her girlfriend and ordered, "Help me out of the bushes. I don't want to be here if they decide to have sex."

The ninja pulled her girlfriend out of the bushes and brushed her off. Grinning brightly she asked, "So are you ready to go? I've got a great surprise planned out."

"Sounds great," Kairi smiled and kissed her, "Just as long as none of it involves either of us getting hurt or over emotional teens." Yuffie grinned and offered Kairi her arm, which Kairi gladly took.

As the girls walked away to start their own date, they could hear some screaming about burns from Axel's fire circle. Yuffie cocked her head and looked at Kairi. "What's he screaming about?" the ninja asked.

"Roxas has second degree burns on his groin," Kairi explained. "I'm guessing that Axel is being a little overeager."

"Ouch," Yuffie winced. She glanced at Kairi out of the corner of her eye. "Do you think we can have some fun of our own? Come on, this is Valentine's Day, Kai. Let's bend the rules a little."

"Well see, Yuffie, we'll see," Kairi smirked. Yuffie squeaked in excitement and pulled Kairi along happily. The girls ran off into the dark for a night of Valentine's fun.

* * *

You all probably would have preferred it to be a more KairixYuffie centric chapter, but I had realized that Axel hadn't appeared since chapter two. So he needed to come back and finally catch Roxas. The Imp of Creativity has had me writing lots of one shots lately, which was fine since I was working with my wonderful editor Rachael on getting this chapter ready. Now however the Imp needs to be refocused on Ordinary Adventures. So any reviews would be much appreciated as they make perfect bait and are wonderful motivators. 


	10. Green Eggs and Guinness

MC: I had promised myself that before I started posting it that I wouldn't allow it to become stressful. However the last couple of chapters I've felt like I've been frantically scrambling to complete. I don't like working under those conditions, especially when I have a bunch of other plot bunnies that demand my attention. So, I'm not killing this story, or anything drastic like that, I'm simply slowing down the pacing. I'll be posting chapters when I feel like it, which will usually be shortly after I finish them. I have other projects that I want to create and finish. So, without further ado, here is chapter 10. I hope you all enjoy it.

DISCLAIMER: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, there would be several pairings in it that Square Enix hasn't even thought about. Sadly, since I don't own it, my pairings aren't canon.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 10: Green Eggs and Guinness**

"Do I have to wear the hat, Yuffie?" Kairi whined.

"Yes," Yuffie affirmed. She carefully tied the matching emerald bow tie concentrating hard enough that she had the tip of her tongue sticking out of her mouth. When the time was adjusted the way she wanted it, Yuffie sat back in the bed and grinned happily.

Kairi crossed her arms and glared at the ninja.

Yuffie laughed and pulled the redhead close. "You're beautiful," she whispered.

Kairi frowned. "I look like a demented elf."

"Na-ah." Yuffie waggled her finger at the younger girl. "You're my little leprechaun and you're supposed to be in all green."

"It clashes with my hair," Kairi deadpanned. "Why do I even have to dress up, anyways? You'd make a great leprechaun; you like causing mischief."

"You're dressing up because it's St. Patrick's Day and we're going to Tifa's bar for corned beef and Guinness," Yuffie explained as she pulled on a green shirt that said 'Kiss Me, I'm Irish.' She grinned widely, "Besides, you love me and I'm leaving in three days to go surf and earn you college money."

Kairi mumbled something about a scholarship, before staring at the shirt. "You do remember that you're not Irish, right?" she asked. "And that you can trace your totally Japanese ancestry back several hundred years?"

Yuffie nodded cheerfully. "I know. I also have one that says 'Kiss Me, I'm a Vampire.' Although that one was really supposed to be a gift, but my buddy didn't want it—he insists that he's not a vampire, which is a total lie—so I kept it." She dug around in her pockets and pulled out two plastic wrapped items.

"What are those?" Kairi asked suspiciously.

"Licorice pipes!" Yuffie proclaimed proudly. "Now come on, I don't wanna be late!" The ninja grabbed the leprechaun and pulled her out of the apartment. They were off to Seventh Heaven's special St. Patrick Day's party.

**xxx**

"Oh, tra-lulu-lulu-lulu-lu," Yuffie sang as she waved her fourth pint of Guinness around. She hadn't actually drunk four pints of beer, it was really only about a cup's worth of beer. This was due to her excessive movement forcing the liquid out of the glass and hurtling through the air. Yuffie also had the bad habit of leaving her drinks all over the bar and then forgetting them. It wasn't a great system, but it did mean she could drink for hours without risking a hangover.

Yuffie had been in the Seventh Heaven for the last several hours, partying with the blue-collar workers that frequented the bar. She was having a lot of fun leaping about the room, but she was also getting tired. Yuffie claimed a barstool across from Tifa and peered good-naturedly at her.

"Hey, hot stuff," Yuffie greeted the brunette.

"Hey, I'm going home with Kairi," Tifa returned as she dried a mug. She was behind the counter tending the bar. "How have you been enjoying the festivities?"

Yuffie grinned and set down her glass. "It's been pretty fun. Everyone keeps demanding that Kairi show them where she hid her pot of gold and she hits them over the noggin." The ninja sighed happily. "She's gonna kill me when we get home."

Tifa laughed. "You really are something, Yuffie."

"I'm glad to see someone's having a good day." Yuffie turned to see Rikku, her best friend, flop across a barstool. "My love life is over!" she wailed.

"Don't feel bad, Rikku, my love life has died and risen from the grave multiple times," Tifa comforted as she set down her glass. "Currently it's dead."

"What happened?" Yuffie asked.

"Oh, you've always known my love life sucks," Tifa started. "First, I dated Cloud for a little bit, you know, but then he went off to military school and he's now gay. Then I dated Squall—or I guess I should call him 'Leon'—for a couple months in college. We went on a double date with Aeris and some guy. She and Leon fell madly in love and got married a year later. Then I dated this guy named Zone for about a year, who was a total loser. We never went anywhere because he kept getting stomachaches. Besides that, there have been one date disasters."

"I had no idea that your love life sucked that bad, Tifa," Yuffie scratched the back of her head. "I was actually asking Rikku that," she laughed before asking Rikku the same question.

"My Gippy cheated on me with a skank!" Rikku cried, throwing herself into Yuffie's arms.

Yuffie hugged her best friend tightly. As she stroked her forehead, Yuffie asked, "Can you tell us what happened?"

Rikku sniffed. "I caught him in bed with Dona!" Then she broke down sobbing.

Yuffie continued to hold the wailing female, uncertain as to what she should do. Aeris or Kairi comforted people. Tifa and Rikku weren't great at comforting people, but at least they could manage it. Yuffie was a clown; she never mastered the skills of consoling someone.

"What's wrong, Yuffie?" Kairi asked, wrapping an arm around the older girl. She leaned in next to Yuffie's ear. "Is Two-K a crying drunk?"

Yuffie shook her head. "Two-K's boyfriend's been bonking a slut and she just caught them going at it," she explained.

This wasn't the best way to say it—Rikku only cried louder. Yuffie yelped slightly and patted her friend's head, while the girl clung to her. Kairi shook her head and pulled the strawberry blonde close. Rikku wasn't picky at this point on who gave her comfort. She clung to the leprechaun suit as Kairi rubbed her back and made soothing noises.

Yuffie scratched the back of her head. She hadn't thought that Gippal would do something like this. Sure he was a bit finky, but Rikku adored him and he seemed to feel the same. Rikku was usually a good judge of character. Maybe there was an explanation, but Yuffie didn't think so. Not if Rikku caught him in bed with Dona.

"Yuffie, let's take her home," Kairi said, pulling Yuffie out of her thoughts.

Yuffie nodded in agreement. She turned to Tifa. "How much do we owe ya?"

Tifa waved her off. "Don't worry about it, you can pay me back later. Just get her home." Tifa glanced at Rikku. "On second thought," she added, "we may just want to stash her upstairs." Tifa referred to her apartment above the bar.

Rikku wiped her eyes on her sleeve. Some people looked radiant when they cried—Aeris was one of them—but Rikku was not among their number. Her watery eyes leaked fluid over the irritated skin around them, marring her make up. Yuffie carefully looked down to see most of Rikku's mascara and lipstick smeared over her shirtfront.

_'This shirt is ruined,'_ Yuffie thought idly as she tugged at the hem. When she realized that she was placing a shirt above Rikku, she felt terrible. The ninja carefully tucked some of her best friend's hair behind her ear.

"You guys don't—don't have to change your plans for me," Rikku hiccupped. She continued to rub her eyes as if that would stop the tears. "I'm fine, really, I just have to stop crying, but these stupid tears won't stop…"

Rikku laughed, but it wasn't her normal infectious laugh. This one was high pitched and choppy. When she finally stopped, Rikku took a deep breath. "I think I need to fix my make up," she said stiffly.

Kairi herded the girl upstairs to the apartment. As soon as they were out of sight, Tifa hissed to Yuffie, "I'm gonna kill Gippal the next time I see him."

A man came up and asked Tifa for another beer. He got one, along with one of the nastiest glares Yuffie had ever seen.

"You know he didn't do anything to us," Yuffie commented as she finished her beer.

Tifa rubbed her temples. "I know I shouldn't be pissed at the customers," she sighed, "I'm just pissed at Gippal. I'm amazed that you aren't seething."

"Oh, I'm plenty mad, I'm just storing it here," Yuffie tapped her gut. "I'm planning on egging his car and house tonight. Then the next time I see him, I'm kicking him in the nads so hard that they fall off, and then I'll have my revenge."

"That's a nice plan," Tifa said, surprised.

Yuffie grinned. "The best part is that he'll think some random drunk egged everything, and there's no way he'll admit to being hurt by a girl."

Yuffie staggered forward when one hundred and something pounds leapt onto her back. She looked up to have Rikku beam down at her. "I'm back and better than ever," the strawberry blonde grinned. While Rikku's eyes were still a little puffy, her make up was redone and she seemed in control of her emotions.

The ninja dropped her best friend onto a barstool. "Geeze," Yuffie grumbled, rubbing her shoulders. "You're really heavy, Two-K."

"Now you know how I feel when you do that to me," Kairi drawled, causing Tifa and Rikku to laugh. Yuffie stuck her tongue out at the redhead. "You're also a lot stronger than I am, so it shouldn't have bugged you," Kairi continued to tease.

"I'm done with men," Rikku declared grandly, waving her arm. She turned to Tifa and grabbed the brunette's hand. "Tifa, you're single, I'm single, so why don't we get together?"

Tifa pulled her hand back. "Two-K, I don't like girls," she reminded her, before adding, "and neither do you."

"That's not important," Rikku dismissed with a wave of her hand. She wrapped an arm around the brunette's shoulders. "We like each other, we're compatible. We can also pick up men together… always wanted to try a threesome."

The three others stared at Rikku. "You've wanted to do a threesome?" Kairi asked, slowly blinking. Yuffie hid a smirk; Kairi clearly hadn't spent enough time with Rikku.

"I'm always up for trying something new," Rikku explained, shrugging. She perked up slightly at some commotion that was in the mass of guys away from the bar.

"See ya later, Tifa," Rikku grinned, kissing the bartender on the cheek. "We're gonna check that out." She pulled Kairi out into the crowd.

"Great, just fucking great," Tifa laughed, wiping the kiss from her face. "I just got picked up by my rebounding friend and neither of us have any interest in each other. I've become the rebound date."

"At least you probably won't have to sleep with her then," Yuffie said brightly.

"She ran off with your girlfriend," Tifa snapped, before apologizing. Clearly she didn't like the idea of dating Rikku.

That's true," Yuffie conceded. She tossed enough Munny on the counter to cover her drinks. "I'm off to catch Kairi and take her to join the St. Paddy's Day jamboree. Keep an eye on Two-K, would ya?"

"Sure thing," promised Tifa. She dismissed the ninja with a wave of her hand. "Scat. I've got drunks to deal with."

Yuffie bounced off into the crowd. It wasn't that hard to find Kairi; she was the only redhead in the room. Currently some guy was schmoozing up to her as she tried not to smack him.

"Hey there, babe," Yuffie called, hopping up to them. "Wanna go catch the downtown party?" she asked, 'accidentally' grinding the barfly's foot into the floor. He really should have known better, it was common knowledge at Seventh Heaven that the girls were together.

"Sure," Kairi replied eagerly, linking arms with Yuffie, "let's go." They quickly left to the join the madness outside.

**xxx**

"Gaa… I have cat hair in my mouth," Yuffie groaned unhappily.

"Good morning, Yuffiekins," Kairi cooed brightly as she sat down next to the grimacing girl. "How is my sweetie feeling after she tried to preen Yuna with her mouth last night?" she asked, stirring her coffee.

Yuffie wiggled enough so that she could peek out of her cocoon at the redhead. Unlike Yuffie's own disheveled appearance, Kairi sat there impeccably dressed and smiley perkily. Yuffie was uncertain how to react to this, since she felt like an undead rat, even though they both spent the night partying. "Did you make a pact with the Devil?" she demanded, trying to ignore her throbbing head.

Kairi laughed. It was a very loud laugh that caused Yuffie to burrow into the bed. When she noticed that she was causing the ninja pain, she stopped and petted Yuffie's head. "You know that I'm a morning person," Kairi reminded gently. "Besides, unlike someone, I didn't consume massive amounts of alcohol."

"The sunlight burns my eyes," Yuffie moaned.

"If you want the blinds closed, you'll have to shut them yourself," Kairi sipped her drink. "I happen to like the light."

Mumbling profanities under her breath, Yuffie fell out of bed. To Kairi's amusement, the ninja crawled across the floor to the window and tried o shut the blinds. It didn't work. Yuffie tugged the cord again, cursing whatever fool designed the blind. It still wouldn't budge: the foul shade had declared war against the Great Ninja Yuffie!

"Oh, you're going down," Yuffie growled. She yanked the cord with all of her might.

"Drop it, Yuffie!" yelled Kairi, jumping up from the bed when the shades started to quake. She yanked the cord out of the older girl's hand and gently tugged one of the strings. The shades instantly closed.

Yuffie stared in amazement. "How did you do that?" she asked, flabbergasted.

"The blinds are designed to close when you pull the left string, and open on the right," Kairi explained.

Yuffie nodded; that seemed to make sense. She crawled back toward the bed to get some more sleep.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kairi drawled. Yuffie had thought that was obvious; the only reason she had gotten out of bed was to shut the blinds. Of course she was going to return to it.

"I'm obeying the bed's siren calls," replied Yuffie. She climbed back into the bed and pulled the covers over her head.

She didn't stay in the blissful dark for long. The covers were ripped from her back. Yuffie sat up and scowled at her girlfriend.

"I'd rather you obey the siren calls of the shower," Kairi grinned wryly. Yuffie continued to scowl. Kairi sighed before pulling the ninja off the bed. "Come on Yuf, you reek of vomit."

"I do not!" Yuffie swalked indignantly.

"Have you smelled yourself?" Kairi demanded. Yuffie cautiously sniffed her shirt and gagged. She looked up to catch the redhead's triumphant gaze.

Yuffie was hustled into the bathroom, stripped, and dunked into a tub of hot water. Apparently Kairi had prepared everything before waking the ninja. Yuffie was then subjected to a scrubbing harder than any she had ever received before in her life. The experience was even more embarrassing due to the fact that the last time she had been given a bath was when she was six.

"Can't I wash my own hair?" Yuffie hissed.

"I assumed this is what you would have wanted." Kairi continued to rub shampoo into the other's hair before adding, "You're always trying to talk me into the bathtub with you."

"That would be romantic," Yuffie protested. "This is demeaning."

"Being a famous surfer and drowning because you fell asleep in the tub would be even worse," Kairi centered. She rinsed her hands off in the bath water. "Hope you don't drown, Yuf."

Yuffie wasn't entirely certain what she had said that was wrong, but she knew something had been because Kairi looked annoyed. It wasn't fun dealing with an annoyed Kairi; she'd ignore Yuffie and refuse to do her laundry. The washing machine scared Yuffie; she had been trapped in one over night due to a game of hide and seek gone bad.

There were also more carnal reasons for not annoying Kairi, but Yuffie really just didn't want to leave home with the redhead mad at her. Fights, especially ones she had to leave in the middle of, always made the ninja feel like she had failed somehow. She didn't like failing.

"Kairi!" Yuffie yelled, climbing out of the tub. She stopped speaking then, uncertain on how to continue. She quickly ran her towel through her hair before swiping it over her limbs to catch the larger amounts of water. Yuffie wrapped the towel around her torso and left the bathroom to find her girlfriend.

Kairi was in their bedroom changing the sheets. The new ones were dark blue and flannel. Yuffie disliked flannel; they made her too warm at night. Kairi always put them on the bed when Yuffie was off surfing. It was another reminder that she was about to leave.

Yuffie bit her lip. "Flannel sheets, huh?" she commented softly.

Kairi glanced at her and smiled gently. "I know you don't like them, but since you're leaving in two days, I figured I may as well put them on now."

"I wish you could come with me," Yuffie whispered, wrapping her arms around the redhead. She buried her head into Kairi's back.

Kairi laughed gently, "I won't get into law school if I miss class." She turned around and cupped Yuffie's face in her hands. I'll miss you, Yuffie, but I don't think I could handle a mongoose in my suitcase," she teased, referring to Yuffie's last Hawaiian visit.

"I'll miss you too," Yuffie stated the obvious.

"Hey, hey, we've still got two full days before goodbye," Kairi frowned at her. She leaned down and kissed her.

It was a soft and chaste kiss. Yuffie thought about turning it into something more, but her head was still throbbing painfully. She gently pushed Kairi away and flopped onto the bed. Kairi sat down next to her.

"What's wrong, Yuf?" she asked.

"My head still hurts," the ninja whined.

Kairi winced slightly. "I forgot," she apologized, before getting up from the bed. She was gone for a minute, returning with a cup of water. "Here, drink this," she ordered.

"I don't wanna," Yuffie refused childishly, pushing the cup away.

Kairi frowned at her. "A hangover is a form of dehydration. The quickest way to get over a hangover is to drink water. You're going to drink this water, even if I have to shove it down your gullet." Yuffie meekly accepted the cup and drank the liquid. Kairi kissed her on the forehead. "I'm sorry you feel ill, love," she added.

"Can we cuddle?" Yuffie asked. Kairi climbed into bed next to her and hugged the older girl. "This is nice," Yuffie giggled.

"Well we can't screw like bunnies all of the time," Kairi replied, eliciting a laugh from Yuffie. "Why don't you call Tifa's and see how Two-K's doing, Yuf?"

"Okey doke," Yuffie agreed. She pulled Kairi down to cuddle and grabbed her phone off the nightstand. "Hey Kairi, do you remember if Tifa's is 6-5-8 or 6-5-9?" she questioned, punching in the first half of the number.

"6-5-8," Kairi clarified.

On the third ring Tifa answered. "Hey Kairi," she greeted. "Did you get Yuffie home alright?"

"This is Yuffie," Yuffie corrected.

"Oh, wow," Tifa exclaimed, "It's the day after St. Patrick's and the Great Ninja Yuffie is awake at 11:30 in the morning?"

"Yes, why yes I am, Lockhart," Yuffie said airly, before laughing. "Look, we were mainly calling about Rikku. How's she doing?"

"She's still sleeping it off in my bed," Tifa replied dryly.

"In your bed, eh?" Yuffie asked grinning. Kairi's eyebrows rose.

"Yes, this was after she puked three times and declared that we couldn't be together anymore because she was secretly in love with the mailman. She then flopped all over my bed so I had to sleep on the couch," Tifa recounted. "This all happened at about four in the morning."

"Wow, so I guess that Two-K is fine then," Yuffie concluded.

"I think she's fine," agreed Tifa. "Now I get to add that my first relationship with a girl lasted ten hours and three pukings."

"You didn't want to date her in the first place!" Yuffie accused.

"True, but it still doesn't change that fact that I've got a pitiful love life," Tifa laughed. "I gotta go, I think my muffins are burning." She hung up, leaving Yuffie with the dial tone

"Two-K's okay, she's sleeping off her hangover," Yuffie summarized. She set the phone on the nightstand before turning her attention to the younger girl. "I wanna go back to sleep now."

"Then go ahead," Kairi smiled. "At least you smell nice now." Yuffie stuck her tongue out at the redhead, who just grinned. Kairi kissed Yuffie's temple. "I'll stick around in case you need me."

"I always need you," Yuffie sighed, snuggling closer. As Kairi petted her hair, the ninja fell asleep, feeling warm and safe. They spent the rest of the day in bed.

**xxx**

Yuffie woke up to find Yuna on her stomach. Yawning slightly, she picked up the chocobo and wandered into the kitchen. While wondering where Kairi was, Yuffie spotted a note on the table. It read:

Hey Yuffie—

I'd love to lay around in bed today and watch you sleep. Sadly, I've got

my chem mid term (with Dr. Zexy) at 8. I've also got an important study

session. So I'll catch you around 4 or so and we can have lunch. I love you!

—Kairi

_'Well this sucks,'_ Yuffie grumbled, crumpling the note. She shoved the note into her pocket, while wondering what she should eat. "What do you think we should have?" Yuffie asked Yuna.

"Wark," Yuna squawked in reply.

"Green eggs and ham it is," concluded Yuffie.

She opened the fridge, looking for eggs and ham. She found the Canadian Bacon right away, but the eggs weren't leaping out at her. Yuna settled down on the kitchen table to nap. The ninja growled as she slammed the refrigerator door shut.

"We're out of eggs," she told the chocobo.

Yuna yawned in response. "Kwe," she cheeped softly.

Yuffie nodded in agreement. "I'm sorry, I know you were expecting green eggs and ham," she apologized, hugging the bird. "At least we still have ham. You like ham, don't you?"

Yuna warked in distress. It seemed that she didn't like the idea of being fed ham.

The surfer-ninja microwaved several pieces of bacon. When they were done, she gave one piece to Yuna and kept the rest to herself. She watched the bird turn her beak up at the ham. Yuna also refused to eat chocolate or ice cream.

She pulled out the note to see if Kairi had written anything else. The back of the note held an amendment, which read:

PS: Give Yuna her Gysahl Greens. They're in the veggie drawer. I don't

want to find out you gave her meat or chocolate, or something like

that. It gives her indigestion.

PPS: Call Rikku—talk to Rikku

Yuffie carefully stuffed the note back in her pocket and transferred the meat, chocolate, and ice cream from Yuna's plate to her own. She got some fresh Gyshal Greens and gave them to Yuna. The chocobo finally started eating.

"Let's not mention this to Kairi," Yuffie whispered, gently stroking the bird's neck.

Yuffie got dressed quickly. Since it was still too early to check on Rikku, she figured she'd pack for her trip. This really meant throwing a week or so worth of clothing in a suitcase, checking her wetsuits for mildew, and carefully packaging her surfboards to keep them safe on the journey.

Packing didn't take long. She spend an hour or so playing with Yuna before leaving the apartment. Yuffie figured that she would do one step better than just calling Rikku: she would visit her instead.

_'Since I know she won't stay with Gippal, she's probably still at Tifa's,'_ Yuffie concluded as she leapt onto a trolley's roof.

She rode along the trolley line for about twenty minutes until she reached Tifa's street. Then Yuffie hopped off, chuckling slightly over the fact that she yet again gotten a free ride. Yuffie always refused to pay when there was a cheaper, more dangerous way.

After she ambled down the street to Seventh Heaven, Yuffie burst in through the front door. "Hello! Tifa! Two-K! You guys around?" Yuffie yelled, peering around the bar. No one was around, so she walked across the room, jumped over the counter, and hurried up the stairs to Tifa's apartment.

Yuffie unlocked the door and entered the apartment. Rikku was flopped on the couch watching TV. Yuffie climbed into the couch next to the blonde and hugged her. "How ya feeling?" she asked.

"Not great," she sighed. "I really miss Gippal." She sat up and looked at Yuffie. "But I refuse to return to a cheater."

"Well that's good," Yuffie nodded. "But where are you gonna live now?"

"I'm living with Tifa until I can get my own place," Rikku explained. "We moved my stuff out yesterday and stored it in Tifa's basement. Know anyone who needs a new roommate?"

"Sorry," Yuffie shook her head.

She got up from the couch and pulled Rikku to her feet. Rikku stared at the ninja, uncertain of what was going on. Yiffie just grinned at her manically.

Rikku was about to ask what Yuffie was up to when the ninja exclaimed, "Let's go egg Gippal's car!"

"What?!" she yelled back.

"Come on, it'll be fun," cajoled Yuffie. "You're my best friend, Two-K, I can't have you down in the dumps. Besides you're also my manager…"

"Leon's your manager," Rikku interjected.

"Co-manager," the surfer amended, sticking out her tongue. "Look, the point is, Two-K, that when you're unhappy, you can't do anything and that makes all of us unhappy. So to get happy again, we have to make Gippal suffer, and the best way to do that is to take vengeance on his car!"

"Okay," Rikku agreed, deciding to get up and do something.

"What?" Yuffie asked, after Rikku had startled her out of her plans.

"I said okay," Rikku laughed, "let's get some eggs and take down Gippal's car!"

"Great!" Yuffie grinned, pumping her fist into the air.

They left Tifa's and ran to the nearest grocery store. Once there they bought two dozen eggs in cash. Yuffie refused to get a receipt. Rikku couldn't stop giggling.

They caught a trolley roof-ride over to Rikku's old neighborhood It wasn't that hard to find Gippal's truck. It was a big, shiney black monster that had flames detailed across the hood. Gippal liked to say that he had driven the thing to hell and back. He spent hours laboring over that truck and he loved it to bits.

"I can't wait to see his precious truck covered in yolk," Rikku smirked. She reached into the plastic bag holding the egg containers.

Yuffie stopped her. "Wait," she hissed. "We don't wanna get caught. They could lift our fingerprints from the egg shells. Put these on." She handed Rikku a pair of black gloves matching her own.

After they both wore gloves, each girl pulled out an egg container. Then the massacre began. Egg after egg hurtled through the air exploding against the glossy finish in a yellow goop. Different splatter patterns formed as the girls threw their eggs at various angles and speeds. Albumin and egg yolk trickled down the truck's hood, spreading the mess everywhere. Chips of eggshell decorated the windows and headlights.

By the time the last egg broke, the truck was dripping with raw egg slime. A small puddle of albumin surrounded the car, although most of the missiles congealed along the truck. The truck smelled revolting as the sun warmed the metal and the raw egg.

"Gippal'll have a stroke when he sees this. The best part is that the eggs will strip the paint off of the truck when Gippal tries to remove them. This is so sweet!" Rikku laughed. She threw her arms around the surfer and whispered, "Thanks Yuffie."

Yuffie laughed and slung an arm around Rikku's shoulders. The girls walked away from their masterpiece. They tossed the egg cartons in the apartment complex's dumpster. "This was nothing for the Great Ninja Yuffie," she boasted. "Now I'm hungry. Who wants Chinese? I want Chinese, do you want Chinese?"

Rikku grinned, "Sure, and as your manager, I'll even pay." They went off to find a Chinese restaurant.

**xxx**

"I still can't believe that you're gonna be gone for a month," sniffed Kairi. She had a death hug on Yuffie's neck.

"Ahh, the month'll fly by so quickly that you'll turn around one day and say 'Yuffie, I thought you'd be gone for at least another week.' Besides, I'll call and write about everything important," Yuffie promised.

Kairi pulled back and gave her a skeptical look. "Oh yes, like the time you called when you won the Atlantis three day surfing circuit. Or when you were taken into custody by the Swiss Guard in Rome." Yuffie winced at both the reminders of when Kairi had to learn about her exploits from the evening news.

"Hey, Squallykins is coming along," Yuffie reminded her girlfriend. "He should keep me in line."

Kairi gave her one last hug and kiss before stepping back. "Be good," she ordered.

As Yuffie boarded the plane, she yelled back, "I won't be bad, Kai!"

Yuffie quickly took her seat and pressed her face to the window. She kept an eye on the redhead for as long as the plane stayed. Even as the plane took off, Yuffie remained at the window. Yuffie stayed at the glass staring down until Hollow Bastion airport was just a tiny speck and Kairi was no where to be seen.

* * *

Anyway, so that was chapter 10. I hope that you all liked it. If you could all be so kind and review, I would be extremely happy. Reviews are extremely wonderful and they give me great happiness and inspiration. I really haven't the faintest idea when chapter 11 will be up, but reviews do help push me to write since they let me know that people actually want to read this story.  



	11. A Pockpocket in Tortuga

MC: Yes, chapter 11 is finally here. Again, I'm sorry that it took me so long to update. At least I was being a little bit productive during this story's wait. I finished a short oneshot that's called Hot Water, which can easily be found through my profile, but enough about that. I want to mention that the Tortuga within this story is mostly made up and I have no idea if it at all resembles the real one. On to chapter 11!

One more side note an anonymous reviewer pointed out that I had picked the wrong sort of genetic disorder for Link in chapter 8 (being the brilliant idiot that I am, I forgot to double check the facts). So it's simply been switched to a vague genetic disorder for his size. I just wanna say thanks for pointing that out because it was a stupid mistake that I shouldn't have made.

DISCLAIMER: Square Enix and Disney own all the characters, plot, ideals, and everything else about Kingdom Hearts. I wish I did, but sadly I don't.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 11: A Pickpocket in Tortuga**

"Oh my God," Kairi screeched.

"You think _that's_ bad?" Rikku laughed, "you should have seen some of last year's wipeouts."

"But there are so many rocks," Kairi whimpered.

The two girls stood on a cliff, along with surfing fans and two of the five judges. It was the second day of the Tortuga surfing competition. Since she was on her spring break, Kairi had flown out to meet up with Yuffie and the others, so that she could cheer her lover on. It didn't seem to be working. Due to the ferocity of the waves, twelve surfers had already dropped out.

Yuffie had been ranked seventh this morning. Kairi wasn't certain where she was now, since the judges hadn't made any official statements yet. Her main hope currently was that they wouldn't have to scrape the surfer off the jagged rocks.

Unlike the beginning of today's events, the crowd was apathetic. Part of the reason was because there was little action besides wipeouts so far. A couple of guys cheered at the crashes, but most of the audience just watched silently.

"Hey look," Rikku hissed, tugging Kairi until she looked at the low beach. "Yuffie's about to go!"

Yuffie strode confidently across the beach. After conferring with the judges for a moment, she hopped into the waves and started paddeling out. One guy started laughing. Rikku smacked him and told them all to hush. Kairi ignored all the commotion; she had to keep her attention on the surfer.

Yuffie paddled out on her belly into the deep waves. Once she was out far enough to have the waves crashing over her, Yuffie crawled to her knees. Then, standing up carefully, she rode the wave. She twisted and turned on the raging surf with amazing skill. It looked like the water was following Yuffie's lead instead of trying to drown her.

Grinning uneasily, Kairi watched her ninja play on the waves. _'Don't crash, Yuf,'_ Kairi thought as she heard her heartbeat in her ears. _'I don't want us to have to spend our break in the hospital. Again.'_

Whatever else may be said about Yuffie, she was a pro. She sliced through the water like it was warm butter. Yuffie performed her entire act with speed and diligence, while maintaining a lackadaisical manner. The surfer finished her ride landing gently in the center of the beach before hopping off.

A cheer rose from the crowd. This was the first decent performance of the day. Kairi carefully scrambled down the side of the cliff to greet Yuffie. What Kairi really wanted to do was rush over, pounce on Yuffie, and scream at her for the stupid risks she took, but dignity held her back. When Yuffie finished with the judges, she bounced over to Kairi, still carrying her board.

"What did ya think, Kairi?" Yuffie asked, grinning gleefully.

The redhead didn't answer, simply pulling Yuffie into a tight hug. Sniffing slightly, Kairi's nose filled with the sent of salt and sea brine.

"Come on, Kairi, let's go," Yuffie whined, shaking the other's shoulder. "You're getting your new sundress all wet."

"So you're saying that my new dress is more important than reaffirming that you're still alive?" Kairi smirked. She knew Yuffie really meant nothing of the sort.

"What? No I-I simply meant," Yuffie fumbled.

Kairi laughed and kissed Yuffie. "I know what you meant," she assured. "And you were great, by the way."

"Wonderful," Leon grumbled. "Now get off the beach." He pushed the two girls toward the beach's parking lot. "The judges only want the current contestant on the beach."

"Then what are you doing here?" Yuffie demanded. "You don't even surf, Squallykins."

Leon growled. It seemed that the ninja's wit was only putting her manager in a more foul temper. Tight black leather would not have been Kairi's first choice for the warm air.

"Come on, Yuffie," Kairi sighed, leading the surfer away. "Let's not antagonize Leon any further. Hey, can you show me around?"

"But of course," Yuffie answered, running ahead.

Kairi followed quickly, glad that she was wearing good sandals. Before exploring, they stashed Yuffie's surfboard with Rikku. Yuffie also changed out of her wetsuit and into a spaghetti strap top and shorts. They had a few hours before Yuffie was due back for the results.

The girls scampered off to town. Tortuga was a boisterous little city. Unlike the other cities Kairi had visited, this one had rowdy piratesque people running around. There were lots of bars, shops, and general chaos or mayhem to be found in the city.

When Kairi commented on this, Yuffie just laughed. "You should see this place at night. People are thrown off the balconies all the time. That's why they've get these liability wavers at all the bars," Yuffie explained.

Kairi stopped and stared. "We are _not_ visiting any bars here," she said.

"But the drinking age is eighteen here," the ninja whined. One glance at Kairi, and she dropped the subject. "Hey I think I see the market!"

A plethora of colors greeted Kairi's eyes. They wandered through the open stalls as the owners loudly hawked their wares. Kairi had fish, blankets, and above all else, rum shoved in her face. One hairy man pulled her aside and started explaining how wonderful it would be to buy a monkey. When she refused his offer, the man got angry enough that Yuffie stepped in and pulled her out.

"I'm amazed you didn't deck him," Kairi said when they had gotten away from the hairy monkey seller.

"Well, I promised you I wouldn't get into anymore fights, unless I had to," Yuffie laughed, putting her hands on the back of her neck. "Of course. I would have kicked that guy's ass if you had wanted me to, but I figured it would have made too much of a seen so I didn't."

"Maybe I should take a class on self defense," Kairi thought out loud.

"I have offered to teach you in the past," Yuffie reminded her.

"I know," Kairi sighed. "It's just you're better at _doing_ Kung Fu and ninjutsu than _teaching_ it. Yuffie—what the hell?"

Yuffie had suddenly dived behind Kairi. She tackled a little boy to the ground. "Okay, punk," she growled. "Give it back." He looked like he was only four.

"Yuffie," Kairi hissed. They were in the middle of a semi busy street. "You can't go around attacking little kids."

Yuffie dragged the boy to his feet. Shaking him slightly she repeated her order. The little boy dropped Kairi's purple wallet into the ninja's outstretched hand. He smiled up at Kairi unsurely.

Small thieving children were not what Kairi had signed up for on this vacation. "How did you notice him doing that?" Kairi asked, still shaken that this small child was already breaking laws.

"You forget that I've got a doctorate in street smarts," she replied cheerfully. She hoisted the boy over her shoulder. "Come on," Yuffie grinned. "Let's get something to eat." She hefted the boy. "I think he needs it more than we do."

They found a café a few blocks away. Yuffie dropped the boy onto a chair and took one for herself. Kairi sat down in a third. Then a waitress sashayed up to them.

"I'll have coco," Yuffie ordered.

At the server's glance, Kairi said, "lemonade."

"Rum," piped up the boy.

"Milk," Yuffie stressed, to Kairi's relief, "for the boy."

When the waitress wandered away, the boy demanded to know why he couldn't have rum. His argument was that since the girls got what they wanted, he should too.

"What's your name, kid?" Yuffie asked.

"Vaan," he answered, sulkily.

"Well Vaan," Yuffie replied. "Alcohol kills brain cells, and frankly, I think you need all the ones you have. What were you thinking, trying to pick-pocket Kairi?"

"That she was an easy mark," Vaan mumbled.

"I am not," Kairi defended herself.

Yuffie smiled at her. "Yes you are, love." The ninja turned her attention back to Vaan. "I want to know why you picked her pocket, when you could clearly see that she was with me." She leaned over the table and looked Vaan in the eye. "Do I look like an easy mark to you?"

Vaan shook his head. "No Ma'am, you look like a pirate."

Yuffie flopped back in her chair grinning silly. "Never been called that before," she thought out loud.

"Being a pirate isn't exactly a good thing," Kairi reminded her.

"Yes it is," Vaan insisted. "Pirates are the awesomest!"

After the waitress returned with their drinks, they ordered their food. When she left again, the conversation continued. For the rest of the meal Yuffie explained how to correctly pick marks and proper snatching techniques.

"Now, I'm a nice person," Yuffie finished, getting up from her chair. "If I wasn't, I could have broken your knee caps. So, what have you learned today?"

"Never got after street smarts, their lovers, or pants with deep pockets," Vaan answered eagerly, repeating what Yuffie had told him. "Umm, Yuffie, what's a lover?"

"Something that if you're really lucky you'll find when you're older," Kairi explained, smiling at the surfer.

Yuffie grinned back, and then her cell phone went off. After flipping it open, Yuffie answered with a, "Hello?"

There was a brief bit of yelling over the phone. Kairi could tell it was Leon, but that was about it. After a few minutes, Yuffie hung up on him. She made a face.

"You're due back?" Kairi guessed.

Yuffie nodded. "I guess we'll have to leave the squirt behind," she sighed, getting up from the table. "I'm sorry we didn't have more time to explore."

"Actually, I'd like to stick around and make certain that Vaan gets home. This isn't the last day of the competition, so I don't really need to be there. Don't worry, Yuf, I wouldn't miss your winning for the world." Kairi ran her fingers over the ninja's knuckles, trying to wipe away the surfer's disheartened expression.

"I guess we aren't attached at the hip," Yuffie sighed. "Just be careful, okay? I don't want you getting mugged." She kissed Kairi carefully before having to jog away.

_'She's probably late again,'_ Kairi thought grinning.

"Why did she kiss you?" Vaan asked, pulling Kairi out of her thoughts. "Are you a dyke?"

"I prefer the term lesbian," Kairi said carefully as they left the café. "It means that I like girls. Do you like girls?"

"No," Vaan replied. "I mean I know I'm gonna marry Penelo when I get big and become a famous pirate, but that's it. Girls have cooties."

"Who's Penelo?" Kairi asked.

Vaan didn't have time to answer because a little girl attacked him. "Where have you been, you big dope?" she demanded, shaking him. Vaan tried to get away from the small girl, but he couldn't. "Migelo has been really worried about you," she added.

"Sorry, Penelo," Vaan mumbled. "I was just hanging out with Kairi here."

Penelo stared up at Kairi in surprise. Kairi smiled and waved slightly. "You know we're not allowed to talk with strangers," Penelo hissed. "Migelo's gonna be mad."

An older gentlemen with white hair and a trim mustache walked up to them. Penelo flew to him, latching onto one of his stout legs. "I see you found Vaan, Penelo," he chuckled.

"Vaan was talking to strangers," Penelo tattled.

"I only did because the pirate grabbed me," Vaan defended himself.

"Vaan, what have I told you about stealing?" He demanded, looking extremely angry. "If ya keep it up, you'll be caught and sent to jail. Or if you pick the wrong pocket, you could lose a hand. Then what would we do?"

"Sorry, Migelo," Vaan mumbled, hanging his head.

Migelo picked up Penelo and took Vaan's hand. "Thank you so much for finding Vaan. I'm so sorry for all the trouble he caused you," he said, bowing his head. "I'm not as young as I once was and I can no longer keep up with these scamps."

"It's alright, really." Kairi chewed on her lip. "I got all my stuff back."

"She's a thespian," Vaan added all knowingly, as if this was vital information everyone had to know.

"You're an actor?" Migelo asked. "I didn't know Vaan knew any large words."

Kairi shook her head as she blushed hotly. She was beginning to wish she had never run into Vaan. Actually, she was beginning to rethink the idea that she had ever wanted kids.

After a moment Migelo realized what Vaan had meant. "Again I am sorry for Vaan's rudeness. He's a troublesome boy." Migelo smiled faintly at Kairi. "Please let me take you back to my shop. I'm certain we can find something to repay your kindness."

After following the three back to Migelo's Sundries, Kairi was offered a host of items. It was a little overwhelming having all of Migelo's wares offered to her. In the end, Kairi decided that she really liked a pair of blue parrot earrings and chose that.

"That's an excellent choice," Migelo smiled.

"How much do I owe you for them?" Kairi asked, pulling out her wallet.

"No, no I couldn't possibly accept money for this." Migelo waved her off. "This is our thanks you to you."

"Thanks," Kairi smiled, blushing slightly.

After pushing the hooks through her ears, she stared at her reflection. The bright blue of the little parrots contrasted sharply with her red hair. The parrots dangled merrily, swinging slightly as Kairi moved.

_'I wonder if these would look better on Yuffie,'_ Kairi pondered as she adjusted her hair. _'Still they're really pretty on me.'_

A clock struck the hour. Kairi jumped slightly, surprised at how late it had gotten. She turned apologetically to Migelo. "I'm so sorry Migelo, Vaan, Penelo. I really have to go, I need to meet up with a friend."

"Is it Yuffie?" Vaan asked eagerly.

Kairi raised an eyebrow at the question. "Among others."

"Yuffie?" Penelo questioned uncertainly.

"Yuffie, Yuffie Kisaragi, is my girlfriend," Kairi explained.

"The surfer?" exclaimed Penelo excitedly. Kairi nodded, trying not to laugh at her enthusim. "Can I meet her? Please, please, please!"

"Umm… okay," Kairi slowly agreed.

So they all set off to the beach. Migelo had a worn-down car that they all piled into. The four-year-olds insisted that Kairi sit in the back with them. To keep the quiet, Kairi told Penelo and Vaan all about the Great Ninja Yuffie.

"…So that's when Yuffie came crashing down out of the ventilation shaft clutching a squawking, scoot-covered Yuna as the chocobo tried to fly away," Kairi concluded, laughing at the memory. Penelo giggled as Vaan stared at Kairi in awe.

"She really did all that?" he breathed.

"Well yeah, but she kind of had to since she had messed things up in the first place," Kairi explained. "She was lucky she hadn't been carrying matches, and that the air, and that the air conditioning wasn't on."

"Hey, Migelo— "Vaan started.

"No Vaan, you are not allowed in the vents, the sewers, in any sort of motorized vehicle without an adult, or in places closed off for the public's general safety," Migelo finished. "It looks like we're here."

Vaan and Penelo scrambled out of the backseat, trampling Kairi on their way. Sighing slightly, the woman followed them out. After getting out of the car, Kairi stretched and looked around.

More people had shown up at the beach since she had left. There was a large crowd, but it was only a shadow of the one to come. After looking around at the unfamiliar faces, Kairi spotted a familiar strawberry blonde clinging to a man in leather.

"Two-K, Leon!" she yelled, racing up to them.

"Kairi!" Rikku squealed, throwing her arms around the redhead. "Where ya been? If Yuffie wasn't being mobbed, I'm certain she would have been freaking out."

"Where is she?" Kairi asked. "I have some new friends who want to see her." She nodded toward the children.

"Hi there, little fellas," Rikku grinned, squatting down next to them.

"Do you know Yuffie?" Penelo asked softly.

Rikku chuckled before turning to Kairi. "One track mind, huh? Maybe you'll have some competition in twenty years."

"Yuffie may be an idiot, but she's faithful as hell," Leon said. "She's in the center of the crowd, Kairi," he added, pointing in the right direction.

Nodding thanks, Kairi ushered the children toward the horde. They permeated the crowd and became sandwiched into the mess. Since she was worried Penelo would be trampled, Kairi stuck the girl on her shoulders. She also took hold of Vaan's hand to keep his sticky fingers from wandering.

When they finally reached Yuffie, the excited surfer became ecstatic. "Kairi!" she yelled, pulling her into a tight hug. "I've missed you!" When she pulled back, Yuffie noticed Penelo. "Who's this?" she asked grinning.

"P-Penelo," Penelo whispered, clutching Kairi's hair.

"Penelo," Kairi repeated loudly for the girl.

"Nice to meet cha," Yuffie said, shaking Penelo's hand. Then to Kairi she added, "I'm sorry babe, I've still got a ton of fans to talk with—" she waved her arm toward the crowd. "—can we meet up in a bit?"

"We'll hang out with Two-K," Kairi agreed. She pulled the kids out of the crowd. "So what did you think?" she asked Penelo.

"That was awesome!" Penelo squeaked. "I just wish I could have gotten a picture…"

"I bet you will," Kairi smiled, causing Penelo to brighten.

They, along with Rikku and Migelo, explored the beach. Penelo and Kairi looked for shells, while Vaan and Rikku built a sandcastle. After a large number of shells had been found, the girls decorated the castle with them while Vaan built a moat. Sadly the tide came in and destroyed their work before they were finished.

"All that hard work for nothing," Kairi sighed.

"Hey, I thought it was pretty cool."

Kairi's head whipped around. "Yuffie! You're done, huh?" she grinned.

Yuffie ran over to the younger girl, kicking up sand in her wake. "Yeah, Security could tell I was getting pretty wiped out, so they kicked out my adoring fans," Yuffie chuckled. "Sorry I took so long, babe, but you know I can't turn down my fans."

"Ham," Kairi smiled, brushing sand out of the surfer's hair.

"But you still love me." Yuffie perked up slightly, "Hey Kairi, I just remembered that—"

Whatever the ninja had been about to say was lost when two fast moving bodies slammed into her. Kairi tried not to laugh as the four-year-olds attacked her girlfriend.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Yuffie breathed, pushing the kids off of her. "What's up?"

"CanIgetyourautograph?" Penelo rushed.

After blinking twice, Yuffie grinned. "Sure, kiddo! But you guys'll have to get off me first."

Vaan and Penelo eagerly scrambled off the girl and lined up together a few paces away. Yuffie climbed to her feet and dusted herself off. "Okay so let's see," Yuffie mumbled. "We've got Vaan and Penelo, right?" The two nodded, happy that Yuffie remembered their names.

"Penelo was hoping to get some pictures with you," Kairi added.

"Well then we can't disappoint her. Where's the camera?" she asked, looking around.

"Here it is!" Rikku yelled, waving it in Yuffie's face.

The ninja jumped. "Holy sh-cow, Two-K! How did you do that?"

Rikku grinned mischievously. "You're not the only one with ninja skills. Besides I already had the camera since I was getting some promo shots earlier."

"Do not sneak up on me," Yuffie ordered, waggling her finger. "It's cute when I do it. Not so cute when you do it."

"Umm guys, can you two stop bickering long enough to spread some time with the adoring fans?" Kairi asked, trying not to lose her temper because she was so embarrassed at the others' behavior.

"Sorry Kairi," Rikku and Yuffie apologized in unison. They looked at their feet mournfully.

"She's good," Penelo whispered to Vaan, who nodded in agreement.

"Hey you guys, sorry 'bout that," Yuffie laughed, scratching the back of her head. "Two-K and I tend to argue a lot. So, shall we take some photos?"

Kairi and Rikku took turns taking pictures of Yuffie clowning around with the kids. It was one of those cameras—Kairi couldn't remember the name—that spit out a photo right after taking it and the photo was presentable only a minute or so later. They ended up using an entire roll of film. A couple of the photos were ones that Kairi got to keep. Her favorite was the group photo, which even included Leon, that a security guard took.

By the time the photo shoot was over, the sun was setting. Penelo and Vaan were both worn out. They had an exciting day, but were only four, so they were falling asleep where they stood.

"Goodbye Kairi, it was a pleasure to have met you and Ms. Kisaragi," Migelo said. He hoisted the children over his shoulders before getting into the car and driving away.

"Why were you a 'Ms.'?" Kairi wondered out loud.

"Because I'm famous, babe," Yuffie sighed, wrapping an arm around the redhead's shoulders. "Shall we go home?"

"I guess," Kairi agreed. "On the way, you can tell me how the placement's changed."

"Deal," Yuffie grinned.

**xxx**

Kairi didn't know what woke her up. One moment she was the hero of Frogger and the next she was in bed with Yuffie playing the part of an octopus. At least a semi wasn't bearing down on her poor little webbed feet anymore.

When she finally had her breathing under control, Kairi unhooked the appendages from around her neck and sat up. Nothing was amiss with their hotel room. All of their stuff was still in the exact place they left it. The windows were partially open, allowing the sea breeze to sweep in, forcing the curtains to billow. It was quiet out, dawn was just beginning to pinken the sky.

'_I can't believe that I'm in the middle of the freaking Caribbean,'_ Kairi giggled silently. She climbed out of bed and leaned on the windowsill. All the parties that had raged on all night had finally died out, so it was silent save for the birds.

Glancing back at her slumbering girlfriend, Kairi grinned. _'I wonder what life would be like if I hadn't met Yuffie.'_

There was a rap on the door. After pulling on a robe, Kairi opened a door. There stood Rikku in pajamas covered with seagulls.

"Two-K, what are you doing here in?" Kairi yelped in surprise. Rikku adhered to the same principle as Yuffie-the only reasons to wake up before noon were surfing or sex, and people should never _ever_ get up before dawn.

"Leon kicked me out. I mean we have separate beds and completely ignore each other, but he still kicks me out because apparently I snore!" Rikku took a deep breath before giving Kairi puppy eyes. "Can I stay with you for the rest of the night?"

Kairi sighed. "You know you look like a demented parakeet when you do that," she commented. "That doesn't work on me. Yuffie gave up the idea that 'puppy eyes' worked on me after I told her she looked like a cross eyed gerbil."

Rikku stopped the eye watering at once. "Please can I spend the rest of the night with you two?" she asked politely.

"Sure," Kairi shrugged. "Get into bed. I'm probably up for the day."

"You're the best, Kairi," Rikku giggled. She crawled into bed and fell asleep almost instantly. The octopus had also found a new victim.

Shaking her head at Rikku's strangeness, Kairi locked their door. She climbed into the chair near the bed and flipped on the TV. After channel surfing for a minute, Kairi found a Scooby Doo marathon. Kairi was all set after she settled happily into her chair.

Four episodes and a Scooby movie later, Kairi was roused from her cartoons by a scream. Looking at the bed she found Yuffie and Rikku screaming hysterically at each other. Sighing at their stupidity, Kairi walked over to Yuffie and pulled her lover away from the other screaming girl.

"Kairi," Yuffie yelped, breathing heavily. "I swear she wasn't—I'm certain I went home with you… oh god, I don't think I even drank at all last night!"

"Don't worry, you went home with me last night," Kairi assured, pushing hair out of Yuffie's eyes. "Rikku showed up this morning after she got kicked out of her room." She turned her attention to Rikku then. "I get why Yuffie freaked, but why did you start screaming, Two-K?"

Rikku shrugged. "Since Yuffie started screaming, I did too."

Kairi nodded slowly. "Right then… Yuf, you might wanna shower now, so we can go exploring."

"Umm, Kairi, I can't really get out of bed," Yuffie said, clutching the covers.

"Well why not?" Kairi asked.

"I'm nude, Kairi," Yuffie hissed after pulling the redhead close to her.

She stared at Yuffie. There were tons of times that Yuffie and Rikku had roomed together. Kairi could see what the big deal was.

"I've never been naked around Two-K," Yuffie whispered. "It'd be weird to start now."

"You do realize that you're in bed with Two-K, nude," Kairi said carefully.

"Eek!" Yuffie squeaked. She leaped out of bed and ran into the bathroom.

Kairi stared at the now shut door for a moment. "I had no idea she'd have such a strong reaction to being caught nude by you."

Rikku shrugged, "I get it. You and me are both people that Yuffie respects. She cares about our opinions and what we think of her. While we may not notice it, there are strict boundaries in our relationships. Yuffie and I talk about everything, boys, girls, shopping, fighting, food, movies, books, relationships, sex—"

"Current relationships or only past?" Kairi asked, narrowing her eyes.

"All of them. Like right after it happened, she told me about your guys' first time how it was really romantic and you kept blushing so much that Yuffie thought you were going to pass out…" Rikku trailed off when she noticed the expression on Kairi's face. "She wasn't supposed to tell me that, was she?"

"No," Kairi replied.

"Oops," Rikku mumbled. There was a moment of uneasy silence before she continued. "The point is we have a strictly platonic relationship. Which means no nudey running… except for skinny dipping, because that's swimming."

As soon as Yuffie emerged, Rikku hopped into the shower. Once she was done in there and had stolen some of Kairi and Yuffie's clothes, they were able to head off to the beach.

There were a total of sixteen surfers left in the competition that morning. Three rounds today were being held today; cutting the number of contestants from sixteen, to eight, to four. Yuffie surfed in all three rounds. Kairi knew that Yuffie was by far the best surfer out of the bunch, but that didn't mean the judges knew that.

Finally in the late afternoon, the judges had come to their conclusion. The head judge stood up and called all the contestants to the beach. He then launched into a long and boring speech about how each surfer was excellent in their own right and how the Tortuga surfing championship was an important and wonderful event. Then after droning on for an hour, he finally started to explain the results.

To heighten the drama, the judge called the four finalists to the raised platform where the judge's table sat. After unrolling a sheet of paper with the official results on it, the judge cleared his throat. "These are the official results for this year's Tortuga Surfing Championship," he began. "Honorable mention goes to…"

It was then that Kairi's cell phone went off. Cursing quietly, she hurried to the back of the crowd as people gave her disapproving looks. "Hello?" she hissed into the phone, covering her other ear so that she could hear.

"Kairi? Do you know where Leon is? His cell phone is off and I need to talk to him." It was Aeris sounding strange.

"Aeris," Kairi began, "this is a really bad time right now. The finalists are being announced right now. Can we talk later?"

"Just tell him to call me as soon as possible," Aeris sighed. Then, to Kairi's relief, she hung up.

Kairi quickly returned to the crowd, hoping that she hadn't missed Yuffie's ranking.

"And finally, this year's champion is," the judge announced, "Yuffie Kisaragi!"

With a whoop of happiness, Yuffie gracefully accepted the trophy. Kairi cheered her victory along with the rest of the crowd. Various news reporters oozed out of the crowd, trailing cameramen behind them, hoping to get decent shots. At their insistence, Yuffie gave a short speech. To Kairi's pleasure and dismay, she was mentioned several times in it.

After Yuffie played twenty questions with the media, the group was finally able to escape to the after party. Once there, Leon was finally able to return Aeris' call. Her news had all three girls congratulating him extensively.

"I didn't know ya had it in you, Squallykins," Yuffie chuckled, socking him in the shoulder.

"When's it due?" Kairi asked.

"Sometime in February," Leon answered, still staring off into space. "If you ladies will excuse me, I need to head back to my room and call my wife again." He then made a quick exit.

"Now we have a ton of reasons to celebrate," Rikku grinned, grabbing an unattached man next to them. "I'll meet you guys on the dance floor."

Many hours later after all the booze, music, dancing, and fireworks were over, Kairi and Yuffie cuddled in bed. Kairi sighed as she relaxed into Yuffie's warm embrace. Both girls were about to fall asleep.

"I still can't believe that you talked about me in your acceptance speech," Kairi laughed.

"I think I've done it before, and if I haven't it's a terrible over-sight on my part," Yuffie yawned. "I hope you didn't mind."

"No, I was just surprised. Most of the time I forget that you're famous," Kairi explained.

"Kairi, I don't know much about life and even less about the future. But one thing I do know is that I wanna spend my life with you," Yuffie nodded. "The reporters'll have to learn that sooner or later."

"That is so fucking cheesy," Kairi giggled.

"Good." Yuffie kissed the other's neck. "I'd prefer to do all my cheesy stuff before the documentary starts."

"Documentary?" Kairi muttered as her eyes closed for the final time that evening.

"Yeah, I signed a contract with Moogle TV, so that they're doing a documentary on my surfing and personal life," Yuffie explained.

"Lovely," Kairi mumbled as she fell asleep.

The next morning Kairi woke up and realized what Yuffie had told her last night. She spent several hours screaming at the ninja about how she should never sign binding, life-altering contracts without consulting, or at least telling her in advance. When Kairi finally calmed down, Yuffie stood, smiling weakly as if she expected Kairi to start up again.

"Come here," Kairi sighed, pulling Yuffie into a hug. "Just promise me that you won't do anything like this again." Yuffie nodded so vigorously that Kairi had to laugh. Even if Yuffie was an idiot, she was Kairi's idiot. She'd always keep her because Kairi couldn't imagine being happy without her.

"It'll be fun though," Yuffie promised. "They'll be filming every aspect bit of my daily life, so you'll be in a lot of the movie."

'_Oh joy,'_ Kairi though sarcastically. _'I just can't wait to have every moment of my private life exposed for the world to see.'_ As they left the hotel room Kairi reflected on the bright side. _'At least I've got a couple of months before the fiascos starts. Maybe this won't be so bad… sure and maybe I'll become King of England.'_

Shrugging, Kairi decided not to think about it anymore. She still had another three days of vacation and she wanted to make the most of it. After all, they could have a lot of fun in three days, especially if she ignored the impending lack of privacy.

* * *

So that was chapter 11. I really hoped that everyone liked and/or enjoyed it. So if you would all be kind and update, that would really make my day. It doesn't take very long and I really love hearing what people think of what's going on. 


	12. Documenting A Surprise

MC: Hello there again everyone! I'm sorry it took me so long to get this written and posted. I was just looking at reviews one day and suddenly realized that OA here hasn't been updated in ages, so I started writing. I have an excuse for why this took me so long, I've been working on a lot of Zelda/Link drabbles for a thing on LJ and that's been taking up most of my creative energy. Still, no excuse is good enough, you deserve better than the neglect I've shown. So as an apology, I've got a chapter here that's slightly longer than 6,500 words. Onward to chapter 12!

DISCLAIMER: Kingdom Hearts and all of its characters, places, ideas, and all around coolness belong mostly to Square Enix, but Disney certainly also has their teeth sunk into the copy right ownage. All I know for certain is that I don't own it and I'm not making any cash off of this.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 12: Documenting A Surprise**

"So, you're gonna follow me around with this?" Yuffie asked, tapping the lens lightly. "Right, Zell?"

"Please don't do that, Ms. Kisaragi!" yelped an energetic blonde with a tattoo across half his face. He carefully and quickly pulled the camera out of Yuffie's hands. "Kate's delicate."

"Kate?" Yuffie wondered out loud.

"Yeah," Zell grinned, patting the camera. "This is Camera 8, my sweet little Ca8."

"That's a neat name," Yuffie agreed. "I only would have thought of something like Cam."

Zell preened slightly at the compliments. He squeaked then, clearly remembering something. "I'm sorry, Ms. Kisaragi," Zell apologized, scratching the back of his head. "I forgot to remind you what Moogle TV is having me do."

"Call me Yuffie," the surfer insisted, flopping back into her seat. "So, why don't you tell me what's going on then."

Yuffie and Zell were in one of the nicer offices of the Traverse Town branch of Moogle TV. About ten minutes ago Zell had entered the room and exchanged places with a producer. Yuffie was certain she liked Zell better; he didn't spout weird legal gobbley gook about her contract, like the producer.

"Okay, so I'm going to be following you around for a month while you're at home, and then follow you this next year's surfing circuit," Zell outlined. "Also, for the next month while you're home we'll have several cameras set up in your apartment."

"But there won't be any cameras in the bathroom, right? Because Kairi said that she'd leave me if that happened," Yuffie explained worriedly.

"Of course not," Zell assured. "Moogle TV is a respectable company. The cameras will only be in the public spaces and on my shoulder. Your manager, Mr. Leonhart, was very insistent Moogle TV sign several privacy agreements. Due to this agreement—and I had to sign it too—things like addresses, phone numbers, last names for some people, as well as nudity will be kept concealed."

"Okay," Yuffie nodded, "good to know."

"I'll also be the only guy in your house from the television company," Zell added. "We'll have a couple of other dudes come along for the touring, but I'll be the only one in your home. I can guarantee that."

"Excellent," Yuffie yawned, standing up and stretching. "Since Squallykins and the lawyers have taken care of all the legal mumbo jumbo, let's go."

The duo quickly left the Moogle TV building. They caught a Twilight Town bound train. On the three-hour train ride Zell carefully put Ca8 together and got the camera functioning correctly so that he was filming by the time Yuffie got off the train.

"How good are you at jumping?" Yuffie asked as they strolled out of the train station. "I mean, when you're carrying Ca8 there. Any good at leaping?"

"Sure," Zell grinned confidently, patting Ca8 again. "She's real light and I can hop about easily, although the picture's probably a bit shaky."

"Awesome," Yuffie laughed before running off.

She heard Zell swear and start after her. Yuffie easily left Zell in the dust. After running several blocks, Yuffie shimmed up a light post. It was the best place for her to wait for Zell.

Several minutes later Zell arrived at the lamppost. He was nearly doubled over as he panted, trying to catch his breath. The cameraman looked around hurriedly, trying to find out where Yuffie had gone.

Yuffie decided to give Zell a break. It wouldn't take long for him to get used to Yuffie's pacing and she was certain he'd be able to keep up fine once he did. Still, he needed a chance to get used to it. After all, they couldn't film a documentary if the camera couldn't keep up.

"Okay, Zell!" Yuffie yelled, waving. The blonde's head jerked up, which caused the ninja to grin. "Took you long enough," she said, after sliding down the pole. "I thought you said you were fit."

"I am," Zell protested. "I've just got all my luggage and crap on me right now and I wasn't expecting a five hundred meter dash. I'll be ready next time, though."

"Sure you will," Yuffie agreed amiably. "Shall we get going then?"

So they continued on toward Yuffie's home. Yuffie was in the lead for obvious reasons, but Zell was following close behind. As they walked the surfer explained Twilight Town's general layout and the trolley system.

"So does that make sense?" Yuffie asked. "I mean, this is the bridge we usually get off at, so you'd better be prepared in the future."

"Yeah, I can make this," Zell affirmed, watching a trolley move under the bridge. "I could totally jump up from here."

"Great," Yuffie laughed, clapping her hands. "Let's finish the last leg now. Home's only a couple of blocks away."

It didn't take long for Yuffie and Zell to reach the apartment. As soon as Yuffie got the door open, she spotted Kairi seated at the counter. Grinning happily the ninja bounded over to her girlfriend and gave her a hug.

"Hey Yuf," Kairi greeted, looking up from several papers. "Do you remember spending 3,500 gil or 8,750 munny in one go on eBay? I'm doing the Visa bill and I can't account for this large charge."

'_Oh shit,'_ Yuffie thought worriedly. _'I forgot about the credit card bill! Kairi does our finances and of course she'd notice that amount. I hope she doesn't ask what it is.'_

"I mean it's fine if you spent it and I know we can afford it," she continued, looking at the bill again. "I just want to make certain there aren't any fraudulent charges being made."

Yuffie peered at the bill. "That's the twenty-first, so yup, I bought it," the ninja confirmed.

"Care to tell me what it was?" Kairi asked, trying not to smile.

"Ninja stuff," Yuffie lied promptly, nodding vigorously.

"Really?" Kairi drawled, giving Yuffie The Look.

"Yeah, umm… for my dad's dojo," Yuffie added, inwardly cringing. "Since he always used to complain about the equipment being junk, I figured I'd replace a bit."

Kairi nodded, accepting Yuffie's explanation. "Hope he accepts it," she muttered, putting the bill away. Then Kairi looked up and noticed Zell. "You must be the guy from Moogle TV," she smiled. "I'm Kairi Hart, and you are?"

"Zell Dincht, at your service," Zell grinned, offering a hand. Kairi shook hands with Zell politely.

"Okay." Yuffie clapped her hands before rubbing them together. "Now that you've met Kairi, I suppose a tour is in order so that you can figure out where to set the cameras and get familiar with our surroundings."

"Good idea," Zell agreed, setting down Ca8. He then pulled out several smaller cameras. "I can easily put a camera there—" He pointed up at a spot on the wall near the ceiling. "—and it would cover the kitchen."

Yuffie nodded and walked into the living room. "Well, as you can see," she started, flopping onto the couch. "When you enter the apartment the kitchen is directly to your right and the living room here is in front of you."

"I would have thought you'd have a bigger place," Zell mumbled as he looked around. "I mean, as a sports star, shouldn't you have a mansion with twenty cars and rocking parties every night?"

"And how many mansions have a ten minute commute from Twilight University?" Kairi asked, smirking slightly. "We left Tokyo because I decided to go to school here and Yuffie wanted to continue living with me."

"I should show you the bathroom," Yuffie declared, remembering that she was giving a tour. She slid over to a partially shut door and threw it open. Kairi winced slightly when it hit the wall. Yuffie cleared her throat, "So yeah, this is the bathroom."

The bathroom was a pleasant room, although it lacked windows. There was a midsized tube built into the wall with a showerhead near the ceiling and a fish-covered shower curtain. In between the sink and toilet there was a blue rug that matched the tile's blue and white coordination. It wasn't a large room, but it could easily fit two people comfortably.

"I don't want any cameras set up in there," Kairi called out.

Yuffie couldn't help but smile. Like usual, the redhead was looking out for her. The surfer probably wouldn't have commented, but she didn't particularly want cameras in her bathroom. It would be more than a little creepy.

Since the bathroom had been shown off properly, Yuffie decided to show off the bedroom. The decorations were a mixture of traditional Japanese and tropical island. The bay window with the window seat had Paopu print curtains, while the walls were plastered with pictures of both of the women's childhoods. A dresser's top was covered with medals, trophies, and certificates of honor. Most of them were for surfing, but a few for martial arts and one for figure skating were mixed into the mess.

On the side of the bed with the dresser and trophies, the floor was littered with dirty clothing. Most of it was T-shirts and jeans, but Yuffie could also see other things like a dirty bath towel. On the other side of the bed by the windows there were stacks of textbooks and a few piles of notes.

"This is our bedroom," Yuffie laughed nervously, kicking a pair of her panties under the bed. "And this is my side of the room," she added, gesturing to the clothes covered side.

"Hey," Zell started, "what's that yellow thing on the bed?"

Yuffie glanced at the bed. There was a bedraggled yellow ball that was in the center of the bed. It had also managed to wiggle itself onto Yuffie's pillow. There were molted yellow feathers scattered across the bedspread.

"Yuna!" Yuffie roared, grabbing the ball. The ball turned out to be a chocobo that squawked and flapped her wings violently, causing more feathers to flutter about the room. "Stay off my pillow!"

Kairi bounded into the room. "What's wrong?" she asked worriedly. When she noticed Yuffie and the bird she calmed down considerably. "She's just molting, Yuffie," the redhead sighed, taking the bird out of her hands. "It's not a very fun process for her."

"But she's shedding all over my pillow," Yuffie whined.

"Molting," Kairi corrected. "If it really bothers you that much, you can borrow mine." She grabbed a comforter off the bed and wrapped Yuna in it before setting the bundle on the window seat. "Better now?" she asked.

"Thanks Kai," Yuffie grinned.

Kairi glanced at Zell. "I'm going to the post office to mail our bills," she announced. "You got anything that needs to go?"

"Umm yeah, one for my dad," Yuffie replied, digging a letter out of her nightstand. "I think it needs a stamp though."

"Sure," Kairi nodded. There was a pause. "I really don't want any cameras in here. I change in here. If there are cameras, I'm staying at Two-K's."

"No Ma'am," Zell agreed vigorously. "No cameras in the bedroom and bath. Moogle TV is a strictly professional company. Are there any more parts of the apartment I haven't seen yet?"

"There's the other bedroom," Yuffie said thoughtfully, watching Kairi leave with the mail. "I keep most of my surfing equipment in there. Kairi also keeps old textbooks along with any of our important crap in there."

Zell shuffled over to the final bedroom and poked his head and the camera inside. "You know, you've got a bed in here," he commented.

Yuffie came over and peered inside. "I think you're right. Which makes sense, since this was originally suppose to be a guest bedroom. And I don't think we ever got rid of Kairi's old mattress. Wanna sleep in here? It's gotta be better than the couch."

Zell nodded as he turned off the camera. "I'm gonna put Ca8 away and then set up the cameras, one in the kitchen and two in the living room," he explained. "Try not to do anything film worthy until I'm done."

"It'll be a challenge," Yuffie replied. "I'll get my boards outta the room so you don't accidentally break them."

Yuffie spent about half an hour carting her surfing gear into the master bedroom. The largest challenge was finding space for the more fragile equipment without encroaching on Kairi's space. The ninja also moved several boxes of memories into the hall closet, which was actually meant for storage.

'_You know if I ever end up living here full time,'_ Yuffie thought, setting down the last box she was willing to move_, 'we would need a bigger apartment. That, or else toss out some stuff.'_

"Hey, Yuffie, the cameras are all set up," Zell called out. "They're motion activated, so that should save on power and film. Did I mention Moogle TV is reimbursing you guys for the power we use?"

"I'm certain it's in the contract," Yuffie said. She grabbed Zell by the shoulder. "We've got more important things to talk about. Did you know Kairi's birthday is in a week?"

"How old is she turning?" Zell asked.

"Nineteen," Yuffie replied grimly, actually being serious for once. "It's the first birthday I'll actually be home for since we got together. I want everything to be perfect."

"Lotta planning going into this event?"

"You'd better believe it. Two-K—that is, my buddy Rikku—is doing most of the planning while I help and give ideas. I'm flying her parents in, and her best friends are driving over from… Radiant Garden, I think."

Zell frowned at Yuffie. "Why are you telling me all this?"

The ninja looked at him like he was stupid. "You're going to be tailing me for a month. You'll be seeing all of the party prep and I don't want you to blab. It's a surprise, duh."

"I can keep a secret," Zell assured.

"Good. We will have to be stealthy like my ninja forefathers. Kairi can't suspect a thing." The ninja lost some of her composure and reverted back to an excited girl. "It's gonna be so awesome."

**xxx**

After a few days Yuffie had gotten used to having Zell follow her around. She had slowly, but surely returned to her normal habits. They were currently they were riding on top of the trolley to Rikku's new apartment. It was also Zell's first ride on top of a trolley.

"I can't believe we're doing this!" Zell wailed as he struggled to hang onto the roof. He was having a hard time adjusting to this form of travel.

"Relax Zell," Yuffie laughed. "I do this all the time."

She stretched slightly and looked to see how Zell was doing. When she noticed how he was holding the roof, Yuffie quickly corrected him. It wouldn't do to have her cameraman fall off a trolley going thirty miles an hour. There were another three stops before they reached the one by Rikku's home.

Yuffie smoothly landed on the sidewalk next to the trolley. She turned around and looked up to Zell to see when he would jump. The blonde looked over the edge and shook his head, so Yuffie had to yell at him. That got Zell to jump. He landed and staggered slightly before standing up.

"Chicken," Yuffie said.

"Am not," Zell growled.

"That was pretty wussy of you to try and get out of jumping there at he end," Yuffie snickered.

"I jumped, didn't I?" Zell demanded, adjusting the camera.

"And you are a better man for it," Yuffie replied, slapping his back. "Come on, we're almost at Two-K's."

"She'd better be worth that ride," Zell grumbled.

"Oh, she is," Yuffie promised.

Yuffie was greeted with a hug when they reached Rikku's apartment. "I've gotten replies from just about everyone saying that they can come," were the first words out of Rikku's mouth.

"Who's taking care of the decorations?" Yuffie asked. "That was up in the air last time I checked."

"Olette is. She found a really great deal on gold decorations," Rikku explained. "She's really psyched about being in on the party preparations."

"We are keeping track of the expenses, right? Cause I have to pay everyone back and I want everything right." Yuffie may not be the most put together person, but she did know how to keep track of money.

"Pff," Riku snorted, waving her hand. "We already decided that whatever money we put in was simply us contributing to the cause. So don't worry about it."

"Where is it being held?" Zell asked.

"Who's this?" Rikku demanded, immediately suspicious.

"Zell Dinchet, meet Rikku, or Two-K as we call her," Yuffie introduced. "He's my cameraman."

"Oh," Rikku chuckled. "I heard about that, Moogle TV, right?" She offered him her hand.

Zell nodded in confirmation and shook her hand. Yuffie cackled silently, she had noticed that Zell started blushing as soon as he had taken Rikku's hand. After a minute the ninja coughed loudly, which caused Zell to realize he still had Rikku's hand, so he quickly dropped it.

Rikku ushered them into her home. The girls talked for several minutes about party plans before Yuffie asked about her gift. Yuffie had stored her gift at Rikku's house to keep Kairi from finding it. Rikku assured her that the gift was safe and she'd wrap it when she wrapped her own gift. Yuffie and Zell stayed for a few hours and ate a late lunch before saying goodbye.

"What did you get Kairi anyways?" Zell inquired on their ride home. At Zell's request they were riding inside the trolley.

"It's a secret," Yuffie replied promptly. "Sorry. Two-K doesn't even know what's in the box."

"So, what's next on the agenda?" Zell tactfully changed the subject.

"We are going to pick up Kairi from work," Yuffie declared. "She could use a friendly face at the moment, since work is really stressing her out."

"Well if she needs cheering up, you're just the person to do it," Zell grinned.

The trolley quickly got Yuffie and Zell to the right stop. Then it was only a short jog over to Kairi's work. If Zell hadn't learned anything else in the past couple days, he had learned that Yuffie never walked.

"Hey babe," Yuffie greeted as she strolled into 'The Law Office of Strife,' otherwise known as 'Kairi's work.'

Kairi looked up and smiled briefly before returning to her computer screen. She was in the middle of a sea of files and papers. Yuna waddled out to Yuffie, cheeping softly. The surfer happily picked up the chocobo and carried her over to the desk.

"So I was thinking that after you pack up we could head home. I'll make dinner and maybe we could catch a movie… see where the night takes us," Yuffie whispered into Kairi's ear.

"Sorry Yuf, but I'm gonna be here a while," Kairi sighed, continuing to type. "I'm really swamped here, since Mr. Strife is about to go on vacation and we need to wrap things up before his trip. Besides, your cooking sucks."

"It does not," Yuffie retorted. "You're just an unromantic."

"Yuffie, I really do need to fin—oh damn," Kairi broke off, hitting several keys hard. "I just realized that I was typing what we were saying," she explained sheepishly.

"Anything I can do?" Yuffie inquired, absently stroking Yuna's crest.

"Do you see my messenger bag anywhere? I need to take some of these files home and finish it there," the redhead replied.

Yuffie eagerly dived into the papery mess. Finding the messenger bag was harder than it sounded because there were just so many piles and Yuffie couldn't knock any of them over. After wading through the piles for a bit and nearly toppling several stacks, Yuffie spotted the silver good luck charm on the bag. Triumphantly the ninja pulled out the bag and set it gently on Kairi's desk.

"Excellent," Kairi smiled again. "Let me finish this report and we'll see how much I have left."

Time passed as Yuffie quietly waited for Kairi to finish. She and Zell ended up sitting in client chairs for the wait. After about twenty minutes of doing absolutely nothing, Yuffie stood up and wandered over to Kairi.

"Are you done yet?" Yuffie whined, sticking her head on the desk. "I wanna go home."

"You could take Yuna and go home on your own," Kairi pointed out.

"Tell me, are you _really_ still working on the same report?" Yuffie asked, giving Kairi a look.

Kairi winced and smiled sheepishly again. "Sorry, I kinda moved onto the next couple," she apologized. "But… I'm… almost… done!"

"Really?" Yuffie asked excitedly.

Kairi nodded, "Just let me shut down." A few seconds later the screen went black. Kairi stood up and stretched. "I'll just shove some files in here," she referred to the messenger bag, "sign out, and tell the boss man goodbye."

Zell started in surprise. "Your boss is still here? But it's—" He glanced at his watch. "—after seven."

"Yep," Kairi nodded tiredly. "Mr. Strife is usually here until at least nine." The redhead knocked on the door by her desk and then opened it. She stuck her head in the office and spoke quietly before shutting the door again. "Can you stand to wait another five minutes?"

With a huff Yuffie sat down again. _'How long is this really going to take?'_ she silently mused, trying to get comfortable.

Kairi sat down next to her. She picked up Yuna and snuggled into Yuffie's shoulder. This wasn't what the surfer was expecting. She thought Kairi had a few more errands to complete before they could leave, not that the redhead was going to sit down next to her and wait for something.

"What are we doing, Kairi?" Yuffie asked.

"You know we promised to bird sit Zack and Vincent?" Kairi started. The front door of the law office opened. Link scurried in, giving everyone a cheerful wave. He carefully set down two pet carriers, then took off a backpack and set it down between the carriers.

"Sorry I'm late," Link apologized, carefully checking the carriers. "I meant to be here by seven, since you normally leave around seven, Kairi, but my trolley was early. Had to wait for the next one."

"It's alright," Yuffie replied, getting down by the carriers. "You've taken care of Yuna for us loads of times. Least we could do is repay the favor."

Yuffie unlocked one of the carriers, then opened the door. Out walked Zack, a confident back chocobo with purple eyes. He preened his wing slightly before warking at Link. Yuffie then opened the other door to let Vincent out. Vincent was also a black chocobo, but he had red eyes and lacked the presence, the bravado, Zack had.

"Hey there, Vinny," Link laughed, stroking Vincent's beak. "You and Zack, are going to be staying at Kairi and Yuffie's for a while. You'll even have Yuna with you." Link turned to Kairi. "I've got their leashes, some toys, and treats in here. I've also included some cash for greens. Umm… I think it's enough to cover the entire month, but if it isn't, we could always wire you some more."

"Don't worry about it! I'm certain we can easily feed the boys," Kairi assured. "They'll be fine while you're on your trip. Where are you going again?"

"We are visiting several countries in Europe," Link said. "Cloud is going to meet my family and we will be attending my sister's wedding. I'm the best man."

'_Spending a month in a foreign country with the in laws… I wouldn't want to be Spiky right now,'_ Yuffie thought, shuddering.

"Wark!" Zack screeched, running to hide behind Link. A furious Yuna chased after him. She had several feathers in her beak and she was squawking up a storm.

"What happened?" Kairi demanded, freaking out as she grabbed the livid chocobo.

Link grabbed Zack and carefully inspected him. He also looked Yuna over before grinning. "That's what you get for being fresh, Zack," the vet admonished.

If Yuffie didn't know better, she'd say Vincent was laughing. However, since chocobos can't laugh, that couldn't possibly be true. Yuna feinted another run at Zack, which caused the proud bird to run for cover. Zack even grabbed his carrier door with his beak and pulled it shut behind him so that there was a barrier between the two birds.

"I don't think there will be any other impropriety," Link chuckled. "Zack's learned his lessen."

"I should hope so," Kairi said, glaring at Zack like Yuna.

Yuffie grinned at Vincent. She carefully pushed him back into his carrier. Kairi picked up the messenger bag and exited the office while she was still carrying Yuna. Zell followed after her. Apparently Yuffie was going to carry Zack and Vincent home.

"I'm really excited about Kairi's party," Link said after he was certain that the redhead was gone. "It's just a shame that our flight means we can't stay for very long."

"How long will you guys have?" Yuffie asked as she locked the carriers.

"Hour, hour and a half," Link shrugged. "Maybe if we push it. I'd better let you go though." He waggled his fingers in the carriers. "Bye guys, be good. I've gotta pry daddy out of his office… I swear the man must be a hermit crab or something for his willingness to leave that bloody desk."

As Yuffie carried Zack and Vincent out of the law firm, she couldn't help but grin. She had way too many awesome and fun people coming to the party for it to not be fun. The best part was that Kairi didn't suspect a thing.

**xxx**

"Happy Birthday to you… Happy birthday to you," Yuffie crooned, pushing hair out of Kairi's face. "Happy birthday, dear Kairi… Happy birthday to you."

She couldn't help but grin when the redhead groaned and rolled over. After trying to settle down again, Kairi sat up and glared blurry-eyed at Yuffie.

"Yuffie," Kairi groaned, "why did you wake me up at—" She grabbed the digital clock off the nightstand. "—7:13 in the morning?"

"I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, babe," Yuffie replied. "And to inform you that I made breakfast—"

"I don't want food poisoning on my birthday," Kairi wailed, burying her head in her pillow.

"—arrangements for 9:30 at a nice restaurant," Yuffie finished, glaring. "My cooking isn't that bad."

"Yuffie, you insisted on cooking on your birthday last year and you gave us all food poisoning," Kairi reminded.

"It wasn't that bad," Yuffie protested.

"We spent six hours in the emergency room," Kairi continued.

"Okay fine, my cooking is terrible," Yuffie admitted bitterly. "But if you keep acting like a smart ass, I'll change our reservations to a place that forces all the customers to sing 'Happy Birthday' while they bring out flan with a candle in it."

"Please don't, love," Kairi replied, kissing Yuffie gently. "I'm certain you picked a lovely place." She flopped back onto her pillow. "What I don't get," she started, "is why you woke me up over two hours in advance."

"Well, I was thinking we could have some fun," Yuffie mumbled, fiddling with the sheet's hem. No she was not embarrassed.

"Hmm… morning sex on my birthday, sounds fun," Kairi thought out loud. She suddenly looked at Yuffie in concern and put her wrist to the ninja's forehead. "Are you feeling okay, Yuffie? You're awake and it's before noon. Hell, you're awake before ten and you aren't watching cartoons. Do you have a fever?"

Yuffie batted the hand away, now feeling extremely embarrassed. "You know once in a while there's something really important that I'll wake up for," she said hotly. "Your birthday is one of them."

"Sorry, sorry, I shouldn't have teased you. Really sweet of you," Kairi smiled. The smile turned into a smirk as the redhead gave the ninja an appraising look. "You know, Yuffie, I'll accept that offer you made earlier if you kick the birds out and lock the door."

"Really?" Yuffie asked, surprised. Kairi nodded, so Yuffie complied.

They spent a leisurely hour in bed before getting up. After showering, dressing, feeding the birds, and the thousand other little things they had to do in the morning, they left for breakfast. Neither one remembered to wake up Zell, which was a pretty good thing since Yuffie had only made a reservation for two.

Breakfast was at a traditional teahouse. Kairi was delighted by its charm and the lack of singing. Yuffie was excited to have the food of her childhood again. After they had both eaten to their heart's content Yuffie paid the bill. When they got back to their apartment they found a cameraman who was extremely annoyed at being left behind. Luckily, the leftovers meant for the birds put him in better spirits. Yuffie didn't mention they were supposed to be for the birds.

The day was spent bumming about the house. Kairi spent much of the day reading, while Yuffie checked over her surfing equipment. In the afternoon the girls and Zell took the birds for a picnic at a local park. While at the park Zack and Vincent clearly learned that Yuna was the top bird in this family.

As they walked back home from the park, Yuffie noticed that Kairi was frowning. It wasn't a large frown, but Yuffie had learned a long time ago that Kairi was great at hiding her disappointment.

"What's wrong, babe?" Yuffie asked.

"Oh it's nothing really," Kairi smiled faintly as she pushed some of her hair back. "It's just I thought my mom would have called by now."

'_Mrs. Hart's probably getting off her plane in another half hour,'_ Yuffie thought. _She won't be making any phone calls for a while yet. Think fast Yuffie!'_

"She's probably waiting until rates go down," Yuffie laughed. "You know most cell phone plans don't let the cheap rates kick in until nine and it's only just after five right now. I'm certain our phone will be ringing off the hook as soon as it's nine tonight."

Kairi brightened considerably. "You're probably right, Yuf, thanks."

Yuffie grinned back, feeling relieved. Usually Kairi saw through her lies. Either she was getting better at deception or else Kairi wasn't paying attention. Yuffie hoped it was the former, but suspected the latter.

When they got home again Yuffie fed the birds. Yuna seemed more than a little surprised to be getting greens so early, but she had a feeling that the party would stretch well into the night.

Once the birds were settled for the night, Yuffie declared they should go out for dinner and a drink.

"Sounds good," Kairi agreed. "Where do you plan on taking me?"

"I was thinking Tifa's," Yuffie replied. That was where the party was being held.

"You want to take me to Tifa's," Kairi started. "Seventh Heaven's grill is out of order, which means that they can't serve real food, which means no dinner."

'_Oh great, how can I talk her into going to her own party without letting her in on the surprise?'_ Yuffie wondered. _'Think fast, Yuffie, you're not a famous ninja for nothing… Wait a minute, why am I talking to myself when I need to come up with a plan?'_

"I know what we should have," Kairi said. "Fast food! I've wanted a burger and shake for a week or so now and just haven't gotten around to getting any."

"Great idea," Yuffie agreed. "Then we can head over to Tifa's, since she promised us free drinks."

This plan was quickly executed. Two trolley rides (both, much to Zell's distress, were on the roof) got them burgers and then to the area by Tifa's. Since Yuffie knew they were short on time, she managed to talk Kairi into eating on the second trolley ride. They did lose half the fries on the ride though.

"Are you certain Seventh Heaven is open? The 'closed' sign is up," Kairi pointed out.

'_Tifa did say this was going to be a private party,'_ Yuffie thought. "Well even if she's closed we'll still get our booze, since she lives right above the shop." Yuffie checked her watch. They were supposed to have been there three minutes ago. She jiggled the door, which was, of course, unlocked.

"I guess she's open," Kairi said uncertainly. "But if she calls the cops on us it's your fault."

Kairi slowly pushed the door open, Yuffie and Zell followed close behind. As soon as they were inside, Zell shut the door. It was extremely dark so that Yuffie could barely make out Kairi's outline.

"Yuffie?" Kairi started. "Do you have any idea where the light switch is?"

The lights suddenly blasted on. The trio was momentarily blinded. All the party members, who were all close friends of the girls, shouted surprise. Kairi screamed in terror. After a moment of silence Kairi grimly turned to Yuffie and grabbed her shoulder.

"You know I hate surprises, right?" Kairi hissed.

"Sorry," Yuffie whispered back. "But everybody's here, so it'll be a lot of fun. Look babe, this is the only way I can ever plan anything."

Kairi gave her a tired grin. "I don't know whether to kill you or kiss you." She turned to the crowd. "It's great to see everyone, really. My understanding is that this is my birthday party, but no one told me about it, so it's a bit of a shock. So I hope everyone has lots of fun."

This threw the party into full swing. Yuffie stuck close to Kairi so that she could get a chance to see all the guests. This was an excellent plan because every few minutes another group of friends would mob the birthday girl. At the moment Kairi was getting the life hugged out of her by her mother. Sora and Riku were also there, laughing at the expression on the redhead's face.

"I was wrong about your girlfriend, Kairi," Mrs. Hart bubbled on. "Did you know she flew your father and me up here? And you must know that she's famous. I've been doing a lot of research about her on the internet." She said 'internet' like it was two words.

'_Her opinion of me has really changed since I last saw her,'_ Yuffie silently laughed. She stopped laughing though when Mrs. Hart gave her a bone-crushing hug.

Sora and Riku came up to Kairi and wished her a happy birthday. They also promised to come back in a few months and have a proper visit. Link and Cloud then made an appearance, but also had to say that they needed to leave shortly. Mrs. Hart was very impressed by Kairi's boss and liked his son. Yuffie decided to not explain to Mrs. Hart that Cloud and Link were lovers and not related.

Several hours past before Tifa decided that it was time to bring out the cake. The obligatory 'Happy Birthday' was sung off key, with Demyx's squeaky voice soaring above the rest. The cake was handed out, then quickly devoured. All that was left was the opening of presents.

There were a lot of presents. Some of the more memorable presents were the complete set of Sherlock Holmes stories translated into Japanese from Olette, a copy of the game _Dance Dance Revolution: Extreme 2_ (Yuffie wasn't certain why it was 'Extreme 2,' but that's what it said) and dance pad from Demyx, and a bottle of wine from the year Kairi was born from Tifa. Whatever Axel gave his cousin caused Kairi's face to match her hair as she frantically shut the box. Finally the only present left was from Yuffie.

Yuffie eagerly waited to see what Kairi thought of it. She spent a lot of time trying to figure out what Kairi might want before stumbling upon the perfect gift. She knew Kairi would love it, but there was always that one tiny little doubt she'd hate it.

Kairi slowly unwrapped the package. Then she removed the box's top. She couldn't see the present yet though, the padding inside the box was in the way. Yuffie sucked in her breath; she couldn't help feeling nervous. Kairi carefully pushed the last of the padding away and gave a small yelp.

Everyone stared at the gift in shock. Finally Mrs. Hart gave indignantly squawked, "You gave my baby girl a sword!"

Inside the box there was indeed a sword. A keyblade, to be exact. It was mostly yellow with a red top and a blue handle. The teeth of the blade were shaped like flowers and a papou fruit on the end of the keychain.

Kairi carefully picked up the sword. She turned it, looking at it from all angles before saying, "It's heavier than it looks. With the delicate and… flowery design I thought it would be really light."

"Yuffie was horrified to find out you wanted to join our school's kendo club, but were never allowed to," Riku said. "We also mentioned the fact that you were always jealous of the fact that Sora and I were learning how to use a keyblade in combat."

"When we come back in a few months we'll see if you've actually learned anything," Sora laughed.

"Thank you everyone. These gifts are all wonderful and amazing. Even more importantly, I had so much fun seeing you all again," Kairi smiled at everyone, continuing her speech. "And while all of the major events are over, we've still got a place to party. So you guys can stay until you get tired out or else Tifa, our fabulous hostess, kicks us out. I mean, this is her bar and she lives upstairs."

"You can stay until two," Tifa shouted.

"That is, the party runs until two," Kairi corrected.

The party did indeed last until two in the morning. However there were only a few people left by that point. Yuffie, Kairi, and Zell were sticking around to clean up. Only then Yuffie realized that there was only one last trolley ride home and she know no one wanted to walk all the way home. Yelling a quick goodbye to Tifa and Rikku, the girls quickly ran off to catch their trolley. Zell opted to stick around and help Rikku out.

When they finally got home Kairi and Yuffie crawled straight into bed. They didn't take time to unpack any of the presents, although the sword managed to end up on the window seat between the chocobos.

"So, did you like my present?" Yuffie asked nervously.

"Yuffie," Kairi replied tiredly. "You are the only person in the world that would even _think_ of giving me a freaking sword for my birthday."

Yuffie was silent. Kairi wasn't using a very happy tone. _'Maybe I should have gotten her those high heels after all,'_ she thought unhappily.

"Thank you," Kairi whispered.

Yuffie wasn't certain what Kairi had said.

"Thank you for being that quirky, surprising, unusual, funny, wonderful woman that you are. That I love. That would buy me a freaking sword for my birthday," Kairi laughed, throwing her arms around Yuffie. "Don't ever change."

"I guess you did like it," Yuffie grinned.

"Yes I did," Kairi agreed. "Now go to sleep you big dope. We've gotta get up in the morning."

Yuffie grinned happily into her pillow. _'Mission accomplished,'_ she thought happily. _'I gave Kairi a great present, a cool party, and an awesome day. Now I'm gonna start teaching her how to use that keyblade tomorrow. Kairi's gonna be so excited… I can't wait for tomorrow.'_

Yuffie fell asleep shortly after that while listening to Kairi breathe. That was exactly how it should be.

* * *

Couple side notes: The drinking age in Twilight Town is eighteen and here's the money conversion system: 1 gill is equal to 2.5 munny and $1 (USA) is equal to 10 gil. Hope that clears any problems up! 

Wasn't it lovely to see the conclusion of chapter 12? I hope it was satisfactory to everyone's tastes and that they enjoyed it. I hope to hear what everyone thought of it, or what anyone thinks of OA in general, so please review. If you leave contact info, I will get back to you. I'm surprisingly good at that.


	13. Ice Cream and a Chocobo Show

MC: I am extremely serious when I say this; I finished writing this chapter on October 12th. The reason this chapter took so long to post was because I had a couple editors cop out on me. I spent a little over three weeks on two different editors (my regular and one person who's offered to edit in the past) before they both told me they couldn't mange editing. Now, because I didn't want to have you guys wait as long this time, I had my dad edit this. He knows literature and can discuss it at great length, but he isn't an editor. Believe me, I don't like having a parent edit, but I used him because I would rather have you all get this now than wait another month. At some point I may try to get this re-edited by a decent editor, but for now this will have to do. Please enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: Kingdom Hearts, its characters, and places all belong to Square Enix. There is no money being made off of this story. I wish that I owned more Kingdom Hearts stuff than copies of the games and a few action figures.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 13: Ice Cream and a Chocobo Show**

"Come on, come on… Damn it!" Kairi groaned, thumping her hand against the glass pane.

After missing out on breakfast and forgetting her wallet at home, Kairi was hungry. She had just spent all of the spare change she had scrounged out of her backpack to buy herself a Tonberry "so tasty you'll die" popsicle.

As the machine finished turning to drop her treat, her popsicle didn't fall. The edge of the wrapping had gotten caught on the top of the ring, so it just hung there in the air. It swung slightly, taunting the redhead. Unfortunately, she couldn't shake the machine enough to make her treat fall down, so she was stuck.

"I see you're cozying up to my favorite machine."

Kairi jumped slightly. She hadn't expected anyone to see her hugging the ice cream machine. "Hey, Roxas," she said, recognizing her friend. "Can you help me out?"

Roxas pushed her aside. He peered into the machine. "You're a Tonberry fan, eh?" he observed, pulling out some munny. "No accounting for taste."

"Tonberry is the only company that makes a decent blue raspberry or lime popsicle," she said, defensively.

"Well, as luck would have it," Roxas started, feeding his munny into the machine, "you picked the treat under my favorite snack." He hit the button labeled 'Sea Salt ice cream.'

The machine hummed with a new vibrancy. The metal ring turned quickly to let the Sea Salt ice cream fall. As it fell it hit the Tonberry popsicle, but didn't dislodge it.

"Don't worry about it," Roxas shrugged at Kairi's disappointed face. "I usually buy about four or five of these things at a time. We'll knock your Tonberry down."

After the fifth Sea Salt ice cream dropped, the Tonberry came down too. Kairi eagerly pulled her popsicle out and helped Roxas retrieve his own. She waited while Roxas brought his total frozen treats up to eight before leaving with him.

They walked for a little while until they had made it into one of Twilight U's undergraduate lounges. Olette was already seated next to a floor lamp with a mess of textbooks surrounding her. Roxas tossed her an ice cream and sat down between the books. He shoved Olette's copy of Greek Myths over so that there was space for his ice cream pile. Kairi squatted down next to a battered Chemistry book.

"Hey, Kairi," Olette greeted, unwrapping her ice cream. "Thanks Roxas. Oh, where did you guys run into each other?"

"Vending machine," Roxas said through a mouthful of Sea Salt. "The old girl was giving Kairi a hard time."

"You've personified a vending machine?" Kairi asked, dropping her licked clean stick back into its wrapping.

Roxas smiled, slightly embarrassed. "Axel's rubbing off on me."

"I hear that's not all he's been doing," Olette teased. "Weren't you just saying the other day that he grabbed you by the—"

"This line of conversation is ending _now_," Kairi interjected. Roxas grinned gratefully at her. "I don't mind hearing about Roxas' sex life, but when you throw my cousin into the mix, I don't wanna hear it."

"Holy cow! You're already done with your ice cream," Roxas said in surprise. "I haven't even finished my first one yet."

"I woke up so late this morning that I didn't have time for breakfast," Kairi explained. "Actually, I didn't even have time to change. I'm just glad I wore something presentable to bed."

"I was wondering why you were wearing flannel with stars all over it," Olette said.

"They're papou fruits."

"Here." Roxas handed Kairi a Sea Salt ice cream despite her protests. "Just take it," he said. "I don't need to gorge myself on seven bars; six is enough."

"Thanks Rox," Kairi smiled, taking a bite of her second bar.

They all ate in silence. Olette and Kairi finished their ice cream at roughly the same time. It took Roxas slightly longer to finish, but then again he was also eating six bars. He belched happily when he was done.

"Pig," Olette said. She turned to Kairi and asked, "Do you want to go out with me and Roxas tonight? We're going to see a musical."

"_The Wizard of Oz_," Roxas clarified. "The theater students have supposedly done an awesome job with it. It starts at seven."

"Thanks, but I can't," Kairi said. "I've got work, English to study, and I'm hoping to call Yuffie tonight. I think she's in Atlantis right now."

"Some other time then?" Olette asked.

"Definitely," Kairi promised. "Soon as winter break starts, after finals are over, we could go catch _As You Like It_ or something."

"Ah, break," Roxas sighed. "It's only three weeks away. Soon as break starts, I'm gonna kick Axel's ass in the traditional snowball war. I've got this great fortress planned out."

"I still can't believe it snows here," Kairi laughed. "Coming from tropical islands means that I find the current weather terribly frigid."

"But it's only 40ºF outside, that's still above freezing," Olette insisted. "We haven't even had our first snow yet."

Kairi stuck her tongue out at the brunette. "It's cold and that's that," she said, getting up from her seat. "Thanks for breakfast, Roxas, you're my hero. I'll see you guys later, okay? I have to visit Professor Wise." She left right after that.

**xxx**

"Okay I think we're actually done now," Kairi sighed.

She and Cloud had just finished going through a mock trial Cloud created. After finishing her normal work, Kairi was learning tips and proper conduct. Today Kairi had been learning how to listen for key points and how to point out flaws in the opposition's argument. She hadn't started law school yet, but Cloud wanted to give Kairi an edge and that meant learning how to properly defend her case.

"We're not actually finished," Cloud corrected, "but I guess this will do for now."

"Finally," the redhead said, starting to pack up Yuna's things.

"You do know that I don't have to share my experience," he said reproachfully.

"Sorry," Kairi apologized. "It's just, it's after nine and I had an early morning, Cloud. I have no idea how you manage getting up early enough to be here before seven after working late every night."

"Next week make certain that you have decent questions for the witness. Remember, you're trying to prove that our defendant intentionally tampered with the car's breaks to murder his wife."

"I need to get a mechanic and talk to the neighbor—" Kairi looked at her notes. "Mr. Z, right?"

"That should be everything," Cloud agreed. He looked at Yuna before looking at Kairi again. A queasy look crossed his face as he shifted uncomfortably.

"Is there something wrong, boss?" Kairi asked.

Cloud looked like he was in pain. "I want to ask you an inappropriate question," he finally said.

Kairi blinked. That was an odd statement for Cloud to make. Their relationship was professional. Cloud wouldn't even know where Kairi lived if he didn't need to mail her pay stubs. He thought asking Kairi for her middle name was inappropriate.

"Okay," Kairi slowly agreed. "However, I reserve the right to refuse to answer."

Cloud nodded in agreement. "Has Yuna ever …ever…" He waved his hand vaguely, trying to get his question across without words.

"Has she ever what?" Kairi asked.

Making scissoring motions in the air Cloud tried again. "Have you ever had her… her oviduct cut or tied, or whatever they do to birds?"

Kairi blinked again. She wasn't certain if she had heard him correctly. Asking if Yuna—who spent a lot of time in his law firm—was spayed did not seem like an inappropriate question. She certainly wouldn't want any birds laying eggs in her office.

"Are you asking if Yuna was spayed?" Kairi asked. "The answer to that is yes, just a few weeks after I got her."

Cloud sagged in relief. Giving her a weak smile he nodded. "Good to know."

"Why did you want to know?" Kairi asked. "And why couldn't you have asked Link? He _is_ Yuna's vet."

"Link wanted to know, but since it's for a non-medical reason, he's refusing to look in her file," Cloud explained. "I understand the need to protect patient doctor privileges, but I wish he had asked you himself."

"Odd," Kairi said, deciding that she should talk to Link the next day. Cloud simply shrugged before locking up the law firm.

Kairi and Yuna caught a ride home. When they got home Kairi checked the messages. There was one from Yuffie in which the ninja babbled happily about the current competition and how Aeris was as big as a house now from her pregnancy.

Unfortunately, it was too late for the college student to call her girlfriend back. The time difference between Twilight and Atlantis was too great._'I'll have to call her back in the morning,'_ she thought.

After eating a salad, Kairi worked on her homework. Nothing was due for another two weeks, but she wanted to have a week for editing and revisions. She took a shower and packed a lunch so that she wouldn't have to get up in the morning. Then, cuddling with Yuna in bed, Kairi promised to buy herself an alarm clock.

**xxx**

A few days later Kairi had Link over for tea and a play date for the birds. She still hadn't found out why Link wanted to know if Yuna could lay fertilized eggs if it wasn't for a medical reason. This way she could interrogate him while giving Yuna a chance to play with other birds.

"This really is excellent tea!" Link said, licking his lips as he set down his teacup. "What is it? It tastes like vanilla."

"It's Vanilla Nut Crème tea," Kairi said. "Thank you for bringing this lovely tea set. I know we have a traditional Japanese set somewhere, but I'm not certain how much of it is left after Axel tried juggling it."

"Goddesses above," Link moaned rubbing his temples. "That poor tea set. How could anyone be so cruel?"

Yuna and Zack came racing in with Vincent following behind. This was the fastest Kairi had ever seen her chocobo move, even faster than when she chased Yuffie around the house. It was good to see her bird getting a decent amount of exercise.

"You've got a beautiful little bird there," Link said, watching Yuna flutter up onto the back of a chair. "She's one of the better birds that I bred."

"That reminds me," Kairi started, grateful that she could finally ask him. "Why were you asking about Yuna the other day?"

"Oh, that," Link laughed sheepishly. "Well, as you know I used to be a breeder and I got out of the business after Cloud and I moved to Twilight. Even though I'm out of the business, I'm still a large part of the community. A couple of days ago, a particularly asinine breeder insulted my honor, so I want to show off one of the last birds I bred to prove him wrong."

"If you wanna show Yuna, you're welcome to," Kairi offered.

Link shook his head. "Birds have to be able to reproduce to be shown."

Kairi bit her lip in thought. She vaguely remembered all the chocobos in the pen with Yuna. There were many different colored birds as they ran about the pen. The problem was thought that she had no clue who else bought a bird. Vincent climbed into her lap and looked up at Kairi and looked up at her with his red eyes.

"Funky colors," Kairi said with a start. "There was a pink bird?"

"Marluxia, a rather idiotic bird from a poor cross," Link explained dryly. "He shares quite a few qualities with a breeder by that name."

'_Who else do I know owns a chocobo?'_ Kairi thought. "I think Professor Grey has one that eats his ties."

"A tie eating chocobo must have some abandonment issues," Link said worriedly. "Zack used to eat Cloud's ties until Vinny and I moved in."

"Really? I think the bird has a companion though," Kairi said, starting to remember more about the bird. "It was weird though. One of the birds was named Zexion, like my professor."

"I've got it," Link grinned. "Zexion and Demyx. Gray and dirty blonde males that I know weren't sold to a Zexion Grey."

"No, they belong to Demyx, his lover," Kairi finished triumphantly. "It was weird because the birds and humans corresponded to each other and even looked similar. Or at least that's what Yuffie told me."

"That's right," Link laughed. "Zexion would be great for showing. Demyx's comb was irregularly formed so he doesn't fit the qualifications, but Zexion would work well. He's even bred from the Trickster line, like Yuna there. They were from the same hatching."

Kairi pulled out an address book. Flipping through the book she found Demyx (and Zexion) in an entry near the back. Not wanting to even chance getting her old chemistry professor, she called Demyx's cell. He answered on the fourth ring.

"Look Zexy, I'm sorry but I refuse to give back your diploma or your favorite fountain pen until you agree to meet my parents," was the man's greeting.

"Umm, Dem, this is Kairi, Yuffie's girlfriend, remember?" Kairi said.

"Kairi! Oh, wow I thought you were someone else," Demyx laughed.

"I never would have guessed," Kairi said dryly.

"Sorry," Demyx said again. "So what can I do ya for?"

"Do you remember where you got your birds?"

"Yeah, it was this cute little kid with three birds for sale. I bought Zexy and Dem from him. He was our vet for a while… actually I think he still might be, but the birds haven't been in to the vet's in ages. Little Zexy always seems to know when I'm planning on taking him. He then drags Little Dem into his hiding spot. I still haven't found it."

Kairi smiled at the image of Demyx being outwitted by a chocobo. Demyx was a nice and intelligent guy, but he tended to lose things. That seemed to include chocobos. Little Zexy probably just blended into the couch and hid in plain sight.

"Link, Dr. Kokiri, is now trying to track down those chocobo," she said.

"Why's he doing that?"

"He's hoping to show one of your birds in a contest to regain his honor as a breeder."

"Would Zexy have any chance of actually winning?" Demyx had instinctively realized which bird was more showable. "I won't have his confidence getting ruined."

'_If he's anything like the real Zexion there's nothing to worry about,'_ Kairi thought privately, but she repeated Demyx's concern out loud for Link to hear. At the doctor's silent affirmations, she said, "Yeah, Link thinks he'll win."

"I'm in," Demyx agreed. "Zexy, that is my boyfriend, says I need a hobby so helping Little Zexy win a bird show is just the perfect thing."

"Great," Kairi said before hanging up. Then turning to Link she said, "We've got ourselves a bird."

**xxx**

Link launched a chocobo training program for Little Zexy the next day. For the next two and a half weeks Kairi spent her spare time with Demyx and Link as they trained Zexion the chocobo. During this time Little Zexy, Little Dem, Yuna, Zack, and Vincent were practically inseparable.

Kairi couldn't believe how much progress was made. Little Zexy, who completely ignored Demyx when he begged the bird to come to him, was through hoops and putting puzzles together for Link. Demyx would have been jealous about the relationship between Link and Little Zexy, but the vet was also teaching Demyx how to get the chocobo to follow his orders.

Link decided to register Little Zexy three days before the show was to take place. Kairi was more than a little surprised to see that the chocobo show was being held in the sports stadium. As they waited in line, Link explained that chocobo racing was the second most popular sport around and so mini chocobos (which is what Yuna and the others were) were extremely popular as pets and show animals.

As they were leaving registration, Link was pushed down. Link was smiling as he got up from the floor, but when he saw who pushed him, a scowl formed on his face. Link must have known the pink haired man who pushed him. The pink haired man glared back at Link.

"I'm soo sorry, Link," the man drawled as he looked at his nails. "But you can't honestly expect me to be looking for someone only knee high."

"Marluxia," Link growled. "It's such a surprise to see you."

"Is it now?" Marluxia asked, smirking. "I thought I was the one who stayed in the breeding business. Breeding chocobos really isn't something children should do."

"I'm the child?" Link laughed in disbelief. "I'm the guy with the veterinary doctorate degree specializing in avian and equines care."

"What are equines?" Demyx whispered to Kairi, clutching Little Zexy.

"Horses," Kairi whispered back, not taking her eyes off the verbal catfight. "And avian means bird."

Marluxia snorted and flapped his hand in the air. "Like an itty bitty scrap of paper really makes that big of a difference, Linkykins."

"That scrap of paper represents four years of veterinary school!"

"At the toughest school around before going on to intern for the Chocobo Sage. Yes, yes, we know. I don't care that you spent several years in a slum city before spending even more time with a doddering old fool. All you really did was stay in school like a good little boy and care for the elderly, like the good little Cub Scout you are."

"I'm not a Cub Scout," Link mumbled, completely not noticing all the other insults.

"You're right, my apologizes," Marluxia simpered, a hand over his mouth. He leaned over so that he could look Link in the eye. "A big boy like you isn't in the Cub Scouts, you're a _Boy Scout_."

"Did you even bring a bird?" Link snapped.

"Oh honey, my little Queenie and I registered yesterday. Where's your bird, Link?"

Link pointed proudly at Little Zexy in Demyx's arms. "That is Zexion fa Illiastan de Germanium, of the direct Trickster line."

Marluxia looked impressed. "How the devil did you manage to cross with the Trickster line?" he demanded, peering at Little Zexy. "They're fucking impossible to breed with." He waggled a finger in the chocobo's face. "Coochie coochie coo."

Little Zexy didn't seem to like Marluxia or his finger. To show this fact he bit said finger. Screaming in pain the pink haired man jerked his finger away. Little Zexy however was still connected to the finger, so he went with the finger. So as the breeder waved his hand about, the gray chocobo went flying after it.

"Zexy!" Demyx screamed, lunging after the bird.

Kairi was about to rush into the fray when she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Let's let them fight it out for a movement, shall we?" a woman purred into Kairi's ear. She ran a couple of fingernails across Kairi's petrified face.

"Larxene?" Kairi squeaked. She wasn't expecting to run into Axel's friend here at a chocobo completion.

"Hmm?" Larxene looked at her. "Do I know you?"

"No sir. We've met at Axel's house once, but that's it."

"Ah, how's the idiot been?"

"He's fine, busy with his boyfriend," Kairi said, wincing at a high-pitched scream.

"Is he?" Larxene glowered. "I didn't know he had one. Little weasel didn't mention he had a new fuck toy when I last saw him a week ago. I'll need to inspect the boy then." She floated over to Marluxia and wrapped an arm around his neck. The giant breeder instantly still at her touch. "Marly, it's time to visit Axel. Say good bye to your friends," she ordered.

Demyx gently pulled Little Zexy off Marluxia's finger. Link reached over and petted he chocobo's head protectively. All three of them glared at Marluxia.

Marluxia glared back. "This isn't over," he hissed, following Larxene out the building.

'_I am so sorry I mentioned you to her, Roxas,'_ Kairi silently apologized as she watched the two leave. When she turned to the others, she noticed that Link was crying. "Hey," she started, wrapping an arm around Link's shoulders. "It's going to be okay, Link."

"I should be crying," Link said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, "but I hate him so much."

"Who was that ass?" Demyx demanded, trying to calm his chocobo down.

After running a hand over his face the vet said, "That was Marluxia, jack ass extraordinar. We were in vet school together until I caught him cheating off of one of my tests. I called him on it and he was thrown out." Link shook his head, still crying. "I'm sorry you guys, I just can't deal with him."

"Is he why we're entering Zexy in the bird show?" Kairi asked. Link nodded.

"We are going to kick that guy's bird's ass!" Demyx announced. He looked at his chocobo and repeated the statement. Little Zexy cheeped in agreement.

Demyx and Little Zexy left shortly after that. They wanted to run through the routine a few more times before the contest. Kairi, feeling that Link wouldn't want to cry in front of his associates, took him to a nearby café. Link was in control of his emotions again by the time their orders were ready.

"I'm sorry I put you through that terrible display," Link said.

"It's fine, really," Kairi assured, "I just don't get why that jerk got you crying. Was it the little kid jokes? They seemed to really bug you, but I'm certain there have been a lot of jokes like that in your life."

Link shook his head. "I met Marluxia when I moved into my dorm room as a very young freshmen," he recounted. "He was the first friend I made in this country. He's the guy that got me into racing chocobos. Before that I had only been a jockey for horse racing."

"So he was the guy who got you into chocobos?"

"Yeah, he also introduced me to Cloud, who was another jockey… I know; Cloud really doesn't seem like one. Marluxia was my best friend and I trusted him completely. It wasn't until vet school that I found out he had been using me for over three years."

"That must have been awful."

"I still haven't gotten over it, which is rather pathetic," Link said resignedly, shrugging. "He still knows how to push all my buttons even though it's been years."

"I'm so sorry, Link," Kairi said, touching his hand.

"This is why I need to win, to prove that I truly am better than he is," Link explained. "Even though I know I'm better than he is—since I've never cheated or cut corners—I don't think I'll ever actually believe that until I actually beat him at something."

'_He has an inferiority complex just like Sora had until he finally beat Riku in a sword competition,'_ Kairi thought. "Even if we don't take first place," she started. "We are going to beat Marluxia. Now let's got you home."

**xxx**

Link and Demyx were hyperventilating. In ten minutes Little Zexy was going on stage. Kairi didn't really know what to do. Taking a deep breath Kairi grabbed both boys by the shoulder and ordered them to shut up, take a deep breath, and prep Little Zexy.

Her order must have worked, because the boys were able to follow her instructions. Seeing that Link and Demyx now had things under control, Kairi returned to her seat with Yuffie and Yuna. Yuffie, who had just gotten home last night, kissed Kairi as the redhead sat down.

"So they'll be going on soon?" the ninja asked.

Kairi nodded, "Next act."

There was a polite round of clapping as the last chocobo left the ring. Then Little Zexy entered the ring as his formal show name was called out. Quite a few people around the girls whispered in excitement over the fact that he was of the Trickster line. Link strode into the ring with Demyx nervously following.

"Is there something important about this Trickster thing?" Yuffie asked, absently petting Yuna.

Kairi nodded. "I think the Trickster was a really famous chocobo, named after a famous legend. Then Zexion there was born of his lineage," Kairi explained.

Zexion the chocobo looked confident, as usual. The first thing he did was go through the compulsory obstacle course. Leaping through the hoops, crossing a tight rope, climbing a ladder, before sliding down a slide. After he finished the obstacle course, the silver chocobo put together a hundred piece puzzle in under three minutes. It formed a boat. All of Little Zexy's movements were being projected onto a large screen TV so that all the observers could see what he was doing.

Demyx pulled out a plastic fish bowl full of slips of paper. He fished out one of the slips. "Hey, Zexy," Demyx called out to get the bird's attention. Once Little Zexy was focused on him, Demyx read, "What is three plus three?"

Little Zexy warked six times while he scratched a "V" and then an "I" with a piece of chalk onto a black board. There was a murmuring through the crowd. People whispered around the girls that the trick couldn't possibly be true.

Link read off, "one plus eight." This got Little Zexy to cheep out nine times and scratched out a roman numeral nine.

They did this several times and Little Zexy answered each math problem correctly. Then to prove this wasn't a cheap memorization trick, Link had the announcer, who had never seen the chocobo before, ask Zexion a question. The chocobo answered it flawlessly. This made the crowd go ecstatic. They had a real mathematician in the ring.

"Khew, khew!" Yuna cheeped, fluttering happily. Kairi laughed at her chocobo's enthusiasm.

All of a sudden Queen of Hearts, Marluxia's red chocobo, hopped into the ring. She warked violently at Zexion several times. Whatever she yelled at him made the silver chocobo puff up angrily. Then Queen of Heart tossed Little Zexy a deck of cards. He pulled open the deck and spread the contents all out face up.

"Oh shit," Kairi swore when she saw Little Zexy messing around with the cards.

"What is it? What's wrong, babe?"

"We didn't teach him anything about cards. Link didn't think that card tricks would be needed; none of us expected a duel involving cards."

It appeared that the birds had decided to create buildings. Queen of Hearts quickly started building with her heart only deck. Building palaces was her signature move. Little Zexy however, was having problems. He had never tried to pick up a card, much less put together a house made of cards.

Kairi started freaking out. Queen of Hearts' creation was getting farther and farther a long as Zexion fell behind. He stopped working and simply watched the red chocobo work. This contest was part of the official competition, but she was certain that the judges would include this display in their final decision about Zexion.

'_Come on, Zexy,'_ she though, barely believing she was actually thinking this_, 'kick that little harlot's feathery fanny.'_

Moments after the thought formed Little Zexy picked up a card. With new vigor the silver chocobo started building. Copying the same motions the other chocobo used, Zexion managed to get two cards to stand upon their own. Seeing that it stood properly, Zexion crept over to the side of the ring and stole another stack of cards before actually starting his project. Ten minutes passed before the chocobos stepped away from their respective masterpieces.

Queen of Hearts had built a castle. It was maybe three cards high at the top points, but the majority of the structure was two cards high. All the cards were hearts in the traditional red format, and they weren't arranged in any particular order. It was glaringly red, although every now and then there was a card with the back accidentally showing. All in all it was an impressive structure; just like the one she had built earlier that night.

Little Zexy's building looked more like a pagoda than a castle. It was a thin structure, unlike the castle, and was made simply of card pyramid stacked upon card pyramid, which formed thirteen layers. This was more than twice Little Zexy's height. Each layer was surrounded by four cards, covering the supportive skeleton the way a skyscraper hides its steel beams.

What made Little Zexy's building so unusual was that the bottom layer was made of aces, the second twos, and this pattern continued all the way up to the thirteenth floor being kings. Each layer also alternated between red and black, starting with the aces being clubs and spades. This was an extremely meticulous feat that couldn't have occurred by accident. It was also amazingly impressive since the bird had never held a card in his claws before in his life.

The judges got up from their table to inspect their creations. Kairi felt that Little Zexy's was better one, but she was biased. As the judges circled round and took notes, one of them tripped and fell between the structures. The force of his fall created a wind that toppled Queen of Hearts' castle. Zexion pagoda sways a bit and lost a few of the superfluous cards, but the structure remained sound. The crowd burst into cheers.

A few more birds went after Little Zexy, but none put on much of a show. They seemed to already know they were beaten. After the last bird waddled out of the ring, the judges huddled into a conference. The audience started whispering among themselves.

"That was pretty cool," Yuffie said.

"Totally," Kairi agreed, taking Yuna. "I really hope Zexion fa Illiastan wins. It would be a shame if he didn't after all that work. It was amazing to see him build that card tower. Link hadn't had time to teach him any card tricks."

"Then how did he build that tower?"

"My bet is that he learned by watching Queen of Hearts," Kairi said. "Dem did say Little Zexy was smart… maybe I didn't give either of them enough credit and that bird really does have a hiding place."

"Now you're starting to sound like me," the ninja laughed. The redhead deemed sticking out her tongue as the only suitable response.

The announcer informed the audience that the judges had made a decision. The crowd fell silent, waiting for the results. The three of them eagerly held their breath. All of a sudden a light blue chocobo appeared on the wide screen. There was a blue ribbon on the bird's breast and the name underneath it was Snowdrop upon Ivilace por Zolomkey.

"That isn't Zexy," Yuffie said, pointing out the obvious.

Kairi shook her head, trying not to cry. She hadn't known about the contest for a very long time, but she had really wanted Zexion to win. _'Demyx and Little Zexy are going to be disappointed,'_ she thought. _'Link is going to be crushed. He really wanted to win. I hope he still manages to place above Marluxia.'_

Then the screen changed to show a silvery-gray chocobo with a red ribbon. The bird had rather an aloof expression on its face as its breeder and owner hugged him ecstatically. The name underneath it read Zexion fa Illiastan de Germanium.

While Little Zexy was on screen, Little Dem suddenly fluttered on screen. To the gray bird's mortification, Little Dem started preening him in the middle of his moment. A chuckle ran through the crowd. He tired to chase the other bird away, but Little Dem ignored his protests and didn't stop preening Little Zexy until he deemed him done.

"Holy shit!" Yuffie crowed, leaping up from her seat. "Those guys really did it! Zexy! Zexy!"

Laughing at her girlfriend's exuberance, Kairi couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed. Yuffie had drawn the attention of everyone in their general vicinity. Still, no one was complaining and both bird and girl were having fun, so Kairi decided to just go with the flow.

After the first ten birds were announced with their picture, the rest of the names and placement were quickly scrolled through. All rankings would also be posted online. This was the end of the show. The audience lest in mass. Kairi hung back so that she could congratulate Link and Demyx.

As all four the chocobo lovers walked away, Marluxia stormed up to them. "You little bitch!" he snarled before lunging at Link.

Link flinched expecting to have a tall angry man ripping up his face. Kairi, Yuffie, and Demyx all surged forward to try and stop Marluxia. He didn't actually make it onto Link though. Cloud had suddenly appeared and instantly restrained the enraged breeder.

"If you dare touch him," Cloud said. "I will rip out every single hair on your head."

"Let me go!" Marluxia bellowed, struggling to get free. Cloud shoved him against the wall again.

"Thank you, Cloud," Link said, breathing heavily. He stepped back so that both Cloud Demyx were between him and Marluxia.

"That bastard stole my Queenie's fame. She would have won if he hadn't messed things up!"

"Marluxia, shut up. You're making a scene."

Kairi turned to see Larxene swagger up. She was clad in leather and carried two leashes. They were attached to collars on Axel and Roxas. Neither boy looked happy. When Marluxia saw her, he stopped struggling and Kairi was again amazed by the power Larxene had over him. Larxene just shook her head.

"I thought I only needed two collars," she said. Larxene shook her head. "Guess I was wrong. Axel, I'm unhooking you so pinky can be put on a leash."

"If you even think of leaving me with her, you'll never have sex again," Roxas hissed, livid. Axel blanched, but took Roxas' hand.

Seeing that Roxas had his claws in Axel, Larxene unhooked the collar from the redhead's neck. In one swift motion Larxene snapped the collar around Marluxia's neck. She slapped him twice for good measure. He didn't move and simply took the abuse silently.

"I thought you were mature enough to be left alone while I talked with Axel," she said. "When I get back I find you fighting. You were only alone for two hours. Do you have anything to say?"

"No, mistress?"

"When I tell you to be a good little boy, does that mean you should get into fights that could make you lose your license and my source of income?"

"No."

"No?"

"No, mistress," Marluxia hastily corrected.

Larxene tightened the collar. She smirked at Kairi and others. "Don't make dear little Marly get in trouble with the law. The cops are such a bore. I assure you, he will be punished. Fire Crotch, get the bird!"

Kairi twitched, squelching the urge to slap Larxene. She noticed Axel leaped forward and grabbed the bird carrier with Queen of Hearts in it. Realizing that Larxene was actually referring to her redheaded cousin, Kairi managed to stop her girlfriend from socking the blonde. When Yuffie also realized that the "Fire Crotch" was Axel, she calmed down.

If Larxene noticed this exchange, she didn't say anything and simply left dragging the man behind her. The entire group seemed to let out a sigh of relief. After bidding Link, Demyx, Cloud, and the birds farewell, the girls left for home. The guys planned on going out to celebrate and the girls just wanted to stay in.

When they got home Yuffie asked, "You game for a movie?"

"What movie?" Kairi asked.

"_The Birds_."

Kairi glanced at Yuna. "Sure, as long as our darling doesn't get any ideas."

Yuna just cheeped innocently as Yuffie stuck in the film. She was a good little chocobo. None of them got much sleep. Yuffie and Yuna had way too much fun reenacting their own version of _The Birds_.

Kairi watched as Yuffie and Yuna were playing hide-and-seek with the kitchen cabinets. _'They're crazy, but I'll keep them,'_ Kairi thought. _'Life wouldn't be half as fun without them.'_

* * *

That was chapter 13. Again, I apologize for the long wait for this chapter. It would mean a lot to me if you would review this. It doesn't take that long to review and I love hearing what people think of my work. I'm also pretty good about replying to reviews if there's contact information. Chapter 14 will come when it comes, but I can promise you all that Ordinary Adventures isn't dead yet. 


	14. Visitors and Speed Skating

MC: Hey there, sorry about the wait. I've had college applications, a birthday, holidays, a lot of large tests and projects, then my editor forgot about this chapter for a bit (and believe me, you don't want to read this unedited). At least this is a nice long chapter to make up for that nasty little fact. I hope you all like and review this chapter, even though I've been a bit of a bad little author. My editor said some of the hospital stuff grossed her out—I really didn't think it was anything too detailed—so you have been warned. Now you can go and read so have fun!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kairi, I don't own Yuffie, and I don't own Kingdom Hearts. I do have a Cloud Strife action figure and recently I bought a mini Link figure. They are happy together, but that still doesn't change the fact that I'm not making any money. In fact I'm losing money as I continue to buy Kingdom Hearts action figures.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 14: Visitors and Speed Skating**

As the ferry bumped against the dock, Yuffie vomited over the rail again. She always got seasick or airsick whenever there was the slightest amount of turbulence, which is why Yuffie preferred to drive whenever possible. At least for once Yuffie wasn't the only one with her head over the railing.

"Are you alright, honey?" Leon asked, rubbing Aeris' back.

Yuffie nearly vomited again. Hearing Squall Leonhart, the man who would have shot Lassie without a thought, using terms of endearment was sickening. Last night the ninja-surfer accidentally walked in on Leon cooing at his unborn child, which looked like Leon cooing to Aeris' bellybutton. The memory was burned into Yuffie's brain.

"I'm alright, Leon," Aeris said. "I just wish people actually mentioned that morning sickness could outlast the first trimester, or that it wasn't simply restricted to the morning." She had been having morning sickness for all eight months of her pregnancy. "Why don't you check on Yuffie?"

"She's fine," Leon said, without even glancing in Yuffie's direction.

"I am not!" Yuffie shouted. "And shouldn't you be more worried about me? Your meal ticket!" Leon ignored her. _'Fine, be that way,'_ Yuffie thought, annoyed. _'See if I'll ever babysit for you.'_

Yuffie stomped away from the lovebirds. Since the boat was finally docked, Yuffie was able to get off. She quickly grabbed her bags and hopped off the boat. With solid ground under her feet, Yuffie felt better already.

Yuffie scanned the crowd, curious to see if anyone had come to meet them. Kairi was in the middle of her last final at the moment, so she wouldn't be here, but Rikku might. She didn't see any strawberry blondes though. Instead the ninja suddenly got a face full of bosom.

"Tifa!" Yuffie shouted, struggling to breathe. "Let go! You're choking me."

"It's good to see you, kiddo," Tifa said after she released Yuffie. "I heard you won the last contest you were in. Congrats."

"Thanks Tifa," Yuffie said, laughing.

"How was the trip with a pregnant lady?"

"Difficult. Aeris, of course, is an angel, but Leon's been acting bipolar, being sweet to Aeris, and biting everyone's head off. That includes mine. I may need to get another manager until the baby's done nursing."

"Isn't Two-K your other manager?"

"Sorta," Yuffie said. "She doubles as my manager/publicist/enteroger… although Leon takes care of most of the business crap."

By this point Leon and Aeris had gotten off the ferry. Tifa and Aeris shared a much gentler hug; Yuffie figured that Tifa didn't want to crush the baby. After more greetings were exchanged, the four left the docks.

Tifa had brought her truck; this meant that Tifa and Aeris got to ride in the cab, while Yuffie, Leon, and their stuff rode in the open back. The ride home was bumpy. Yuffie wasn't fond of being thrown about by any twist or turn and nearly fell out once. Luckily Leon was able to pull her back in. It impressed Yuffie that Leon was actually a strong guy, he really didn't look like it.

Tifa dropped Yuffie off first. Even though Aeris and Leon had recently moved to Twilight Town--there was more room for a family than in Tokyo—they were still farther out than Yuffie's apartment. Yuffie waved goodbye to the others until they were no longer in sight.

At that point Yuffie went up to her own apartment. As soon as she was inside, Yuffie dropped her bags. She flopped on the couch and turned on the television. All that seemed to be on were telenovelas and judge shows. Despite Demyx's ravings about _El Serpiente en la Hiebra_, Yuffie chose the judge show.

The judge show was boring, but at least she knew what was going on. The show changed to a different judge a couple of times. Yuffie was getting more than a little sick of watching small-minded people in small claims court. Luckily, the doorbell rang.

Yuffie hopped up and loped over to the intercom. Hitting the reply button, she asked who it was. She hoped it wasn't another insurance salesman; they scared her a lot, especially with all their complaints about her "dangerous job."

"This is Riku calling for Kairi," warbled the intercom.

"She isn't here right now," Yuffie said. "Shall I tell her you stopped by?"

There was a muffled noise and then a pop. Riku had let go of the intercom. A moment later the intercom crackled back to life.

"Hey there, you're Yuffie, right?" a new voice said. "It's Sora, remember me? You were at my wedding and—"

"Of course I remember you," Yuffie said. "You're a pretty cool guy, Sora. Wanna come up and wait for Kairi?"

"Can I bring my husband?"

"Sure!"

Before the intercom went dead Yuffie heard Riku grumble about not being recognized when Sora was easily recognized. Yuffie laughed quietly as she waited for them to appear. Visiting childhood friends would be the perfect distraction for her.

A few minutes after they left the intercom there was a knock at the door. The surfer gleefully opened the door to reveal two tired looking men carrying suitcases. The brunet with spiky hair—Yuffie was certain that was Sora—waved at her. The ninja stealthily grabbed Sora's bag as she welcomed them inside.

"So what are you guys doing in town?" Yuffie asked.

"Riku and I are on winter break now," Sora began.

"And Sora did promise Kairi that we would visit during the holidays," Riku said.

"So we're spending the holidays in Twilight Town," Sora finished.

"But we'll be going back to Radiant Garden for J-term," Riku added.

There was a moment of silence before Yuffie burst out, "This is gonna be so cool! Are you guys staying with us?"

"No, Sora made reservations so…" Riku trailed off as he looked at Sora's face. "You didn't forget, right?"

"I tried on four different occasions to make reservations," Sora said. "Each time I tried you jumped on me and demanded sex. How could I deny you anything, especially that? Besides, you promised to make the reservations when I was on that fourth try."

"Arrug! You know I'd promise you anything for sex if I'm horny! How am I supposed to remember what I said?"

"Should I take that as a yes?" Yuffie asked.

Both boys nodded sheepishly. They seemed to have forgotten that she was there. Yuffie stuffed them into the spare bedroom. It didn't look like they could both fit at first, but Sora stuffed their bags under the bed and everything then seemed okay.

After the boys were settled in, Yuffie was stuck talking with them. It wasn't really that bad. Sora and Riku were actually quite entertaining, especially when Sora found out Riku was hiding candy canes and the boy proceeded to maul Riku for the sugary treats. Yuffie was more than a bit amazed at the way Sora managed to squeeze himself into the sweater Riku wore. It had looked sung on just Riku, yet the brunet was in it too, checking his husband's collar for candy canes.

"Do you often hide candy canes like this?" Yuffie asked?

"Not if we're going out in public," Riku responded.

"Ah," Yuffie said. "So what have you two been up to since the marriage?"

"School mostly. I'm going to Hollow Bastion University in Radiant Garden and Sora is… staying out of my pants. I didn't stick them there."

"Oh, that's usually a good bet," Sora said.

"Yes, but that's a bad place to just carry them," Riku said. "It's really awkward and I didn't think you'd find out about the candy yet."

"So what's Sora up do?" Yuffie asked, getting the conversation back on topic. Riku gave her another embarrassed smile. It seemed like they had forgotten about her again. _'Forget me again and I'll sic Yuna on you,'_ she thought.

"I work full time at a coffee shop," Sora said. "I'm also taking classes at Garden Junior College. Don't really know what I wanna be yet."

"I still don't really know what I'm gonna be either," Yuffie said, grinning. "I mean, I love surfing and I want to do that for as long as possible, but being a pro athlete is tough. Wipeouts really mess ya up bad and by the time I'm forty, I doubt I'd be able to keep up wit the younger pros."

"Riku's training to be an architect though," Sora said proudly. "He's really amazing at it."

Riku smirked and pulled Sora into a tight hug. It looked strange, considering the position they were in. Yuffie was certain normal humans couldn't get that close. They looked like a single organism.

"I'm third in my class," Riku said.

'_Soku, Rira?'_ Yuffie thought, nodding absent-mindedly. _'What would you call them if they really are a single organism?'_

"If everything goes well, I'll be creating houses in a year and a half. But enough about us, what's Kairi up to?"

"She's got a final right now," Yuffie said. She checked the kitchen clock. "Actually, she should be home pretty soon now."

"Found it!" Sora announced, holding up a chain of mini candy canes he had pulled from behind Riku's belt. His stomach rumbled loudly.

'_Oh God, we don't have to feed them do we?'_ Yuffie wondered in horror. She had heard stories about the bottomless pit commonly referred to as Sora from Kairi.

Riku, sensing Yuffie's fear, spoke up. "Since we're staying with you and Kairi, we should really buy dinner. Know any decent places nearby, Yuffie?"

"There's a good Thai place on the corner," Yuffie said. At the look on Riku's face she added, "and a grocery store two blocks down on Devine Rose."

"We'll go there and pick up supplies."

"Riku's a really good cook," Sora said. "I'm not bad, but Riku's amazing."

"I like your cooking," Riku said as they left the apartment. Yuffie didn't hear the response.

Noticing how messy the apartment was, Yuffie felt obligated to clean up. All of the study guides, textbooks, note packets, and stray assignments were stacked up into one monstrous pile around the living room and kitchen. The ninja then swiped all the dirty dishes and food wrappers that were strewn about, cackling slightly as she did so (usually Yuffie was the one to forget her dishes), and stuck them in the sink. She pulled the wrappers out of the sink and put them in the trash after she thought about the fact that no, the garbage disposal couldn't handle plastic wrappers.

"I thought you weren't back until tomorrow."

"Kairi!" Yuffie squealed, leaping onto her girlfriend.

Not being able to withstand the force of a flying ninja, Kairi hit the wall. Yuffie didn't really notice though, as she was too busy hugging the life out of the redhead.

"Yeah, I love you too, Yuf," Kairi said, weakly patting the older girl's shoulder. "Could you let go of me though? You're turning my visceral organs into jelly."

"Sorry," Yuffie said, grinning. She gave Kairi a quick peck. "So? How was the test? I bet you did great! I know you've studied really hard and probably know everything in the book."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I don't know anywhere near as much as you seem to think I do," Kairi said. "Still, I think all my tests went well."

"Well, hey, I'm excited that you are finally on winter break. This year you're learning how to ice skate!"

"Do you really think it's smart putting me on a pair of tiny knives and expecting me to travel?" Kairi asked. "If I break an ankle, you're sleeping on the couch until it heals."

Yuffie wrapped an arm around Kairi's shoulders. "If you break an ankle, not only will I sleep on the couch, I'll wait on you hand and foot." Kairi turned an interesting shade of off white. "Or I could simply stay out of your way and take care of Yuna."

"I like that plan better." Kairi sat down at the kitchen table and kicked off her heels. She started emptying her backpack on the table. "You know I saw a really weird sight on the way home."

"What was that?" Yuffie asked, handling Kairi a glass of pineapple juice. She wasn't a big fan of the stuff, but Kairi liked it. Yuffie figured it had to do with the redhead growing up in the topics.

"I could have sworn I saw Sora and Riku," Kairi said, laughing slightly. "Isn't that funny? I almost called out to them, but then realized it couldn't be them. After all, they live in Radiant Garden and that's about three hours away."

The bell rang and Yuffie cursed her luck. That was probably the boys coming back from their shopping. Still, it seemed a bit early for them to be back if they had just left. _'Maybe it's someone else?'_ Yuffie thought. _'Although if it is, I don't know what we're gonna do with five people.'_

Kairi had apparently deemed them safe and buzzed them up. Moments later Kairi opened the door to reveal Axel and Roxas. They cheerfully entered and invited themselves to dinner.

'_Make that six,'_ Yuffie amended.

Sora and Riku arrived with armfuls of food half an hour later. Kairi looked shocked, but Yuffie could tell she was pleased. She hadn't seen either boys in ages and they were basically out of food.

After initial greetings and reintroductions were made, Kairi turned to Yuffie. "Why didn't you tell me they were in town?"

"Well I was about to," Yuffie said. "But then Axel and Roxas showed up so I couldn't."

By this point Riku had taken over the kitchen. Axel was moving living room furniture around (and making a complete mess while he was at it) to make room for all the dinner guests. Sora hailed Kairi in order to get her to taste the sauce he and Roxas were making.

Realizing that this was her last chance, Yuffie pulled Kairi back. "Sora and Riku are also staying with us."

Kairi's head jerked back. "What? For how long?"

"Couple days. A week, maybe?"

"Shit, we've got New Year's plans."

"Maybe they can go to a club."

"Kairi, if you don't get over here and try the sauce, I've adding more garlic," Sora called out.

"And if you add any, I'm murdering you with a…" Roxas trailed off as he dug in a kitchen drawer. He whipped out a wisk with a flourish. "With an egg beater."

"That's a wisk," Riku said, not even looking up from the main course.

"Well, it's metal and it would hurt if I shoved it in your face," Roxas said. "Right Axel?"

"Sure babe," Axel said, pushing a chair an inch to the left. "Whatever you say."

Roxas sighed, setting down the wisk. "They're not taking me seriously."

"It's the sweater vest," Sora said. "That beige checkered thing oozes wishy washyness. Be a man, wear red!"

"Says the man who still sleeps with his stuffed kitty doll," Riku said, pinching his husband's derriere. Sora squealed and attacked his lover with the sauce spoon.

"I don't think we're allowed in the kitchen," Kairi said.

"Nope," Yuffie agreed.

"Where's Yunie?" Kairi asked.

"Dunno. Haven't seen her since I got home."

"I bet she's in our room," Kairi said after a moment. "Let's go check."

Yuffie walked into the bedroom. Mountains of books did not began in to cover the amount of textbooks she saw. There were roughly three narrow pathways between the waist high stacks of books that were completely covered with clothing and just general things they had collected.

"How are you managing to survive in here?" Yuffie asked. "I'm supposed to be the messy one, but this is insane."

"I was going to clean things up tonight," Kairi said ruefully.

"I remember my sophomore year of college and it did not involve anywhere near as many books."

"You also weren't taking advanced courses or trying to fit four years of college in three."

Yuffie tripped on one of her trophies that had overflowed from the top of her dresser. She felt a little bit like Godzilla as she fell, crushing the buildings of books in her way to the floor. A loud wark sounded as Yuna fluttered out if the wreckage. She landed on Yuffie's head.

Kairi squatted down next to Yuffie and brushed the hair out of the surfer's eyes. "I forgot to say this earlier, but welcome home." Kairi kissed Yuffie gently on the lips. Then in a firm voice she asked, "Did you break anything in that tumble?"

**xxx**

Yuffie yawned as she sat up stiffly. She pulled a book out of the small of her back and tossed it on the floor with the others. She pulled another book out of her pillow and let it join the others on the floor. Seeing that she was along in the bedroom, Yuffie stumbled out to the living room.

Axel and Roxas were still passed out on the couch. They had passed out before Kairi had time to pull out the bed in the couch, so they looked a bit cramped. Yuffie padded past them into the kitchen.

Yuna slept in the center of the kitchen table. Kairi fried eggs in a skillet. Yuffie stroked the chocobo's crest as she watched her girlfriend focus all her energy into cooking. Kairi flipped some of the egg bits and nearly lost a bit, but caught it at the last second. Yuffie grinned. She had really found a wonderful woman.

"Morning babe," Yuffie said, wrapping her arms around Kairi's waist.

"I'm surprised you're awake this early," Kairi said.

"Hey, I wake up before noon," Yuffie said defensively.

"Only for surfing," Kairi said. "Besides, it's a bit of a moot point since it's a little after noon now."

Yuffie sighed and buried her nose into the redhead's neck. She was right, it really didn't matter when Yuffie woke up. "We had a nice party last night, didn't we?" Yuffie mumbled.

"Well sure, if you wanna discount the point when Roxas tried to strangle Riku with the main course or when Axel accidentally groped Sora and an all out brawl started, where Riku and Roxas were trying to kill Axel, then yeah, last night was stupendous," Kairi said. She pulled the skillet off the burner. "Eggs?"

"Love some," Yuffie said, pulling out two plates. Sora came stumbling out of the spare bedroom sniffing the air. Yuffie rolled her eyes as she pulled out another bowl. _'Why did he have to wake up now?'_

Sora sat down across the table from Yuffie. Kairi dished out eggs before also sitting down. They ate in relative silence. At some point Roxas woke up and helped himself to eggs before taking the final kitchen chair. The girls finished eating at roughly the same time Riku and Axel woke up. They exchanged places smoothly.

Yuffie decided to make an announcement. "Last night was not cool, guys. You do not pro-wrestle or do fight club or any of that shit in my living room. Kairi and I still wanna still have a house when you guys leave, so the next brawl gets you thrown out. Permanently. Got it?"

"Bitch," Axel grumbled.

"This is said way too often," Yuffie started, "but Axel, that's Ms. Bitch to you."

"It really would be good if you guys could get along," Kairi said. "Riku, Sora, you guys are basically my brothers, and Axel actually is my cousin. Then there's Roxas, who's one of my closest friends. Yuffie and I really just want you to get along, preferably also with our furniture."

"Sorry Kairi," Sora said. The others mumbled apologies to Kairi.

"Now you're all going to help me carry these books back to the libraries they came from," Kairi said.

There were grumblings from all the boys, but they started picking up books anyway Kairi sorted the books by library and sent them off in twos. Roxas and Sora left first since Roxas actually knew the campus. Yuffie and Axel lived in the area, they could find a library together. They caught the trolley over toward Twilight Campus. To Yuffie's dismay, they had to ride inside the trolley because there were too many books and they were simply too delicate for the roof.

'_Stupid books,'_ Yuffie thought, moving them in her lap. _'There are just too many of 'em to ride the top of the trolley.'_

"So we're going to Yunalesca Library?" Axel asked, shifting his book pile. "Why'd they name the library that? Wasn't she a warrior babe like Xena?"

"She was a mystic scholar mage woman," Yuffie said.

"Oh." Axel glanced out the window. "This is our stop; I always get out here for Roxy's dorm."

Axel confidently led the way and after a few turns they had reached Roxas' dorm. It seemed like Axel knew his way around campus. That would be a great thing, since Yuna knew more about the campus than Yuffie did.

"Excellent work, Axel," Yuffie said. "Now lead on to the library."

"Alright!"

They left the dorm at a brisk pace. They strode through the snowy streets, barely seeing anyone around. Yuffie took the time to stare at Twilight's strange architecture. As long as she didn't have to lead, they would be fine.

An hour passed. They had gone by Roxas' dorm six times and that building with the fish shaped windows four times. The stack of books in Yuffie's arms felt incredibly heavy and they hadn't had a single break. Yuffie was getting suspicious.

"Do you really know where we're going?" she asked.

"Yes," Axel said uncertainly. "We just turn this corner and… here it is."

They were in front of the trolley station where they arrived on campus. Yuffie, feeling frustrated, looked around, but couldn't find any library. There were just stores surrounding the station.

"You don't know jack," Yuffie said. "I'm taking over." She flipped open her phone and speed dialed Kairi. "Hey, Kairi?" Yuffie said when the redhead picked up.

"Where are you?" Kairi demanded, sounding frantic. "Roxas, who had to go three miles farther than you, got back twenty minutes ago."

"We are at Tierce Trolley Station. Axel led us here after taking us to Roxas' dorm six times."

"He took you to Roxas' dorm six times?"

"Yeah, and you know I don't know the campus very well."

There were some muffled noises on Kairi's end, then Roxas was on the phone. He asked for Axel, so Yuffie handed over the phone. As soon as Axel was on the phone, Roxas started screaming. The redhead had to hold the phone about a foot away from his head, but he listened to everything Roxas said. That surprised Yuffie, she had already started tuning Roxas out after the first ten seconds.

When Roxas was done yelling, he and Kairi gave them directions to the library. They were successful on their first try. The duo happily rid themselves of all their textbooks. Axel then informed the surfer that he was going home now, so they parted ways. Yuffie also went home. She had had enough excitement for one afternoon.

**xxx**

"No, I swear you're doing fine, Kairi, just relax, babe."

"I'm gonna fall!" Kairi shrieked as her feet slid in opposite directions. She collapsed onto Yuffie, who just laughed as she supported the both of them.

"Believe me, you really are getting better," Yuffie said. She started gliding back, pulling Kairi along. "You can't over think this."

"Whoever thought up this madcap idea clearly wasn't thinking. He should have just been shot."

Once you get good at ice skating," Aeris called out, "it's really fun. If I wasn't pregnant, I'd be on the ice with you two."

It had been roughly a week since Sora and Riku had arrived. Thanks to them, the girls had a nice Christmas. Today Yuffie decided that it was finally time to teach Kairi how to ice skate. The boys copped out, mentioning a trip to the mall. Yuffie knew they just didn't want to be on the ice in "the cold." Luckily, Aeris was more than willing to come and watch Kairi learn how to skate.

"Come on, it's just like roller skating and you're good at that," Yuffie said. "Just start pushing off." She demonstrated the motion.

Kairi looked proud of the fact that she was standing without falling over. "This isn't anything like regular skating. The ground has no friction and there are no brakes on these skates."

Yuffie turned sharply to the left, sending up a spray of ice crystals. She halted right in front of Kairi, which actually startled the redhead enough that Kairi fell over. "When you make a sharp turn, you angle the blades in the same direction as your force. It sends up lots of spray, but it does slow you down," Yuffie explained, helping Kairi to her feet.

"Can't we go sledding instead?" Kairi asked. "There's no falling in that."

"Scaredy cat." Yuffie spun Kairi around and grabbed her waist. "Okay, start skating like this is a roller rink. Don't worry, I'm here, and I won't let you fall."

There was a moment of silence before Kairi sighed. Yuffie grinned. She had won this battle. "Like I said before, if I break something, you're sleeping on the couch until it thaws."

"If I let you break something, I'll never forgive myself."

Kairi gave a small nod, and then started forward. Her movements were small and choppy, showing her fear of falling, but to Yuffie's delight, Kairi didn't stop. After Kairi had moved out far enough that Yuffie had move, she started seriously skating too. Yuffie's force gave Kairi a chance to feel what it was like to glide. Kairi slowly began learning how to steer as she got into skating on ice.

Yuffie let go of Kairi's sides. She stayed next to her girlfriend, but didn't touch. Kairi hadn't noticed that she was skating on her own, which made Yuffie ecstatic because the redhead usually placed limitations and now she was breaking one of them.

"Little stronger strokes," Yuffie said, hoping that would speed Kairi up a little. The college student adjusted herself accordingly. Yuffie stopped so she could just watch the redhead.

"This isn't so bad," Kairi said, turning to look at Yuffie. When she didn't see the ninja behind her though, Kairi panicked. "Yuffie?" Her newly strong strides became wobbly again.

'_Oh shit, why did she look back?'_ Yuffie thought, hurriedly skating forward. "I'll be there in a moment, Kairi!"

Unfortunately Kairi didn't have a moment. As she tried to slow down, she only sped up. Failing wildly, she hurtled across the pond. Yuffie sped up, trying desperately to close the gap between them before Kairi crashed. There was no way Yuffie was spending the rest of winter on the couch.

'_Just about—'_ Yuffie swiped for the coat in front of her. She caught a hold of a coat sleeve. _'—Yes!'_

In Yuffie's moment of triumph, she sped by Kairi. This combined with a rough patch of ice sent the girls into a dizzying spiral. Suddenly the girls weren't connected anymore. Yuffie went flying. She landed on her back in a snow bank.

Yuffie sat up, blinking. She brushed the snow out of her face. _'What happened?'_ she thought. _'I know I didn't let go.'_ As she climbed out of the snow bank Yuffie tripped and hit the iced over pond. Looking down she saw that she was tangled up in a jacket. _'Oh fuck,'_

"Kairi!" Yuffie yelled frantically.

"We're over here, Yuffie," Aeris called.

Yuffie scrambled across the pond to the snow bank Aeris was standing by. She almost fell into the hole, which Kairi was still laying in. Kairi glared up at her girlfriend. It was at that point Yuffie noticed Kairi was only wearing a t-shirt on her upper body. She hastily pulled the redhead out of the snow bank.

"Are you hurt?" Yufie asked, brushing snow off Kairi's back.

"When I can feel my arms again, I'm strangling you, Yuf," Kairi said calmly.

"That may have to wait, Kairi," Aeris said, sounding nervous.

Yuffie looked up alertly at Aeris. "What's wrong?" the surfer asked.

If Aeris sounded nervous, then she was near hysterical. Aeris had always been good at keeping her emotions in check. Sure, she could laugh and smile, but she never cried or showed fear. She was the bright and cheerful flower girl, or at worse, calm and collected. If she let any emotion creep in, it was because Aeris was very stressed and scared.

"I think my water just broke," she said. The florist then doubled over in pain.

Yuffie's jaw dropped. She gawked at the small puddle at Aeris' feet and she couldn't focus on any concise thought. There was no way Aeris could be going into labor on a frozen pond. That should be happening in a hospital with doctors and nurses, not ducks.

Kairi ripped her jacket out of Yuffie's hands. "Yuffie, go get the toboggan," she said. At Yuffie's dumb look, she added, "We have to get Aeris to a hospital, don't we? Well, considering it's rush hour and the Sunset Terrace District is made up mostly of sidewalks and canals, there's no faster way than putting Aeris on a toboggan and skating along the canals to a hospital."

Yuffie grabbed the sled and then helped Aeris down onto it. Kairi took Yuffie's jacket from the ninja and spread it over Aeris' lap, then handed Yuffie the sled's rope. Yuffie gave her a funny look.

"Since you're pulling the sled and working out, you probably won't need you're jacket, but Aeris will to keep that stuff from freezing on her legs," Kairi explained. "I'll hold onto Aeris and push from behind while giving directions."

"Kay," Yuffie said. She held onto the sled rope. "Are you certain this is the way you wanna go, Aeris?"

"It's the best plan we have," the brunette said.

Yuffie started skating. It was difficult to skate at first, as pregnant a woman Aeris was heavy, but after Kairi started skating and the sled started moving, the skating got easy. Yuffie was able to speed skate by the time they reached the canal system.

The canal had a few people skating along it. Still when the others saw Yuffie's train barreling, they got out of the way. A few more timid skaters got out of the canal entirely, but others decided to follow behind Yuffie, Aeris, and Kairi. Yuffie was just happy that she had a clear path and the ice was solid.

There weren't too many twists or turns for Yuffie to deal with. The path Kairi gave the ninja was a little longer than the quickest path, but there were very few turns, so Yuffie was able to skate at high speeds. She didn't know how long it took, but they finally arrived at the hospital in Sunset Terrence.

Kairi collapsed in a lobby chair. She simply didn't have the stamina to skate for that long of a period of time. Yuffie was luckily not tired. She helped Aeris off the toboggan and into the hands of waiting nurses. Once Aeris was admitted, Yuffie slumped into the chair next to Kairi.

"We got her here in time," Yuffie said, holding Kairi's hand.

"But we're not done yet," Kairi said. "You have to call Leon, Tifa, and Two-K. Then I have to call Sora to let him know what's up and Cloud. I'm certain there are a lot more people who will have to be told. What about Aeris' parents or Leon's parents?"

"I'm on it. You can keep resting." Yuffie got up and found the pay phones. She quickly dialed Leon's cell phone, but he didn't answer. So she called Tifa and told her the news. Tifa promised to come as soon as she had called Aeris' mother. Yuffie called Leon again, and this time he answered.

"I'm not helping you get out of those handcuffs again," Leon said as soon as he knew it was Yuffie.

"I'm not in handcuffs," Yuffie said indignantly. "Not it's Aeris—"

"What's wrong?" Leon asked, "is she hurt?"

"Her water broke. We got her admitted to Sunset Terrace Hospital."

Leon hung up without saying anything else. Yuffie snorted. First time fathers were too panicky. With Kairi's help, Yuffie went on to call Rikku, Sora, Cloud, and Demyx. They all promised to show up as soon as they could.

Yuffie and Kairi were then allowed to visit Aeris. When they came in, a nurse was checking Aeris' vitals. When the nurse noticed the girls, she smiled and finished her work. She left, shutting the door.

"How are you doing?" Kairi asked.

"Good," Aeris said. "My OB-Gyn should be here soon."

"We called Leon and the others," Yuffie said. "They're on their way."

"Thank you."

"Can we get you anything?" Kairi asked.

Aeris shook her head. "If you guys could just stay with me that would be nice."

Kairi sat down next to Aeris on her right. Yuffie sat next to Kairi. Yuffie told stories for roughly half an hour until she heard Leon yelling in the hallway. She excused herself to go and grab Leon.

Leon stood at the end of the hallway in his full leather regalia. He was being held back by two orderlies as he took part in a screaming match with a nurse. Yuffie shook her head. Even she knew better than to fight with hospital staff. They had access to tranquillizer darts.

"Hey there," Yuffie said. She tapped an orderly's grip on Leon's arm. "Ms. Nurse?" The nurse turned to Yuffie. "This idiot here—" Yuffie poked Leon in the chest. "—is about to become a dad and his already crappy social skills just disappeared cause he's freaking out over his wife. Can I take him to her?"

"You may," the nurse said after thinking a moment. She turned to Leon. "If I get one more outburst from you, you are out of this hospital. Understood?"

Leon nodded and quickly followed Yuffie back to Aeris' room. The expecting mother looked relieved when she saw Leon. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her several times before releasing her. Leon asked several times how she was before Aeris finally managed to convince him to just sit down and hold her hand.

Shortly thereafter Rikku and Zell showed up carrying a video camera. They brought it to film the birth of Aeris and Leon's child. Zell figured that it made sense for him to film it, as he was a professional camera man.

The next person to arrive for the Gainsborough-Leonhart birth was a short stout woman in her early forties wearing a lab coat. "You're looking well, Aeris," she said.

"Hello, Dr. Kadowaki," Aeris said. "I'll be glad when I'm out of labor."

"Let's take a look to see how far along you are," the doctor said, pulling on a pair of gloves. She leaned down and took a look to see how far Aeris' cervix was dilated. "You are roughly eight centimeters dilated now. We still have a while to wait."

'_How big does it have to be?'_ Yuffie wondered.

Reading Yuffie's mind, Kairi whispered to Yuffie, "The birth canal has to be ten centimeters so that the baby's head and shoulders can fit through."

Zell quickly put the camera together and set things up to film. "So what do we do now? Should I start filming?"

"May as well start," Aeris said. "For now though, all we can do is wait."

They talked and told a few more stories. Dr. Kadowaki left to check on some of her other patients. Zexion and Demyx then showed up, the later bearing baby gifts. They sat down out of the way on the windowsill.

Aeris took medication for the labor pains right before her mother called. Her mother was more than just apologetic about not being able to arrive at the hospital before morning. Aeris spent ten minutes calming down her mother before hanging up. This conversation made Leon realize he had never told his own parents that he was going to be a father.

While Leon called his own parents to tell them the good news, Cloud showed up looking harried. He strode over to Aeris and gave her a hug and apologized for being late. Yuffie asked what the holdup was.

"I was in the middle of a will reading and couldn't answer the phone," Cloud said. He awkwardly handed Leon a patchwork blanket covered with Wizard of Oz characters. Leon accepted the blanket with the same amount of grace that Cloud used to give it. "This was Link's idea. He wanted to be here, but he is stuck helping a horse give birth right now. Ironic really."

Dr. Kadowaki came back to check on Aeris' progress. She was apparently ready to give birth, so the doctor ordered all nonessential people out of the room. Zexion and Demyx left for he waiting room and Rikku quickly followed. Kairi and Yuffie would have left, but Aeris asked them to stay, since Tifa hadn't arrived yet.

"Okay Aeris, I want you to take a deep breath and push," the doctor said. The birthing had begun.

Three hours later Yuffie was sitting out with the others in the waiting room of the floor Aeris was on. When that hairy bloody scalp appeared Yuffie lost it. She vomited in the bathroom before heading out to the waiting room. Yuffie needed to get away from the emotional intensity of that room for a few minutes. She wished Kairi could be with her; but the redhead was acting as emotional support for Aeris, since Tifa still hadn't shown up.

'_Speak of the devil,'_ Yuffie thought as Tifa and a strange blonde man came rushing into the room.

Tifa and the man were both panting and nearly doubled over. She was wearing a short black dress and matching high heels. The man was in a maroon silk shirt, dress pants, and a pair of good shoes.

"Were you on a date?" Yuffie asked, vaguely shocked.

"Yes, in Traverse Town. Then our car broke down on the way here," panted Tifa. "Where is she?"

Yuffie led the way back to Aeris' room. The baby had made only a little more progress getting born since Yuffie had left earlier.

"Tifa!" Aeris cried.

"Aeris!" Tifa shouted back, rushing to her best friend's side. The bartender nearly flattened Leon on her way to Aeris' side. "I am, so sorry I'm late, I would have never gone on that date if I had realized you'd be giving birth today."

"It's okay, you're here now."

"I hate to break up the love fest, ladies," Dr. Kadowaki said dryly, "but we have a baby to deliver. Now push!"

Aeris struggled to contract all the right muscles. Slowly, painfully the child's entire head came out of the birth canal. The shoulders appeared, but seemed almost stuck on the last ring of tissue. Dr. Kadowaki carefully pried the vaginal walls apart just barely far enough for the shoulders to slip through. Then the baby practically slid into the doctors waiting hands. A moment later the placenta followed.

Dr. Kadowaki slapped the baby on the back, which caused the child to start wailing. It was the only way for the baby to start breathing properly. The OB-Gyn then handed the baby to a nurse, who washed the child off before giving it over to its exhausted mother.

"It's a boy," Dr. Kadowaki announced.

Yuffie wanted to vomit again. That was by far the most disgusting thing she had ever seen. There was no way in hell she was ever attending another birth, not even if it was her own.

Leon and Tifa exchanged places so that the new parents could be with their baby boy. Tifa's date ran to get the others. Zell continued filming and got a close up of the new addition to the Leonhart-Gainsborough family. Kairi came over to Yuffie and gave her a hug while resting her head on the ninja's shoulder.

"Are you going to be sick again?" Kairi asked. Yuffie shook her head. "Good, because we still have to congratulate Aeris and Leon on the birth of their son."

Tifa's date came back with the others. Everyone oohed and aahed over the baby for a few minutes. Leon even had a smile on his face. Yuffie practically strangled Zell in her rush to get him to catch the smile before it disappeared. Leon actually looking happy was extremely rare.

A nurse came in to give the baby a few initial tests. The baby started crying again. This made Zexion and Demyx go home, mainly because Zexion wasn't comfortable around babies. Zell caught a few more shots before he and Rikku left, promising to make lots of copies of the film.

"Who are you?" Leon said to Tifa's date.

"Basch fon Ralsthead," Basch said. "I'm Ms. Lockheart's escort."

"I'm so sorry about our first date," Tifa apologized. She looked like she was about to cry. "I always manage to screw these things up."

Basch produced a handkerchief and handed it to Tifa. "This was certainly an unusual first date," he said. "May I call you for a slightly more traditional second date?"

"Of course."

"Then I think I will take my leave." He turned to Aeris. "Congratulations on the birth of your son." Basch nodded to Leon and left.

Cloud kissed Aeris on the cheek. "I have to go," he said. "Link will want to know what happened and no one wants him rushing in here covered in horse fluid. We will both visit tomorrow."

"Love you," Aeris said.

Cloud gave her a salute. He shook Leon's hand strongly, hugged Tifa, nodded to Kairi and Yuffie, then left.

"Yuffie," Leon said, sounding broken up. "I wanted to thank you for getting Aeris here quickly and safely. If you hadn't taken her ice skating, she probably would have been alone on a walk. Thank you."

"It's no big deal, Leon," Yuffie said, grinning. "Aeris is our friend too ya know." She wrapped an arm around Kairi's shoulders. "Besides, this is the woman who did all the thinking."

The nurse came back and handed the baby to Leon. He sat down next to Aeris, holding the baby as gently as possible. Leon stared into the child's face silently for a minute as if memorizing every detail possible.

"Yuffie," Leon said quietly. "I want you to be this child's godmother."

"Me?" Yuffie squawked.

"You're rash, impulsive, childish, and an idiot, but you come through when needed. There is no doubt in my mind you would support our son when needed."

"We also want Tifa to be a godmother," Aeris added.

"I accept," Tifa said.

"I—" Yuffie stared at Kairi, who smiled back broadly. "Hell yeah I accept!"

A small black cat doll, modeled after the Cat Sith cartoon character, popped into the room. This was shortly followed by Sora and Riku. They shuffled in and stood hesitantly by Kairi and Yuffie.

"Kairi told us you were giving birth," Sora said sheepishly. "So we thought we'd stop by." He gave the baby the doll. "What did you name him?"

"Reeve," Aeris said. "Reeve Tuesti Leonhart."

"Good name," Yuffie said, before the four said their goodbyes. They left the hospital to celebrate little baby Reeve's birth and the New Year. It was already dark out as they walked on the sidewalk under the streetlight's glow.

'_It's a shame,'_ Yuffie though, hugging Kairi as they walked. _'Aeris and Leon have to cancel tonight's New Year's Party. Wouldn't be any fun without the hosts. Oh well, there are a lot more important things in life…'_ She glanced up at Kairi, who had run ahead to tackle Riku. _'…like family.'_

* * *

And there ends chapter 14. I hope you all had fun and enjoyed this chapter. Please review, they mean a lot to me and they really aren't that difficult or time consuming to write. You don't have to say much, just your first reaction (although I love in depth responses). I'm not really certain what's happening next in Ordinary Adventures. I used up most of the long term ideas that have been rattling around in my head. Still, I'll see all of you dear readers later. Bye!


	15. Jousting with Needles

MC: Hello again everyone! It didn't even take three months for me to return with another chapter this time… just two months and twenty-nine days. Still, one of those months was February, so I figure I'm good. The absolute earliest you'll hear from me again is in June, I've got three AP tests starting tomorrow, at least one final, a couple birthdays, 22 books to read, and a graduation this month. I'm a little busy. Still, I come bearing a nice chapter, so go and read!

DISCLAIMER: All Kingdom Hearts characters and Final Fantasy characters belong to Square Enix. All Disney characters belong to Disney. No one involved in the writing of this chapter is a licensed acupuncturist, so not all information may be correct. Do not act off of the information suggested in this chapter because it has not been checked by a medical practitioner. Please don't sue, there is little money to be made off of this author

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 15: Jousting with Needles**

'Hmm… if I switch to Thursday morning that opens Tuesday morning and that pushes Thursday morning's class to Monday afternoon. Where do I move that Tuesday class to get out of the morning?' Kairi wondered, drawing on a copy of her class schedule.

A roar came from the TV and popcorn hit Kairi in the back of her head. The college student turned around to see what was going on behind her. Popcorn was everywhere, all over the couch and floor, with even a few pieces clinging to the screen by static electricity. Yuffie was dancing in place, tossing gummi bears into the air. She caught roughly half of them.

That recently familiar throb started in Kairi's head again. Rubbing her temples she demanded, "What exactly is so important that you're leaping like a loony, my dear?"

"Tokyo finally took the lead," Yuffie said happily. "Score's 3 to 2 now!"

"You do remember Tokyo U is playing against my school, right?" Kairi asked. She wasn't particularly annoyed with Yuffie's enthusiasm, but the blaring TV and the lights were really awful.

"Right. But still, Kai, you've gotta come over and check out the game." Yuffie dragged Kairi over to the couch and started avidly explaining what had happened so far.

The only three-foot difference seemed to increase the noise exponentially. It felt like Kairi's head was being split apart by chisels. She stood up unsteadily and stumbled away. After walking into a wall once—all the lights were too bright to have her eyes open—Kairi made it under the covers.

"Kairi are you okay?" Yuffie asked from the bedroom doorway.

"My head… it-it hurts."

A few centuries later by Kairi's reckoning, Yuffie was next to her with a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers. Kairi was ready to down the entire bottle, but Yuffie only gave her four pills.

"I probably shouldn't even be giving you this much, but if you're even in a third of the pain you look like you're in I figure this is okay. Besides, this isn't that much over the advised dose."

Kairi swallowed the water and pills, wishing that they could take effect immediately. She curled back up into a ball under the covers. This was the worst headache she had ever experienced, There had been several bad ones within the last month, but this was crazy. Kairi couldn't do anything but curl up in pain.

Yuffie climbed into bed next to Kairi and began rubbing her neck and back. She just stayed by her lover's side, trying to take Kairi's mind off the pain she was experiencing. They stayed like that for the rest of the afternoon.

That evening after Kairi was feeling a little better, Yuffie inquired about the headache. Kairi explained that this monstrous headache was the third one she had this month. She didn't know what set them off, but they were incredibly painful and made it so she couldn't stand light or sound when she was having one. The doctor she had visited after the first one couldn't really give her any help beyond prescribing pain meds that made her so dizzy she couldn't walk.

"I'm taking you to a friend's tomorrow to see if she can help with the headaches," Yuffie said.

"I don't know if your friend can help me," Kairi said slowly. She had visions of Rikku forcing her to drink salt water while standing on her head.

"Oh come on, my friend knows what she's supposed to do. I promise that'll help."

"I hope you're right," Kairi muttered to herself as she agreed to Yuffie's help.

**xxx**

"This is a tattoo shop," Kairi said bluntly.

"Yeah," Yuffie said, pushing her girlfriend into the shop. "This is where my friend works."

"So what, a tattoo is supposed to fix my headaches?"

"Ah Yuffie, so nice to see you again. Who is your friend?" called out a woman.

She was a beautiful Asian woman who was probably a few years older than Yuffie. Her long lustrous black hair was pulled into a complex bun held in place by chopsticks that had baubles dangling from them. She had smooth ivory skin only blemished by the large single mole on her left check. When the woman came to greet them, Kairi noticed that her dress seemed to be made entirely of belts.

She was absolutely stunning.

"This is my friend, Lulu," Yuffie explained to Kairi. "I think we might be related."

"We are," Lulu said.

"Anyway, she's pretty cool. Besides being an amazing and incredibly tattoo artist, she's an acupuncturist."

"An acupuncturist?" Kairi repeated, giving Yuffie a look.

"It's traditional medicine that works," Yuffie said defensively. "There have been studies and everything to prove it."

"Yuffie is right. There have been many studies showing that acupuncture opens charkas and allows natural flow to return to the body," Lulu explained. "You may not believe it, but it works, Ms…"

"Kairi Hart."

"So you're the Kairi. I thought you might be when Yuffie brought you in."

Kairi turned to Yuffie again and gave her another look. "The Kairi?"

Yuffie grinned and shrugged. "I brag about you a lot."

"What have you been saying about me?"

"She's said that you value the truth, that you base most of your decisions on facts and evidence, weighing the costs and benefits instead of your feeling at the moment. You don't leave much room for flights of fancy, but you still have an imagination."

"Oh," Kairi said, feeling a little embarrassed. She really needed to give Yuffie more credit.

"Yuffie just scheduled an appointment for you," Lulu continued. "She didn't say it was about or even what service I'm supposed to provide."

"I've been having terrible headaches for a month."

"Acupuncture it is. Yuffie, come back in an hour."

"Kay." Yuffie saluted Lulu, kissed Kairi, and strolled out of the shop.

Kairi glanced nervously at Lulu. She didn't normally feel nervous around strangers, but she couldn't get over the fact that she was now trusting alternative medicine. Lulu led the redhead into a backroom away from all the tattooing equipment and designs. Kairi sat down on a long table covered with paper. Lulu sat down on a stool and pulled on a pair of latex gloves.

"This won't work if you refuse to believe in it," Lulu said.

"Like you said, I tend not to believe in things without proof."

"Yuffie believes in acupuncture."

"Yuffie also believes in fairies, ghosts, and that our government is run by alien bunnies that shoot lasers from their ears."

"That's true, but acupuncture is very real. I received my acupuncturist license in Jahara while working with Grand Geomancer Yugelu. I have also studied under the Dragon Emperor's personal physician. Even now I attend yearly medicine seminars where I explain acupuncture and have more information about it added to my body of knowledge."

"Okay," Kairi said slowly. She took several deep breaths trying to relax. Lulu even pointed out her medical licenses, which proved she knew what she was doing.

"I need to check your charkas."

"My charkas?" She had heard of charkas when they were occasionally mentioned in conversation before, but it had never been explained what exactly they did or even what they are.

"Those are points where large wells of energy reside. There are seven of them that control the various aspects of the human body. If they are blocked or harmed, the body has serious problems."

"I guess that makes sense." If Kairi was going to accept the existence of charkas, she may as well accept that they could have problems. All parts of the body broke down, so why not charkas?

Lulu fixed her gaze on Kairi. She looked almost like she was trying to see through the redhead. Feeling uncomfortable, she did her best not to fidget. After a minute Lulu walked up to Kairi to inspect her more closely. Since she found the gaze startling, Kairi shut her eyes. She didn't really know what her acupuncturist was doing, but this seemed to be the way one's charka health was checked.

"If you were a decade older," Lulu started, "I would be prescribing heart medication and aggressive measures against infarctions. You have a lot of blockage in your charka system. A couple of them are almost completely blocked, which is a dangerous predicament."

"What?" Kairi asked, startled.

"Your Crown and Base need to be opened and all of them need to be cleaned out. The best and quickest way to clean out your system, is acupuncture. There will, of course, be energy remaining in your system, but all those bad blocks are going to be pulled out."

"And how do needles fix blockage?"

"Do I need to… remove anything?" Kairi asked.

Lulu started to shake her head, but then said, "Your socks and shoes please. Then lie down."

Kairi did as she was asked. She noted as she lay down that the table was cool and she was pleasantly surprised to find that the small pillow was surprisingly soft.

"And how do needles fix blockage?"

"I'm going to put needles in your hands and feet to restore your balance of Qi and Que, which would destroy your energy blockage. The places I put the needles are key points in your energy channels and when acupuncture is practiced correctly, your problems are fixed. Now please don't move."

"Do you have to put any on my face?" Kairi asked nervously, shutting her eyes. It was surprising how easily she had accepted a woman sticking needles into her body.

"Not for your treatment," Lulu said. "We are dealing with stress, not self actualization. If you do want help with self actualization, we should save that for another visit."

Kairi shivered when Lulu picked up her hand. There were several points of pressure on the hand, a couple of cold pricks and then the patient felt nothing. Either Lulu was as good as she claimed to be or else Kairi's nerves had just died. She could feel the several needles in her arm and hand and that was one of the oddest experiences she had ever encountered.

Lulu went on to insert needles in her other appendages. As the woman continued her work she explained the properties of what she was doing. The process itself was strangely relaxing. Kairi felt herself slowly unwinding and the pressure in her shoulders abated.

'_This is really nice, but the next time I want to relax, I'm getting a massage,'_ Kairi thought ruefully.

By the time Lulu finished Kairi felt like an uncooked noodle. Either that or a dissected worm pinned to a tray. Whatever the case, she didn't want to move.

Lulu had moved away from Kairi. She had no idea where the other woman was, making Kairi feel completely alone, but still really good. She could smell smoky heather now that she was certain wasn't there before. The smell didn't do much for Kairi, but it was also soothing in a way she couldn't describe.

Kairi had no idea how long she lay on the table, but eventually she heard Lulu again. The acupuncturist said she was "calling" Kairi back before she picked up the redhead's foot and removed the pins. She continued to remove pins in the inverse order from which she had pushed them into Kairi's body. Then, after all the pins were removed, Lulu helped Kairi sit up.

"How are you feeling?" Lulu asked.

"Surprisingly good," Kairi said, "and incredibly peaceful."

"That's acupuncture for you."

Kairi got up from the table and stretched. She felt lighter than normal and incredibly relaxed. As she pulled on her shoes though, life's little hassles crept back to the forefront of Kairi's cerebellum. She had to make her lab report and work on memorizing her new English verbs. Olette's birthday was coming up and Kairi owed her something amazing after what she had done for Kairi's birthday. Yuffie had a dentist's appointment, but Kairi still hadn't figured out how to trick her into going yet.

'_And I need a haircut,'_ Kairi thought, brushing red locks out of her eyes. _'Should I do it myself or get it professionally done?'_

"I think I am starting to see the actual problem," Lulu said. "What are you thinking about right now? At this exact moment."

"Homework, Yuffie's dentist appointment—" Kairi started to tick off her schedule on her fingers.

"Enough," Lulu interrupted. "You must calm down and let go of this stress. All of it. You carry too much stress all the time so that everything compounds and you start having problems. Take a personal day and skip the worries. Also, take up yoga, if nothing else, that can make your muscles relax."

Kairi accepted a card from Lulu and then left the backroom. She saw Yuffie quietly flipping through a tattoo design book. When the surfer saw her Yuffie dropped the book on the counter and sidled over to the redhead.

"How'd it go?" Yuffie asked, leading Kairi out of Lulu's shop.

"Don't we have to pay?" Kairi asked.

"Already did it," Yuffie said nonchalantly. "And even if I hadn't, Lulu knows where I live. So…?"

"I have unhealthy levels of stress that could cause a charka heart attack."

"Seriously?"

"Well not exactly, but I should take up yoga to relax. Most importantly, I need to relieve stress my life."

"What stress? I mean, I believe you and everything… but I'm not really certain what stress you have."

"Oh, you know, I'm trying to get through a lot of school so I'm overloaded with classes, I've got to keep track of our bills and finances, there are a bunch of social obligations, a bunch of stuff," Kairi said. She refrained from adding, _'Plus you're gone most of the time, so life completely flips when you're around. It's nice having you around, but life is so ill regular, but I wish there was more of a pattern.'_

"I've got to loosen you up again," Yuffie laughed, giving Kairi a half hug.

"I'm scared already," Kairi said.

"Don't be, I'll make it a blast!"

**xxx**

"I've got us tickets!"

Kairi carefully stuck her bookmark in place before looking up at her girlfriend. Yuffie was excitedly waving two tickets. Feeling that she wouldn't be spending the rest of the weekend reading, Kairi slowly sat up before fixing her gaze on the ninja.

"We're going to the fair!"

"The fair?"

"The midevily fair, you know, the one with the fighting and the swishing and the horses," Yuffie explained, swinging the tickets like they were a broadsword.

"Renaissance Fair?"

"That's the one!"

'_Doesn't that occur in May… at the earliest?'_ Kairi thought, sighing. "When are we leaving?"

"Soon as we get you dressed."

It was only then Kairi noticed Yuffie was in a light green kimono. She should have noticed sooner, the sleeves billowed out with every motion Yuffie made. Kairi smiled at her girlfriend; it was a treat to see Yuffie in a dress.

"Am I wearing one of those too?"

"Naw, I thought you could wear that purple dress with the sleeves and the bodice."

"A bodice? Do I have any dresses with bodices?"

"Yeah, you do, because it's got that sash around the waist that accents the separation between the top and bottom of the dress on several of your dresses. I think bodices look pretty on you, especially with the V-neck cut in," she finished.

"I did not know the exact definition of bodice," Kairi said. "Good to know."

"Come on, Kairi," Yuffie said, pulling Kairi by the arms off the couch. "If we're both in costume we get free stuff and get to interact with the midevily acting people." She hustled the redhead into the bedroom.

"You do mean medieval, right?"

"…Yeah."

Kairi pulled the purple dress Yuffie had mentioned out of their closet. Glancing over her shoulder she noticed Yuffie sitting on the bed staring at her. The ninja was fiddling with one of Yuna's shed feathers, but her gaze was firmly fixed on Kairi.

"Are you gonna just sit there and watch me?" Kairi asked.

"I was thinking about it."

"Out!" Kairi bellowed, throwing the surfer out of the bedroom. She didn't mind changing in front of Yuffie, it was just it seemed a bit sleazy to change while Yuffie was staring. Besides, if she actually did that then they'd never get out if the house.

They left only after Kairi had dished out dinner for Yuna and set down fresh water. Considering the fact the last time they had gone out for an afternoon they ended up being gone for a day and a half it seemed prudent.

Kairi and Yuffie took a trolley downtown before getting on a unicorn-print bus. It was the 'Official Renaissance Bus' and it took them to the fair grounds. Clearly they weren't the only fair goers without motorized vehicles.

As they entered the fairgrounds Kairi was hit with a lack of reality. Everyone was wearing colorful clothing that looked completely unpractical as they walked around. No one seemed to be collecting tickets or even paying attention to the newcomers. The scene felt chaotic and disorganized to Kairi, especially since there were chickens milling about in the crowd.

A juggler nearby just breathed fire, startling Kairi. Sensing her discomfort, Yuffie said, "Just relax, Kairi. This is a little weird at first, but I swear these things are great. You'll love the jewelry and the scarves."

"What kind of jewelry and scarves?"

"Let's go find some so I don't have to give specific details!" Yuffie grabbed Kairi's hand and pulled her through the crowd.

To the redhead's surprise, Yuffie didn't rush them through the crowd to find the jewelry or scarves. They ambled along through all the people, but feeling delightfully separate from everyone else. Yuffie quietly explained what the black smith was doing as they watched him forge something, it looked like a horseshoe. They moved on to watch a cooper make a barrel and then a woman churn butter. The butter churning wasn't that exciting.

They kept moving from stall to stall. There seemed to be hundreds of merchants and artisans trying to sell their wares. Most of the sundries were cheap trinkets or food, but there were also weapons and clothing for sale. They brought pork buns from one vender and apples from another for lunch.

Shortly after they finished eating Kairi found the scarf merchant. She admired the craftsmanship and detail in the scarves, but couldn't see herself ever needing one. Yuffie seemed to love them though. She kept stroking the material with the tips of her fingers and oohing and aahing over the designs. Every now and then the surfer would pluck out a scarf and arrange it on Kairi. Privately Kairi felt none of the scarves Yuffie chose matched her complexion, but they all seemed to look good with Yuffie.

'_I got it, you want one,' _Kairi thought, smiling as Yuffie juggled the scarves to the merchant's horror. _'I don't know which one you really want, but I'll figure it out.'_

"They're such pretty colors," Kairi said. "Which one is your favorite?"

"The blue ones are really pretty," Yuffie said. "But then the green, yellow, and purple ones are also beautiful."

'_She's trying to figure out which one I want,'_ Kairi realized, smirking. She turned to the merchant. "What do you think?"

"Pray thee fair lady, I would have to say that the purple suits thee best," the vender said, smiling. She then added, "You have excellent taste."

"Yuffie?" Kairi said, getting her girlfriend's attention. "Can you go and get some strawberries? I saw a man selling some really nice ones a little while ago."

"Sure thing, Kairi," Yuffie grinned, giving a small salute before bounding off into the crowd.

"Now before she gets back, do you have any oriental scarves?" Kairi asked. "Preferably blue with tigers on it."

**xxx**

Kairi clapped excitedly as the bard finished singing. As the bard, an older gentlemen named Galuf, finished the ballad and stowed his lyre, Kairi sighed. She turned and snuck a glance at Yuffie; the ninja had lost interest now that the song was over. She was fiddling with a piece of grass she had picked up.

The crowd around the bard had dispersed enough that Kairi figured they could move on. She stood up and then helped Yuffie off the wooden bench they had been sitting on.

"So what should we do next?" Kairi asked.

"Maybe we could—" Yuffie began, but was cut off when a pair of hands wrapped around her waist, hoisted her up into the air and rode off with her. It was sudden, neither girl had any time to react. One moment Yuffie was standing there thinking, the next she was gone, riding on the back of a horse.

It wasn't until Yuffie was out of sight that Kairi was able to process what had happened. An armored horseman had just kidnapped her girlfriend. Kairi stared following the route the horseman took. Sadly, she wasn't anywhere near as fast as a running horse, so she quickly lost track of them. Luckily she just needed to ask any passerby to find out which way the 'girl in a kimono on the back of a horse' went.

Eventually Kairi arrived at the jousting grounds. The stands were full of people chattering among themselves. One armored man—a knight?—was sitting a top a horse at one end of the field, seemingly waiting for something to start. There was tension in the air; even Kairi could feel it and she had just arrived.

Kairi scanned the crowd, looking for Yuffie, hoping she hadn't been taken somewhere else. Nothing popped out at her until she reached the royal box. There she saw the shimmering green of Yuffie's kimono.

Kairi jogged around the edge of the field toward the royal box. Yuffie sulked in a chair near the edge of the box. There was an armed guard standing next to her. She had a feeling the guard wasn't there to protect her girlfriend.

The ninja perked up when she saw Kairi. Surging to the front of the stands, Yuffie leaned over the railing. "Kairi," she hissed, "you gotta get me outta here."

"What's going on?"

"Apparently those tickets I got put us in the weekend's storyline. I've become the prize, the prize! You've gotta win, Kairi, there's no way I want anything to do with these yahoos."

"I'll see what I can do, Yuffie," Kairi said dubiously. _'There's no way I can win. I've never been on a horse before.'_

Yuffie blew her a kiss before Kairi walked away. As Kairi continued to walk away she tried to think about how she could save Yuffie. Technically there wouldn't be any punishment if Kairi couldn't do anything, it was only a Renaissance fair, but Yuffie had gotten into the event and would be annoyed if Kairi didn't try her best.

A horseman trotted by toward the other knight. A cheer rose from the crowd and the king gave a signal. The knights charged each other. There was a sickening crunch as the men collided and then the knight that passed Kairi flew off his horse. He landed in the mud, climbing out with a squelch before drawing his sword. The other man climbed off his horse and continued the battle in hand to hand combat.

'_I can't do that,'_ Kairi thought. _'I'll break my neck soaring off the horse, I'm maybe half the weight as the men and I have no horse—I can't joust! I don't even have my sword with so I can't fight. I wish I hadn't worn this dress.'_

Kairi's train of thought broke off when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see a big man in a suit of armor. There were large goat horns on the helmet. The redhead felt nervous.

"How may I help you?" she asked.

"Lady Kairi?" the tin can asked.

'_How does he know who I am?'_ Kairi wondered, giving a slight nod.

The man removed his helmet. This revealed a hardened face with a scar between the eyes. He had blonde hair, long hair, long for a man, pulled back from his face. He had probably shared that morning, but it looked like he needed to again. At first Kairi didn't recognize him.

"Basch fon Ronsenburg," she said at last.

He smiled giving her a nod. "It is a delight to see you again, my lady?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I am a Judge, a general ranked knight, in direct service to the king himself."

"How long have you been a judge? Or rather, how long have you been a part of the Renaissance fair?"

"I have been a part of this world for almost a dozen years."

"Does Tifa know?"

"Not yet," Basch said, smiling, "but I hope to bring my lady love to the fair for an event or two before the season wanes."

Kairi nodded, a plan slowly forming in her head as she looked at Basch. "Do you have a horse?"

"A fine one."

"Do you joust?"

"I would not be a knight if I could not."

"Would you win the tournament so I could get my girlfriend back?"

Basch blinked at her. "Would it not be better if you won your lady back personally?"

"The only horse I have been on was the wooden rocking horse my grandfather gave me when I was three."

Basch shut his eyes, probably as a reaction to Kairi's lack of horsemanship. "I see. Well, then I will certainly honor your request. I could never turn down a lady's request."

"Thank you, Basch," Kairi said happily, giving him a hug.

"May I have a token of your affections then?"

'_Excuse me?'_ Kairi thought, giving the Judge a look.

"A handkerchief is the one most commonly given. The token shows that the knight is fighting in the name of a lady."

"Oh," Kairi said, feeling more relieved. She pulled out her earlier purchase. "Technically this is suppose to be for Yuffie, but since you are fighting for her, I figure this is okay."

She unwrapped the scarf slowly. The blue scarf suddenly revealed that it had several Siberian tigers stitched into it on both ends of the accessory. They were sleek and powerful looking. All around a beautiful scarf.

Basch carefully accepted the scarf. He wrapped it around his neck, making certain that none of it was sticking outside of his armor. Then he gave her a salute and pulled on his helmet again. He looked very ominous again.

"By my honor I will win this tournament in thou name, my lady," Basch swore, thumping his metal breastplate. His voice was deeper and more rumbling in the helmet.

As Basch clanked away, Kairi allowed herself to smile. She wasn't going to have to joust. She could even probably hang out with Yuffie then. She skipped back toward the tournament.

When she returned to the royal box's perimeter, Yuffie excitedly greeted her. After the redhead explained what had happened, Yuffie sat back in silence. Kairi was worried that she had upset her girlfriend.

"You think he's any good?" Yuffie asked.

"Well, he said he's a judge, so I guess he must be."

"I'm sorry you can't sit up here with me. I'd come down and sit with you, but these asses—" Yuffie jerked her thumb at her guards. "—won't let me do anything."

"It's fine, I'll just sit here in front of the box. I'm out of bounds, so I shouldn't be hit by anything or anyone."

The next set of knights came up to do battle. They charged each other and the knights knocked their opponents off their horses. Once they were both standing, they started hacking and slashing at each other with swords. Eventually one man fell, causing the other to be declared the winner. The horses were rounded up and the loser dragged off the field.

This pattern continued for another ten or fifteen sets of knights before Basch appeared. Kairi could recognize him by the distinctive helmet. He rode out on a great black charger. The match between Basch and the other knight was no contest. The other knight didn't even touch his lance to Basch's shield before he was thrown off his horse.

Basch appeared in a surprisingly large number of matches. The odd thing Kairi noticed was that he rode two different horses. Sometimes he was on a black charger that Kairi had seen first, but other times he rode a smaller brown horse. At least he was winning all of his fights.

Eventually the number of jousting knights dwindled down to a select few. Basch appeared in every match, still constantly winning. Then, suddenly it was announced that they were on the final match. Kairi perked up. She found the jousting distasteful and boring, so she had started to tune it out, but now she was excited that the matches would finally be over.

'_So Basch will be facing…'_ Kairi thought, waiting for the second knight to appear. _'…Basch?'_

Kairi's confusion was valid. The challenger was Basch on the black charger, yet Basch of the brown horse was already in position to joust. Kairi examined the two knights, noting that they had the same armor, the same crest on their shield, and while Kairi was no expert, they appeared to have the same fighting style. The only difference between the men were their horses.

The Basches charged each other. They smashed into each other's shields with a resounding crack as their lances shattered. Both men seemed to think nothing of their split lances and patiently waited as the attendants rearmed them. They attacked each other again, yielding similar results. The Judges were evenly matched.

The crowd by this point was ecstatic. They wanted the men on the ground. They wanted a duel with broadswords. They wanted blood. Kairi stared at her fellow fair goers. One wrong move and she and Yuffie would be in the middle of a riot.

Kairi glanced up at her girlfriend. Yuffie was chanting along with the rest of the crowd. _'She'll be leading the riot,'_ Kairi silently corrected.

The third run was about to begin. If neither man could be knocked off, there would be fighting on the ground, probably until someone was maimed. Kairi didn't want to be the cause of Basch's death; Tifa had enough problems finding good men as it was, she didn't need her friends killing them off too.

The signal was given. The horses thudded down the well-beaten path. Lances raised for attack, their metal tips gleaming in the sunlight. Pole and shield connected. The black charger Basch's tip slid off his mark, but the brown horse Basch's am was true. The black charger Basch lost his shield, thereby giving up ground and losing the match.

Kairi breathed a sigh of relief.

The black charger Basch wasn't down for the count though. As he passed by the brown horse Basch, he interlocked his arm with the still crooked shield arm of the other Basch. The knights were held in place. The horses however, were not bound by any restrictions. They continued their canters, unseating both men at the same time. They hit the ground with a defining rattle.

That was what the black charger Basch wanted. Neither man had won. The Judges would duel on the ground.

Both Basches drew their swords. There was a loud clang as the swords struck each other. They withdrew and tried to attack from the sides, mirroring each others' moves. Attack and parry. Attack and parry. The Basches circled each other, looking for the other's weak point. It was like watching a man and his doppelganger, except Kairi couldn't tell which was the original.

One Basch threw an uppercut as if to cleave the other's ribcage in two. The second Basch leapt back as he swung his own broadsword down on his opponent's head. Both hits collided with their helmets.

The Basch who received the upper cut leapt away from the fight. The other Basch followed eagerly, only to have the front of his armored face smashed with the flat of a blade. Both men's helmets were crumbling.

The upper cut Basch removed his helmet and shook his head. It was Basch. Suddenly Basch threw his helmet at the other man's head and nimbly sidestepped the other Judge's charge. The other man's helmet couldn't take any more abuse; a large hunk fell off it. He peeled off the rest of the helmet.

Another Basch appeared. _'Am I in a soap opera with an evil twin now?'_ Kairi thought, feeling annoyed. She couldn't tell them apart from this distance.

The Basches faced each other again in silence. Even the crowd seemed surprised by this development. Twin Basches didn't seem to be that normal of an occurrence. Kairi didn't know if that was a good thing.

"Gabranth!" shouted one of the Basches. "Give up now and amend your evil ways!"

"And what would be the fun in that?" the other Basch, Gabranth, asked. "Dear Brother?"

A murmur rolled through the crowd. Kairi knew nothing about the fair's politics, but it seemed the fact Basch and Garanth were brothers was a shock. Kairi shook her head. Anyone who saw their faces should have been able to tell they were related.

"It would save me from having to slay you!" Basch continued, "and save you from a death in agony! Be gone foul naïve!"

Gabranth lifted his sword again and restarted the battle. Kairi watched for a couple moments as the blade whizzed. She was sick of fighting, and sitting on the grass, and the crowd. She was going to end the tournament now, before someone got seriously hurt.

"Hey, Yuffie?" Kairi called.

"Yeah babe?"

"Are there any swords up there you can nick?"

Yuffie looked around. "You want any particular type?"

"One I know how to use."

"Got it." Yuffie disappeared. Kairi waited for a couple minutes and then Yuffie was waving a keyblade at her. "Be careful, Kairi, I think it's the King's."

'_You stole the King's sword?'_ Kairi thought in shock as she accepted the weapon. _'…I guess I did just put you up to it.'_

Kairi stood up and hefted the weapon. The balance was good, but the grip wasn't right for her. She swung the blade. It wasn't perfect, but it would do.

The redhead strode up to the fighting brothers. "You two need to end this," she said. The men ignored her. Kairi sighed, shaking her head. "Basch fon Ronsenburg! Stop fighting with your brother at once," Kairi ordered, mimicking her mother's best 'mom' voice. She swung up the keyblade at once.

They keyblade hit Gabranth's sword with a clang. Kairi was correct in her assessment of Gabranth's intentions. Grunting, Kairi shoved the swords hard enough to knock the surprised man to the ground. She stuck her keyblade at Gabranth's throat.

"Shut up and stay there until I'm done talking to Basch," Kairi snapped.

Gabranth opened his mouth in surprise, but then shut it again without saying anything. Basch looked just as surprised as Gabranth did.

"I want you to stop fighting before someone gets seriously hurt," Kairi said. "I know I asked you to win, but in the end, Yuffie's coming home with me no matter what. I don't want you getting hurt for some stupid petty reason. Can you please stop?"

Basch smiled and gave a slight bow to Kairi. "But of course, I concede to you, my lady."

Kairi gave Basch a frown. _'What? Why is he conceding to me?'_

"We have a winner!" Basch announced, giving a low bow to Kairi. The crowd broke into cheers.

"Can you let me up now?" Gabranth asked.

"I'm confused," Kairi said.

"You entered the challenge and beat me. Then you got Basch concede," Gabranth explained. "You won fair and square. Now can you let me up?"

"Of course," Kairi said, removing the keyblade. She felt more than a little confused at what was going on.

"Do you have any particular title we should announce you by?" Gabranth asked.

She shook her head, Kairi was more interested in the girl kicking the royal guards. Basch left to pull Yuffie off the helpless soldiers. It wasn't fair to the poor men that they had to deal with a fully trained ninja.

"Make way for Princess Kairi!" Gabranth announced. He smirked at Kairi, then placed the girl onto his black charger.

Gabranth led the horse through the crowd that he descended to the field after the tournament ended. One man asked what country was Kairi from. Another asked what made her enter into the contest.

"I'm from a country that's… far far away?" Kairi said, uncertainly. She accepted her scarf back from Basch.

Yuffie suddenly leapt onto the back of the horse. "You did great," Yuffie said, hugging Kairi tightly. "I'm glad my sword lessons are paying off."

Gabranth led them back to the royal box. An older gentleman with large ears, the King, came forward. Kairi sheepishly returned his keyblade.

"May I ask why you decided to enter our little jousting match, fair princess of the kingdom of Far Far Away?" the King asked.

"I had to win back my… captain of the guards," Kairi said, making up a title for Yuffie on the spot. She was getting better at telling stories. "And consort. She's my consort too." Yuffie smirked at that addendum.

"Ah," the King said, "Well, you are always welcome in King Mickey's court."

"Thank you," Kairi said, accepting a circlet from King Mickey.

She turned the horse away and rode out of the crowd. Basch and Gabranth quickly caught up to them. They walked alongside the horse until the crowd had thinned out a bit. Kairi presented the scarf to Yuffie, who was delighted to receive it.

"Now I just have one question," Kairi said as the horse pattered along.

"What's that?" Yuffie asked.

"How do we get off this thing?"

She really didn't want to fall off the horse. Yuffie just laughed. Kairi glared at her girlfriend, but shortly burst out laughing too. It was impossible for Kairi to be mad at Yuffie. They were just too good for each other to fight much. That was the way things should be.

* * *

That was chapter 15 of Ordinary Adventures. I hope you all liked it. Please review, it doesn't take a lot of time or effort and I love getting them. If nothing else, it's a really good way to get any questions answered. As long as I have a way to respond, I do reply to all my reviews. Thank you all for reading.


	16. Returning for a Picnic

MC: Hey everybody! I'm back, and it took only a little over two months. So I'm making a bit of progress of the updating bit. Yes, this chapter is a bit shorter than some of the others, but I think it's a complete story, so that should be fine. Besides, I'm certain everyone prefers me updating now instead of trying to squeeze another scene that doesn't make sense in somewhere. Also, some exciting news is that Ordinary Adventures has now gotten over 100 reviews! I want to thank everyone that's reviewed in the past for helping get to that grand number. So, thank you! You guys rock! Well, I'm taken enough of your time, so go read!

DISCLAIMER: Square Enix owns all the characters. I don't even have Kairi or Yuffie action figures, so please don't sue.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 16: Returning for a Picnic**

"Are you certain this is a wise idea, Yuffie?"

Yuffie sighed. "Of course it is, Kairi. The motorcycle is perfectly safe, everything is packed, Yunie is securely fastened on, we both have helmets, a full tank a gas, and a complete map of all the interstates. Can we please leave now?"

Kairi patted Yuna's cage hesitantly as she stared at the motorcycle as if it was a vicious beast. "Why can't we take the bus again?"

Yuffie ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "The bus doesn't allow pets. Babe, if we don't leave now, we're gonna be driving in the dark. You already said you didn't want us driving in the dark. What happened to our schedule? You love schedules, and we're three hours behind on this one! Can we please go?"

"You rented a motorcycle." Kairi turned to Yuffie. "How could you rent a motorcycle? You're not old enough to rent a car, much less a bike. And do you even have a license? I certainly don't have a license. Plus, you have really bad motion sickness and—"

"Kairi, chill out," Yuffie said soothingly. She gently rubbed Kairi's neck. "First, I rented a motorcycle because it's one of the few vehicles I don't get sick in. Secondly, the rental company was willing to rent to the surfing star that could _easily_ afford to replace any bike she broke. The only reason we don't have one is because we have no place to put it."

"And we don't need it due to the trolleys."

"And we don't need it due to the trolleys," Yuffie agreed. "And finally, I have a license, with a motorcycle endorsement. Here." She handed the redhead her license. Kairi stared at the license intently, flipping it over a few times.

"Is it valid?"

"Is it valid?" Yuffie spluttered. "I got my license at sixteen and my motorcycle license at eighteen. When I took the test my examiner was so grateful that he passed me with flying colors… you know, I never understood why he insisted on walking back to the DMV. When I took my motorcycle test, the same thing happened there too. Funny."

"Oh god." Kairi put her face in her hands. "I'm gonna die on some random highway when Yuffie plows into a full sized wild chocobo."

"Now who's overreacting?" Yuffie asked. "Tell ya what, you can squeeze me as tightly as you want the entire trip. You were really excited when I asked you on this trip and I want you to remain that way. So let's go, I promise you'll have a lotta fun. Believe me, riding a motorcycle is just like flying."

Kairi slowly picked up her helmet. "Promise me you'll get us to Wutai in one piece?"

"I promise," Yuffie grinned as she pulled on her helmet.

Yuffie was as good as her word. For the first hour or so of the trip, any change in speed or direction caused Kairi to tightly squeeze the ninja around the waist. Any vehicle that got within ten feet of the motorcycle caused Yuna to squawk in alarm. It was nerve wracking getting out of the city, but eventually Yuffie's passengers began to enjoy the ride.

The wind whistled by, trying to wriggle into any crack or crevice available which made Yuffie feel like they would leave the ground any second. They had an empty stretch of road ahead of them that ran out to touch the sky. The high Yuffie got was only comparable to the one she created when surfing.

Kairi seemed to be experiencing the same high. Slowly, oh so slowly, her grip on Yuffie's waist relaxed. By the time they were half way to Wutai, Kairi was letting go of Yuffie to point out animals.

They spent most of the trip singing along to the radio. At one point they stopped at a rest area to stretch their legs and eat, but Yuffie still got them to Wutai before dark. The girls pulled into Godo Kisaragi's driveway just as the sun set. Kairi unsteadily climbed off the bike before Yuffie parked it.

"Wow," Kairi laughed. "That was supposed to be a nine hour drive. We did it in seven and we stopped for a while."

"Thank you for choosing Kisaragi motor vehicles," Yuffie drawled. "We get you there fast and in one piece."

"Thank you, Yuf," Kairi said, kissing Yuffie, "for not killing us on the way here."

"I'd never do that. Now come on, you get the bird and I'll get the bags. I wanna see how the old man is doing." They hurried to the front door and Yuffie kicked it. "Open up ya old geezer!" she bellowed.

The front door opened and a meek looking boy stood there holding it shyly. He wore Yuffie's family's dojo uniform. She gently pushed the boy aside and entered her childhood home. Kairi followed her inside. The boy shut the front door and hurried over to Yuffie.

"Excuse me," the boy said.

"Is the old guy here?" Yuffie asked, dropping a bag on the boy.

"Yes, but he's eating dinner with the other students right now," he said, struggling to keep up.

"Prefect. Kid? Stick these in my old room. It's the one at the end of the east wing, just watch out for the booby traps. The old man couldn't have gotten through them all… actually, put the bags outside. You wouldn't look good with a black eye."

"You're Yu-Yuffie," the boy stuttered in awe.

"Yup, kiddo." Yuffie leaned over and ruffled the kid's hair. "So how is the old bastard?"

"Fine. I'll stick these in front of your room then." He fled.

"You really scared the boy," Kairi said. "He didn't deserve that. What caused that sort of reaction in him anyway?"

"Among my dad's students I'm a bit of a legend," Yuffie laughed proudly. "Come on, let's join the fun. I'm hungry."

"You did tell your dad we were coming, right?"

"Course I did," Yuffie said. _'I didn't give him an exact date, but I told him.'_

They walked into the Kisaragi dining room. Godo Kisaragi sat at the center of a long table. Six or seven boys of various ages sat along the table, respectably attentive to the dojo master. There were quite a few empty seats around the table. Yuffie strolled in and sat down in the space directly across from her father.

"Hey ya old coot," Yuffie greeted him.

"You are twenty minutes late, you damn brat," Godo growled. "We held off the meal for you."

"You remember Kairi, right?" Yuffie asked, gesturing at the redhead. Kairi sat down next to Yuffie. Yuna in her carrier was set down behind the girls.

"Get more bowls," Godo ordered one of the students. The boy left the room to carry out his order. "Who let you in?"

"A boy smart enough to know that the dojo couldn't replace its front door if I smashed it down with my foot."

"Did you take off your shoes before you came trampling through my home?"

"Yes we did, Mr. Kisaragi," Kairi said.

"You don't have to talk to the baboon that way, Kairi," Yuffie said. "He can't understand pleasantries." The ninja deftly caught the teacup that whizzed by her ear. "You're serving us in used teacups now? That is really gross."

"It's nice to see you, Kairi," Godo said gruffly.

"How is your leg?" Kairi asked.

"Better, thank you."

"That was a real nice welcome you had for us," Yuffie said, sliding the cup across the table to her father. "All the lights were off and we nearly had to jump the gate."

"Apparently I didn't leave enough traps for you. You still managed to get in."

The boy returned and carefully set out dishware for the girls. Kairi thanked him. He just nodded and returned to his place near Godo. The boy who let them in crept over to his seat at the west end of the table from a side door. Godo spotted him.

"Kytes!" he bellowed. "Were you the one who let the worst miscreant this dojo has ever seen back into its doors?"

"Yes master," Kytes mumbled, staring down at his toes.

"Give the kid a break, Godo," Yuffie said, leaning on the table. "It's been ages since you've spent any time with your darling daughter. Let's eat! I spent the entire day driving just to get here in time."

Godo made a noise that sounded like a cross between a snort and a cough. He pushed the bowl of rice toward Yuffie and refused to say another word during the meal. Not surprisingly, Kairi became the center of attention. All of Godo's disciples were interested in talking to the beautiful redhead, and more importantly, impress her.

Yuffie smirked as she listened to the older boys brag about their rank. They didn't seem to have caught on that Kairi wasn't an old student of Godo's. Still it was fun when she laughed, and Kairi laughed hardest at Yuffie's comments. After dinner ended the two eldest boys invited Kairi to watch them spar, but she declined.

Yuffie couldn't stop laughing as they walked to her old room.

"It's not that funny," Kairi said hotly. She was blushing still from their conversation with the boys.

"But the look on that dope's face was priceless," Yuffie sniggered. "He couldn't believe that you were with me and then he started gasping and I swear he was about to flop about like a fish."

"Come on, he's just a boy and he's probably never seen an out lesbian before. If your dad's previous behavior is any indicator, he must think that tough guys always get the pretty girl."

"Kid's sixteen. You were sixteen when I met you and I didn't give you any slack."

"You were crushing on me."

"I was," Yuffie agreed. She stuck a hand out to stop Kairi. "Hang on a minute. I need to debooby trap the door. Neither one of us wants our hair on fire."

"When did these booby traps get here anyway?" Kairi asked. "I don't remember any when we were here last time… when we broke in."

"Oh, they were there. They were just kinda old and rusty since it had been years since I set them. I was able to easily dismantle them before you got in."

Yuffie jimmied off the vent grate next to her door. She carefully untied a few knots and moved a few wires. "When we stopped by I reset them and added a few new ones. We can now open the door. Just don't touch any windows!"

Kairi carried Yuna and a bag into the room. Yuffie followed with the rest of their stuff. After the ninja shut the door Kairi let Yuna out so that the chocobo could walk around. Yuna seemed annoyed that Yuffie had made her stay in a cage all day. She chased the ninja around the room, trying to peck Yuffie's sensitive feet.

"This isn't fair," Yuffie whined, jumping over the bed. "You're the one who put her in the cage and you could have let her out before dinner. Why is she chasing me?"

"Yunie," Kairi called, grabbing the bird as she rushed by. She stroked the bird's crest and held her close. "Shh, be a good girl for mommy." Yuna made a few hissing noises toward Yuffie, but happily settled against Kairi's chest.

"I will never understand why she doesn't consider me 'mommy number two.' I mean, I've always been mommy number two," Yuffie said, rubbing her feet.

"What I don't get is the sudden change in behavior," Kairi said. "The last time we saw Godo you were desperate to please him. What changed?"

Yuffie's grin faded. "You fixed our relationship, Kairi. I hadn't talked to him since he found out I was queer until he snapped his leg. Then things were weird because I thought I had disappointed the old bastard, but you fixed everything. We're acting the way we used to when I lived here… although we haven't hit each other yet. I was surprised he only threw a teacup at me."

Kairi's brow shot up. "You know, I think I'm glad he doesn't consider me one of his own."

"Oh he does," Yuffie assured. "Kisaragi men'—and I guess their lesbians—tend to marry small delicate looking women. That doesn't mean they don't learn to fight, it just means they don't look like they can and everybody is real gentle with them."

"There are so many parts of that statement I want to rip apart I don't know where to begin," Kairi said.

'_Oh shit,'_ Yuffie thought. _'What were the bad parts?'_

"I suppose I should begin with the most troubling," Kairi mused. "Did you pick me because I have a delicate bone structure and you wanted to follow tradition? Do I even have a delicate bone structure?"

"What? No, no, no! Well, yes, but no!"

"Could you be a little clearer, Yuff?" Kairi asked, putting her chin on her fist.

"Okay, I totally did not decide to spend the rest of my life with you because you had a delicate bone structure and I wanted to be like my dad, and my granddad, and all my cousins and uncles. Yes, you do have a delicate bone structure and I think it's really attractive, but that's because it's elegant and swanlike." Yuffie tried to demonstrate a swan's neck with her hands. "And while yeah, a lotta guys in our family go for fragile looking girls—which you are not in any shape or form because you are a strong, but graceful woman—it's because it's been built into our genetic code! And you can't fight genetic coding, Kairi! It's in our DNA! If I had tried, I'd probably be marred to Jet Lee or someone and we'd both be completely miserable because we wouldn't be with each other!"

"Should I start clapping now?" Kairi asked with a grin. She quickly added, "I'm being completely serious. That was probably the best rant I've ever heard you give."

"Can I get a kiss instead?" Yuffie meekly asked. "My head hurts."

Kairi gave her an amazing smile that was just a hair's breath away from being a smirk. She set Yuna on Yuffie's old desk then patted her lap. Yuffie eagerly climbed into it. They started kissing. Just as Yuffie managed to undo the redhead's bra she heard the door open and Godo Kisaragi splutter in shock.

"What are you doing to that poor girl?" Godo bellowed, his face bright red. "Under my roof you can't even keep your hands to yourself?"

Feeling like she was sixteen again, Yuffie yelled back, "God dad, don't you ever friggin knock?"

**xxx**

When the girls arrived at breakfast the next morning all the dojo students looked at them. Apparently there was some chitchat going on between the boys. Yuffie sighed it was going to be a pain if they spent the rest of the visit staring at them like they were strange and dangerous creatures.

'_I hope they don't expect us to start in on each other right here in front of them,'_ Yuffie thought. _'Kairi certainly wouldn't go for it.'_

"Pass the tea, Yuffie," Kairi said. Yuffie handed the teapot over to Kairi. "You know it's a shame that we were interrupted last night."

"Really?" Yuffie said.

"Yes. Then there would be an actual reason for all the stares."

Yuffie started laughing. "You're completely right, babe."

"So you guys are really a couple?" asked Kytes.

"Yup," Yuffie said cheerfully. "Got a problem with that?" She turned to the others. "If any of you have a problem with it we can take it to the ring. I assure you, you will lose."

The students quickly stopped staring and turned back to their meals. Yuffie smirked. She still completely owned the dojo and this time she was old enough so she couldn't be ignored. Kytes tugged at the sleeve of her yukata.

"Yes?"

"Do you think that you're gonna take over the dojo after your father?" he asked.

"Maybe," Yuffie said thoughtfully. "I am the heir you know. But the old man is still kicking pretty well and I'm still a pro surfer. What do ya say, Kairi? You wanna be a dojo mistress when we get old?"

Kairi shrugged. "I know nothing about running a dojo and I can't imagine your dad simply handing it over to you and you peacefully accepting it. Someone will probably have to die or get mortally wounded before you take over."

"That sounds right." Yuffie turned to Kytes. "You probably don't have to worry about it in the near future."

"So what are we doing today?" Kairi asked.

"We are taking a little jaunt to the far reaches of our property to visit my mother," Yuffie said.

"Your mother? I thought she had passed away," Kairi said gently.

"She died when I was three, nineteen years ago to the day, actually. We have a tradition of visiting her grave every year on this day. We usually go clean off her tombstone, eat lunch with her and tell her what's been going on. I'd like to introduce you to her, Kairi."

Kairi nodded. "I'll make lunch. How many are going?"

"You don't have to, Miss," Kytes said. "We usually make it, nothing special, but it's filling."

"No, I'm fine doing it," Kairi said, smiling at Kytes. "I could use some help, but I can do it. Does everyone go?"

"Naw, a lotta times it was just me, the geezer, and maybe a student or two to carry the stuff. It'll probably only be a couple people."

"Then I'd better get started," Kairi said, getting up from the table. She held out a hand to Kytes. "Wanna show me the kitchen? Yuffie, could you find out from your dad how many are going?"

"Sure," Yuffie said, also getting up. She already knew where her dad would be, but she still asked one of the boys.

She ambled over to the dojo part of her old home. Godo was in the main training hall practicing on his own. As soon as he noticed her she was drawn into the fight. Yuffie had been expecting this, he always did that sort of thing, but that didn't mean she was happy having to do six backflips in a row right after she ate.

"Old man!" she yelled, rolling to dodge another one of his killer kicks.

Suddenly Godo was right next to her and slamming his fist into her gut. This really pissed Yuffie off. Here she was trying to help schedule the picnic and to visit mom and as usual Godo was acting like an ass. With a bellow, Yuffie grabbed and twisted the offending arm and then threw him over her shoulder at the other end of the hall in one smooth motion. Godo landed safely, he wasn't a dojo master for nothing, but he wasn't expecting Yuffie's foot slamming into his nose. At the end of her roundhouse kick Godo caught her foot and twisted it, causing the rest of her body to twist. Yuffie landed on her ass.

"You are out of practice," Godo panted, "Goddamn miscreant."

"You've got arthritis," Yuffie snapped back, "your kicks were weaker than my baby chocobo's."

"You need to come back and practice more. An heir cannot take over the dojo until she can defeat the master."

"I didn't come to take your title. I can do that any time. What I want to know is how many people are visiting mom today."

"Just us."

"All rightly," Yuffie said cheerfully. "I'll tell Kairi to pack for four."

"Four?" Godo barked. "You're bringing that girl along?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna introduce her to mom," Yuffie said. "She'll probably be nicer to her than you are." Then she left.

They started out on their trip shortly after that. Right after they got onto the forest trail Yuffie took the picnic basket from Kairi. Then Godo grabbed the picnic basket from Yuffie. The surfer took it back. The peaceful hike through the woods quickly devolved into a tug-of-war. Eventually the victor ended up being Godo.

Huffing angrily, Yuffie looked around. Kairi wasn't there. Yuffie looked around a little more frantically. They weren't on the path either; in fact, Yuffie wasn't really certain where they were at all.

"Old man!" Yuffie yelled, grabbing Godo's neck. "You lost my girlfriend! You got us lost! Where the hell are we?"

"I got us lost? You're the one who got us lost! This is your fault, brat!"

The Kisaragis glared at each other. Then they started walking in different directions. Godo yelled that she was going the wrong way, but Yuffie ignored him. She didn't need his help.

'_Like he knows which way to go,'_ Yuffie thought, snorting. _'Compared to him I'm a GPA system… GPS, I meant GPS. Gaa! I'm a freaking compass compared to that bastard!'_

She trampled along seething silently. Eventually though she calmed down and began enjoying the nature surrounding her. There were lots of flying squirrels in the area and Yuffie even saw some foxes. She found her way to a waterfall and, in the excitement of the falling water, Yuffie promptly forgot she had plans.

She immediately stripped off her outer clothing and began playing in the water. The waterfall wasn't very high, just a few feet, but the pool was very deep. This made it a perfect water slide for Yuffie. She found a large flat slab of wood and turned it into a boogie board.

Yuffie didn't know how many times she went down the waterfall, but before she knew it, it was too dark to see where she was. Feeling a bit sad that the night had put an end to her fun, Yuffie built a fire. She warmed up a little before her stomach loudly informed the ninja that she hadn't eaten since breakfast.

She waded into the water a little upstream from where she had been playing. Shutting her eyes, Yuffie stood very still and slipped into a calm state. Her breathing slowed. Suddenly her right hand shot into the water and wrapped itself around a slimy moving tail. Yuffie pulled a frantic fish out of the water by its tail.

Grinning happily she bounded back to her fire. The ninja shoved a stick through the fish and delicately set it a few inches above the fire. Yuffie dried herself off and redressed. When the fish smelt done she pulled it off the fire and ate. After she finished, Yuffie doused the flames and climbed a tree.

'_I think I was supposed to do something besides play in the water today,'_ Yuffie thought. She looked around at all the trees surrounding her. _'Stupid woods getting in my way so I have no idea where home is. Still, when I get back I really need to show this place to Kairi. We'll have lots of fun.'_

Satisfied with her idea, Yuffie began planning out what she and Kairi would do when they met up again. Yuffie gave up on the planning pretty quickly, though. There were far too many possibilities. She eventually fell asleep counting the stars.

**xxx**

"Yuffie? Yuffie? Oh my god, Yuffie!"

Startled out of her slumber, Yuffie fell out of the tree. She landed with a loud splash in the water she had so enthusiastically played in yesterday. Surfacing, the surfer spit out the water she had inhaled.

A hand grabbed Yuffie by the shoulder and pulled her to shore. Another one pushed the hair out of the ninja's eyes. Yuffie saw Kairi staring down worriedly at her.

"Are you alright?" Kairi asked. "We've been looking for you since last night."

"So the old man was right for once," Yuffie thought out loud.

"Actually, your dad is still missing."

Kairi hauled Yuffie out of the water and into a bear hug.

"Hey now," Yuffie said, pushing her girlfriend away gently. "I'm getting you sopping wet."

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," Kairi said, pulling her closer. Then in a softer voice she added, "I thought I told you to stop scaring me, Yuffie. I got really worried when you never showed up at the gravesite. I got all of your dad's students out here searching for you two."

"I forgot all about visiting mom!" Yuffie exclaimed, slapping her forehead. She looked at Kairi worriedly. "Was it bad?"

"I waited all afternoon for you guys to show," Kairi said, sounding annoyed. "It got really awkward after I ran out of graves to clean. I felt like I was intruding on a private wake or something."

"You cleaned my family's graveyard."

"Well, it wasn't a very good job or anything," Kairi said sheepishly. "I didn't have any soap or water."

"You cleaned the entire Kisaragi graveyard."

"You were gone for a very long time."

"We've got like sixty grave stones in there," Yuffie laughed, slightly hysterical.

"There are forty-eight tombstones, twelve memorial tablets, and a very large, very elegantly carved alter that's infested with rats."

"I'm sorry, babe," Yuffie mumbled. "It shouldn't happen again."

"It never should have happened in the first place. Now let's find your dad! I'm worried he fell down a ravine or something."

Pumped with new energy, Yuffie dove head first into the underbrush to find Godo. She stood up a moment later, brushing tree twigs off her yukata. Kairi sighed and rubbed her temples. After Kairi informed the ninja that she wasn't allowed to assist the search until she was in dry clothes, Yuffie cheerful mugged one of the nearby students. Her reasoning was that as a male student of the dojo, he could train much better without the heavy Gi weighing him down. A loincloth was much better.

Yuffie blasted through the forest. She left a blaze of destruction in her wake, allowing Kairi to follow behind. As long as she could remember her mission was to find Godo, she was unstoppable.

After the sun had risen enough to turn the sky light blue, Godo was spotted. He was in the far southern part of the woods, not that far from home actually. He had one of the more junior students riding on his back as he push his way through the trees.

"Where have you been?" Yuffie demanded, grabbing Godo's arm.

"Around," he said, shifting the boy on his back. "I made it to your mother's grave late last night, but it was already clean, so I paid my respects and left."

"Then he saved me," Kytes added from Godo's back.

"Kid fell down the gulley and twisted his ankle. You remember the one, I taught you to swim in it."

"How could I forget? You threw me into the flooded river at the bottom of the ravine until I learned how to swim. I don't know how may times I nearly drowned," Yuffie said.

Kairi finally caught up to Yuffie. She latched onto the older girl's waist. "Stop bounding off like that. You know I can't run as fast as you can."

Yuffie wrapped an arm around Kairi's waist without letting go of Godo. She gave Kairi a big grin. "Let's head home now before we get lost again. Kairi, I don't believe you've seen all the perks of living in a traditional home."

"You two are not having sex in my bath," Godo snapped. "I finally got my lilies the way I wanted them and you are not destroying them."

"What? No of course not," Kairi yelped, blushing badly. "Just, no, no way."

'_Damn his thought process,'_ Yuffie thought grumpily. _'We think too similarly. God I hope I wasn't conceived in there.'_

They got home not long after. Kairi headed to bed shortly thereafter and Yuffie followed suit. She had a nice long nap in the middle of the night, but Kairi had been up since yesterday morning and she had spent the night worried sick.

"Are you mad at me?" Yuffie asked. Kairi had ignored her since they had gotten back.

"Not as much as I was when you first started arguing with your dad," Kairi said. She rolled over so that they were facing each other. "I know you two communicate by arguing, but I hate petty squabbling. Unlike when my friends argue, I can't grab you two, knock your heads together and tell you two to stop it."

"Sure you could," Yuffie laughed. "My grandma did it all the time when we were little."

"The worst part about this is that you didn't get to introduce me to your mom."

"Maybe we can do it later. I still want to introduce you to each other. Besides I know my mom would be really mad if I forgot to visit her; especially when we drove all the way up here to Wutai specifically to visit her."

Kairi smiled at her. "I guess we can't disappoint your mom. I'd like to do a proper job cleaning her memorial with soap and water, I had meant to bring some yesterday."

Yuffie kissed her. "You've already done more than enough. The Kisaragi family owes you big time."

"You know I haven't completely forgiven you yet, Yuffie."

Yuffie jerked back forcefully enough that she fell out of bed. "Sorry," she apologized.

"It's alright, I forgive you," Kairi said, smiling. "Now get into bed."

**xxx**

"—and we didn't find dad until it was after dawn, so that's why I was two days late," Yuffie finished. She had been sitting properly all this time, but now she bowed. "I am very sorry, mother, please forgive me."

"I think she forgives you, Yuffie." Kairi leaned down and touched the ninja's back, causing her to sit up. "I think she's been more worried about the rift in your relationship for the past five years."

"She knows dad and I always fight," Yuffie laughed. "We did even when she was alive. Oh, I haven't introduced you to mom yet."

Yuffie grabbed Kairi's hand and pulled her down. After a moment of rearranging herself to also sit properly as well, Kairi pushed her hair out of her eyes. Yuffie beamed at her.

"Mom, this is Kairi, my girlfriend. Kairi, this is my mom, Yuki Kisaragi" Yuffie introduced.

"It's an honor to meet you, Mrs. Kisaragi," Kairi said politely.

"She'd have probably wanted you to call her mom," Yuffie said fondly. "She was very open and caring towards everybody."

They sat in silence. Yuffie let the few vague memories, almost impressions really, roll over her. It was a cloudy day at the Kisaragi family graveyard, but at least it wasn't heavily raining like yesterday. Her mother's tombstone was just starting to show wear and tear after almost twenty years of use, but Yuffie liked to think that the love she felt for her mom could also be seen in the stone.

"I brought you a Milky Way bar, mom," Yuffie said, pulling out the candy. She unwrapped it and set it on top of the tombstone. "You didn't like most western food, but you loved the Milky Way… I didn't tell you I was only starting to figure out things when I left home. Still I think you must have realized that when you were watching over me. Kairi and I have been very happy together. How long have we been together, Kairi?"

"Two and a half years."

"Right, two and a half years, and it's gonna be for a thousand more."

Kairi laughed loudly enough to catch Yuffie's eye. Yuffie slapped her hands together and bowed her head.

"So I ask of you to watch over both of us from now on. Please protect us and guide us the way you would if you were still alive. And please stop my snotty ancestors from complaining that I'm not feminine enough to suit the family name. Kairi's girly enough for the both of us."

"Hey!"

"Well it's true."

Yuffie kissed her fingers and touched them to the tombstone. She shut her eyes and remembered the last time she hugged her mom. Then she looked up to Kairi, who had already climbed to her feet.

"Ready to go?" Kairi asked, helping Yuffie to her feet.

"Yeah," Yuffie said, brushing the dirt from her knees. "I'm ready to go home."

Hand in hand, they made the trip back to Yuffie's childhood home.

* * *

That's the end of chapter 16. I hope you all enjoyed it, and if you didn't, well I'm sorry. Please review. If you've followed this fic so far, it'd be nice if you could leave your opinion, since I do enjoy them and I respond to them all (if I have a way of contacting you). Not really certain when chapter 17 will be posted, but it will come… eventually. Reviews might even cause some inspiration to smack me across the back of my head; unlikely, but it could happen.


	17. A New Job and an Explosion

MC: Hey, it's been a while hasn't it. This is sort of an end of summer gift from me to all of you dear readers. I'm posting this from college, so I'm about to be massively swamped by the great beast. All of my editors have been taken hostage by it too so the quality of the chapter might be slightly affected because I'm a terrible editor. My good buddy, Kong is King, took a look at the chapter for me and pointed out some stuff to me, but my brain's so befuddled by all the new strangers that I doubt all of his corrections have sunk into the completed manuscript. I hope the story is still a fun read.

DISCLAIMER: I never have and probably never will own any rights to Kingdom Hearts or the various characters that appear in this chapter. They all are Square Enix's beautiful creations and all the money should go to them. I make no money off of these stories and do them purely for fun, so please don't sue.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 17: A New Job and an Explosion**

"Olette, it's great to see you!"

"Kairi," Olette laughed, pulling the other girl into a hug.

"How have you been?" Kairi asked. "I haven't seen you since finals ended. How's your boyfriend, Prince?"

"_Pence_ is good, actually. God, it was great seeing my parents again, it wasn't until I saw them that I realized how much I missed them."

"Then its really good you went home."

"What have you been up to? I think I saw Yuffie on TV."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me. Did she look like she was supposed to be on TV or was she being chased by the police?" Kairi asked dryly.

"Why would she be chased by the police?"

"Oh, you know Yuffie," Kairi said off offhandedly. At Olette's concerned stare, she added, "she's the type that wouldn't think twice about trespassing, or breaking and entering, or high sped chases with the police. If she was arrested, she wouldn't think twice about calling Rikku or Leon to bail her out and beg them not to tell me what happened… I better call Yuffie tonight, I haven't heard from her in a week."

"No, it wasn't a chase," Olette assured her. "I think it was a commercial or a preview; I wasn't really paying attention to most of the television I watched while I was home."

"Ah."

The girls strolled along in silence. They were in the university district of Twilight Town, checking out the summer offers stores gave since most of the student population was gone. Quite a few shops had changed hands recently and the stores were putting themselves together in preparation for the new school year.

"Were you looking for a new job?" Kairi asked as they inspected the storefront of a new antiques store.

"Yeah, I mean I love working for housing, but my boss is this total creep. I can't stand the idea of working for him again. You're lucky you have such a nice boss."

"Nice isn't how I would describe Cloud," Kairi said. _'Insensitive uptight workaholic would be a little more accurate.'_

"You're still working for him so he can't be all that bad."

"You'd be amazed by what people will do for a great salary."

"Whatever. Hey look, that café is hiring right now."

Olette eagerly towed Kairi across the street toward a new shop. Spray painted onto the window were the words 'Island Splash' and the redhead could see palm trees and parrots inside. Clearly, this was a tropically themed restaurant.

Olette hesitated at the door. "Should we go in, Kairi?" she asked. "I mean, they might be too busy for me to fill out an application right now."

"They look empty to me. Come on, let's go," Kairi said, pushing her friend inside.

A bell jangled merrily as they entered. They walked over to the counter. A bent over man struggled with an espresso machine. Since he hadn't noticed their presence, Kairi ht the bell on the counter.

He quickly straightened and turned around. "Can I help you ladies?" he asked.

"Irvine?" Kairi gasped.

"That's my name," Irvine laughed, tapping his nametag, "don't wear it out."

"Irvine Kinneas?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know him, Kairi?" Olette asked.

"He's my old boss," Kairi said, still feeling stunned. "From the Islands. What are you doing here?"

"Kairi? My little Kairi, who was the best busgirl I ever had?" Irvine stared at Kairi appraisingly. "God, you really blossomed. I know I saw you at the Wedding, but I wouldn't have recognized you. You've really managed to fill out your T-shirt."

Kairi grabbed the cowboy hat off her former boss's head and smacked him soundly with it. "He's also a huge womanizer," she added dryly.

The cowboy snapped his fingers. "I saw you on TV the other day, Little Red."

"You did?" Kairi asked, feeling startled. "How? Why?"

"You were in this documentary with the Yuffie Kisaragi. It's this six part series that's currently being aired back home on the public broadcasting channel. They're replaying episode 3 this weekend because everyone wants to see you in it."

"Great," Kairi said weakly. "My mother will be thrilled. At least I have an unusual coming out story, my neighbors found out by seeing it on TV."

Irvine leaned over the counter. "Do you remember when Yuffie stopped in my restaurant way back when?"

"Yes."

"Were you two already dating? And why didn't you tell me your dear buddy Irvine? Do you have any idea how hurt I felt to find out that my dear little employee was dating the pro surfer Yuffie Kisaragi? I'm her biggest fan!"

"Irvine."

"What?"

"The day Yuffie walked into your café was the first time I had ever laid eyes on her."

"Oh, so I brought you two together?"

"…" Kairi glanced at Olette, who shrugged. "Sure."

After giggling and waving his fists about in glee, Irvine asked, "So what brought you to my café house? Care for your old job back?"

"Actually, my friend, Olette," Kairi said, gesturing at Olette, "is interested in a job. Or did you change your mind after meeting the owner?"

"I'd like to apply," Olette said.

"Great! I need some more slaves," Irvine said. He dug in one of the cupboards before handing Olette a few crinkled pages. "Fill these out and then we'll see about an interview."

Olette graciously accepted the application. She sat down at a table and earnestly filled out the forms. Kairi watched her for a few moments before returning her attention to Irvine.

"What are you doing opening a café in Twilight?" she asked.

"I've been syndicated," he said. "This is the first of a chain of stores being opened outside the Islands and I'm a bit nervous that they won't fly here."

"You'll do great, Irvine. You have a fun menu, good atmosphere, and you're quirky enough not to let anything stop you."

"You're probably right." Irvine sighed, tipping his cowboy hat back before grinning at Kairi. "I don't know why I was worried, I'm Irvine Kinneas after all… I was serious about offering you that job. I could use a manager here."

"Sorry, I've already got a boss."

"Certain I can't steal you away?"

"If I left my boss now than it will be hard getting a job with his firm in four years when I'm a lawyer."

"You want a second job?"

"I got all the job I can handle. Besides, you only want me around so you can learn more about Yuffie."

"That isn't true; learning more about Yuffie would be an added benefit, a bonus. You make a great employee, Kairi and any boss would love to boss you around."

"Gee," Kairi said. "That's what I've always wanted."

"Umm, hey guys," Olette said nervously. "I'm done with the application."

Irvine happily took the application and scanned it. He flipped through the several pages, looking at each one intently. He set the papers on the counter and folded his arms.

"We can have an interview now or we can schedule one for later," Irvine said seriously. "Which do you prefer?"

"Right now is great!" Olette said eagerly. She glanced over at Kairi guiltily. "If it's alright with you, Kairi. I don't really mean to bail on our shopping."

"It's fine, it's fine," Kairi insisted. "I need to get home soon anyway."

As Irvine began the interview, Kairi left the café. She decided to head home and play with Yuna. It had been too long since they had played together. She also wanted to give Yuffie a call, they really hadn't talked in a while and Kairi hoped her earlier jokes weren't actually true.

'_It would be just my luck if she actually ended up in jail after I joked about it,'_ Kairi thought, laughing.

**xxx**

Kairi twisted the phone cord in her fingers. She was worried about Yuffie, she hadn't answered her phone yesterday despite the fact Kairi tried calling several times spread out over the afternoon and evening. She knew her girlfriend was busy with surfing, training, reporters, publicity, and fans. She knew all of this when they got together and normally Kairi loved having the surfer out of her hair for a couple of weeks at a time.

It was just… different this time. The conversation with Olette left Kairi thinking about how much she missed Yuffie. Last night Yuna simply wasn't big or warm enough to suit Kairi's needs. If Kairi had to specify her current feelings, she'd have to say she was feeling neglected and unappreciated.

That was why she was on the phone again.

'_Come on, pick up, Yuf,'_ Kairi thought. _'I don't want to listen to that awful message you have again.'_

The phone rang for the fifth time. Then there was a little click, a beep, and Yuffie's recorded voice filled the line. "Oay! This is the Great Ninja Yuffie and I'm off doing super awesome too-cool-to-hang-out-with-you-losers-stuff right now! Leave a message and I'll get back to you after the butterflies on my phone let me access my voicemail. Hey Kairi—BEEP!"

Kairi sighed. "Yuffie, you already know I hate your message—but it is better than your previous one, I'll give you that—so could you please change it? Give me a call when you have a chance. Bye."

She hung up. Then, leaning back against the couch, gave a great sigh. Somehow the phone call had left her feeling depressed, like it would have been better not to have called at all.

"Am I turning into a clingy girlfriend?" Kairi asked out loud. She looked at Yuna. "Seriously, what do you think, girl? Have I gone off the deep end from lack of human interaction? Well, obviously that's the case, I'm talking to a chocobo."

Yuna warked indignantly and climbed into Kairi's lap. She hugged the bird tightly.

"I know you're a smart girl, Yunie. Mommy's just feeling sorry for herself. God, I wish I could think of something fun to do right now… don't wanna work on the weekend, bills are paid, dishes are clean, and there isn't enough laundry to justify a load. Why isn't Yuffie around to make something explode?"

A loud booming noise resounded through the apartment. It sent Yuna squawking wildly. Kairi looked around nervously to make certain she wasn't about to be hit by falling rock or end up at the epicenter of a second explosion.

"Why do I only get results when I ask for trouble?"

Kairi stood up and investigated her surroundings. There were no immediate signs of an explosion. Checking the entire apartment yielded nothing. Then, feeling a little silly, she looked outside her window to see if the source was outside. She was more than a bit shocked at what she saw.

There was a large gaping hole where the street used to exist. Concrete and other debris were scattered about the hole. She could just make out the bottom of the sewer, far below the point where the street should have been. It was difficult to see what was down there though because a fountain of dirty water spewed from the hole. Several buildings, including her own, were badly damaged. Many people stood around looking stupefied. One of the overturned cars was on fire and it looked like the flames were spreading. Kairi could hear sirens in the distance.

"Yuna, we need to get out of here," she said, grabbing the bird. "I don't know what caused the explosion, but there could be a gas leak and I can already see a fire."

Kairi stuck around only long enough to lock her door. She made it to Axel's place in record time. He answered his door looking annoyed and flustered.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"You know, just for the hell of it, I decided to switch movie night to tonight instead of having t next week because I thought it would make you all hot and bothered," Kairi said flippantly. "Which is has, and I decided to bring Yuna along, so she wouldn't be lonely, since she loves her Axel. Now move!"

She shoved past Axel. An extremely embarrassed Roxas knelt on the couch feeble holding his shirt. Kairi plopped down on the couch next to him and handed the boy the bird.

"This isn't what it looks like," Roxas said.

"Sure, sure, I know, Roxas," Kairi interrupted. "Now where's the remote?"

With a grimace Axel pulled the remote out of the front of his pants. At Roxas' look he said, "It got stuck in there when I zipped up too fast after you kicked me in the face." He offered the remote to Kairi, but she waved him away.

"Axel, could you stop fooling around and just turn on the TV?" she asked. "I want the news please."

Grumbling, Axel flipped on the TV and turned to the nearest news program. Not surprisingly, the current story was that mysterious explosion in front of Kairi's home. As the reporters chattered on, Kairi gleaned that the explosion was most likely caused by some sort of gas leak or a meth lab and that was really just a guess because the reporters had no real idea, the fire wasn't contained, and the area was blocked off until further notice.

"Shit man," Axel said, "that's your street."

"Yep," Kairi said.

"Look, if I had known that had happened, I wouldn't have been so…"

"Pissy?" Roxas supplied.

"…pissy about you barging in." Axel glared at Roxas. "Who uses the word pissy?"

"You can stay here for as long as you need to," Roxas said. Axel opened his mouth to say something, but Roxas elbowed him in the gut. "As long as you like."

"Thanks guys," Kairi said, smiling. "I'll probably only spend a few nights while I get in touch with Yuffie. I can't make too many major decisions without her input."

"Speak of the devil," Axel laughed, pointing at the TV.

Yuffie was on the TV standing next to the reporter. She looked a little frantic and was demanding to know if the reporter had seen any redheads.

"Where the hell has she been?" Kairi demanded.

They watched in fascination as Yuffie got fed up with the reporter. She then vaulted over the police 'Do Not Cross' barricade to try and get to her apartment. When a couple of HAZMAT suits came to stop her from going in any further, Yuffie delivered a few kicks to their faces, thereby warding them off. A few police officers came up to try and stop her. They could hear the reporter order her camera to focus on "that crazy girl" because she would drive up the ratings.

Kairi quickly pulled out her cell phone and punched in Yuffie's number. After two rings Yuffie picked up.

"You know you're on TV, right?" Kairi asked.

"Hey babe," Yuffie said, grinning. "Do I look hot kicking ass and taking names?" It was odd hearing Yuffie on the phone and on TV simultaneously.

"Technically, you're kicking face or gut, not ass, and I haven't heard you ask for anyone's name. So your statement is completely off base."

"Right."

"Can you stop assaulting police officers? I expect that sort of behavior from Axel, not you, and I really don't want to have to post bail for you."

"They won't let me through. How else am I supposed to get to you?"

"I'm not at home."

"Oh." Yuffie stared at the pile of bodies at her feet. "Well, now I feel foolish."

"As you should."

"Where are you?"

"Axel's and I expect you to get here soon," Kairi said, hanging up the phone.

Kairi watched as Yuffie hung up her own phone. Then the ninja leapt back over the 'Do Not Cross' barricade and bound off. The camera tried to keep up with her, but Yuffie's path was so quick and erratic that it soon lost her.

"I hope they don't post an arrest warrant on her," Kairi said. "I don't know if Cloud would help me find her a decent defense lawyer after the stunt she just pulled."

"Is she spending the night too?" Axel asked.

"Obviously," Roxas hissed, smacking Axel across the back of his head. "Now be nice."

"You've gotten more violent since you started dating Axel," Kairi said.

"I have," Roxas agreed. "Axel, you're a bad influence on me."

Axel just growled in response to Roxas' claim. He shuffled into the bedroom and began throwing things about. Kairi and Roxas watched in interest for a while before Roxas had to ask what he was doing.

"I'm hiding all of our sensitive material before that little snoop gets here," Axel growled. "I don't need her waving my stuff around my house cackling wildly."

"I've found that my girlfriend has a sixth sense when it comes to finding hidden stuff. In fact, the harder you hide something, the faster she finds it. That's why I always store her presents in plain sight… it's funny, she never finds them."

"Maybe she finds them really easily, but pretends not to," Roxas said.

"The thing is, I don't think so. She always tries to hide the fact that she's going through my closet during the holidays. That's also the only time she's interested in the kitchen cabinets."

"Oh."

The doorbell rang. Roxas left to let Yuffie in. Axel sat down next to his cousin. He regretted that decision when Yuffie burst into the living room and kicked him in the forehead as she leapt onto the couch to be by Kairi.

"Oww!" Axel screamed, clutching his forehead. Roxas lead him into the bathroom as Axel muttered something about crazy lesbians.

"Kairi! I've missed you so much!" Yuffie yelled, burying her head in Kairi's shoulder. "What was going on? Why was everything blocked off like that at home?"

"I don't know what's going on, just that there's been a really bad explosion and we aren't allowed back in our neighborhood," Kairi said. "More importantly, where have you been?"

"Our boat was blown off course by a tropical storm. Instead of being on the boat for two days, we were on it for six 'cause the storm wiped out our navigation and communication systems."

"Wait a minute, your boat was blown off course by a tropical storm?"

"Yup," Yuffie grinned, sitting back so she could look at Kairi. "We would have been really screwed if one of the three groups that were coming on the trip bailed at the last minute. As it was we ran out of water on day four, lucky we still had juice. I was so glad to be on dry land again you wouldn't believe it."

"And here I was worried you had been arrested. Silly me."

"What have you been up to?"

"Oh, nothing much, just work, nothing compared to being _lost at sea_."

"It really wasn't that bad. Still, let's think about happier things, like dinner."

"I ordered pizza," Roxas said, putting away his cell phone. "You haven't become a vegetarian, have you, Yuffie?"

"Never!" Yuffie yelled, sticking her finger up in the air. "I'm a carnivore!"

"Omnivore," Kairi said.

"Whatever, point is that I like meat."

The conversation petered out shortly after that. Axel popped in the newest chick flick he had bought, Sugar Cube Shortage, into the DVD player and flopped on the couch next to Yuffie. Roxas sat next to Kairi, much to his boyfriend's displeasure. They paused the movie when the food arrived, but after that Axel refused to stop it.

During the third movie that night Yuffie found the provocative magazines Axel had hidden. Axel chased the ninja around the apartment while Roxas and Kairi finished the movie. A little past one a truce was called because Roxas wanted his beauty sleep.

The girls pulled the hideaway bed out of the couch. Yuffie happily clambered into bed, but Kairi was a little less willing. The sheets didn't look clean to her and they were oddly stained.

'_It's just for the night,'_ she told herself, following Yuffie's suit. Despite the uncomfortable accommodations, Kairi had to admit that it was nice to have Yuffie next to her. Her surfer had been gone for too long.

**xxx**

"I got the job."

"That's great, Olette," Kairi said, throwing the last sock in the dryer.

Since they couldn't go back to the apartment due to the safety hazards, the only clothes they had were the dirty ones Yuffie's duffel bag. At the moment those were being dry-cleaned. Thanks to this fact, Kairi was borrowing some of Roxas' stuff. The black and white checkered motif didn't really suit her tastes, but at least it fit.

"Irvine said I'm perfect for the job. I start today," Olette continued. "Do you wanna come by? Technically, we don't open until Wednesday, but you'd totally be welcome. You could help us finish putting up decorations."

"They were already up when I came in with you. You just want to get me in there to help you clean."

"Well… yes, but you'd be doing me a huge favor and Irvine will pay you. If he doesn't then I will. Look, getting this place ship shape in just three days is too much for Vivi and me. Especially since we'll be spending Tuesday dealing with food shipments and making last minute adjustments. You know someone is gonna screw up the order and I'll be stuck on the phone all day trying to fix it."

"Who is Vivi?"

"My cute little fellow employee. As soon as Irvine hires another person or two he's taking over the nightshift."

"He's cute?"

"Little kid cute. He used to work in computer repairs and is really shy, but I think that he'll be really sweet once he gets used to me. If you could just come in and help out for a couple hours that would mean a lot to me."

"Fine. Let me finish with my laundry and then I'll come over. Expect me noonish."

"Thanks Kai."

"Yeah yeah, bye."

Kairi hung up and sighed. She was a pushover and her friends knew it. When the laundry was done she took it back up to Axel's apartment. Before she left for the café, Kairi woke up her girlfriend and demanded that she find out what was going on with their home.

When she arrived at Island Splash a small boy in an oversized yellow sombrero let her in. As soon as Kairi was inside the boy quickly backed away and hid behind the counter. Olette quickly appeared and greeted Kairi.

"Thank you so much for coming," Olette said, grinning. "Here's a mop, can you clean the floors?" It's that or scrubbing the toilets with a toothbrush. Your pick."

"What about cleaning the oven?"

"Vivi's already taken that over. If I didn't know better I'd say he had some mystical connection with machines. He brought this forty-year-old toaster back to life this morning."

"Ah, I'll take the mop."

"That's what I thought. Now if you excuse me, I have to go scrub a toilet."

Kairi smirked as Olette left for the bathroom. She was pleased she wasn't getting the worst task. Then again, Olette knew that while the redhead could be cajoled into helping out, she would walk out on Olette if she was saddled with the worst task. After filling a bucket with soap and water Kairi got to work.

The job actually wasn't that bad. Kairi knew how to mop from her days as a waitress and the shop wasn't very big so the job didn't take that long. That didn't mean she had fun moping, Vivi didn't speak to her at all and Olette was in the bathroom, just that it wasn't as mind numbingly awful as she was expecting. She cleaned the tabletops and chairs after the floor dried. That was extremely similar to cleaning the floor, except she could flip the objects upside down. By the time Kairi finished scrubbing the last tabletop Vivi had gotten all of the appliances cleaned and working.

"Would you like something to drink?"

Kairi looked up at Vivi. He stared back nervously. "Excuse me?" she asked.

"You've been nicely helping us out today, despite the fact you aren't being paid," Vivi said nervously. "So the least I-we could do is feed you, perhaps. What would you like? We've got a few ingredients here and if I had to, I could run over to the grocery store."

"If you have the supplies to make a sandwich, that'd be great, Vivi. Thanks."

Vivi nodded, opening the refrigerator. Kairi shook her head while grinning and left to grab Olette, who was still in the bathroom. When they came out there were three perfectly created sandwiches sitting on the counter. They blinked in surprise at the completed meal. It had taken Vivi less than a minute to pull three sandwiches together. He smiled shyly at their amazement.

"I'm good with my hands," Vivi said modestly.

"I'll say," Olette laughed. She took a bite out of her sandwich. "These are amazing."

"These are nothing special."

"Right…"

"Vivi, you are going to make someone very happy someday."

"Really?"

"I agree," Kairi said, after tasting her sandwich. "Cooking is a highly appreciated skill that is always wanted in a mate. Sadly, Yuffie can't cook, but at least she has other good points."

"Pence can't cook either," Olette said. "But Roxas can; he makes great quiche."

"He has to, I mean, do you really expect Axel to cook? The guy is more interested in the flame than the food, so anything he cooks ends up charred beyond belief."

They finished eating their sandwiches. There was a loud thunking noise behind Kairi. At Vivi's startled stare, she whirled around to find Yuffie pressed against the front window, banging it with her fist. With a sigh Kairi got up and let Yuffie inside before she accidently broke it.

"I did what you asked," Yuffie said as soon as she was inside the coffee hut. "Our landlord is freaking out and shutting down our building and is selling the thing as soon as possible. He's gonna void out all our leases."

"But our stuff is in there," Kairi said, outraged.

"That's exactly what I said and the lady, I think I was talking to our super, said that no one was allowed in the building until the construction crew puts in a new support beam so the building won't collapse with us inside. Then we can come in and get our stuff."

"How long will that take?"

"Construction on the building might take a few weeks, but they can't come in until the street is fixed and cleared of major hazards."

"So in other words, we can't get to our stuff for months."

"That's what it sounds like."

"Fuck." Kairi brushed her hair out of her eyes. "That building has all of our stuff in it. A lot of families just lost all of their worldly possessions to an unsafe building and insurance won't cover any of the items because they weren't destroyed, they're just inaccessible for the time being. Double fuck."

"There is one upside to this, Kairi."

"And what, pray tell, is that?"

"You have a justified shopping binge to go on, babe. I have a few days worth of clothing and most of my surfing stuff, so I'm set, but you need stuff. And you even like shopping, so it's all good."

"No, no it's not."

"Ooo, can I come with you when you go shopping for underwear? I wanna help you pick out lingerie."

"No."

I don't get to see your new underwear?"

"Yuffie, I don't plan on buying any underwear."

"So you're going commando? Kinky. I suggest staying away from any new skirts then. Especially mini skirts, you're screwed if there's a wind."

Kairi rolled her eyes and decided to ignore her girlfriend. It wasn't her fault that 'buy no new underwear' equated to 'wearing no underwear' in Yuffie's mind. She turned back toward the others, only to find Vivi missing. It was odd because he had just been right there and he had even left part of his sandwich. Vivi seemed the type to finish his food.

"Where did Vivi go?" she asked.

"When he saw Yuffie, he made this weird squeaking noise and crept away slowly like he didn't want her to notice his movements," Olette said. "It was kind of creepy. I bet he locked himself in the bathroom."

"Let's go get him," Yuffie said eagerly.

"Let's not," Kairi said, pushing Yuffie into a chair. "You stay there. Kid's obviously afraid of you, so it would be best if you left him alone. I will go get him."

When Kairi reached the bathroom she gently tapped on the door. "Vivi? Are you in there? It's Kairi, your buddy."

"You're not my buddy," he called back through the door.

"I thought we were friends. What happened?"

"You let that devil in here."

"Devil? Why is Yuffie a devil?" Kairi wisely decided not to mention that she was sleeping with that 'devil.' She didn't think that would win her any brownie points with Vivi.

"I only finally just stopped having nightmares about her."

"You were having nightmares about Yuffie? What did she do to you?"

"I-I used to fix computers. I like computers because they're really simple to understand and they never yell at me. One day that girl came in and demanded I fix this broken laptop. She shook me and threatened my life and limb if I didn't get it fixed in just a couple of days, despite the fact she completely crushed half of it."

'_When did she do this?'_ Kairi tought, feeling vaguely horrified. She didn't really think Yuffie would ever hurt a kid—Yuffie wasn't a bully—but it disturbed her that Vivi was so shaken from just seeing Yuffie again.

"Then, to add insult to injury, she got every single technical term she mentioned wrong. Google chomps don't exist!" he wailed.

"Why don't you come out of the bathroom, Vivi?" Kairi asked kindly. "I'll make Yuffie apologize, I'm certain she didn't mean to scare you."

"She's your friend; as soon as I'm out there you'll take her side."

"Yuffie is a lot of things to me, but I don't blindly take her side," Kairi said, before sheepishly adding, "Actually, I should probably take her side more than I do."

Vivi opened the door. He anxiously peered out from behind the door. When he didn't see Yuffie, he stepped out. Kairi took his hand and they walked back to the others.

"Yuf," Kairi said, getting her girlfriend's attention. "A while back you terrorized poor Vivi when he was a computer repairman. You probably didn't even realize you were doing it and certainly don't remember, but you did scare him. It probably derived from the fact that you're more touchy feely than most people, but…"

"I gotcha," Yuffie said. "Vivi, I'm really sorry for scaring ya, buddy ole pal, can ya forgive me?" She got up to give him a hug, but Kairi stopped her.

"I think it would be best if you held off on the physical," Kairi said.

"Right." Yuffie latched onto Kairi, but still stared earnestly at Vivi.

"I-I guess I can forgive you," Vivi said. "But you have to keep at least three feet away from me at all times and no talking about computers."

"I bet Yuffie can handle those terms," Olette said, clapping her hands together, "especially if you feed her, right Yuf?"

Yuffie nodded vigorously. Vivi visibly relaxed, but he also put the counter between himself and the ninja. Kairi checked her watch and winced. It was later than she had thought.

"Yuffie and I have to go," she said. "We have dinner reservation with friends, and since they hired a sitter, we have to be on time otherwise they'll get stuck having to pay extra."

"Then go by all means," Olette said, "bye guys."

"Bye," Vivi echoed.

The girls made their own farewells then left. As they made their way down the sidewalk, Yuffie asked Kairi if they could spend the night at the Leonharts' place.

"Do you want to wake up at least four times to a baby's screams?" Kairi asked dryly. "Besides, Leon got home the same night you did; I think Aeris wants to have more than one night alone with her husband before entertaining guests. I think we should focus more on finding another place to live."

"I guess you're right," Yuffie sighed. They walked a little farther before Yuffie suddenly stopped, grabbed her forehead, and bellowed. "I've got to see Axel's ugly mug again tomorrow morning! Why are you so cruel to me, God? Why?"

"We all have to make sacrifices, Yuf," Kairi laughed, patting Yuffie's shoulder. "We all have to make sacrifices. On the plus side, you'll see my face first thing in the morning."

"Oh yeah," Yuffie said, starting to grin. "I had forgotten about that."

"Idiot."

"But you love me."

"Yeah, although I can't fathom why."

Yuffie just sniggered as she wrapped her arms around Kairi's waist. She lightly tickled Kairi's sides. Then a clock ran, reminding Kairi of the time. The girls ran hand in hand, hoping to catch the next trolley.

* * *

Yes, chapter 17 is finished. Again, I'm sorry if this wasn't as great as what you were expecting. It's not Kong's fault, it's mine because I'm a crappy editor and I guess I'm rushing a little because I wanted to get this to you all. Reviews are nice, I love reviews and I will still respond to them even if I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment (it'll probably take a little longer than it normally does to respond). Reviews are also a great way to point out that I've made blunders in the chapter (which is more likely this chapter than some of the past ones) and I will correct the errors you point out. As I've said in the past, if something doesn't make sense or if you have questions concerning OA, send them to me and I'll answer them. I know, the notes are long and boring, but all I've got left to say is thank your for taking the time to read chapter 17.


	18. This New Apartment

MC: Two years ago to this very day, around seven pm, I posted the first chapter of Ordinary Adventures here at this site. It was my first fic, I had opened my account three days prior just to post that chapter. I promised myself that I'd keep posting the story until it was no longer fun and that it could start or stop at any point. Since then I've posted eighteen chapters of this fic (can you actually believe this is chapter 18?) and seven other stories (all much shorter than this one). Just sort of amazing how much has happened in two years. Well, now that I've babbled on for ages about things no one cares about, I'll let you go and read chapter 18!

DISCLAIMER: Square Enix and Disney collectively own the characters and original story my story is based on. My characterization is a pale version of the originals and I am making no money off of this story, just happiness.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 18: This New Apartment**

Yuffie crawled out of bed and carefully stalked off to the bathroom. She moved carefully, taking short, almost hopping, steps in hopes of not wetting herself. She didn't know if she was holding back blood or urine, but in either case she needed a toilet pretty damn fast.

When she reached the bathroom, Yuffie found the door shut. She jiggled the handle. Locked. So, she did the only logical thing possible.

"Open up, open up, open up!" she demanded, banging on the door. "If this door doesn't open up real quick, I'm gonna make a terrible mess on the carpet!"

Her fist suddenly hit chest, wet chest to be precise. Yuffie hit the chest twice before her brain sent a message along the nerves to stop the pounding. Cloud Strife glared disapprovingly down at her. He didn't seem nearly as threatening as normal though, probably because his hair was weighed down by water and shampoo. He reminded Yuffie of a drowned rat.

"Excellent Cloudo," she said, pushing her way into the bathroom. She slammed the door on the lawyer and locked it.

"I wasn't finished!" Cloud bellowed, beginning to bang on the door.

"Keep your towel on, Cloudster, I'll only be a minute."

Ten minutes later Yuffie emerged. She didn't feel better than before, but at least she had averted any accident. "You know you left the shower on, Strife?" she asked.

"I know," he said icily.

"Got any pain pills?" Yuffie asked.

Cloud slammed the door shut. An audible click was heard as he locked it. Yuffie stuck her hands on her hips and glared at the door as she shook her head.

"Some people are just the rudest," she said.

When Yuffie climbed back into bed she woke up Kairi. There were a few moments of incoherence before Kairi asked, "What's up?"

"Cloud's being a dick. Got any painkillers?"

"Outer pocket on my bag. And, you know Strife has a decent excuse for being… rude. We have been living in his house for the last two months."

"Well, we'd move out if we could," Yuffie said defensively, pulling a few pills out of the bottle. "We haven't been able to find a place."

That was true. Since the explosion by their old home—which was caused by an underground moomba colony's accidental detonation of old stolen Shrina explosives—had destroyed an entire block's worth of apartment buildings, there was a serious housing shortage in Twilight Town. While it was true Yuffie hadn't been looking that terribly hard, there didn't seem to be any places on the market. At least none that would take chocobos and there was no way the girls could ever leave their baby behind.

"At the rate things are going, I'm going to have to move into the dorms this year," Kairi sighed.

"Wait, what?"

"I signed up for university housing right after we lost our old apartment in case we couldn't get a place in time. I found one dorm that allows pets, which I was accepted into."

"But what about me?" Yuffie asked.

"You could probably visit me quite a bit and I'll visit you. You're gone half the time anyway and when you are here, it's usually only for a week or two, so you could stay with me, Two-K, Tifa, or Leon and Aeris."

"But-but babe," Yuffie whined.

"Yuf, school starts in a week and I can't stay here. If there were any other options, I'd pick them, but there aren't. We'll just have to get over living apart together."

'_This can't be happening,'_ Yuffie thought, horrified. _'When people get closer in a relationship they don't move further apart.'_

Kairi groaned as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. "I guess I should get up."

"Why?"

"I have to get up in twenty minutes anyway, so there's no point in trying to fall back asleep. Besides, I may as well make certain Strife doesn't come in and murder you. I could hear screaming."

"Kairi."

"It's just another morning, Yuf, don't sweat it."

"But Kairi, it's not the same."

"Yuf, find us an apartment that's close to my school and work that also takes chibi chocobos. If you can find that, then we could live together. Otherwise, Yunie and I are staying in the dorms." Kairi kissed her. "Even if you do find a place, Yuffie, I'm still in the dorms until first semester is over. That's already paid for."

She grabbed a few items then left the room. With a groan Yuffie fell back onto the bed. Even if she found a place, she'd still be losing Kairi for five to nine months. She wasn't going to be coming home to bird or girlfriend anytime soon.

'_This sucks, this really sucks,'_ she thought.

Technically she'd be gone for most of the time Kairi would be in the dorm. There was roughly a month of time spread out over the first semester that Yuffie wouldn't be on tour or dealing with publically. She could easily stay with Kairi, friends, or live in a hotel during the down times. In fact, she didn't even need to visit Twilight Town in the middle of her season, which never really ended.

Except Kairi was in Twilight. In just a couple of years that redhead had become so incredibly important to Yuffie the surfer wouldn't know what to do if she ever left her. Kairi was her rock, her unmovable unchangeable object in Yuffie's constantly changing, vastly unstable life. She needed a place to come home to and that place was Kairi.

"Who can I steal an apartment from?" Yuffie asked before falling asleep again.

Yuffie crawled out of bed mid afternoon. She made it into the kitchen and began hunting for coffee. There was a chocobo in the coffee pot.

"Does Link know you sleep in that coffee pot?" she asked.

"Yes I do and no he shouldn't be in there," Link said, hurrying over to the sink and turned on the water on. The black chocobo squawked wildly and crawled out of the coffee pot. Link washed it out.

"I've told you before, Zack, you can't sleep in Cloud's coffee pot. That's unsanitary. He'll pluck you if he catches you in it and I'm not happy having to constantly clean this pot." Link admonished the bird.

"What are you doing here?" Yuffie asked.

"Oh, today's the first day of my part time work at the University Hospital. Starting next Wednesday I'll be in lecture right now."

"Okay…"

Link took a towel to the bird and quickly ruffled his feathers. "So what's up?"

"I need to find an apartment in a week."

"Impossible. If Kairi couldn't find one in two months, you certainly can't find one in a week."

"It may be impossible for a midget like you, but I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie!"

"Is that anyway to talk to your host?" he asked mildly.

"Sorry Link," Yuffie mumbled, "I just don't want Kairi to move into a dorm on me."

"She taking Yuna?"

Yuffie nodded glumly. She didn't like thinking about the coming loss of family.

"Then I suppose I'll have to help," Link said, rolling up his sleeves.

"Excuse me?"

"I'll help you find an apartment." He raised an eyebrow. "That is what you want, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, of course, but why are you helping?"

"Families need to stick together," he said simply. "I'm not letting Yuna lose a parent because of a little housing problem."

"Thanks Link, that's really awesome of you."

"Think of me as Yuna's fairy godfather."

"You got the fairy part right."

"Hey!"

**xxx**

They weren't having much luck. Over the past five days Yuffie had searched high and low for a new apartment. Link had done his best to point Yuffie in the direction of promising housing, but Yuffie was the one who had to check them out. Her options were bleak; all the apartments were anti-gay, anti-pets or so far away that they were practically in the Pride Lands.

'_It isn't fair,'_ she thought. _'I didn't even cause our apartment to blow up and yet I'm the one suffering so badly because of it.'_

Yuffie pulled out the map Link had given her. She had Xed off all the apartments he had circled because they didn't work. Now all she was left with was a sea of Xs. It would have looked pretty if it hadn't meant she no longer had any options.

"Where can I find a decent apartment?" Yuffie wondered out loud.

"You're looking for an apartment?"

Yuffie looked up. A woman in tight black leather was staring at her. She would have thought her attractive, but the bright red eyes really bothered her.

"Yeah, I need on that takes pets."

"What type? We don't do dogs, too much property damage."

"Chibi-chocobo, she's house trained."

"That'll do." The woman pulled out a square of paper and scrawled something on it. "Here's my number and the address. I'm on my way to work right now, but I can show you around the place as soon as tomorrow if you like."

"Can I bring my… friend?" Yuffie asked. After all the queer bashers she had dealt with that day, she didn't want to specify what exactly Kairi was to her. If they got into a fight over homosexuality on the crowded train, she would be at a disadvantage, since her fighting style needed some space.

The woman smirked. "Thought as much. Sure, bring her along. Shame that you're taken, though."

"How did you…?" Yuffie trailed off.

"I have an excellent gaydar," she said, tapping her temple. "Plus, you're a very famous athlete, Ms. Kisaragi. Especially in the bar scene."

"Who's passing that rubbish around?" Yuffie demanded, hitting her first against a metal pole of the trolley. "The only bar I've been to in ages is Seventh Heaven and that's because Tifa would kill me if I went to a competitor!"

The woman looked startled. Her eyes widened and she took a step back at Yuffie's outburst. "I meant on the telly," she said. "We watch all your televised meets at the sports bar I hang out at. Same with the gym."

"Oh, sorry," Yuffie laughed sheepishly. "I'm just a teeny bit stressed. Kairi and I have been living at friends' places since our apartment blew up. That was more than two months ago."

"It's all right, she said, slurring the first part of the sentence together. She handed Yuffie the paper square. One of her skull rings nicked Yuffie's paw. Then the trolley stopped and then woman headed toward the exit.

"Wait a minute," Yuffie called, hurrying after her. "Who are you?"

She looked up in surprise as she stepped off the trolley. "Paine, Paine Mathews," she said. Then the trolley pulled away.

'_Hot dog,'_ Yuffie thought, grinning_, 'I've got another apartment!'_

**xxx**

"Are you certain this is the address?" Kairi asked.

"Course I'm sure," Yuffie scoffed, waving the square of paper. "418 East Oathkeeper." She gestured at the dilapidated building. "That's 418 East Oathkeeper, alright."

"Yuffie."

"Yes?"

"That's 418 _West_ Oathkeeper."

"Oh."

An hour's walk got them to the correct building. During the walk however, Kairi ran out of good spirits. The redhead made it very clear to Yuffie that if ninja had led her on a wild goose chase, Yuffie wouldn't be sleeping on the couch, but rather a patch of cement in Link's garden.

Yuffie made a mental note to not accidently stick Kairi's walking shoes through a blender right before taking her apartment hunting next time. Upon closer analysis of the morning, she added 'make sure to lock bedroom when staying in other people's houses' onto the list. Kairi had shrieked very loudly when Cloud came into the room at an inopportune moment.

Yuffie found Paine's name next to one of the buttons. She buzzed it quickly and got an almost immediate response.

"Hello?" Paine's voice buzzed through the intercom, distorted, but Yuffie could still tell it was her.

"Hey, it's Yuffie, Yuffie Kisaragi; you offered me an apartment on the trolley."

"Right, I'll come meet you in the lobby. Did you bring the bird?"

"No," Yuffie said, wrinkling her brow. _'Why would I bring Yunie?'_

"I think she means me," Kairi whispered.

"Oh," Yuffie said. She added, pressing down the intercom, "But I brought Kairi with me."

"Righto," Paine replied, then the intercom beeped and the doors loudly clicked, signaling that they were unlocked.

Yanking the door open, Yuffie asked, "Why did she call you a bird?"

"It's British slang," Kairi explained.

"I don't think Paine's British."

"She can still use their slang."

"But that's weird. She should use our slang."

"Link's… foreign and he uses our slang."

"But that's different, since it's funny hearing his little accent and he's using our slang in our country, so it's okay. Foreign slang in our country when you're not foreign isn't cool."

Kairi didn't have a response to that. Instead she just rolled her eyes and walked past Yuffie to inspect the lobby. Paine entered the lobby shortly thereafter.

"Thank you for coming out to see the apartment," she said, first shaking hands with Kairi, then Yuffie.

"Is there any reason in particular you offered this apartment to Yuffie on the trolley?" Kairi asked, getting down to business.

"I'm the super for this building and the last repairs from the last tenants were completed just three days ago," Paine said. "When I overheard that Yuffie needed an apartment, I thought I would offer it to her in hopes of saving on advertising."

"Makes sense." Kairi nodded. "Ready to take a look at it, Yuf?"

Yuffie snapped out of tracing the patterns on the wallpaper. "Yep."

They took the stairs up to the top. Yuffie's legs were burning slightly by the time they got to the top, which made her know that Kairi was really feeling the climb. Paine seemed unaffected. Yuffie knew that if they moved in, there was no way Kairi would ever allow herself to take the stairs.

The hallway was extremely small and only had two doors besides the elevator. Paine opened the door on the right. Someone gasped, Yuffie wasn't certain if it was her or Kairi, but the apartment was gasp-worthy.

The first thing Yuffie noticed was that the far wall was all windows. Between two doors on the left a ladder leading up to an open area. To the right there was a kitchen with a nice wooden counter and several barstools. Otherwise there wasn't any furniture in the room.

"Because when you step inside," Paine said as Kairi walked into the apartment, "the floor sinks down a few steps about three feet in. My understanding is that the developer wanted a sunken living room."

"This has skylights," Kairi said, staring up at the ceiling.

Yuffie looked up too. There were several windows scattered across the sloping ceiling and a few bars of adjustable spotlights. She thought it was fascinating the way the ceiling sloped down at such a sharp angle that the ceiling was only a single story high over the upper area and the kitchen. The ceiling over the living room was massive, though.

"That is fricking awesome," Yuffie said, laughing.

"How may bedrooms?" Kairi asked.

"One large bedroom, fourteen by sixteen feet with a balcony," Paine said.

"Bathrooms?"

"One full and a half bathroom that includes a jacuzzi. It also has a nice pattern."

"Storage space?"

"A main storage closet is by the front door," Paine said, pointing to the door by the kitchen, "two, albeit small, walk in closets are in the bedroom and there is a closet in the bathroom. There is also lots of cabinet space in the kitchen and bathroom, but no pantry."

"That's less storage space than our old place and we'll be losing a bedroom," Kairi said, shaking her head.

"The loft up above is an amazing room and can be used as an office or a bedroom. I doubt your old place had one of those and people tend to undervalue a loft."

Yuffie climbed up the iron ladder bolted to the wall into the loft. The half room had a wall around the perimeter and a wooden gate that could be shut in front of the ladder. Yuffie looked over the half wall to the right of the ladder down into a **difficult** room below.

"Hey, I can see the balcony," she said.

"The bedroom ceiling isn't completely closed?" Kairi asked.

"The last three feet are uncovered as part of the architect's design," Paine said. "I personally think the design is pretty neat and I've never had problems with spacing issues."

"I take it you have a similar design?" Kairi said.

"I have the apartment across the hall. It's the mirror image of this apartment."

Yuffie climbed down from the loft and the girls looked in the bedroom. It was spacious and airy with light blue walls. Yuffie thought it looked tropical, which was a theme Kairi liked to convey in their bedroom. They checked the bathroom, which was also lovely, just like Paine had promised. Yuffie crawled into the tub, it could fit at least three people her size.

They regrouped in the living room. Kairi asked what the monthly rate would be. Paine told her. Yuffie whistled. Pain suggested that they look at the view on the balcony before coming to any decisions.

Kairi and Yuffie walked into the bedroom and out onto the balcony. Yuffie leaned on the railing and stared out at the skyline. Beyond the cityscape she could see the ocean. Directly below them was a large park. It wasn't evening, but in her mind's eye she could see the sun setting into the sea.

"We'll take it," she whispered.

**xxx**

Cloud couldn't stop smirking as he watched Yuffie smash clothing into her bag. He didn't do anything but lean against the doorway and look smug. It irked Yuffie. She tried ignoring it, but eventually she stopped working and glared at the blonde.

"What is your problem, Strife?" she demanded, glaring at him.

"No problem."

"Will you stop smirking and help me?"

"Sorry, Link and I promised not to touch any of your things after you moved in two months ago. I'd love to help, but I can't."

"Bastard."

"Sorry again, my parents were married by the time I came along."

"You are way too happy about this," Yuffie said, waggling her finger in his face. 'That isn't healthy."

"What can I say," Cloud laughed. "After two months of home invasion I'm getting my house back. There's a reason I'm gay, I was never meant to live with women."

"Sucks to be you, women are awesome."

"I can have sex with Link again anytime I want. Anywhere I want. This is the happiest moment I've had in months, no years. You couldn't have thought of a better belated birthday present, Kisaragi."

"Get off your high horse and help carry this stuff out before I kick your ass."

"You couldn't kick my ass when we were kids and you certainly can't kick it now."

Yuffie grinned; it was rare Cloud referred to their shared childhood. She was pretty certain that was the real reason why Link offered them their spare bedroom, Cloud couldn't forget he had trained under Godo Kisaragi and he certainly couldn't forget his daughter. Especially when said daughter was sleeping with his secretary. Cloud helped her pack.

"You're gonna miss us after we're gone, Strife," she said.

"How so?" I see Kairi and Yuna almost everyday at work. If it wasn't well known that I was madly in love with Link, they'd think we were having an affair."

"No way, Kairi never would."

"No, she wouldn't and I never would, but it is a well known stereotype that secretaries sleep with their bosses."

"Well it's a stupid stereotype."

"It is, but people like believing stupid things."

"Where is Kairi right now anyway?"

"She's out back with Link. He's giving her a few choice samples from his garden; brighten up the new place or something like that. You two certain you have enough furniture for this apartment?"

"Oh sure, I snuck into the apartment a while back and removed all of our old furniture and shoved it into a storage unit. We'll be moving it all in soonish."

Cloud nodded. They walked out into the backyard and sat down on the back stoop. Kairi held a small plant and Link was fingering the leaves as he explained something. Yuffie watched with her chin on her hand as they talked. Kairi seemed happy as she laughed at some gardening joke. She looked so natural talking to Link.

'_God I am so lucky to have her,'_ Yuffie thought grinning faintly.

Suddenly the redhead looked up and smiled at her. Yuffie grinned back and waved wildly. Link just laughed at their behavior, but Cloud snorted.

"You two are sappy," he said. "I can't believe I've managed to deal with you two for several months."

"Right, I tend to forget that you don't have a single romantic bone in your body," Link said dryly. "After all, there's absolutely nothing romantic about you camping outside of my bedroom window for a week when you thought I was mad at you. Or that you've never forgotten a single date and always make our anniversaries magical. And of course, an unromantic man would _never_ fly half way around the world to a foreign country where he couldn't speak a word of the language to find a man—who he didn't have an address for and couldn't even properly spell his last name—just to propose."

Cloud was bright red now. "You didn't accept."

"My foolish man," Link said, walking over to him. "I didn't know you liked me, much less that you were gay. Maybe I would have gotten a clue if you had stopped sleeping with random women at parties."

"Maybe I wouldn't have if I hadn't thought you were sleeping with Mar—"

Link jerked Cloud's tie sharply. "Dearest, if you even think of finishing that name you will be in a world of pain." He looked over his shoulder at Yuffie. "Ladies, this is incredibly rude of me, but I think it might be time for you to leave."

They didn't stick around to argue. Yuffie had never expected to see such an expression on Link's mild mannered little boy face. She just hoped the neighbors wouldn't call the cops and get them charged with indecent exposure.

When they reached the apartment Kairi set Yuna down on the wood floors. The bird took a few hesitant steps, looked back at Kairi, then ran off to explore the apartment. A couple minutes later Yuna came back looking very dignified.

"What do you think?" Kairi asked. Yuna warked at her, which made the girl laugh in delight.

"So, I brought lots of blankets and I thought we'd camp out in the living room tonight, then tomorrow we could see about getting our furniture and actually move in—move in," Yuffie said.

"Our furniture?" Kairi asked.

"I liberated it from the old place a while back."

"You could have broken your neck."

"Did you really want someone else getting it? There have been a ton of break-ins in our old neighborhood since we left. The security guard they hired isn't worth shit. Old coot never even woke up when I accidently dropped the couch down two flights of stairs."

"Yuffie, you're insane."

"Hey, I stuck everything from our apartment in a storage unit. That includes a hula dancing dog and an empty toaster box from my closet. Why do I have an empty toaster box in my closet? Did I ever even buy a toaster?"

Kairi just shook her head. "Forget the toaster box. Thank you for getting all of our things. We'll move into the dorm on Sunday."

Yuffie's ecstasy died. "I thought if I found a place in a week you'd live with me."

"If we also found a person to take my dorm room too."

"That wasn't part of the deal."

Kairi stared at Yuffie.

"I upheld my end of the bargain." Yuffie stared back.

Yuffie kept staring. Eventually Kairi rolled her eyes and looked away. Yuffie continued to stare. With a sigh the redhead picked up her phone. The ninja smirked as she hid her glee.

"Hey Olette?" Kairi said into the phone. "Were you still looking for a place to stay?"

* * *

That's the end of chapter 18. I hoped you enjoyed it. You can leave a review, or… since I feel that this chapter wasn't quite as fun and exciting as it should be for a two year anniversary, I've included something I've never included before; a bonus short! You can read that.

**

* * *

BONUS: A Day in the Life of a Chocobo**

The calamity didn't start before sunrise. That meant Mommy was sleeping in today. Yuna snuggled back into the crook of flesh she was nestled against. She loved the mornings that Mommy slept in.

Mommy didn't wake up until the sun had invaded the apartment. Even after she woke up, she lazed about in bed with Yuna. They cuddled together without talking; Mommy preened Yuna, pulling out loose feathers and shaking out any dirt stock on her. Yuna loved the attention the preening gave and the fingers felt great.

Eventually Mommy and Yuna would get out of bed. Mommy would pull on her fuzzy bathrobe and carry Yuna into the kitchen. Yuna would sit on the counter as Mommy made breakfast. Mommy turned on her whirring machines and pulled food out of the big white light-filled box. Yuna was always served first while the machines were still noisy. They would eventually stop and Mommy would sit down next to her with her own plate of food and her mug of coffee.

Yuna always finished eating first. She'd politely wait for Mommy to finish. Sometimes Mommy would give her bits of bacon. Yuna would always want to try the coffee, but Mommy never let her.

After breakfast Mommy went to the upper area. Yuna hated the upper area. She couldn't get up there on her own. At least at Daddy's place the stairs were climbable; Vincent and Zack could easily go up and down all the time. Yuffie had set up a basket so that Yuna could be raised up to the upper area, but she disliked having to rely on someone else to keep her close to Mommy.

Mommy would work on papers for a long time. She was always buried in books and papers. Yuna never understood why she loved paper so much; it was boring, but Mommy loved them and that was enough for Yuna.

Finally Mommy decided she was done with the papers. She packed up thicker paper and her wood planks. She carried them down the ladder to the apartment. Yuna raced around warking frantically, fearing to be left behind. Mommy came back and got her down.

They went to the park. Mommy carried the papers in the bag she sometimes brought to the park. She carried the boards in her arms. Yuna waddled beside her and easily kept up despite the fact Mommy's legs were much longer than hers. Chocobos were fast and they didn't tire easily.

Once at the park they found the grassy knoll Mommy liked. Mommy set up the planks of wood so that they stood up and converged at a point where Mommy stuck the paper she had brought along. Mommy liked to sit with her planks and paper and brush her sticks against it. The first sticks she used left black or gray marks, but the later ones left brilliant colors.

Yuna left Mommy to her playing to go chase squirrels. She chased quite a few of them up trees and even managed to herd most of them up the same tree. Eventually though she got bored with the squirrels and switched to collecting shiny stones. Shiny stones were very beautiful and eye catching, the perfect gift. Yuna bought a small pile's worth of rocks to Mommy.

When she saw them, she stopped her brushing and admired them. Yuna felt very prideful as Mommy oohed and aahed over each stone. Then Yuna got a nut treat and was sent on her way.

Yuna found a dog and a couple other chocobos. She recognized one of the birds, but the rest were new to her. The four of them played until sunset when Mommy called for her, it was almost too dark to see. They went home.

Mommy made them dinner and they ate watching the talking moving picture box. Yuna didn't understand why the little people lived in the box and never left it. She also didn't understand how they could all fit or why they could instantly change shape, but since they didn't worry Mommy, they didn't worry her. In fact, they tended to make Mommy smile and Yuffie laugh. For that Yuna loved the box. Tonight they had funny accents.

Late that evening a ringing resounded. Yuna recognized that ring, it was the little blue box that Mommy carried and sometimes it rang just like it. Mommy quickly pulled out the blue box and started talking into it.

Yuna could hear Yuffie, but she couldn't see her. This wasn't the first time this had occurred, but it always left Yuna feeling disconcerted that she couldn't figure out where Yuffie had gone. Her disappearances always made Mommy said, so the joke of being there, but not really there was cruel.

Mommy had stopped talking to the blue box and was now sad. She picked up Yuna and carried her off to bed. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. Yuna cuddled up to the human she loved most in the world. They had a good day, a fun day, yet Mommy still went to bed sad.

Yuna wished Yuffie was there. The girl was loud and annoying, but incredibly fun to chase and devoted to Mommy. Mommy loved Yuffie. And at the moment, that was all that mattered.

Late late that evening Yuna woke up when the bed shook. She looked around and found Yuffie climbing into bed. Yuna gave her a light peck on the forehead, but otherwise left her alone. She wouldn't harangue Yuffie for coming home so late and waking her up, not when Yuna could imagine Mommy's smile when she found Yuffie in bed the next morning.

Scratch that last thought; Yuna's day hadn't been a good day, it had been an excellent day.

* * *

This is the real end of the chapter. If you would all be so kind as to leave a review, that would be great. I really appreciate them and I reply to everyone I have contact info with. Plus, they make really good anniversary gifts, come on, I know you wanna celebrate Ordinary Adventures' second anniversary (or you could call it birthday), especially when it's so easy to do. Anyways, thanks for reading!


	19. Lemurs in a Hurricane

MC: I would first like to apologize for how long this chapter took to put up. I actually managed to get this written before February, but since I currently have no decent editor, or beta if you prefer, to go over my work (and I'm terrible at correcting my own fiction) and it's taken more than two weeks for it to finally be posted. Hopefully this chapter is decent enough to make up for the delay. At least I've already started planning out the next chapter? Well, go ahead and read the chapter!

DISCLAIMER: The entity known as "Metal Chocobo" does not own nor lay any claim to Kingdom Hearts or the characters/places appearing in this chapter. They belong to Square Enix. Metal Chocobo simply wishes to write about the characters and find some time to play Chain of Memories.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 19: Lemurs in a Hurricane**

"I can't believe you actually agreed to come!"

"How could I refuse? This is the first time I've been warm all winter," Kairi said laughing as Yuffie bounced excitedly. "Why do we live in a cold city?"

"Because your school is there and you've got a steady job with the sourpuss."

"Cloud isn't that bad. You have to remember he gave me time off even though you only gave me three days notice before I had to fly out here."

Yuffie stopped flittering about and looked at her girlfriend. "That is a little surprising. How'd you get it, threaten to dye his hair blue?"

"He told me that technically he didn't need me and he was excited at the chance to have the office completely quiet for a few days. You know he can't simply come out and say I should go and have fun, so he did his best."

"Of course he needs you, you do your job amazingly and he's going to be out one amazing secretary when you become a lawyer," Yuffie squawked. Clearly she hadn't caught the last of what Kairi had said.

"Technically, Strife doesn't need me as a secretary because he's better at it than I am," Kairi said. "His files from before he hired me are completely pristine. I mean, they are amazing, and while I don't make many mistakes, I have yet to find any clerical flaws in his work."

"Then, why did he hire you?" Yuffie asked, suddenly feeling confused.

"Simple economics. While Cloud is a better secretary than I am, he is also a lawyer and can earn a lot more money being a lawyer than a secretary. So he hires me to do all the cheaper clerical work, freeing up more of his time to be a lawyer and earn more money. Despite the fact he has to pay me, I am a much cheaper cost than losing out on all the potential money he makes spending his time as a lawyer."

"Huh?" Yuffie tilted her head to the side. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch a word you just said. The birds distracted me." She gestured at the parrots sitting on top of the station roof.

Kairi sighed and silently counted to ten. She hated it when Yuffie tuned her out while she was explaining something. "You hire Leon to take care of all the little stuff, like finding surfing competitions and booking hotels, so that you can focus on surfing and appearing at publicity events because it is much cheaper than doing it all yourself. I'm Cloud's Leon."

"Gotcha!" Yuffie said happily. "You always know how to explain things."

"So where are we off to?" Kairi asked as they strolled along Main Street.

Just a few minutes ago Kairi had arrived in the town by shoopuf. Yuffie was excitedly waiting for her to get off the ship. In fact, when the redhead finally stood on dry land, she was practically mauled by her girlfriend as if they hadn't seen each other in months. It had only been three weeks.

"Our hotel," Yuffie said, "Actually, it's more of a beach cabin villa thingy. Leon, Two-K, and I all have separate rooms cause it's basically a house."

"Excellent, I'm happy I only have to share with one person."

"It's even better that it's me."

"Yeah," Kairi said, grinning. "So what's the game plan?"

"I've got a meet tomorrow, it's just a small one for locals, but for once I'll be judging the surfers instead of being one. It's kinda exciting since I've never been a judge before. After that we'll have a couple of days to ourselves before I'm scheduled to be in Besaid for another competition."

"Perfect. A couple of days off with you are just what I need."

It took less than twenty minutes for Yuffie to lead them from the shoopuf station to the villa. As they walked, many of the locals greeted Yuffie familiarly and the surfer even had to stop a few times to chat. Kairi was amazed by how well she had integrated into the town; Yuffie had only arrived yesterday morning.

When they arrived at the villa, Yuffie quickly gave Kairi a tour. The villa had three bedrooms, but little else. There was a small bathroom and a kitchen connected to a minute living area. Clearly the villa was meant to be inhabited for only a few days at a time. At least the view of the ocean was magnificent. Kairi loved the view from the master bedroom and was pleasantly surprised to hear that was their room.

"Leon and Two-K had to admit it made the most sense for me to get it, since you were coming and you'd be here for most of our time here," Yuffie explained proudly. "I'm so proud that I was able to use logic against Leon. I never beat Squallykins with logic! You should be proud of me too, babe."

"I am," Kairi said, still looking out the window. "Hey, what's that island out there in the distance?"

Yuffie looked out the window too. "Ah, I think the locals call it "Deep Forest." They said to avoid it because there's endangered lemurs and a curse on it."

"Endangered lemurs?"

"Maybe it was lemmings."

"Kairi, you're here," Rikku said suddenly.

Kairi jumped. She hadn't heard Rikku come in. "When did you get here?"

"Just came in. Leon's been talking with the mayor about tomorrow's event. There's some worry about a tropical storm messing up tomorrow."

"Seriously?" Yuffie said. "I didn't sign on for a hurricane."

"Rikku, are we worried about a tropical storm or a hurricane?" Kairi asked.

"Storm, they definitely said storm."

"Then no worries," Kairi laughed. Then, drawing on her background as a tropical islander she explained, "We're not in the rainy season, so a storm shouldn't last more than a day in these parts. Tropical storms also have much slower winds and cause little damage. If it comes tomorrow, we just reschedule for the next day or the day after that. This would be a completely different matter if it were a hurricane."

"What happens if it morphs into a hurricane?" Yuffie asked.

"We're screwed," Kairi said cheerfully, "I doubt this house can stand level 3 winds and hurricanes can get a lot worse than that. A level 5 hurricane once hit Kilika, an island close to Destiny Islands. Almost obliterated it entirely. A lot of people died."

"How bad is a level 3 hurricane?" Rikku asked nervously.

"Roughly 120 miles per hour wind. A level five has wind over 150 miles per hour."

"Can we avoid the hurricanes?" Yuffie asked.

"You guys shouldn't worry," Kairi said, "if the tropical storm is close enough that they're worried it will hit tomorrow, it doesn't have time to morph into a huge hurricane. As long as we aren't in the water when it hits we should be fine."

"I hope you're right," Rikku said dubiously. "Well, I should probably let you unpack. Yuffie never does, but then again, you're a lady."

"I am so a lady," Yuffie squawked. "Putting clothing in drawers instead of leaving it in the suitcase when you're only staying for a day or two has no bearing on the fact!"

"I said lady, not female," Rikku said. Yuffie threw a shoe, which Rikku narrowly dodged. "See, what did I say, Kairi?"

With a roar, Yuffie chased her best friend out of the bedroom wielding a surfboard leash. They ran screaming and laughing through the house before Rikku bolted out the backdoor onto the beach. Yuffie madly dashed after her. Kairi watched until they had gone off the beach into shoulder high waves and Yuffie stopped swinging the leash. Shaking her head, Kairi began to put her clothing in the dresser.

**xxx**

"The third annual surfing competition will shortly commence," the mayor announced. "Our judges this year are the great surfer Yuffie Kisaragi, last year's champion—who sadly had to retire after a knee injury involving grapes—and myself."

Kairi wriggled in her seat. As usual, the politician talked on and on for far too long while the seating was far too hard. She did not understand why that was the case, as it always happened to be, but at least she was in good company this time. To her right sat Rikku and Leon sat to her left. Both were surfing fans, but neither would let her suffer if she became bored or confused.

'_Although the sport is a little too simple to get confused about,'_ she thought.

From what Kairi could gather, the competition focused on skill and moves instead of speed or endurance. Yuffie and the others would give out points based upon what moves were performed, how well they performed them, and the innate difficulty of the technique.

There was a little more dickering around before the competition started. The mayor had to blather on about the history of the event, the town's founding, and even why he was the best person to be mayor before the contestants could start.

Finally though the contest began. Each person had five minutes to perform on the waves then the judges had a minute to decide their score. None of the contestants had anywhere near the skill Yuffie had on the waves. In fact, most seemed to be neophytes. About a third of them fell of their boards before they could even catch a wave. The event lasted over four hours and Kairi was sick of it after twenty minutes. She liked watching Yuffie or Riku surf—it helped that she liked both of them and they were extremely talented—but on the whole she would rather surf herself than observe.

At least Yuffie was happy with the outcome. She, along with the other judges, extensively congratulated the winner and cheerfully gave pointers to the other surfers. Skill didn't really matter to Yuffie, as long as everyone was enjoying the waves and having fun she was happy. To Kairi this mentality seemed rather at odds with Yuffie's need to win, but she was pleased her girlfriend was being helpful instead of annoying to the locals. Yuffie was surprisingly good at acting as a hero.

The girls finally escaped the crowd shortly before sunset. Yuffie had spent the entire day judging, advising, praising, and telling stories about surfing, but never actually made it into the water. Kairi could tell the surfer was ready to smack the next adoring fan across the back of the head if they kept her from making it into the water, so she had them beat a hasty retreat from the party.

"God, I can't believe how long that took," Yuffie said as she carried her short board out of the villa. "I am never judging again."

"Don't be so hasty to judge," Kairi said, carrying Yuffie's 'funboard,' a longer and easier surfboard to use. "Even if it's a bore, judging is a good way to stay involved in professional surfing after you're no longer able to surf professionally."

"Let's just get in the waves!" Yuffie ran out into the water until the water was too high to easily run in, then climbed onto her board so that she could paddle out to the waves. Kairi followed at a slower pace.

The waves were higher than they had been that morning during the competition. In fact all of the water was moving much faster now than it was that morning. Since Kairi did not know the topography of the area, she could not explain why the surfing was so much better here.

At least the larger waves were pleasing Yuffie. She had made it up onto the top of a large wave and was sliding along the edge of the tip as the white foamy water crashed upon itself. She spun around like a cork along the breaking part, the white part of the wave, until the wave was completely spent.

Kairi had to clap. Her ability on the surf completely blew the so-called surfers of that morning out of the water. Yuffie could still duck and weave through the water like she was a creature born of the sea.

'_No, she's more like a part of the water itself,'_ Kairi thought as Yuffie rose up on another wave. _'She enters and exits the liquid so quickly and easily that I can still completely believe that she's some sort of water nymph.'_

Kairi was just floating along on top of the funboard. She hadn't tried to surf this evening, mainly because the waves were just a few feet too high for her comfort zone. Still, the rocking motion from the still large waves passing her by was extremely nice. Tomorrow, if the waves were more in the ten-foot range, she would surf.

Suddenly the waves seemed vicious. Despite the fact she was much closer to shore than Yuffie, Kairi was slammed with waves the size of the ones Yuffie had just been riding. A behemoth of a wave engulfed Kairi, separating her from the surfboard. If she weren't wearing her leash, Kairi would have lost the funboard and her only form of flotation. The waves knocked her, slapped her, and dunked her into the salty depths over and over again. Her eyes stung and her lungs burned. Yuffie was nowhere to be seen. The pleasant evening had turned into a turbulent storm.

The tempest was simply too powerful. This was in no shape or form a simple tropical storm. It was a deity's wrath at being spurned, a demon's fury unleashed, global warming at its worst. And it was here, turning Kairi into a rag doll to be thrown about and smashed to bits.

Kairi quickly realized that she was no match for the ocean's fury and trying to fight to reach land was a fool's dream. All the current wanted to do was suck her under to a watery grave. She could not stop it. Instead Kairi clung to the surfboard, her one chance at survival. The board was light, it was made to float, and it would keep her from being sucked under. If she could hold on. She clung tightly to that piece of fiberglass. Kairi fought to stay awake, but she was losing the battle; she was breathing too much water and not enough air.

She was not going to die here. She refused to die by drowning only a few feet from shore. She had too many hopes and dreams to end it here. She wanted to be a lawyer, to make the world a better place. She wanted to see her mom, and her dad, and Sora and Riku before she died. She wanted to see Yuna one last time. She wanted… Yuffie…

**xxx**

"Hang on little grommet, you're in no shape to do anything but chill out."

Kairi opened her eyes and immediately wished she hadn't. The light was far too bright and it only increased her splitting headache. "Where…" she trailed off.

"Kiddo, just keep sleeping, you've taken in way too much water and you're too banged up to do anything but rest. That was some storm you survived. Don't you know better than to mess with Mother Nature when she's on her period?"

Kairi managed to open her eyes again. She didn't bother to even try something as foolish as sitting up. She already knew that would simply bring her a world of pain. "Where am I?" she asked.

"In my pad," the man said.

The redhead finally focused on the speaker. He was an older man, as shown by his long black ponytail, which was streaked with grey and white, but he was still in excellent physical condition. He wore a tacky Hawaiian shirt and an eye patch. There was also a Yuffieesque grin on his face.

"Pleased you survived the storm, grommet," he said.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Xiggy," he said, pointing both thumbs at himself, "and you are in my pad on my island." A ring-tailed lemur leaped through the window and landed on Xiggy's shoulder. "And this is Luke, my wife." Luke nibbled on Xiggy's ear. "Not in front of company, Luke," Xiggy said disapprovingly, "She'll think you have no manners."

"You're married to a lemur?" Kairi asked, wondering if blood was pooling somewhere in her skull. This made no sense to her.

"Spiritually, yes. While I love Luke dearly, we have never been interested in physically consummating our marriage. I am godfather to the many children Luke had with Chewie. And R2D2. Luke has always had her pick of the lemur males, so she gets a bit full of herself at times."

"You've named all the lemurs after Star Wars characters?" Kairi asked, beginning to understand.

Before Xiggy could answer, another lemur leapt through the same window and attacked Luke. The lemurs ended up in a massive brawl on the floor. "Captain Kirk!" Xiggy screamed, pulling the lemurs apart, "You leave Luke along!" He then flung both lemurs out the window. "My apologies, they aren't very used to guests."

"Who are you and what are you doing with all these lemurs?" Kairi asked.

"I am Xigbar Braig and I am a soul surfer. I have been teaching these lemurs to surf for the last fifteen years," Xigbar explained, "but please call me Xiggy, I prefer it."

"Why are you teaching the lemurs to surf?"

"Because surfing is the key to happiness. Becoming one with the waves puts you in tune with nature and fixes all the wrongs in a person's life. Being a soul surfer, such as myself, means you surf every day, which makes it so you connect to the natural world and thereby find enlightenment. The lemur population here was in great decline, so I came here to put it back into flux with the world's natural energy. The best way to do this is by surfing."

"Have you had any success?"

"Oh yes, since I came and began teaching them to surf, the lemur population has tripled."

Kairi sat up. She was beginning to understand the situation. She was stuck somewhere with an insane, potentially dangerous, man who had saved her life and loved surfing and lemurs. He also probably loved science fiction if the lemur names were any indication.

"Why did you call me grommet?"

"Because you clearly are one. You're a padawan surfer, ya?"

"I'm not a novice, I'm just not very good."

"Ah, then I won't call you grommet then, little lady."

"My name is Kairi."

"My name is Xiggy."

"I know."

"Right then." Xigbar scratched the back of his head. "We really don't get that many people out here. How did you end up in that mondo storm?"

"I was near the main coast, by the Moonflow, when the sea suddenly started storming. I can't believe I didn't drown," Kairi said before falling silent. Then she asked, "How did you know I surfed?"

"When I found you, you were clinging to a surfboard. Clearly a grommet."

"Where is the surfboard?"

"On the beach with my boards. I stuck it there to keep the tide from getting it after I got you to safety. Wanna get it?" Before she could respond, Xigbar scooped her up into his arms and carried her out of his pad.

Kairi screamed when she saw what lay directly outside of his house. Forty-foot drops tended to cause that reaction in her. Looking back over Xigbar's shoulder showed Kairi that he lived in a tree house. It was an old decrepitated looking tree house, but a tree house all the same. Laughing at her fear, Xigbar leapt off the tree branch. After near heart failure, they landed on a rickety wood and rope bridge.

"You didn't think I was just leaping to the ground, did you?" Xigbar asked, chuckling. "I may be crazy, but I'm not suicidal."

He darted across the rope bridge faster than Kairi thought safe. Then when he reached a treetop, Xigbar started along another rope bridge. It appeared that he had an entire network of bridges across the entire jungle. In less time than expected, but still more than Kairi wanted to be carried in, Xigbar halted at the edge of the tree line. Below the leaf top she could see tree roots give way to a steep cliff and a rocky beach below that. It had to be a hundred foot drop.

"We're here," Xigbar announced. "The beach may not look like much here, but this is where the most righteous waves are. Other side of the island has a sandy bottom, but only lemur sized waves."

"So why couldn't we have gone there?"

"Your board's here and wiped out here. So, we're here."

Again Xigbar jumped off a tree branch, eliciting another scream from Kairi. This time he didn't land on a bridge, but rather caught hold of a vine and crashed into the tree trunk. Kairi's already abused noggin also hit the tree. She yelped in pain. Xigbar grunted in apology, but continued to bounce down the side of the tree. She hit the trunk a few more times on the descent, but at least she was able to protect her head.

"We're here!" Xigbar announced when he touched down on the beached.

"Thank Bahamut," Kairi mumbled, hitting the ground. She wasn't getting up until the world stopped spinning. If she didn't have a concussion before the trip to the beach, she probably had one now. _'I can't fall asleep until I get off this blasted rock and see a medic.'_

"Bahamut had nothing to do with it," Xigbar said, laughing. "I stuck your board in my beach shack. Just didn't want it to wash away or anything. Want me to go get it?"

"Sure." It would make him leave her alone for a few minutes, giving her a chance to collect herself.

She took several deep breaths and took assessment of her body. Her head throbbed hard enough that Kairi was certain she had a concussion, but nothing else felt that terrible. She had a few cuts and scraps, but nothing serious, no broken bones, so she could still move about. As soon as her head felt just slightly better, Kairi was getting off the island, even if she had to build a raft to leave.

"Here's you're board. I'm afraid that it's a little dinged up, but it should still ride the waves okay."

"Thanks," Kairi said, ruefully accepting the board. The funboard was more than just a little dinged up. If Yuffie wasn't going to kill her for getting lost at sea, she was going to kill her for wrecking the board. "Have you seen the other half?"

"I'd say you're only missing a fourth," Xigbar said, "but no I haven't. I would have salvaged that too and brought it back. I'm certain you could repair it though."

"It'll probably cost more than the board is worth."

"Not if it means enough to you. I take it this isn't your board?"

"No, my girlfriend's."

Xigbar's eyebrows raised but he said nothing. He took the board back and helped her to her feet. Kairi really needed the help.

"I take it you don't surf much, grommet."

"Not since I was a kid. Even then I wasn't that interested in surfing, I prefer swimming, but I learned how and it can sometimes be fun. This wasn't fun."

"No, you had a major wipe out, but at least you're alive; that is the important thing."

"True." Kairi stumbled as her vision grayed. The concussion was worse than she had previously assumed.

"Don't go passing out on me now. Kairi!"

The world went black.

**xxx**

The first thought Kairi had was_, 'Why is it that I keep passing out lately?'_ Her second was_, 'How much brain hemorrhaging has occurred? Am I permanently brain damaged? Please let me still be smarter than Yuffie.'_

"You now that wasn't very nice. I'm plenty smart and at least I can tell when I'm thinking out loud," Yuffie said confidently, before quietly adding "…most of the time."

"Yuffie?" Kairi asked.

"The one and only," she said. Kairi felt a hand on her forehead as the surfer gently asked, "Can you open your eyes, babe?"

"It hurts to think."

"No one could remember what medications you're allergic to, so I don't know if you were given any pain pills. They scanned your head and everything, but they wouldn't tell me the results because 'I'm not family.'" Yuffie made quotation marks with her fingers on the last part of the sentence. "I'm totally family. Oh, your mom's flying in as soon as the airport is up and running again. Turns out that tropical storm really did turn into a hurricane."

"What did they name it?"

"Hurricane Sin, kind of a weird name, eh? If an S-name was needed I would have gone with Seifer; that name just breeds trouble and that storm was totally out to get you." Yuffie paused. "Did I mention I'm glad you're not dead, yet? Because I really am glad."

"I'm glad too." Yuffie kissed her on the forehead, causing Kairi to smile weakly. "Now can you see about getting me some fucking pain pills?"

"Righto," Yuffie said, dashing out of the room.

"Hey, you okay?" Rikku asked as she entered the room. She took Yuffie's recently vacated seat. "We were all worried when you disappeared during the storm. As soon as it was over Yuffie even stole a boat and started searching the area for you."

"Did you guys see Xigbar?" Kairi asked, wondering about the guy who had found her.

"Xigbar? The lemur guy? Yeah, the coast guard got a radio singal from him, which is how we found you. We were lucky he called because we wouldn't have found you otherwise. It had been three days and everyone but Yuffie was certain you were dead."

"So where were we?"

"Deep Jungle, that island really isn't too far away, so it's a bit of a surprise no one thought to check there. Everyone was really surprised that—Xigbar, was it?—was living on the island. They think he has been shipwrecked there for years, which is really odd since he could have swum to shore in just a few hours."

"He seemed really happy out there," Kairi said thoughtfully.

"He was pretty happy out there and extremely pissed that he had to leave. I doubt he ever would have let anyone know that he was out there if you weren't in such bad shape."

'_Poor Xiggy,'_ Kairi thought. _'He really shouldn't have been out there if it was Deep Jungle, since that's an endangered animal preserve… although it's true that he increased the lemur population… If I hadn't ended up there he could still happily be with his lemurs.'_

"What's even weirder is that it seems like Yuffie knows him."

"Seriously?"

"I found a nurse who's wiling to come give you some painkillers," Yuffie said as she entered the room. "They just finally had your medical file faxed here, so there are no worries of accidently poisoning you."

A nurse also came in with a cart of pills. She carefully checked Kairi's chart before giving Kairi a small cup with a couple of pills in it and scribbled what she gave her in the cup. Then the nurse left.

"You know Xigbar?" Kairi asked Yuffie, feeling a little surprised.

"Oh yeah," Yuffie said dismissively. "I met Xiggy a few years back right after I left home. He taught me how to hang ten. Hell, he taught me how to surf!"

"Really?"

"Yup," Yuffie said, nodding. "I was his padawan."

'_This is absolutely crazy,'_ Kairi thought. "You didn't think it was at all odd he lives in a tree house surrounded by lemurs?"

"Naw, I lived in weirder spots after I first moved out of Godo's place," Yuffie said. "I mean, I lived with Tifa during the school year, but I traveled around the country in the summer. I spent a week sleeping in a plastic dinosaur once."

"Oh Yuffie," Kairi sighed.

The doctors had determined that her head injury wasn't that serious and since Kairi was lucid enough, she was released from the hospital that afternoon. Her mother had arrived as they were leaving the hospital and she flung herself onto Kairi, nearly putting the poor redhead back in the hospital. Mrs. Hart insisted that Kairi stay with her until they all could leave the area. Kairi wasn't happy about staying with her mother, but if it made her feel better, Kairi didn't have much of a choice.

She did get to insist that she should be allowed to sit alone with Yuffie in front of her mother's hotel. Mrs. Hart was not pleased to have to let her out of her sight, but Kairi was an adult and she could choose to simply stay away from her mother if she wanted. Mrs. Hart was willing to settle.

"Have you noticed that I've spent a lot of time in hospitals since I met you?" Kairi asked. "I've visited you in the hospital, I visited your father in the hospital, I had to take Roxas to the hospital, we brought and stayed with Aeris when she had to go to the hospital, and now I'm in the hospital."

"That isn't that many hospital visits," Yuffie said, "We have known each other for four years and it's not like anyone was in the hospital more than once."

"We're spending too much time needing medical attention. It's completely unhealthy, babe," Kairi said. "At least my brain is feeling better now."

"Doc said you shouldn't do any serious physical activity for at least a week or three to make certain that all the extra blood goes away. That means no surfing."

"I suppose that also means no sex," Kairi said thoughtfully.

"What?" Yuffie yelped, "but—"

"Grommet!" Xigbar yelled, walking up to them. "How's the head?"

"Better," Kairi said, smiling. "I'm sorry you had to lose Luke and everyone. If I hadn't been in such bad shape you wouldn't have lost your life."

"Preserving your life was more important than keeping mine in stasis. Mother Nature believes in change and I had forgotten that." Xigbar grinned. "Besides, Luke decided to stay with me." He yanked down the collar of his new tacky Hawaiian shirt and the little furry lemur's head popped out. After a moment Xigbar tapped Luke on the forehead and she retreated back into his shirt.

"Isn't that illegal?" Kairi asked.

"We're soul mates," Xigbar said, as if that trumped illegal transport of endangered animals.

"Where are you going Xiggy?" Yuffie asked. "If you need a place to stay, I could gladly put you up."

"No no my little padawan," Xigbar said, "The earth is my home and Mother Nature always provides. I can find a new home for Luke and myself."

"Let me at least buy you a ticket," Yuffie said. "Atlantis or Tortuga? Atlantis has the king of waves, but Tortuga probably has more places for a guy like yourself to fit in."

"It is a kind offer, but I refuse to take charity."

"What about Destiny Islands?" Kairi asked. "I need someone to make certain that my mom gets home safely, even if we paid for your ticket, you would still be doing us a great favor. There are also a lot of uncharted and inhabited islands out there, you could easily find a place to live with Luke."

"Well…" Xigbar said, clearly considering the idea.

"It's always warm in the Islands, the waves are decent, and I know that Luke would love to share a paopu with you," Kairi said.

"I would love to escort your mother," Xigbar said.

"Great! Show up at the station tomorrow and I'll get your ticket when we get mom's ticket," Yuffie said. Xigbar nodded and then wandered away.

"My mother would have heart failure if she heard you call her mom," Kairi said dryly. "I still don't think that she's completely accepted the fact I'm gay."

"Would she like me better if we got married?"

"Without a doubt. Mom's never liked premarital sex. She would probably knit you a stocking and talk about you in the family newsletter. You would be expected to show up for all family functions."

"None of that sounds too terrible. Actually, I'd love a hand knitted stocking."

"You'd be related to Axel."

Yuffie made a face. "Only by marriage."

"I'm not ready to get married, Yuf."

"I know. And I'm not ready to propose. But one of these days I will and when I do, I expect you to accept."

"Sure, Yuf."

I'm dead serious, if I go through the effort of proposing, I expect you to say yes, babe."

Kairi smirked. "Then don't ask me unless you seriously think I'll say yes."

"I won't, promise."

"Good." Kairi slipped off the bench and stretched. Then she offered a hand to Yuffie. "Want to come inform my mother we're having your mad ex-teacher escort her home?"

"Not particularly," Yuffie said, accepting the hand, "but I'll come help. She'll probably scream less if I'm there, after all, I'm not family."

"No you aren't," Kairi agreed as they walked back toward the hotel. "Not yet."

* * *

That was chapter 19. Hope you liked it, still very sorry about the wait. Chapter 20 will be written sooner than chapter 19. Please review, it doesn't take much time, but it means a lot to me and it energizes me, so reviews may help me get the next chapter out sooner. Maybe. Thank you so much for continuing to read Ordinary Adventures. See you next chapter!


	20. Computer Controversy and a Convention

Metal Chocobo: I told you I can keep my word. This chapter is up in less than two months. Hooray! Thanks to Freak109 for taking a look-see at the chapter and pointing out a few important errors. If there are still mistakes or problems, please let me know and I'll be sure to fix them. On to chapter 20!

DISCLAIMER: In no way shape or form do I own any part of Kingdom Hearts, although I certainly wish I did. The same is true of the mentioned anime/manga One Piece.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 20: Computer Controversy and a Convention**

"Gomu gomu no bazooka!" shouted Luffy on the screen as he whaled on an evil pirate.

Yuffie cheered, accidentally spraying the computer screen. She quickly wiped it off with her sleeve. There was no way she'd willingly damage Kairi's computer. A quick glance around the room revealed the redhead was nowhere in sight. The ninja resumed enjoying her show.

Zoro was now on screen fighting another swordsmen. As per the style of the anime, Yuffie couldn't even see the swords except when they were locked in a power struggle. Neither man was willing to let the other win.

Yuffie leaned in closer, careful not to jostle the sleeping bird in her lap. Technically Zoro's moves were impossible to use in real life, but she still wanted to know exactly how he carried out his moves.

"What have I told you about pirated anime?" Kairi asked.

"You don't mind me watching as long as I don't download anything," Yuffie said, still focused on Zoro.

"And if I don't need my laptop."

"Right." Yuffie glanced up from the screen. "You need it?"

"Yup. I'm supposed to be getting a lab report." Kairi carefully pulled her laptop out of Yuffie's grasp. "Considering how much you monopolize my laptop, I'm surprised you haven't gotten your own."

"But they're confusing to use," Yuffie whined.

"You use mine better than I do," Kairi said. "Didn't you have one in school?"

"Yeah, but it's seven years old now, which is ancient in computer years," Yuffie said. She got up from her chair, setting Yuna back down without waking her up. "Besides, I gave it to Tifa when I quit college and she's been using that old desktop for her business."

"Get a computer," Kairi said. "You may not be able to differentiate between a gigabyte and a gigablast, but you can certainly operate one."

"It'd be a huge hassle to buy one," Yiffie said. She leaned over Kairi's shoulder and pointed at an unopened letter in her email. "Open that one, it's from Sora."

Kairi clicked the message and up popped Sora's message. The redhead tilted the screen so that she could read easier, but it made it impossible for Yuffie to read from her angle.

"What does it say?" Yuffie asked.

"Sora has a couple of extra tickets to a convention and wanted to know if we can go. It's in two weeks and he would rather not waste two thousand gil if he didn't have to."

"I am not going to some gay man leather fest," Yuffie declared.

Kairi made a face. "I think Sora would be inviting Selphie if that were the case. He knows that we aren't fans."

"Now if there were women involved, maybe," Yuffie said, still thinking about the potential leather convention. "There would be a lot of skin shown—that would be neat—but I'm not particularly interested in S&M, which usually goes hand in hand with—"

Yuffie had to duck a shoe thrown away. Apparently Kairi didn't like where the surfer's train of thought was going.

"He invited us to an anime convention," Kairi said, "not a leather fest."

"An anime convention?" Yuffie said, perking up. "We've been invited to an anime convention? That's awesome!"

"I guess," Kairi said. "I'm not a huge anime fan, though, so it doesn't mean a lot to me."

"But we gotta go!" Yuffie insisted, "I mean, sure, we'll have to have simple costumes, since there's almost no time to make or get one, but this'll be great."

"I will go with you to this convention on one condition," Kairi said. "You will buy your own computer and stop mooching mine."

"Deal."

**xxx**

Yuffie walked into the store expecting it to be like any other store. It wasn't. To start with, everything was white, this odd clear milky white. Absolutely everything. All the hairs went up on the back of her neck and Yuffie knew she was in a bad place. She turned tail and ran… right smack into the nearly invisible door. The ninja unstuck herself from the door, backed up, and ran again, this time crashing through the door.

Kairi found her quivering in a small indoor mall tree. The leaves did not do a very good job hiding her.

"What the hell was that?" Kairi demanded. She got no response. "Yuffie Kisaragi, you get down from that tree right this instant."

"No."

"I'll call the mall security."

"No."

"Yuffie, you ran through a glass door. You're hurt, get out of that tree."

"It's just a flesh wound."

"I can see blood trickling down the trunk."

"No! I feel safe in high places."

"By Ixion's mane and tail," Kairi swore,, rubbing her forehead. "Yuffie, what made you feel so unsafe that you had to bolt through Apple's store front? And you know you're paying for that."

"It was too white," Yuffie said, unable to properly articulate her discomfort with the store.

"You've bought Apple products before, Yuffie, my laptop for example."

"That little computer guy just placed the order for me when I told him I wanted to get you a new one. All I had to do was give him my credit card. There was no whiteness."

"I'll admit that Apple stores are unusual," Kairi said carefully. "But they sell good computers and I really like their products. Can you please come out of that tree now, babe."

Yuffie shook hr her head, causing the entire tree to shake.

"We won't go back to that store tonight."

Yuffie slowly slid down out of the tree. Kairi steadied her then tightly grabbed her ear and began marching back to the store.

"Hey, what give," Yuffie yelped. "You promised we wouldn't go back."

"I promised we wouldn't go back tonight," Kairi said. "Right now, we go back, you apologize, and then give them the right information so that they can pay for repairs."

After two hours of arguing, apologizing, and a quick tumble with a box of band-aids, the girls found themselves sitting on a bench outside of the mall. Kairi was so furious Yuffie wouldn't have been surprised if she burst into flames. Currently she was trying to regain control of her breathing. Yuffie didn't bother her; she knew if she did the redhead would start screaming. Nobody liked it when Kairi screamed; she had a piercing voice and a scathing tongue when she was irate.

Right now Yuffie focused on her new band-aids. She had moogles and cactuars dancing across her arms. She also knew there was a large fat chocobo on her forehead. In the picture the chocobo was drooling a little, but Yuffie still liked it, it was her favorite from the box. The moogle band-ads were definitely her least favorite; the background color was yellow, which clashed with the blooby little moogles. The orange background cactuar band-aids had to be a million times better.

"You were banned from the Twilight Town Apple store," Kairi finally said Her voiced was controlled and measured. Yuffie could hear the current of anger underneath. "You weren't banned from all Apple stores and you weren't banned from the Twilight Town mall. You were not arrested. The manager accepted your apology and agreed to send you the bill. Charges will not be pressed against you." She lapsed into silence. She tiredly looked Yuffie in the eyes. "You know it's a bloody miracle, right?"

Yuffie nodded vigorously.

"I know you lead a quiet and conservative life compared to a lot of pro athletes," Kairi said. "You don't drink excessively, you don't do drugs or get into wild sexcapades. You don't blow all your money on fast cars that you crash or houses that you trash in massive riots inducing parties. Your kleptomania is well controlled and you've gone through enough anger management that you no longer hit the heads of strangers' garden gnomes with golf clubs to relieve stress and you rarely get into fights."

Kairi ran a hand over her face. "I should be proud of you, but all I can think of doing right now is strangling you."

Yuffie threw an arm around her girlfriend's shoulder. She pulled her in and kissed the redhead's temple. At the moment she knew her words wouldn't help.

"You need to be aware of your surroundings. I mean, you ran through a bloody glass door. It's amazing you didn't seriously injure yourself just now and I should really take you to the hospital right now, even though you said you're fine. You're going to seriously hurt someone, or worse yourself, one of these days, Yuf, and I don't want that to happen."

"Can we still go to the convention?" Yuffie asked.

"Excuse me?" Kairi said, pulling away.

"I know I promised to buy my own computer, but you understand that I just simply couldn't buy one just now. Can we still go? Please?" Yuffie looked at her pleadingly. "I'll still get one and I promise not to borrow your computer again until after I do."

"You have a one track mind, Yuf."

"Yes ma'am. Can we still go?"

"Fine, but no more breaking expensive glass store front. And I am not wearing anything scanty and revealing to this convention."

**xxx**

"You guys made it!" Sora shouted gleefully as he wrapped his arms around Kairi. She hugged him just as tightly right back.

"You guys really go all out for these events," Kairi said.

"If we had more time I would have come up with better costumes," Yuffie said sulkily.

"What? No, I like the fact I look almost normal," Kairi said, fingering her stripped t-shirt. "Except for an odd looking wristwatch, I could be anywhere. I was just impressed by Sora's costume."

Yuffie had to agree it was impressive. Sora was an angel, and a very fine looking one at that. His pure white wings must have taken weeks to construct and build because they were made of white feathers. Sora's actual clothing consisted of a white tunic and Greek styled gold jewelry. He also wore fuzzy little boots.

"I can't wait to go home and unwrap him," Riku said after he walked up to the group. "Good to see you, Kairi." He gave her a gentler hug.

"What are you?" Kairi asked, "a samurai?"

"A shinigami," Riku said.

"From Bleach," Yuffie said, recognizing the uniform. "But I can't place where Sora is from."

"I'm Pit from the Kid Icarus. This is the new model of him," Sora said, turning around and showing off his costume. "I like your Luffy D Monkey costume, though."

Yuffie beamed and adjusted her straw hat. The Luffy costume was simple, but effective. "Thanks. Kairi is Nami."

"And I look like it," Kairi said. "Shall we go in now?"

They headed into the convention center. Yuffie was a little surprised by the massive amount of people at the convention, but the crowd pleased her. Kairi was just stunned.

"Why would so many people want to dress up as cartoon characters?" she asked, shaking her head.

"Because it's ton of fun," Yuffie said. She turned to Sora. "Do our passes last for all of the con or just today?"

"Sorry," Sora said. "You've just got day passes. My buddies were only supposed to be available to play for the day, so I didn't get them full three-day passes."

"It's cool," Yuffie said. "We just need to make the most of today then. Kairi, there is a ton of stuff I want to buy." The pirate captain grabbed her navigator by the forearm and pulled her into the crowd.

There were literally hundreds of booths and all of them were selling merchandise. Most of it was stuff Yuffie wasn't interested un, but she knew some of the booths out there had great stuff and she wanted to find those booths.

They spent two hours crawling through the rows before Kairi pleaded they desist. As of now Yuffie hadn't found anything worth buying. Sure there had been neat toys and photos, there were even some amazing fan-made anime and manga, but Yuffie already had a vast collection and she had gotten picky about what to add. If this convention could just produce one amazing object, Yuffie would be ecstatic.

"Could we stop for a bit?" Kairi asked. "If I get another elbow to the gut, I'm having you throw a couple people."

"Sure babe."

They leaned against the edge of one of the tables. Surprisingly, other con goers actually gave them some space. Kairi shook her head.

"Is the whole point of this just buying crap?" Kairi asked.

"Course not," Yuffie said. "For one thing, most of this stuff is free. Secondly, there are neat demos and skits in the evening. And a huge portion of these things are seeing what other people are wearing and showing off your stuff."

"So we bought tickets to be in a huge fashion show?"

"And to get free stuff and see new material, yes."

"I can live with that. Think we'll be recognized?"

"I should be, Luffy is famous and you should be recognized by proxy, but our costumes aren't that great, so I doubt we'll be photographed unless we run into a bunch of other One Piece pirates and group photos are needed."

"Good. I don't need my photo floating around all over the internet." Kairi leaned against Yuffie. "I can do this in public, right?" she asked. "You didn't dress me up as your mortal enemy, did you, Yuffie?"

"I will some day be the pirate king and you are my navigator, my friend," Yuffie said. "That's canon. In fandom we get paired up at least some of the time."

"Paired up?"

"Let me put it this way," Yuffie said, wrapping an arm around Kairi's waist. "We can act as couply as we want and the only thing that'll happen is people will want photos of us."

Kairi kissed her. She pulled away when a large flash occurred. Yuffie, not ready to stop, pulled her in for another kiss. More flashing occurred. Even with her eyes shut Yuffie found the flashing light annoying. Much to her regret she broke off the kiss.

"Either stop taking pictures or us or turn off the flash," Yuffie said, wincing as another blinding flash occurred.

"Come on," Kairi said. "Let's go find Riku and Sora. We can all grab lunch. Maybe they'll have some ideas for what to do for the rest of the day."

They found Sora and Riku posing for photos. Not to Yuffie's surprise, there were a lot of people wanting to pose with them—especially Sora—because they had such amazing costumes.

"Yuffie, Kairi," Sora said when he caught sight of them. "We should totally get a group photo!"

"That's a great idea," Yuffie said.

Sora produced a camera from his tunic and handed it over to one of the bystanders. Yuffie positioned Kairi and herself between Sora and Riku for the photo. Several flashes occurred; apparently they weren't the only ones who wanted a group photo. Sora thanked his photographer as he took his camera back then told the crowd that he needed a break. When they complained because Sora hadn't posed with everyone yet, Riku said that Sora needed a break and the grumbling stopped.

The group headed over to the frozen yogurt stand. It was the only food venue in the area and Sora had already made it clear that if he had to walk more than twenty paces Riku would have to carry him and his thirty-pound wings. After purchasing their provisions the group descended on a table. When the initial hunger pangs were sated, conversation arose.

Sora first launched into a long tale about his recent adventures. Luckily it was interesting enough to keep Yuffie's mind from wandering. When he finally finished explaining his run in with a purple octopus Sora asked about what the girls had been doing.

"I'm trying to buy a computer," Yuffie said.

"Trying?" Riku asked.

"The Apple store scared her," Kairi said. Thankfully she didn't elaborate.

"But why?" Sora asked, mind-boggled. "Apple Stores are awesome!"

"Not everyone is a Mac user," Riku said gently.

"Don't remind me of your past, Riku," Sora said, turning away.

"Riku's a PC user?" Kairi asked in surprise.

Sora gave a hiccupping sob as he nodded. "I didn't know when he asked me to marry him." He started rubbing his eyes.

Riku tried to rub the brunet's shoulders, but the wings got in his way. "Sora, I converted for you. Do you have any idea how hard it is to learn a new system? It's an entirely different way of thinking. I had to completely change my mindset. Oh, don't cry babe."

"What am I supposed to tell the children, Riku?" Sora wailed. "Am I supposed to tell them their daddy is a heathenish Dell Man? That he sold his soul to Bill Gates? They'll be so ashamed!"

"I did not sell my soul to Bill Gates."

"Could have fooled me Dell Man."

"Bill Gates doesn't even own Dell computers!"

"What other lies will you tell our children?"

"Gates does not run every computer company besides Mactonish and he isn't the root of all evil… Sora, your argument doesn't even make sense, we don't have any children."

"Oh, so you're a PC user and a child hater too, Riku?"

"Sora," Riku snapped, turning his husband around so that they were facing each other. "I would love to have kids with you, after I finish school and we can afford to raise a child. And when we do have them you'll tell them their daddy loved their mommy so very much he converted to Macs for him."

"I'm Mommy?" Sora said, blinking.

"Would you rather us both be called 'daddy'?" Riku asked. "That might get confusing."

"If I'm not giving birth, I'm not mommy," Sora said. "I'll be daddy and you'll be poppa."

"Okay, I am not being called papa. You can be papa, I'll be daddy."

"Guys," Kairi interrupted, "we were discussing Yuffie's computer needs."

"Right," Sora said, letting go of Riku's shirtfront.

"What do you want it for?" Riku asked.

"To fulfill the promise," Yuffie said promptly.

"She wants to watch shows online," Kairi said. "Being able to store music and photos would also probably be helpful."

"I can't think of any current computer type that wouldn't be able to do that," Riku said. "Do you have any prior computer experience, Yuffie? I mean besides borrowing Kairi's computer."

"I had a PC in college," Yuffie said. "It was our home computer and I was definitely the best at using it."

"Since you have an understanding of PCs, get a PC."

Sora hissed.

"What?" Riku said. "They're cheap, easy to repair or upgrade, and very customizable. PCs also have programs that are not available for Macs. "

"How well could you use it?" Kairi asked. She looked at Yuffie attentively.

"It only crashed on me once a day," Yuffie said proudly. Riku made an odd hiccupping noise. "Whenever dad or any of the guys—the live in students that is, day kids never had any time—the computer would crash in about ten minutes. Dad almost always got it smoking. I can't remember how many times we had to use a fire extinguisher on it."

"Where is this computer now?"

"With Tifa, remember? Although I think she said she's never had to deal with any smoke."

"Have you ever crashed my computer or caused smoke to come out of it?" Kairi said.

Yuffie had to think about it for a moment. "Never," she said, shaking her head.

"Mac User," Sora and Riku said simultaneously.

"But they're all so white," Yuffie whined.

"Yuffie, you only want to use a computer for simple tasks and your computer skills are only on par with Macs," Riku said. "A PC is probably too difficult for you to deal with."

"I can use a PC," Yuffie said hotly.

"You can," Kairi said with a sigh. "I won't hold it against you if you buy a PC. I told you to get a computer, but it's your choice and preference as to what type. If you want a PC, I will tolerate and learn to accept your choices. You are more important than my prejudice."

"Although they are well founded," Sora said darkly.

Riku pinched his rear, causing the angle to jump. "I may have converted for you, but you fell in love with a practicing PC user. So hush."

"Sora, have you ever had a problem with Riku's religious beliefs?" Yuffie asked, wondering if Sora had any non-computer related prejudices.

"Never." Sora grinned brilliantly at Riku. "I don't care if he believes in Yevon or the Northern gods like Ifirit or Ixion, or if he believes in the three goddesses. Heck, if someone believes we're the cosmic result of some Moomba's cold, that's cool with me."

"So you're only bigoted toward PC users," Yuffie said, feeling like she finally understood.

"Pretty much," Riku said, earning a disgruntled yelp from Sora.

"Sora, what would you do if your children were PC users?" Kairi asked.

"I would blame Riku for corrupting them and go into therapy," Sora said promptly. "But I would always love them." Yuffie was surprised by how quickly he said that.

"Look," Riku started. "I think we need to leave this conversation before you convince Sora to never have se with me again." With a wave, Riku threw Sora over his shoulder and stalked off into the crowd.

"Sora is just a little batty about Macs," Kairi said. "Most of the world is made up of PC users so Sora's run into a lot of flack for liking Macs over the years. He's shifted from being defensive about his preferences all the time to actively attacking what he considers the opposition so that his feelings won't get hurt."

"What are your feelings?"

"I've already said I'm a Mac person and that you have every right to be a PC user."

"I asked what your feelings are, Kairi," Yuffie said feeling a little frustrated. "You don't have to be accepting of all points of view and I'd rather you weren't because I want your actual thoughts. Your private thoughts."

"Really truly?"

"Really truly."

"I wish you'd get Mac. Sure, there may not be as much software out there for Macs, but they're low maintenance computers and intuitive to use." She pushed her bangs out of her eyes. "Plus I like Macs, so I think it would be easier if we just used the same computer type."

"Then I'll get a Mac."

"But I don't want to force you to get a Mac."

"You're forcing me to get a computer, babe," Yuffie laughed, "If you think I can be happy with a Mac, I'll get a Mac. Besides, you'll be able to help me if there's some sort of problem with it."

"If that's what you really want…"

"That's what I really want," Yuffie said firmly. "As long as I don't have to buy it in stores."

"I suppose we could go to Apple Online," Yuffie said thoughtfully.

A sudden crackling was heard. Yuffie jerked toward the noise. She saw fireworks going off. They were little ones, mostly sparklers and the like, but they were being set off in the center of a crowded building.

"Fireworks, pretty!" Yuffie said, grabbing Kairi and pulling her into the din. At the moment she really did look like Luffy.

**xxx**

"Why cruel world why?" Yuffie wailed.

"It's not that bad, Yuffie," Kairi said gently, trying to console her girlfriend.

"I didn't find a single damn thing!"

That wasn't quite true. After sending a grand total of nine hours hunting through the booths Yuffie had found one thing that interested her. She had found a cat maid costume—complete with ears, tail, and bell collar—that she thought would look perfect on Kairi. Unfortunately the redhead put her foot down and refused to let Yuffie even think of buying it. As Kairi said at the time, if she wanted to dress as a creepy cat girl slave, she'd make the bloody costume herself and not buy it from an obsessive fan boy that probably had already slept in it twice.

"If it makes you feel any better," Kairi began, pulling something out of her back pocket, "I got you something."

"What is it?" Yuffie asked, perking up instantly.

"This." Kairi handed her a slip of paper.

"You got me… paper."

"Try reading it, Yuf."

"Right." Yuffie pulled out her cell phone and flipped it open for the light. She scanned the paper; it looked like an order form. "You got me a plushie?"

"A custom made plushie."

"Of what?"

Kairi didn't answer. Yuffie glanced over at her girlfriend, but could not distinguish much in the post midnight dark. On a hunch she reached over and touched her girl's cheek.

"You're blushing. Now I gotta know what you got me."

"It's just sorta stupid."

"If you thought I'd like it, then it's not stupid."

"I got a doll of—" Kairi paused, licked her lips. "—Of me."

"You got me a Kairi doll?" Yuffie asked, delighted.

Kairi nodded. "While you were more fighting with the frog and causing a scene, I was admiring this Okami plushie and got into a conversation with the doll maker. Somehow the conversation turned to you, probably because of that scene I already mentioned, and I found myself getting any photo taken so that she could make a doll."

"So will you look like Nami?" Yuffie asked, "because then it'll just look like Nami doll instead of a cosplay doll of you."

"No," Kairi said slowly, "I won't look like Nami."

Yuffie picked up on the oddity in her tone. "What kind of plushie is this?" When she didn't answer, Yuffie said, "Kairi."

"A cat doll."

"You got me a cat maid doll, oh Kairi!"

"No," Kairi said sharply. "It's just got cat ears and a tail. No maid costume. I think I'll be wearing jeans and a t-shirt."

"But I could stick you in a maid costume," Yuffie said, eyes gleaming.

"I guess," Kairi said, shrugging.

"Oh Kairi!" Yuffie wrapped her arms around her girlfriend in a monstrous hug. "Best present ever."

"And now you'll buy that computer."

"Right," Yuffie said disinterestedly.

"Don't worry, we can use the online store and it isn't unusually white."

"That's something."

"And you know what, Yuffie," Kairi said, "you can get your computer in black."

"Oh," Yuffie blinked in realization. "Awesome."

With this plan in mind they caught the last trolley home. Yuna was so ecstatic to see them she didn't bother to peck Yuffie's bare ankles. It was a good night all around and even Kairi had to admit that was a great convention.

* * *

That was chapter 20. If you enjoyed it at all (or even if you didn't) please review. It can be a short review that takes almost no time to write or it can be long and involved critiquing everything in the chapter and how well I accomplished my goal, whatever you think that may be. Well, whatever you chose, thank you for reading chapter 20. I hope to see you all at the next chapter.


	21. A New Hart

Metal Chocobo: Hello again, I'm terribly sorry for how long it took to produce this chapter. I'm really, really sorry for the wait. Seriously, it was not meant to be this long of a wait. It's rather crazy that in just a couple of days this story will be three years old. This was way too long of a wait.

DISCLAIMER: All characters and places are the sole property of Square Enix. No money or profits of any sort are being made off of this work of fiction. This writer is in massive debt due to college so no money would be made suing.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 21: A New Hart**

"Kairi, you gotta help me."

"Axel?" Kairi groaned into the phone, willing her eyes to open. "It's four in the morning."

"Kairi, please help me, please. You're the only one I can turn to and I need you."

"What's going on?"

"I can't talk about it on the phone," Axel whispered. "Roxas might hear and I can't let my little angel hear."

"Why can't he hear?"

"Because he can't know about this."

"Why not?"

"Can I just explain when I get there?"

"Fine," Kairi sighed, hanging up the phone.

She woke up a second time when she heard pounding on the door. Growling slightly, Kairi stumbled out to her front door. If she could hear him then her neighbors could hear him and that was not acceptable.

She pulled the door and nearly hit her forehead on it because she had forgotten to unlock the door. Clearly Kairi needed more sleep to be able to make any rational decisions. After she had gotten the door open she was shocked by what she saw.

Axel stood there with a helpless look on his face and a bouncing baby boy in his arms. Actually, it was more of a toddler than a baby, which is how Kairi was able to determine the gender. The little boy had short red spiky hair and was currently trying to shove his fingers up the man's nose.

"What is that?" Kairi demanded.

"This is what I need help with." He held out the little boy to her. "You have breasts, feed it."

Kairi's jaw dropped. "You did not just say that," she said. "You did not just say something so horribly sexist that I have to call Roxas right now and inform him of what you said."

"You can't do that to me, Kairi!" Axel said, raising his voice on each word until he screamed her name. This caused the little boy to start wailing.

"Shut up, shut up," Kairi hissed, grabbing her cousin by his shirtfront and dragging him into the apartment. After she shut the front door she said, "Are you trying to evict me?"

"Shut up, damn it, be quiet," Axel snapped, starting to shake the child.

Kairi snatched the boy out of his arms and slapped Axel hard. "No wonder he's crying," she said, seething. "You don't ever shake a child. Ever, Axel. You could have killed him."

Axel looked at her like she had just shaken him. "I just don't know what to do," he said quietly.

Kairi just shook her head. If he had hurt this kid she was going to kill him. She looked down at the child, who by this point had stopped crying and firmly wedged himself into her breast, and wished she had a home castration kit.

"Look in the cupboard and find whatever sickeningly sweet cereal Yuffie's eating," Kairi said. Axel moved to comply. "It's about the only thing we have that I think he'll eat."

She tried to set the kid on the couch, but he started crying immediately. In the end she found herself sitting on the couch with the boy on her lap eating cereal. He was a messy eater and had somehow gotten the colorful loops in his hair, but thankfully, he was quiet. Axel warily sat in an armchair, looking like he'd make a dash for the door the first chance he got. Unfortunately for him though, Kairi was in the way.

Several hours after the boy had fallen asleep and spilled food all over the couch, Yuffie got out of bed. Kairi heard the thud of Yuffie falling out of bed the way she usually did whenever she slept alone. Then a minute later there was the thump-thump-thump of Yuffie stomping across the floorboards with unninja-like grace. A door slammed waking up Axel. He flailed wildly then fell out of his chair. It seemed Kairi was surrounded by people who fell when they woke.

This second thud had prompted a click clattering noise. Yuna waddled out to investigate the noise. When she saw the sleeping boy she let out a shrill wark of rage and flew at him. Kairi had raised a jealous bird.

Axel, from his prime position sprawled on the floor, saw the bird dive-bombing the boy and moved to act. Time seemed to slow as the man made a leap any receiver would appreciate, nimbly catching the chocobo then he snapped her to his chest and fell, back first, onto the wobbly coffee table. The legs cracked instantaneously and man and bird continued to fall another six inches before landing with a crash. The boy woke up wailing.

Yuffie rushed into the living room due to all the noise. The cereal box, which had flown up in a spiral when Axel hit it, had enough centripetal force acting on it that the box top opened and the remaining loops flew out making a rainbow pattern similar to a spiral galaxy form for a moment. Kairi thought it was beautiful and wished she had her camera. Then time sped up again and cereal rocketed in every direction.

"Please tell me this is some sort of nightmare," Yuffie said, scratching her ear.

Kairi threw a pillow at her. It went wide and knocked a picture to the floor. The glass broke.

Yuffie picked up the frame and brushed glass off the photo. "What did my mother ever do to you?" she asked.

The toddler continued to wail. Yuna bit Axel on the nose, causing the redhead to scream. It was so loud that Kairi couldn't hear herself think. Yuffie set the photo of her mother on a bookcase and lifted two fingers to her lips.

A resounding 'Twee' silenced the room. Dropping the fingers from her mouth, Yuffie asked cheerfully, "Will somebody tell me what the fuck is going on?"

Yuffie didn't get her answer until much later after the cereal had been mostly cleaned up. Axel had been rolled off the coffee table and lifted on the couch. Yuna was locked in the bathroom. The little boy was so enamored by Yuffie's whistle that he couldn't take his eyes off her. He didn't make a peep when Kairi gently set him on the vacated armchair so that she could pick up pieces of coffee table.

Now that the room once again resembled a living room Kairi sat down heavily in the papason chair. Yuffie leaned against a couch arm.

"Somebody start talking fast," she said.

"We can go buy a new frame this afternoon," Kairi said soothingly.

Yuffie flashed her girlfriend a smile. "That's good to know, but not in part at the moment. What's with the kid?" she asked, jerking a thumb at the boy.

"I don't know," Kairi said. "Axel called speaking gibberish and then came here and dumped the boy on me. Later everything went to hell."

"So you know nothing."

"Not a clue."

"And he's not some incestuous child, right?"

"He's not my incestuous child. I don't know about Axel."

"Axel," Yuffie said, slapping him on the ass. "We need some answers."

"I don't have any," he moaned.

"Where'd you get the kid?" Yuffie asked, slapping him in the same place.

"Some chick dumped him on me and said he was mine."

"Is he?" A third slap.

"Stop slapping my ass!" Axel yelled. "I don't know, he could be. I slept with a lotta people before Roxas agreed to take up with me. I slept with even more when I was drunk… or high."

"What do you think, babe?" Yuffie asked.

"He has his hair," Kairi said thoughtfully. After a moment she realized that she still didn't know what the name of the boy was. "Hey there," she said, softly addressing the boy, "what's your name?"

He stared at her dumbly, which wasn't so surprising considering the fact no one had yet to pay any real attention to him. He looked around to see if there was anyone else she could have been talking to and when there was no one else, he pointed to himself. Kairi nodded smiling. This seemed to shock him even more.

"Re-Reno," he said before shoving his thumb in his mouth.

"Reno. That's a pretty name. How old are you, Reno?"

Three fingers wobbled up into the air.

"Three, huh?" Kairi shot Axel a dirty look. That would put conception around four years ago, which would make it very possible for Axel to be the father.

"So how about that explanation now?" Yuffie asked.

"Late last night I get a knock on the door," Axel said. "When I open the door this… I don't want to call her a bitch, but she was one, shoves the kid in my arms and said he was mine and she was sick of dealing with him. Then that brat started crying and she left without answering any of my questions."

"Then you call me and try to dump him on us," Kairi said, finishing the story. "Look, I'm all for helping you out of a jam, but we are not raising your kid."

"I know that."

"And what about Roxas? Doesn't he need to know that he's dating a daddy?"

"Roxas will never know."

"A child isn't a stolen cookie, you can't keep him a secret, especially from your boyfriend."

"Roxas will kill me!"

"Roxas? My sweet Roxas?"

"_My_ Roxas, thank you very much," Axel said. "I'll have you know that he's very different when it's just the two of us."

"Oh yeah, I bet he is. Does he run around the house in assless leather chaps carrying a bullwhip." Axel gave her a funny look. Her laughter slowly died. "Does he really?"

"Not quite."

"Guys," Yuffie cut in, "the little wonder is making his escape."

Both Kairi and Axel hopped to their feet and started looking for the toddler. Kairi caught sight of him entering the bedroom so she dashed after him. Reno was a quick critter though, so she only just caught him as he exited onto the balcony. He was small enough to slip through the bars. She firmly shut and locked the sliding glass door.

"Our house is not baby proof, Axel!"

"Nor is it supposed to be," Yuffie said.

"At least you don't have porn and beer lying everywhere," Axel said. "Or cigarettes. Kid's actually good at lifting them."

Yuffie glanced at Kairi then hit Axel on the back of the head with a rolled up magazine. "Bad dad bad," she said.

Axel said a few choice words that earned him a slap to the nose.

"Are you forgetting we have a three-year-old in the house or do you just not care?" Kairi asked.

"I care," Axel said, rubbing his nose. "I just don't think swearing is a problem. Poisonous toxins are though."

"That's why they call them poisonous," Yuffie said. "Or maybe that's why they're called toxins. Kairi, which is the noun?"

Kairi ignored her girlfriend. "If you don't think you can care for him you should give him to child services. Even if you think you can you may still want to check in with them. I doubt you have his birth certificate or his medical records. For all we know you may have been given a kidnapped child."

"I doubt he's kidnapped."

"So do I, but that's not the point."

"I just don't know what to do," Axel said miserably. His phone rang. 'Roxas' he mouthed as he answered. "Hey Roxy—yes I know I'm not supposed to call you that and you know that's your least embarrassing nickname… you're right, I'm not. I'm at Kairi's. She needed advice. In person… Hey, I give great advice, that flood was not my fault, I don't even like water! Kay… pineapple or orange? You know you'd be sad if I did."

He hung up grinning. "Girls," he said, "I have to go. My true love awaits and I can't disappoint." Then he scampered off in an eerily similar fashion to the way he had described Reno's mother leaving.

"I cannot believe he just did that," Yuffie said.

"Believe it. Now help me baby-proof this place before we have a dead toddler on our hands."

**xxx**

"So he just dumped him on you?" Sora asked.

"Yep."

"Just left."

"That's what I said, Sora," Kairi said, wishing her cell phone had a coiled cord she could play with. When she was a kid she always played with the phone cord while she talked and talking with Sora always made her fingers itch for something to do.

"Riku!" Sora shouted, forgetting, as usual, that when he was on the phone he was screaming into someone's ear.

Kairi heard a muffled response.

"Kairi and Yuffie suddenly have a kid. Why won't you even meet my eyes when I bring up the subject?"

"He isn't mine," Kairi said, but she was sure no one heard her.

Noises commonly related to a scuffle ensued. Kairi heard some cursing and a loud clattering noise before Riku came on the line. He was breathless.

"When did you get pregnant?" Riku asked.

"Why do you automatically assume that I was the pregnant one?"

"Yuffie just doesn't seem like the life giving type. It also wouldn't affect your professional life the way it would hers. I'd hate to see what a really bad wipeout would do to a fetus."

"Well I've never been pregnant."

"So Yuffie's the pregnant one?"

"No." No one is pregnant. The kid belongs to Axel. He left him with us, which is the only reason we have any child here."

"Oh. Okay, I get that," Riku said.

Sora made some sort of noise. Riku responded, but Kairi couldn't hear what was said. As an off the phone conversation started Kairi saw Yuffie and Reno come in the front door. She waved and pointed at the phone to keep the new arrivals from starting another conversation.

"Riku. Riku, Yuffie and Reno just got back."

"Is Reno the kid?"

"Yeah, he looks like a cute innocent Axel with short hair," Kairi said. "I think he would look even cuter with goggles."

"That so, eh? No, Sora… Kairi, I think I need to cut this conversation short. Sora seems to have forgotten basic biology and I need to give him a refresher course. Have fun playing house."

Riku hung up before Kairi could give a witty reply.

"He hung up on me to have sex with Sora," Kairi said.

"What a bitch," Yuffie said.

"Yuffie! Not in front of Reno." Over the past two days Kairi had found she could not bear to swear in front of Reno and that she hated it when Yuffie did.

"Hey, he doesn't understand."

"That's not the point, Yuf."

"Reno, why don't you tell Kairi about the squirrels," Yuffie said, trying to change the subject.

Reno eagerly climbed into Kairi's lap. He had become open and lively over the last couple days. It was clear he loved living with the girls.

Kairi found herself unable to focus on Reno's tale of the epic battle of Squirrel Park. She made attentive oohs and aahs whenever Reno paused and looked at her with his bright eyes, but she just could not keep track of the thirty different squirrels in his story.

"Wait a minute," Kairi said, "I thought Bahamut and Shiva were married."

"They were," Reno said. "Until Cindy and Mindy performed a pincher attack on Shiva so that Sandy could marry Bahamut." He demonstrated the pincher attack with his hands in an eerily similar fashion to Yuffie.

'_Good Ixion, he's imprinting on us,'_ she thought. _'If we keep him I'm going to have two Yuffies on my hands.'_

"Hey sport, you want to feed Yunie?" Yuffie asked.

Reno slid out of Kairi's lap and ran into the kitchen. Yuna ran out after him as soon as she heard the dry food rattling. Even the bird had come to love him in a remarkably short time.

"Originally there were only six squirrels involved. Reno embellished the story a little."

"I never would have guessed," Kairi said dryly.

They listened as Reno almost sang to Yuna as he scooped food out for her. He liked to use a regular serving spoon because it lengthened the job.

"You know we have no legal grounds to keep him."

"I know," Yuffie said. "But I'm a better dad than Axel is."

"Shockingly yes. We still need to make Axel take him back though. I hate to give him up, but it would be nearly impossibly for me to take care of him once you're on tour and I'm back in school?"

"Nannies?" Yuffie suggested.

Kairi shook her head. "If I'm raising a kid I want to do it right. That's why I want to actually raise the kid and not outsource the job. We simply are not in a position to care for an illegally obtained child. Even if he is pretty damn cute."

"I guess we need to start operation Dalmatian."

"Operation Dalmatian?"

"Well yeah, as in one hundred and one. Pongo and Perdita have to reunite with their puppies. It's the same deal here."

"Yuffie, you watch too much Disney."

**xxx**

"Kairi, it's great to see you," Roxas said, hugging Kairi.

"You make it sound like I haven't seen you in months."

"Well it does seem like it. Oh hey, did you hear that IHO is in town next week?"

"Yeah, it sounds like the play is finally complete. You want to go?"

"I think it could be a lot of fun and I certainly wouldn't have mentioned it if I didn't want to go with you."

"Please sit," Kairi said, gesturing to the couch. "I'm not certain when Axel will get here, but I thought we could do musical romances in honor of your first time."

"You certain you don't mind me butting in on cousin time?" Roxas asked.

"Don't sweat it," Kairi said, waving her hand. She sat down next to Roxas on the couch. "Yuffie crashed a couple of times and it hasn't bothered Axel or me, so why should you be any different?"

"I guess you're right," Roxas said, suddenly smiling. "I'm the first one here? We seem to be starting earlier than I expected."

"Yuf and I decided to start earlier this time since it's more of a family night. She's off getting pizza right now and hopefully Axel will turn up any minute."

As if on cue there was a knock at the door. Kairi got up and answered it.

"I've got ice cream and gummi worms," Axel said as soon as the door was open.

"What kind of ice cream did you get?" Roxas asked.

Axel's eyes widened to a comical proportion when he heard his lover's voice. "Please tell me that was a recording," he hissed.

"Why Axel, I thought you'd want Roxas here since you don't like it when the estrogen outnumbers you," Kairi said.

"Is there a problem with me being here?" Roxas asked.

"Of course not," Axel said. "Babe, I always love having you around. Kairi, can you help me put the food away?"

Kairi had been expecting that. "Sure."

As soon as they were in the kitchen Axel glared at her. "Why is he here?" he snapped.

"I didn't want him to feel left out."

"Bullshit. Total bullshit. You brought him here to rat me out."

Kairi just smiled. "If I wanted to do that I could have just made two phone calls. Then your life would be living hell."

"Where's the kid?"

"Out with Yuffie." When she saw Axel relaxing as if he had dodged a bullet she added, "but they should be back soon. This is family night after all."

"You can't bring him back here."

"How can she not bring him back here when you put him in our care? Besides, are you really going to deprive your son the chance to watch a movie with his father?"

"Will you stop saying the words 'father' and 'son' already?"

"Will you grow up and take responsibility?"

"Guys, is it alright if we start with The Sound of Music?" Roxas asked from the couch. "And do you need help?"

"We're fine," Kairi said. "Pick what you want."

Axel looked like he wanted to keep arguing, but Kairi just smiled at him as she went back to the living room. She sat next to Roxas in the center of the couch. With a groan Axel took Roxas' other side.

Just as the last preview ended Yuffie and Reno came in through the front door. She held several large pizza boxes.

"We aren't late, are we?" Yuffie asked.

"Pizza!" Reno shouted.

Yuna dashed up to the pair warking excitedly. Reno threw his arms around the bird and buried his nose in her feathers. Maternal instinct kicked in and Yuna started preening Reno.

Kairi smirked. The plan was working. As soon as Roxas laid eyes on Reno he forgot all about his favorite singing nun. Clearly Yuna wasn't the only maternal one.

Axel was acting in a particularly unmaternal fashion. It wasn't even a particularly paternal fashion either; or rather he was behaving like that certain breed of gentlemen commonly referred to as "deadbeat." The fact that Roxas didn't notice Axel's sudden pallor or the fact that he was trying to flee the couch without appearing to do so spoke volumes about their characters.

"Is he?" Roxas started to ask, but he was uncertain on how to phrase it.

"I'm watching him for a relative," Kairi explained, glancing at Axel. He didn't meet her eyes. "But I don't think we'll have him for much longer."

Reno ran over to Kairi while carrying Yuna. The chocobo didn't like being jostled about, but she accepted the treatment with dignity. He held her up to Kairi and she carefully accepted the bird. Yuffie set the pizza on the new coffee table and sat down next to Kairi. That was the last open spot on the couch.

"Where do I sit?" Reno asked.

Kairi passed Yuna to Yuffie then patted her lap. He grabbed her knee and attempted to pull himself up. He struggled for a while before Kairi picked him up and set him in her lap. Roxas ruffled Reno's hair.

"What are we watching?" Reno asked.

"The Sound of Music," Roxas said. "It's a wonderful movie."

Reno was surprisingly well behaved considering the fact he shared Yuffie's opinions on musicals. He paid attention to the musical and, with some prompting from Roxas, even sang along. Somewhere between the dinner party and the escape from the Nazis, Reno migrated to Roxas' lap. By the end of the second movie (which was Singing in the Rain, chosen by Axel) Reno was fast asleep.

"We probably shouldn't start another one," Roxas said, regret filling his voice. He was gently running his fingers through Reno's hair. "I just don't want to wake him when he's sleeping so sweetly."

"He's like a battery," Yuffie said, "goes full tilt until he suddenly passes out. Most kids his age are like that."

"You make it sound like you outgrew that stage," Kairi said.

"I did," Yuffie said, smirking. "Now I never pass out."

Kairi rolled her eyes, but couldn't help smiling. Roxas suppressed a giggle.

"Where's your rich wit in all of this?" Yuffie asked Axel, somehow managing to stretch a toe far enough to poke him in the forehead without getting up or waking the toddler.

"There isn't much to say," Axel said. "I'm just chilling with my Roxy. Life is good and I don't want to rock the boat."

"Axel," Roxas said, "Kairi said Reno belonged to a relative. Do you know who?"

"Well… he belongs to some cousin or another of Kairi's," Axel said, trying to sound vague. "I don't know much about him. This is only the second time we've met and he didn't even look at me tonight."

Roxas' eyes narrowed and his grip on Reno tightened slightly. "What aren't you telling me, Axel? You know your lies just get you into deeper shit."

"Language," Kairi said out of reflex.

"I'm not lying," Axel said, laughing a little. "Honest, Roxy, I'd never lie to you."

"You're right," Roxas said. "You haven't told any lies. However, you're lying by omission right this moment and I take offense."

"Roxas I—"

"Spit it out now or your punishment will be five times worse."

Kairi watched this exchange avidly. She had never seen this could commanding side of Roxas. It was like he had suddenly focused all of his attention into a single beam of concentrated ire Axel was caught in his thrall. For the first time Kairi understood why Axel would occasionally refer to her pacifistic, literature lover as the Avenging Angel of Fury.

"Reno doesn't belong to just any old cousin of Kairi's," Axel said. "I mean, neither one of us really has enough cousins to sling around terms like 'any old cousin,' which is odd when you consider how many uncles and aunts we have. I'd have thought more of them would have had unprotected sex at some point in their lifetim—"

"Get on with it, Axel."

"I swear to Shiva this is only the second time I've ever met him. The only other time was when I gave him to Kairi and I didn't even know his name, so it's not like I had properly met him then and—"

"You gave him to Kairi?"

"Yes," Axel said meekly.

"Why did you have him?"

"His mum gave him to me?"

"Are you related to his mum?"

"I hope not," Yuffie said. "That would make things really twisted."

If it was possible Roxas' gaze intensified. "Say it," he snapped. "I want to hear you say it."

"It was before we were together, Roxas. You know I would never cheat on you."

"Say it."

"It was a mistake! An honest mistake! A drunken mistake! If I could I'd take it back!"

Roxas slapped him. The red handprint began to form before the hand fully disconnected.

"Say it," Roxas repeated.

Axel held his hands up in defeat. "He's mine. I am Reno's father."

Roxas decked him.

For the second time in a week, Axel broke a coffee table with his back. He lay dazed and confused. He was uncertain about whether or not he'd get another punch to the face if he rose. Roxas had yet to get up from the couch as he still cradled Reno.

"You are the most despicable man I have ever met," Roxas said, barely containing his rage. "It's bad enough that you had a child from some intoxicated one night stand. It's bad enough that you neglected said child for years because you didn't bother to check if any of your pieces passed go. These can be excused on the grounds of ignorance. But I cannot excuse the fact that you refused to take responsibility for your child after you met him! You can't throw away kids!"

"I-I gave him to Kairi because I didn't know what to do."

"Yeah, that was real manly of you, Axel, shoving off family onto other family."

"If I had a kid, I know you'd leave me!"

"And you were never a kid who had been left!"

No one could say anything after that. Axel looked like he had been socked in the gut. Roxas was trying not to cry. Kari was speechless and Yuffie was pretending she and Yunie were at the vet.

"Don't fight," Reno said, startling everyone. "I'm always in the way. Mommy doesn't like me. Mommy's boyfriends don't like me. Nobody likes me."

"Kid," Axel said hoarsely. "I'm sorry. I'm a shitty dad."

Reno just nodded and looked down.

"But I can try and be better," Axel said. He dug around in his pockets and produced a lighter. "I've got a toy for you."

"That's a toy."

"Sure it is. Lighters make the best toys."

Reno took the lighter. He looked at it uncertainly, but didn't drop it.

Roxas stood up. He shifted his live cargo, but refused to let go. "Kairi," he said, "I'm sorry movie night is ending on such a foul note. I think it would be best if we took Reno with us." Axel tried to grab Roxas' sleeve, but he easily sidestepped the move.

"Will you be okay?" Kairi asked.

Roxas paused then nodded firmly. "We have a lot to discuss."

"We?" Axel said hopefully.

"We," Roxas repeated.

"Here's all the stuff we got him," Yuffie said, cheerfully shoving a massive over stuffed bag into Axel's arms.

"I'm leaving?" Reno asked.

"And you'll always be welcome here," Yuffie said.

"For now you need to bond with your daddies," Kairi said.

"Daddies?" Reno asked.

"Yup," Yuffie said, "You've got two of em and one's a real idiot."

Axel threw her a dirty look, but went out the front door. Roxas with Reno followed suit. Kairi sat down and sighed.

"We lost our kid," she said.

"We lost our coffee table," Yuffie said. "Again."

"We could always baby sit," Kairi said

"We could always have sex."

"What?"

Yuffie landed heavily on the couch beside Kairi. "Oh nothing," she said, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend. She picked up the remote and turned the TV back on. "Is anything still salvageable?"

Kairi handed her the bag of gummi worms. "The whole night is salvageable. Operation Dalmatian was a success. We reunited father and son into a more happy family. Sure there was a bit of a fight, but the truth is out in the open now and I think Roxas and Axel will be closer for it. Now flip to the Syfy channel."

* * *

So that was chapter 21. I hope you all liked it and review, if not, you can review and tell me why you didn't like it. Oh, this is a bit random, but I'd like to ask who do you think is the main character of the story? I know who I think it is, but I'd like to hear what you lot think. Thank you for reading.


	22. Confronting the Ghosts of Our Fathers

MC: Hello again everyone! Another new chapter is here and I've finally found a good editor at my school. It's always nice having an editor you meet in person because it makes discussion much easier. She's still learning the characters and what has happened in the past, but I think she's done a good job so far. So a round of thanks is offered to Felix (not the cat) Felicis.

DISCLAIMER: All characters mentioned in this belong to Square Enix and not Metal Chocobo. No money is being made using these characters here and no money ever will be made. So please do not chase down and sue this little fish in the massive ocean of Kingdom Hearts fandom.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 22: Confronting the Ghosts of Our Fathers**

Yuffie was under attack by a horde of ninjas. They were from a rival family on a mission to kill the sole heir to the Kisaragi line. There was no way she was going down without a fight and frankly, she planned to kill all the ninjas before they could even give her a scratch.

She broke the first ninja's jaw with a roundhouse kick before performing a triple back flip to escape a handful of throwing stars. The ninja she landed in front of crumpled after she delivered several elbow blows to his solar plexus and poked his eyes. A third charged her with a sword.

Yuffie easily avoided the wildly swinging weapon with a barrel roll. However, this was clearly the master ninja of the group, because she—it was a she ninja—spun on her heel and charged at Yuffie again. Yuffie was thankful she had always kept up in her training. She was able to bend and twist like a reed so that the point of the katana kept missing her. Still, it troubled Yuffie that she was slowly being pushed back by this other ninja. She needed a weapon.

She spied two lesser ninjas preparing to throw poisoned darts at her. The ninja planned to corner her and the dispatch her. This wouldn't do! The Great Ninja Yuffie, pride of the Kisaragi clan, thief extraordinaire, could not meet her demise here.

Unexpected moves were always her most effective, so Yuffie charged the mistress using a hand-sword blocking technique on her katana, then tackled the ninja with the tachi on his back.

In one smooth movement, Yuffie pulled out the sword and sliced off the other ninja's head. She stomped on the final crony's face and finally turned to the master ninja.

A look of understanding passed between the two warriors. Then, the women charged each other. Swords clanged together in a rapid flashing of light. They stood close together like wolves bearing their teeth, neither backing down.

Then suddenly Yuffie was falling. Her side was bleeding and she seemed to be falling down a dark cliff. The master ninja sneered at her, as if she had already won the fight; as if she was actually the better ninja. As anger swelled in her chest, Yuffie swore she'd survive and kill that bitch even if she killed herself in the process.

Yuffie hit the wooden floor of her bedroom.

She flailed wildly, eyes darting everywhere. Then suddenly, she found her vision blocked by the dark outline of Kairi standing over her. Kairi was in a state of half undress, trying to button on her blouse correctly and failing several times. She just shook her head and stepped over her startled girlfriend.

"Oh Yuffie," she said, "If you're going to keep falling out of bed, you should build some pillow barriers. You're going to hurt yourself one of these days." She picked up two pairs of shoes and said, "Which one should I wear today?"

"The ones on the left," Yuffie said. "I think I fall out of bed all the time because I grew up sleeping on a futon."

"Thanks babe," Kairi said. She leaned down and kissed Yuffie lightly on the lips. "I need to put on some lipstick and get out of here."

"Where are you going?"

"Orientation," Kairi said lightly, putting on some earrings. "The dean of Twilight Law School is giving a speech and as a first year law student, I'm expected to attend."

"When did you get into law school?" Yuffie squawked, sitting up.

Kairi paused what she was doing and stared at Yuffie. "I got in this spring. We had a party and everything. Last fall I took the LSAT and that's why I couldn't go to the Pride Lands with you."

"When did you finish your BA?"

"A month ago. I graduated while you were in the middle of the three-day Atlantis surfing competition. My mom and dad flew in for it. We have my graduation photos on the mantle." She pointed at the wall. There was a framed degree on the wall. "That's my degree."

Yuffie stared at the degree for a minute. This was a really big blunder on her part. "Please don't leave me because I don't pay enough attention and my memory sucks."

Kairi's face broke into a smile and she laughed. "If I was going to leave you because of that, I would have left you years ago."

She kissed her again. "Now I gotta go, Yuf. Get some sleep. Try not to crush the bird."

She walked out of the bedroom. A few minutes later Yuffie heard the front door open and shut. After a moment Yuffie stood up and crawled back into bed. Taking her girlfriend's advice, she built two protective barriers before falling asleep again.

**xxx**

"So how is law school treating Kairi?" Paine asked.

Yuffie winced, causing Paine to pull back on her swing. She recovered quickly though and managed to catch the next blow with her own sword. They stabbed and parried for a minute before Yuffie answered.

"She's really busy. I mean, unlike the summer, she's now a full time student and she's working almost all the time. In the last week I've seen her maybe twice."

"First year law school is always the hardest."

"That's just it," Yuffie said, swing hard, "I didn't even realize she had finished her undergraduate degree or that she had gotten into law school."

"You need to pay more attention."

"I know, I know, but it's just so sudden. One day she's prepping for college, and the next she's in law school, it was just bam! I mean, bam!"

"I get it, let's not flog a dead horse," Paine said, "You feel like you lost a chunk of time."

"I just miss her so much, but we're still in the same house, sharing the same bed. Am I just making a mountain out of a molehill?"

"Probably. Give her some more time, Yuf. You two will find a way to make it work. Somehow," Paine said. "Now what I really want to know is how you got those bruises."

"It's sort of silly… I keep falling out of bed. Seriously, now that Kairi has to get up at some ungodly hour every day I fall out of bed at least twice a morning! I'm thinking about getting a futon and moving out to the living room, at least during the work week."

"Well, if you really think that's your best option, go for it," Paine said, jabbing sharply. "What will Kairi think?"

"That's exactly what I'm worried about! Will she think I'm trying to distance myself from her?" Yuffie asked, slapping Paine's hand with the flat of her sword. "Cut your fingers off."

Paine smirked and tauntingly wiggled said 'cut' fingers. She hopped back and both fighters retook their positions.

"Can you guys give it up already?" Rikku asked from her seat on the sidelines. "Yoga has been over for almost an hour."

"You're already done showering?" Yuffie asked in surprise.

"I don't take that long at the gym," Rikku said hotly.

"We should probably stop now," Paine said, leaning her sword against her shoulder. "I do have to run this gym sometime, you know."

"Fine," Yuffie said, lowering her weapon. "Thanks for letting me vent."

"Anytime," Paine said with a small half grin. "I love hearing about the very droll problems of a professional athlete. "

Yuffie stuck her tongue out at the other woman as she put her sword back in its case. She couldn't just carry it around in a sheath because that was sort of illegal on the public streets. Yuffie had gotten an earful from Kairi the last time she did that.

"Hey," Paine said, wagging her finger at Yuffie disapprovingly. "No flirting. You, my friend, are married."

"No I'm not."

"May as well be," Rikku said. "Kairi's got you totally whipped, so you are absolutely off the market."

"I never said I was on the market! And I'm not whipped."

"Sticking your tongue out like that is a tease."

"That was an insult!"

"An insult."

"Yeah, a minor insult," Yuffie said. "Like 'I bite my thumb at you.' That's Shakespeare."

"I bite my thumb at you is a major insult, you idiot," Paine said. "It's the equlivent of fuck you and the man who uttered it in Romeo and Juliet ended up in a duel because of those words."

"'Fuck you,' 'go to hell,' 'bollix,' they're all minor insults," Yuffie said, waving her hands dismissively. "You guys know I don't really mean them."

"Skank," Rikku said.

"Bitch."

"Slut."

"See what I mean?" Yuffie said. "The words mean nothing."

Paine shook her head. "I prefer the days when words actually meant something." She shouldered her own sword case. "Well, I have to go make certain my personal trainers are actually training and not simply flirting. Ladies." She strode past the girls and hopped up the stairs like she hadn't just spent the last two hours sparring.

"She has amazing stamina," Rikku said.

"It comes with the territory."

"If she were a man I'd do her."

"You'd do any man, Two-K."

"Not true."

"Almost any man."

Rikku just glared at her best friend.

"Sorry."

"Thank you."

"I need to get going and put this away," Yuffie said, hefting her sword case. "Eugh. This basement smells like highly perfumed feet. That's worse than the smell of just feet."

Yuffie showered and dressed quickly. She joined Rikku and the girls hopped onto the trolley system. They rode around for a while, trying to decide their next move.

Eventually they ended up at the park. It had been far too long since Rikku had gone to a park, and since it was a nice sunny afternoon, it seemed like the logical place to go.

This particular park was Twilight's biggest park. Sunset park was located in Sunset Terrace, the nicest neighborhood of Twilight Town, and covered two city blocks. There was a nice playground at one end of the park by a grassy pitch and a mid-sized hill at the other end overlooking the train tracks. In the center of the park was a small pond with half submerged rocks in it. Some trees were scattered through the park too.

"Soak up that sunlight," Yuffie said, stretching. "All that vitamin D is good for you."

"And all that UV light is terrible for your skin," Rikku said.

"Stop spoiling nature," Yuffie said. "It smells beautiful today." She twirled around a few paces ahead of Rikku on the walk.

Her sword case, which was properly locked and strapped to her back as required by law, suddenly ran into something solid and stopped. Yuffie, as a body in motion, now had a sword that had become an unmovable object. These two forces came together when the strap of the sword case used up the last of its slack. And, the same as whenever these forces collide, disaster struck.

Yuffie was jerked back by the strap so quickly that her arms and legs flailed before her in a comical fashion similar to a contestant being yanked off stage by a large hook in the old cartoons. When she hit the sword case she kept falling backwards onto the ground.

Actually, she didn't hit the ground, she landed on a softer lump instead. Yuffie sat there for a moment, stunned, and was then pushed off the lump. The lump turned out to be a person.

Now she was able to get a look at the person she had just toppled. He was an older man in a red coat. Yuffie winced when she noticed she had broken his sunglasses with her reckless behavior.

She stood up quickly, mumbling apologies, and offered him her hand. He ignored it, instead rising to his feet under his own locomotion. He took his time dusting himself off without looking at Yuffie. Only after he picked up his cracked sunglasses did the man turn to look at the ninja.

Yuffie felt annoyed that the man completely ignored her, but she bit the inside of her cheek and reminded herself to keep calm. This mess was her fault. "I'm very sorry sir," she said, tightening her grip on the strap of her sword case and bowing slightly.

The man slipped his sunglasses back onto his nose. This drew Yuffie's attention to the scar across his right eye. She couldn't be completely certain, but Yuffie was willing to bet it was caused by a blade.

"The young should respect their elders," he said gruffy.

"Yes sir. And that's why I'm apologizing, sir." She had a sneaky feeling that he was actually referring to her staring too long, not for causing the fall.

"As a swordsmen, do you really want such frivolous actions in your story?" he asked. He had obviously noticed her sword case.

Yuffie's eyes narrowed. "I walk through life with no regrets. If I err, I correct my mistakes and I repent, but I never regret. That is how I live my story."

"And yet your erroneous actions have blundered their way into my story."

"You refuse to accept my apology."

"If the cow refuses grass, then the calf cannot accept any milk.I refuse to accept your bushido. Your character is not that of a warrior."

"You have insulted my family's honor," Yuffie said. Internally, she was bristling and ready to tear his good eye out. No one insulted her right to be a warrior. She had earned her title through merit alone. "I see no peaceful solution to this dispute."

"I do not feel you have the skill or maturity to carry a sword."

"I refuse to fight an unarmed man."

"We will meet here in three days time. Dawn."

Yuffie nodded. "At the pond."

The man nodded once then turned and walked away. Yuffie watched him intently until he was finally out of sight. He had an odd gait; his arms did not swing quite the same way as a normal person's walk. Only after he was gone did she relaxed.

"I can't believe you just challenged a man to a duel," Rikku said. "Are you insane?"

No," I just challenged a crippled man to a duel," Yuffie said, frowning. "He can't use his left arm very well; he favors it."

"Kairi is going to kill you."

'_I hope I don't kill him,'_ Yuffie thought worriedly. _'There is no way this is going to be a fair fight, much less an honorable one. Damnit, this is not cool!'_

**xxx**

"Ouch," Yuffie hissed. She had just managed to stub her toe after crawling out of bed in the pre dawn-light, or rather lack thereof. She hopped in the vague direction of her dresser until she banged her knee into a piece of furniture. It was probably the dresser she had been looking for. "Damnit!"

"Yuffie?" Kairi asked, sleepily.

"Go back to sleep babe, I just stubbed my toe."

"What are you doing?"

"Going to the can," Yuffie lied. She pulled open a dresser drawer and felt around in it for the right piece of clothing. "Just go back to sleep."

"Turn on a light," Kairi mumbled. "It will make navigation easier."

"You're right as usual," Yuffie said, hobbling back to bed. She switched on the lamp sitting on her nightstand. Then she crawled back into bed to kiss her girlfriend on the forehead. "Love you."

"Of course you do," Kairi mumbled, already falling back asleep.

Yuffie grinned at the response, then she quietly crept out of bed and slunk out of the room. She dressed in a black kimono that allowed free movement with no noise. Then she tied her katana and her wakizashi to her waist. She never fought with two swords, but it didn't make sense to go into a battle without a backup weapon.

Normally Yuffie would take a trolley to Sunset Park, but today was special. A trolley ride would put her back to sleep when she was in this condition. Besides, she needed to stretch and warm up. So Yuffie decided to do the only logical thing, she went to Sunset by rooftop.

It was exhilarating for Yuffie to leap from rooftop to rooftop. She had the adrenaline pumping through her veins before the duel had even started. She had always noticed that the buildings were built close together, which was terrible in case of an earthquake, but perfect for a ninja. Depending on the trolley schedule Yuffie never had to touch the ground.

She rarely traveled by rooftop because Kairi strongly disapproved, but this was a special case. She needed to be at peak form with her ninjitsu skills and the last time she had been at that peak was at home. This mode of travel made her feel like she was still at home and she was able to tap into her old skill.

She dropped down onto a rock at the edge of the pond just as the sun peaked out from behind the horizon. She looked around for a moment before spotting a shape at the other end of the pond. She stared at it until her eyes adjusted to the sudden influx of light. It was the older gentlemen, sitting completely still in a meditative pose. He was dressed the same as she had last seen him. Yuffie wondered if he had even bothered changing clothes.

He must have realized that Yuffie arrived because the he slowly stood up, and produced a massive katana of claymore proportions seemingly out of nowhere. He rested the huge weapon against his back.

Yuffie swallowed. However weak his left arm was, the right one more than made up for it. Considering how smoothly he moved that blade, his good arm had the strength of three men.

"I am pleasantly surprised to see you here," he said. "You have more honor than I initially gave you credit."

"Yuffie Kisaragi," Yuffie said, standing up and drawing her sword. By bushido code was customary to give your name before you killed someone.

"Auron," he said. Apparently 'Auron' was all the name he identified with, which meant he had give up his family line. He held the sword up in a battle position. "This ends now."

Auron leapt onto the first rock at his end of the pond and begin hopping from rock to rock toward the ninja. Yuffie was surprised at his speed and agility, but she too began moving forward in the same manner.

They first crossed blades at roughly the center of the pond. Yuffie threw several blows, which Auron deftly blocked. She moved with the idea that if she could strike quickly and often enough he wouldn't be able to hit her and eventually she would get through his armor.

Auron shoved Yuffie's blade away. She lost her balance and frantically leapt to another stone to avoid falling in the water. She was lucky she had moved because Auron's downward swing cleaved the rock she had been standing on in two.

'_I cannot get hit by that,'_ Yuffie thought, leaping back a few rocks. _'That's a sure kill.'_

She needed a new plan. One where she could hit without being hit and could get herself a down sooner rather than later, preferably. She needed to knock him out cold and steal his wallet.

An unpleasant thought hit her as she circled the edge of the pond. _'Is this duel a fight to the death?'_ she wondered. _'He has killing intent and experience, but I've never been in a duel that's gone beyond first blood before. He's going to murder—no not murder, this is a duel—kill me because I've never been in a fight to the death.'_

She tightened her grip on her sword. She refused to die due to a lack of experience. So what if he was a great samurai? So what if he planned on killing her? She had ninjitsu and if he knew all her tricks, she could make news ones on the fly.

This time she hurled a handful of throwing stars at him before charging. He knocked them away with the hilt of his blade and raised it, ready to strike as soon as she near enough. She paused when there was only one more stone before she entered his range.

Yuffie smirked at Auron then leapt forward. Auron began his downward swing, but he only struck air fore Yuffie had dived for the water, not the rock. This unexpected move gave her more maneuverability.

Underwater, Yuffie had the protection of dim visibility and light refraction. True, these disadvantages not only applied to Auron, but Yuffie knew how to correct for them. This gave her more time to finish creating her plan.

She swam around Auron's rock until she was out of air. At that moment she surged up and striking out blindly. Her blade struck true and the scent of copper filled the air. She had lodged her katana in his thigh all the way to the bone.

"Enough," Auron said.

As she pulled back to resubmerdge herself Auron struck back. His aim was off due to the angle so he didn't cut any flesh, but he shattered the katana. Yuffie's arms felt like they suffered the same fate.

She fell back into the water and used her feet to kick off from the stone. With this extra push she cleared the danger zone before Auron drove his sword into her breast. She swam halfway across the pond before resurfacing again, this time gasping for breath. She had to have at least a moment before Auron arrived; swimming was faster than jumping from rock to rock.

"Farewell."

Yuffie looked up quickly to see the dreaded blade already slicing down on her. The edge sparkled in the morning light, declaring that it was sharp enough to cut her in two. She grasped her wakizashi and tried to raise it for some minute protection, but the katana was already hitting her forehead before the wakizashi cleared its sheath.

The katana slid right through her like a knife through soft butter. It left a cold that radiated outward. Yuffie looked down as she fell back into the water, but could not determine where she had been cut.

'_He was so quick my body must not realize I'm dead yet,'_ Yuffie thought stifling a laugh. She looked up at him, but couldn't make him out as her vision was already going white.

"Passable."

Yuffie could have sworn she heard Kairi screaming her name.

**xxx**

"She could wake up at any time," were the first words Yuffie heard.

She opened her eyes, just little slits because the room was bright, and looked around. She was in the hospital. Again. Kairi and Rikku sat in two chairs by the bed.

"Or she could be like that for years," Kairi continued. "We just have to wait and see. I left a message for her father—he's off on a training mission in the mountains or something—so he should come eventually. Why the hell did you let her do this?"

"I didn't think she'd end up in an actual duel," Rikku said. "You know how Yuffie is. But on the safe side I woke up early and called her cell, thinking she's be asleep in bed having forgotten about everything. Instead I got you, realized she actually had gone off to fight, and that's when we both ran off to the park to try and stop her. Lucky we got there when we did."

"We should have gotten there sooner."

Yuffie thought she had best make some awakening noises before they started planning her eulogies. She moaned, rolled over and stretched, immediately regretting those actions. Her sides throbbed the same way as when Seifer beat her to a pulp two years ago.

"Yuffie?" Kairi said, leaping to her feet. She touched Yuffie's forehead. "You awake?"

"My sides hurt," Yuffie said. She smiled at Kairi. "You look good though."

Her hand dropped to Yuffie's cheek. "I'm sorry. The ribs are my fault. I broke a few giving you CPR before the paramedics arrived."

"When did you learn CPR?"

"I grew up on a tropical island and the number one danger in my girlfriend's career is drowning. Of course I know CPR."

"That's good to know. Any way to get any pain meds?"

"A nurse should be by soon," Kairi said. "Yuffie, why did you challenge a stranger to a duel?"

"He insulted my family honor! I had to fight him."

"And honor is more important than your life?"

"By traditional standards, yeah," Yuffie said thoughtfully. "My great grandfather died in an honor duel. It was one of the last legal duel deaths in this country."

"I feel so much better knowing your death would have been illegal."

"Don't be like that babe."

"Don't be like what?"

"Let's not fight until after I got out of the hospital," Yuffie said, sitting up and again immediately regretting the action. It hurt to simply breathe, much less sit up.

Kairi pursed her lips. She hit the 'call nurse' button.

"How long have I been in here for anyway?"

"A few hours," Kairi said. "We found you unconscious in the pond. You were cold to the touch and weren't breathing. I was so scared you wouldn't make it."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't you dare even think of doing anything more physically strenuous than breathing for the next two months. You've broken your ribs before, Yuf, and that means it'll take longer to heal."

"I wish I could follow your request, but I think I need to pee. Can I get a little help?" Yuffie asked, again wishing she could move without her chest hurting. "I mean, I don't think I'm hooked up to a catheter or anything, am I?"

"I think they were planning to put one in later today if you didn't wake up. Come one, I'll help."

Kairi gently wrapped and arm around Yuffie's back and helped her to her feet. She kept her arms on the upper back and away from the broken ribs. They shuffled into the bathroom. After she had relived herself and cleaned up she washed her hands. She glanced up at the mirror by reflex, then did a double take.

"Why do I have a thin vertical bruise down the center of my face?" Yuffie asked, running her finger along the bruise. She noticed the bruise also went down her neck and into the hospital gown. She untied the gown and saw that the bruise continued all the way to the end of her torso.

"You have the same line all the way down your back too," Kairi said, touching it lightly. "It's the same thickness all the way down."

"It doesn't hurt," Yuffie said, "but it's purple and really noticeable."

"How did you get this?" Kairi asked.

"I don't know," Yuffie said, but the hairs on the back of her neck were raised. She remembered the duel, the entire duel, and she remembered getting cut in half, which should be impossible because she was still alive.

'_But this bruise is in the exact place where he cut me,'_ she thought, rubbing the part of the bruise on her chest. _'How is this possible?'_

"Let's put your gown back on," Kairi said. She helped Yuffie get her arms back in and then tied the neck.

When they exited the bathroom, a nurse was talking to Rikku. Upon seeing Yuffie she hustled the girl back into bed before pumping the ninja full of painkillers. She stayed in bed for the rest of the day until the hospital determined that she was in decent enough shape to go home. Her assigned doctor insisted that she remain on bed-rest for the next few weeks and not take part in any physical activity until he cleared her.

When they got home Yuffie went right to bed. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow. She slept soundly until she rolled out of bed the next morning and hit the floor. Kairi came home over her lunch break with a futon. Yuffie felt more than a little silly sleeping in the living room the same way she used to do when she was a sick little kid.

A few days passed slowly. Yuffie continued to sleep most of the time. Leon and Rikku both visited a few times. Leon cleared her schedule for the next month and withdrew her name from any contests until December. Yuffie complained because she couldn't compete in the Pride Lands' Surfing Savanna Competition or see the lions. Leon just told her to stop injuring herself.

Then, just after her friends left Yuffie got a phone call. Luckily her phone was in reach, so she was able to answer it. With the exception of trips to the bathroom, Yuffie wasn't going anywhere these days.

"Hello?" she said.

"Yuffie? Thank god," Godo said. "I just got back this morning and received some garbled message about your death from Kytes. He was hysterical."

"Oh god, I'm sorry Dad, someone should have called you," Yuffie said. "I woke up. Yeah, for a little while I was in a coma, but I'm better now."

"Are you hurt?"

"A few broken ribs, but otherwise I'm okay."

"I had a vision about you while I was meditating. Our founding head told me that you were unworthy to lead our line."

"Gee. Thanks, old man," Yuffie said. "You call up all the Kisaragi family members to tell them they're unfit to be the family head?"

"I wasn't done yet, brat," Godo snapped. "If you ever listened to your elders for more than two seconds you would understand so much more about life. He said that you needed to be tested and that I should wait for his determination of your worth before disappearing. Three days ago I had another vision of him. He said you passed. So I came home and called you."

"Were you taking anything while you were up there?"

"Shut your mouth brat, my visions are real! When are you coming home to take over the line?"

"When I turn into a dirty old man like you," Yuffie snapped. "Who even is this family head you keep mentioning, anyway?"

"Blasphemy! If you were here with me in person I would tan your hide. How can you possibly forget your family history? How can you forget our great founding father? Sir. Auron, personal attendent to Lord Braska, noble warrior monk, samurai of the Bushido code, mentor to Lady Yuna, the woman who united all of Spira. He founded the Kisaragi line!"

"Sir. Auron?" Yuffie asked, suddenly. The hairs on the back of her neck were now standing on end again. "Old guy? Gimp arm? Scar over the right eye? Ran around in a red coat?"

"He died at the age of thirty five, which was a respectable lifespan six hundred years ago," Godo said icily. "It was a well documented fact Auron lost the use of his left arm and right eye in the battle against Sin that cost Lord Braska his life. As for a coat there is no documented preference in clothing for Sir. Auron. Why do you ask?"

"I had a duel three days ago that indirectly caused my ribs to be broken," Yuffie said. "The duel was over a family insult, the man was an older looking guy with a scar over his right eye, a useless left arm, and a big red coat. He used a massive katana that was bigger than me. I got a good cut in and then he decimated me."

"What happened?"

"That's just it," Yuffie said. "I don't understand any of it. I was a hell of a lot faster than he was, but suddenly he was above me slicing down. Now, this is the really weird part… I… I could have sworn I was cut in two."

"That isn't possible. You would be dead."

"Thing is, I now have this bruise along both my front and back in exactly the same place as I was cut."

Godo was silent for several minutes. Yuffie could hear him breathing. Normally she would yell at him for getting senile on her, but this was different. She had just told him she had experienced the impossible and he had told her that they had an ancestor looking in on them. Most of the time Yuffie liked to scoff at the supernatural, but at least part of her believed in it. Ancestral spirits were real, except you didn't normally interact with them in such a direct fashion.

"The last female head lived over a century ago," Godo said. "Times have changed drastically over the years and traditional values may not be as well-valued now. I believe Sir. Auron came back to test you. And whatever else may have happened, you passed."

"But I lost!"

"You crossed swords with a legendary samurai; the very best of our line. The fact you actually managed to cross swords with him, much less cut him speaks to your abilities! Especially when you have done little to train your mind in the last several years."

"How can I possibly tell if I didn't just make it all up?"

"Look around your pocessions. He should have left you something."

"He shattered my sword," Yuffie offered.

"No, it would have been something more ethereal. Sir. Auron was a great man and you would do well to remember it." Then Godo hung up.

Yuffie slowly shut her phone. She sat there a while numbly. Nothing made sense, but she could not shake this eerie feeling that she had had contact with the dead. Suddenly, a thought slithered across her mind as if someone had just whispered in her ear.

She stumbled to her feet and limped back into the bedroom. Once inside she made a beeline for her dresser and opened the top drawer. On top of her socks lay her wakizashi. It was the same one she hadn't been able to use in the duel. She lifted it slowly, as if she expected something odd to happen. The sheath was still damp from its unexpected bath yesterday. She drew it slowly and stared.

The front side of the blade, which held the sword-maker's crest, was the same, but the back was different. Instead of the virgin expanse of steel, several white scratches now appeared in the blade. After staring at the scratches for a while, Yuffie suddenly realized that it was the old kanji spelling of the word "pass."

Yuffie just held the blade. She felt the blood drain from her face and all her hairs stood on end. She was completely spooked.

"Yuffie what are you do—oh god, you had better not be planning another duel," Kairi said, almost running over to her girlfriend.

Yuffie slowly turned to look at her. "Look," she said, holding up the wakizashi.

"Scratches?" Kairi said. "What's the point?"

"This wasn't there before," Yuffie said, pointing at the word. "It says pass."

"Okay," Kairi said slowly. "And why should we care?"

"I didn't write this," Yuffie said. "In fact… I don't think anyone wrote this."

"So how did it get on the wakizashi?" Kairi asked. "What exactly happened?"

"I had a duel with a ghost," Yuffie said slowly, "and I passed."

* * *

So any comments? Questions? Praise? Concerns? You can leave them all in a review! Signed or anonymous, they only take a minute to fill out and they make my day, so you should leave them. Seriously, I love hearing from you guys and you, at least the you that leave some way for me to contact you, know I'm always happy to respond to any review given. Like any writer, I am more than happy to get into a long conversation about my fic (and I'm pretty willing to enter into conversations about any other KH stuff). I'll see you all in chapter 23 then!

I was kidding about the praise.


	23. Lightning Yields Quality Time

MC: I'm back and February isn't even over yet. Aren't you all excited? I would have posted this sooner, but work and the proposal that is part of the giant project worth 1/6th of my Bio grade got in the way. It's amazing how many journal articles there are on bryophytes being affected by UV-B radiation and yet my partner had already cited all the great ones. I have no idea how we'll double the number of citations and cram them into the introduction for the final paper… now that I've impressed upon all of you just how busy I've been I'll shut up and let you read.

DISCLAIMER: These are getting old. Everyone knows that the only thing I own are a couple of action figures. I don't even have the ones of the lovely heroines, although I hope to correct that. Point is Square Enix owns everything. And I mean everything in this chapter because Link wasn't in it or mentioned. Except for Chile. Square Enix does not own Chile. Don't tell them I said that.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 23: Lightning Yields Quality Time**

"Oh Ifrit, would you look at this?"

"Look at what?" Yuffie asked, turning. She had massive glasses hanging off her nose. They had to have been at least an inch thick and were covered with rhinestones. "I can't see a thing."

"Take those off," Kairi said, pulling the glasses off her girlfriend. "You'll ruin your eyes wearing someone else's prescription."

"But it's just so weird! I can't believe your mom wears them on a regular basis. Are you gonna mail them back to her?"

"No, she's worried the postal service will lose or damage them and then she'll be out a thousand dollars, which is why you're not to play with them."

"Will you put them on again? Pleeeeaaaassse."

"No. You already have pictures."

"But your eyes are shut in them!"

"Because I already have reading glasses and I don't want to have to wear glasses full time."

"Fine," Yuffie said, crossing her arms and pouting. She stopped and looked at Kairi again. "What did you want to show me?"

"This," Kairi said, tossing her month-to-month calendar at Yuffie. She flopped down on the bed. "I go back to school in a week and a half."

"Sucks to be you," Yuffie said, flipping through the calendar. "I can see why you like getting calendars. You've got everything color-coded with sharpies and everything. How come the chocobo for November looks seasick?"

"Yuffie, please don't make me go back to school," Kairi whined, rolling onto her back. "If I go back I won't be able to see you again for months, perhaps all year."

"But you need to go back," Yuffie said gently, brushing hair out of her girlfriend's eyes. "Otherwise I'll have a very sad girlfriend because she never graduated law school or got her law degree. That's something you've wanted the entire time I've known you, so you'll have to return and suffer through it."

"But I don't wanna!"

"We've still got a week of complete and utter free time left. I can totally drag you along to my next gig and we can spend the whole week together, which will be a good chunk of time."

"What about work?"

"Call in sick or use some of your vacation time. The only days you weren't at work during the holidays were the days the firm was shut down."

"I would love to escape the snow and go back to the tropics for a week."

"Perfect," Yuffie said, grinning. She stood up and brushed her shorts off. "I'll pack your bag."

Kairi sat up quickly. "No you aren't. The last time I let you do that you forgot all my underwear."

"I didn't forget," Yuffie said defensively. "I just… chose not to pack them."

"Believe me, you want to say that you forgot," Kairi said. "Otherwise you're saying that you purposely decided to refuse me panties for four days. And that isn't cool."

"You're right. I forgot," Yuffie said. "Shall we pack?"

"Let's."

After Kairi had packed her bag, she realized that she had no idea where Yuffie's next competition occurred. She asked the surfer that question and got a silly grin in response.

"We're off to Chile!" Yuffie said happily. "It's a really quick two-day event and then we go on to Djose for four days for another, bigger event."

"Chile and Djose? Isn't Djose famous for having lightning strikes?" Kairi asked. "Doesn't that mean it's really dangerous to surf?"

"That's part of the fun!" Yuffie said brightly. "Actually, for about a month each year, the skies clear and there's no lightning. Instead, they get ten to twenty foot waves that are great for surfing."

"You're serious?" Kairi said. "I mean, I remember the fact you surfed in South America, but I didn't know you went to the 'capital of lightning strikes' too."

"Come on babe," Yuffie said. "It'll be a great experience."

"It will be an experience."

"I've surfed Djose six or seven seasons. Believe me, when I get the chance, I try to stay for the whole season. It's very safe 'cause we take precautions against electrocution. No one gets in the water when there are clouds in the sky."

"Okay," Kairi sighed. "When do we leave?"

**xxx**

Chile had been lovely, but shortly after they had arrived, Kairi had gotten food poisoning and so she had spent most of that stop curled up in bed wishing she was dead. Yuffie did well in the competition and spent most of her free time rubbing Kairi's back. Rikku and Leon took some of their free time to go sightseeing. Kairi didn't feel better until they boarded the boat to sail over to Djose.

Once in Djose, things seemed to get better. Kairi got over her food poisoning, Yuffie's seasickness wasn't too bad, and Leon was finally able to get away from all the girls. Kairi didn't even realized Leon needed some alone time until he basically locked the girls in their hotel room with the luggage.

"What's his problem?" Yuffie asked, inspecting a surfboard for scratches.

"Reeve started teething last week and Squallykins has been feeling like a deadbeat dad," Rikku said, hefting several suitcases. "Will you grab her other board, Kairi?"

Kairi did as she was asked. "What exactly does Leon do for you, Yuffie? You usually just say 'everything,' but that doesn't seem right."

"Well, he does do everything," Yuffie said. "I usually just call him my manager because the word 'agent' leaves a slimy taste in my mouth, but Squallykins does everything. He makes certain I'm entered in competitions and gets my name out to all the advertising people. He does my security, checks out my fan mail. He landed me that documentary—"

"The one you didn't bother telling me about," Kairi said.

"—That's right, the one I didn't tell you about," Yuffie agreed. "He also takes care of my schedule and my taxes."

"He posts your bail and finds lawyers to settle your legal problems," Rikku added.

"Although Kairi's the one who handles my bail now," Yuffie said. "Oh, Squallykins has also gotten me into therapy to deal with my kleptomania."

"It hasn't helped," Kairi said flatly. "You have terrible kleptomania."

"You should have seen it before," Yuffie said. "I remember one time we passed by a Christmas display, we were outside of the store, and it wasn't until we got back to the hotel that Leon found out I had taken all the ornaments off the tree. That included the strings of popcorn and cranberries… that's when he put me in therapy for six months. Basically Leon does everything for me so that all I have to worry about is surfing and winning. I'm a job and a half."

"And what does Two-K do again?"

"She's my posse."

"I'm a posse of one," Rikku said proudly.

"But what do you do?" Kairi asked. "I mean, you pay your bills somehow."

"I… I don't know," Rikku said, frowning. "I think I'm just Yuffie's posse these days."

"I'm paying you to be my posse?" Yuffie asked. "That can't be right. Weren't you learning how to be an assistant for Squallykins at one point?"

"I was," Rikku said, "Leon even got me books and explained things to me, but it was so boring that I lost interest. Business doesn't excite me."

"So what am I paying you for?"

"I don't know! I'll give it back! I never meant to cheat you, Yuf, I just…"

"I'm not asking for it back, I was just curious. Geeze, I'm not certain how much any of us make."

"You don't know how much money you earn?" Kairi asked.

Yuffie shook her head. "Squallykins takes care of that. And I trust him completely with my finances because he's basically family and he's noble like a lion. Like a female lion, because male lions just sit on their asses all day, while the lionesses go hunt food and take care of their babies. Leon's totally a lioness."

"So how much does Leon take away? The lion's share?"

"I think he makes like fifteen percent of my total earnings," Yuffie said, scratching her head. "We have a contract where he basically signed his soul over to me in exchange for a chunk of my earnings. I think he makes a decent amount and I'm just swimming in cash. That reminds me, Two-K, did Leon ever find out if I can swim around in my money like Uncle Scrooge does in those comics?"

"I think it was a big 'no' because you'd be crushed by all the coins," Rikku said.

"That's a shame."

Kairi just shook her head. She could not believe they just had that conversation. Someone was getting taken for a ride in this relationship, but she couldn't tell who.

Leon walked back into the hotel room, shutting his cell phone as he entered. "Yuffie, you need to get up by eight tomorrow so that you'll be able to catch the first of the large waves. The weather forecast has it hitting at eight forty-two. Rikku, I expect you to make certain she's up and moving by eight-ten."

"Squallykins, what do we pay me for?" Rikku asked.

"For assisting me in taking care of Yuffie," he said.

"So what is her official job position on our tax forms? Posse?" Yuffie asked.

"Babysitter is more like it," Leon said. "Now what brought this up?"

"We were just talking, and we realized that Yuffie's paying me to be her friend," Rikku said, "and that isn't right."

Leon reached up and rubbed the area between his eyes.

"I mean, Yuffie's my best friend and I can't be eating her out of house and home just because I'm her friend," Rikku said. "So I was wondering what I did, because I don't think I do anything at all. Should I help you with the books again?"

"No!" Leon snapped, looking like he was going to have an aneurism for a moment. "You keep on doing what you're doing, Rikku. Believe me, I've made certain you're getting paid what you're worth to this team."

"But all I do is hang out with Yuffie," Rikku said.

"You get her to and from her appointments after I get her to the right city. You're the one who actually reads all the fan mail now and thanks to you, Rikku, it's been two years since Yuffie's come to me with any lesbian relationship problems."

"I think that has more to do with Kairi than with Rikku," Yuffie said.

"Probably," Kairi said, nodding. "But Leon, I don't understand why you don't want help with the books."

"The last time she helped, I nearly lost all of our documentation," Leon said. "There are still six months worth of bills and files I can't touch without rubber gloves because they give off sparks. Rikku and Yuffie do not belong anywhere near my paperwork."

He picked up a newspaper, scanned the headlines, and rolled it up. Then Leon whacked each girl over the head with it. There was a chorus of yelps and feminine glares.

"Yuffie, stop worrying about my job and just concentrate on surfing," Leon said. "Rikku, stay the hell away from my books and do what I tell you to. That's what you're getting paid to do, assisting me by dealing with Yuffie when I want to strangle her, which is almost all the time when she's doing stupid things. And she's always doing stupid things."

"What did I get hit?" Kairi asked, rubbing the top of her head.

"For opening the can of worms," Leon said. "Running Yuffie's life, as you well know, is difficult enough without her getting notions that she needs to make things easier on the rest of us. The last time she tried to make my life easier, she blew up my car."

"That was not my fault," Yuffie said.

"You're just lucky Aeris wasn't in the car."

"That is so true," Yuffie agreed.

There was a moment of silence where everyone in the room imagined Aeris being blasted away in a fireball. A shudder ran through the group and then the conversation picked up again.

"Does anyone have any legitimate complaints with the way things are?" Leon asked.

"Nope," Rikku said.

Yuffie just shook her head.

"Can I see the original contract? Will you explain the way everything was set up when we get back home?" Kairi asked.

Leon nodded. "Let's head out, and I'll fill you in on the basics."

"Sure," Kairi said, following him out of the motel room.

Once out of the room, Kairi joined Leon at the hall railing overlooking the sea. Djose had a stark beauty to it. All along the sea were tall cliffs that collected lightning bolts like a frog snaps up flies. There were a few strips of beach, but most of the waves bashed themselves against the cliff face, trying to pummel it into submission. The beaches were where the competition would be held, but even there the surfers had to be careful, because the sand was riddled with glass from where lightning melted the sand.

"It would be for the best if someone else understood Yuffie's financial situation," Leon said. "I'm due for surgery to repair my small intestine from all the ulcers I've developed on the job over the years."

"Oh God," Kairi said, covering her mouth, "I had no idea."

"Aeris and I have been planning the surgery for a while now. Everything will be fine," Leon said. "Surgery is happening at the beginning of Yuffie's off season, so most of my recovery will be over before I'm needed again. Then, a friend of mine will take care of Yuffie and her career until I'm better."

"Have you told Yuffie yet?"

Leon shook his head. "Moment I tell her, she'll make all the ulcers worse."

"Leon, you're a good friend to both of us," Kairi said, "and we care a lot about you. Wouldn't it be better if you just quit? Yuf would understand. We value your health over your abilities."

"Sad part is that I actually like working with her. Yuffie's hijinks always astound me so much that I find myself waiting to see what she does next. Aeris says that if the job makes me happy, I should continue rather than get a new one that I absolutely hate."

"But your health."

"Stress worsens the ulcers," Leon said, "but the real cause is bacteria. Since the doctor put me on antibiotics and Aeris changed my diet, things have gotten better, but the preexisting damage is too great. That's why I have surgery planned."

"I still don't understand why you're telling me this," Kairi said. "Yes, you're worried that Yuffie will freak, but you've known her longer. You're closer to her, and you work with her. I'm just a friend."

"I'm hoping you'll hold her down so that she doesn't accidently kick me in the stomach when I tell her," Leon said, failing to keep the corners of his lips from quirking upward. "I trust you and I value your opinions. Plus, as you said yourself, you have an interest in making certain Yuffie isn't scammed."

"Is that going to be a problem in the near future?" Kairi asked, frowning.

"My friend is an excellent agent and does her job wonderfully, but her husband… leaves much to be desired. Fascinating man to talk to, but he's a thief and a con man and he wouldn't be able to pass up the chance to try and swindle Yuffie, not because he particularly wants to, but because he knows he can."

"Why are you referring these people to us?"

"Because Fran is the best manager you can find and, once you slap Balthier with a ruler and make him understand in no uncertain terms that he is not allowed anywhere near Yuffie's finances, Fran's husband is a damn good agent."

"Oh," Kairi said. "Maybe I should use a hammer instead."

"Get your keyblade out. Thing may be covered with flowers, but at least you can still bludgeon him with it."

**xxx**

"Kairi, are you certain you don't want to get in the water?" Yuffie called, "These waves are amazing!"

Kairi looked up from her beach combing. Yuffie was grinning like a fool as she bobbed along on her tiny surfboard in the center of monstrous waves.

"I don't do big-wave surfing and those waves look like they're easily thirty feet tall," Kairi yelled back.

"Coward!"

"Inexperienced!"

Before Yuffie could continue the name-calling a wave hit her, knocking her off the surfboard. Kairi wasn't worried though. They had been there all morning and this was the third time a conversation of theirs had ended like this. Most of the other surfers that had been around when they arrived had crawled out of the surf by now. Kairi estimated she had another hour of beach combing before Yuffie came back to land for lunch.

Kairi turned to look for her other companions. Rikku was still sunbathing on her towel. Leon, on the other hand, had doused himself with sunscreen earlier and was sitting under a large umbrella reading a book. The dust jacket said that it was all about finance, but when Kairi peeked over Leon's shoulder she saw it was actually _The Wizard of Oz_, with colored illustrations. Apparently he was rereading it so that he could use different voices when he read it to Reeve.

Since they were occupied, Kairi decided to continue her beach combing. She had been finding shards of glass molded by the lightning strikes. Some of the pieces were smooth, but others were sharp and rough. The glass was mostly clear, but some of it had flecks of color in them. Specks of sand were almost glued to the surface of some of the shards, but with a little work Kairi thought she could clean the glass pieces.

She had a vague plan of building a sand castle that afternoon using the glass shards as decoration. It had been far too long since Kairi last built a sand castle. The difference in sand quality and building material would reflect a welcome challenge from the soft, fine grains of sand back home. Kairi already had a vague sketch of her castle in mind. The plan might not go through, but she suspected that even if she didn't get to construct it today, she could manage to build one tomorrow or even the day after that.

She managed to add a handful of shards to her new collection before there was a sudden tap on her shoulder. When she looked over that shoulder, she saw no one, so she looked over the other and saw Yuffie grinning at her.

"Ready for lunch?" she asked.

"Don't you have another twenty minutes of wave-playing left to do?"

"But I'm hungry now."

Kairi just stared at her.

"It's a good reason," Yuffie said defensively.

"It is. It's just I've never heard you use it before. Usually you say that food is less important than surfing."

"Well I don't normally have a gorgeous woman to eat with," Yuffie said teasingly. "So do you want to grab a bite?"

"I think I can manage that. Do you have any particular place in mind?"

"I think I do," Yuffie said, wrapping an arm around Kairi's waist.

They had a lovely lunch in a nearby bistro. It was local cuisine. Not the best food Kairi had ever tasted, but certainly good enough for a light meal. It helped that she was in good company. Yuffie had her laughing the entire time while she explained her last encounter with a group of surfer frat boys. Kairi's favorite part of the story had to be when Yuffie led the addled schoolboys on a wild goose hunt that left them stranded on an island in just hula skirts.

The good mood soured, however, when they returned to the beach. The lockers Yuffie had stored her surfboards in had been ripped open and the boards were now gone. Yuffie thoroughly investigated the area around the lockers. She inspected the scratches on the metal and the tracks in the sand while Kairi observed. She even went so far as to taste the sand she extracted from the locking mechanism on the now-bent door.

She stood up and yelled, waving her fists in the air. After a minute, Yuffie quieted, stopped flailing, and brushed the sand off her shorts.

"Feeling better?" Kairi asked. She knew that the surfboards could be easily replaced, but Yuffie treasured her boards and this had to hurt.

"They stole from me, babe," Yuffie said. "They stole from _me._"

"It happens," Kairi said. "We can file a local police report, but odds are they won't find anything. We'll probably have to replace your boards and just use better methods to protect them next time. At least they were insured."

"You don't steal from a master thief!" Yuffie bellowed, shaking her fist.

"You probably shouldn't be shouting that," Kairi said, reaching for Yuffie.

"I'm gonna hunt you bastards down and make you regret the day you tried to steal from the master thief Yuffie!"

Before Kairi could shut her up from spouting anymore silly and illegal things, Yuffie charged off along the beach, presumably on the trail of the surfboard stealers. After saying a few choice words of her own, Kairi followed suit. She had no idea where Yuffie was going, but the last half dozen times she had run off like this resulted in trouble, and Kairi didn't want anymore of that.

She followed her off the beach and up into the cliffs. At some point, on the run Kairi could barely keep track of Yuffie because the surfer was so far ahead or the foliage was so thick. If nothing else, this little jaunt showed Kairi just how much of a difference there was between a professional athlete and a regular person. It also showed her she needed to spend a little less time studying and a little more time exercising this semester.

When she finally caught up with Yuffie, she found her examining a leafy tree. Some of the leaves had been torn, but that could easily have occurred from any sort of animal, or even the elements, so Kairi wasn't sure what Yuffie found so interesting. She asked her if she had found anything of significance.

"I found a scrap of fabric on this branch," Yuffie said. Using a pair of tweezers pulled seemingly out of nowhere she tried to extract it from the foliage. "Based on the degradation of the fabric's edges, I'd say this has only been there for an hour at most."

"How much do you even know about fabric degradation?"

Yuffie ignored the question. She removed the cloth and held it up triumphantly. "I bet if we kept on this path, we'll find my boards in just a little bit. Let's go Kairi!"

She grabbed Kairi by the wrist and pulled her along the path. Kairi had been calling it a path all this time, but as they traveled along it, the path had shrunk and lessened to the point that it was no more than a deer trail, which made it more and more difficult to walk along. She was beginning to trip and stumble, which finally made Yuffie slow down to a brisk walk.

Just when Kairi thought a brisk walk was too fast because of all the rocks, Yuffie gave a cry and let go of Kairi. She hurried forward and disappeared into a cave. Sighing, for what felt like the hundredth time on the chase, the redhead followed her girlfriend into the cave. She hoped to grab Yuffie before she went in too deep and got completely lost.

"No, bad Yuffie," she said, pulling her girlfriend out of the cave by the scruff of her wetsuit. "You are not allowed to explore and get lost in that cave. If the boards in are there, I'm sorry, but you'll have to blame me for your inability to recover them. You're not a professional spelunker and I refuse to organize a search-and-rescues team to find you."

"But—"

"No."

"But—"

No."

"But Kairi."

Before Kairi could giver her third and final 'no' that would allow her to drag Yuffie back down the cliff, a bolt of lightning zapped the shrub right in front of the girls.

"Back in the cave now!" Kairi shouted, practically throwing them back into the cavern.

A moment later and the entire sky had gone black. It was raining lightning. Kairi supposed there might also be some water raining down, since lightning usually wasn't this wet, but all she could hear were cracks of thunder and the lightning that almost constantly lit up the heavens did not illuminate any raindrops. Clearly Djose's "dry" season decided to cut out early this year.

"I thought you said there was a month without lightning," Kairi said. "An entire month. It's been three days and now we have a fucking death storm over our heads!"

"You know, I thought the season had come a little early this year," Yuffie said thoughtfully. "There's usually another week or two before monsoon season starts. I guess it just goes to show that global warming is acting up."

"There's going to be at least a week of constant lightning before another break."

"Could only be five days."

"Yuffie, we'll need water before then."

"I think it'll rain a little water in a bit. Based on the tilt of this floor I think at least some of this water will trickle in here." A particularly bright flash of lightning lit the cave for a moment. "Babe," Yuffie said. "Your eye is twitching again."

"I'm going to kill you. I'm going to shove you out of this cave and off the cliff. You will hope the lightning gets you, because if it doesn't, the waves or the rocks will!"

Yuffie started clapping vigorously. "That's from one of those musicals you went to with Roxas, right? I think it was the one with the smugglers and the dancing shark. Should I try one now? I'm not very good at remembering monologues though."

Kairi sat down against the side of the cave and shook her head. "Maybe I should be the one to go off the cliff," she mumbled to herself.

"Don't be like that," Yuffie said, sliding down the rock wall to sit next to Kairi. She wrapped an arm around her girlfriend and leaned her head on her shoulder. "Look on the bright side, now we get to spend lots of quality time together."

Despite the situation and the way it terrified her—impending doom usually had that effect on Kairi—she had to laugh at that. After a moment Yuffie joined her. Yuffie was right. If nothing else, they had a good chance to catch up.

**xxx**

"Shouldn't quality time be qualitative, not quantitative?"

"It should and I think it's been plenty qualitative," Yuffie said, still cheerful.

By Kairi's watch, it had been eighteen hours since they had been trapped in the cave. She had gotten a little sleep, but the thunder kept waking her up. Unless she became too exhausted to notice the noise, she didn't think she'd be getting any sleep here.

"In what way has it been 'plenty qualitative,' Yuffie?" Kairi asked, rotating her shoulders. "I think I've developed a crick in my neck."

"Let's see… you've told me all about your classes for this semester and I told you about my competitions for the next two months," Yuffie said. "Roll over and I'll rub your neck."

"I don't really consider that to be qualitative, Yuf."

"Eh, I've never been that deep of a thinker. How deep do you want our conversation to go? And I was serious about that rub."

Kairi shrugged. "Neck crick aside, I'm pretty comfortable. Your lap makes a decent pillow."

Yuffie laughed. "Well I should hope so."

"I dunno, Yuf, I always got this sense when I was younger that you're supposed to have this mystic connection with your partner. We've supposed to be able to talk for hours and just… connect."

"We've connected lots of times!"

Kairi reached up and flicked her on the nose. "I wasn't referring to that. I was talking about a connection on a more basic level."

"Babe, you think too much," Yuffie said. "You love me, right?"

"I think so."

"Kairi…"

"I'm not certain what I'd do without you, okay? I mean, I certainly trust you and rely on you more than anyone else."

"Even thought you don't think that's wise."

"You're surprisingly reliable when you have to be, Yuffie. I like waking up beside you and I like falling asleep next to you."

"And I love sleeping with you."

"That too," Kairi laughed. Through the flashes of light she could see Yuffie smiling, although she knew her girlfriend would be smiling even if she couldn't see it. That smile made her want to continue. "I like running errands with you, even when they turn into crazy adventures. Especially when they turn into crazy adventures. And I love seeing your line of reasoning in action. I never know what bat crazy thing you're going to decide is correct."

"I'll have you know I've never been bat crazy when I've decided anything. Llama crazy, yes, and I'll even admit to being crazy like a fox at times, but never bat crazy."

"Then we'll just call you crazy, eh?" Kairi said, smiling again. "I like watching you move. You're like some sort of feline and I can't help but stare. I can't stay mad at you, even when you do the stupidest things imaginable, like deciding to escape from a hospital when you still need it or explore a cave in a lightning infested area. I was serious about throwing you off the cliff earlier."

"I'm glad you didn't."

"Me too, but I was so furious with you. I've accepted the fact that you do stupid things, but sometimes I forget that fact and just get this horrible urge to strangle you. I'd deeply regret it if I ever did actually hurt you."

"Can we stop focusing on the stupid things I do? You've made your point."

"Just wanted to make sure."

"Got anything else to say on the subject?"

"I think that about covers it."

"That sounds like love to me," Yuffie said. "And that also sounds like a conversation chocked full of qualitative content."

"Praising you is a substantive conversation, eh?"

"I think so."

"You would."

"I would and I totally do," Yuffie said. She squeezed Kairi's shoulders. "Since we've determined that you love me and I know that I totally love you, we can conclude that we both love each other, right?"

"That would be logical, yes."

"Well, I think that's a pretty damn good bond there," Yuffie said. "Pop culture has built up this huge idea that there's a one true love and only one soul mate out there for each person. Love at first sight. The 'mystical bond' you mentioned. Frankly, if each and everyone of us can find someone—or a group of someones—that we care about and they care about us, well, that's a great achievement."

"I guess it is."

"Besides, mystical bonds are for the mystics," Yuffie said wisely. "Now that I've told you the secret of life, what do you say to exploring this cave? I figure it's either that or sex at this point."

"I do not want to get lost in here."

"Neither do I, which is why I'll keep my hand on the cave wall. We'll go slow and carefully check to make certain we aren't stepping off a drop."

"We don't have any flashlights and I doubt that lightning will be that useful the deeper we go," Kairi said.

"Spoilsport," Yuffie said.

"I'm not a complete one," Kairi said, starting to smile again. "Spelunking wasn't the only activity you suggested."

"You can't be serious," Yuffie gasped.

"I am."

"But this is a cave. You hate caves."

"I don't hate caves."

"Well, you hate sleeping on dirt or pebbles. You'll be uncomfortable and I know you hate being uncomfortable."

"I could probably withstand a little discomfort. Besides, it was your suggestion."

"I didn't think you'd actually go for it."

"I'm trying to be a little more adventurous. You're right in that I'll probably regret this, but I'll probably also regret if I don't ever try new things. And what else are we supposed to do while Ixion is having a fiesta out there?"

"Well damn, I hope I haven't talked you out of it," Yuffie said. "You still interested?"

Kairi kissed her as a response.

**xxx**

Kairi woke up suddenly. It took her a moment to realize that it was the lack of noise that had woken her. She stood up and looked out of the cave. While still very cloudy, there was no lightning.

"Yuffie, get up," she said, nudging her girlfriend with her foot. "Get dressed. We need to go. The lightning's stopped."

"Wa," Yuffie grumbled, pulling her tongue back into her mouth. "My mouth tastes like slate." She sat up and looked around. "The lightning's stopped, hasn't it?"

"Yes, which is why we need to go. We don't know how long this break will be." She checked her watch, forgetting that she had managed to damage the screen the other day and it no longer told time.

Yuffie walked out of the cave and looked around. "I don't think we've got much time."

"Which is why we need to get to start making our way down," Kairi said, joining her.

"It took us at least an hour to get up here and in our current condition it'll take us twice as long to get down. Babe, we won't make it down before the storm starts up again."

"What other option do we have? Wait until someone finds us? We aren't getting enough water licking it off the floor."

"There is one option," Yuffie said, looking over the edge of the cliff.

"No. No way in hell," Kairi said. "We are not jumping off a cliff."

"It's the fastest way down and I've swam in that area before. There aren't any rocks."

"You can't know that for certain. The bird's eye view is completely different from looking at the area down there. The rockless spot might be twenty yards to the right and we'll kill ourselves."

"I know I've seen cliff divers jump from this spot," Yuffie said. "We'll be completely fine."

"Those are professional cliff divers!" Kairi snapped. "They know the area well and they tell us not to try this at home!"

"Then it's lucky we're not at home," Yuffie said cheerfully as she shoved Kairi off the cliff. Then she backed up, ran forward, and leapt off after her, feet first.

Kairi fell headfirst. She could see the water hurtling toward her at an alarming rate. She tried flailing her arms and legs about in the hopes that she might alter her course of falling, but the only position she felt she could get into was a belly flop—which she thought would be more painful—so she stayed diving headfirst. Since she didn't want to actually hit headfirst, she stuck her arms out above her like a professional diver.

She slipped through the barrier between liquid and gas with barely a splash. Kairi wasn't certain how far down she sunk, but when she finally resurfaced she was hit by a large wave caused by Yuffie entering the water. When she finished choking on the spray, she saw Yuffie smiling at her.

"Come on," she said, grabbing Kairi's arm. "Shore's that way. We need to get moving, since we don't want to be stuck out at sea when the storm starts up again."

"Great," Kairi said, "Water conducts electricity and now we're in a sea of it with an impending electrical storm overhead!"

Kairi didn't have any more time to complain because she knew Yuffie was right. She found herself using the crawl, one of the faster swimming styles she knew, which she hadn't used in years. She preferred the backstroke or the breaststroke, swimming styles that allowed her more breathing time.

Despite its speed she felt herself slowing while the shore was still far away. Yuffie was also slowing. Kairi couldn't tell if Yuffie was slowing because she was slowing or if Yuffie was also simply out of energy. Kairi suspected the later, but if it was the former she was grateful. It would be completely ironic if they drowned after spending roughly a day and a half avoiding being electrocuted.

'_Come on, Hart,'_ she thought. _'Forget about the lightning. If it hits, there's nothing you can do about it, and worrying or trying to hurry is just wasting energy you can't spare. Just focus on paddling.'_

For once Kairi was able to take her own advice. She found the mantra 'stroke, stroke, breath' running through her head as she performed the actions. She was kicking at the same time, long full legged kicks, but after a while she couldn't tell if she was still kicking because she was too focused on paddling with her arms. Yuffie was beside her doing the same, although Kairi thought she might be using a different stroke. Kairi couldn't really pay attention.

Suddenly, although it seemed like eternity had passed, her hands and feet hit something solid. She stopped swimming and stood up on the rough glassy sand of the beach. She looked around, feeling disconcerted. Several people, including someone who looked like a lifeguard, rushed up to her. She heard Yuffie laugh as two men helped Kairi out of the water.

"You shouldn't be swimming right now," the lifeguard said. "The lightning storms are still in play."

Kairi insisted he call her motel and inform Leon and Rikku where they were. After they conceded to her demand she was more than willing to do what they said, which was to sit down in a small room that seemed to be part of the Coast Guard's office and drink orange Gatorade. She hated Gatorade, especially the orange, yellow, or red Gatorades. Still, she drank it because it they told her to.

Yuffie sat next to her and just guzzled her Gatorade. She never seemed to mind the taste of any athlete's drink. Then again, she was an athlete, so maybe that was Kairi's problem. Someone wrapped a blanket around both of their shoulders. She thanked them, but wasn't certain who it was exactly.

"So I hear that Leon'll be here in a minute for us," Yuffie said.

"Good," Kairi said.

"We seem to have a moderate to severe case of dehydration," Yuffie said cheerfully. "At least that's what the medic says."

Kairi hadn't even noticed a medic. She had a feeling that she might be going into shock. Not the life threatening shock, but rather an emotional one. She was going to be completely out of it shortly. Then there was the dehydration; she couldn't forget about that.

"We'll probably end up in the hospital overnight," Yuffie continued, watching her girlfriend out of the corner of her eye. "But I doubt they'll keep us for more than twenty-four hours. You'll make it back in time for your new semester."

"Yuffie."

"Yeah, babe?"

"The next time I suggest doing something other than go back to law school, like go on a tropical vacation with you, slap me."

"Never."

"Why not?"

"Because the system is that I do stupid things, you yell at me, and then we have makeup sex. It's a system that works quite well without anyone resorting to physical violence. Besides, in two weeks the only thing I'm going to remember about this trip besides the surfing is the fact we had sex in a cave and then went cliff diving."

Kairi didn't say anything. Sometimes there just wasn't any way to respond to what Yuffie said. This was one of them. She found herself leaning against her girlfriend. By the time Leon and the paramedics arrived Kairi was half asleep. Kairi knew she was pretty much out of it, but in that state she didn't mind all the fuss everyone was making. About the only one who wasn't making a fuss was Yuffie. All she did was stroke Kairi's hair and at the moment, drinking that awful orange Gatorade, felt pretty damn good to Kairi.

* * *

Don't you love happy endings? I certainly do, which is why they happen so often in my stuff. I hope you enjoyed chapter 23, I certainly had fun writing parts of it… the cliff diving argument just flowed really well. Please leave a review. If you've gotten this far in the story you must like it (or be fascinated by the taste of disgust it leaves in your mouth) and I'd like to know that. They only take a minute or three to write and they send me over the moon! Thanks for reading, hope to see you all next time.


	24. Momentary Manager and A Misplaced Kiss

Metal Chocobo: I'm back and just in time for the end of the school year! Sorry it took so long, but at least there's a new chapter. This is what happens when you're working on four different stories at once. They all take forever to complete. You'll be seeing the results (most of it) later this summer. That's about all I've got to say. Happy Reading!

DISCLAIMER: This author does not own any characters from this story. Nor is any money being made. They all belong to Square Enix and they get all the credit for being just that awesomely brilliant for making Kairi, Yuffie, and the rest of the gang. On a related note, I'm too poor to be worth suing.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 24: Momentary Manager and A Misplaced Kiss**

_Her hand slipped further down the thigh. She pursed her lips, licking them in anticipation. Then she—_

"Yuff, get dressed, we gotta go," Kairi said, tapping her girlfriend's head.

Yuffie just shook her head and continued to read.

—_caught a hold of the black lace with the tip of her pinky and tugged. Slowly it slipped further down to reveal—_

The laptop was slammed shut, nearly pinching the surfer's fingers. Kairi stared at her over the computer with a mixture of humor and annoyance on her face.

"I was reading epic lesbian romance," Yuffie said. "Why did you take away my epic lesbian romance?"

"Because we're late and you shouldn't be reading epic lesbian romance right now."

"But it's epic lesbian romance! And I was just getting to the good part."

"If it's as epic as you think it is, it'll still be there when you get back. Now put your pants on and let's go."

"But Kairi…" Yuffie trailed off when the redhead offered her a pair of pants. "I can't wear those."

"Then grab a different pair, but let's go."

Yuffie was a bit grumpy, but found some shorts that she liked better. Then she followed Kairi out of the apartment and to the trolley station. Kairi seemed to be in a rush, but Yuffie wasn't really certain why. They had loads of time before they were due at the meeting, at least forty-five minutes. Since they had the time, she asked Kairi what was the rush.

"The rush? We're fifteen minutes late," Kairi said.

"It's 3:20. We've got loads of time."

Kairi stared at her in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? Yuffie, it's 4:20."

"You're shitting me, right?"

"Last weekend we switched to daylight savings time. Didn't you notice that your TV shows weren't matching up with your clocks?"

"I've been watching all my stuff online, so no I didn't notice anything odd. Why didn't you tell me about the switch?"

Kairi slowly let out her breath. "I've talked about almost nothing else for the last month. I even reset all of my clocks Sunday night and I reminded you to do the same."

"Was Sunday the night the international mixed martial arts contest was held?"

"Yes."

"Well that explains everything," Yuffie said brightly. "I tuned you out all night, so I had no idea that you were telling me about the spring forward thingy. I guess that means we really are quite late after all."

Kairi opened her mouth as if to say something, but at that moment the trolley arrived and she was cut off. Actually, she probably could have said something, but Yuffie jumped up onto the top of the trolley before she could say anything else. Kairi used the trolley in a more traditional manner and boarded with the other passengers.

'_Mental note to self,'_ Yuffie thought. _'Stop arguing with Kairi. She's usually right, and if she's wrong, don't correct her.'_

Even if they were horribly late and she had managed to piss Kairi off again, Yuffie could still enjoy the ride. Spring had sprung in Twilight and Yuffie enjoyed the change in weather. She loved feeling the warm air blasting onto her face as the trolley hurtled along the tracks. The only low point with the arrival of spring was that she now had to deal with rainy days. She couldn't ride the top of the trolley on those days. Still, that was a minute sacrifice compared to being able to swim and surf again.

She was just starting to relax on the trolley roof when she saw Kairi exit the trolley. Knowing that she'd be in serious trouble if she didn't follow, Yuffie landed gracefully next to her girlfriend. This sudden appearance startled Kairi enough that she jumped backwards and nearly fell onto the tracks.

"Careful babe," Yuffie said, grabbing her by the sleeve. "I'd be awful sad if you managed to hurt yourself."

"Don't sneak up on me! Sheesh, you're like a ninja."

"I am a ninja."

"You know what I mean," Kairi said. "Come on, we've still got a bit of a walk ahead. I called Fran on the trolley. She knows we're on our way, but she's not happy."

"Who's Fran?"

Kairi glanced back at her. "Fran's the manager Leon hired to take care of you while he's out of commission."

"Right. I wonder why I keep forgetting that."

"It's because you never pay attention," Kairi said shortly. "Otherwise you'd know what was going on, Yuf. Do you see Irvine's café anywhere?"

"I'm blanking on the name. Remind me?"

"Island Splash. I think that's it over there." Kairi pointed to a cheery storefront. Since the letter front read that name, Yuffie figured she was right.

They walked inside. Yuffie looked around, noting the tropic deco, but was more interested in the customers. One of them was Fran, but the surfer had no idea which one. There was a variety of people, but none of them were alone, and none of them seemed to be looking for them.

Kairi walked straight up to a beautiful cocoa-colored woman with white hair and introduced herself. She looked like a model, but apparently she was the one they were looking for because she reacted to Kairi's introduction with one of her own.

"Yuffie, it is good to meet you," the woman said. She had a slight accent or affect, but Yuffie couldn't identify it. "My name is Fran ."

"I'm Yuffie, Yuffie Kisaragi," Yuffie replied, shaking the offered hand. "It's nice to meet you. Sorry we're late, but I didn't realize that we had a time shift the other day."

"I will keep that in mind," Fran said, nodding. "Please sit down.

Yuffie took the empty seat next to Kairi. On her other side there was a smiling man in a poofy shirt and bottoms that could only be described as pantaloons. It was a start contrast to Fran's business suit. When she glanced through the glass table, she had to wince at Fran's stilettos. Despite her athletic prowess, Yuffie would break an ankle in those. Unfortunately, she couldn't get a good look at the man's footgear because Kairi was snapping her fingers for Yuffie's attention.

"Fran needs your complete attention, Yuffie," she said.

"Of course," Yuffie agreed, turning to stare at the woman. This was her manager, at least until Leon got better, and she deserved Yuffie's full attention. _'I wonder what she'd look like if she unbraided her hair. It looks really silky.'_

A slight pressure on her right foot brought Yuffie back to reality. That was Kairi's silent reminder that she had work to do. At least this time the surfer was able to pay attention.

"Leon had already created your schedule for the next several months, so my job is just to make certain you do your best at each event," Fran said. "Balthier, my partner and your interim agent, will also assist in making certain everything runs smoothly."

Balthier smiled and waved at his introduction. "It's nice to meet you, Yuffie. Very charming indeed."

"Same to you," Yuffie said with a nod. "So, what do I need to do now?"

"I'd like you to sign some papers," Balthier said, starting to rise. He produced a few papers and offered them to Yuffie. "We just need a few signatures here and there, then you can be on your merry way."

"Balthier," Fran said.

"Hush my love," Balthier said, "It's just a few papers."

Yuffie accepted them, but just as smoothly as the agent handed her the papers, Kairi took them away. She scanned the pages, flipping through them efficiently. When Balthier tried to take them back, Kairi just turned so that they were just out of his reach, but in such a way that it seemed like she didn't even notice his grasp.

"I believe we need to have a talk about these papers," Kairi said evenly.

"Those weren't for you," he said, starting to frown. Without the smile he didn't look particularly attractive.

"Oh, but I promised Yuffie and Leon that I would take special care to protect her interests from unnecessary complications while Leon was sick."

"You did?" Balthier asked.

"You did?" Yuffie echoed.

"Yes," Kairi said, smiling. Yuffie could tell something was afoot, but whatever had caught the redhead's ire wasn't her, so Yuffie was thankful. "Come on, Balthier," Kairi said, grabbing his arm and pulling him from his seat. "I believe there are a few points in this contract I'd like you to explain in careful detail."

"Well, certainly I'd be happy to—"

"This area is a little too noisy for my tastes. I think we should go to the back room."

"But, really—"

"Olette, can we use the back room for a minute?" Kairi asked.

"Sure," Olette said, as she set down a drink in front of Fran. "Just don't mess up the place settings, alright?" She turned to Yuffie. "Can I get you anything? We just got in a fresh shipment of star fruit this morning."

"Something with star fruit in it then?" Yuffie guessed.

"Coming right up," Olette said, moving away.

By this point Kairi and Balthier had already disappeared. Yuffie looked around, but realized they must have moved rather quickly to disappear in only a few seconds.

"Do you have any idea what's going on?" she asked.

"I believe Leon told your friend that she needed to have a talk with my husband about his contracts," Fran said, draining her tea bag. "Balthier is a little… enthusiastic when it comes to his contracts. He dislikes taking 'no' for an answer and Kairi is just explaining that 'no' is the only answer he will receive."

"If it's a good contract, shouldn't I take it?" Yuffie asked.

"Our contract is with Squall Leonhart, not Yuffie Kisaragi. I would prefer to not enter into any conflicting contracts and so you will wait to sign any contracts with us until after our contract with Leon is expired. Balthier knows our policy, but he likes to… tease our clients."

"Okay, I gotcha. Any idea when their talk will be over? Out of the two of us, Kairi's the one who actually remembers to ask questions."

"I believe they are returning now."

Yuffie looked up and grinned. Kairi looked triumphant, while Balthier looked a bit like he had just suffered a mugging. His clothes were badly rumpled and he had a nervous look on his face. She could see that he now had a few sweat stains.

"What were you guys up to?" she asked.

"Just a little business talk," Kairi said cheerfully. "So Fran, where did you leave off?"

"I was about to discuss the upcoming schedule. The biggest event is the Charity Fundraiser. We will need you there on time and ready to be cheerful and friendly because your main job will be making the fans happy. Remember, this a charity for sick children, wrecking the occasion in any way will completely destroy your career."

"No one wants to support an athlete that bails on assisting terminally ill kids," Balthier explained.

"Got it," Yuffie said, nodding. She really did. "I always make my appointments. Unless I get hit by a bus or something. Never exclude the bus."

"Understood," Fran said, writing something down. "Excluding the bus, will you make it in time? Kairi, will you also be joining us?"

"We will both be there on time," Kairi said firmly. "This is even if I have to drag her there myself. If possible, you'll want to send a car."

"Understood." Another scribble.

They sat there for another moment. Then as if some secret symbol was given, Fran and Balthier stood up and packed up their things. They both shook Kairi and Yuffie's hands. Then they left.

"What do we do now?" Yuffie asked. She felt a little bit like this meeting was a waste of time. She would have much rather have stayed home reading epic lesbian romance.

"I was thinking that maybe we could have lunch, talk a little, then go out. If I remember correctly, there's a new movie you want to see. Something with dragons." Kairi smiled at her then flagged Olette down. "If you'd prefer, we can just get takeout."

"I'd like to eat here, and then have a date," Yuffie said quickly. "Or rather, I'd prefer to start the date now while we're out."

As Kairi began ordering sandwiches for them, Yuffie smiled. She couldn't wait for the date to "officially" start. This was a surprising treat and she couldn't wait until later. Screw the epic lesbian romance novel she was reading online; she was involved in her own epic lesbian romance at the moment.

**xxx**

Yuffie entered the dark theater. As her eyes adjusted to see outlines, she munched on some of the popcorn she had bought. After scanning the aisles she caught sight of Kairi's hairdo down a few rows.

Grinning, she scooted down the aisle and slipped into the empty seat next to her girlfriend. Yuffie wrapped her arm around Kairi and kissed her cheek.

"I got the popcorn, babe. Also got your chocolate covered raisins," she whispered. "Do you have my 3D glasses?"

"Who are you?" the girl Yuffie had thought was Kairi asked.

Her hairstyle was the same as Kairi's, but now that she could see her face Yuffie realized it wasn't her girlfriend. Her face was a little rounder and her eyes, which Yuffie could see over the 3D glasses, were blue, not purple. She was also a blonde, but the screen was dying it red. If she wasn't completely shocked at her mistake, she would have laughed at the similarities between the two.

"Oh Bahamut, you can never tell her I mistook you for her and accidently kissed you," Yuffie hissed, pointing her finger at the girl. "It was an honest mistake and I will never make it again."

"I've never met your girlfriend before," she said. "I swear I won't tell her. Who are you even?"

"Oh, I'm Yuffie," Yuffie said pleasantly, falling back onto formality as she shook the girl's hand. "Who are you?"

"Naminé," she said politely. "I think it's time you go find your girlfriend."

"You're completely right," Yuffie agreed. She stood up and scanned the theater again. This time she was certain she had spotted Kairi up near the back of the theater, overlooking everything else.

This time she called her girlfriend by name when she sat down. Bad enough accidently kissing one stranger in the theater, she didn't need to make it two.

"Hey stranger, you took a while," Kairi said. She handed her a pair of glasses. "I was beginning to think you got lost."

When the law student kissed her Yuffie felt immensely guilty. She wanted to confess everything, but it would only ruin the night. She'd confess after the movie ended, get yelled at, and then get stuck sleeping on the couch for the next three days. That was the best solution possible. She thought Kairi wouldn't dump her for this, it was an accident, but Yuffie was in serious shit.

They watched in contentment. Despite her worries, Yuffie fully enjoyed the movie. Seeing dragons soaring around and out of the screen with vikings was a magical moment for her. Even Kairi got into it. Yuffie could hear her laughing and screaming along with the rest of the audience at the appropriate points. By the time they left the theater the girls were excitedly rehashing their shared experience.

Yuffie wanted to tell her everything now, she really did, but there was never a chance. As soon as the surfer remembered she needed to spill her guts, Kairi was kissing her along Yuffie's collarbone. She wanted to say something, but Kairi had stolen her ability to speak with her touch. They fell asleep curled up together. It was a good night, even if she was carrying guilt.

To try and counter said guilt Yuffie decided to be on her best behavior. She cleaned up her side of the room and cleaned up all of her messes. Late and argumentative were stricken from Yuffie's vocabulary. She did her best to stay out of trouble. One morning Yuffie even brought Kairi breakfast in bed.

Unfortunately, her sudden change in behavior had Kairi wondering if something was wrong with Yuffie. She felt Yuffie's forehead and asked if she was okay when the surfer offered to wash the dishes after breakfast. Then when Yuffie didn't disturb her during the six hours she spent working on the taxes, Kairi knew her girlfriend was up to no good.

"What exactly have you done?" she demanded.

Yuffie's first extinct was to flee. She knew that a confrontation would reveal her infidelity and she needed to avoid that at all costs. Unfortunately, Kairi had anticipated her reaction and removed all the toilet paper from the bathroom. Feeling more than a little uncomfortable, Yuffie set her hands on her knees and resigned herself to her fate.

"Apparently, decided to use the bathroom without checking to see if there's any toilet paper."

"No, not that. I mean, why have you been on your best behavior?"

"Why shouldn't I be?" Yuffie countered. "You've been working really hard and with Leon on sick leave I need to shape up and ship out."

"Bullshit. This is one hundred percent guilty behavior. I see the way your eyes shift and the nervous twitches. You've also been doing me favors and I wouldn't be surprised if you started bringing me gifts."

"But I like giving you gifts!" Yuffie said.

"But you tend to swagger and brag a little when you do that while being as excited as a puppy. Now you're acting like a puppy who made a mess on the carpet and doesn't want to be connected to it. Fess up and everything will be easier on us all," Kairi said, smiling. "I'm certain whatever it is isn't that bad… unless you decided to put us all on a reality TV show."

"I learned my lesson about signing contracts already," Yuffie said quickly.

"Good. Now what is it?"

"It's nothing."

"What's nothing?

Yuffie had to think fast. Kairi wouldn't really take 'nothing' for an answer and Yuffie obviously couldn't tell the truth, so she needed a believable third alternative. Some might call it a lie, but she didn't consider it such. White lies were never really lies, especially if they were true in some respects.

"I kinda messed up the other day," Yuffie said, trying to buy herself some more time.

"What happened?" Kairi asked again, already relaxing.

"The other day when I was trying to find something in the cupboard I had managed to accidently knock a couple of wine glasses off the shelf and they shattered," Yuffie said. It was true, but she hadn't broken the glasses until she had accidently messed up and had been trying to prepare a fancy dinner with their special wine glasses.

"Oh geeze, Yuf," Kairi sighed. "Those are irreplaceable and I already broke one of them when we first got them. So what, do we have only five now?"

"Unless you've managed to break any more since I did the other day, then we have five left," Yuffie said brightly. She couldn't believe Kairi was actually buying it.

"Okay, well you're forgiven and I'd like you to get back to normal now. Sorry to trap you in the bathroom. I'll leave you in peace now." She smiled at Yuffie and walked away.

Yuffie sighed in relief. She had evaded capture. A moment later though, the surfer realized there was still one problem. "Kairi!" she yelled, trying not to stand up. "Bring me back my toilet paper!"

**xxx**

"Come on, Kairi, we're gonna be late!"

"Well this is a turnabout," Kairi said as she latched her necklace in place. "But rest assured my dear, we have forty-five minutes before we're due to arrive. And unlike some people, I've kept track of daylight saving time. There. I'm done."

She smiled at Yuffie as she picked up her purse. Yuffie grinned back and offered Kairi her arm, which the law student accepted. They left after that and made it on time to the fundraiser, just like Kairi had said. Mind you Kairi's hair had gotten completely blown out of place on the trolley ride over after she had spent at least an hour working on it—that was why Yuffie liked short hair, she could just roll out of bed and go—but they were there on time.

"I need to greet my fans," Yuffie said as they entered the room.

"And I need to fix my hair," Kairi said, nodding toward the bathroom. "I'll find you when I'm done?"

"See you then."

Kairi left before anyone caught sight of her. Rikku raced up to Yuffie as soon as Kairi departed. She tapped her friend on her shoulder to get the surfer's attention.

"Good, you're here," Rikku said. "Fran wants to talk to you as soon as possible. She's over by the refreshments double checking to make certain there's enough of everything."

"Thanks, Two-K," Yuffie grinned. She sauntered over to the refreshment table and greeted her stand in manager.

"Your speech starts in ten minutes. Are you ready?"

"Yup. Where should I give it?"

"On the stage in front of the microphone. Otherwise it might be difficult for everyone to enjoy your speech."

"Right," Yuffie said sheepishly. She should have figured that out on her own. She ambled through the guests, smiling and greeting everyone. She only said a few words to each one and even then it took the entire ten minutes to go five yards.

When she reached the stage she leapt up onto it. That got everyone's attention. The general conversation ceased as she walked to the microphone. She grinned at everyone and gave a slight wave before tapping the microphone head to see if it was on. The loud screeching noise confirmed it.

After the reverberation cleared the sound system, Yuffie cleared her throat. She had absolutely no idea what to say. Sure, she had prepared a speech beforehand with Kairi, but there were too many beady little eyes staring at her with adoration. Her bowtie felt too tight.

"I'm usually pretty good at talking to people," Yuffie laughed, tugging on her collar. "Kairi can't get me to shut up most of the time."

That earned her a laugh, which made her feel a little more relaxed. Crowds didn't scare her. She was a people person and these were her fans, so there was nothing to be afraid of. Yuffie laughed again and spotted her girlfriend in the back of the crowd. That made her finally remember the speech.

"I just remembered why I'm here," Yuffie said brightly. "The children's hospital asked me to come and host this event since they thought I'd be a big draw. Why would I be such a draw? Well, it might have something to do with the fact that I just won, for the second year in a row I might add, the Djose Lightening Dancing Surfing Competition. This is also on the tail-end of placing in the Pride Lands' surfing contest for the first time."

There was a roaring cheer. Yuffie had to wait a few minutes until they died down enough for them to hear her again.

"I know it sounds like I'm bragging and there's a simple reason for that. I am. You've gotta be pretty awesome to do as well as I have this year. Still, I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for a few people. First off, I wanna thank my girlfriend for her love, support, and direction. I think we're all happy for her sense of direction because mine is worse than a water flea's. If she wasn't in charge I'd still be stuck on the trolley system. Did you guys know there are twelve different routes?"

"But three of them go out to the suburbs and do almost nothing in town," someone in the crowd shouted.

"Which is why it's a good thing Kairi knew which route to take," Yuffie continued, wagging her hands around. "The other person who's helped get me where I needed to go is Squall Leonhart, my manager. He's assisted me through every single event to the point that he's managed to make himself sick. While he's recovering, Franny there is filling in on his managerial duties. If I understand things correctly, while Leon got the original offer and agreed to it, Franny is the one who did all the hard work to make tonight's fundraiser possible,"

There was another loud cheer. Yuffie was fairly certain Fran got a larger cheer than she did. When this one subsided, Yuffie was able to move into the end of her speech.

"As I already said, I love talking. However, I'm not much for giving speeches. The main reason I'm giving this speech is because I'm the main event for a sick kids' fundraiser. We're all here partly to talk to me, but mostly to support those kiddies. I think we're even auctioning off some of my stuff, including the documentary that must not be named. So have a good night everybody! It's supposed to be fun."

Yuffie tried to turn off the microphone before she left the stage. It seemed like the right thing to do; saving power and being green and all that. Instead, she ended up accidently popping its top off. Not wanting anyone to realize she broke the microphone, Yuffie quickly hopped off the stage into the crowd.

She was petted and patted by the hoard. Some of them asked her about favorite surfing sites, others about her favorite board, or her favorite non-surfing activities. There were other questions too, but they were a little harder for Yuffie to answer. Part of the difficulty might have stemmed from the fact she was conversing with at least three different people at any one time and also signing autographs. Somehow the flow pushed Yuffie to one end of the room.

The flash of a camera momentarily blinded her. It seemed they had moved into photo opts now. At least she got to sit down and not say anything while random people posed with her. This gave her a chance to think, although she couldn't actually think of anything, so she just spaced out.

"You look bored," Kairi said sitting down.

"What are you doing here?" Yuffie asked.

"I promised I'd find you once I fixed my hair. It just took me a little longer to get back to you than I expected," Kairi said, smiling. There was a bright flash. "Plus I thought my Mom might like a picture of us dressed up. She's never seen you in a tux before."

"Have you?"

Kairi thought for a moment while the flashing continued. "I think so, but I don't have any photographic proof. I do have pictures of you in that slinky black dress though."

"I have pictures of you in that dress too," Yuffie said grinning. That had been a really amazing dress. It was a shame she had accidently ruined it a year ago.

"I think my turn's over." Kairi patted Yuffie's shoulder. "If you get a chance, talk with the photographer. She's an art student and she's really sweet." Then she left.

A bit later Fran sat down next to her for a photo. Yuffie grinned. From something about her manager's manner, the surfer knew this was the last photo. A few more flashes and Yuffie was allowed to leave. Fran told her she had been photographed with every person at the event.

'_That explains why it took so long,'_ Yuffie thought. "So what now?"

"Mix and mingle," Balthier said, startling Yuffie at his sudden appearance. "Everyone's gotten a little bit of immortality with you now, so they're less ravenous for your attention. Plus the silent auction is about to start, so they'll also be busy with that. If there's anything you want to buy back, you'd better place your own bid soon."

"Yuf, are you really selling my set of bikinis?" Rikku demanded.

"You've either outgrown them or they're mine, which I can totally sell," Yuffie said. "If you really need them that badly you can buy them back."

"Then maybe I will."

"Do it. It's for a good cause."

Rikku's eyes widened. "I think that girl is bidding on my cat suit. I'd better go win them before she or those awful fanboys snatch them up!" She ran off to stake her claim.

Yuffie smiled at her best friend's antics. As much fun as it was to mix and mingle, she decided to go find Kairi. If nothing else, she'd find fans for Yuffie to talk to about something interesting.

She found Kairi with the photographer. It looked like an animated conversation and Yuffie wanted in. After all, she had already been told to talk to the photographer. When she caught Kairi's eye, the redhead grinned. Yuffie was waved over.

"Yuffie, I want you to meet Naminé. I was telling you about her earlier," Kairi said.

"Nice to meet you," Yuffie said, smiling as she grabbed the photographer's hand. The name sounded vaguely familiar, but she had met a lot of people over the years.

"We've already met," Naminé said quietly, rubbing the top of her camera.

That was when Yuffie actually looked at the girl. She should have realized this would happen; she had been thinking of nothing else for the past week. This was the girl Yuffie had accidently cheated on Kairi with. Why did these things always come back to bite her in the ass?

"When did that happen?" Kairi asked. "I didn't know you knew any artists."

"Oh, I can't quite recall," Yuffie said nonchalantly with a wave of her hand. She wrapped an arm around Naminé's shoulder. "Nams and I need to go catch up. That okay, babe?"

"Sure. I'll catch you later."

Yuffie steered the startled photographer to the other end of the room. When she was certain no one she personally knew Yuffie glared at the girl. Naminé seemed extremely nervous about the whole situation.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Yuffie hissed. "Did you tell her anything?"

"No. Of course not. I made a promise. Besides, I didn't know you were the same Yuffie I met at the movies."

"How many Yuffies do you know?"

"More than you'd think. More importantly, it isn't that big of a deal. It was just an accidental kiss." Fran called out to Naminé. "I've got to go, but I think you should tell her. She will understand." Then the photographer left.

Yuffie spent the rest of the evening keeping Naminé and Kairi apart. At the same time she entertained the guests, pleased Fran, and assisted Rikku in buying back her bikinis. The surfer still wasn't certain how they ended up in the auction in the first place. They sold for twice the price Rikku had originally paid for them. She was actually quite successful at everything. It probably helped that the function was at least half over when she realized Naminé was there.

Now everyone except for the staff had left. Yuffie and Kairi didn't have to clean up, the catering staff did that, but they were waiting for Fran to dismiss them.

"This went well," Fran said. "Balthier and I will total up the sales with the hospital staff, but I believe this was a very fruitful benefit. Go home and relax."

They exited the same time Naminé did and ended up riding the elevator together. It was the worst moment of the night for Yuffie.

"I'm glad you two got to see each other again," Kairi said. "Naminé, would you like to come over some time? I would love to see your paintings."

"I have some landscapes I think you might like," Naminé said. "I don't like to brag, but I also do excellent portraits."

"I should get your number because I bet Yuffie doesn't have it." Then before Yuffie could do anything, they girls exchanged phones and plugged in their respective numbers.

"Call me," Naminé said as they parted way.

"Will do," Kairi promised. She waved and slipped her arm into Yuffie's as they parted.

Yuffie sighed in relief. _'Now if I can just delete her number I can save my relationship for now.'_

"What's wrong with you?" Kairi asked, bumping Yuffie with her hip. "You've been acting strange ever since you saw Naminé. Did you rob a bank with her or something? And out with it or you're sleeping on the couch."

"Kairi…"

"Please Yuf. I'm serious, I need to know. My imagination has got to be worse than the truth."

They rode home in silence. Kairi obviously wanted to know, but she wasn't going to push Yuffie anymore. She was far too considerate for Yuffie to keep hiding it from her. With a sigh she gave in and decided to spill the beans.

"What are you worrying it is?" Yuffie asked, taking off her coat.

"Did you sleep with her?"

"What? No, by Leviathan no! I would never have sex with anybody else! I'm not a cheater," Yuffie said. _'At least not intentionally.'_

"Did you really rob a bank?"

"No! Babe, it's nothing that exciting. I barely know the girl."

"Then tell me how you know her."

"I…" Yuffie swallowed the lump in her throat. It was way too hard to say and Yuffie understood why. She was so scared of losing this beautiful amazing woman that Yuffie loved more than anything else in the world. "I met Naminé at the movies last week."

"Seriously? I don't remember that. Did you go again or something?"

"No. it was a case of mistaken identity. I sat down next to her at _How to Train Your Dragon_. After doing that I… I…" She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"You what?"

"I kissed her," Yuffie whispered. In a louder voice she quickly added, "It was a complete accident and…" She gulped a deep breath of air before continuing. "AssoonasIrealizedshewasn'." It had been a long time since she had been so flustered that Yuffie ran her words together.

"You did what?" Kairi asked. "Gotta speak up, Yuf."

"I kissed the girl," Yuffie said. "And I hated it because it wasn't you."

"You kissed Naminé."

The surfer nodded miserably.

"And that's why you've been acting so weird lately?"

She nodded again.

Kairi burst out laughing.

Yuffie was stunned this was not the reaction she was expected. After a few minutes and the fact Kairi had doubled over laughing, Yuffie had to ask what was up with that reaction.

"All you did was accidently kiss some girl and since then you've been acting like you killed my cat," Kairi said, wiping a tear from her eye. She started gigging again.

"But I cheated on you! You should be furious! Throw me out on my ear! Try to gouge my eye out with your car keys!"

"I don't have any car keys. Besides, I don't consider a kiss to be cheating. It's not like you were making out with her, it was just a kiss, right?"

"Yes, but why aren't you mad?"

"Would you prefer I was?"

"No."

"Why do you always think I'll get mad?"

"You do yell a lot."

"But I'm rarely truly angry."

"But I kissed Naminé."

"People kiss all the time. In some cultures it's the basic greeting. Sora and Riku both kiss me and I kiss them, but it's always completely platonic."

"Seriously?" Yuffie asked.

"Yep. Are you gonna attack me with your car keys?"

"No."

"Good. Because I was planning to figure out just how that cummerbund fits on," Kairi said, untying Yuffie's bowtie.

Now this was something Yuffie could like. "So it's okay to kiss and tell?"

Kiri's grip on the tie tightened. "I don't want you to make a habit of kissing random women."

"Got it."

"If anything like this ever happens again, promise me you'll tell me right away," Kairi said. "You're not a cheater, babe, but secrets can make you look like one and if the media had gotten a hold of it before I knew, we'd have a mess on our hands."

Yuffie wrapped her arms around Kairi's neck. "So we're good?"

"Only if you're willing to take that cummerbund off."

Yuffie grinned. "I think that can be arranged."

It was. Unfortunately, Yuffie's tuxedo was never the same again, but neither girl minded. They would forever have some very happy memories of it. Especially Kairi. Yuffie wasn't certain if she had ever seen anyone that liked bowties better. Still, that was just another part of Kairi and Yuffie wouldn't have her any other way.

* * *

Did you guys like chapter 24? If so tell me. If not, tell me too! Authors love hearing what people think of their work and I'm no exception to that rule. Reviews only take a moment, but they brighten my day and leave me happy, giggling, and motivated to write more.


	25. The Wonderful Doctor of Who

MC: It's amazing, but I'm back. No, seriously, I'm back with a new chapter for you all (you know I don't update without a story), however it's heavily Doctor Who influenced. Seriously, if you don't know anything at all about Doctor Who, you may be like Axel and be completely clueless. That's okay though, just don't insult Four's scarf in front of Roxas and we're all good. Have fun reading.

DISCLAIMER: All the characters belong to Square Enix. That's excluding Paul McGann and Kysta Rodriguez, who are real people and belong to themselves, I think. Doctor Who belongs to the BBC. No money is being made off this story and is a work of admiration (aka fanfiction), for these companies' works. Oh right, I also don't own Monster Hunter, although I wish I did, that's Capcom's baby.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 25: The Wonderful Doctor of Who**

"Oh look at that, he finally proved he wasn't a total jackass," Axel said, wiping a tear from his eye.

"I still would have gone for sweet bland predictable boyfriend," Kairi said, eating another kernel. "Some of the skuzzy things the lead did just aren't forgivable in my eyes."

"Yeah, the pig's blood thing was pretty gross," Axel agreed. He picked up the remote. "I think _You've Got Mail_ is supposed to be playing. We've only missed the first twelve minutes."

"Let's do that. I don't think I can stand to watch skuzzy's sequel. I've come to really hate that actor."

"He really isn't that attractive, but I will never get over his part in that arson movie. The bit where he danced with the flames changed my life."

"It also got you to burn your shins."

"Minor details," Axel dismissed.

They watched the movie in relative silence. Both had seen it before, so it wasn't imperative to pay absolute attention, but it was one of Axel's nineties favorites and he didn't want any distractions. At about the point where Tom Hanks realized who his pen pal was, Roxas burst through the front door.

"Keep it down, will ya?" Axel snapped.

"Dude," Roxas laughed.

"What?" Kairi asked, craning her neck to look at him. That sort of language wasn't Roxas's usual vocabulary.

"Dude," he repeated, holding up a flyer.

"Dude," Kairi said upon seeing the flyer because no other response could properly convey her reaction. That was something Roxas had already discovered.

The flyer announced that coming to Twilight Town was the widely acclaimed production, _Doctor Who: The Musical_. It featured Paul McGann, continuing his role as the eighth Doctor, and Kysta Rodriguez—some famous Broadway actress—as his companion. The flyer also proclaimed that this was the first time _Doctor Who: The Musical_ had ever been shown outside of Europe.

"I still don't see what the big deal is," Axel said.

"It's Doctor Who," Roxas said.

"So?"

"Doctor Who, Axel, Doctor Who."

"Again, so? What's so special about Doctor Who?"

"What's so special?" Roxas spluttered, slapping his forehead.

"You picked him not me," Kairi said. She would never date someone who had no interest in science fiction.

"In the history of all television, Doctor Who is the best sci-fi show ever. It first premiered in 1963 and has been on ever since, with the exception of the years between 1989 and 2005. That also makes it the longest running sci-fi show. During that break there was a movie in '96 and various other media forms of the good doctor. That includes this musical."

"Why haven't I heard of it?" Axel asked.

"It's British."

"Oh. If it's been around since '63, shouldn't Doctor Who be ancient by now?"

"It's The Doctor," Roxas snapped testily. "And he's better looking than you'll ever be."

"The Doctor's an alien who can regenerate and the regeneration process is how the BBC switches actors," Kairi explained. "It works surprisingly well. I've only seen the new series, so Ten's my favorite, but Amy Pond is simply gorgeous."

"Ten? Are you serious?" Roxas asked. "Eleven's better looking, but if you want true Who, Four's your man."

"But I've never seen One through Eight in action. You have yet to get me copies of the old stuff."

"Well, you're going to see Eight soon enough. I bought four tickets so we can go as a group."

"Excellent!"

"I am so confused right now," Axel said. "Where does Amy Pond fit in?"

"I'll show you Doctor Who tomorrow night and all will be explained," Roxas promised. He looked back to Kairi. "The play's on the 10th. You and Yuffie can make it, right? I think all the other shows are already sold out."

"Even if I can't, I'll still be there. Doctor Who doesn't come waltzing into our theaters that often."

"I hear there's even a number where the Daleks sing and tap dance."

That made Kairi pause. "Are you serious?"

"Maybe it's line dancing. I don't really know, but there's definitely dancing Daleks."

"I gotta tell Yuffie the good news," Kairi said, shrugging on her coat.

She hugged Axel and Roxas goodbye, then gave the latter a kiss on the cheek. At his surprise she explained that it was for the tickets. Then with a final wave of goodbye, Kairi left to inform her girlfriend that they were going to see a play with dancing tin cans.

When she got home, the first thing Kairi did was narrowly avoid being hit in the head by a wiimote. Instead, the controller sailed out the apartment door and hit the door to the apartment across the hall, albeit in a much lower spot than Kairi's head normally occupied. She retrieved the wiimote and reentered the apartment, this time moving a little more cautiously.

"Yuffie, what happened?" she called before entering the living room. Kairi didn't really think her girlfriend would throw anymore electronics, but better to announce her presence then be mistaken for a walking lamp.

"The goddamn Great Jaggi just fucking killed me!" Yuffie yelled, pointing at the screen as she still hopped and waved her other arm. "I was so close, Kairi!"

Kairi looked at the screen. "Velociraptors appear to be eating your corpse."

"No, those are just Jaggi," Yuffie sighed, sitting down on the couch. "I've been trying to complete the quest, Jump Four Jaggi, for the last six days and I've lost two ranks on this thing."

"What is Jump Four Jaggi?"

"It's a quest where I'm supposed to kill four Great Jaggi, giant velociraptors with frills on their necks, in fifty minutes. Usually I die too quickly or run out of time, but I was so close! Three dead and the fourth was badly wounded. Then two of these little bastards attacked from behind and killed me!" Yuffie jumped to her feet again and began pacing.

"Maybe you should take a break?" Kairi asked. "You nearly knocked me out just now when you lost control of this." She held out the controller, which Yuffie sheepishly accepted.

"But I have to complete this quest tonight, Babe. This isn't a quest they offer online full time."

"Then maybe you'll have to wait for the next time they offer it. I mean, how long will that even be? A month?"

"More like three."

"And since you're about to start your surfing season again, that isn't that big of a deal," Kairi said soothingly. "Now sit."

Yuffie obeyed. She also turned off the TV and Wii before looking at her girlfriend.

"What's up with you?" Yuffie asked. "I wasn't expecting you home for at least another two attempts."

"I left after Roxas gave me some great news," Kairi said, getting excited again. "Guess what's coming to Twilight Town?"

"What?"

Feeling a bit like she was repeating the conversation she'd had with Roxas, Kairi said, "_Doctor Who: The Musical_ is coming and the show includes dancing Daleks!"

"Seriously? Cool. Are they multicolored like the new Daleks?" Yuffie asked.

"Now _that_ I can't answer, but I have a feeling it's a no. Roxas got tickets for us both."

"When is it?"

"The 10th, and it's going to be a fun night."

"Oh, that sucks," Yuffie said, frowning. "I'll be in the middle of the Atlantis three day competition on the 10th. I leave Wednesday."

"It's okay, you can't cancel the biggest competition just to go to the theater with me."

"No, it's not okay." She kissed her girlfriend on the temple. "Kairi, I'm sorry, but this is a spur of the moment kind of thing and I just can't make it. So we will plan something for later this summer and we'll go together to a different better play and we'll love it, even if I think it's completely stupid, okay? It'll be some kick ass quality together time."

Kairi couldn't help but smile. "It's not that big of a deal, Yuf, but I'm glad you want to spend time with me so badly. So let's put the game aside and spend some time together."

Yuffie blinked and grinned when she felt Kairi's fingers on her collar. "You're right, I can be a hunter any time. Why don't we make a change in scenery and play a little Doctor."

"Doctor Who?"

"You bet."

**xxx**

"I've got bad news, Kairi," Roxas sighed.

"Me too," she said, adjusting the volume on her cell phone. Roxas' voice was always softer on the phone than in person. "Yuffie's leaving for a competition in two days and won't be back until the fifteenth. Then she'll be leaving for another one just a couple days later."

"At least your partner has a good excuse. Axel said the Doctor was stupid and that his scarf was… his scarf was…" He couldn't choke out the works.

"What did he say about the scarf?"

"That it was the worst abomination against fashion the world had ever seen and compared to Four, a mentally retarded alpaca who had been partly shaved and then Bejeweled by Reno would look like a fashion model."

"…That's really rough."

"I kicked him out. Now Reno wants to know where his dad is and why I keep crying. Half the time I haven't noticed I was even crying."

"I'm certain things will get better."

"You never insult the scarf, Kairi."

"I'll keep that in mind. Is Reno otherwise okay?"

"Yeah. Olette and Pence are babysitting him for me when I need to work and they'll take him while we're at the play. They're not musical fans and I respect that."

"So I'll invite Demyx instead? He's a fan of show tunes and while that's not the same thing as a musical, I think he'll still like it."

"Great. Then I can invite Sora and have a viable excuse for why Riku can't come. I hate that guy."

"I didn't know you and Sora were such good friends."

"Yeah, we really hit it off a while back. We like to call each other and talk about various shows and novels."

"Really? I did not know that. So will you pick us all up or will we meet at the theater?"

"Sora will pick everybody up. Riku apparently bought a car not that long ago and Sora has complete access."

"Are you sure Sora should be driving?"

"He's actually a decent driver when there aren't any distractions in the car, and the biggest distraction in his life has always been Riku, which is another reason why he shouldn't come along. So give Demyx a call and I'll see you on the 10th."

Kairi caught sight of Yuffie heading toward the door. She was carrying a partly zipped suitcase. She set the bag on a table and continued to cram a large coat into it. It looked like she was about to rip it to shreds in her attempt to pack it.

"I gotta go, Roxas," Kairi said, as she hung up. "Yuffie, cease and desist before I need to get you a new coat!"

Yuffie stopped and scratched the back of her neck. "I got everything to fit in here okay before."

Kairi took out the coat and folded it before replacing it in the suitcase. "Why are you even packing a coat? Aren't you going to the tropics? And you're not leaving for another two days!"

"Leon said to pack early this time, since Two-K nearly made us miss our plane last time. As for the coat, I always pack the coat. It's a nice coat."

"Which is why I didn't want you ripping it up. Come here, you. Yuffie, you fold it here and here and you don't crumple any of it into a ball." After the suitcase was properly zipped shut, Kairi said, "I can't believe you're missing the Who musical."

"I'm just not that big of a Who fan. Especially of Eight; he was the movie guy, right? The movie guy was a fop," Yuffie said knowingly. "No babe, I'm happy you get to go, but I'd rather watch my Who at home in bed with you."

"Kysta Rodriguez is supposed to be a looker."

"You're better looking."

"You haven't even seen her."

"I repeat my previous statement."

"What about Amy Pond? Am I better looking than her?"

"Who's Amy Pond again?"

"The Doctor's current companion, the attractive redhead."

"Oh her. Sure, she's attractive, but you're much better," Yuffie said nodding. "You're always the better choice."

"Are you just saying all this because you want to get laid?"

"No, but I wouldn't mind a good roll in the hay."

Kairi couldn't help but laugh at her snappy remarks.

Yuffie's cell phone went off and after glancing at the name she frowned. "But that'll have to wait until later. I gotta take this. Hey, the next time you go to the store, will you get me some tampons? Two-K stole the last three we had the other day and I'm worried we're going to have a giant mess on our hands."

Before Kairi could answer Yuffie had flipped open her phone and stepped out the door.

'_I don't know whether to be pleased she thinks I'm so attractive or annoyed she just gave me the brush off,'_ Kairi thought.

Yuna waddled up and gave a loud wark. Kairi smiled as she bent down to pet her. At least the chocobo would always be ready and waiting for her attention.

"Oh well," Kairi said, as she picked Yuna up. "I can't expect Yuffie to drop everything to attend to my every need now, can I? At least she was laying the compliments on pretty thick before she had to go. Let's go watch some classic Who. I'm in the mood for Two, maybe Four with Romana 1. I love the internet."

**xxx**

Kairi hit the doorbell and waited. When there was no response, she pressed the buzzer again.

"Are you certain you have the right address?" Roxas asked.

"No, she's right," Sora said. "Kairi never messes these sorts of things up. I should know."

"Thanks, Sora. Just try not to trip on that scarf, would ya?" Kairi said.

"I'm not even wearing the scarf! That's all Roxas, since I'm Five," Sora said, shaking his celery.

"But Roxas's scarf is just the sort of thing you would trip over."

"We wouldn't be having this problem right now if we had just invited Riku."

"And we would all hate it if the evening was cut short because my foot ended up his ass," Roxas grumbled.

"I don't know about that," Sora said thoughtfully. "Even while wearing shoes you're feet aren't that big and I bet we could pull them out again without medical help. Now mine on the other hand…"

"Boys," Kairi snapped. "I did not come out here today to listen to you two discuss what can and cannot fit into Riku's rectum. And unless you want me to tell your husband what you're plotting, Sora, you're going to shut up about it right now."

"I wasn't plotting anything," he mumbled, but lapsed into silence.

Fortunately, at that point Demyx decided to answer the door. "Hey guys," he said. "I wasn't expecting you so soon. Come in, come in."

At Demyx's insistence, the three filed into his living room. He told them to wait while he found the right coat and disappeared into a back room. This annoyed Roxas, since he was certain that Demyx was going to make them late and he didn't want to miss any of the numbers. Sora just laughed and busied himself by playing with some of the objects on the mantel.

"If you break any of those, you owe me several hundred dollars," Zexion said, startling Sora into dropping the snow globe he held.

Kairi leapt toward Sora and the snow globe before he dropped it. As soon as she heard Zexion speak, she knew Sora was going to drop the toy. She knew because Zexion had startled her when he spoke, and if he had spooked her, then he had definitely spooked Sora enough to make him jump and drop the snow globe. Much to her surprise however, Roxas was the one to catch the falling object before it shattered.

'_Clearly he's been spending more time with Sora than I thought,'_ Kairi realized. _'He recognizes Sora's reaction almost as well as I do, and his reaction time is faster.'_

"We didn't realize you were there, Dr. Grey," Kairi said as she climbed to her feet. She was trying to be polite, since they did nearly break one of his mementos.

"Of course I am here," Zexion scoffed. "This is my house."

"Really?" Sora asked. "I thought it was Demyx's."

"He just lives here."

"But I thought—"

"You thought wrong."

"I'm ready to see the Doctor Whooseit play with you guys," Demyx sang, skipping back into the room. "What do you think of my coat?" It was large, black, and baggy, with no particular form to it. When the hood was up Demyx was unrecognizable.

"It's Doctor Who," Kairi gently corrected. She refused to comment on the coat.

"Doctor Who?" Zexion asked. "As in the British television show?"

"The one and same," Roxas said. "This is the musical we're going to."

"Really? Which doctor stars in it?" Zexion asked, picking up a large book and flipping it open.

"Paul McGann."

"He was Eight, correct?"

"Yes."

"I have always been rather fond of Eight," Zexion said. "He has such style. What about his supporting cast? Even if he's brilliant, the musical would be absolutely terrible if the rest of the actors could not act, sing, or dance. Poor writing would also kill the musical."

"I believe most of the cast is made up of a mix of the cream of London's actors and ex-Broadway stars," Roxas said. "As for the writing, it's a musical, it's supposed to be campy."

"I suppose the musical is also already sold out," Zexion sighed, shutting the book.

"Yup," Sora said. "Roxas managed to snag four tickets. One for him, one for me, one for Kairi and one for—"

Before Sora could finish that sentence, Demyx—who had innocently been bent over tying his shoelaces—received a blow to the head from the spine of the lexicon. With a resounding crack of binding on skull, he slumped to the floor. Everyone stared in shock as Zexion withdrew the book and began wiping the leather cover off with a monogrammed silk handkerchief.

"—Me," Zexion finished.

Kairi continued to stare in shock.

Zexion walked over to the bookcase and carefully filed the lexion in its proper place on the shelf. Apparently it was volume six of a set.

"Why the hell did you do that?" she finally managed to ask.

"Oh he'll be quite alright," Zexion said. "In an hour or so Demyx will wake up and not remember anything. It does him no harm."

"You cracked him over the head with a massive book!" she cried. "That's not okay!"

"Okay is such a relative term," he said. He was feeling along the front of one of the shelves. It was the chest level shelf. "I did it because he would not appreciate the show like I would and as Sora said, Roxas only has four tickets. Besides, Demyx doesn't mind."

"That's beside the point! You shouldn't be hitting anyone over the head with a book," Kairi snapped. "And what exactly are you doing?"

"Getting out my sonic screwdriver," he said, pushing the edge of the shelf in.

With a small popping noise, the front of the shelf popped out several inches, revealing a secret compartment. Within the compartment Kairi could see several screwdrivers lined up end to end on velvet padding.

"You have a secret compartment for sonic screwdrivers?" she asked in wonder.

"And for laser screwdrivers and sonic lipsticks, yes. Although Eleven's sonic screwdriver has yet to arrive in the mail."

"Why?"

"If I kept them in a visible location Demyx would want to play with them and if he did that, he would most certainly break them," Zexion said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Ah yes, here is Eight's sonic. While his pocket watch and coat were much more iconic for him, he did have a sonic screwdriver. Pity really that One never had one."

Kairi did not laugh at the little joke.

"Now then," Zexion said, shutting the compartment with a flick of his wrist. He pointed the screwdriver at the group and smirked. "Will you hand over the ticket or do I have to remove it from your personage manually?"

Roxas pulled the tickets out of his breast pocket and offered it to the man. Still smirking as if he knew exactly how the events would play out, Zexion slid forward, stepped over Demyx's prone form, and plucked the ticket from Roxas' outstretched fist.

"Shall we go to the theater then?" he asked, smiling.

**xxx**

"So he just smashed him over the head with a dictionary?" Yuffie asked.

"It was a lexicon," Kairi said, unable to stop herself from correcting her girlfriend. "And it made the most awful cracking noise."

"Do you know if Demyx is still alive?"

"Yeah, he called me this morning furious that we never came to pick him up. When I asked him if he remembered waking up on the floor and he screamed at me that it was perfectly normal to do so and to stop changing the subject. So I just apologized and left it at that."

"Did Zexy do anything else? Do you need me to come home?"

Kairi laughed into the phone. "Besides braining his boyfriend, Dr. Zexion Grey was the perfect gentlemen escorting the three of us to the musical. If we hadn't witnessed him nearly bash Demyx's brain in—how many more violent similes for 'hit' can I use in this conversation?—Roxas would invite Zexy to be our fourth for when we go out during the school year. He gets so sick going with just Olette and me. Not enough cultured male companionship I guess."

"Axel is a lot of things, but cultured isn't one of them."

"To be fair, my cousin is brilliant in many fields and interested in even more. Roxas' passions, literature and the performing arts, just aren't two of them."

"Why are they together again? For that matter, are they together again?"

"Yeah, Axel came to apologize on bended knee and he caught Roxas right after we got back from the play. So Roxas was in a great mood and took him back without even making Axel beg."

"So now answer my first question."

"The sex mostly. Then there's Reno and they love making fun of things together. Plus Axel is still full of puppy love for Roxas. Remember, he became monogamous for Roxas."

"Babe, what were we talking about before the whole Akuroku thing took over the conversation?"

"I don't remember," Kairi laughed. "…Right, Zexion walloping Demyx's bean."

"That sounds like a sex act."

"Just a violent one."

"Okay Squallykins," Yuffie snapped. Clearly she wasn't talking to Kairi, but the surfer's tone startled her anyway. "I'll be there in a moment, just let me finish talking to my girl."

"You've gotta go?" Kairi asked softly.

"Yeah," Yuffie sighed. "I mean, sure, I'll have fun when I'm out on the beach again, but I'll miss talking to you. You need to come with me before you have to go back to law school. When you're there I never see you."

"Never's a bit strong of a word, but yes, I will be going with you to the Islands in August. Lazy relaxation and all that."

"I love you. No, not you, Squallykins, although I'm very fond of you too."

"I love you too, Yuf," Kairi grinned. "Now I'm going to hang up so Leon stops freaking out. Can't wait to see you home again."

"Bye babe."

"Bye Yuf."

Kairi rubbed her eyes after she hung up. She was sick of having to do most of her conversing with Yuffie on the phone. That had to change.

'_Otherwise I'm going to go bonkers,'_ Kairi thought.

She got up to her feet. "Yunie," she called. "We're going for a walk."

Going for a walk with Yuna took almost no preparation. All Kairi needed to grab were her shoes, a bag in case Yuna needed to use the great outdoors as a commode, and Yuna's leash. Adding Yuffie to the mix tended to triple the prep time for getting out the door, but Kairi could never tell if that was her fault or Yuffie's.

While Twilight Town boasted of many large and glorious parks, the one across the street from Kairi's apartment was a middling sized one. There were a few sporadically placed trees, a baseball field that doubled as a soccer field, and a set of children's climbing equipment. Not one of those gracious primary colored plastic monstrosities cities were so keen on putting into parks, but an old school wooden and metal one, with a metal slide painted red, monkey bars, and a climbing gym shaped like a buckyball. There were also three swings that Kairi liked to use with Yuffie in the evenings after the small children had gone home for the night.

Since there were children on the equipment and in the field, Kairi decided to take Yuna for a stroll around the perimeter of the park. A simple walk, with ample stops for Yuna to sniff at trees and signs. Yuna circled one tree near the baseball diamond in hopes of finding French fries under it like they did the first time they visited the park. Since then, the bird was ever hopeful that she would find more treats under the tree Yuffie had dubbed the "French Fry Tree."

"Can I pet your bird?" a little girl in a tee ball uniform asked.

Kairi knelt down next to Yuna and stroked her crown feathers. "Alright," she said after she was certain the chocobo was calm. "But be gentle and let her sniff you first."

The girl brushed her bangs out of her eyes then reached for Yuna. As she petted the bird's beak the ring of grass she had twined around her finger broke on the tip of the beak. The girl looked unhappy at the loss of her jewelry, but Kairi offered her one of Yuna's feathers and that brightened her face. She ran the feather through her fingers several times before sticking it through one of the built in holes in the baseball cap.

"Xion!" the coach in the corresponding team colors yelled, causing the girl to swivel her head. "Come back here!"

"Bye-bye," she said softly, waving her fingers. Kairi waved back. Then she ran back to the baseball diamond.

"You handled that rather well," a man said, causing Kairi to twist around.

"Children like chocobos," she said defensively, feeling foolish for sounding defensive. "You learn how to deal with them."

He leaned back on the park bench hold his hands up in a surrender pose. "I mean no disrespect, miss," he said in his British accent.

It was at that moment Kairi's jaw dropped. She recognized that silly greased back blonde hair and goatee. While he was dressed differently, jeans and a blue turtleneck instead of a Victorian gentlemen's suit, he was still the same man she saw singing and dancing last night.

"You're the Master!" she yelped, blanking on his actual name.

"While I will answer to that name, especially when uttered by a pretty girl like you, most people tend to call me Luxord," he said smirking. "I take it you have seen my show."

"Last night," Kairi said, blushing. "I'm so sorry, of course you aren't really the Master, but you were so good at it and when I saw you here I blanked on your actual name."

"I'm so glad you liked my performance, my dear," Luxord said, kissing Kairi's hand.

"Your first musical number had to be my favorite part of the entire show," she said, sitting down next to him on the bench.

"Even better then the dancing Daleks?"

"Surprisingly, yes. It was very reminiscent of the Simms Master's dance number in _Last of the Time Lords_."

"You flatter me. The similarity makes sense because we added 'I Can't Decide' after seeing John Simms' performance. That was my choice after I accepted the role of the Master. Now it's always a crowd favorite."

Kairi couldn't help but laugh. "I can't believe I ran into you in my favorite park."

"Fate brought us together again just so we could talk. I feel rather ashamed I didn't notice you in the theater last night."

"Well Sora, one of my companions, garnered most of the attention last night when he fell into the orchestra pit."

Luxord laughed when he heard that. "I remember that. I remember that moment and nearly started laughing. Is Sora your boyfriend?"

"No, he's married to someone who wasn't there," Kairi said smiling as she thought about her best friend.

Another thought crossed her mind when she realized the situation. She was sitting next to an actor she had just been gushing and blushing over on a park bench. He had his arm along the back of the bench behind her and was leaning in a bit, but not close enough to be creepy. Luxord had also kissed her hand and had indirectly asked her about her relationship status.

'_By Ifrit, he's hitting on me,'_ she almost laughed.

It had been a while since a man had last hit on her. Too much time at Tifa's—where everyone knew about Yuffie—and the local gay hot spots. Still, Kairi was pretty certain she remembered how to diffuse the situation.

"But Sora wouldn't have even been there to fall in the pit if my girlfriend hadn't had work. She was really bummed she missed your duel with Paul McGann," Kairi continued. A little white lie never hurt anything, especially since she knew Yuffie really would have regretted missing the duel if she had known about it. The part where Luxord swung down to the stage from a balcony via chandelier was amazing.

"That was the best part of practice," Luxord agreed, stroking his beard. "I perfected my Tarzan yell because of it. Nearly brought Paul to tears because I just wouldn't shut up."

Kairi had to laugh.

"So what sort of work forced your girlfriend to miss my magnificent performance?"

"She's a pro surfer."

"A lesbian pro surfer…" Luxord pondered, fiddling with one of his piercings. "I bet there aren't too many of those. Though it is surprising just how many gay athletes there are."

"Half of the blitzball players out there are gay."

"I believe the Coliseum's current line up is completely gay. It's also the strongest team they've had in years. I believe they'll take the cup for the third time in a row."

"Mmm hmm," Kairi nodded.

"Well, it's a shame you're taken and gay," Luxord said. "You are gay and not simply bi, aren't you?"

"Definitely gay and in love," she said.

"Just a shame really," he sighed, shaking his head. "You have the best set of legs I have seen in ages. I wish I could take you out for a drink."

"You still could," Kairi said thoughtfully. "Are you by any chance a breast man?"

"Why yes I am."

"Then I know the bar for you," she said, snapping her fingers. "A good friend of mine runs a great bar and I know she would love to spend the night flirting with you."

"Then shall we?" Luxord asked. He stood and offered her his hand. "Do you need to drop your bird off somewhere?"

She shook her head. "Tifa has a room Yunie can stay in."

"Then let us depart at once."

So arm in arm, Kairi and Luxord skipped off to the pub for a nightcap, even if it was still the middle of the afternoon. They were probably going to spend all evening there and she had a feeling Luxord was going to get rip roaring drunk. If nothing else, Kairi couldn't wait to tell Yuffie about her experience with the Master.

* * *

Sorry there wasn't a scene with the actual musical in it. It's just I'm a writer (perhaps even an author someday, gasp), but not a playwright. No matter how hard I'd try, the musical would not be as epic as I imagine it. So if anyone wants to try, go for it. Next time will be our more regularly scheduled broadcasting. So please leave me a review and tell me what you think. Thanks for reading!


	26. Archenemies Unite

MC: This was supposed to be finished and posted ages ago and I actually finished this chapter about two months ago. However, my editors took a bit longer to finish looking this over than I thought they would. Maybe I should have found someone else, but whatever the case, it's finally up now. I have no idea when chapter 27 will be finished, but I will post it someday.

DISCLAIMER: I own no ownership of the characters, or the places. They're all owned either by Square Enix or Disney.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 26: Archenemies Unite**

"I'm so bored," Yuffie whined.

"You're always bored," Leon said, not looking up from his book. "Play with your game boy or read a book. If you really hve to, call Kairi."

"She's in class. I can't bother her if she's in class."

"I don't particularly care what you do. Just stop bugging me."

Yuffie just huffed and glared at her salted nuts. For some reason airliners always gave out lightly salted peanuts. Occasionally the peanuts would be in a little silver packet of trail mix, but they usually came plain. She was sick of nuts. She was sick of her seat. She was sick of being thousands of feet off the ground. Most of all, she was sick of being sick.

"I gotta…" Yuffie moaned before clapping a hand over her mouth and leaped out of her seat. This was her fourth trip to the bathroom and she had already used up both her and Leon's airsickness bags. The flight attendants long ago stopped telling her to stay in her seat. Remarkably, vomiting into a half full pitcher of orange juice has that effect.

"Feel better?" Leon asked after Yuffie returned to her seat.

She shook her head. "I just want off this plane," she whispered. "Why do we have to travel by plane?"

"Because traveling by ship is even worse on your stomach and it takes longer. Now buckle up. We're due to land in a few minutes."

Yuffie did as she was told, but she wasn't happy about it. At least they were able to land before she was sick again. She was off the plane as soon as she possibly could. Leon could barely keep up. She took a deep breath of the stale airport air and sighed in relief. The ground was very firm and solid.

"Where to now?" she asked.

"You're awfully chipper considering the fact you were puking your guts out a few minutes ago," Leon growled. "Get our bags and your boards."

They walked out of the airport into a hot, arid plain that was the Pride Lands. The Pride Lands stretched on for many miles in various directions, and this little town known as Pride Rock sat atop a cliff surveying the rest of the plains. On the flip side, the back of the cliff front quickly sloped down to the Indian Ocean and made an excellent venue for surfing.

This wasn't Yuffie's favorite place to surf, but it was her favorite surfing town. All the people were so nice and friendly and some of Yuffie's best surfing buddies had Pride Rock for a hometown.

"Kisaragi!" A young man in swim trunks yelled out and waved at her from across the street. The woman next to him also waved.

"Fuzzball! Nala!" Yuffie yelled back, shoving her bags into Leon's already overloaded arms and running off to greet her friends. She slung her arms around both of the kids. "I see you have yet to grow a beard, Simba."

"Cut it out Yuf," Simba growled. "I can totally grow a beard."

"You can't babe," Nala laughed. "But it's great to see you again, Yuffie."

"Is it already October?" Simba asked. "You only come here in October for the competition. How is it possible that a year has already passed by?"

"Leon had surgery, so that took up a good couple of months… ah, oh! I forgot to tell you guys about what happened to me right before the competition last year! I met my first ancestor!"

"Tell us more," Nala said. "Better yet, tell us about it after we find Rafiki. He knows all about ancestor visits."

"Okay, but the story isn't that long," Yuffie laughed.

She was nearly bursting to tell the story of Sir Auron by the time they finally found Rafiki. Once she had finally found him she spilt her guts on her meeting with Auron and then moved on to everything else she had experienced since she had last had a conversation with the shaman. Simba and Nala listened quietly, but Rafiki occasionally asked questions, which Yuffie did her best to answer.

When she finally finished, Rafiki leaned back on his tree branch and stroked his beard. After some time elapsed he spoke. "The past returned to the present and then became past again. Clearly you have already learned the lesson you were supposed to learn, otherwise the past would still be present."

Yuffie nodded, not completely certain she understood what Rafiki meant, but happy he hadn't hit her over the head with his walking stick. He used to do that to Simba quite often when she first started visiting the Pride Lands.

"Anything else you wanna say, Rafiki?" Nala asked.

Suddenly the shaman hit each youth over the head with his cane in quick succession. "Don't think for a moment that any of you are too old or too bright to not still be taught a lesson," he said, shaking his finger at them. He then smiled and shooed them away.

"His arm is just as strong as ever," Yuffie said, rubbing the top of her head.

"That's why I generally agree with everything he says," Nala said. "The only time I ever get hit is when I'm with this idiot who'll argue with Rafiki until he gets so angry he starts hitting everyone over the head with the lesson cane." She jerked her thumb at Simba. "I think he must have brain damage from being hit too many times, otherwise you'd think he would have learned to stop arguing with Rafiki. Or at least how to dodge."

"Did you hear that, Yuffie?" Simba demanded. "She's blaming this on me! She always blames everything on me! It's just like her to sink her fangs in and rip me to shreds—Owww!"

Simba's rant was abruptly cut short by Nala whacking the back of his head. Yuffie suppressed a snicker. They always argued like this and the fact they were supposed to be adults had yet to change that.

"Will you two quit fighting or get a room?" Yuffie asked after Simba's failed attempt to noogie Nala landed him in a chokehold.

"We're not a couple," Simba snapped when Nala released him. As he brushed himself off he added. "Besides, I'd never date a girl who beat me up everyday."

"Yuffie, are you still with Kerri?" Nala asked, attempting to change the subject.

"Kairi yes," Yuffie said, nodding. "If you're not seeing Simba, are you involved with anyone?"

"Not currently, but I have a few prospects in mind."

"Who would you date?" Simba demanded.

"None of your business," Nala snapped. "Anyway, aren't you late for your lunch with Timon and Pumba?"

"Ah crap," Simba said, clapping his hand to his head. "Seeing Yuffie made me completely forget." He ran off, presumably to meet up with his friends.

"You like him," Yuffie said.

"Yeah. Although I don't know why. He's an idiot."

"Men take longer to mature. By the time he's twenty-five he should have reached some level of maturity."

"I don't know if I can wait that long."

Yuffie shrugged. "So tell him. I can tell he likes you."

Nala shook her head. "You heard him. He doesn't even like the idea of liking me. I'll always be a bro."

"Better than being a ho."

"At least he'd see that I was a girl then," Nala sighed. "I have to baby sit my cousins. I'll see you later after you settle in? Maybe at the beach tomorrow?"

Yuffie nodded. "See you then, kiddo."

**xxx**

"But I don't want to play match maker, Kairi!" Yuffie snapped. "I don't have the time or patience to hook two love struck teenagers together. And I'm not good at being subtle or solving disputes. It won't work babe."

The cat doll of Kairi this argument was directed at said nothing.

"And if they're supposed to get together they'll get together even without my help. So I'm not needed," Yuffie continued. She turned to look at the Kairi cat doll. "But they're just so damn stupid. Even Nala! Especially Nala because she won't tell him how she feels. I mean, Simba's at least got the excuse that she'd kick his ass if she didn't like hearing he liked her."

She paused to stare critically at the doll, who still refused to say anything.

"I've never understood this moping around suffering in silence shit. You like a person, you tell them. That's what I did with you and look how that turned out! I never stressed about a crush and I never will. You haven't either, right babe?"

She received no answer.

"Exactly, so that's why I hate the fact I've got to help them settle this. Teenagers are so stupid… not that they're still teenagers anymore, but they're only barely not, so that doesn't count. Why won't you say something?"

The doll continued to sit on the edge of the bed doing nothing. With a sigh Yuffie picked up the toy and leaned against the wall. She hugged her Kairi cat doll tightly.

"I wish you were the real Kairi. Then I wouldn't be having stupid arguments with myself." She smiled at the doll. "Then I could be arguing with you."

"Hey Yuffie," Rikku said, knocking on the door. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, I'm just missing Kairi a bit," Yuffie said. "Let's go meet everyone else."

So Yuffie grabbed her board and followed Rikku out of the house. When they made it to the beach they found Leon in conference with Rafiki as Simba and Nala milled about the beach. Since the 'adults' were busy, Yuffie went straight for the ocean.

In many ways the ocean near the Pride Lands was similar to that of Djose. Both were sheer cliff faces that the ocean crashed into rapidly and ferociously. However, unlike Djose, the Pride Lands rarely had stormy weather over their sea and even fewer lightening strikes, so the textures of the rocks and sand were much finer without any lumps of glass. An interconnecting set of caves had formed within the cliffs due to erosion, differing water levels due to climate change, and the complex set of currents. The caves were of varying sizes and stretched on for miles along the coast and under the savanna. While a person could find her way into the cave system in the plains, especially if she looked in a canyon, entries into the system were far more common along the cliffs. Some of the biggest and most attractive caverns were only accessible from the water by SCUBA.

As Yuffie understood it, a long time ago youths from Pride Lands would swim down through some of the underwater tunnels and into the caverns. Once there they would retrieve a few of the most unusual looking rocks and bring them back to the village elders. It was a test of endurance and merit that was put to a halt after the turn of the last century due to the high rate of deaths. Rafiki was the last man alive that remembered the dives, although Yuffie didn't know if she believed he actually went on one. He was old, but not that old.

With all that in mind, Yuffie wasn't surprised to see cave openings along the cliffs. During last year's competition—the Pride Lands' Surfing Marathon was an attempt to travel by surfboard along the entire length of the cliff face. Often participants found themselves paddling along using their boards as a flotation device when the waves refused to help—Yuffie had slept in one or two of the caves. What did surprise her was that she caught sight of something bright orange and plastic peeking out of a cave mouth.

Being of an inquisitive mind, and since the waves were terrible, Yuffie decided to investigate. She paddled over to the cave and hauled her board onto the rocks. The orange thing was actually a plastic cooler. She grabbed the cooler and unzipped it. Inside there were packets of meat and cheese. Nothing too special.

When she felt the hand on her shoulder, Yuffie automatically struck out. She hit stomach and immediately regretted her actions. This was probably just some poor schmuck who wanted to have a picnic in the caves and here she went punching him in the gut. She turned around to apologize, but stopped as soon as she saw who it was.

"Seifer? What the fuck are you doing here?" Yuffie demanded.

"It's nice to see you too, Yuffie," he said, smirking. Apparently he had recovered enough to be a jerk again.

"Nice? The last time I saw you, you were shouting that you were going to kill me as they dragged you off. The time before that you tried to beat me to death!" Yuffie yelled, getting angrier as she thought about her previous experiences with the man. "Seeing you is never nice."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Seifer said.

"You're a homicidal maniac!"

"I've gotten better. While I was in prison I was in mandatory anger management classes for the full three years. I've learned to control my rage and I've learned to let go of my resentment toward you for everything you've done to me."

"I've done to you? What about what you've done to me?"

"You stole my woman and sent me to jail for three years."

"And I repeat, after you tried to beat me to death!"

"Listen, Yuffie, I'm sorry for what I did to you, but that's in the past now," Seifer said, clearing his throat. "You asked me what I was doing in the Pride Lands and I'll tell you. I'm a bounty hunter now, because as a convicted felon I can't do my old job, and I need your help catching a criminal."

"I wouldn't help you even if it was jumping off a building!" Yuffie screamed. "Why would I help you catch a criminal, when that could put me in the way of bodily harm?"

"Because if you don't I'll run out of money, have to return to Japan, and we'd probably end up seeing a lot of each other," Seifer said. "Besides, we were once friends."

"For like two seconds."

"Do you want me sleeping on your couch?"

"By Leviathan no."

"Then help me catch Scar del Leon."

"Scar del Leon? Wait a minute isn't he the guy who killed Mufasa, Simba's dad?" Yuffie asked. "He's crazy and you want me to go after him?"

"His bounty is due to the fact he's started a Neo-Nazi group here in these caves somewhere and he's considered a terrorist. We need to take him out."

"Shouldn't you get a local to help you? You know, someone who has more than a vague understanding of the cave system? Two people can't take on a Nazi cult anyway."

"I accidently insulted the old man with a stick my first day here and now whenever I go near the village he hits me on the head until I go away, so I can't talk to anyone about being my guide."

"And you haven't broken his stick or beaten him up for hitting you?" Yuffie asked incredulously.

"As I said, I'm a changed man." Seifer shrugged. "I save my anger for the criminals I capture. As for the other problem, I won't be the only two going after him, I have associates."

"Oh, well that's a relief," Yuffie said sarcastically.

"Come on, let's go," Seifer said. "If we stay here any longer Scar might find us, which would not be good."

Yuffie couldn't argue with that. Normally it would have been against her better judgment, but considering the circumstances, Yuffie followed Seifer. They ended up in a small cavern; the entrance to which had been completely camouflaged. The inside of the cave looked a bit like army barracks and there were many monitors on one wall. Two people pointed guns at them when Yuffie entered. She recognized one of them.

"Oh hell no," Yuffie snapped. "Gippal's here? Why is Gippal here?"

"Do I know you?" Gippal asked.

"Yeah, I'm Two-K's best friend, the girl you used to date before she dumped your ass for cheating. Seifer, why is Gippal on your team?"

"He's a good techie. Then Fuu over there is the muscle."

The woman just nodded at Yuffie. Yuffie tried to smile in return, but she couldn't muster it. Instead she turned to glare at Seifer again.

"You think three people are going to take down an organization?"

"I think four people are going to," Seifer said. "You have amazing stealth. After all, you're the Great Ninja Thief Yuffie."

For once Yuffie found her epithet to be a burden.

**xxx**

'_I can't believe I'm doing this,'_ Yuffie thought grumpily. _'If Kairi ever finds out about this she'll kill me.'_ She shifted a little so that she could get a better view. _'The worst part about this is that I'm putting myself in danger for _Seifer_ of all people. Damn him for calling on my honor, that was a dirty move.'_

"Do you have a visual?"

Yuffie nearly screeched and clawed at her ear. Whoever just tried to blow out her eardrum with that goddamned piece of technology Gippal shoved in her ear was gonna get it. The thing was mostly good for static and she wouldn't be surprised if it gave her a shock or three before she could pull it out.

"Yuffie, what's your position?" She was fairly certain that was Seifer. "Do you see Scar?"

"Yeah, the bastard's down there with all his culties acting as his lap dogs."

"CULTIES?" Fuu asked.

"Oh cultlings? Obsessed toady followers? I don't know what to call them," Yuffie said. Since joining Seifer's merry band of men she had gotten used to Fuu's poor conversation skills. Being foreign with a bunch of other foreigners in a completely different foreign country tended to cause these sorts of problems. Yuffie kinda thought she might be Swiss. Or Swedish. One of those northern countries with snow. "Ooo, I know, they're jackals."

"They're hyenas," Seifer said grimly. "Which means they're cats that hunt in packs. Dangerous."

"Seriously? I thought hyenas were dogs. They look so doggy."

"CATS."

"I don't care what the fuck they are," snapped Gippal, causing more feedback on the com. "I just want them subdued. Yuffie, have you set up the camera yet?"

"Yeah yeah, I stuck it on the ceiling near the lighting system with the ducktape just like you told me to twenty times."

"Did you turn it on?"

"Course I did," she said, quickly leaning out to grope for a switch. "Maybe you've got the wrong channel."

"Of course I don't!"

"Stop whining and rescan for the channel," Seifer ordered.

From Gippal's silence Yuffie figured he was doing what he was told. She resisted the urge to cackle, instead she settled for a big smirk as she flicked the camera to life. While doing so she lost the lens cap. The piece of plastic fell one hundred feet or so and landed squarely on the head of a particularly stupid looking hyena disciple, knocking him out. Yuffie couldn't believe _that_ of all things was her good luck on this adventure.

"They're working," Gipple said. "I can see Scar del Leon."

"Duh," Yuffie said, I can see him too. I can probably hear him better too."

"If you're still clinging to the ceiling, creep back to the ledge," Seifer said. "You can't let anyone spot you."

"Like anyone's going to look at the ceiling of a dingy old cave when Scar's blathering on about genocide?" Yuffie asked. Still, she crawled back to the ledge. "How long do his speeches usually last?"

The response was unanimous. "Hours!"

She sighed and began crawling down the back tunnel to get out of sight. A few moments later Yuffie dropped down next to Seifer and tapped him on the shoulder. This startled him so much he swore.

"What the hell, Yuffie?" he hissed. "Don't sneak up on me."

"You want me to sneak, so I sneak," Yuffie said. "What are we supposed to do now?"

"We wait until Scar's alone then nab him."

"What if that never happens?"

"Then you two and Fuu swoop in and yank him out in front of the whole cult," Gippal said.

"That's Plan B?" Yuffie asked, horrified. "That's a terrible Plan B."

"Fuu is supposed to act as a diversion with large explosives. That gives us enough time to grab Scar," Seifer explained. "If everything goes right, no one will actually see us take him in either plan."

'_Plans never go right, at least not ones I didn't come up with,'_ Yuffie thought shaking her head. In any case her disapproval didn't matter, she had no better alternative, so she had to wait like everyone else.

Waiting was the hard part. Sure, the actual mechanics of a kidnapping were physically difficult and there was great risk to life and limb, but Yuffie could handle that. What she couldn't handle was the wait. Even after years of meditation training she had yet to learn patience, at least not unless she was interested in the subject. Sitting doing nothing only reminded Yuffie of the energy coursing through her veins and any cramps or rocks bothering her.

Since she was stuck with Seifer she decided to talk to the bugger. Yuffie sidled up to the man and then poked his shoulder. When she had his attention she asked him about the only thing they had in common these days: Rinoa.

"Haven't seen her since my arrest," he said. "I've realized that she's bad news. That's true for the both of us, although she's always been less of a concern for you than she was to me. You had the good sign to get out at the first sign of trouble and I didn't. Now we're divorced, I got rid of her."

"Good for you," Yuffie said in surprise. "You were so possessive of her."

"I hear she's gotten knocked up once or twice since then. Good guy, although he must be a schmuck to be hooking up with Rinoa."

"We both hooked up with her."

"Did I ever say we weren't schmucks?" Seifer asked. "At least you had the good sense to get out at the first sign of trouble. I wasn't that smart."

"You were in love with her when our shit went down," Yuffie said softly. "I was only starting to fall for her, so it was easier for me to get out of the mess and even then I didn't totally make it out in one piece."

"There is once piece of good news though."

"Oh?"

"Rinoa's gotten as fat as a cow."

Yuffie laughed out loud. It was an entirely inappropriate time, but she couldn't help it. The image of the sleek smooth Rinoa as bloated as a balloon tickled her sensibilities. Seifer clamped his hand over the ninja's mouth to stifle the noise. She nearly bit down on the hand, but she found herself still feeling too comfortable, too safe, to do that to Seifer now. She was able to quiet down quickly enough that none of the cult members noticed.

When Seifer pulled his hand away Yuffie noticed a grin on his face too. Clearly he also enjoyed Rinoa's current state of affairs. They both watched Scar lecturing to his disciples for a moment before continuing their conversation.

"How are you and Kairi—that's her name, right? Kairi?—doing? Stable and all that."

"We're like this," Yuffie said, holding up two fingers that were crossed. "Our anniversary's in a month and a half."

"How many years?"

"It'll be five."

Seifer gave a low whistle. "That's about twice the length of my marriage. You're still in love?"

"More in love with her every time I see her," she said. "And I will gut you if you even think of harming her again."

"I can take you in a fight." He smirked. "Proved it last time."

"I'll get after you on my terms. It'll be a stealth attack and it'll be damn painful. You will completely regret it."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"You involved with anyone?"

He shook his head. "Just hookers."

"Seriously? Hookers?"

"It's a clean business transaction. I get sex, they get payment and there are no illusions about what's really going on. I'm too fucked up to actually get involved in a real relationship."

"Ah."

"Look," Seifer said, sitting up. "Some of the kids are leaving. I think this is our best chance, he's never alone and rarely has less than five converts surrounding him."

Yuffie leaned in for a better look. "How do we do this?"

"Fuu," Seifer hissed to his earpiece. "It's show time. I want the planted fuses along two o'clock blown, then you come in from 5 o'clock so we can run in and grab Scar." Seifer looked like he wanted to say more, but any chance to do so was cut off by an ear-shattering explosion.

'_Does she want the cave coming down on us?'_ Yuffie wondered as she ran down the steps to the cavern floor.

Seifer was right behind her. She was supposed to get Scar's attention by smacking him as hard as she could, thereby allowing Seifer to tackle him and carry the criminal away. She didn't know how well Seifer could run while carrying a full grown man, but that wasn't her problem. She just had to make certain she could knock a full-grown man out in one hit. She knew she had the necessary force to incapacitate Scar; her problem was accuracy. Yuffie wasn't certain she could hit Scar in the temple hard enough to knock him out while running at full speed without practice. She hadn't gotten any practice.

'_No worrying about it now,'_ Yuffie thought as she slammed her foot down on the rocky surface in order to push off and throw herself into the blow.

The set up was beautiful. Yuffie did everything right so that during her final leap, one hundred and twenty pounds of ninja came hurtling toward Scar's temple at a speed of twenty-three miles an hour—that would be thirty seven kilometers per hour in the metric system—which would equal a force of roughly five hundred fifty-two Newtons. If she hit him anywhere in the head, she would probably knock him out.

The only thing Yuffie had not accounted for was Scar himself. While Yuffie was in midflight, Scar turned and saw her. Most people would have frozen in shock, small flying ninjas are uncommon these day, but clearly Scar had his share of Asian female assassins because he tried to dive out of the way. He didn't make it, but Yuffie lost her headshot. Instead, Yuffie's torso collided with his, and her knee sunk firmly into his groin. They landed in a heap on the ground.

In her struggle to stand, Yuffie's elbow smashed into Scar's face. Luckily, that provided all the leverage she needed to regain her footing. She ran out of the back of the cave rubbing her elbow, which hurt a lot. There was a right way to elbow someone and what she had just done was not it. Her father would be so disappointed in her right now.

"What is with you and poking out eyes?" Seifer's voice crackled in her ear. "I think you ruptured his eye just now."

"That's what he gets for attempting to flee justice," Yuffie snapped. "Have you got him?"

"Yeah I—oh shit!"

"Seifer? Seifer! What happened?"

There was no reply.

Against her better judgment Yuffie turned around. Her part of the job was done. She could go back to Pride Rock and let Leon know she hadn't drowned. Let Seifer stew in his own mess. This was not her problem. Those pesky morals of hers got in the way. Yuffie could not leave a man behind if she thought he was in danger.

"Seifer!" she yelled again, cursing the com.

Instead of finding the bounty hunter in the tunnel, she ran into the cult leader. Make that an enraged cult leader. When Scar saw her, he began running and from the look on his face Yuffie knew he wanted to strangle her. So she did the only sensible thing possible. She made a chopping block with her left arm, quickly followed by sinking her right into his gut. Scar doubled over. So with another elbow blow, this time executed correctly and to the back of the head, Scar went down.

She didn't have time to check her handy work. Instead she burst into the great cavern to see Seifer fending off half a dozen hyenas. A roundhouse kick to the face of the nearest one announced her presence to the group. After a few more kicks and punches Yuffie found herself back to back with Seifer.

"I bet you were never expecting this to happen," Seifer laughed.

"When we get done here I'm kicking your ass."

"Fine."

"And I'm taking half the reward money."

"We'll talk about that later," Seifer said, dodging a hyena. For all their hatred and bigotry, none of the youths they had run into so far knew much about fighting. "Have you seen Scar?"

"I think I knocked him out in the tunnel. Not certain."

"Then we need to get back there before reinforcements arrive."

"We're too late for that," Yuffie said as a large group of hyenas appeared. These ones actually looked like they knew a thing or two about a fight.

She crouched down, grabbed a rock, and lobbed it at the last hyena standing between them and the tunnel. Then the two ran for it. After a moment of surprise, the hyenas gave chase.

When they reached Scar, Seifer wanted to grab him, while Yuffie didn't want to carry him with them. However, Seifer did have a good point. His reasoning was that they had gotten this far and they'd all go bust if they didn't take Scar with them. The ninja didn't want to ever do something like this again and they would if they didn't bring Scar with them. So they scooped up the convict and ran.

Scar was heavy and he was dead weight. But he was worse than normal dead weight because he also stank something fierce. Apparently neo-Nazi cult leaders don't need to bathe. At least he wasn't struggling or threatening her.

"What the hell are we supposed to do?" Yuffie demanded. "The hyenas are catching up!"

"Gippal, if you've got an exit strategy, I'd like to hear it right now!" Seifer yelled.

"Take a right at the next fork then just keep going up," Gippal said. "You'll reach a cliff. Jump off it."

"I've tried cliff diving, it does not go well!" Yuffie yelled. "We'll all drown if we try to bring Scar!"

"NO," Fuu said.

"Fuu's got the boat right by, no problem," the techie said.

"And what will keep the hyenas from following? Culties are willing to die for their leader, so they'll just follow us off the cliff."

"Have a little faith."

"Gippal!"

"Trust him, Yuffie," Seifer panted. "I do."

'_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!'_ She silently swore. _'If she wasn't already, Kairi is gonna kill me. Leon's gonna kill me. Rikku's gonna kill me. Hell, _Aeris_ is going to kill me.'_

She could see daylight. Sure there was still the artificial lighting from the electrical works the cult had installed in the caves, which had really ruined a lot of the natural beauty in this section of Pride Rock cave system, but it paled in comparison. As excited as she was for the outdoors, she was not looking forward to what she had to do next.

"Ready to jump?" Seifer asked.

"You can never tell anyone I did this," Yuffie said. "And that goes for you idiots on the line too!"

Before she could think about it they had run out of ground. She was soaring head first toward the Indian Ocean. She heard a blast and a wave of heat shot the trio further from the ledge. Since she didn't want Scar drowning her, she let go and gave him a little kick to get away from him. She didn't need to worry about him; he had enough paunch he'd probably float.

She landed with a belly flop. It hurt so badly that she couldn't move and sunk a few feet before regaining her senses. When she resurfaced Seifer was already on the boat assisting Fuu with a large metal pole with a hook on its end. They were trying to fish Scar out of the water, but his limp body was unwilling to allow the hook to bring him up.

Yuffie paddled over to the boat. She hoisted herself up the ladder, then lay down on the deck. Scar landed with a fishy plop next to her. He wasn't breathing. Seifer gave him several good whacks to the chest before the cult leader spat up seawater and began breathing. Fuu turned him on his side and slapped some hand cuffs on him.

"SUCCESS," she said.

"That we did partner," Seifer said, grinning.

"What about the hyenas?" Yuffie asked.

"BOOM."

"We blew up all the cave entrances and exits at once," Seifer explained, pointing at the rock pile that now blocked their exit path. "Everyone is stuck inside the few large caverns that made up their base. We can get the locals to come dig them out as soon as we pick up Gippal and the rest of our gear."

"You potentially destabilized the entire cavern system for Pride Rock in order to capture Scar del Leon? Rafiki is going to kill you. Hell, Leon's gonna kill me for disappearing for three days! Do you have an explanation for him, Seifer?"

"HONOR," Fuu said, nodding wisely.

Yuffie cocked her head. "Think he'd buy that?"

Seifer shrugged. "Only one way to find out. Besides, if that doesn't work, just remind him you just helped squash a Nazi cult. That always works."

**xxx**

"Kairi, I'm home!" Yuffie yelled as she barged into the apartment. "Guess what I brought!"

"Yuffie?" Kairi said, coming out of the bedroom. "What's with the pumpkin?"

"Halloween's next week and I thought we could carve it together. We could do bats or something."

"I see. Do you have any idea why Leon called sounding worried and furious the other day? I couldn't make out what he was saying, but he was definitely pissed at you."

Yuffie laughed nervously. Leon stopped speaking to her yesterday after he had made certain she was okay. Apparently hunting Nazi cults was not a viable excuse for disappearing for five days after all. At least Rikku had been impressed by her accomplishments.

"Yuf?" Kairi asked, "Any idea?"

"Not really," Yuffie said, exchanging the pumpkin for Yuna. The bird glared at the ninja. Obviously, Yuna didn't believe her. "It was just a quiet normal competition, although I missed the deadline to sign up for the competition, so I didn't actually participate this year. That was a bummer."

"Then can you explain why you made the front page headlines?" Kairi asked, shoving a paper into Yuffie's hands, which caused her to drop Yuna. The bird squawked in rage, but landed on the ground unharmed. "Cloud gave this to me this morning at work. He told me to take the day off."

Yuffie bit her lip as she stared at the headline: _'Local Surfer Foils Nazi Cult in Africa and Causes Earthquake'_

"Got anything to say, Yuffie?"

"Technically, it wasn't an earthquake."

"No?"

"Gippal set off explosive charges that blew up some of the cave system and caused the disruption to the surrounding."

"You didn't cause the earthquake, Gippal did."

Yuffie knew from Kairi's tone of voice that it wasn't the right answer, but she didn't have a better one. So she just nodded.

"You guys drastically altered an entire ecosystem and could have killed yourselves and everyone at Pride Rock and all you have to say for yourself is that it's Gippal's fault?" Kairi screamed.

"Doesn't anyone care I was fighting Nazis?" Yuffie whined. "And, I avenged Simba's father at the same time." She grinned then said, "I even got Simba to propose to Nala. During the quake when they thought they were going to die Simba told Nala he loved her and asked her to marry him. And she said yes. They're getting married this spring."

Kairi sighed, shook her head, and gave Yuffie 'The Look.' It was a harassed and flabbergast version of 'The Look,' but it was still 'The Look.' "Why did you do it in the first place? I know you're crazy, but this was outright deadly."

"I didn't want Seifer coming back to Japan," Yuffie said softly.

"Yuffie, we could have just gotten a restraining order if we thought he was going to be a problem. It's much simpler and safer than what you did."

"I didn't think of that."

"You never think of the simple answer," Kairi said. "Okay. I can't be mad, you did capture a pack of Nazis that were planning a terrorist attack. Just don't ever do it again!"

Yuffie brightened. "I'm not in trouble?"

Kairi shrugged. "I can't control you and I'm beginning to think it's impossible to prevent you from doing stupid things. Instead I'm trying to focus on damage control. At least you didn't get hurt this time."

Yuffie's smile faded. "That isn't quite true."

"What did you break?"

"Nothing! I just bruised my torso a bit so that now instead of wearing rainbows, I sorta look like one." Yuffie lifted her shift to show Kairi, which caused the redhead to start laughing. "It's not that funny."

"I just wasn't expecting that of all things," Kairi snickered as she tried to control her chuckles. "You look like a tie-dye job gone wrong."

"I know," the surfer grinned. "So can we carve the pumpkin?"

"I'll draw something on it," Kairi said, picking up the pumpkin. "You start an apology letter to Leon. He spent the entire time worrying about you and you aren't the least bit guilty about that."

"I didn't mean to worry him."

"I know. Now go."

"Yes ma'am," Yuffie said saluting.

The girls quickly settled into their usual routine, working side by side at the kitchen counter. Yuna snuggled up to the toaster and watched as Kairi carefully sharpied the pumpkin's skin. Yuffie got out a big knife and a couple of large spoons for her girlfriend before fetching paper and ink for her own work. Yuffie wouldn't trade moments like these with Kairi for all the excitement in the world.

* * *

That was chapter 26 and I hoped you all enjoyed it. Let's all pretend I posted this chapter two months ago, okay? Since you've read it, please review.


	27. Family and Mango Cobbler

MC: By Ifrit it's chapter 27. Yes, I just can't believe that it's finally up. It took roughly four months to get this up, but now the chapter is finally posted for all of you to enjoy. So, please do.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters or places, so please don't sue. The plot is mine though, so please don't steal that (although no one would because you're all awesome, so I don't know why I said that).

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 27: Family and Mango Cobbler**

"Okay, so I just finished ordering our tickets to Wutai online," Yuffie said cheerfully. "The Old Man's going to be so surprised to see us."

"Wutai? When are we going to Wutai?" Kairi asked, looking up from her book.

"For Christmas, duh," Yuffie said.

"Really?" Kairi asked. "Because I distinctly remember you agreeing to go home with me for Christmas. That's why I bought tickets for us three months ago. When my Mom called the other day it was to confirm that the both of us are staying through the New Year's celebration."

"But… what about my Dad?" Yuffie asked. "This year everyone's going home to their families and he'll be left all alone in an empty dojo."

The law student closed her book and set it aside. "This is why you come to me for a solution, babe," she said, leaning on her fist. "Have you paid for the tickets yet or have you only filled out everything but not sent the order in yet?"

"I gave them my credit card number."

Kairi sighed. "Give me the phone. Which company did you use?"

"Cactuar Car Rentals."

"Great." Kairi could already feel the headache coming on. Cactuar Car Rentals' Customer Service was pricklier than their mascot. Changing or canceling their order would take hours of work on her part. Still, she knew what she had to do; so Kairi called and as soon as she hit the button for Cactuar Customer Service she was promptly put on hold. Since she could already feel that this was going to take a while, Kairi asked Yuffie to order her father a bus ticket to Twilight Town.

"Why should I do that?" Yuffie asked. "He hates riding on buses."

"You want to drive up to Wutai, pick him up, drive back to Twilight Town, then drive down to Besaid to catch a ferry to Destiny Islands?"

Yuffie shrugged. "It's better than making him ride the bus."

"I'm not going to Wutai just to pick up your father. You'll have to drive there and back again without me."

"Okay."

"Then I won't cancel your car order," Kairi said, hanging up. "I'd better order him a ferry ticket too."

xxx

"It was so nice of you to arrange this vacation to include me, daughter-san," Godo said cheerfully.

"Technically, it was Yuffie's idea," Kairi said truthfully. "Then she was also the one to carry it out. All I did was tell her how to accomplish her goal."

"Nonsense," Godo said. "If she was behind it she would have mentioned something by now. No, she's too busy throwing up."

Kairi had to wince at that. She could see Yuffie hanging over the railing of the ferry. Despite taking anti-seasickness medication before boarding the ferry Yuffie had been sick the entire time. At least Godo was content to talk with Kairi the entire ride, but he had spent most of it disparaging Yuffie's inability to develop sea legs.

"You know she's a lot better at accomplishing things than you give her credit for," she said. "And if nothing else, I'm very happy to have Yuffie in my life."

Godo just shook his head. "You're too good for her, Kairi, but at least this way I get a decent daughter. Yuffie tries her best, but somehow she seems to fall short."

Kairi just bit the inside of her cheek at this. She had promised Yuffie she would be nice to Godo in exchange for Yuffie being on her best behavior with Kairi's parents. Really though, the disparaging remarks were getting to her.

"I think I can see land," Godo said. "Yuffie, come over here and take a look; I think I can see Destiny Islands!"

Yuffie shambled over to her family while keeping her head over the railing. Kairi thought it painful to watch, but Yuffie did want to please her father. Seasickness tended to make the surfer docile. Yuffie stopped when she reached Godo's side, so Kairi grabbed her by the arm and pulled her girlfriend into the middle. After a moment Kairi began rubbing Yuffie's back since it seemed to help the last time they traveled together.

"Can you see it, Yuffie?" Godo asked.

"Yes," Yuffie croaked before setting her head on the rail.

"I can't see it yet?" Kairi said. "I guess my eyesight isn't that great."

"I can see the boardwalk!" Yuffie said excitedly. "No, I'm sorry, that's the docks. You guys tie the canoes up on the docks not the boardwalk."

"Can you see any people?" Kairi asked. She was willing to indulge their excitement.

"I can see a few people, but I can't make out any details yet," Yuffie said.

"A fat sea cow and a wimpy hangdog," Godo declared.

"A what?" Kairi could barely keep from laughing. When she said Yuffie frown frown though she had to ask, "What?"

"I think the old man is describing your parents," Yuffie whispered.

You've gotta be kidding me," Kairi hissed. "My mom is not fat."

"Of course she's not, babe," Yuffie said soothingly. "But if she was in a fight with a walrus, I wouldn't bet on the walrus."

"Yuffie…" Kairi said.

"I'm not trying to be insulting, I swear," Yuffie said. "It's just your mom has left a very strong impression on me and it isn't entirely good. I really hope you don't turn into her."

"Why would I turn into my mother?"

"People always turn into their mothers," Yuffie said knowingly. She paused. "Or is it that people always marry their mothers?

Kairi started rubbing her forehead. She didn't know where her girlfriend's line of thinking was going, but she knew it would end in a very odd question and it was already giving her a headache.

"If we're lesbians, does that still mean you'll turn into my mother or will you turn into my father because I'm a girl?"

"I can promise you, Yuffie, I will never turn into your father," Kairi said. _'I can't believe I'm having to say this.'_

"Will you two quit yammering?" Godo asked. "The ferry should dock soon. We need to get our things. And get off."

As it was easier to comply with grumpy old dojo masters than fight them, the girls went along with Godo's demands. At least Kairi did so. Yuffie was sick once more when the captain suddenly twisted the boat jarring everyone onboard. Still, they didn't have a lot of luggage, so Kairi was able to manage on her own.

When the travelers made it onto the docks they were greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Hart. Kairi was hugged and kissed within an inch of her life while Yuffie did absolutely nothing to help. When the law student was finally released her arms felt numb. Still Kairi smiled and exchanged pleasantries while she introduced Godo to her parents.

"Nice to meet you," Mr. Hart said, offering a hand to Godo.

In response Godo just sneezed. He refused to say anything in greeting, which made the introductions a touch strained. When Kairi saw the kicked puppy look creep onto Yuffie's face, she knew she had to break the tension.

"Dad, who else has arrived?" Kairi asked. It was a good distraction from Godo's rudeness.

"Sora and Riku got here two days ago and Axel is due to arrive tomorrow morning," Mr. Hart said.

"Is he bringing Roxas and Reno?" Yuffie asked.

"Who?" Mrs. Hart asked.

"Roxas, as you may recall, is Axel's boyfriend," Kairi said. "And Reno is Axel's kid."

"What? When did Axel reproduce?" Mrs. Hart demanded. She glared at Kairi. "Who could possibly consider him to be father material?"

Obviously, this was not the best subject to bring up, although Kairi hadn't known that. "He found out a little over a year ago that he had a son named Reno," she said carefully. "Since then Reno has been living with Axel and Roxas."

"Why did no one tell me?"

"I thought you knew," Kairi said. "Even if I did know you didn't know, I would have thought it was Axel's place to tell you about Reno, mom. Or maybe his dad should have told you he was now a grandpa. Axel must have told Uncle Red by now. By the way, is he coming?"

"Yes," Mrs. Hart said distractedly. "I had no idea I was a great aunt."

Mr. Hart touched his wife's arm. "Shall we go home now, dear?"

**xxx**

"I still love your wallpaper," Yuffie laughed, tracing one of the outlines. "Just a shame we have to move outta your room after one night. I still don't get why we can't keep it."

"Because Uncle Red has a bad back and needs a place to sleep," Kairi said as she adjusted the clean sheets on the bed.

"So we bunk him with the Old Man," Yuffie said. "I'm certain they'd get a kick outta it. I doubt Godo's had any bedfellows since my Mom died… Not that I think he'd sleep with your uncle like that."

"I understand what you're trying to say."

"It's just not right! I don't want to sleep on the floor with Axel's lot. Roxas is cool, but Axel's Axel and Reno's probably sick. Little kids always get sick during the holidays. I don't want kiddie germs."

"Don't complain, Yuffie," Kairi said. "I'm already extremely tense about this situation and about this close to biting off people's heads." She held her thumb and forefinger half an inch apart to demonstrate. "And unfortunately, you're the safest person to bite the head off of."

"What's gotten you so grumpy?" Yuffie asked.

"My mother, your father, Axel's inability to take responsibility, how awful dinner was last night, the fact we have to sleep on the floor. Do I need to list any more reasons?"

"No." Yuffie squeezed Kairi's shoulders. "Come on, let's do something fun. Sora and Riku are already here, right? We should visit them, you love seeing them. Where are they staying?"

"Sora's. Sephiroth doesn't care how much he sees his brother, but Sora's mom would break Riku's legs if he kept her baby away from her. Sora's a total momma's boy."

With a minimal amount of finagling the girls made it out of the house and down to Sora's family residence in a matter of minutes. After a short round of conversation with the Harada family, Kairi, Yuffie, Sora, and Riku found themselves sitting on the porch sucking popsicles.

"How's Christmas going?" Sora asked.

"I have my parents, my in-laws, and I'm about to get my extended family all staying under one roof," Kairi said. "How do you think it's going?"

"Technically, Godo isn't your in-law," Riku said thoughtfully. "You and Yuffie would have to get hitched for that to be true."

"Why haven't you guys done it yet anyway?" Sora asked.

Yuffie choked on her popsicle.

"No," Kairi ordered. "Don't you dare. Don't even think of it."

"But," Yuffie said. She had a different expression on her face. Kairi could see her girlfriend wanted to ask a different question now.

"This is neither the time nor the place to even think about discussing marriage," Kairi said. "If you even think about bringing it up now, like birdbrain just did—"

"Hey!" Sora interjected.

"—I'll bite your head off because this is the worst possible time to even think about it and you'll end up hurt. Then you'll end up hurting me and then we'll have fucked up Christmas for ourselves."

"Strong language," Riku said.

"I just know that high stress situations are a terrible time to even think of making life altering changes." Kairi shook her head. "I'd rather not cause my entire life to self destruct because you thought you needed to do the honorable thing to make me happy."

"So you're happy now?" Yuffie asked.

"No, but it's not your fault and nothing you can do about it right now, babe," Kairi sighed. "Just be yourself."

"I can do that," Yuffie said happily.

"There are times when I wish I had the same power in my relationship to veto subjects the way you do, Kairi," Riku said.

"How have you guys been?" Kairi asked. She wanted to finish changing the subject. "Did you ever decide between photography and architecture, Riku?"

"I should hope so," he said pleasantly. "I'm in the master's program for architectural design now. As soon as I finish I'll be building yuppie housing like the best of them."

"You want to build yuppie housing?"

"Not really. I just plan to get a few years of experience doing whatever I can then I'll start designing whatever I feel like."

"I see."

"I'm doing well too," Sora added. "I finally figured out what I want to do with my life!"

"Oh Shiva," Riku grumbled, slapping his forehead.

"What is it?" Yuffie asked.

"I'm going to be a teacher!" Sora exclaimed.

"A teacher," Kairi said. "You're going to be a teacher. You."

"Yeah, I'm thinking kindergarten or early grade school," Sora said. "I'm working on getting my substitute teaching license right now, but I'll be starting school in the fall. I need to get a degree in education and a buncha other stuff first."

"You don't look too happy about this," Kairi said quietly to Riku as Sora explained the finer details to Yuffie.

"Ever since I started my program this fall Sora's been hell bent on figuring out what he wants to do with his life," Riku said. "I don't care what he picks, I'm just sick of him changing his mind every two weeks."

"What's he considered?"

"Nursing, professional dog groomer, accountant, police officer, lifeguard, restaurant owner, house wife, and fire fighting," Riku said. "I think firefighter was my favorite of the bunch. He looked good in the hat and pants."

"Why didn't he stick with that?"

"Too scrawny. He'd need to gain another forty pounds or so of mass before he'd be on par with the other guys. Sora's strong enough, he just doesn't have the staying power."

"Except for the fact he'd have to be in school all day, Sora would make a great teacher," Kairi said, trying to make Riku smile. She got results, although it was a thin one.

"That was my thought exactly," Riku said. Something Sora said caught Riku's attention. The older man turned and asked his husband to repeat his last statement.

"Wouldn't it be neat if we could get pregnant, Riku?" Sora asked.

That was not where Kairi thought the other conversation was going.

"No Sora, morning sickness, and swollen everything, and you throwing shoes and or bottles of hair care products at me because I knocked you up does not sound like fun," Riku said, shaking his head.

"What brought this up?" Kairi asked tentatively.

"We were talking about baby squids, which led to talking about Reeve and Reno, and then that brought up Sora's other plan," Yuffie said.

"Okay…"

"I know it sounds a little weird in summary, but if you heard the whole conversation it would make perfect sense," the ninja said.

"I'll take your word for it," Kairi said. "If nothing else, Sora, teaching kindergarten for a bit would give you a better sense of whether you actually want to be a parent. It's a full time responsibility and you had a nasty habit of accidently killing your fish when you were a kid."

"But I took great care of my dog," Sora protested.

"Only because I was there," Riku said.

"Which is why it's such a good thing you're here now," Sora said brightly. He sighed after seeing the look Kairi was giving him. "Listen guys, despite what you all may believe; I'm not an idiot."

"I never—" Riku started, stopping at Sora's raised hand.

"I know I'm not ready to be a dad, I'm only twenty-three and I'm an immature twenty-three-year-old, but I like to imagine what the future will bring. I am going to be a kick ass dad someday and I want to look forward to that event, not dread it."

There were no arguments to that mini speech so there was silence again. Suddenly, Kairi realized that during the time she had spent with the boys Axel and company had probably arrived and settled in her house.

When they got home Kairi found her parents fawning over Reno. Uncle Red was doing the same, but at least he was a little more subtle about it. Kairi had to wince, as the maternal love her mother radiated was blinding. Even as she beamed at Kairi over the little boy's head Kairi knew she was wondering why Reno couldn't be her _grandson_ instead of her great nephew.

"Isn't he just adorable?" Mrs. Hart asked the moment Kairi was within hearing.

"Yeah, we're both pretty fond of him," Kairi said. "Have you seen his dad?"

"Dad's gone," Reno piped up. "He's with his daddy and mommy."

"Really?" Kairi said in surprise. She had forgotten that Roxas was "Dad" and Axel was "Papa." '_More importantly,'_ she thought, '_why wasn't Roxas here?'_

"If you're looking for Axel, he's in the attic," Mr. Hart said.

"Thanks Dad." With that Kairi ran up the stairs to see what was going on. Axel had to be in a terrible mood if Roxas wasn't here and she didn't need any distractions. Besides, leaving Reno with a familiar face and Yuffie with an ally was a good idea.

At first she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Axel was curled up in a corner of the attic under a thick blanket. While it might be cold by her standards—growing up on a tropical island made anything less than a hot blazing sun cold—Axel was sweating enough that he looked like a half drowned hedgehog. She couldn't understand why he was purposely making himself miserable. Well, it might have something to do with Roxas not being there, but she'd still like to know why he was doing this.

"Axel?"

When she got no response Kairi decided to take matters into her own hand. Very carefully, she grabbed old of the blanket then ripped it off her cousin. While he yelped in annoyance at her actions, he physically already looked better; to her eye the excessive sweating had stopped.

"What do you want?" he grumbled.

"I'd like to know why you're sitting here under a hot blanket in the dark while Roxas is elsewhere."

"Gee, is there anything else you want to know?"

"Why you behave like an asshole when I'm worried about you would also be good."

"Roxas went home to his folks."

"Yeah, Reno told me."

"He hasn't told them."

"Told them what?"

"About us!" Axel snapped. "Roxas hasn't told his parents about us and we've been together for ages! By Ifrit, I've been to his house at least a dozen times since we got together and I always figured that he just didn't want to be affectionate in front of his mom and dad. I mean, Roxas isn't the most demonstrative guy in public at the best of times and I totally get him not wanting to fool around in front of his folks, but come on, he didn't even tell them about us!"

"Maybe he's waiting for the right time?" Kairi asked.

"He's a fucking coward!" Axel spat. "And he knows I can't bear to be without him, even when he pulls dick moves like this!" He was silent for a moment. "…especially when he pulls dick moves like this."

"So he went home to spend Christmas with his family this year and refused to bring you two with?" Kairi summarized. At Axel's nod she said, "Then why don't you make him jealous?"

"With who?"

"With yourself. Be your cheerful noisy over confident self. Play with your son, get on my nerves, and talk my girlfriend into going sledding on the roof with you. Then when you fall off the roof and break your leg you can put together a photo album of the awesome family vacation and mail it to Roxas so that he can regret missing out."

"How would he get jealous about me breaking my leg?"

"Roxas would be jealous of all the fun stuff you did, the broken leg would just make him worry about you."

"And he'd rush to my side?" Axel asked eagerly.

"No, the broken leg is to actually make you sit down and compile a photo album. He'd be jealous of the fun stuff you did in the photos because his Christmases are always terrible."

"Axel, you've known him most of your life, have you never asked him about his family winter vacations? The entire break is usually spent at his great grandfather's house while his great uncles and aunts poke and prod at him. This all occurs while he has to wear traditional hand knitted sweaters that itch terribly, shrink in the wash, and usually feature a reindeer pattern. The only reason he goes home almost every year is to keep from disappointing his relatives"

"How do you know all this?" Axel asked, slightly amazed.

"Because unlike some people, I actually listen when he talks instead of fantasizing about shoving him against sinks and ravishing him."

"I tell you about a fantasy once! Once! And you never let me live it down!"

"Good, now channel that anger into something productive."

"I think the most productive thing I can do is beat you up!"

That was how Kairi found herself getting chased out of her attic by a demented hedgehog who was commonly considered family. To escape the punishment for being right she rolled behind the couch and ducked just out of Axel's grasp. Unfortunately, this wasn't the best choice of safe havens because she was now trapped.

"Yuffie, help!" Kairi yelled, trying not to laugh. "Axel's gone crazy because I'm always right!"

Yuffie slid into the room, barely assessed the situation, and tackled Axel. They landed with a crash destroying the coffee table. Kairi's jaw dropped. Then she stood up and walked over to the newly made mess.

"I hope you're happy now," Axel said calmly.

"I think it might have been better if the two of you landed on the couch," she said. "You broke my mom's table."

"That isn't good," Yuffie said, climbing off Axel. She stood up and dusted her shorts off. "Think she'll notice?"

"Of course she'll notice, you fool!" Godo shouted, walking into the room. "You just destroyed the room's feng shui!" As he continued to complain about Yuffie's wanton destruction of ascetics, the other came into the room.

"Is Papa in trouble?" Reno asked.

"All three of them are in trouble," Uncle Red said, picking up his grandson. "Yuffie and Papa for making the mess, and Kairi for starting it."

"Really?" Reno asked. "Are they going to get timeouts?"

"That's up to Kairi's mommy to decide," Uncle Red said.

"Look at the mess you three made!" Mrs. Hart screeched.

Kairi looked and nodded. Frankly, it wasn't half as bad as any of the messes Yuffie made out of their shared apartment on a regular basis. Nor was it as bad as any of the messes Axel and Yuffie had created through combined effort previously. Still, Kairi had a feeling her mother did not want to hear that.

"You three are going to clean it up! And… and none of you get dessert!"

That statement made all three of them groan. Despite her various flaws, Mrs. Hart was an amazing cook. All three of them had been waiting patiently for dessert. Last night Yuffie had even dreamt of Mrs. Hart's mango cobbler. The fact it was trying to eat her in the dream didn't really matter, Kairi knew that if the dream had continued, her girlfriend would have eaten the cobbler from the inside out.

After they finished cleaning, which didn't take very long anyway, the three young adults found themselves sitting out on the front porch. Yuffie had a grin on her face, while Axel attempted to remove a few splinter from his face. Kairi couldn't possibly understand why Yuffie was grinning, so she had to ask.

"I'm dating a bad girl," Yuffie said, still grinning.

"I'm not bad," Kairi said, feeling a touch offended.

"You broke furniture and caused a small riot. That sounds bad to be."

"Oh, shut up!"

Yuffie just laughed. Kairi knocked their shoulders together lightly in an attempt to make Yuffie shut up, but it had no effect. Instead it earned Kairi a kiss on her cheek and an arm around her shoulders. They just sat there for a while with Yuffie chuckling softly. Eventually, Kairi found herself smiling too.

**xxx**

Dinner that evening was a rather terse affair. Mrs. Hart was still furious with half her guests and that put a pallor over the entire evening. Luckily, by the next evening when Sora's family and the Jenova brothers came to break bread with them, full dinner privileges had been restored to all.

It was true that with the influx of more people all the young adults had to sit at the "kiddie table" with Reno, but that was alright. It was easier for Kairi and company to talk and laugh without authority figures around. The only problem with this situation was that Reno had to occasionally ask for word clarifications on terms he should not know.

By the time the house's population had dwindled to only Harts (and a couple of Kisaragis) Mrs. Hart was beaming and Reno asleep. Fearing that they might somehow incur her mother's wrath, Kairi sent all the "kids" to bed.

The law student grinned as she laid down on the lumpy oversized futon. She had a lot of memories of sleeping on the porch with Riku ad Sora as they tried to scare each other to death with ghost stories. Or sleepovers with Selphie consisting of messing around with make up and nail polish as they listened to dramatized Jane Austin readings. While she didn't have any memories of sleeping on the porch at this time of year, Kairi knew it would be fine, since the temperature rarely fluctuated. Besides, there were blankets if she got cold.

Yuffie on the other hand, wore as little as possible, considering they were sleeping in full view of the street. She didn't want anyone or anything touching her unless they were made of ice. She looked a little pathetic, like an overheated hound, so Kairi decided to forgo teasing her for not wanting to cuddle.

Just as she was about to fall asleep Kairi heard Yuffie mutter something.

"What?" Kairi asked

"Do you think Santa will come for Reno tonight?" Yuffie asked, yawning.

"I'm certain that if Axel didn't make certain Santa would show, my mom would," Kairi said. "Now go to sleep or 'He' won't come."

"Love you, babe."

"Love you too, Yuf."

Kairi woke up some time later with a bladder fit to burst. Since she knew the layout best, she slept furthest from the house, which was a decision she now cursed. She stumbled over the three bodies, but did not crush anything and made it to the bathroom in time, which Kairi considered a win.

On her way back to bed Kairi heard movement in the living room. Figuring her mother was playing Santa, she decided to go say hello. Instead she found a large fat man in a red coat with enough fur fringe to enrage any PETA member.

So like any sensible young woman confronting a Santa-burglar on Christmas Eve Kairi grabbed a log of kindling and hurled it at the burglar's head. Without ever noticing Kairi's presence, the burglar slumped down and hit the ground.

Seeing that she had incapacitated the intruder, Kairi ran to wake up Yuffie. Once the ninja was up and understood the situation she tied the burglar to a chair. Now all they had to do was call the police. Kairi just didn't know if they should drag him out of the house to keep from waking up the rest of the family.

"I think we should just call and let the police haul him out," Yuffie said. "No need to hurt our backs or potentially compromise ourselves."

"Don't call the police," the Santa Burglar said.

"I know I'll regret asking this, but why not?" Kairi asked.

"I'm Santa," he said.

"Which explains the coat and cap."

"Yes. Now if you girls will untie me, I'll be on my way. I still have over a billion people to visit."

"Ha!" Yuffie laughed. "I doubt there are even a billion Christians in the world! No way Santa would visit that many people."

"Not everyone who believes in Santa is Christian, Yuffie," he said. "Your family is a prime example."

Yuffie's eyes narrowed. "No one told you my name."

"You are Yuffie Kisaragi and you believed in me until you were twenty years old," he said. He nodded at Kairi. "And you, Kairi Hart, stopped believing in me when you were thirteen."

"What kind of stalker are you?" Yuffie demanded.

"If you're really Santa, why are you here, why do we stop believing and do you have any proof?" Kairi said.

"I'm here to give Reno a child's FBI kit. Sunglasses, children's handcuffs, an orange tipped toy gun, and a flip-open badge in the kit. You stopped believing in me, Kairi, when Tidus told you Santa was really his mother. As for you, Yuffie, you stopped believing when you found out Kairi didn't believe."

Kairi glanced at her girlfriend. Yuffie's jaw was clenched tightly and she looked furious enough that she could start crying at any moment.

"I ruined Santa for you?" she whispered.

"Do you have any proof?" Yuffie spat at their hostage.

"If you don't believe everything I know makes me Santa, my reindeer are on the roof."

The girls looked at each other. Kairi had always liked reindeer and had a deep-seated desire to ride one someday. So it was with great pain she told her excited girlfriend to check for deer instead. It didn't matter if this guy—who probably was Santa because no one else should know half he did—was a fake because Kairi had killed a bit of Yuffie's childhood. That gave Yuffie first dibs.

Less than a minute after she left, Yuffie came bursting into the living room. Her face was flushed with a big grin spread from ear to ear. She grabbed Kairi and half dragged—half ran her out the back door. Then she pointed wordlessly at the roof. Eight reindeer stood on the roof harnessed to an ornate sleigh. One of the deer in the front of the team rubbed his antlers against the dish on the roof.

Kairi forgot to breathe.

"Where's Rudolph?" Yuffie asked. "Santa leave him at home because it was a clear night?"

A moment later they saw Santa emerge from the top of the chimney. He stepped onto the sleigh and waved at the girls. With a crack of the reins and a 'Ho Ho Ho,' he took off into the sky.

When they couldn't see him anymore they went inside again. On the chair to which they had tied Santa they found a note. Kairi gingerly picked it up and read it silently.

Dear Girls,

I do apologize for leaving without saying goodbye, but there is much to do before dawn. While many might say knocking Santa unconscious and tying him to a chair is naughty behavior, I understand why you did this. You were trying to protect your home, which is always good behavior.

Make certain you both stay good this year and you might get something from me next Christmas.

—Santa

Kairi silently handed the note to Yuffie. _'I sincerely hope this isn't a dream,'_ she thought, smiling at her girlfriend.

They went back to bed for a few hours until excited childish yelps woke them up. Reno was ecstatic for the Lego set his grandfather gave him and the Disney movie from Kairi's parents. He loved the soccer ball Yuffie and Kairi gave him. While Axel only gave Reno candy, apparently he and Roxas had a tricycle waiting at home for Reno.

The gift that delighted Reno the most though was the children's FBI kit. No one could figure out who the "Santa" was that gave Reno the kit, but in the end no one could decide. Kairi and Yuffie weren't giving away the truth.

"What I don't get is why Reno is so happy pretending to be a FBI agent," Kairi said.

"His hero is Fox Molder," Axel said.

"Isn't he a little young for the X-files?"

"Nah, he, Roxy, and I all cuddle up together and make it into a family event. Roxas makes certain we don't watch anything gory."

"Huh," Kairi mused.

"Who ate the last of my mango cobbler?" Mrs. Hart demanded. "There was half a pan left!"

"Wasn't me!" Kairi and Axel yelled at once.

"Maybe Santa ate it," Yuffie said thoughtfully. She held the piece of paper from last night.

"Honestly," Mrs. Hart groused.

Kairi ignored her mother and took Yuffie out to the backyard. They sat down on a couple of lawn chairs and looked out at the paopu trees.

"Did you find out what happened to the cobbler?" Kairi asked, eyeing the letter.

"Santa wrote that he took the cobbler as compensation for our actions," Yuffie said. She flipped the letter over. "It's on the back. See?"

Kairi nodded after looking. She grinned at Yuffie, and said, "Hey Yuffie?"

"Yeah?"

"We met Santa Claus!"

"I know!" Yuffie laughed. "I can't believe we met him. And he says he'll visit us again if we're good!"

"Guess that means I can't be a bad girl."

Yuffie just grinned. They kissed and cuddled together enjoying the new morning.

"Merry Christmas, babe," Yuffie said.

"Merry Christmas, Yuf," Kairi said.

With a sigh the girls returned inside. This was their family celebrating a holiday together for the first time. No one had been maimed and everyone was in good temper. In Kairi's book that was better than a virgin birth. These were her thoughts as Kairi and Yuffie sat down to play cops and robbers with Reno.

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed chapter 27. I am so terribly sorry it took so long to get this posted. I swear that while I have no idea when chapter 28 will be done, it will be done at some point. I will finish this fic! Reviews will help motivate me though. So please read and review; they mean a lot to me.


	28. Tattoos and a Struggle Tournament

MC: Huh, I think this might be the longest chapter yet. Somehow Yuffie always draws out her chapters. Surprisingly, she's very wordy.

DISCLAIMER: All of the characters and places in this story and the marvelous sport of Struggle belong to Disney or Square Enix. The Wii is a Nintendo creation.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 28: Tattoos and a Struggle Tournament**

"Happy Leap Year Day!"

Kairi looked up from her book. "Yuffie, I don't know where to begin with what's wrong with that statement." She returned to her book.

"And what exactly is wrong with that statement?" Yuffie asked, sliding down onto the couch next to her girlfriend.

"First off, no one celebrates the extra day in February during leap years by calling it Leap Year Day," Kairi said, closing her book. "Also, this isn't a leap year, which means that if you were thinking today was the 29th, it would actually be the 1st of March. However, it's not even the 1st of March, because it's actually still the 27th. You're still a few days early to celebrate on the wrong year."

"I…" Yuffie started, her mouth opening and shutting several times as she tried to formulate a decent response. "The Wii told me it was Leap Day!"

"That's because you never reset its internal clock after the last power outage. If you had, you would know the actual date."

"Aww, phooey, I bought a cake and everything."

"We can still eat the cake."

"It's not the same!" Yuffie said. "It says happy Leap Day and everything!"

"Are you suggesting we put it in the freezer for two years until the next leap year?"

"…No," the ninja said, even though she did sort of want to do that.

"Why don't you give it to Lulu if you aren't that interested in it any more? She said she hasn't seen you in a while. Take the cake and drop by her shop."

"Are you telling me to get a tattoo?" Yuffie asked, grinning.

"I'm telling you to visit your cousin. Please don't come back with a new tattoo."

"So I can come back with an old tattoo."

"Yuffie!"

With a little more bickering and teasing Yuffie found herself out of the apartment with a boxed cake in her hands. She caught a trolley over to the district with Lulu's shop. Then with her usual athletic grace Yuffie made it into the shop without ringing the little bell above the door.

Yuffie found a shirtless man draped across a chair. Sitting behind him was Lulu holding a tattooing needle. She looked up and gave Yuffie a smile, and then returned her focus to the design she was working on.

"Good to see you, Yuffie," Lulu said. "Have you finally decided on what you want?"

"Naw, just dropped by to give you a cake," Yuffie said, hefting the bag. "What are you getting inked?"

"Twin struggle bats and some orbs spread out," said the boy. "It's a wicked tat and it's in my team colors."

"Are you certain you're old enough to be getting a tattoo?" Yuffie asked. "You got his parent's permission, Lulu."

"I'm old enough," snapped the boy, rising from the chair.

"Careful Hayner, you move too much and I might botch this," Lulu said. "Yuffie, be polite, or don't say anything at all."

"Sorry, it's just that Hayner here has a baby face."

"I'm team captain of Dog Street," Hayner said proudly. "We're the best Struggle team in the city, although some idiots think otherwise."

"And you're getting the tattoo to prove you're the best."

"I'm getting it because it's awesome," Hayner said. "We prove our worth as a team in the ring. Lulu's finishing up the tat for me so that I'll be ready for the tournament next week. This year Dog Street is going to take the City Cup."

"Good luck," Yuffie said. _'Who names a sports team Dog Street?'_

"We don't need it," Hayner said confidently.

"I assume you're going to be busy for a while yet?" Yuffie addressed her cousin.

Lulu nodded. "At least another hour."

Then I'll just stick this cake in your freezer and be on my way," Yuffie said. "It was great seeing you, you'll have to come over for dinner some time soon, alright?"

"Sounds like a plan," Lulu said. "Make certain to tell Kairi about this before you forget."

Yuffie just nodded, properly stored the cake, and then left. After a moment she reentered the shop and marched straight back to Lulu. "I can't leave yet, Kairi told me to hang out with you."

"You always do what this 'Kairi' tells you?" Hayner asked.

Yuffie made a face. "Generally."

Hayner laughed. "That sounds pretty pathetic. Why don't you make up your own mind? That's what an adult does."

"Adults also listen to their significant others," Lulu said. "At least the smart ones do."

"Isn't 'Kairi' a girl's name?" Hayner asked.

"Yeah, I'm a lesbian, get over it," Yuffie snapped. "You need to tell me what's new with you, Lulu, we haven't talked in ages."

"Work mostly," Lulu said. "Almost all of Hayner's team has come in over the last three weeks for tattoos. That's kept me busy."

"It's a team unity thing," Hayner said. "Do you have any tattoos, Yuffie?"

"I can never decide what to get," Yuffie said.

"You should get struggle tat. Lulu's got some great designs."

"Struggle isn't my sport. Plus Kairi said she didn't want me coming home with any right now."

"Kairi's got you whipped, huh," Hayner said. "I mean, sure I guess you should listen to her, but she sent you to a tattoo parlor and then told you not to get one? That seems a little silly. Maybe she secretly wants you to get one, but she doesn't actually want to tell you to because she doesn't want to make you feel like she's controlling your life."

"Hmm," Yuffie mumbled. She had never thought of that. Tattoos were pretty amazing and Kairi did often say she wanted Yuffie to think for herself. Hayner's words had merit.

"Yuffie," Lulu said in a warning tone.

"No, but Lulu, the pipsqueak makes sense," Yuffie said. "She totally sent me here and she knows I've always thought about getting a tattoo. Obviously, this is her way of telling me I should get one now. Especially since this isn't a leap year!"

"What does leap year have to do with tattooing yourself?" Lulu asked.

"Totally!" Hayner said, sitting up again. "What are you thinking about? Where are you planning to get it? How big? I mean, as you can see, I'm getting my whole back done, which takes a while."

"Something fairly small," Yuffie said thoughtfully. "Probably not on my back either because if I'm paying to ink myself I want to be able to see it. I wonder what I should get?"

"Yuffie, I think Kairi suggested you visit because we're family, not because she wanted you to permanently alter your skin," Lulu said.

"No, she sent me to you because you're the best tattoo artist around and because you're family," Yuffie insisted. "You'd do it right cause you're trustworthy. Or are you saying that you refuse my business and I have to go somewhere else?"

Lulu set down the needle and rubbed her forehead. "How does Kairi put up with you? No, Yuffie, I will tattoo you because I know I will do it right. However, I reserve the right to veto the design if you picked out something idiotic."

"Sure," Yuffie said happily. "Hayner, help me look through this book. I want to pick out something perfect. Worst comes to worst, we'll just have to draw it ourselves."

"Right on," Hayner said.

**xxx**

"What's that bandage doing on your arm?" Kairi asked as she stuck the carton of milk back in the fridge.

"Oh this?" Yuffie said, shaking her left arm, "It's nothing."

"Really? Because I don't remember you having that big white bandage on your shoulder when you left home today."

"You know me," Yuffie laughed. "I'm always getting into scrapes and things, it's nothing."

"That's what worries me," Kairi said. She scooped several ladles full of rotini into a second bowl. "Are you setting the table, or are we eating on the couch tonight?"

"Thought we'd use the table, I don't think there's anything good on tonight. I can take those," Yuffie said, grabbing a pair of glasses. She carried them over to the table and set them across them from each other. "Do we want placemats?"

"They might be nice. They'd protect the table in case we spill. Get out the blue ones, the green are for company."

"Right then." Yuffie covered the table with the cloth squares. She placed two forks, a spoon, and a knife at both settings, although she didn't see any point to the spoon or the second fork. Kairi carried the bowls of pasta over and then grabbed them a pair of plates.

"The garlic bread will be done soon," Kairi said, pushing the tablemats around. "Will you put it on a cutting board?"

"Which one?"

"Does it matter?"

Yuffie shrugged and grabbed the board with the chocobo print. She burned her fingertips on the bread when she pulled it out of the oven, but not badly enough to stop the ninja from carrying the food over to the table. She didn't know if the bread needed to be cut, so she grabbed the bread knife.

Kairi set down the heated pasta sauce. She removed the lid letting the steam rise. Several spoonfuls of red chunky sauce splashed over Kairi's food before a couple of meatballs fell into the bowl. The redhead sat down and offered Yuffie the serving spoon. Yuffie copied her girlfriend's actions before digging in. It was tasty, although Yuffie thought that about most of their meals. Perhaps it was the company instead of the quality of the food that Yuffie enjoyed.

"So," Kairi began.

"What?" Yuffie asked. A bit of noodle fell from her mouth. She picked it up with her fingers and popped it back in her mouth.

"Are you going to tell me what's under the bandage or do I have to pull it off?"

"That wouldn't be a good idea, Lulu said to leave it on for at least another hour."

"Lulu did?"

"Umm… yeah," Yuffie said. Something about Kairi tone made Yuffie regret mentioning her cousin.

"And did Lulu say why you should leave the bandage on for another hour? If it was a wound you would need to leave it on for a couple of days."

"Yeah, it's not a wound. Well, technically I suppose it might be considered a wound, but really it isn't."

"Yuffie," Kairi said, eyes narrowing. "Did you get a tattoo?"

Yuffie bit her lip. This was not the reaction she was expecting. The stared was rather intense, so she nodded instead of saying anything.

"Yuffie!"

"What? You know I've thought about getting a tattoo for ages now, so I decided to actually do it. Besides, you sent me to the shop! What else are you supposed to do in a tattoo parlor? Knit?"

"I don't know, talk to your cousin. What did Lulu have to say?"

"She said she wouldn't do it if I chose a stupid design."

"I see. And what non stupid design did you choose?"

"I'll show you as soon as we finish eating," Yuffie promised.

The rest of the meal had a tenser tone. Clearly Kairi was not happy about the new tattoo. Yuffie supposed she should have realized Kairi meant what she had said and had not been trying to manipulate her. Still, Yuffie had gotten a brilliant tattoo and she knew Kairi would appreciate it.

After dinner they went into the bathroom. Yuffie wanted to show it off, but she also needed to clean it, so this seemed to make sense. Removing the bandage was a bit painful because the tape had stuck to her arm fuzz. Still, they eventually got the tape off. Yuffie grinned when she saw Kairi's eyebrows raise.

"Like it?" Yuffie asked.

"I'm relieved you didn't put my name on your arm," Kairi said.

"Then I'm glad I didn't go with that option," Yuffie said. Instead she had opted for something a little closer to her interests.

Yuffie's tattoo consisted on a four point shuriken and some materia. The shuriken lined up with the vertical length of her arm to form a cross instead of an X. Eight orbs of materia of every available colored were scattered on and around the shuriken. It was located at the top of her left arm in the area she considered to still be part of her shoulder. Overall the tattoo was fairly small, but Yuffie liked the detail Lulu had included, especially in the materia; it almost sparkled.

"Do I want to know how much this cost?" Kairi asked.

"You don't like it?"

"No, I think it's fine, I just wouldn't have chosen this if it were my body," Kairi said. She rubbed her chin. "Actually, I think this fits you."

"What would you have gotten?"

"Maybe a paopu fruit or something equally unoriginal. I like a lot of the plant and flower tattoos I've seen. Still, I wouldn't want a tattoo."

"Why not?"

"I'm not interested in making that sort of lifetime commitment. Did you make this up yourself or did you find it somewhere?"

"I make it. Lulu drew out what I told her to and then she messed with it until it was just right. She found the sketches she had done for me a couple years ago when we last seriously talked about me getting one."

"I didn't know you had gotten that far previously."

"Neither did Hayner."

"Who?"

"Guy who was there getting a struggle tat when I came he. He was the one who suggested I finally go through with it."

"I'll have to remember that."

"Yup," Yuffie said. The tattoo itched, so she started to scratch at it. Almost immediately Kairi slapped her hand away. "What was that for?" Yuffie asked.

"Even I know you don't scratch a new tattoo. You'll make it all blotchy. The only thing worse than getting a stupid tattoo is getting one and then messing it up. You said something about cleaning it. What did Lulu tell you to do?"

Yuffie carefully recited the instructions Lulu had given her. Kairi did her best to follow the instructions because she didn't expect Yuffie to get them right. To be fair, Yuffie did remember all the instructions and she probably could have managed on her own just fine, but she figure this was Kairi's way of coping with the change. Even if it was an awesome change.

After the finished Yuffie decided to watch some TV. Kairi seemed to want to ignore her and had cuddled up with Yuna in the bedroom. That suited Yuffie, so she stretched out on the couch and watched Extreme Wipeouts on Moogle TV.

About the time the Moogle Midnight Movie started Kairi sat down on the couch arm. Yuffie grinned and looked up at her girlfriend. She was frowning while staring at the TV.

"I've been researching tattoo after care," Kairi said.

"Oh, what did you find?"

"The initial intensive care should last about two weeks, however it can take over a month for the tattoo to fully heal."

"Okay."

"During that time you can't expose the tattoo to salt water."

"Seriously?" Yuffie said, sitting up.

Kairi nodded. "You're benched until sometime in April, Yuf. Leon's going to be pissed."

"Aw well, I need a long break anyway," Yuffie said. "Besides, it'll be shorter than if I had broken something again."

"That's not the point."

"Then what is the point, Kairi?" Yuffie demanded. "I've got the tattoo so I can't surf for a while. It's not like I can change that fact nor will it affect us detrimentally in the long run. What do you want me to do, apologize? I didn't time it right, okay. I admit that, but I don't regret the tattoo."

"I got it."

Yuffie immediately felt bad for using such a harsh tone. "I didn't mean to snap at you, babe. I just don't like being lectured."

"I got it, Yuffie," Kairi said, holding her hands at her chest, palms out. "You're a big girl and I won't bother you about your life decisions any more." With that Kairi strode back into the bedroom and shut the door. Yuffie didn't hear the click of the lock, but she didn't need to, the only time either one of them ever shut the door was to keep someone out.

Yuffie smashed her forehead into both her palms. "Shit." She didn't know how to fix this.

**xxx**

Several days passed. While they were on speaking terms, Kairi was more formal than usual. She never mentioned the tattoo. She also didn't comment on any of the other choices Yuffie had made recently, even the ones Kairi normally would have teased her about. It was a bad situation and Yuffie needed guidance.

So Yuffie turned to the only mature woman Yuffie knew who was in a stable relationship. She went to Aeris. The brunette was surprised to have Yuffie turn up on her doorstep, but she welcomed her inside and gave her tea. After she was settled, Aeris insisted the surfer tell her everything. Yuffie spilled her guts.

"So I'm at a point where all I can wonder is what would a honey badger do?" Yuffie finished. "Because it was the Great Ninja Yuffie's actions that got me into this mess."

"I don't understand how a honey badger would help matters," Aeris said. She refilled Yuffie's teacup, "Are they particularly good at solving disputes?"

"Honey badgers are fucking awesome," Yuffie said, cringing when she saw Aeris wince at her word choice. "They can beat anything! See, like a honey badger will eat a king cobra for lunch, even if it passes out due to all the venom it takes due to being bit multiple times in the fight. These things are crazy awesome! So… I thought they might… have an answer for my problem."

"I highly doubt you want to kill Kairi and eat her corpse," Aeris said, nibbling on a scone.

"No," Yuffie agreed, shaking her head.

"Then the honey badger might not be the best animal to imitate."

"Damn it, then what do I do?" Yuffie growled, running her hands through her hair. "I don't know what to do with her when she's pissed."

"What do you do when you usually fight?"

"That's just it, the last time she was this angry with me it was after I crunched her computer during her first set of college finals. That time she threw me out, but got over it within forty-eight hours since I still managed to rescue her paper. Even then I think she was basically over it even before I fixed things. This time she's got a quiet anger and that scares me. Kairi's a yeller, not a stewer. Kinda like my dad."

"Hmm…"

"Help me Aeris," Yuffie pleaded, "You're my Obi-Wan."

"You need to sit down and talk with her. Have a heart to heart. Clearly and carefully explain your feelings. Tell Kairi how her actions have affected you and how much you wish to bridge the gap you feel has developed between the two of you. You need to open a line of communication."

Yuffie nodded, taking everything she heard in. She paused and sighed. "That's not going to work, Aeris, I suck at talking and I always botch up my words. Are there any actions I can do to show how sorry I am?"

"Leon buys me chocolates when he wants to apologize," Aeris said smiling. "However, I believe you might want to do something more drastic. I'm afraid Kairi might be less willing to forgive than I usually am."

"Jewelry?" Yuffie asked, grasping at straws.

Aeris shook her head. "Take her out on a date, show her how much her opinion matters to you. As to how to do that, I cannot help you. Surely you know how do show Kairi you appreciate her."

Yuffie cocked her head to the side and frowned. "I think I have an idea."

It wasn't much of an idea, but it was a start, a seed of an idea. That and two days was all Yuffie needed to grow it into a full-fledged plan. It wasn't the most grounded plan, but Yuffie was used to things drastically altering mid-progress. So she felt confident when she waved two tickets to the Twilight Town Spring Tournament.

"So you wanna go?" Yuffie asked after Kairi carefully took the tickets.

"I have midterms coming up," Kairi said, trying to hand them back.

"You always have an exam or a paper, babe," Yuffie said, refusing to take the tickets back. "I can't force you to go, but I think you need a break. I'd appreciate it if the break you chose was from studying, not from me."

"Now why would I want a break from you?" Kairi asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because you've been furious since I got the tattoo."

"Do you have any idea what it's like owning a full sized chocobo?"

"No?"

"My Uncle Red used to have one when I was little. It was head strong and ill tempered. Completely unwilling to listen to what anyone said. In the end it killed itself on an electric fence because it ignored the warnings my uncle, Axel, and six thousand volts of electricity gave it."

"What was on the other side of that fence?"

"My uncle's garden patch. Ventus really didn't want anyone else to eat Uncle Red's corn and zucchinis," Kairi said, giving a half smile. "The point of this story is that you're like Ventus. You don't listen to any of my advice and one of these days that's going to bite you in the ass. I don't want to see you fry on your own metaphoric electric fence, Yuffie. I can't deal with that."

"But I do listen, I just listen too hard something's and start trying to read in between the lines, which I suck at."

Kairi gave her the Look.

"See, like right now!" Yuffie said, pointing at Kairi's face. "You're giving me the Look!"

"The Look?" Kairi said.

"Yes! The Look. Women give it to me all the time and I don't know what it means, except it's bad. I never know what you're trying to tell me when you give me that look, but I know I'm supposed to know, so I guess and I get it more right than wrong."

"Is that so?"

"And that's the modified Look, I think that means you think I'm being crazy, but you still like it."

"Really."

"Yes, your eyes are crinkling at the corners, which means you're trying not to smile. And now you're smiling," Yuffie said, grinning herself as she pointed at Kairi's mouth. "As hard as you try the corners of your lips are slipping up… and now that's a real smile."

"Yuffie."

"Yeah?"

"I still don't know what this special 'look' is."

"Well, you've been giving it to me since we first met," Yuffie said hotly.

"Then I think you're thinking of my 'I can't believe she just said and/or did that' look. It's a look of disbelief, Yuf, and I'm not surprised you get it a lot."

"If that's all it is, why didn't you tell me in the first place?" Yuffie demanded, throwing her arms up in the air.

"You could be confusing my looks with my glares," Kairi said, laughing. "My glares are practically an art form, considering how often you make me glare at you."

"But your glares look like your looks! Am I supposed to call them loores?"

"Maybe glarks?"

"All your glarks look the same and they confuse me."

"Maybe you should focus on decreasing the number of glarks you receive instead of trying to decipher what they mean," Kairi teased.

"Will you go to the struggle tournament with me?" Yuffie asked.

"We'll be observing."

"Yes."

"Not participating."

"Yes."

"Staying out of trouble?"

"Yes."

"Then yes, I will attend with you," Kairi said, beaming.

"Kairi, are you still mad at me?" Yuffie got a pillow thrown in her face for an answer. When she pulled the pillow off her face she saw her girlfriend walking away. "So is that a yes or a no?"

**xxx**

"Are the seats assigned or can we just sit anywhere?"

Yuffie glanced down at the tickets before looking around the square. "It seems like we can sit anywhere. Wanna sit up in the front?" Kairi shrugged and nodded. Yuffie grinned, grabbed Kairi's hand, and pulled her down to the front of the stands. They found an empty space on a front bench and decided to sit there.

"So have you ever seen a struggle match before?" Kairi asked.

"Not a live one," Yuffie said. "You?"

"A few," Kairi said. "Olette's boyfriend is team manager for one of the local teams. Maybe we'll see them tonight. Are we seeing a bunch of teams compete one after another tonight or just two of them facing off?"

"Dunno. I guess we'll just have to see."

"Kairi?"

Both girls looked to see a brunette grinning at them. She looked vaguely familiar to Yuffie, but she couldn't place her. Kairi stood and hugged her, before turning to Yuffie. "You remember Olette, right Yuffie?" Kairi said.

"Oh gah," Yuffie said, slapping her forehead. "I should have recognized you. You did something with your hair, right?"

"Yeah I did," Olette said, laughing and touching her hair. "I cut it short last month. It seemed like it was finally time for a change. I didn't know you two liked struggle."

"Yuffie got tickets," Kairi said. "Want to sit with us or are you sitting with Pence?"

"If there's room, I'll sit with you," Olette said. "He's with his team, Dog Street. See him talking to Hayner? Hayner's the team captain."

Yuffie looked and saw a chubby boy talking with her new friend across the ring. He, the one Yuffie assumed was Pence, looked up at them and smiled. He waved, which caused Olette to wave back. Another teammate carrying a Velcro covered harness walked up to them, causing the boys to stop showing off and assist in getting him in the gear.

The girls settled onto the bench and waited for the first match to start. Olette explained that three representatives from each team would square off in the ring tonight. It was the third night of the tournament, which meant they'd be seeing the semi-finals tonight.

"So that's a total of six matches?" Kairi said.

Olette nodded. "Each match has three rounds, with six minutes a round."

"For a maximum of eighteen minutes a match?"

"Yep."

So we could be here for about two hours."

"Probably more like two and a half. Unlike a lot of the more martial sports, Struggle matches last for the entire time usually. Guys hit each other with foam bats and wear headgear, so it's usually a point thing."

"That has to do with the balls the referee is sticking on them, right?" Yuffie said. "You collect them by rolling about on the ground."

"Exactly. The more balls on your harness at the end of the match, the more points you have," Olette said. "In this league we use a hundred balls per harness. Most high schools use eighty balls and the pros use one hundred fifty."

"So what's the order of the teams?"

"It's the Murdering Moogles vs the Cankerous Cactuars and then we've got Dog Street against the Falcon Fighters."

"Then why is Hayner's team already suiting up for their matches?"

"He likes to have everyone warm up and do a bit of practicing before they actually have to get in the ring," Olette said, laughing. "Hayner's the type to do his best after he's been driven into a frenzy. Most of the guys on our team are like that."

"Ah."

The three matches between the Moogle and Cactuar representatives were nice enough. Yuffie always enjoyed a good bashing, even if it was only using foam bats and protective gear. The first time a player dropped to the floor and began rolling around surprised her, but then she realized he was just collecting points.

Of the three matches Yuffie's favorite player had to be the Cactuar's lieutenant, who fought in the second match. She was very bouncy and limber, twisting and dodging in ways the Moogle lieutenant didn't expect. It seemed the closest to the way Yuffie would fight if she struggled and the girl had won Kairi's cheers.

While the Cactuar girl won her match, both of her teammates were soundly beaten by their Moogle counterparts. That meant the Murderous Moogles would be facing Hayner in the finals. If Hayner managed to beat this Setzer guy. There was a twenty-minute break so that the ring could get cleaned after the initial teams fought. During this time Olette wanted to see Pence, so the girls got up to visit their favorite intramural team.

What they found when they reached the Dog Street dugout was chaos. Half the team seemed to be hyperventilating, a third were running around in circles and the other chunk seemed to be freaking out. In the mist of all this Pence was trying to restore order.

"What happened?" Olette asked.

"Hayner fell off the bleachers and broke his arm at the elbow," Pence said. "He also won't go to the hospital."

"You can't control the team without me," Hayner snapped, startling Yuffie. She hadn't seen him clutching arm behind the benches.

"You don't seem to be doing a very good job of it right now," she said, pretending he hadn't scared her.

"Rajin and Ventus are both good enough to win their matches, so we'll just have to take a bath on the final round," Hayner said. "Although that really burns me, I wanted to wipe that smug look off Setzer's face."

"Who's going to replace you?" Kairi asked.

"That's just it," Pence said. "No one else is willing to get into the ring in Hayner's place. They're all afraid of getting hit by Setzer since he almost went pro last year."

Yuffie looked at Kairi. The redhead just shrugged and smiled. "Somehow I had a feeling this would happen ever since you mentioned Struggle and staying out of trouble. Go ahead."

Yuffie grinned. She grabbed Hayner's helmet and jammed it on her head. "I'll go! I understand the basics of this game and I'm not afraid of being hit! Besides Hayner, we're brothers of the ink!"

"Thanks," Hayner said brightly. "It's bad enough I can't go personally, but if you go in my place it'll be better than having no final match." He stood to try and pull his harness off, but Pence sat him back down on the floor.

"The offer is really nice," Pence said, "but Yuffie's a pro surfer. Since these are intramural sports, she's disqualified."

"I'm a rookie in Struggle," the surfer mumbled.

"Doesn't matter," the manager said. "You're a professional athlete, which means you're out on principle."

Yuffie sulked for a moment before an even better idea hit her. "Kairi can do it," she said. A chorus of 'what?' resounded, the redhead's being the loudest. Yuffie nodded and grinned as the idea solidified. She decided to enlighten her friends. "While I'm a master of everything, Kairi's pretty handy with a sword. I know from first hand experience that she's been practicing regularly with a keyblade for the last three years and she used to do it in high school too."

"But I haven't played Struggle outside of gym class," Kairi argued.

"But you're good in a sword fight," Yuffie said. "And you've always been bitter because your school's coach was a dick and wouldn't let girls into official matches. This is your chance at revenge!"

"But I don't have the skills to pick up the balls. I never learned how to dodge roll!"

"So hit without being hit!" Yuffie said. "You just need to have more points than Setzer in the end, so keep all your balls and knock all his off. I know you can do it."

"What high school did you go to?" Hayner asked Kairi. He clearly wanted Yuffie's plan to work.

"Destiny Islands," Kairi said.

"They were a pretty strong Keyblade team a few years ago," Pence said. "Didn't they take nationals?"

"Three times," Kairi said. "Sora and Riku both managed to rank first in the nation for individuals."

"How many years above you were they?"

"Sora's two months younger than I am," Kairi snapped. "And I could beat him sometimes in our practice matches."

"I'm sold," Hayner said. Pence and Olettte nodded in agreement.

"Why didn't you join our college team?" Olette asked.

"I didn't have the time," Kairi said. Then she added in a darker tone, "And you couldn't join without a national ranking or at least a history of official matches. Coach Xaldin saw to that never happening."

"So channel that anger and beat the tar off this Setzer character," Yuffie said, grabbing the smallest harness she could find. She snapped it in place around Kairi's torso and then adjusted it for her girlfriend's chest.

"How is it that I ended up in this crazy situation?" Kairi said, accepting the struggle bat Pence offered. "Isn't this what usually happens to Yuffie? And then I get dragged along for the ride?"

"I guess fate had a different card game in mind today," Yuffie said cheerfully. She slapped Kairi on the back. "But if it makes you feel better, you can think of it this way: I volunteered you. Although I guess that was sorta after you told me I could do whatever, so let's blame fate."

Pence went to talk to the judges about the substitution. While he was doing that, Hayner managed to calm the team down with a bellow and the announcement of his replacement. Everyone seemed pleased they didn't have to pick of Hayner's gauntlet.

"Yuffie, I can't do this," Kairi said when the announcer introduced the teams. "I've never been in an actual match."

"You just have to do your best," Yuffie said.

"Yes, but…" Kairi trailed off, her mouth dropping. "Is that Siegfried, the tiger magician?"

Yuffie looked to where her girlfriend was pointing. A man with long slicked back hair and a glittery purple poofy shirt was glaring at Hayner. Under a long trench coat that was simply resting on his shoulder he wore tight leather pants and purple rain boots. The ninja had to admit this man bore a certain resemblance to Siegfried Fischbacher of Siegfried and Roy.

"I think he just needs a tiger cub to complete the look," Yuffie agreed. "Did you see all the bling he was wearing?"

"Bling?"

"Well, what would you call the giant gold necklace and oversized rings?" Yuffie asked.

"The only term for them is bling."

"Did you see the look Setzer gave me?" Hayner demanded after stepping out of the ring. "He was practically laughing when he saw my arm."

"I'm sorry, that was Setzer?" Kairi said.

"Yeah, who else would that be?"

"I didn't realize I was going to be fighting someone who looked they belonged on a Las Vegas stage," Kairi said.

"Huh?"

"Setzer is really the last member of Siegfried and Roy, right?" Yuffie said.

A slow grin spread over Hayner's face. "No, but I wish I had noticed the resemblance myself." He looked back at Setzer. "By Bahamut, he really does look like those magicians. I can't wait to tease him about that later."

"Any advice for me?" Kairi asked.

"Pay attention to what Rajin does in the ring. He's a little too straightforward and doesn't get on the ground as much as I'd like, but he's pretty good."

When Rajin stepped into the ring he just focused on his opponent. It was a cheerful young man that waved at the crowd. He barely looked at Rajin, which made him a bit of an ass in Yuffie's eyes. Work the crowd all you like, but you always acknowledge your opponent. Luckily, that didn't seem to faze Rajin because as soon as the starting signal was given he charged his opponent. Cocky man wasn't expecting it and barely rolled out of the way to avoid being hit. He still lost two balls.

"Who is that?" Yuffie asked. "He seems pretty good."

"That's Herc," Hayner said. "He's a pretty similar fighter to Rajin. They're both chargers, but he'll dodge and roll more than Rajin. I didn't realize Setzer was putting him up against Rajin instead of Ventus. Kairi's fight may actually matter now."

"That's exactly what I didn't need to hear," Kairi said grimly.

Yuffie watched and Herc barrel rolled out of Rajin's way and slashed at the bigger man's knees and back. Several balls fell. Rajin hit Herc on the shoulder and felled a few balls also. This pattern repeated several times before Hanyer started shouting for Rajin to roll. Unfortunately, Herc was quicker to take Hayner's advice than Rajin and he took most of the loose points. Rajin tried his best, he really did, but this Herc guy simply outclassed him and no advice Pence could give him in between the rounds could help.

"Damn it," Hayner swore as the announcer declared 'Hercules' to be the winner. "Good job, Rajin, you did your best. You'll get him next time. Ventus, you're up!"

"You need to go to the hospital," Pence said. He touched Hayner's uninjured arm. "That arm isn't going to heal itself."

"There's only another half hour of the match," Hayner said. "My arm won't heal wrong in that time. Win or lose I'm going to be here for the team."

Ventus flashed a brief smile in Yuffie and Kairi's direction before climbing up the stairs for his match. Yuffie felt a bit sorry for the kid. He knew he needed to win if they had any hope of making it to the finals and that could put a lot of pressure on a competitor. Yuffie knew how to deal with pressure, but she didn't know if Ventus did.

Luckily Yuffie's fears were unfounded. Ventus clearly knew how to struggle. He zipped about the ring, dodging and rolling all over the place. He didn't hit his opponent a lot, but every hit counted, knocking off an impressive number of balls each time and he never allowed his opponent to regain the balls Ventus knocked off. Yuffie was rather pleased with the performance; he was very showy, although not quite as fun as that Cactur girl. By Yuffie's count he was hit a grant total of six times. Ventus returned from the ring to triumphant cheers from his teammates.

"I guess that means I'm up." Kairi took a deep breath before accepting the bat Pence offered. "Time to go beat Siegfried."

"That's the spirit," Yuffie said, slapping her back. "Bash him so hard his tiger feels it!"

"I don't think Setzer has a tiger," Pence said as Kairi stepped into the ring. Yuffie just rolled her eyes.

Kairi took the standard key bearer position for the fight. Knees bent she hunched forward slightly to minimize her strikable surface. She held the struggle bat in her right hand, just in front of her knee with her left close by incase she needed to increase her power or stability.

Setzer stared at her with his bat across is shoulders. Then he pointed it at Hayner and said, "This is a new low for you, Hayner. Sending a girl to lose your battles. How pathetic can you get?"

'_I officially don't like this guy,'_ Yuffie glared. _'If he makes my girl cry I'll make him disappear.'_

The moment the match started Kairi barrel rolled toward Setzer, causing him to miss. She jumped to her feet right next to Setzer and as she leapt she swung, Yuffie could only describe it as an uppercut, a blow that knocked off all the balls on his harness in a vertical line before connecting with his chin.

Setzer landed on his butt. Since this was Struggle, downs didn't matter, but he was stunned. Kairi quickly scooped up several balls with her hands—a rookie mistake Hayner complained bitterly—while Setzer regained his footing. Kairi hopped back a few steps out of range and regained her fighting pose. Before he could regain his pose however, the redhead slammed her bat down on his wrist and raked the weapon up his arm. A shower of blue balls ensued. This time Kairi didn't bother to claim them. Instead she just smacked him in the face relentlessly.

"Is she allowed to do that?" Yuffie asked, clapping as loudly as she could.

"It's a foam bat in a sport where downs are not a penalty and the participants are supposed to be agile enough to get away," Hayner said gleefully. "As long as that bat stays in the ring she can hit him as much as she likes."

"Go Kairi!" Yuffie shouted, throwing her arms in the air. The balls just kept flying. "Knock 'em off, knock 'em all off!"

"I think she could actually do it," Pence said as Kairi hit him in such a way Setzer spun around. "Kairi! If you bring his point total down to zero, you automatically win!"

Kairi didn't show any signs of hearing Pence. She just kept beating on Setzer, hitting him where it was most painful, as opposed to where the remaining points resided. By the time the first round was over Setzer's face was purple and bulging. Kairi was flushed and breathing heavily, but Yuffie was fairly certain she hadn't been hit once. Pence and another teammate leaned over Kairi while they got her ready for the next round. Yuffie was fairly certain Pence was repeating the new strategy, but she couldn't actually hear him.

When the bell for the next round rang Setzer dived for the balls still on the floor. He didn't make it, as Kairi flung her bat straight into his face. Yuffie didn't know if it was a really strong blow or just unexpected, but Setzer just slammed into the ground. While he lay there Kairi picked up several balls and attached them to her harness and kicked other balls out of the ring.

When the almost-pro stood again Kairi hit him in the face as if she was swinging a baseball bat. It hit him square in the face. Setzer fell backwards, his head hit the ground. Then he rolled out the ring. With the blow of the whistle the match was over. Kairi had won by knockout in the second round of the Struggle match.

Yuffie ran toward the ring, but instead it fill with Dog Street members. Kairi was lifted up onto Rajin's shoulders, which she wasn't entirely happy about by Yuffie's reckoning. Hayner jumped into the ring laughing manically as his arm swung oddly.

"Take that Setzer!" Hayner laughed. "I can't believe you've fallen to such a new low, man, losing to a girl who's never before fought in an official Struggle match? Pretty pathetic for a man trying to go pro!" After they all left the ring Hayner paused with Kairi and Yuffie to tell them, "I really didn't mean anything by the girl comment, Kairi. Seriously, you've proved you kick ass. I can see why you're whipped, Yuffie."

"Hey," Yuffie tried to snap, but she just found herself laughing instead. She was too happy about Kairi's win to be bothered by any lame zingers. "You are amazing," she said to Kairi.

"That was really invigorating," Kairi said. "Take that Coach Xaldin!"

"You should do this on a regular basis."

"You are doing this on a regular basis!" Hayner yelled, as several teammates tried to cart him away. "You're an official Dog Street player and you're coming to the after party!"

"Fine, but I'm not getting a tattoo!" Kairi yelled back.

"We'll see," Yuffie said. At Kairi's glare the surfer added, "Obviously it wouldn't be a Struggle tat."

"Shush you," Kairi said.

They kissed. Then, much to the surprise of both girls, Yuffie and Kairi were hauled up onto the shoulders of several of their closest new teammates and carried off to the celebration. It was a party of epic proportions.

* * *

And thankfully, chapter 28 is finally over. This chapter struggled in my grip like a cranky hundred pound German shepherd, but it's finally posted. Two more and then we're done! If you've gotten this far in the fic please review, since there's obviously something in this that's kept you reading. Thanks for reading!


	29. A Trying Mock Trial

MC: I'm back for another exciting chapter. We get to see Kairi acting like a lawyer, or at least how I think lawyers-in-training act. I meant to get this posted ages ago, but my editors went and lost their corrected copy of the manuscript, so I had to edit myself.

DISCLAIMER: The only thing that's mine is the plot, and the witty dialogue.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 29: A Trying Mock Trial**

"Since there's only a month until this class is over, I suppose I should explain the final project," Cid Highwind said, rubbing his nose. He shifted the unlit cigarette in his mouth. "You little snot nosed wannabe lawyers are going to work in groups of four and present cases. These are cases I assign and I make the groups."

Kairi wrote down everything he said, minus the insults. Highwind was a good professor, even with the coarse language. She had learned a lot in his ethics class, even if lawyers were not suppose to have any.

"All the groups will sign up for a trial time during finals week. So pick a time that works for the entire group because if you miss your trial, your side loses and you fail my class."

A boy in the front to Kairi's right raised his hand. Cid pointed at him. "Can we call witnesses for our trials?" he asked.

"Shinra, if it's something an actual lawyer can do, you can sure as fuck do it in my courtroom. Most questions about the project can be found in the ethics manual," Cid said, tapping his copy of the three hundred and some page syllabus. "Be warned though that there's a three hour limit on presentations. Every five minutes over that limit and I dock five percent of your received grade. That's for everyone in the group."

A murmur ran through the class. Obviously, no one liked that rule.

"You idjits are almost lawyers now, so be professional," Cid said. "The trials are open to the public, so anyone can watch your incompetence."

He answered a few more questions then dismissed class a few minutes early. Kairi grabbed her bag and left before she could get trapped in the sea of fleeing students. The project sounded interesting to her and she was looking forward to a good argument. Cid mentioned that the list of groups would be posted as soon as he got back to his office, so Kairi checked for it on her phone during her next class.

She found herself paired up with Larxene Savage, Seymour Guado, and Larsa Solidor. They were assigned a case initially tried twenty years ago. It was a case involving the murder of Isaaru Summoner, a gay student who had been beaten to death outside a bar just off campus. Kairi remembered the reading about this case from the section on preservation and presentation of evidence.

'_Wasn't there some snafu involving chain of custody?'_ Kairi thought, frowning slightly. _'A class ring allegedly worn by one of the defendants during the beating was misplaced for a couple of hours… only two of the three men accused were convicted because of that.'_

Kairi spent the rest of her class thinking about how she would set up the case. Cid left the students to form their own pairs and who would defend each side. His instructions just said that everyone had to deliver either an opening or closing statement. He was fairly hands-off for this sort of thing. Cid assumed that by the time people were in law school they could sink or swim just fine without any hand holding on his part.

A quick round of texting landed Kairi a bar waiting for her classmates to appear. Yuffie was in the Pacific somewhere, so it wasn't like Kairi needed to get home tonight. She didn't think a bar was the best choice for a discussion of a major class assignment, but this was just a meet and greet. She hoped they would form teams too, so that each side could get to work. While sitting in a booth Kairi double-checked her phone for any messages.

"Hey Fire Crotch."

Kairi's head whipped up in horror. She recognized that voice; it was the voice from her nightmares. Quite literally, Kairi had nightmares for a week featuring this voice and those Ifrit blasted nails. The redhead slowly turned to see a feral blonde woman smirking next to her. She was too close for comfort. Although to be fair, in Kairi's opinion, being in the same room was too close for comfort.

"Larxene," Kairi said. "What are you doing here?"

"Meeting some classmates from my ethics class for drinks."

"You're in my class?" Kairi asked in horror. "You're Larxene _Savage_?"

"How many Larxenes do you know, my dear?"

"I thought you were a dominatrix, not a law student," Kairi said. She felt slightly stupid and very unhappy about this turn of events.

"I'm a woman of many talents, Fire Crotch," Larxene said, running a perfectly manicured nail along Kairi's cheek. Kairi flinched, causing the other woman to laugh. Larxene leaned back against the booth and lifted a hand as if she was about to wave.

A young man with dark shoulder length hair slid onto the bench across from Kairi. Another man with long blue hair followed suit. The first man grinned and shook Kairi's hand.

"I'm Larsa Solidor," he said, smiling. Kairi could see he was vaguely attractive, in a boy-next-door way. He also looked like he was still in high school. She instinctively knew he was often underestimated because of this.

"Kairi Hart," Kairi said. She returned the smile. Larsa tried to shake Larxene's hand too, but the woman just glared at his until he dropped it. To lighten the tension Kairi greeted Seymour, but he just nodded in response. So instead she decided to get down to business. "Right. We have the Summoner case. We talked about it in class in February."

"That darling little queer boy had his head beaten in," Larxene drawled. "What? He was cute in a flimsy way before his brains became a mosaic across the side of Kilika Boathouse Bar."

"So how do we want to do this?" Larsa said. "Who wants to work with who?"

"Girls against boys?" Larxene offered, touching a nail to Kairi's neck. She slapped it away.

"I think we can only be opposing counsel to each other," Kairi snapped.

"Kinky." Larxene shrugged, and then tilted her head to get a better look at Seymour. "Team up with me, blue boy?" Seymour smiled at her and nodded.

"So I guess we'll be working together," Larsa said grinning at Kairi. She smiled back. Personality wise, she got the best of the bunch.

For clearing the first hurtle Larxene insisted they all order a round. Kairi ended up having some fruity drink with a sexual sounding name. She couldn't taste any alcohol, which was a plus in her book since she didn't like drinking, but she didn't like the strong melon taste. At least it didn't have coconut in it.

"Does anyone have a strong preference to defend or prosecute?" Larsa asked. "I'm fine with whatever."

"I've always wanted to send a man to death row," Seymour said. "With the hate crime tag, the defendants could get the death penalty."

"Sounds fun," Larxene said, finishing her drink.

"No," Kairi said, straitening. "That's a terrible reason for you to act as prosecution. Shouldn't you care about the victim? Besides, the hate crime tag can't attach to this case, the law didn't exist twenty years ago."

"Do you want to be the DA?" Larxene asked.

"Yes," Kairi said. "I've never wanted to be a defense attorney and act as champion for a gang of homophobic monsters."

"You have a problem with homophobia, FC?"

"Yes."

"Good to know," the blonde said, finishing her drink. She raised her glass to get the barkeep's attention. Everyone got another round.

"What is this?" Kairi asked, looking at her new drink.

"It's a Scooby Snack," Larsa said. "I think they're decent."

Kairi tried her drink. It tasted like a mixed drink. That was all she could say about it. She turned to Larxene. "Do you two really want to prosecute?"

"If you want it, then I really want it."

"That's not fair," Kairi said hotly. She felt her face flushing and she silently cursed. "You shouldn't choose a side solely because I want it."

"Seymour wants it too," Larxene pointed out. Seymour just smiled and shrugged.

"But—" Kairi began.

"Are you pressing the issue because you think that your wants are more important than Seymour's wants? Are you more important than the rest of us?" Larxene snapped.

"Of course not!" Kairi downed the rest of her drink. "I think we all have equal importance, but the reason we have for wanting something matters."

"And wanting to attack because you don't want to defend is a better reason than Seymour's wish to punish the wicked?" Larxene asked.

"You're twisting my words," the redhead said softly. She felt frustrated.

"Hey, hey," Larsa said, waving his hands in a surrendering pose. "Why don't we calm down and save choosing sides for Monday? We don't have to turn in our outline until a week from today, so we'll just learn about the case in our groups this weekend. Sound good, guys?" He got a murmur of agreements.

Kairi had one more drink with the others. She couldn't get out while Larxene tried to drink the boys under the table. By the time Larxene won Kairi felt tipsy and a touch depressed. She did not want to work with Larxene in any way shape or form. She did not want to defend gay bashers. She most certainly did not want her wants to be more important than anyone else's wants.

When they finally did get up to leave Larxene wrapped an arm around Kairi's shoulders and walked her out the bar.

"You know, Fire Crotch," the dominatrix whispered into Kairi's ear. "If you really want to prosecute this case you're going to have to do something outside the box. Maybe we can come up with a private arrangement to settle our disagreement."

"That would be unethical," Kairi said. That earned her a startled shriek of laughter.

"I like you Fire Crotch," Larxene said. "You've got spunk and more backbone than your cousin or his fairy."

"Roxas isn't a fairy."

"And yet you knew exactly who I was talking about." Larxene let go of Kairi and walked forward a few paces before looking back at Kairi. "I like you enough I'd consider doing you for real."

"Call me when Hell freezes over," Kairi snapped, trying hard not to slur her words. She was eighty percent certain that her pronunciation of 'freezes' did not sound like 'sleazes.'

"You look real cute with the beer blush there. See you later, Fire Crotch." With that final comment and a mock salute goodbye Larxene left.

Kairi sighed. Compared to what could have happened Kairi got off lightly. It seemed Larxene only wanted to embarrass her in private. She would happily live with that.

The law student went home as straight as she could; she had developed a slight weave from the alcohol. Kairi was definitely a lightweight. A hungry little chocobo met her at the door. After feeding Yuna, Kairi crawled into her cold empty bed. She missed Yuffie and at the moment Kairi couldn't come up with a solution to her problem. None of her problems actually.

As she drifted off to sleep Kairi had one last thought. _'At least I'm not drunk texting anyone.'_

**xxx**

Kairi knocked on her professor's door. She smiled slightly when she heard cursing and the sound of a stack of papers falling. Knowing Highwind, Kairi was certain he had just knocked over one of his stacks of papers and would knock over another three while he tried to pick up the first. She'd just patiently stare at his name on the door until he called her in.

That didn't take long. "Get in here and help pick up this goddamned mess!" he shouted through the door. To this Kairi quickly complied. When he saw her Cid started snapping his fingers trying to recall who she was. "Ethics, third row, left side, second from the right. Heart, Hart!"

"Yes, sir," Kairi said smiling at him. She knew she liked him and now wondered why she hadn't visited him during office hours before.

"So what can I do for you, Hart?"

"Professor Highwind—"

"Don't give me that shit, you know it's Cid."

"Then I'm Kairi."

Cid cracked a grin and rubbed his stubble-covered jaw. He had never looked liked a lawyer—much less a professor—to Kairi, and yet he was an amazing professor. At least, he was if you could get past the crude language, and the fact he looked like he just crawled out from under a car most days.

"I want to know how you chose the cases for each group," she said, pulling out a copy of her assignment. Cid took the sheet and scanned it.

"What's the problem?" he asked.

"I want to know if you gave me this case because I'm out."

"Out? The drop deadline was over a month ago. Unless you've got an amazing reason to drop it now, like you're going into a coma to treat advanced rabies, you're getting a grade in this course. I'd advise you do the final assignment."

"No, I'm out of the closet."

"Huh?"

"I'm gay," she snapped. "Homosexual."

"Oh," Cid said. "I never would have pegged you for liking chicks over dicks. No offense meant."

"How do you not know the phrase 'out of the closet?' It's like, fifty years old."

"Never heard it before."

Kairi stared at him. "And yet you know 'like chicks over dicks?'"

Cid blinked at her. "That's a phrase?"

"Are you messing with me?" Kairi asked.

"Shit girl, I need a cigarette," Cid said, running a hand through his hair. "We're going for a walk because this fucking liberal arts college made it illegal to smoke in my own fucking office!" His voice rose at the end of the sentence. Obviously, this was an issue that bothered him to no end.

That was how she and Cid ended up walking past the engineering building. Cid practically inhaled the first cancer stick in one breath. Kairi waited until he was on his second cigarette before broaching the subject again.

"I'm not comfortable as a gay woman defending men who killed a man because he was homosexual. Not even in theory," Kairi said. "Did you assign me this case because you knew I was gay?"

"No, I didn't know you were a lezzie," Cid said. "That's a term for it, isn't it? Lezzie?"

"I think you could make anything a term for it," Kairi said.

"Kairi, there are times in a lawyer's life where she has to take on cases she doesn't like," Cid said. He blew a smoke ring. "That's independent of if you're defending, prosecuting, or any other sort of law. It's unethical to turn your nose up at it just because you dislike it. Hell, there are times when the Court will assign you something and you have to do it or else go to jail."

"Even when it goes against your personal beliefs?"

"Yes. To become a lawyer approved by the Bar you have to accept their ethical code of conduct and that includes abiding by Court sanctioning. That's why you're required to take my class in the first place. Come on, Hart, you know this stuff already. You're one of my better students."

Kairi sighed. "I just can't stand the thought of representing someone who hates me simply because of what I am. Not even in theory. I can't change who I am, Cid." Cid stared at her thoughtfully. Feeling a little guilty under his gaze Kairi continued, "It doesn't matter that Seymour's reason for wanting it is so that he can pretend to send someone to the chair. Larxene arranged things so that if I try to argue that I shouldn't have to defend them—even if I outted myself, which I don't want to do—I'd come off as someone whose personal wants are more important than the team. "

"Why did Larxene do that?"

"She's a bitch." That earned Kairi a laugh that doubled Cid over.

"Tell you what, you be on the prosecution," Cid said, wiping a tear from his eye. "Your conscience can handle that if I say so, right?"

Kairi just nodded.

"You're probably closer to the victim in your case than anyone else in your group. Take the closing argument; it's traditionally more personal than the opening argument. Use your personal experience to make your audience identify with you and thereby identify with Isaaru Summoner. Show the rest of the group that you're the one best suited for the job."

"Isn't it unethical making a backhanded deal like this?" Kairi asked.

Cid let off a startled laugh. "If this were unethical, lawyers couldn't do their job. You know damn well that the DA's office makes deals with opposing counsel all the time to make the system work. You try your best to make a group of strangers care about something they have no relation to, but sometimes you just can't manage it. That's when compromise comes into the system. By Bahamut did I hate making deals, but the system is imperfect and some time served is better than no time. You are striving for justice, Kairi, and while you may fail at times, there is no greater pursuit than that."

"I…" Kairi trailed off as she stared at her professor.

Cid stared determinedly off into the distance. Cigarette completely forgotten, the ember had burned well into the filter as the bud jiggled between his lips. His fists were clenched tightly enough that the knuckles had whitened and they shook slightly. Kairi could see the young angry attorney Cid must have been. She didn't want to disturb him.

He stood there long enough that ember reached his lips. With a yelp he dropped the bud's remains and tried to lick the new burn. Cid covered his mouth with his hand before speaking again, Kairi assumed because he was still trying to cool the burned area with his tongue.

"I'll email your group to let them know you'll be prosecution. First chair. It'll be your fault if your side doesn't win, Hart."

"Thank you, sir," Kairi said, genuinely touched. She pulled a small tube out from her purse. "Do you want some burn cream?"

"Thanks," Cid said. "Why are you carrying burn cream?"

"My girlfriend is always accidently cutting, bruising, burning, and exploding herself." Kairi laughed, although it wasn't that funny. "I find myself carrying a first aid kit in my purse."

"You be careful, Kairi," Cid said before they parted ways.

Kairi smiled as she ran to catch a trolley. She had some paperwork to take care of for Strife before she could go home. She was still the only clerk who could stand him and that meant she spent a heck of a lot of time digging through his paperwork.

When she arrived Kairi found Cloud sitting in his office staring at his cell phone. He wasn't doing anything as far as Kairi could tell, although she knew Yuffie would suggest Cloud was trying to set his phone on fire with his mind. It was a nasty glare.

"Shouldn't you be out with a client looking at the salt water marshes?" Kairi asked.

"I rescheduled," Cloud said, not looking up from his phone.

He had cleared off the rest of his desk so that the phone was the only object on it. Instead of placing his things neatly on shelves or chairs the way he usually did, he had strewn the various knick-knacks and papers across the floor. Obviously something weird was going on inside her boss's head at the moment.

Kairi carefully walked over the stuff to stand behind Cloud and looked down at the phone. It had been long enough since he last touched the device that the screen lock had come on.

"Are you waiting on an important call? Usually you work while waiting for these things," she said. "Or did I forget about a trial and you're waiting for a jury's deliberation?"

"Link texted me."

"Is that all? You know he doesn't know how to use half the functions on his phone. If he sent you a random string of letters he probably accidently texted you with his butt. Or perhaps it's like last month when he left skittles over a keyboard and the birds sent you an email while they were cleaning up."

"It was coherent."

"So what's the problem?"

"He's leaving me."

"What?" Kairi said. She picked up the phone and unlocked it. There was indeed a text from Link. All it said was_ I'm leaving in the morning._ She set the phone down blinking. "Did you try calling him?"

Cloud nodded. "I didn't get any response."

"Huh, that doesn't sound like Link," Kairi said, scratching her head. She didn't have the time or energy to get involved though. "Tell you what, go home, Strife. Talk to your boy and I'm certain you two'll work things out."

"But he said he was leaving!"

"People don't usually announce they're leaving via texts and if they do, they don't give an approximate time for the break-up."

Cloud sat there processing what Kairi had said. He didn't look like he was going to do anything before Link left. She sighed, grabbed Cloud's coat, and shoved it into the lawyer's hands. Then she pulled him to his feet.

"What are you doing?" he asked, bewildered.

"Solving your problem," Kairi said. "I'm ordering you to go home and settle your worries with Link. I promise you it's not as bad as you think. Besides, you're absolutely useless here at work while you're chasing your tail over him.

She shoved him out of the office's front door and then locked it tight. Cloud banged on the door a few times, but Kairi just repeated her previous orders. Eventually he left, hopefully to go see Link. Kairi sifted through paperwork and rescheduled a few more meetings for Cloud.

Near the end of office hours Kairi received a phone call from Cloud. She answered it quickly, interested in hearing the outcome of his problem. "Are you guys square now?" she asked

"Yes, everything is fine," Cloud said. "Thank you."

"What was the problem?" Kairi asked.

There was a bit of confusion on the line and then Kairi heard Link's voice. "My Cloud is an idiot," he said.

"How so?"

"Somehow he completely missed the fact I've been talking about my sister's pregnancy nonstop for the last six months. I'm flying back to Hyrule because she wants me there for the birth. This is her first kid."

"I see."

"I still don't," Link said. "Honestly, Strife, I even asked if you wanted to come with. You like my family."

"I prefer our family," Cloud said. Since he clearly wasn't close to the phone Kairi couldn't tell if she detected a sulking tone in his voice, but she suspected so. A moment later and Cloud had the phone again. "Kairi, if you want any help with your mock trial, just ask. I am willing to listen to your arguments. Cid Highwind is a stickler for getting everything perfect in his final projects."

"You've dealt with Highwind?" Kairi asked.

"I had a class with him when I was in law school. He was an assistant professor and grumpier than I am."

"That must have been a feat," Link said. The redhead distinctly heard their phone drop and Link's laughter.

"Bye guys," Kairi laughed, hanging up. She decided to call it a night and go home.

On her way up to her apartment Kairi got a phone call. It was Larxene of all people. This was the last person she had expected to hear from tonight. So she had to ask what the woman wanted.

"I got an email from Cid stating that you and Larsa are the prosecution."

"You heard right."

"That's some pretty sneaky lawyering."

"How did you get this number?"

"Axel. So how'd you do it?"

"Cid approved it. Besides, I didn't ask him to do anything."

"Hey I approve."

"Somehow I don't find that reassuring."

"I've always wanted to be a defense lawyer," Larxene said. "They get paid well."

"That's the only reason why you want to be a lawyer, isn't it?"

"Pretty much."

"I'm hanging up now. I need to wash your slime off me." She clicked the phone off with Larxene's cackle ringing in her ears. "Bitch."

Kairi decided to call Yuffie. She had enough crazy in her life currently. She wanted her familiar crazy. Kairi shook her head and couldn't help but smile. It still amazed her that Yuffie's crazy was now her crazy.

"'Ello?" Yuffie answered.

"Hey," Kairi said.

"Kairi! How's my favorite girl doing?"

There were so many things Kairi wanted to say, so she went for the most problematic. "Larxene's in my mock trial group."

"I know, you said that the last time we talked."

"And she just called me."

"Oh. Well, that's not so good. What did she say?"

"She was proud of me for being sneaky."

"Were you being sneaky?"

"A little," Kairi admitted. "I hate the fact she's calling me sneaky."

"Sometimes sneaky is good," Yuffie said. "I sneak all the time. Listen babe, it doesn't matter what you did or didn't do. Larxene probably would have called you in any case to rub salt in any wound she could sniff out. So screw her—although not literally—and do your own thing. And I can say that with confidence because you always do the right thing."

"Thanks, Yuffie," Kairi said softly. "Hearing you say that means a lot."

"Hey, I'm just telling it like it is. When is the big hoedown anyway?"

"The mock trial happens during finals week, so… the second week of May."

"Gotcha, I'll be there," Yuffie said. "I can't wait to see you wipe the floor with her. She gives sharks a bad name."

"Yuffie!"

"What? It's true."

"Not that, I can't have you at the trial. You'll get into a fist fight with opposing council or something."

"I'll be on my best behavior, scout's honor."

"You were never a scout."

"Ninja's honor then. Please let me come, Kairi."

"Fine, but if you seriously embarrass me because you get ejected from the courtroom, you can find your own place to sleep for the next month."

"Yes!" Yuffie cackled. She sounded so elated Kairi couldn't help but smile.

"So you're coming to my graduation?" Kairi asked softly.

"Yep, I've already missed two, I'm not missing the third."

"Two?"

"High school and your BA. No way I'm missing your lawyerification."

"I love you," Kairi laughed, "and I can't wait until you get home."

She listened to her lover's proclamations of love for a moment before bidding Yuffie goodbye and ending the call. It didn't matter if Larxene was a bitch or that Cloud was moody. Yuffie would come home within the next month and then she could ignore all the cranky people in her life. It was with these thoughts Kairi went to sleep that night.

**xxx**

Kairi hit her stack of papers against the table twice, shuffling them into order. She had all of her evidence, including a couple of grad students from the physics and biology departments to act as witnesses for her case. Larsa had proved competent, for which she was exceptionally glad. Looking around the lecture hall Cid had hijacked into a courtroom filled Kairi with confidence. She could take on Larxene and Seymour; heck, the mood she was in, she could take on Phoenix Wright and Edgeworth.

She glanced at Larsa. He was fiddling with his briefcase. Cid was on the comfiest barstool Kairi had ever seen with his feet propped up on the lecturer's podium. He had a small table to his right with a stack of folders, a bag of sunflower seeds, and various other items. He was prepared. Then she looked to the defense table. Seymour appeared to be meditating. Larxene though… was playing with a stuffed moogle. When she saw Kairi's gaze she gave a toothy grin.

"What's with the moogle?" Kairi asked.

"This is defendant A," Larxene said. She pulled two more dolls out of her bag, a chocobo and a shoopuf. "Here are the other two." She lined them up neatly on the front of the defense table. "This way Cid can see who he's sentencing. Cute innocent dollies who would never hurt any old nasty fairy."

Kairi ran a hand over her face. She hadn't been expecting this tactic. It was a time-honored defense to dress up defendants as nicely as possible and Larxene would be an idiot not to use it. Usually the defendants remained human though, which made Larxene's version a little crass. Kairi just needed a moment of quiet before everything started to regain her cool.

Ooo, don't we need a jury?" Yuffie asked, waving her hand excitedly. Kairi hadn't realized she was already there watching the set up.

"No, because I'm the one grading this shindig," Cid said, cracking open a sunflower seed with his teeth. Apparently, they were his substitute for smoking during the trial.

"No fair! Trials always need juries! That's what Law and Order told me!"

"This ain't a fucking show!"

"The girl does have a point, Cid," said a short older gentleman, who was sitting in the gallery with the others.

"Fine Monteblanc, form a jury," Cid said. He spat out some shell. "You, annoying girl."

"Yes, grumpy old man?"

"You're foreman. Do you have any bias for one side or the other?"

"What?"

"Do you know any of the presenting students?"

"Yeah, I'm sleeping with one of them," Yuffie said brightly. It took all of Kairi's self control to not bury her head in her arms. "I'll let you guess which one."

"And that's why I'm the one who gets to decide the grades and who wins the case," Cid said. "So shut up and sit down, jury foreman." For once, Yuffie did as she was told.

"Kairi," Larsa whispered, "Do you really think Seymour is sleeping with her?"

"Larsa," Kairi said, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Get up and present our opening argument."

"Twenty years ago, on November 2nd, Isaaru Summoner was beaten until his skull cracked open and his brain slid out. He died scared and alone on a sidewalk," Larsa began. Kairi relaxed as he continued his opening argument. He had obviously practiced and spoke well. When he finished, Larsa gave a half bow to Cid and nodded at the defense before sitting down.

Seymour then stood up, buttoning his cuffs. "It is true that Isaaru Summoner died alone on a sidewalk. And 'alone' is the keyword. The sad truth is that there were no witnesses so we don't know who committed this heinous act." He continued his speech while Kairi hurriedly copied down all pertinent information. The mock trial had started.

As the prosecution traditionally went first, Kairi presented her case. She and Larsa showed the crime scene photos, described the victim's character and that of the defendents, and then called their med student to the stand to explain the autopsy report. Larxene stayed silent for most of this, allowing Seymour to raise the occasional objection when needed. Then Larsa called their forensics guy to the stand and things started to fall apart.

He was a biophysics major with a passion for crime solving. Technically, this witness had no experience reconstructing crime scenes, but he had read a lot on the subject and understood the physics behind blood splatter analysis. He had caught Kairi and Larsa's passion for the case and even constructed a neat computer animation for them. Larxene ripped him apart on the stand.

"Mr. Tribal, isn't it? You don't have a doctorate do you," she began.

"No, but I am in the process of getting one," Zidane Tribal said.

"In what field?"

"Biophysics."

"And what does that have to do with crime scene analysis?"

"Objection," Kairi said. "Your honor has already vetted this witness's qualifications."

"But the jury hasn't heard about this and since we do have a jury, they need to understand the quality standard of the presented information," Larxene said.

"Ms. Savage makes a valid point, Ms. Hart," Cid said. "Objection overruled. Answer the question, Mr. Tribal."

"I understand blood flow analysis, how the blood would fly when it spurts out of a body," Zidane said.

"And what classes taught you this?"

"I've taken classes on the physics of water and have read quite a bit on the subject. Blood is only about 6% denser than water, so it's fairly easy to make the conversions in the equations."

"I see… you're just converting equations."

"Yes, but they're the same equations used by—."

"—Thank you, Mr. Tribal. To make that fancy video we saw, how many of these simple conversions did that take?"

"A lot, that took me ages to build."

"Give me a number."

"With all the blood splatter in every direction and the brain… ah, maybe a hundred or two?"

"And how many crime scenes have you reconstructed?"

"This is my first."

"Your first? And does that mean you have no actual training or experience in this field?"

"I've read or watched just about everything there is."

"I see. So with no actual experience, how many mistakes do you think you made? One hundred calculations, especially when you have to convert a substance into a different substance, has room for lots of errors."

"Is there a question in all that?" Kairi demanded.

"Then let me ask this, what equation did you use for the loss of brain matter?"

"I used a diffusion algorithm."

"For water?"

"Yes."

"But isn't brain matter inherently different from water? I suppose like most human tissue it is mostly water, but is the brain not a solid?"

"Yes."

"So shouldn't your algorithm take into account that it was a mixture of liquid and solid seeping from Isaaru Summoner's head? I believe the diffusion pattern would be different compared to a simple liquid diffusion, wouldn't it?"

"Yes," Zidane said, looking a little green. He probably hadn't thought that much about the actual substance.

"Did you account for a mixture of solids and liquid?"

"No," Zidane said. He looked pleadingly at Cid. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Get outta my courtroom," Cid snapped, waving a hand at the door. Zidane ran out of the room.

Larxene turned to look at the jury, shooting Kairi a smirk. "You heard it for yourself, Mr. Tribal overlooked key laws of physics while recreating the crime scene, rendering it all suspect. If this is all the prosecution can provide for evidence, I doubt we'll ever know who killed that poor little faggot."

"Objection!" Kairi shouted, rising to her feet. "Defense is providing her own testimony and it is inflammatory in nature. The victim should never be referred to in such terms, especially not by an officer of the court."

Cid was livid. "The next time you refer to the victim in such a manner, Ms. Savage," he growled, gesturing with his gavel threateningly. "I'm having you disbarred. That's your warning too, Mr. Guado."

"My apologies, your honor," Larxene said.

"Prosecution, present your next witness," Cid sighed.

"The prosecution rests, your Honor," Larsa said.

"Motion to dismiss all charges," Seymour said, sounding bored. "Based on the prosecution failing to make its case."

"Deined," Cid snapped, pounding his gavel. "Defense, present your case."

Larxene did just that. She made a very convincing case that her three defendants had been wrestling in the slaughterhouse belonging to the father of the moogle. Her version explained how the defendants ended up covered in blood and slightly banged up; they did it to each other. The original lab reports never underwent DNA analysis, which—along with the missing class ring—made Larxene's case that a corrupt law enforcement agency was attempting to railroad her defendants.

She was good. Kairi had a terrible time poking holes in Larxene's defense. For most of Kairi's questions Larxene threw out the grab phrase of 'brawl in a slaughterhouse' for an answer. The worst part is that it actually worked.

"I can't believe she came up with a better defense, than the original defense," Kairi said to Larsa as she sat down again.

"How did she find out one of the families owned a slaughterhouse?" Larsa asked.

"Public records probably," Kairi muttered. "I hate public records."

"Call your next witness," Cid said.

"Defense calls Defendant Kefka Palazzo to the stand," Larxene said.

Kairi straightened up and looked around. That was the name of the defendant who had gotten off during the actual trial. She couldn't believe Larxene had gotten him to agree to appear during these proceedings. Larsa shared her thoughts. Larxene sat the chocobo doll down on the witness chair. Kairi blinked, processing what had just happened, then she and Larsa jumped to their feet roaring their objections.

"Defense has just called a stuffed animal to the stand," Kairi said. "She's making a mockery of this mock trial!"

"Your Honor approved of allowing these stuffed animals stand in for the defendants," Larxene drawled.

"For representational purposes only," Larsa said. "I refuse to cross examine a toy chocobo."

"Then it's a good thing you're second chair," she said, smirking.

Kairi wanted to hit her. Instead she said, "As the toy bird is not truly Kefka Palazzo and does not contain any sentience, therefore it is not possible to examine or cross examine it."

"Plus stuffed toys can't give a beating!" Yuffie shouted from the gallery. Kairi turned and glared at her, causing the ninja to hide behind the old man beside her. Kairi was fairly certain the old man was Professor Monteblanc.

Cid hit the podium with his gavel twice. "Order in the courtroom. The defense should know better than to pull stunts like this in an ethics class. The witness is soundly rejected. Call your next witness, and I'm warning you, Ms. Savage, it had better not be another stuffed animal."

"The defense rests, your Honor," Larxene said pleasantly. She looked like an overfed cat.

"Onto closing arguments then," Cid said. He waved the gavel at Kairi. "You're up."

Kairi stood up and took a deep breath. Yuffie gave a wolf whistle, causing Kairi to splutter and Larxene to cackle. Cid threw his gavel at the ninja, causing her to duck. Larsa had to go and retrieve it for his professor. After another deep breath and throwing Yuffie the dirtiest look ever, Kairi moved to center stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the court," Kairi began. "You have been brought together because a crime has been committed. Murder in the first degree. These three men set out in a pack to find a man, specifically a flamboyantly gay man who could not fight back. They lured him out of a known gay nightclub, forced him down the sidewalk, and beat him to death. They could have stopped after roughing Isaaru up a bit, or even after he was unconscious, but no, they didn't stop until his blood stopped flying everywhere when they kicked him. The medical examiner counted sixty-seven separate postmortem bruises."

She paused to glance at Cid. He was paying attention. "Witnesses had seen Mr. Palazzo and the others in the gay bar previous nights, despite them also being well known for their homophobic remarks and disciplinary reprimands for harassing gay students. While my esteemed colleague insists that all the blood on her defendants was from brawling in a slaughterhouse, who would possibly want to brawl in a slaughterhouse? And more importantly, why would their backs be completely clean if they were brawling in a slaughterhouse? That could only happen if they were able to stay on their feet and get splattered only from the front, like they were beating a man to death.

"While it is true DNA analysis was never performed on the bloody clothes, that is because the original trial occurred twenty years ago before DNA analysis commonly occurred."

"Objection," Larxene snapped, "Prosecution is supplying her own testimony."

"Prosecution is allowed to say whatever the hell they want in their closing argument," Cid said. "Besides, I know damn well the facts of this case and as a class project, she should try and explain why all modern technologies were not used on the evidence. Proceed, Kairi."

"Thank you, sir. If this were the actual trial, as opposed to a class project, the blood would be run for DNA analysis, I assure you all of that fact. It would also undoubtedly prove to be Isaaru's blood on Mr. Palazzo and the others," Kairi said. "I understand the fear he felt in the last moments of his life, for I have felt it too, though in a diluted form. This case hits home for me because I'm also gay. That loudmouthed foreman, I'm the one she's sleeping with."

Kairi heard Larsa choke. Obviously, he hadn't realized Seymour and Yuffie just couldn't work as an item.

"There are times, especially whenever I hear some loud mouthed frat boys joking about how they should beat up all the fags that I worry. I get scared that they'll turn their anger and hate toward me or that they'll try to cure me, turn me straight because all I need in my life is just a good man. When Isaaru was alive the temperament toward homosexuals was far worse than it is today. He had probably been beaten up many times in his life and yet he still refused to deny who he was. That takes courage, courage those three men over there robbed him of when they beat him to death. Isaaru Summoner died because Kefka Palazzo, Meyvn Nooj, and Biran Ronsa reduced him to a single inherent characteristic, his sexuality. Well, I do the same for those three; they're guilty. Nothing more."

She sat down next to Larsa. He goggled at her, surprised by her speech. When she looked at Yuffie the ninja was about to start clapping, but Kairi's glare made her stop and she quietly laid her hands down in her lap. Larxene moved to the center of the court and looked Cid straight in the eye.

"I think opposing counsel has allowed her personal fears color her view," Larxene said. "My clients may be guilty, but their guilt is of ignorance, nothing else. Not a single one of them would actually raise his hand against a human being in hate. In fact, each man was far more likely to do damage to himself acting like the teenaged boys they were. Every single scrap of evidence the prosecution presented can be explained by our explanation of the events. The blood patterning? Please, my boys had been wearing jackets they threw out because who really wants to wear clothes soaked in animal wastes? It's the police's fault they never bothered collecting them. As for being seen in a gay bar, it's either a case of mistaken identity or perhaps they were figuring out their own sexualities, which Ms. Hart has made abundantly clear everyone has the right to do. Find these boys not guilty, there's not enough to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that these men are anything but innocent."

Larxene sat down again and smiled at Kairi. She looked triumphant. Kairi just glowered. That woman would say or mock anything. Kairi needed to get away from her before she scratched her eyes out.

"Court is now dismissed," Cid said, banging his gavel.

"What, we don't get to find out the verdict?" Yuffie asked.

"No," Cid growled. "I need to think and grade."

"But who won?"

Cid sighed and then looked directly at Yuffie. "If you really want to know, it was the defense."

"What?" Larsa said as Larxene cackled and pumped her fist into the air.

'_Shit,'_ Kairi thought, collecting her things. She walked over to her protesting girlfriend and towed her out of the classroom. "Let's go home, Yuf, I need to lick my wounds."

"But that's just not right," Yuffie shouted. "Larxene's a sneaky lying bitch."

"You and I both know it, but Cid's made his decision," Kairi said. "Come one, let's go home." And with that Yuffie stopped yelling, wrapped her arms around Kairi. They silently walked home.

**xxx**

Two days later Kairi reported to Cid's office for her grade. He insisted on explaining her strengths and weaknesses in person. Yuffie tagged along, partly because she insisted, and partly because Kairi was worried her girlfriend would take a hit out on Larxene otherwise.

When Cid handed over her summary report the law student read it in silence. When she finished she lowered the piece of paper and looked at Cid in surprise. The professor just smiled at her.

"This grade doesn't make any sense," the law student said. "My side lost the case, but you've given me full marks."

"While it's true you lost the case, you were extremely ethical and kept not only to the letter of the law, but to the spirit as well," Cid said. "Besides, if I only gave passing grades to the winning students, I'd have to see at least fifty percent of you bastards again next semester."

"Seriously?" Yuffie said.

"Yes, that's why I don't particularly care about the cases' outcomes," Cid snapped. "Besides, if winning is all that matters, that sends the wrong message to young lawyers, at least it does considering this is an ethics class."

"So I did well in the class?" Kairi asked.

"Top marks. You were my best student this semester," Cid said. "I'd write you a letter of recommendation for any firm you'd like and I can guarantee you'd get it, kid."

"I've already got an offer with the law firm I work for as a clerk," Kairi said shyly. "Strife and Associates. Cloud, Cloud Strife is my boss and I think he said he was a student of yours years ago."

Cid grinned after a moment and stuck an unlit cigarette in his mouth. "I remember him, little punk with gravity defying hair. He did good for himself. Terrible personality though."

"That's what he said about you!" Yuffie said. Cid glared at her.

"Technically, he said you were grumpier than he is," Kairi said. Cid glared at her too, but then laughed.

"What about Larxene?" Yuffie asked.

"She did a very good job decimating her opponent's case," Cid said. "Someday she's going to be a force to be reckoned with. In fact, I doubt I'll be using the Summoner case again for the mock trial portion. She proved it's too outdated for today's trial system, not enough scientific evidence."

"So she did well too?" Kairi asked.

"By Leviathan no," Cid said. "She pulled out almost every dirty trick in the book. I suppose I could have let her squeak by, since I don't want her in my class again, but when she called a stuffed animal to the stand, I couldn't let that pass. Nobody mocks my court."

"So she flunked," Yuffie said brightly.

"So hard I'm never admitting her in another one of my classes ever again," Cid said. He blinked and rubbed his chin. "Probably shouldn't tell anyone I just said that. Congratulations on your graduation, Ms. Hart. I assume you've got everything else already in order."

"Yes," Kairi said, smiling. She shook Cid's hand. "I can't wait until Saturday."

"See ya later, old man," Yuffie said gleefully.

Before Yuffie could aggravate her professor any further, Kairi guided the ninja out of the office. When they were safely down the hall and out of Cid's earshot the law student started laughing.

"What is it babe?" Yuffie asked.

"I can't believe Larxene flunked," Kairi said. "I know it's wrong to delight in her setback, but I can't help it."

"Don't worry about it," Yuffie said, patting Kairi on the back. "Everyone got what they deserved."

"Thanks," Kairi said. She linked arms with Yuffie and they ambled out of the building. She was so happy that all she had left for law school was the graduation ceremony itself. It was finally, almost over.

* * *

Did you guys know there was a Deputy Mayor Hart of Midgar in FFVII that had a minor role? I certainly didn't until I was looking through the ffwiki for full character names for this chapter. This is important because in the first KH game I'm pretty certain that it's mentioned Kairi's father is mayor. I chose her last name as "Hart" completely by accident, but I guess we now know where he used to work.

On a slightly less fun note, this is the last chapter I'll be able to publish until after I get my grad school applications finished. Don't worry though; the last of Ordinary Adventures will be posted before I graduate… in May.


	30. Graduation, Kung Fu, and a Laundry Ninja

MC: Here is the final chapter of Ordinary Adventures. It's been a great ride, but like all good things it must come to an end. Since this is the last chapter I thought I'd try something a little different. This time the chapter coincides with chapter 29 and it shouldn't be too hard to tell the order of events.

DISCLAIMER: All characters and places in this story belong to Square Enix. This is a fan-based appreciation and no financial gain is being made with this work.

**Ordinary Adventures**

**Chapter 30: ****Graduation, ****Kung Fu, ****and a ****Laundry Ninja  
**

Yuffie yawned and stretched her arms above her head until she heard popping in her spine. Then she fell backwards and yawned again. If she had a plan, things were going according to it. Kairi just had her mock trial left and was graduating in a week. In the mean time, all Yuffie had to do was stay out of trouble.

'_Actually, I probably shouldn't think that way,'_ Yuffie thought. She rolled onto her belly and grabbed a pillow to stuff under her chin. _'The moment I start thinking everything is going swimmingly, Leviathan likes to stir the pot.'_

Her phone rang. Yuffie glared at it.

'_Just like that!'_ She scowled at the device, picking it up to hurl it out the window. However, she thought better of it when she saw the caller ID.

"What do ya want, Leon?" Yuffie snapped. "Trouble?"

"And a good afternoon to you too," he said.

"I don't care what you're calling about, I took the week off," Yuffie said. "The whole week completely and utterly off. Zip. Nada. You look at my calendar right now and you see a black hole of nothingness. I am out of reach. Indisposed. I am—"

"—going to shut up and listen," Leon. "I'm the first to say you've been working hard and deserve a break, but this can't wait. The sooner you hear me out, the sooner you get back to your break."

"Fine."

"I got you a part in a film."

"You're kidding, right? What movie?"

"A Leiden film."

"As in Yang Fang Leiden?"

"Yes."

"Holy fuck," Yuffie said. Yang Fang Leiden was the best current master of the silver screen.

"It's a sizeable role, especially when you consider the fact you've never acted."

"But isn't that going to be a problem, because you know, I've never acted!"

"We've got that covered."

"How?"

"I'll explain that later. What I need you to do now is meet me. I'll introduce you to some of your new coworkers. We need to test the waters, just to make certain you fit in with the rest and they're only in town for a couple days."

"Leon, I'm an athlete, not an actor."

"Now you get to be both. Yuffie, believe me when I say this is exactly what you want. You said you wanted to do more with your martial arts background and this is the perfect chance to do it. Just about all these people are athletes at the top of their respective fields. This is the best opportunity to work with people of this caliber."

Yuffie sighed. He was more excited about this than he had been about anything in a while. "Alright, I'll give it a shot, but I promise nothing. And I ain't signing anything!"

"Good enough." Leon gave her the address before hanging up.

Yuffie got up and stretched a little. If nothing else, it would give her a chance to exercise a little. Her flight home the other day left her cramped and nauseated, so she needed to show the ole intestine who was in charge.

Before she left home Yuffie had to check on Kairi. "You okay under all that paper?" the ninja asked.

"Fine," Kairi said. "Just revising on my witness testimony."

"Can I do anything for you? I'm going out for a bit."

"Umm…" Kairi leaned back on her chair. "Can you pick up my dry cleaning? I need it for the mock trial, but I've got an exam in an hour and for some reason I haven't gotten around to it yet. The trial is tomorrow, so I really need this suit picked up tonight before they close."

"You don't need to explain yourself to me," Yuffie said. She waded into the paper swamp surrounding Kairi and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's head. "Course I'll get your dry cleaning. Anything I'll need?"

"The receipt's on the fridge. I prepaid, so you literally need to just show up and give them the receipt."

"Got it," Yuffie said, kissing Kairi quickly.

"One more thing, Yuf."

"Yeah?"

"Can you get off my crime scene photos?"

"Sorry," Yuffie laughed. She grabbed the receipt and fled the apartment.

It didn't take her very long to reach Leon's location. He stood in front of a big empty looking warehouse near the beach. When he caught sight of Yuffie he looked visibly relieved.

"Come on," he said, opening the front door. "We can't keep Yang Fang waiting."

"Yang Fang Leiden is inside," Yuffie said.

"Yes and you're having a spar with him, which is why I needed you here ten minutes ago."

"Why am I sparring with him? "

"That's his way of making certain you fit in with the rest of his team, which I know you will. Are you ready, or do you need more time?"

"Squally," Yuffie said grinning as she stretched, "I'm always ready for a fight."

She walked inside and looked around. While it looked like an empty building on the outside, the inside certainly was not. There were several dozen people inside the building. Most of them surrounded a padded circular ring, where a single man stood.

He was the largest man Yuffie had seen in recent memory. He was tall and broad with giant vein popping muscles covered his chest and forearms. This, combined with the fact he had a single long blonde braid from the back of his head and a thick bushy mustache, told Yuffie he could only be Yang Fang Leiden. He had a hundred pounds on her, fast, and if the movies were accurate, strong enough to break a brick wall with his fists. This was going to be an exciting fight.

She strode up to the ring and hopped in. This move caught the attention of everyone around her. Figuring she may as well set things in motion Yuffie greeted Leiden. "Hey there, Yang Fang Leiden!"

"Ms. Kisaragi," Yang said, nodding at her.

"Call me Yuffie, everyone does," Yuffie said, shaking hands with Yang. "So I understand I'm in if I beat you."

Everyone laughed at Yuffie's statement except for Yang. He inclined his head to get a better look at Yuffie then said gravely, "You do not have to beat me, after all this is only a spar, Yuffie. If you can hold our own tat should be more than adequate, miss."

"I hope you're not planning on going easy on me just because I'm a girl," Yuffie said, taking off her jacket and throwing it to Leon. "So are we going now or do we need to wait for something?"

"I assure you," Yang said, falling back into a crouch, "I take every interaction with utmost seriousness."

They both stood in their fighting poses sizing each other up for a moment. Then Yuffie hit the ground as Yang's foot whipped out to the point her head had been a moment ago. She kicked out at his remaining point of support, but he leapt back before Yuffie could connect. With the grace of a ninja Yuffie was back on her feet. Any chuckles from the audience about a surfer taking on the Great Leiden had vanished.

"Who taught you?" asked Yang. He edged toward Yuffie's right, causing her to move to the left.

"My father," she said, after they had exchanged places. She charged forward and struck at his throat. Yang blocked it and then the other six well-aimed strikes. She retreated out of his strike range before adding, "Godo Kisaragi."

"I remember him," Yang said. He threw a kick so suddenly it nearly took Yuffie's head off. Apparently his range was farther than she had thought. She barely dodged his leg, but did manage to jab her elbow into his calf. It felt like she had hit a rock.

'_What is this guy made of?'_ she wondered, retreating again. Instead she asked, "Where'd you meet my old man?"

"We both trained under Master Eraqus when I was but a boy," Yang said. "He was good, but Godo and Master Eraqus had a falling out. That was almost forty years ago."

"How old are you?" Yuffie asked. "Because my pops is like ancient."

"Old enough to know all the tricks you're using," he said, throwing a fist directly at her. He was too fast for Yuffie to dodge, so she had to block. The punch sent her flying and left her ulnas feeling like they had shattered. She could not take another blow like that. "Can you show me anything new, Yuffie, or did you only learn the techniques Godo obtained before he was sent away half trained?"

'_How exactly am I going to win this?' _she thought glancing around the ring. A crazy thought occurred to her. It was also the best thought she had at the moment. "I don't know if this'll be new to you, but I can show ya something."

"Please do."

Yuffie zigzagged toward him. Yang Fang Leiden threw a couple of blows at her, but she nimbly dodged them. She flew past him and ran up one of the poles holding the ring together. By the time she was at the top of the pole Yang had already turned around. He kicked at her feet and Yuffie jumped off the pole and landed on his leg before propelling off the leg and somersaulted over Yang Fang Leiden's head. While in midair Yuffie used her centripetal force to slam her fists into the back of Yang's head at the base. Then Yuffie landed on her feet.

Yang Fang Leiden crumpled and hit the ground. There was a collective gasp. Yuffie turned around and looked worriedly at her fallen opponent. She had meant to knock him out, but now she was a little worried she had hit him too hard. She shouldn't have worried though, because she could suddenly hear him laughing. Within moments he crawled to his feet still chuckling. He turned to Yuffie and clapped a hand onto Yuffie's shoulder.

"Now that was an unexpected technique," Yang said, still smiling. "You have to be the nimblest woman I've met. I would be delighted to have you sign on for this film."

"I can't believe you're standing there looking completely unfazed after that hit," Yuffie said. "What are you made of?"

"Flesh and bone, just like everyone else, my dear." He smiled at her. "My wife wakes me up with a frying pan to the head every morning."

"Wow," she said. "So when does this thing start?"

"Friday," he said. "We fly out to the set on Thursday."

"Are you serious?" she said.

"Yuffie," Leon said, moving forward, "This is a great opportunity."

Yuffie hopped out of the ring. She moved forward and hissed in Leon's ear. "I can't leave in three days for parts unknown. Kairi graduates on Saturday!"

"Don't worry, Yuffie," Leon said. "Everything will work. We can probably catch a later flight and then join them on site after Saturday. Just calm down."

Yuffie pulled back, frowning. She didn't like the way things were headed, but she did trust Leon. He had never previously steered her wrong, but this just felt like it was moving too fast. Also, how was she possibly going to tell Kairi about this? Odds were, she'd be gone for something like six months or even a year. Kairi hadn't signed on to something like that.

'_Heck, she doesn't like it when I'm gone for month,'_ Yuffie thought chewing her lip. _'How am I going to convince her not to kill me if I have to leave now for a year?'_

"You seem disturbed, Yuffie," Yang said gently.

"I'm just trying to figure out how I'll tell my girlfriend about this," Yuffie said. "She doesn't know about any of this. Hell, until an hour ago I didn't know anything about any of this."

"I see," Yang said. "My wife and I used to have similar problems, especially our daughter was young. Would you care to discuss some of the resolutions we found?" Yuffie stared at him for a moment before smiling and nodding.

Two hours later Yuffie was running across town. She had stayed with the movie people way longer than expected and now she was fairly certain the drycleaners were closed. When she finally arrived she found her suspicions were correct. They had closed twenty minutes ago.

"Fuck," she said, running her hands through her hair. "Shit, shit, fuck!" Banging her head against the glass she sighed. Kairi asked for one simple thing and that was only after she had offered. _'Now what am I gonna do?'_ she wondered.

**xxx**

"By Leviathan I hope this works," Yuffie whispered.

She breathed deeply once more then launched herself at the tiny window. It had opened inward when she pushed at it earlier, but the rectangular opening was so small she was uncertain she'd fit through. Still, her shoulders hadn't gotten any bigger than that time she had to escape through a bathroom window in Guam, so Yuffie figured she'd be okay.

Her head, arms, and shoulders went through okay, but she got stuck at the hips. Yuffie was pretty certain it was because she ran out of momentum and not because she was too fat. This was proven to be the case when she pushed on the bathroom walls and quickly slid through.

That was how Yuffie found herself hurtling headfirst into a toilet bowl. Giving herself a swirly was the last thing Yuffie wanted. She stuck her hands out and caught the lip of the seat just before her face entered the bowl. After a moment she realized she wasn't going to fall anymore and sighed. Swinging her body slightly she was able to flip off the toilet and land on her feet.

She washed her hands and silently crept out of the bathroom. Fishing around in her pocket Yuffie extracted Kairi's receipt. From the looks of the shop all the dry cleaned clothing was hung up somewhere bagged and tagged. So all Yuffie had to do was shift through the clean stuff until she found a tag that matched her slip. It might be a little more difficult to do in the dark, but Yuffie could manage. She was fairly certain she had a mini-flashlight in her pocket somewhere. Another fishing expedition rewarded her with said flashlight and the real search began.

It was annoying work. All the handwriting was spidery, which was difficult to read in the wavering light and spelled out some sort of code. Yuffie didn't understand the code, which meant she had to check every single entry until she found Kairi's instead of skipping straight to it.

Finally Yuffie found it. With a cackle she pulled the suit off the rack. The moment she did so something heavy smashed into the back of her head, which dropped her. Yuffie was fairly certain the head block knocked her out because it was a shock when she hit the floor. She was aware and reeling. She quickly rolled away until hitting the wall, trying to escape her attacker.

With a curse she realized she had dropped the suit. She saw the tip of something metal in the light steaming into the shop from the storefront window. With a well-timed barrel roll she avoided something that made a ringing clang as it hit the wall. Yuffie leapt up onto the counter and searched for her attacker, but couldn't make him out in the dark.

She grabbed a coat hanger and caught the weapon when it soared at her face. It was an oversized shuriken. She grinned. Whoever this guy was, he had just put himself into a world of hurt by choosing a weapon the Great Ninja Yuffie was overly familiar with to attack her. Sliding her hand down the flat of the blade she grabbed the weapon by slipping her fingers through two bored holes in the column. With a twist Yuffie had sized the shuriken and slashed at her attacker with his own weapon.

There was a growl, confirming the gender of her attacker to be male. Yuffie made a follow through blow and lodged the shuriken under his chin. He tried to struggle out of her grasp, but Yuffie just pressed harder.

"If you keep resisting you will cut yourself," Yuffie said. "This blade seems sharp enough that it'd probably go in quite deep." She reached around and found her mini-flashlight. Then she clicked it on and shined it in her attacker's face.

He was a young man, but he had silvery white hair. Yuffie couldn't tell if it was a dye job or if it was natural like Riku's, but probably didn't matter. He scowled nastily at her and seemed to be glaring at her, but the bright light in his eyes had him squinting.

"Hey kid, why exactly did you try to kill me?" Yuffie asked.

He tried to spit in her face, but missed. Yuffie wanted to press harder, but restrained herself. Technically, she probably shouldn't be holding him at shuriken point since she had illegally entered, but she wasn't going to let him slice her open either.

"I'm on a deadline and I'm going to be seriously pissed if I have to sit here and wait for you to calm down. Or I can just beat you until you're unconscious, although I'd rather not. It'd be for my own protection, see?"

"You're a goddamn thief!" the boy spat. "Nobody steals from my parents!"

"I'm not stealing, I'm picking up my goddamn laundry," Yuffie said. "You guys have shitty hours. I prepaid." She shifted the flashlight to her teeth so that she could hold the receipt in front of his face.

He blinked in surprise. "You still broke in."

"Your bathroom window was unlocked," Yuffie said. "Are you going to attack me again if I let you up? It's a serious pain in the ass to keep holding the shuriken steady without harming you."

"I promise," he said.

"Are you giving me your word?"

"I am."

"And why should I trust it?"

"Ninja's honor. You've gotta be one too with those moves," he said, sounding almost impressed. "I swear on my name as Edward Geraldine."

Yuffie left him up. He rose slowly to his feet and looked at her warily. Yuffie didn't return his blade.

"I am sorry about sneaking in here," Yuffle said. "But I couldn't go home without that suit… which is now badly crumpled. Shit, Kairi's gonna kill me."

Edward picked up the suit and brushed off the front. "It doesn't look too bad," he said. "Suit's still clean, I guess I could iron it for you. Umm… for an additional fee."

Yuffie looked in her wallet and pulled out the largest bill she had. "I'll give you 500 gil if you do that and not call the cops. What are you even doing in here at this hour of the night?"

Edward flipped on the lights. "You see the rafters up there?" he asked. "They make great practice for running along narrow surfaces." He set up and ironing board and plugged in an iron to begin fixing Kairi's suit. "By the way," he said shyly, "My friends call me Edge."

"I'm the great Ninja Yuffie," Yuffie said, shaking his hand.

She got home an hour later to find Kairi reading in bed. When the redhead saw her she started to rise, but Yuffie stopped her. The ninja thrust the newly ironed suit into her girlfriend's hand.

"Oh thanks, Yuf," Kairi said, examining the clothing. "I was worried you forgot. Not that I'm complaining, but you're home a little later than expected."

"You would not believe the day I've had," Yuffie said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "First I had to fight a kung fu movie star and then a laundry ninja."

"A laundry ninja?"

"Yes, a laundry ninja. You wouldn't expect it with a name like Geraldine, but they're ninjas. Or at least Edge is. He can also iron some neat pleats."

"My hero," Kairi laughed. She kissed Yuffie.

"Are you ready to face off with Larxene tomorrow?" Yuffie asked.

"I am now," Kairi said, wiggling the suit. "Thanks to you."

**xxx**

"I don't get it," Yuffie said yet again. "How could Cid decide in the bitch from hell's favor?"

"I don't know, could you drop it?" Kairi said. She buried her head in her pillow.

"I mean, you're closing argument kicked ass! And you had all that great evidence. The man must be senile! I outta go and give him a piece of my mind."

"And you don't have enough to spare!" Kairi snapped. Her face crumpled like Yuffie had kicked her. "I'm sorry, Yuffie. I didn't mean that."

"You're upset, I get it," Yuffie said. She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and pulled Kairi's head onto her chest.

"What if this means Cid is failing me?" Kairi asked. "I need that ethics credit to graduate. I—I can't stand the thought of taking another semester. I just can't!"

"We'll see him tomorrow and make him give you a passing grade," Yuffie said firmly.

"We are not threatening my ethics professor. That would be an ethics violation."

"Course not, we'll just use ninja tactics to make him see reason. If he takes offense we'll just flee to Midgar."

"Specifically Midgar?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

" I kinda got a job offer there."

"What?" Kairi sat up and stared. "Doing what?"

"A kung fu movie. With Yang Fang Leiden. It's a sequel to _Land of the Dragons_ and the filming is in Hong Kong. Leon really wants me to do it." Yuffie paused because she was getting The Look. Kairi might have also stopped breathing. She poked her side.

"Is there anything else I should know?" Kairi asked calmly. Way too calmly in Yuffie's opinion.

"They want me to fly out tomorrow, but I told them no way I wasn't missing your graduation," Yuffie said, feeling herself begin to babble. "So that means I can't leave until Saturday, or rather Saturday evening since you graduate in the afternoon, but really that just seems a bit soon so Leon get me tickets for Sunday and I was planning to tell you before Sunday obviously because I'm not an idiot."

"Obviously." Yuffie had a sneaking suspicion that her girlfriend was being sarcastic.

"But I only found out a couple days ago myself and then I met Yang Fang Leiden and then I fought Yang Fang Leiden and I thought I killed him, but he's made out of adamantium or something so his wife wakes him up with a frying pan and then I had to fight that laundry ninja and then and then and then…"

"And then?" Kairi pressed while Yuffie gasped for air.

"And then you were so sad about your case I didn't really know how to tell you because that'll make you sadder. So I goofed that up."

They stared at each other in silence. Kairi's lips had turned into this thin pencil line and Yuffie could see the tear stains from earlier on her face. She looked miserable and at least part of that was Yuffie's fault.

"I can cancel my part," Yuffie said. "I still haven't signed anything yet. I mean It's all too soon and I told Leon that, but he wouldn't listen, which is very unLeonish. Kairi, Kairi, I'm sorry. We had plans to spend time together as soon as you finished up school and this is messing them up, which is a big no-no. We'll just pretend this never happened."

"No we can't," Kairi said. She pulled out a suitcase, Yuffie's normal to go bag. "You obviously want to do this and if I made you give up your big chance you'd resent me for it."

"No I wouldn't!"

Kairi looked up at her. "Yes you would," she said quietly. "I know you, Yuffie. You love surfing and you're damn good at it, but your heart is set on being an action hero. Why else do you always introduce yourself as 'The Great Ninja Yuffie?' Half the time you seem to forget you surf professionally. This is the best chance for you to transition into a career you'd love for the rest of your life and I'm not going to stand in your way."

"You're not in my way," Yuffie said, getting up. "You are my way."

Kairi stroked Yuffie's face. "I love you and I know you love me. That hasn't changed in the five and a half years we've been together and I don't think it will any time in the future. Or it won't as long as we don't wreck each other's dreams and this is one of yours. I know it is because you are more like your father than you will ever admit."

"Kairi," Yuffie whined.

"I'm not going to be mad with you if you do this," Kairi said. "In fact, I might be mad with you if you don't, especially if it's only because of me. "I'm used to you being gone, Yuffie, it's a fact of our life. Six months to a year is an exceptionally long period, I'll give you that, but there are worse things in life. Like you being miserable."

Yuffie took Kairi's hand in hers. "I'd never be miserable with you."

"And I don't want that to change. End of discussion, at least for now. I really don't want to fight with you over this, it's not worth it."

Yuffie wanted to say something, to keep arguing, but she couldn't figure out what to say. She also had a sneaking suspicion that anything else she said would only lead to more conflict. So she pulled Kairi into her arms and hugged her tight. Kairi hugged her back, which had to be a good sign.

"I'm coming with you to see the coot tomorrow," Yuffie said. "United we stand, you know?"

"I know," Kairi said. "And now I want to be alone for a bit. Can you respect that?"

Yuffie nodded, letting Kairi go. The redhead crawled back into bed and nodded and Yuffie. The ninja walked out of the room and shut the door. She kicked the couch feeling frustrated. She couldn't tell if she was angry because Kairi was mad with her or if it was because Kairi wasn't angrier.

'_This whole situation sucks!'_ Yuffie thought storming out onto the balcony. She wanted to scream. Instead she decided to yell at the person who was at fault for the entire situation. The moment he picked up Yuffie snapped, "Why the hell didn't you tell me you knew Yang Fang Leiden?"

"What are you going on about, girlie?" Godo asked.

"Yang Fang Leiden, the fighting monk," Yuffie said. "You know him and he knows you. So why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"You never listen to me when I tell you important things! Why should I bother telling you unimportant things? You'll just keep ignoring me!"

"I'm listening now!"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Afraid to admit you're a quitter?"

"Is that what he told you, that I quit?" Yuffie could hear him bristle. That comment had seriously offended him.

"Leiden said you left in disgrace before completing your training," Yuffie said. "That sounds like a quitter to me."

"I was sent away in disgrace with no option to return."

Yuffie scanned the city before asking what for.

"While I was a student of Master Eraqus I developed a new move," Godo said. "It was such a good move Master Eraqus decided to appropriate it as his own. I argued this because I felt it was mine because I created, even if it occurred while I was still under his tutelage and he ignored me. When I still pressed the issue he expelled me."

"Are you serious?" Yuffie said, aghast.

"Yes, Yuffie, and that is why we do not associate with Eraqus or his students."

"That's not cool."

"No, it is not. Now what brought up this subject for you, child?"

"I'm probably doing a movie with Yang Fang Leiden," Yuffie said, "and he mentioned you."

"You cannot work with him! We do nit associate with those people!"

"Your people aren't my people."

"I'll disown you!"

"You mean like you did when I broke mom's vase? Or when I decided to go to college? Or when I came out?"

"This is different!" Godo hissed. "This is about Family honor!"

"You mean your honor."

"They branded me a liar, which means they consider you the daughter of a liar!"

Yuffie stiffened at this. "Then I'll just have to prove them wrong. Goodbye Godo." She hung up before he could respond.

Yuffie tapped her phone against the railing and sighed. She knew her ninja sense were right, this job was more trouble than it was worth. Now she not only had to decide if she was taking the job, but also stabilize her relationship with Kairi, and restore honor to her family. Honor her father conveniently forgot to mention he had lost.

"Fuck, this is getting confusing," Yuffie growled. Giving up for now she went for a run.

**xxx**

"You look beautiful," Yuffie said, smiling gently.

Kairi bit her lip, trying to hold back a smile and failing. Yuffie liked how a simple compliment could still make her girlfriend blush. A light dusting a pink across Kairi's nose and cheeks looked adorable on her.

"It's just a cap and gown," Kairi said. "Nothing really that special."

"Nonsense," Yuffie said, snapping a picture. "You're graduating today and that makes this super extra special. I want to remember every moment. There's just one thing I don't get."

"What's that?" Kairi asked, taking off her mortarboard.

"Why is everything white? Isn't it supposed to be black?"

"Our school colors are black and white," Kairi said. "Twilight puts the undergrads in black and the grads in white for the ceremony. That includes the law and veterinary schools. It's to show we've completed a higher level of education."

"That makes sense."

"Come on," Kairi said, pulling off her robe. "We need to pick up my parents. Their plane arrives in an hour." She folded up the robe and packed it into a bag with the mortarboard. "I don't want to be late."

"That means we've got forty minutes," Yuffie said, taking her hand. "And we are going to spend those minutes here because thinking about your mom drives you crazy and I plan on distressing you. Leviathan knows when I'll get another chance."

"You know this will probably make us late." She sounded serious, but Yuffie could see the huge grin on Kairi's face. Her protest was only for form's sake and Yuffie knew she would soon say yes. By Bahamut Yuffie loved this special limited time only responsibility-free Kairi.

"Ten to one odds their plane will be late." That was all it took. Much to Yuffie's surprise Kairi jumped her.

In the end though, Yuffie was wrong. Mr. and Ms. Hart's plane arrived early and Mrs. Hart was most annoyed with the both of them when they showed up late and bedraggled. Personally, Yuffie didn't understand why they had to meet Kairi's parents at the airport, since they didn't have a car to take them home in, but there were weirder things out there. Her own father insisted on checking closet in the house for burglars before going to bed, including the three closets they kept locked specifically to cut down on burglar hiding spots. At least Yuffie could see Kairi was full of mirth. While her mother squawked about irresponsible behavior on the trolley to campus Kairi leaned over and nuzzled Yuffie's neck.

"You're in a good mood," Yuffie whispered.

"I'm actually in a state of terror," Kairi whispered back. "I've never not been in school before and how that's over. So I may look cool as a cucumber, but on the inside I'm panicking."

"You hide it well."

"I'm focusing on you."

"Then you're not mad at me for the Leiden thing anymore?"

Kairi sighed and looked away. "I haven't had time to think about it and now there isn't any," she said.

"Well, we don't have any other time."

The trolley rounded a corner pushing the passengers into each other. Yuffie could see the university now and knew they were about to arrive. She needed an answer now.

"Kairi?" Yuffie asked.

"This is our stop," Kairi said. She repeated this to her parents before herding them off the trolley. "We've got to separate now. Will you make certain my parents get to their seats?"

Yuffie nodded, although she wasn't happy.

Kairi hugged her parents then kissed Yuffie's cheek. "You'll make the right choice, Yuf. And no, I don't know what that is," Kairi said. "Although if you do go, you'd better stick around long enough to say a proper goodbye." Then she was gone.

'_Well, that was no help,'_ Yuffie thought. She pulled Mrs. Hart's bag out of her hand and said, "Come on, I think I know where we're going."

Leading Mrs. Hart was like herding cats. Yuffie tried to move forward and Mrs. Hart would stop to look at a mural, or talk to a student, or complain about the size of the campus. Whenever the ninja tried to direct her Mrs. Hart insisted she knew better and went the opposite way. She refused to believe Yuffie knew the campus, despite the fact Yuffie was the one with a map. It took over an hour to get the Harts to the proper auditorium where the law school's graduation ceremony was to occur.

'_I never thought she would inflict her mother as a deadly weapon,'_ Yuffie thought darkly as Mrs. Hart wandered into the ladies' restroom. _'This is totally payback for flirting with that job.'_

"I want to thank you, Yuffie," Mr. Hart said.

"What for?" Yuffie asked, surprised out of her murder fantasy.

"For taking care of my wife and me," he said. "I know you would much rather be with our daughter right now."

"It's no problem, Mr. Hart," Yuffie said. "I'd be stuck out here in the stands even if I was on my own."

"Frank," Mr. Hart said. At Yuffie's inquiring look he added, "I want you to call me by my first name, Frank. You make my little girl extremely happy and while I am often out of the loop, I have a suspicion you two will be together or many years to come."

"Okay Frank," Yuffie said, feeling weirded out.

"I just wanted you to know you're family, even if we don't always make you feel that way. If it helps, my wife ignores Kairi the same way she ignores you."

"Got it."

They lapsed into silence, standing there for another minute before Mrs. Hart emerged. Another direction battle ensued before Yuffie and Mr. Hart managed to situate Mrs. Hart on a bleacher. Yuffie looked around. The auditorium was crowded and people were still trickling into the room. They were situated in the upper balcony seats, where the stage was far away and tiny. Yuffie was glad she was gifted with ninja eagle eyes so that she could see okay. Mr. Hart had brought a camera with a powerful zoom function, while Mrs. Hart had opera glasses. They were ready just in time, as the first law graduate began to walk before Mrs. Hart could start complaining again.

'_If anyone ever tells you graduations are exciting they are lying their asses off,'_ Yuffie thought as yet another white robed person walked across the stage. _'I mean, everyone is stuck in uncomfortable seats listening to long rambling speeches that go on forever."_

She looked down and tried to spot her girl out in the crowd. It was difficult, but she was fairly certain Kairi was sitting third from the end in one of the middle rows. There weren't that many people with bright red hair, natural or otherwise.

'_I wonder if she's going to go prematurely grey?' _she thought, staring intently at the probable Kairi. _'People with that natural shade often do… Kairi'd probably look good with grey hair, a light grey. By Ixion, why have they only reached D?'_

The ceremony continued to drag on. A single person would be announced, walk across the stage, shake the hand of this pudgy old dude, and exit down the center aisle only to return to her original seat. Diplomas weren't even passed on the grounds there were simply too many people to get that in the proper order here. At least that's what Kairi had said when she explained how the process worked. She was expecting her diploma to arrive via postal service in about two weeks.

'_I can never ever tell her I regret sitting through this,'_ Yuffie thought as some dude with blue hair shook hands with the pudgy man. She thought he might be one of the guys from the mock trial, but Yuffie couldn't be certain. As for the pudgy man, Yuffie had no idea who he was. He was probably a president or dean or something like that.

"Look alive," Mr. Hart said, tapping Yuffie's shoulder. "That was the last of the Gs. Kairi should be up soon."

Yuffie straightened up and began paying attention. She finally accurately located her redhead. She was second in line about to cross the stage. She looked good, confident and collected, like an ideal graduate. The moment had arrived. Yuffie forgot about her own personal discomfort and focused on the love of her life.

"Hart, Kairi," the pudgy man boomed.

Kairi stepped up onto the stage from the left side. She glanced down to be certain of her footing and then strode confidently forward. She looked up to her right and seemed to stare straight up at Yuffie. Yuffie gave a loud whistle and waved. Kairi reached the fat man and shook his hand. He seemed to say something to her before letting go. Then Kairi turned and gracefully walked down the steps before strolling back to her seat. Before sitting down she winked at Yuffie.

Yuffie silently thanked Leviathan, Santa Claus, and the rest of the pantheon for allowing her to be there for this moment. There was nothing on earth she wanted more than to watch her girl succeed. It was in that moment Yuffie knew there could never be a substitute for Kairi. It was her or nothing.

The rest of the ceremony wasn't worth mentioning in Yuffie's opinion. It was long and boring and there was no longer any reason to pay attention. Thankfully, it finally ended and Yuffie was reunited with her girl. There was a plethora of photos taken. Some with Yuffie and Kairi, some of Kairi and her parents, a few of all four of them together, and even a couple of just Kairi.

Eventually the four of them were able to escape the great auditorium. They were among literally thousands fleeing the scene, yet there were still many people milling about and chatting. Kairi even had to stop several time and chat with other graduates. Most were people Yuffie had never even heard of, but she still found herself being introduced to each new person. It was hard to be cheerful and outgoing with every new person, as she couldn't feel her butt anymore. It was completely numb.

It looked like they had run out of people to meet. Yuffie shook her arms and legs, hoping to get some feeling back in them before she hauled Kairi over her shoulder and made a dash for the trolley. Instead she heard a familiar voice shout at her and stop her in mid grab.

"Get back here you little shits, just because you graduated doesn't mean I'm done with you, Hart." That could only be Professor Cid Highwind. When he caught up nodded at Yuffie and said, "Ninja girl."

"Crazy old coot," was Yuffie's response.

"Congratulations, Kairi, I'm very proud of you," Cid said, shaking Kairi's hand. "And you won't believe who I found skulking around." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder to reveal Cloud. "You wouldn't believe it to look at him, but Strife is also happy for you."

"I am delighted with your progress," Cloud said, smiling. Yuffie couldn't remember the last time she had seen him genuinely seen him smile at something other than Link, so it was worth noting.

"And who are these men, Kairi?" Mrs. Hart asked.

"This is my favorite professor, Cid Highwind, and my boss, Cloud Strife," Kairi said as she began introductions.

Yuffie could tell this conversation was going to take a while and possibly turn into dinner. So she shot Cloud a salute, because Kairi was took busy keeping her mother in check to pay attention, and wandered off. When it was time to go Kairi would yell for her or call her phone.

As if on cue, the moment Yuffie wandered up to the street a black limo pulled up. Before Yuffie realized what was happening, two martial artists—a petite blonde girl and a muscular man, also blond—jumped out of the car. They grabbed her and threw her in the back seat before leaping in themselves. Before the door was even shut the limo drove away.

"Do not tell me I was just fucking kidnapped," Yuffie snarled as she righted herself.

"Fine, I won't," the girl laughed.

Yuffie turned to glare at her, but stopped short when she saw Yang Fang Leiden and Leon seated in the limo. Both looked uncomfortable about what had just occurred, but obviously, neither had stopped it.

"You," she snarled, pointing a finger at Leon. "You let this happen?"

"We waited until after Kairi's graduation was over," Leon said, but even he wasn't buying his excuse.

"You people kidnapped me off the street!" Yuffie shrieked. "Kairi's probably freaking out right now and I'm supposed to be at war with your family, Leiden!"

"Why's that?" the girl asked.

"Ursula," Yang said in a warning tone. "Ms. Kisaragi's nerves are already frayed from our poor treatment. Do not provoke her."

"Who are you people?" Yuffie demanded.

"This is my daughter Ursula," Yang said, "and our costar Sabin Figaro."

"Hello," Sabin said. He sounded like what Yuffie thought an Italian would sound like.

"I still don't understand why you had to go and kidnap me," Yuffie snapped.

"We were worried you wouldn't make up your mind in time," Leon said. "Mr. Leiden already pushed the departure date back several days for your convince. I knew you'd decide to do this, so I decided we would help you get there."

Yuffie punched Leon in the face. It happened so fast no one reacted until there was blood dripping from Leon's nose.

"I deserved that," he said.

"You ever pull a stunt like this again and I'll fire your ass," Yuffie yelled. "I am not the type of girl who gets kidnapped!"

"Well, it looks like you are now," Ursula laughed. Yuffie ignored her.

"You mentioned being at war with my family?" Yang said, trying to change the flow of the conversation.

"My father says your sacred master stole a move he made and then exiled him," Yuffie said. "That's more than enough to start a feud between different martial lineages."

"Master Erquas would never do such a thing!" Ursula said.

"Do you have any basis for your accusations?" Yang asked.

"My old man's a drunk and the most stubborn man alive, but he's no liar and no cheat," Yuffie said. "I'd bet my reputation on it."

"And it is a good reputation" Yang said gravely. "I will have to think about this. Which move is in question?"

Yuffie began describing the complicated move her father developed in his youth. Yang listened intently and seemed to understand exactly what she was talking about. The other three seemed to tune her out after a moment, but Yang understood. When she finished he sat there and thought for a moment before responding.

"I recognize that move," he said. "And I remember my master performing in on many an occasion. If I recall correctly, he claimed the move as his, but never said that he created it. While that may be a small distinction, it is a distinction and it is in your father's favor."

"I see," Yuffie said slowly.

"If you were to perform that move in our film everyone would assume that the move is yours, which would return it to the Kisaragi family."

"Then I accept my role," Yuffie said. Everyone in the car relaxed. Apparently she was more valuable to this film than she had realized. "But I'm not leaving for Midgar tonight."

"Why not?" Yang asked.

"Think you're too good to fly with us?" Ursula asked.

"You kidnapped me in front of my girlfriend," Yuffie said. "She's freaked and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye."

"So?"

"I promised her I'd say goodbye and an honorable person always keeps her promises." Yuffie flicked Ursula on the nose. "I'll catch up with you people in a few days after I've packed."

Yuffie lunged for the door, kicked it open and fell out of the moving vehicle. They had been going about thirty miles an hour, so she rolled several times and bruised herself. Still, she was quickly on her feet and waved the limo goodbye. As soon as the limo was out of sight Yuffie whipped out her cell phone and called Kairi.

"Yuffie? My god, Yuffie, are you okay?" Kairi said as soon as the call connected.

"I'm fine, babe," Yuffie said. "Leiden's people just decided to kidnap me so that we could settle the terms of our agreement. Are Spiky, Cid and Link joining us for dinner?"

"Yeah," Kairi said. "So what did you decide?"

"I'm doing the film, but I'm not flying to Midgar until I'm fucking ready," Yuffie said proudly.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you. Umm… can someone come pick me up? I just jumped out of a moving car and I don't know where I am."

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Kairi promised. Yuffie believed her.

**xxx**

"So I think I'm packed," Yuffie said. She thumped her suitcase. "Can you believe I got six months of stuff into only three bags?"

"You beat me," Kairi laughed, gesturing at her own four.

"I'm going to miss this place," Yuffie said, looking around the apartment. "Are you certain it wouldn't just be easier to move?"

"No, it wouldn't," Kairi said. "I'm only going to be in Midgar for a couple months until my papers come through with the Bar. Two, maybe three, months isn't worth it."

"I still can't believe you've coming to Midgar with me," Yuffie giggled.

"What can I say? It made sense," Kairi laughed. "I'm joining an environmental policy law firm, I may as well get some practice in with an environmental activist organization while I still can't practice law."

"I thought AVALANCHE was an eco-terrorist group."

Kairi shook her head. "You're thinking of the fringe extremists. The main organization, which is located in Midgar, is composed of legally abiding citizens who care about the environment. Cloud was a part of AVALANCHE when he was in college. I think Tifa's still a member."

"That would explain why she's against paper napkins," Yuffie said brightly.

Kairi just laughed, then groaned when she saw the clock. "I hope our cab is downstairs. We need to leave now if we're to catch our plane. Is Yunie in her carrier?"

Yuffie groaned. "I'm not ready to be airsick for four hours."

Kairi laughed and kissed her girlfriend's forehead. "You know what, you're going to be horribly sick for the entire flight and want to die."

"Thanks babe."

"But on the bright side," Kairi continued, kissing her Yuffie. "I'm going to be right next to you for the entire flight taking your mind off the fact we're hurtling through the air at fifty thousand feet. Then we are going to arrive in Midgar and we are going to have so much fun and get into so much trouble because that's just what we do."

Yuffie brightened at this foretelling. Kairi was right. There would be momentary discomfort before they could experience something grand. And Yuffie was going to be in a kung fu movie! No matter where she went or what challenges they faced, Yuffie knew that she would have Kairi at her side. Together they would turn this life from something ordinary into something extraordinary. Yuffie grinned at Kairi; she knew they were on the best adventure in the world.

That's a wrap. Congratulations for finishing the 30th and final chapter of Ordinary Adventures. This has been a long running work I started writing almost six years ago and I am delighted to have finally finished it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter or the story as a whole. Reviewing only takes a minute. Thank you for reading my story.


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